Boston Legal

Boston Legal

Boston Legal is an American legal comedy-drama television series created by David E. Kelley and produced in association with 20th Century Fox Television for ABC. The series aired from October 3, 2004 to December 8, 2008. The series starred James Spader, William Shatner, and Candice Bergen.

Year:
2004
13,601 Views

Alan Shore:
[to Tara] Hello, I'm a complete stranger and I'm here to pick you up. [notices Joe] Oh, I see, there's two of us. I'll be evens, you be odds.

Joe:
You got a problem?

Alan Shore:
No, actually. I just saw this fair maiden here talking to a tree trunk, and since I'm an arborist I thought I could help translate.

Joe:
Here's a health tip. Walk away.

Alan Shore:
Why would I do that?

Tara Wilson:
All right, guys.

Alan Shore:
Don't be deceived by my cushy appearance.

Tara Wilson:
Excuse me. I actually am with him.

Joe:
I don't care. Walk away, or I lay you out.

Alan Shore:
I don't mean to be a stickler, but isn't the object to lay her out? [Joe punches Alan]

Tara Wilson:
Hey!

Joe:
Oh, gee, I'm sorry, I was reaching for my wallet...

Alan Shore:
I see. Allow me to reach for mine. [walks away to the other end of the bar]

Tara Wilson:
Are you all right?

Alan Shore:
Fine. [to Mike and friends] Hello, big people. Sorry to intrude, but you seem rather strapping. Here's three hundred dollars. Would you be so kind as to go hit that man down there?

Mike:
[laughs incredulously] Really?

Tara Wilson:
Alan!

Alan Shore:
There's an extra hundred if he goes down.

Mike:
You're on.

Alan Shore:
Make it a good one.

Tara Wilson:
Oh, for God's sakes.

Alan Shore:
[Mike hits Joe; fistfight ensues. Alan gives money to Mike's friend] Here's a hundred; go help your friend.

Alan Shore:
[watches the fighting] Gee, seems Joe has buddies. [passing out money to Mike's friends] One for you, one for you. I've got plenty of them. Hit him hard, now. For you, and for you...

Alan Shore:
I'm sorry, Denny.

Denny Crane:
No you're not. You're relieved.

Alan Shore:
Well, I'm that, too. But if you truly loved her then I am sorry.

Denny Crane:
...

Alan Shore:
Denny?

Denny Crane:
There's no need to be sorry, Alan. Love, even when it's fleeting, even if it's for a day or two...it's everything. Don't you agree?

Alan Shore:
I do. I actually think it's why I'm still single. Every morning I get to wake up and I get to wonder: "Will this be the day?" Every night when I lay my head on my pillow I wonder: "Will I meet her tomorrow?" I imagine what she'll look like, her smile, the way she does her hair, how she laughs, the contour of her breasts, neck... The promise of love can be everything. It's a magic you really find in marriage if you luck out.

Denny Crane:
Do you believe married people can stay in love?

Alan Shore:
Oh, I believe thy can know even more profound joys be it with children, the depth of the relationship itself can evolve into something they can't possibly live without. And yet, it's something that doesn't quite so resemble love. It's not the romance of love.

Denny Crane:
I never knew you to be such a romantic.

Alan Shore:
My problem is I'm too romantic. No woman can possibly live up to the promise of tomorrow that love holds for me.

Denny Crane:
What about me?

Alan Shore:
That not the same. You know one thing I do love about you?

Denny Crane:
Tell me!

Alan Shore:
While many people embrace the promise of tomorrow, too few celebrate the joy of now. And nobody does that like Denny Crane.

Denny Crane:
Let me tell you something. When you got polar ice caps melting and breaking off into big chunks and you got Osama still hiding in a cave, planning his next attack, when you got other rogue nations with nuclear arsenals, and not to mention some wack-job, home-grown that can cancel you at any second and when you got...mad cow, now gets high priority. And when you're still on the balcony on a clear night, sipping scotch with your best friend, now is everything.

Alan Shore:
Here's to that.

Denny Crane:
Here's to now.

Father Michael Ryan:
And suddenly he's swinging the axe. I put my hand out and he chopped it. He cut three of my fingers right off. They just fell to the floor.

A.D.A. Frank Ginsberg:
And then what happened, sir?

Father Michael Ryan:
Well, I was rushed to the hospital. Two of my fingers were recovered and re-attached. And then his colleague, that woman, came in brandishing my third finger. She wouldn't give it back unless I revealed privileged information about one of my parishioners. He cut it off and she extorted me with it.

Shirley Schmidt:
My first question would be... if someone is swinging an axe, why stick your hand out?

Father Michael Ryan:
I didn't think he'd actually try to...

Shirley Schmidt:
And to be clear, when you speak of your parishioner, you refer to the man charged with kidnapping the child.

Father Michael Ryan:
Well, yes.

Shirley Schmidt:
And also to be clear... you knew your parishioner was a pedophile.

Father Michael Ryan:
I am not going to reveal privileged information to you, just like I wouldn't to him.

Shirley Schmidt:
But you did reveal information to Miss Bauer. You told her where your parishioner's hideaway was. You'll reveal privileged information to get your fingers back, but not to save the life of a child.

A.D.A. Frank Ginsberg:
Objection.

Judge Clark Brown:
Sustained!

Shirley Schmidt:
As a policy, if a pedophile killer confesses his crime, you'll protect that secret.

Father Michael Ryan:
I cannot break the confessional seal. It's Canon Law.

Shirley Schmidt:
Is that stupid?

A.D.A. Frank Ginsberg:
Objection!

Shirley Schmidt:
[judge raises hand] I'm sorry. But the laws in this country to protect against child abuse supersede doctor-patient privilege, lawyer-client privilege, but not priest-parishioner privilege? Has the Catholic Church earned some special exemption when it comes to pedophiles?

A.D.A. Frank Ginsberg:
Objection!

Shirley Schmidt:
[judge raises hand] Do we trust them more in this area?

Father Michael Ryan:
That's a cheap shot.

Shirley Schmidt:
I've been known to take them.


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