Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted

Capitaine Chantel DuBois:
Poor animals. You should have stayed in the wild. Now, you deal with ME!

[from trailer]

Capitaine Chantel DuBois:
You can run, but you can not save your hides!

King Julien XIII:
[in a train] Hey, this is not first class!

Maurice:
Oh! Definitely coach.

Alex:
[Marty drives a van] What're you doing? Zebras can't drive, only penguins and people can drive!

King Julien XIII:
[to a female bear] Has anyone ever told you that you look like a supermodel, albeit a fat, hairy one, who smells?

[the Bear eats him... and pulls him out by his tail]

King Julien XIII:
Whoa-ha-ha!

Skipper:
Grab your luggage and drain your bladders, it's gonna be a long trip.

Alex:
We're going the wrong way! Turn around!

Marty:
Just call me Marty-o Andretti!

Alex:
No, you're Sucky-o Andretti!

Marty:
Stop back-seat driving!

Alex:
I'm passenger-seat driving, and I want the wheel! Give me the wheel!

Marty:
It's not a wheel, it's my baby!

Alex:
Your hooves aren't meant to be on a wheel!

Marty:
It's too late for you to drive now!

Alex:
Stefano, you're a genius.

Stefano:
No, I'm a not. I'm only average intelligence. Some even say slightly below.

Jonesy the Dog:
Why should we even help them? They're not even circus.

Vitaly:
That's Bolshevik!

Skipper:
As much as I hate to admit it in American soil, the Ruskie's right.

Stefano:
My tears are real! You are not!

Capitaine Chantel DuBois:
You know what they say. When in Rome... [jumps onto police scooter] VIVA LA FRANCE!

Marty:
I'm like a candy cane in a black and white movie.

Capitain Chantel DuBois:
Voila! Giraffe at 12 o' clock.

Melman:
Guys we got a tail

Julien:
Paparazzi!

Marty:
It's the fuzz! What are we gonna do?

Marty:
[singing and dancing] Da-da-dadadada-da-da, circus, da-da-dadadada-da-da, afro! Circus afro, circus afro! Polka dot, polka dot, polka dot afro!

Alex:
...Really?

Melman:
I can't dance!

Gloria:
Maybe that's because you've never tried it before.

Melman:
I *have* tried it! I practice in private because you're so good at it...

Gloria:
You practice? For me?

Melman:
Yeah, but... It's no use! I never know what to do with my arms.

Gloria:
That's the easy part. [wraps Melman's arms around her neck] You just put your arms around your partner.

Alex:
Well, I say they can take the animals out of the circus, but they can't take the animals out of the circus! [pause] Uh, you know what I mean!

[Gloria gets stuck after falling down an air shaft, nearly crushing Alex, Marty, and Melman]

Melman:
[to Gloria, sweetly yet awkwardly] Hi, honey!

Gloria:
It's just like dancing; two steps forward, one step back...

Alex:
[in a dream] What happened to you? You're so *elderly*!

[the group is observing their old homes from outside the zoo gates]

Alex:
Hmm... My rock looks smaller than I remember it being...

Marty:
Hey, look, it's the mural! Heh, doesn't quite capture the real thing, does it?

Gloria:
Well, there's our homes... I forgot about that wall between us, Melman. Was that always there?

King Julien XIII:
Sonya! I miss you, baby! I miss your stinky kisses!

Marty:
[to Alex as he gets into the driver's seat] Move over, Miss Daisy!

Capitaine Chantel DuBois:
[Alex gets rid of DuBois by throwing her into a pool as they fly away] Well played, Lion. Game on.

Vitaly:
It is impossible.

Alex:
It was always impossible. That's why the people loved it.

Vitaly:
That is why I loved it, because I did the impossible.

Alex:
I just wanted to thank you for letting us get in the train. You know "the cat with the accent" wasn't so happy about this and...

Gia:
Listen, lion guy. This circus means everything to us. And if you do anything that threatens this circus, you'll have to answer to me. Capiche?

Alex:
Yeah, capiche. Cool! Trust me, we're cool.

Alex:
Skipper, what about the plane?

Skipper:
Well, the chimps will work all through the night, no breaks, no safety restrictions...

[Chimps run off]

Skipper:
Hey! Where are you going? Get back here, we have a contract!

Mason:
Yes, well, I'm afraid the labour laws are slightly more lenient in France. You see, they only have to work 2 weeks in a year.

Skipper:
Well, someone else has the Canadian work ethic!

Alex:
And Melman, you're the Brooklyn Bridge.

Melman:
Actually, I'm the Triborough Bridge.

Skipper:
I say we let it ride, then we pick up the hippies and fly back in style.

Kowalski:
Can we get an Airbus A380?

Skipper:
Solid gold, baby!

Kowalski:
Skipper, I'm afraid a solid gold plane would be too heavy to fly.

Skipper:
Kowalski, we'll be rich. The rules of physics don't apply to us.

Marty:
Man, that is one ugly, mag-ugly lady! That is roach-killing ugly!

Alex:
Wait a minute, that's no lady, that's the King of Versailles; and that's not the King of Versailles, that's the chimps! And the chimps are smoke, and where there's smoke, there's fire, and by fire, I mean the penguins!

King Julien XIII:
[Waiting for the signal to turn off the casino master switch] Now?

Maurice:
Not yet.

King Julien XIII:
Okay?

Maurice:
No! [later]

Maurice:
Now!

King Julien XIII:
[Sticking pencils in his nose, ears and mouth] Uh, I'm a little busy right now.

Maurice:
Just pull the switch!

King Julien XIII:
Okay, fine.

Alex:
The Colosseum, the original theater in the round, Marty. You know, my ancestors used to perform here.

Marty:
No kiddin'?

Alex:
Yeah. Every show had a captive audience. Apparently, they killed.

Melman:
How are a zebra, a hippo, a lion and a giraffe going to walk into a casino in Monte Carlo?

Marty:
I don't know. Ask the rabbi.

Skipper:
[Having a pillow fight with the other penguins] You all pillow fight like little girls! [Rico hits Skipper hard with a pillow, feathers fly out] Chimichanga! These pillows are stuffed with baby birds!

Vitaly:
Absolut no outsiders! So wipe that Smirnoff your face and Popov.

Skipper:
You better know what you're doing. You're blowing away the Private's college fund.

Private:
I'll never be President!

Marty:
Afro, don't fail me now!

Marty:
This is crackalackin' to the mackalackin'!

Stefano:
Maybe I am average intelligence after all.

Alex:
Some would even say slightly above.

Stefano:
No, I don't think so.

King Julien XIII:
It is clear that I am just an emotional whoopee cushion for you to sit on. When you look for where I am, I won't be there!

Gia:
Alex? You are from a zoo?

[pause]

Alex:
Yes. Yes. But wait, there's more.

Gia:
More?

Alex:
Or less. There's less.

Vitaly:
You were never circus?

Gloria:
We had to say we were circus.

Melman:
Or you'd never let us on the train.

Gia:
After all we have been through together, you want to go live in a zoo?

Alex:
Gia, I...

Vitaly:
You used us.

Alex:
No, no, no. I mean - I mean yes but,

Gia:
Trapeze americano, you make that up, too?

Alex:
It didn't exactly exist when I taught it to you.

Gia:
Jet packs and aquatic cobras! I should've known.

Stefano:
Balloons to the children of the world was not real, either?

Alex:
Yeah, that's not real. But look at what we did.

Stefano:
I was shot out of a cannon! I could've died!

Marty:
But I thought it was your lifelong dream.

Stefano:
For all I know, your name is not even Alice.

Alex:
No, Stefano, but it never really was,

Stefano:
I don't feel safe!

Alex:
Gia, I...

Gia:
We trusted you.

Stefano:
My tears are real! You are not!

[First lines]

Skipper:
OK. Wind her up, boys! It's Monte Carlo or bust. Struts.

Kowalski:
Check.

Skipper:
Flaps.

Kowalski:
Check.

Skipper:
Diamonds and gold.

Kowalski:
Check.

Skipper:
We'll be back from our gambling spree in a couple weeks.

All:
Bye!

Skipper:
Or whenever the gold runs out.

Marty:
Buh-bye!

Melman:
Good-bye.

Alex:
All right! We'll be waiting for you!

Skipper:
Just kidding! We're never coming back!

Alex:
Sorry! What was that?

Skipper:
Initiate warp drive.

Alex:
Did they just say they were never coming back? Guys? Marty?

Marty:
Oh, goody, you're here! Why don't you just chew on this? I'm hungry.

Melman:
Ow, I'm just messing with you. I lost all feeling in this thing years ago. [Laughs, snoring]

Alex:
Melman, why do you look like that?

Gloria:
Well, look who's talking.

Alex:
Gloria? Why are you guys so... elderly?

Gloria:
Now, when was the last time you looked in the mirror?

Alex:
What? No!

Marty:
Wake up! Wake up, Ally-Al! Wake up!

Alex:
Marty! Marty, it was horrible.

Marty:
That same nightmare again, huh?

Alex:
We were stuck here in Africa, and we were all super-old and wrinkly... Well, I aged well, but the rest of you looked terrible!

Marty:
Relax, Alex. 'Cause I got a surprise for you!

Alex:
Is it the penguins? :Have they come to take us home?

Marty:
Nope. But it's the next best thing.

Alex:
Another day bites the dust.

Marty:
Come on, now! Watch it. Watch yourself. Small divots! Sorry, little incline there. Back up this hill. A low-hanging branch, then just over this bluff and voila! Happy birthday, pal!

Alex:
Whoa. Wow! New York City.

Gloria and Melman:
Surprise!

Alex:
Gloria! You're the Statue of Liberty!

Gloria:
Bring me your huddled masses, baby!

Alex:
And, Melman, you're the Brooklyn Bridge!

Melman:
Actually, I'm the Triborough Bridge.

Alex:
Wow! You guys made this?

Marty:
Yeah. From memory! From crazy, obsessive memory.

Alex:
Hey! Fifth Avenue... with no traffic! There's Times Square, with its modern-day corporate lack of character. Nine Duane Reades on the same street! And the zoo. Wow, our home. Look! There's a little me. And little all of us-es!

Kids:
Alex! Alex! Alex!

Alex:
Roar!

Marty:
Oh, no!

Alex:
You guys. You've both made and ruined my day.

Gloria:
Make a wish, sweetheart.

[Alex blows out the candle]

King Julien':
Ta-da! Your wish has come true!

Mort:
Oh, yay! My tummy is speaking to me!

Alex:
Oh, gross!

King Julien:
I wouldn't eat that side of the cake if I were you.

Gloria:
Alex, what was your wish?

Alex:
I wished we could go home. I mean, don't get me wrong. I love this. But it's not the real thing.

Marty:
That's because it's a mud model, Alex. It's not actually New York. I hope that was clear.

Alex:
What are we doing? Here we are relying on the penguins to come back for us. But... we should just go to Monte Carlo and get them.

Melman:
How do a lion, a zebra, a giraffe and a hippo walk into a casino in Monte Carlo?

Marty:
I don't know. Ask the rabbi!

Melman:
Hey, I'm serious.

Alex:
Come on! We can do it! We can do anything! It's us!

Marty:
We're us!

Alex:
Yeah, that's right. We've gone halfway around the world! Compared with that, Monte Carlo's just a hop, skip and a swim away!

Melman:
Yeah.

Alex:
To home.

Marty:
Home!

Melman:
Home.

Gloria:
Home.

King Julien':
Cheeseburger.

Alex:
Tell you what, bet those penguins will be glad to see us.

Marty:
Yeah, they're probably bored out of their minds!

Skipper:
[Having a pillow fight with the other penguins] You all pillow fight like little girls! [Rico hits Skipper hard with a pillow, feathers fly out] Chimichanga! These pillows are filled with baby birds!

[The gang looks at a European coastline.]

Melman:
[gargles] There it is, the casino.

Alex:
What?

Melman:
[takes off his snorkel] There it is, the casino.

Alex:
[gargles] Perfect, that's where we'll find the penguins.

Marty:
What?

Alex:
[takes off his snorkel] I said, "Perfect, that's where we'll find the penguins."

[Marty gargles]

Gloria:
[takes off her snorkel] What?

[Marty takes off his snorkel and continues gargling]

Alex:
Shh! Come on, guys. Operation - Penguin Extraction does not include levity. We can't draw attention to ourselves. We're invisible. I'm talking really, really quiet.

Alex:
Okay. Phase 1 - we break into the casino, grab the penguins, and get them to take us back to New York in the Monkey-Powered Super Plane!

Marty:
Check.

Alex:
Phase 2 - we chew out the penguins for abandoning us in Africa.

Melman:
Check.

Alex:
Phase 3 - we apologize to the penguins for overly harsh chewing outing, but we've gotten our point across. Phase 4 - back to New York City.

Gloria:
Yes!

Melman:
I like it!

Alex:
All right, we take these ventilation ducts to the crawlspace above the casino where we find the penguins. We just need to figure out which duct each of us should take.

Alex:
Now, they're not gonna let animals on to the casino floor, so expect some kind of disguise.

Marty:
Look at that! That is one ugly, mug-ugly lady! That is roach-killing ugly!

Alex:
That's not a lady. That's the King of Versailles. And that's not the King of Versailles. That's the chimps. And the chimps are like smoke. And where there's smoke, there's fire. And by fire, I mean the penguins!

Mason:
King of Versailles wins again.

Skipper:
I say we let it ride. Then we'll pick up the hippies and fly back to New York in style.

Kowalski:
Can we buy an Airbus A-380?

Skipper:
Solid gold, baby!

Kowalski:
Sir! A solid gold plane wouldn't be able to fly.

Skipper:
Kowalski, we'll be rich! The rules of physics don't apply to us. Let it ride!

Mason:
Right-o!

Alex:
OK. In exactly 2 minutes and 17 seconds, the lemurs will cut the power.

King Julien:
Now?

Maurice:
No.

King Julien':
Okay?

Maurice:
No.

King Julien':
Now?

Maurice:
No.

Alex:
I drop down, grab the penguins. You crank me up, and we are out of here.

Marty:
Let me drop down! I'll grab the penguins!

Alex:
You don't have fingers, Marty.

Julien':
Now, do it?

Maurice:
No, no!

Alex:
These are things a leader has to think of.

Marty:
Why should you be the leader? Why not me?

Alex:
'Cause I'm the phase tracker! The king is letting it ride.

Marty:
How did I get phased out?

Alex:
You're part of a phase. A phase isn't something you own, it's something you're in.

Skipper:
That's it.

Marty:
Who voted you Grand Phase Master anyway?

Alex:
Me! I voted me! 'Cause I'm the leader!

Mason:
Black!

Skipper:
That's it, baby!

Julien':
Now?

Maurice:
No!

Mason:
The King of Versailles wins it all!

Melman:
Maybe I should be in charge.

Gloria:
Melman!

Melman:
I am a doctor.

King Julien':
Now!

Maurice:
No.

Marty:
Why can't we all be leaders?

Gloria:
Enough! I'm gonna lead.

Mason:
What's new, pussycat?

Skipper:
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Alex:
Marty, what phase are we at?

Marty:
Uh, (I think...) phase 3: apologize!

Alex:
Right. Oh, man, we are so sorry.

Skipper:
Well, apology accepted. Let's roll!

Alex:
Marty, we skipped Phase 2: we didn't chew them out!

Marty:
Don't look at me. I'm just following the leader! (Besides, we ruin their gambling.)

[scenes Cut to Maurice and Mort are ringing clock]

Maurice:
Now!

Julien':
I'm a bit busy right now.

Maurice:
JUST PULL THE SWITCH!!!

Julien':
Okay, fine.

[Turn lights out and Light on]

Alex:
What the heck is going on with the lights?

King Julien':
Yo, tell me what you want What you really, really want I'll tell you what I want What I really, really want...

Gloria:
What are you doing?! Come on!

[Mort light off]

Hotel Security:
Initiate lock-down! And get me Capitaine Dubois from Animal Control!

Dubois:
[humming, phone rings, answers phone] Speak. Oui. A zebra? A hippo? A giraffe? A LION?!?! When I was 7, I strangled my first parrot, flushed my first goldfish, punched my first snake. Now I have finally reached the moment I have been preparing for my entire life. The pinnacle of my career - to hunt the king of the beasts!

Alex:
Oh, no.

Skipper:
Lockdown, eh?

Melman:
What do we do?

Gloria:
All right, everybody, stand back. I got this one. [does so, but fails] Never mind.

Skipper:
Well, you only get one chance at a first impression. [whistles and car arrives]

Alex:
What just happened?

Gloria:
Where are we? What is this?

Skipper:
We call it the Luxury Assault Recreational Vehicle.

Toy:
The car goes vroom-vroom!

Skipper:
Step on it, boys!

Hotel Security:
Captain DuBois, I am so happy to see you! You will not believe--

DuBois:
[grabs the hotel owner and angrily slaps him with his hand] Get back, you fool! Your cheap cologne is obscuring the animal musk!

Hotel Security:
Oh, my face! [falls to the ground after DuBois lets go of him]

Dubois:
Poor, poor animals. You should never have left the forest. Now you deal with me.

Vitaly:
Which one of you is leader? [Marty points at Alex] Tell your comrades there is 1 rule we do not break!

Alex:
Thou shall say it, and not spray it?

Vitaly:
NYET! Circus owner no allow stowaways!

King Julien XIII:
[when on a train; sniffs] Hey, this is not First Class.

Maurice:
Definitely coach.

Mort:
[scarily] La, la la... La, la la... La, la la

King Julien':
Mort! Stop it! [Mort giggles]

Julien:
[to Sonya the Bear] Hey, gorgeous. Has anyone ever told you that you look like a supermodel? Albeit a fat hairy one who smells? [Sonya eats him and pulls him out by his tail] WHOA! [Sonya puts him on her back] You have a very furry back. I love that in a woman.

[DuBois gets cuffed by an Italian cop after high-jacking their scooters]

Italian Cop #1:
You are in-a big trouble!

[DuBois shoots the cop with tranquilizer, knocking him out]

Italian Cop #2:
Now, you're really in-a big trouble!

[DuBois tranquilizes that cop]

Italian Cop #3:
Now, you're really REALLY in-a big trouble!

[DuBois tranquilizes that cop]

Italian Cop #4:
I'm-a new!

[DuBois tries to tranquilize that cop, but is out of darts]

Stefano:
OK! Strike up the band!

Marty:
You have a band?

Stefano:
Prepare to be blown away!

Alex:
Blow me away!

Stefano:
Here we go! Look at this. Whoa! Hey! It's nice to be...

Alex:
Yay...

Stefano:
Hey! Whoa! How do dogs do that? Get on with it! Stupido!

Skipper:
Well, that was worth the price of admission. [eat popcorn]

Jonesy:
Watch it, mate!

Stefano:
Who's from Cincinnati?

Alex:
Stefano, you know "blown away" means good, right?

Stefano:
Don't worry. The big finale is coming up! Give me a downbeat! Look at this!

Alex:
Oh, no. No, this is not happening.

Dubois:
You have a deal, mi amigo.

Stefano:
It's good, no? Yes, go out and get food and come back!

Marty:
Deep breaths. You're in a happy place. It's all good.

Mason:
There's an angry mob outside, and they're demanding their money back!

Skipper:
I think we all know the right thing to do.

Alex:
Come on, come on!

Marty:
Come on! Hurry up!

Alex:
Hop on the train! Come on, guys!

Stefano:
Mamma Mia!

Gloria:
Hurry up!

Stefano:
Grazie, Alice. Just throw us the money!

Policemen 1:
That's it! I'm going in.

Policemen 2:
Stop! It's too dangerous!

Policemen 3:
Don't be a hero!

DuBois:
Lion. 12 hours old. Two hundred and fifty kilograms. Glossy mane. Too much conditioner. Stupid bozos! Hello, kitty! So, you ran away with the circus. What a cliche.

Skipper:
What a dump! If they want to attract a decent sports team, they should bulldoze this rat trap and invest in a new arena.

Alex:
The Colosseum, Marty! The original theater-in-the-round. My ancestors used to perform here.

Marty:
No kidding!

Alex:
Yeah. Every show had a captive audience. Apparently, they killed.

Marty:
Sounds like a great gig!

Stefano:
Trenta minuti, everybody! Trenta minuti! This is so exciting!

Alex:
Remember, we just lay low. Stay out of the way. Let them do their thing.

Marty:
Aw, Would you look at this? You gotta go back in your momma's belly, 'cause you're too cute to be out here in the real world.

Frankie:
Oi! Naff off, you Muppet!

Marty:
Whoa! What the...?

Alex:
Marty, they're professionals. Come on.

Marty:
You look gorgeous!

Alex:
All right, animals! We may be your new owners, but we don't want to reinvent the circus wheel here, so just go out, do what you do! Just think of this as a fun warm-up for that promoter in London. Right, Marty? Mar... Marty?

Marty:
I want to be a circus horse!

Esperanza:
We could paint you white!

Esmeralda:
And then paint you pink!

Marty:
Awesome!

Alex:
Not laying very low, are we, Marty?

Stefano:
Sonya! Where is the bear? Sonya! We're about to start!

Alex:
Hey, Vitaly! Got your game face on. Good game face. What is that cat's problem? "I'm a mean Russian cat who isn't nice to anybody."

Melman:
Hey, honey, look! Look, I'm doing it!

Alex:
Guys, stop fooling around.

Melman:
We're just having a little fun.

Alex:
Let's let these animals do their show.

Marty:
Ta-da! [sings the circus song while wearing a rainbow Afro and polka-dot paint] ? Da da da-da-da-da-da da, circus! Da da da-da-da-da-da-da, Afro! Circus, Afro, Circus, Afro, polka dot, polka dot, polka dot, Afro! ?

Alex:
Really?

Stefano:
Sonya!? Where's Sonya the bear?

Skipper:
Kowalski, signal the chimps to meet us at the rendezvous point with the Super Plane. Hotel Ambassador. Let's move it!

Melman:
Whoo-hoo. Ow! Huh.

DuBois:
Voila. Giraffe at twelve o'clock.

Melman:
Guys, we've got a tail.

Julien:
Paparazzi!

Skipper:
Pedal to the metal, Private.

Julien:
Don't take any photos, please! Hi! Here I am! Don't take... any... photos.

Mort:
No more pictures!

Skipper:
Medic!

Skipper:
ETA to rendezvous point?

Kowalski:
2 minutes, 37 seconds, sir.

Skipper:
Man your battle stations!

Alex:
Hey! Wait! Nobody's at the wheel! Get back there! Negative on the driver! There's no driver!

Gloria:
Help! Nobody's driving! Oh, no! We're going to die!

Skipper:
Don't just sit there, fancy pants. Grab the wheel!

Alex:
Are you kidding? I don't drive. I'm a New Yorker!

Marty:
Move over, Miss Daisy!

Alex:
What are you doing? Zebras can't drive! Only penguins and people can drive.

Marty:
What do all these buttons do? [Turns the radio on and plays "Any Way You Want It" by Journey]

Melman:
Alex!

Skipper:
Nice one, Stripes!

Maurice:
Crazy woman gaining!

Skipper:
Our Omega-3 slick will take them down. Private, activate! She's good! Kowalski, Intel.

Kowalski:
Sir, we have a serious problem. Captain Chantal Dubois, Monaco Animal Control. Perfect case record.

Alex:
You're going the wrong way, Marty!

Marty:
Just call me Marty-o Andretti.

Alex:
No. You're Sucky-o Andretti!

Marty:
Stop backseat driving!

Alex:
I'm passenger-seat driving. Give me the wheel.

Marty:
It's not a wheel, it's my baby!

Alex:
Your hoofs aren't meant to be on a wheel!

Marty:
Hey! Too late for you to drive!

Alex:
Don't look at me! Don't look at me when we argue! Look at the road!

Marty:
[suddenly notices Dubois is right next to them] Be cool, be cool! [to Dubois] Hi, Officer. Is there a problem?

Alex:
Hi.

Melman:
Watch out!

Skipper:
We need more power. Time to fire up Kowalski's nucular reactor.

Gloria:
That's a nuclear reactor?

Skipper:
Nucular.

Melman:
She's on the roof!

Kowalski:
But, sir, it's not ready. The control rods will have to be calibrated. And don't even ask me about the Uranium-238 blanket.

Skipper:
Okay.

Alex:
OK, Marty, we lost her! Maybe you can slow down now.

Marty:
I can't! There's no brakes!

Skipper:
No brakes? Way to commit, soldier.

Alex:
Let's get out of here!

Gloria:
Go, go, go! Move! Now!

Julien:
Hey, where's everybody going? I'm flying! I'm flying! I'm the first flying monkey!

Mort:
Oh, yay!

Marty:
That's our ticket out of here!

Melman:
Yeah, baby!

Alex:
Everybody, on the monkey chain!

Skipper:
Deploy banana gun!

Alex:
Grab the little guys! Toss them up! Let's go! Go, go, go! Go!

Marty:
Faster, faster, faster! Come on!

Alex:
Come on, Melman!

Melman:
Yeah!

Gloria:
Melman!

[Monkeys grabs On Alex’s feet and hold on Melman leg]

Melman:
Ah! My neck!

Skipper:
Put your backs into it! Double banana overtime! Serpentine! Serpentine!

Julien:
Hey, this lady's really starting to freak me out. Fix it, Mort.

[Mort falls in DuBois' jacket]

Alex:
Hold this.

Marty:
Alex, be careful! She's crazy!

Alex:
You think, Marty?!

[Mort comes out and land on Melman’s neck. Alex cut rope And DuBois fall in the water]

Alex:
That's right! Home free, baby!

Melman:
I can breathe!

Alex:
Au revoir, Dubois!

DuBois:
Well played, lion. Game on.

Stefano:
Wow! Circus americano! You must all be very famous!

Alex:
Yeah, we...

Gloria:
Absolutely.

Alex:
We're relatively well known...

Marty:
But Alex is really the star.

Alex:
Well, I'm not... I wouldn't say "star." More like... well, star.

Stefano:
What is your act, Alice?

Alex:
Well... I basically, uh, I jump up on my rock...

Gia:
Rock?

Alex:
Yeah. It's a very high... rock.

Melman:
A really high rock!

Stefano:
And then?

Alex:
And then, well, I roar like... like a serious "Rawrrr!"

Stefano:
And then?

Alex:
And then I jump off the rock.

Stefano:
And then?!

Alex:
And then... And then what?

Gia:
That is all?

Gloria:
Into a pool!

Marty:
Full of water!

Melman:
Full of cobras!

Alex:
Actually, it appears like I'm jumping in to a pool...

Melman:
With cobras!

Alex:
Aquatic cobras. For effect. But I actually pull up at the last second.

Stefano:
Pull up?

Alex:
Yeah.

Stefano:
How do you do that?!

Melman:
Wire harness!

Gloria:
Balloons!

Marty:
Jet pack!

Alex:
I flip off the wire harness, ignite my jet pack, and then toss balloons to the children of the world. Kids love it. Kids always love that.

Stefano:
Is this like the trapeze?

Alex:
Yes! Trapeze! Exactly!

Stefano:
Wow! Trapeze americano! Hey, I have a great idea! Maybe you come with us to Roma! Hey, Vitaly is just playing around. He is good, no?

Alex:
Yeah, thanks. Thanks. But we're gonna get off at the next stop so we can get back to America.

Stefano:
That is such a coincidence! Because we're going... going to... Let me finish! We're going to America, as well!

Melman:
What?!

Alex:
America?

Gloria:
Going to America?

Marty:
What?

Stefano:
Si.

Alex:
Wow? When?

Stefano:
After Roma, we go to London. And then a big-time promoter will see us and then send us to New York.

Alex:
They're going to New York!

Gia:
Well, only if he likes what he sees.

Alex:
New York? Seriously? That's our home. That's where we live.

Stefano:
Isn't that fun?

Marty:
Could we go with you?

Stefano:
Sure! You can bunk with Vitaly!

Alex:
Whoa!

Stefano:
Or not.

Vitaly:
Nyet!

Stefano:
Oh, no. I don't think Vitaly likes that idea. What's he gonna do?

Vitaly:
Which one of you is leader? [Marty points at Alex] Tell your comrades there is 1 rule we do not break!

Alex:
Thou shall say it, and not spray it?

Vitaly:
NYET! Circus owner no allow stowaways!

Skipper:
I hear you, Russki. Although, the circus owner may allow stowaways if the stowaways just happen to be the owners. [pauses]Riddle me that.

Vitaly:
What is sharply dressed little birdie talking about?

Skipper:
Show 'em, boys.

Circus Master:
You have a deal, mi amigo. I am sure this circus will bring you great success! I guess this is good-bye and good luck!

Melman:
What do we know about owning a circus?

Alex:
Nothing. But it's our only shot at getting home.

Skipper:
You better know what you're doing. You're risking Private's community college fund.

Private:
I'll never be president.

[in an Italian prison, the Comandante and two guards walk into Dubois' cell, where DuBois seems to be asleep in bed]

Comandante:
Captain Chantal DuBois, get up! You are going back to Monte Carlo under maximum security. [no response; Comandante silently orders one of the guards to uncover the sheets, revealing a bunch of pillows] What?! It's just a pillow!

Guard:
That's the oldest trick in the book, Comandante! Every Bambino in-a Italy knows-a that one!

Comandante:
[shoves the pillow into the arms of the guard] Maybe, but do the know about the old escape hole behind the innocent-looking poster?! [tears the poster off the wall, only to reveal that DuBois had drawn arrows, a kissing mark and the word "Stupido" on a mirror with lipstick] Or the really old "I'm-a gonna hide up in the ceiling" trick!? [blindly shoots at the ceiling with his gun, plaster falls and hits him on the head]

Guard:
[whistles and points to a whole under DuBois' bed]

Comandante:
Of course! The secret-a tunnel under the bed! Get this thing out of the way! [the guards move the bed, revealing the "escape tunnel"] Let's go! [as Comandante and the two guards jump into the hole, it's revealed the DuBois was really hiding in the bed as she cut a hole out with a knife] This tunnel is a dead end!

Guard:
There's nothing but bed-springs and a mattress's stuffing down here!

[DuBois leaves the cell and slams the door]

Comandante:
Was that the sound of a cell door closing?

Dubois:
Voila!

Comandante:
Was that the sound of my HP printer printing?

Gia:
Ladies and gentlemen, presenting Gia, the trapeze-flying jaguar! And there she go. The triple-flip roll with a double leap, and... What are you doing?!

Alex:
That's just paper.

Gia:
Were you spying on me?

Alex:
No! I just came by to say that I don't want you to think... l don't want you to think of me as some sort of authority figure. Don't worry. l don't.

Gia:
You don't?

Alex:
Not at all.

Gia:
Well, the other circus animals might find me a bit intimidating. No. Nobody is intimidated at all by you.

Alex:
Oh, good stuff. Good. Good news.

Gia:
In fact, I do not think they have given you a second thought since you showed up.

Alex:
That's good to hear.

Gia:
If anything, they're starting to feel sorry for you.

Alex:
OK, I get it. OK?

Gia:
Is there more?

Alex:
I just wanted to thank you for letting us get on the train back there. I know the big cat with the accent... ...wasn't so excited about us getting on.

Gia:
Look, lion guy. This circus means everything to us. And if you do anything that threatens this circus, you will have to answer to me. Capisce?

Alex:
Uh, capisce, cool. Trust me, we're cool.

Marty:
You call this laying low?

Julien:
Faster! Faster!

Dubois:
Where there is circus, there is lion, and when in Rome... Viva la France!

Policemen 3:
Halt!

Julien:
Come on, my hairy queen. We'll do doughnuts in the Pantheon.

Stefano:
There was a time when Circus Zaragoza, we were a great circus! Numero uno in all the Europa! And Vitaly... he was the biggest star of us all. He was fearless. Taking risks. Always new. He jump through the hoop like he could fly!

Vitaly:
Stefano, make the hoop smaller.

Stefano:
Like this?

Vitaly:
Smaller.

Stefano:
Like this?

Vitaly:
Good!

Stefano:
It had never been done before because it was physically impossible! And the people... they loved it!

Offstage Voices:
Viva Vitaly!

Vitaly:
Smaller!

Stefano:
And the hoop, she got smaller! Like the ring on a finger of the tiniest lady with the slimmest of fingers.

Offstage Voices:
Bravo, Vitaly!

Stefano:
He would not stop pushing. And one fateful day, he push too far!

Vitaly:
Light the hoop on fire!

Stefano:
He fly too close to the sun and he got burned, literally. The extra virgin olive oil is extra flammable. And he lost everything. His wife, she run off with a musician. He lost his dignity… his fame… his passion… and his fur. And when it grow back, it is less soft. More like a prickly beard. Scusi. Vitaly! [Vitaly growling] Nothing! His only passion now is the borscht.

Alex:
Whoa.

Stefano:
He was our inspiration. So when he lost his passion, well... as Vitaly goes, so goes the circus. This is why we need your help.

Alex:
What sort of help?

Stefano:
You can teach us to do new circus. Americano style! We find a new passion. Make a new show, and we go all the way to the US and A! (1 sec.) –A! I know. It is stupido idea. We are a lost cause.

Alex:
No, no, this isn't stupido. This could work!

Stefano:
What?

Alex:
What you just said.

Stefano:
What?

Alex:
The idea you said. 2 seconds ago.

Stefano:
What?

Alex:
Your "stupido" idea!

Stefano:
It could?

Alex:
Stefano, you're a genius!

Stefano:
No, no, no, no. I am only average intelligence. Some say I'm even slightly below.

Alex:
We are gonna rethink everything anybody's ever known about circus! l call it Phase 4-7B, wherein, in order to get home, we will come up with something fresh, something amazing, something brand-new! Fresh, never before seen! Off the chain! Something that'll blow that circus promoter away!

Stefano:
Come on, Maurice, give it to me! More broomstick, Rico! I really want to fly!

Marty:
Are you really going to shoot yourself out of that thing?

Stefano:
I've always dreamed of doing this, from time l was a little pup, to be a human cannonball! Except, you know... a sea lion cannonball.

Marty:
Is it dangerous?

Stefano:
Is it dangerous? Yes, of course it's dangerous!

Marty:
Now, are you sure about this?

Stefano:
I'm sure.

Marty:
'Cause if blowing up is your thing, then you in the right place.

Stefano:
Si. That's means yes!

Skipper:
Ready for launch?

Stefano:
Ready for launch!

Skipper:
Fire in the hole!

Stefano:
Wait! [launches towards a cliff] Mamma Mia! Help me!

Marty:
Rico! Get the cannon ready! Same charge!

Skipper:
Fire in the hole!

Marty:
All right! Yeah!

Stefano:
Marty! I'm so glad you're here.

Marty:
I was flying! I was effin'-L-Y-in'!

Stefano:
I'm proud of you, but... I don't think I can hold on much longer!

Marty:
Oh, yeah, right. Sorry about my enthusiasm. Here, wrap this around you.

Stefano:
All right, l got you! l got you!

Marty:
Forget about being part of the herd, I'm gonna be part of the flock! I'm going to fly, baby!

Stefano:
Oh, yes! What a triumph!

Melman:
[climbing on the tightrope] Dancing. All you're doing is moving and not getting anywhere. I mean, the music totally throws off my timing. You want excitement? Check it out. Who's on a tightrope, huh? Who's on a…? AAH! I'm on a tightrope! I'm on a tightrope!

Gloria:
Melman! Oh, my gosh!

Melman:
Help me!

Gloria:
Baby, hold on. Hold on. I'm coming right now! Melman?!

Melman:
Ah! Ah! Ah!

Gloria:
Calm down, Melman.

Melman:
I'm going to fall and break all of my neck!

Gloria:
Just look at me. Look at me. All eyes on me.

Melman:
OK.

Gloria:
Come to me.

Melman:
I can't.

Gloria:
It's just like dancing, Melman. Two steps forward, one step back.

Melman:
I can't dance, okay? There, I said it.

Gloria:
Maybe because you've never tried.

Melman:
No, I have tried. I practiced in private because you dance so well.

Gloria:
You practiced... for me?

Melman:
Yes, but it's no use. I never know what to do with my arms.

Gloria:
Hold it. That part is so easy, Melman. OK? 'Cause all you have to do is put them around your partner. See? Two steps forward. One step back.

Melman:
I'm dancing. I'm dancing!

Gloria:
Two steps forward...

Melman:
We're dancing on a tightrope!

Gloria:
You're great.

Melman:
I'm dancing!

Alex:
[looking at DuBois] Oh, no! She's onto us!

Skipper:
Shh! Don't make it any easier on the psycho.

Alex:
(Sorry.) What are we gonna do?

Skipper:
We'd better vamoose, pronto.

Alex:
But we're not ready. We're in the middle of rehearsals.

Skipper:
Then why don't you lilt over, grab your peduncle, and kiss New York good-bye?

Stefano:
Are you sure we are ready?

Alex:
Of course we're ready! Born ready, ready steady! Come on, let's go! Let's go, go, go, go, go!

Skipper:
All right, you heard the cat.

Alex:
Move it! Come on! All aboard!

Skipper:
Grab your luggage and drain your bladders. It's going to be a long ride!

Alex:
All right, everybody, let's blow that promoter away!

Stefano:
London, here we come!

Marty:
Sunshiny London, yes!

Kids:
Vitaly! Vitaly! Vitaly!

Skipper:
Come on, come on, come on. Where is he? Bingo! If that's not a red-blooded American promoter, I don't know what is. We need to get this show on the road.

Skipper:
Private, tell them the eagle has landed.

Private:
The eagle has landed.

Alex:
Roger that, and keep an eye out for Dubois.

Private:
Aye, aye, guvnor!

Alex:
The promoter is in the house!

Marty:
New York is closer than ever!

Alex:
Let's not get ahead of ourselves. First, we got a circus to do. We're on, folks!

Ernestina:
Do we go on before or after the dogs?

Alex:
Yes.

Esmerelda:
What?

Alex:
Overlap, your acts overlap. Where's Vitaly? He opens.

Stefano:
I don't know.

Alex:
Stefano! Hey, Stefano! Have you seen Vitaly? Hey, Stefano, why the sad little face?

Stefano:
Vitaly... He will not go on!

Alex:
What?

Stefano:
I tried everything I could.

Alex:
Shh. Wipe away the tears. Calm down. Where is he? I'm sure I can reason with him. Vitaly, what are you doing?

Vitaly:
You missed.

Alex:
You're leaving? You're just gonna walk out on everybody?

Vitaly:
They have good show without me.

Alex:
Look, I got a good left foot, but without my right foot, I can't walk.

Vitaly:
You get fake foot, then you walk.

Alex:
I don't want fake foot, okay? What happened to "circus stick together", huh? "The show must go on"?

Vitaly:
Cliches.

Alex:
Come on, man. Stop being this guy! Be the other guy!

Vitaly:
What other guy?

Alex:
The guy who was all circus, the guy who jumped through hoops! Give me that! The guy everybody looked up to. Come on! Where's that Vitaly?

Vitaly:
That Vitaly is no more.

Alex:
Listen, man. You may have given up on yourself, but your friends haven't given up on you. Are you just going to turn your back on them, and sit and eat borscht the rest of your life… or are you gonna get out there and jump through that tiny little hoop?

Vitaly:
It is impossible.

Alex:
It was always impossible, Vitaly. That's why the people loved it.

Vitaly:
That is why I loved it. Because I did the impossible! I was once a brave tiger. And if I go down in flames… so be it!

Alex:
You know, I think I might have an idea for you.

Vitaly:
Light the hoop on fire!

Stefano:
Mamma Mia, Santa Maria, Santa Maria... Mamma Maria, Mia Santa, Santa Mia Farrow...

Alex:
Come on, you got it.

Stefano:
Yes!

Alex:
All right, what are you waiting for? We got a show to put on. Let's go. Go, go, go, go, go!

Kid:
Look!

Alex:
We're going to America! Today!

Marty:
That's what I call crack-a-lackin' to the mack-a-lackin'!

Stefano:
We did it, Alice!

Alex:
Yeah!

Stefano:
Maybe I am average intelligence after all!

Alex:
Perhaps even slightly above.

Stefano:
No, I don't think so.

Vitaly:
Hair conditioner. Great idea, my friend! Feel. Go ahead. Soft like kitten, no?

Alex:
Look at that. Slippery but not flammable.

Vitaly:
You smell like peaches and herb!

Gia:
Gia and Alex, the trapezing cats!

Alex:
We did pretty good.

Gia:
You will flip, and I will catch. And sometimes I will flip, and you will catch. And then we will both flip, and we'll travel the whole world!

Gia:
Flipping and catching, and I will flip you...

Alex:
You know, the thing is... I may not always be around.

Gia:
Where are you going?

Alex:
Well, I'm... I'm... I'm...

Dubois:
Bravo, bravo! What a heartwarming performance, Monsieur Circus Master. It brought tears to my eyes. No, not really. [Alex press the phone call] Monsieur, we both know the lion does not belong to you.

Private:
It's that horrid woman!

Dubois:
He is a fugitive from justice. You will turn the lion over to me so that I may put him where he belongs... on my wall. What?

Skipper":
Incoming! Outgoing!

Dubois:
Wait!

Skipper:
Up high! Down low. Too slow. Well done, Private.

Private:
Did I do good?

Skipper:
Nah, not really.

Melman:
Man, that was close!

Alex: [singing] New York, New York It's a heck of a town

Melman:
The Bronx is up

Gloria:
But the Battery's down

All:
New York, New York

Skipper:
Kowalski, status report.

Kowalski:
So the good news is this song is almost over.

Skipper:
Well, that's music to my ears, and the bad news…?

Kowalski:
The gear assembly is badly damaged, sir. It's only a matter of time before...

Alex:
Why can't we ever just make a normal landing? Oh, man!

Gloria:
Hold on, Melman. Okay? I'll get you down, sweetie.

Mort:
Where is he? Must find King Julien. King Julien!

King Julien:
It's getting hot in here So take off all your fur I am getting so hot I want to take my fur off

Alex:
Skipper, what about the plane?

Skipper:
The chimps will work through the night. No breaks, no safety restrictions. Hey, where are you going? Get back here! We have a contract!

Mason:
Yes. Well, I'm afraid labor laws are slightly more lenient in France. You see, they only have to work 2 weeks a year.

Skipper:
Well, someone else has the Canadian work ethic!

Melman:
But you penguins, you can still fix it, right? Right?

Alex:
Yeah, yeah. You're a little crackerjack, can-do team.

Skipper:
You want me to give it to you straight?

Alex:
Yes! Yes! No. Bend it a little?

Skipper:
Well, the plane's totaled. Kaput, blammo, busted! Never to fly again.

Gloria:
So that's it? That's it then, we're never gonna get home?

Alex:
No! We've got to get home! We can fix it! We'll fix it! Yeah, guys, come on, we'll fix it! You just start from the outside pieces, and you work your way in. And, yeah, perfect! Come on! Don't just stand there, guys. Marty, drag that thingy over here, and we'll just attach it to this dealy-bob over here…

Marty:
Alex.

Alex:
And... [sighs] We're not going home. We're never going home.

Marty:
[hears sirens] It's the fuzz! What are we gonna do? We can't hide forever!

Gloria:
And we can't just blend! You know this ain't Africa.

Melman:
Oh, what's the point? Tell me one conceivable way that extra-large animals like us are gonna be able to move through Europe without attracting unwanted attention.

Alex:
Hey...

[Vitaly open the train door and growls, Alex screams]

Vitaly:
Where are you coming from?

Alex:
Please, you got to hide us. Just until the heat dies down.

Vitaly:
Absolutely no outsiders. So wipe that Smirnoff your face and Popov!

Alex:
Come on, man. You gotta do one cat a solid. Cat to cat. Do a solid here, buddy. Come on.

Vitaly:
Nyet! This train is for circus animals only.

Stefano:
They sound like they be in trouble.

Vitaly:
Stefano, we do not invite trouble into our circus. l don't trust lion. Hair too big and glossy! Aw, come on, Vitaly, you're being mean. He not lion. He lioness... with a beehive.

Alex:
This is awkward. We can hear everything they're saying.

Vitaly:
It is not our problem!

Alex:
No, no! Wait, wait, wait!

Stefano:
Just give us a minute. He's on the phone and... can't get him off! We cannot leave them there!

Vitaly:
Only circus animals on this train!

Alex:
Wait, listen! We are circus animals. You got to let us in!

Gia:
You are really circus?

Alex:
Yes. Full circus!

Marty:
My momma was circus. My daddy was circus.

Vitaly:
Gia! Shut the door!

Gloria:
Please.

Stefano:
Over there! Over there!

Gia:
They are circus. Circus stick together.

Vitaly:
I missed.

Gia:
Off with your head!

Frankie:
I'm gonna chew his leg off!

Vitaly:
Circus has been same for generations! We make good, classic family entertainment.

Stefano:
But last few generations, families... not so entertained.

Alex:
That's right. Families not so entertained because you're just going through the motions out there. It's missing passion.

Vitaly:
How one to have passion for stool poked in face?

Marty:
Exactly! And by stool you mean chair, right?

Alex:
The fact is, you guys, you got stuck in a rut. You stopped pushing, you stopped taking risks. But those days are over. Because now we're going to completely change the show.

Freddie:
Then it wouldn't be a circus, would it?

Alex:
Circus is not about the acts you do. Circus is in here.

Jonesy:
How come Freddie gets all the circus?

Alex:
Circus is about following your passions, wherever they take you!

Vitaly:
You cannot change circus. There is long tradition!

Alex:
That's what everybody thought, Vitaly, until those French Canadians came along, drunk off their maple syrup and cheap pharmaceuticals, and completely flipped the paradigm.

Marty:
Now they play Vegas. Fifty shows a day in 52 separate venues. And one of them completely in the nude.

Alex:
Yeah, that's right. And you know how they did it?

Stefano:
Take off their clothes?

Alex:
No. They got rid of the animals.

Ernestina:
What?

Marty:
Say it ain't so!

Esmerelda:
Che stupida! No animals...

King Julien:
How could they?!

Alex:
Well, you know what I say to that! I say they can take the animals out of the circus, but they cannot take the animals out of the circus! I mean, they cannot... I think you understand what I'm saying!

Gia:
Yeah!

Marty:
Yes!

Julien:
No!

Alex:
We don't need humans because we've got passion. What does a human say when he's passionate? He says, "I'm an animal!" Well, we are animals! We'll make an all-animal circus! Because if we follow our passion, we can go anywhere.

Marty:
Anywhere!

Alex:
We can do anything!

Marty:
Anything!

Alex:
If we do it together!

Marty:
All of us!

Alex:
Yeah... Yeah, yeah!

Stefano:
Our circus!

Esmerelda:
Yeah!

Freddy:
We're in! We'll have some of that!

Marty:
Can I hear you say "fur power"?

Gia:
Fur power!

Alex:
Take our circus back, and we'll do it together!

Gloria:
You and me, baby! An act together!

Melman:
I love it!

Gloria:
We can do that funk and groove dance thing!

Melman:
Dance?

Gloria:
This thing right here. Look. Me and you! We got this!

Melman:
But I can't dance.

Stefano:
Fur power! Chanting is fun! Chanting is fun!

Vitaly:
I do not trust this lion.

Gia:
Vitaly, I may not trust him, either, but I am tired of sitting and standing and rolling over.

Vitaly:
It is great tradition of sitting, standing, rolling over.

Gia:
You know our circus is in trouble. This could be our last chance. But we will not do this without you.

Stefano:
Circus always stay together.

Vitaly:
OK. I do one hoop.

Stefano:
I want a hug, too!

[Gia, Stefano, Vitaly, and the circus animals look at the paper with the words "Famous Central Park Zoo Lion Missing" and the picture of Alex on it]

Gia:
Alex, you are from a zoo?

[Alex and his friends look at them in shock]

Alex:
Yes. Yes, but wait, there's more.

Gia:
More?

Alex:
Or less. There's less.

Vitaly:
You were never circus?

Gloria:
We... We had to say we were circus.

Melman:
Or you'd never let us on the train!

Gia:
After all we have been through together, you want to go live in a zoo?

Alex:
Gia, I...

Vitaly:
You used us.

Alex:
No, no, no! I mean-I mean yes, but...

Gia:
Trapeze Americano, you make that up, too?

Alex:
It didn't exactly exist when I taught it to you.

Gia:
[angry] Ohhh! Jet packs and aquatic cobras! I should've known.

Stefano:
Balloons to the children of the world was... not real, either?

Alex:
Yeah, that's not real, but look at what we did.

Stefano:
I was shot out of a cannon! I could have died!

Marty:
But I thought it was your lifelong dream.

Stefano:
For all I know… your name is not even Alice.

Alex:
No, Stefano, but it never really was.

Stefano:
I don't feel safe! [Stefano cries in Gia's arms as Vitaly looks at Alex and his friends, feeling betrayed and Broke into Pieces]

Alex:
Gia, I...

Gia:
[To Alex and heartbroken] We trusted you.

Stefano:
My tears are real! You are not!

[Alex, Marty, Melman, and Gloria stand there in depression, feeling ashamed and Heart Broken of themselves about lying to their friends and Broke into Pieces]

Skipper:
[crying] I can't believe you lied to all us circus folk.

King Julien:
I am a king! I want to rule New York! We should talk. Whoa! Stop it! No means no! Or in your language... Not everything is solved that way, you know. Sonya? Are you listening to me? Now I'm getting the silent treatment, am I? Come over here, right now! Don't shut me out, baby! What is wrong with you? Speak! [Sonya roars at Him] OK... if these are your feelings, I understand now. And I'm going! It's obvious I'm just an emotional whoopee cushion for you to sit on! When you look for where I am, I won't be there! [As he sobs]

Jonesy:
Hand over that circus, Freddie!

Frankie:
I'll have your guts for garters!

Alex:
Hey, hey, put your weapons down. Guys, chill out. Cute and cuddly is obviously not your thing.

Frankie:
He's got us pegged.

Alex:
I got a better idea. Show 'em, Rico.

[Rico press the button]

Jonesy:
Oh, that was great!

Frankie:
Flippin' 'eck!

Freddie:
Rocket shoes! I want to try that! Jonesy! Jonesy!

Alex:
Whoo. Hey. Hi.

Gia:
I admire how you have inspired these animals.

Alex:
Thanks.

Gia:
And what you said about passion, it was like poetry.

Alex:
I love passion and poetry. They go together, really. I know they don't rhyme.

Gia:
Trapeze is my passion!

Alex:
Terrific. I look forward to seeing you up there.

Gia:
You can teach me!

Alex:
What?

Gia:
Teach me.

Alex:
Well, I've always been kind of a solo act. So that kind of rules that out.

Gia:
I wonder if you actually do trapeze.

Alex:
Oh, l actually do do trapeze.

Gia:
Show me!

Alex:
"Show me"? What are we, five?

Gia:
I am five, yes.

[Alex stammers, sighs]

[Gia, Vitaly, and Stefano hang their heads missing the Zoosters when Julien staggers in]

Julien:
Sonya baby! I don't wanna be king anymore. What really matters is what we smell like together! Forgive me?

[Sonya places Julien in her mouth]

Julien:
Hello?

Kowalski:
[grabs a tranquilizer dart from Julien's tail] GASP! It's DuBois!

Skipper:
Baba booey! [turns to Julien] Where'd you get this?

Julien:
I got it from the zoo!

Skipper:
The hippies got ambushed!

Gia:
What?! We have to help them!

Esmeralda:
But they lied to us.

Jonesy:
Yeah, why should we lend a paw?

Gia:
They are our friends!

Jonesy:
They're not even circus!

Vitaly:
That's Bolshevik!

[The dogs are now convinced]

Skipper:
I'd never thought I'd say this on American soil, but the Russki's right!

[Alex, Marty, Gloria and Melman wake up back in their zoo enclosures]

Alex:
Oh, no.

Marty:
Alex? Where are you?

Gloria:
What is happening?

Melman:
Gloria, Are you okay?

Mayor:
The king of New York City...

Marty:
Alex!

Alex:
No, no, no!

Mayor:
...Alex the Lion!

[Alex runs onto his cement rock, the crowd cheers outside his enclosure. Alex turns and looks at Marty, Gloria and Melman]

Mayor:
Thank you, thank you all for coming to this special celebration. And now, the woman who made this all possible, who brought Alex the Lion and a couple of... 3? 3 other animals back to New York, and she's French. Ooh-la-lah. Please welcome Chantel DuBois!

[Walking onto the stage, DuBois smirks at Alex. His eyes widen. DuBois steps behind the podium, her Animal Control officers standing at attention behind her. The mayor presents DuBois with a oversized check for a million dollars. She rips the check in half, then drops it to the ground. Looking downward, DuBois opens a small briefcase, then pulls out a dart with a skull and crossbones on it!]

Marty:
Alex!

[Alex watches in horror as DuBois picks up the poison dart, drops it into her gun, then places the gun inside a giant foam hand. She taps the microphone]

DuBois:
It was never about the money. It was about... [she holds up the foam hand] ...the lion.

[DuBois points the hand at Alex. Alex raises his arms. DuBois fires! As the dart sails toward Alex, Gia swings in and pulls him out of the way, and the dart hits a streetlamp]

Alex:
Gia?

Gia:
Circus stick together.

[Alex grins]

Marty:
Da-da da-da-da-da-da-da, circus Da-da da-da-da-da-da-da, Afro Circus Afro, Circus Afro Polka dot, polka dot, polka dot, Afro! :Spectator: Look! A flying circus!

Dubois:
No!

Skipper:
Operation Afro-Circus Rescue... engage!

Private:
Aye, aye, Skipper!

Skipper:
Unleash the seal.

Stefano:
I am a sea lion!

Skipper:
Whatever. Two tons of fun. Dive, dive, dive!

Melman:
Let's rock.

Gloria:
You and me, baby!

Marty:
Wow!

Vitaly:
Suck in that gut!

Marty:
I am impressed!

Skipper:
Mission accomplished. Now let's get out of here!

Stefano:
Wait! Wait for me!

Alex:
Stefano!

Stefano:
Don't leave without me!

[Dubois and growls, Grab snake and run]

Alex:
Oh, no!

[Stefano screams and runs. Dubois chases after Stefano]

Gia:
Go, Stefano! Climb! [Vitaly makes stairs for Stefano using blades]

Vitaly:
Come on, my friend! [DuBois catches him and yanks him back down to the ground] Stefano!

Stefano:
Help me!

Dubois:
I will have your head!

Stefano:
Oh, no! Help me!

Gia:
Alex!

Alex:
Marty! Shoot me a line.

Marty:
You got it. Afro, don't fail me now!

Gia:
What are you doing?

Alex:
We are doing trapeze americano.

Gia:
Let's do it!

Alex:
Frankie, Jonesy! Be ready!

Jonesy:
You got it, boss!

Alex:
Go, go, go!

[Mort grabs the gun, laughing]

Alex:
Gia! Take Stefano!

Gia:
Alex!

Stefano:
Aquatic cobras!

Dubois:
If I am goin' down, your head is coming with me!

Alex:
I don't think so! [whistles]

Jonesy:
Oi, Let's go! [he and Frankie blast off]

Alex:
You're going down, but not with my head! [the dogs pick Alex up and blast up before he lands in the penguin habitat]

Stefano:
Jet pack, he pull up!

Alex:
Your days of chasing animals are over, DuBois, because you just messed with the KING! [throws DuBois to his caged habitat and DuBois roars angrily over her defeat, as the spectators cheer.] This is where animals like you belong! Now sit! [DuBois gets shot in the head with a dart. She falls to her knees] Lie down. [DuBois lies down, revealing Maurice and Mort; Mort is holding the gun]

Mort:
[laughs] Naughty me!

Alex:
Roll over. [DuBois rolls over off the rock] Good DuBois. Now stay!

Gia:
We did it!

[Gia and Alex smiles]

Stefano:
Balloons to the children of the world! Trapeze Americano!

Vitaly:
It is real.

Stefano:
It's real!

Maurice:
That's how you do it!

Stefano:
So, you want to run away with the circus?

Alex:
Live a life of adventure?

Gloria:
Full of romance?

Melman:
And danger!

Marty:
Really living!

Stefano:
What do you say?

Marty:
[singing] Ra da da-da-da-da da circus! Da da da-da-da-da-da da Afro circus! Afro circus! Afro! Polka-dot, polka-dot, polka-dot Afro!

[Marty and Julien do their mash-up dance routine with "I Like To Move It" and "Afro Circus" while Gloria, Melman, Alex and the circus animals celebrate their victory]

Alex:
Hey, Skipper, what did you end up doing with the crazy lady anyway?