Roswell

Max:
What happened?

Michael:
It's over.

Max:
What? My Dad found something, what?

Michael:
No, it's not that. I saw Maria and what's-his name, Billy, together.

Max:
Together as in together?

Michael:
Worse.

Max:
What could be worse?

Michael:
They were singing together.

Max:
So you're jealous?

Michael:
I'm not jealous! [Makes a lamp exoplode] My powers are slightly out of whack.

Max:
Out of whack?

Michael:
I've been blowing things up all day.

Isabel:
Did you forget something?

Jesse:
Yeah, my balls. [Max and Michael laughs] Were you guys just talking about me?

Isabel:
That's a little paranoid, don't you think? I mean the whole world doesn't revolve around you.

Max:
It revolves around Michael.

Michael:
That's a fact.

Michael:
Whoever sent us down here was smart, you know? Because they sent us together, and as long as we stick together, we're gonna make it.

Isabel:
Happy birthday, Isabel. I'm 18 today, Mother. October 25th. At least that's the day we've always celebrated as my birthday. But you're the only one who really knows the real day. I guess that's why I came to the place, the only place I've ever seen you. I hold on to that day, but you disappeared, and the picture of you is already fading, and it's all I had. I was so happy because you were beautiful and warm, and I even thought I looked like you. But it wasn't you. Not really. God, I don't know what you look like. Maybe I'll never know. It isn't fair. It isn't fair. I need you. I need you. Where are you? Oh, God, it's my birthday and we should be together. Why... How could you leave us? How could you tell us those important information about destinies and saving the world and then just disappear? Oh, God. I... I killed a person. An... an enemy? An... an alien? Does that make it okay? Oh, God. What was she talking about? What was she talking about? She said I betrayed my family. Is it true? Oh, is it true? Am I a terrible person? Answer me. Answer me! [screams] Come on, Answer me!

Max:
If I can have everyone's attention, please. I'm Max Evans, the bestman. Isabel and I, uh, well, I'm sure you all know the story, how they found us. Little kids wandering around in the desert. No one knew where we came from, or where we belonged. We didn't know anything either, who are parents were, how we got there. All we had was each other. Two people took us in, gave us names, made us part of their family, something I'll always - will always - be grateful for. Growing up I was always - I always felt very protective over my baby sister. Always tried to look out for her [laughs]. I guess... what I've come to realize is that she doesn't need me anymore to protect her, she's too strong for that. So, uh, [holds up his champagne glass] to Jesse. Welcome to the family. I think you'll find it's going to be an interesting experience. And to Isabel, I love you. I trust you. And I wish you all the happiness in the world. To Jesse and Isabel.

Micheal:
No. The bottom line Maxwell, I kill people. I kill people, you heal them. [Maria walks over] You're good, and I'm bad.

Max:
It's not true, Michael.

Micheal:
Just get out of here.

Maria:
What are you talking about?

Micheal:
It's not safe.

Maria:
It's never been safe. What difference does it make now?

Isabel:
It is all about trust Max. God, do you really think that I would marry someone that I didn't even know? Someone who might be secretly working for the FBI or even [gasps] an alien. Don't you think that I have walked through is dreams a few times? And that maybe I checked on his alien status A LONG TIME AGO. God, Max. The irony here is that I trusted you. I trusted you to stand up at my wedding with my whole family there. I trusted you to be there for me. And you weren't.

Jesse:
[Isabel is shot] Oh, my God. Have you called an ambulance?

Michael:
No, no, no, no, no!

Jesse:
Well, what's wrong with you?

Michael:
Hey, no ambulance, no hospital.

Jesse:
She'll die, you idiot! [Jesse punches Michael in the face] What the hell is wrong with you?

Michael:
Hey, you can't take her to the hospital, you can't!

Jesse:
Why? Tell me why.

Michael:
Because your wife isn't human. Okay? Understand that? Your wife is not human.

Jesse:
Stop the crap!

Valenti:
Ramirez! Look. [Electricity is sparking all over Isabel's hand] It's true, Jesse. I know you don't wanna accept it, but it's true. She's not human.

Jesse:
What?

Michael:
She's alien. We both are.

Maria:
So, do you get hungry just like the rest of us?

Isabel:
The perfect Liz Parker lying to her mother?

Liz:
Yeah, well, at least my parents know what species I am.

Michael:
[pointing to the hotel bed] I don't suppose we could share?

Maria:
Not if you were the last alien on Earth.

Maria:
Come on. Wiggle your nose, blink your eyes. Do your Samantha/Jeannie/alien thing.

Michael:
I can't.

Maria:
Why not? If there was ever a time to have a secret power, this is it.

Maria:
You kidnap me and blow up my car and you expect me to spend the night with you in here?

Michael:
Not exactly my fantasy evening either.

Isabel:
[to Liz] Your favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla?

Liz:
We thought you were in trouble. I guess we were wrong.

Maria:
No, no. You don't think, I mean that is like so unreal. Come on,

[kicking Michael]

Maria:
would you tell them?

Michael:
Come on honey. We don't have to lie.

Isabel:
I believe you. The day Michael calls anyone honey, it's all over.

Maria:
It's like the porno version of "Aladdin."

[Michael is fixing up a bumper for Maria's christmas gift. Isabel comes in with her arms full of presents]

Michael:
It's a bumper. For a Jetta.

Isabel:
Hmmm. How did what I said yesterday result in this?

Michael:
It meets all your criteria. It's personal, because I personally know what a bug she has up her ass about how much we screwed up her car. It's thoughtful, because I had to go to the junkyard and get it, and it's something she would never get herself for the obvious reason that her bumper's been hanging from a string for the past half-year.

Isabel:
Ok, Michael. This is what I'm gonna do. I am going to take the Christmas dog show off my calendar and take you shopping and rectify this situation.

Michael:
No. I'm not gonna get obsessed over this present. This is fine. I'm not gonna make everyone else around me miserable.

Isabel:
What are you saying? That I get obsessed and make everyone around me miserable?

Michael:
[quickly] I didn't say that.

Michael:
[about Isabel] All hail the Christmas Nazi.

Michael:
What's that stench? Is that you?

Maria:
I don't have a stench.

Max:
Might be your perfume.

Michael:
It smells like road kill.

Maria:
It's 50 bucks an ounce, man.

Michael:
That stuff stinks.

Maria:
You know, you're an ass, man.

Maria:
Who still wants to find a party?

Liz:
Oh, I think that might be this guy right here.

Maria:
Oh, Max, the chaperone thing, really, it's getting old and it's completely unnecessary right now.

Max:
All right, that's it. I'm going to that party. Wish me luck.

Liz:
Good luck.

Max:
Let's go. Party train is leaving.

Maria:
Is he serious?

Liz:
Very.

Kyle:
Look I got a college girls phone number, I'm way ahead of the game. And you got to know when to hold them, and...

Isabel:
When to fold them.

Kyle:
And when to walk away.

Both:
[sing-song] And know when to run.

[about Micheal]

Maria:
You should have seen him standing there all brave and noble. It was enough to make you fall in love with him all over again.

Max:
Yeah, well, I have to live with him, that's enough.

Kyle Valenti:
Ok, but I'm warning you, I'm a man on a mission. Sex or death so don't get in my way and don't cramp my style.

Isabel Amanda Evans:
You have style?

Kyle Valenti:
Heyyy!

Kyle:
[Talking to the Buddha statue] Thank you. Now that my immortal soul has been cleansed on to more terrestrial concerns. It's been a dry couple years. Kyle needs a woman. Kyle needs her badly. Kyle needs her tonight.

[Hears a knocking on the door]

Kyle:
Well, thank you. But if that's a Jehovah's Witness, I'm coming back here.

Valenti:
You remember I told you about a man who was protecting Tess?

Kyle:
Yeah. Noriega.

Valenti:
Nasedo.

Kyle:
Yeah.

Max:
It's not that I dislike you.

Tess:
You don't have to spare my feelings. Nasedo taught me not to get wrapped up in... this. It's not really who I am. I'm not human. Neither are you.

Max:
It's the only life I've ever known.

Tess:
That's not true. You lived another life, Max... a life completely different from this one... a life when you loved me.

Max:
I don't remember that.

Tess:
I do.

Tess:
Kind of uptight about nudity, aren't you, for a guy who reads Jugs?

Kyle:
Give me that.

Tess:
Oh... the post-its? Nice touch.

Max:
I'm not involved with Tess.

Maria:
Just taking midnight strolls with her?

Max:
You saw us?

Maria:
Yeah. *We* saw you... as in, Liz and I saw you together. Looked like a pretty romantic evening to me. Maybe a little patty-cake on the front porch before you said good night?

Max:
No. It's just... it's a long story.

Maria:
Oh, well, I certainly don't want to hear a long story unless there's a Kennedy involved.

Max:
I love Liz.

Maria:
I know you love Liz, Max. You've been telling me that the entire summer. But now that she's back, I'm the one who's doing all the work here.

Kyle:
My strength fails. My vitality exhausted. I cannot find the bull. I only hear the locusts chirring through the night.

Maria:
Yes, yes. You're trying to figure out how to be a leader. All right. Here's a little insight. JFK. He's not so great. Cheated on his wife with tramps. Ohhhh... now there's something you and Jack have in common. You're both involved with tramps. How is Tess, by the way?

Tess:
Buddhism for Beginners is also under your bed. How do you think the Buddha would feel about being sandwiched between Hustler and Busty Biker Babes?

Jim:
You okay?

Kyle:
Yeah. I just... I'm just not looking forward to dealing with all the little green men again.

Jim:
Well, listen, maybe you should... maybe you should cut 'em a little slack, Kyle. I mean, after all, Max Evans did save your life.

Kyle:
Damn human of him. Of course, he is the reason I got shot in the first place, but what the hell. No conditions are permanent. No conditions are reliable. Nothing is self.

Max:
Abduction?

Brody:
Yeah, I know. I hate the word, too. I mean, you can tell people you've seen the Virgin Mary and they'll light candles outside your bathroom, but you tell 'em you've been abducted by aliens and they'll write you off as a lunatic. It happened to me seven years ago. I was driving my car down the Massachusetts Turnpike, and before you know it, I'm in the room and they're doing... something to me, and then I'm back in my car and two days have gone by, and I'm in West Virginia. I would have written the entire thing off as an acid flashback. Then my doctor told me the cancer was gone. It was bone marrow. Terminal. A year to live and poof... it's gone.

Max:
And you're trying to re-establish contact with the aliens?

Brody:
I have to.

Kyle:
You know my... my father does consider this to be a very temporary arrangement. You understand that?

Tess:
Sure.

Kyle:
All right. So in that case, I just wanted to tell you that I moved all my crap out of the room. You can have it. I'll sleep on the couch or something.

Tess:
You didn't have to.

Kyle:
It's not a big deal. Uh, material possessions only clutter the mind anyway.

Tess:
You tell 'em, Buddha-boy.

Tess:
Morning.

Kyle:
Yes, morning. What the hell are you doing here?

Tess:
I live here. Calvin Klein? I approve.

Courtney Banks:
Cover me?

Maria:
What else is new?

[Courtney goes into the bathroom, rips a layer of skin off her face and flush it down the toilet]

Max:
Michael. The idea that Alex might have died just because we're here... I can't bear it. All those times you would run off chasing some clue to find out where we come from. Why we're here. Where we belong. I always thought you were chasing something that wasn't out there, because in my heart, I believed that we belonged here, you know? That we were human. Lately, I've been thinking that you might have been right all along.

Micheal:
Lately, I've been thinking I might have been wrong all along.

Max:
Morning. You-you're going for a run? That must be up to five to six miles by now.

[Isabel ignores him]

Max:
Look, I know you're still mad and everything, but uh, I-I really need someone to talk to.

[Isabel sits in front of him, glaring at him]

Max:
Well, it's not easy to say, but uh, especially to my sister, but uh, you know that Tess and I have been giving a long and kind of cross and last night, we... things... something came up between us... something happened.

Isabel:
You slept with her?

Max:
Yeah.

Isabel:
[sarcastically] Wow. Congratulations, Max. You lost your virginity.

[she unenthusiastically applauds]

Max:
Is...

Isabel:
Oh, gee, I'm sorry. Were you looking for some sort of comfort or sympathy before you went off and washed her dried sweat from your body? Or hey, did you guys do it in the shower?

Max:
Forget it.

Isabel:
His majesty will now retire to his room!

Max:
We didn't plan it, all right? It just happened. I'm feeling a little weird about it right now and... I'm just hoping...

Isabel:
You were wrong. I don't care about your morning after anxieties, or your delicate feelings. Because my feelings sure as hell don't matter to you.

Michael:
Where are you going?

Maria:
Santa Fe.

Michael:
Maria, where are you going?

Maria:
Michael.

Michael:
Liz doesn't want us to know because she and Max are at war, so here's the thing: I'm not going to tell Max, but I need to know, because if wherever you're going turns out to be dangerous, I'm sure as hell gonna be there to protect you. So, where are you going?

Tess:
I want to start planning our future. I just wonder if that future is gonna be in Roswell.

Max:
You want to go somewhere else?

Tess:
I always thought the ultimate plan was to go home. Our real home.

Max:
It is. Someday. But we don't know when that's gonna be. I think we had enough to deal with the in here and now. Don't you?

[about the baby]

Michael:
Maxwell, if this thing comes out green with four fingers and three eyes, that puts a major crimp in our 'hide in plain site' strategy.

Micheal:
You mean you and Tess actually had...

Max:
Hot alien sex. Yes.

Micheal:
How was it?

Max:
Well, it was probably a lot like human sex, except the point of culmination.

Max:
[to Isabel about Tess' pregnancy] She's pregnant, and the baby's dying because it can't live in this atmosphere. [Isabel sits down next to Max, shocked] And I don't know what to do, because... I'm so scared. And I don't know what to tell Mom and Dad, because I... It's like what would I even tell them? They don't know who I really am. I feel so irresponsible, and stupid, and... I know this is supposed to happen, because it's our destiny.

Isabel:
Do you remember Bigfoot?

Max:
My guinea pig?

Isabel:
Yeah. Do you remember what happened?

Max:
Sure. Mr. Martinelli's dog got into his cage and killed him.

Isabel:
Do you remember what happened the next day?

Max:
I don't. [Isabel waves her hand so it starts snowing] It snowed...

Isabel:
It was the first time we'd ever seen it. It snowed for two days. Biggest storm to hit Roswell in a century. It was a disaster for everyone but us.

Max:
We built snowmen.

Isabel:
We made angels.

Max:
And pelted Michael with snowballs. [they laugh]

Isabel:
It was magic.

Max:
Just like this.

[last lines]

Isabel:
[about the transcription of the book] What does it say?

Max:
It's the way home... We can go home.

[Max, Michael and Isabel look at each other, standing in the snow]

Max:
We still need your healing stone.

Michael:
I think it's at Maria's.

Max:
You think it's at Maria's?

Michael:
Yeah, I don't know. Most likely.

Max:
I bet if it was one of your Metallica CDs, you'd know where it was.

Michael:
Hey, you wanna bring that up again? The reason I got pissed is because you put "And Justice For All" before "Master of the Puppets".

Max:
Yeah, in alphabetical order.

Michael:
They go in order of the release date.

Max:
And you don't know where your healing stone is?

Michael:
Do you still wanna sleep on my couch?

Liz:
Everything is going to be fine between you and Maria. Trust me.

Michael:
She cooked him Italian food last night.

Liz:
Oh.

Michael:
I knew it. It's a problem.

Liz:
No, it's not a problem. It's just, um, it's food.

Michael:
No, Liz. It's Italian food.

Liz:
Michael, please don't do anything stupid. Or alien! Or both! Please!

Max:
I saw the board in your office. I know what you're doing.

Philip:
And what am I doing?

Max:
It's isn't right to spy on your own son.

Philip:
I'm not spying. I'm trying to figure out what's going on. Is my concern for you a threat?

Max:
Do I threaten you?

Philip:
You frighten me, Max. I don't think I know who you are anymore. I'm beginning to think I've never known.

Max:
I'm your son.

Philip:
With secrets. My biggest fear is that they're terrible secrets, that you're in trouble, and I can't help.

Max:
You can't help because I'm not in trouble.

Philip:
Not in trouble? Max, if it wasn't for me you'd be rotting in jail right now. I put my reputation on the line for you and I still don't know why.

Maria:
Do we have a problem?

Michael:
No, we don't. I do.

Maria:
How can I help?

Michael:
Be patient with me.

Maria:
Always.

Michael:
Don't say it like that, like I'm a kid.

Maria:
That's not what I meant. What are you worried about? Really. What can I do?

Michael:
Tell your friend to leave. He shouldn't be here. It's not a good time.

Maria:
Not a good time? Let me ask you a question, Michael.

Michael:
Here we go.

Maria:
No, don't do that.

Michael:
You ask 'What can I do?' and I tell you.

Maria:
When is it a good time?

Michael:
To step out with an old boyfriend?

Maria:
He is not an old- Would you just-?

Michael:
Where's your patience now?

[to Maria, who in becoming a singer, will lose Micheal]

Liz:
Maybe sometimes, you have to go after your dreams. But who am I to tell you to just give him up, because without your dreams, you're just me.

Maria:
Nothing ever changes.

Liz:
Maybe you don't really want anything to change.

Maria:
Maybe. Or maybe neither one of us is strong enough or crazy enough to break the cycle.

Michael:
It's a pretty busy night, huh?

Liz:
Mm-hmm.

Michael:
How much money do you think we pull in on a night like tonight?

Liz:
Do you know that you really suck at small talk? Why don't you just tell Dr. Parker what's on your mind.

Michael:
Okay, tell me, do I need to be worried about this Billy guy?

Liz:
No, you don't. He's completely harmless.

Michael:
But you think he's good-looking, right?

Liz:
Well, yeah, if you like that sort of thing, I guess.

Michael:
The good-looking sort of thing?

Liz:
Michael.

Michael:
Do you really think he missed his bus?

Liz:
Yes, I do. Haven't you ever missed a bus before?

Michael:
No, because I don't take the bus. And I don't write songs. And I don't cook with freaking half-and-half! [makes the salt containers explode]

Liz:
Hey, Michael!

Michael:
Sorry, my powers are out of control.

Announcer:
What's running through your mind right now?

Liz:
Yeah, nothing I can say on live radio.

DJ:
Well, hey, hold on there, dream girl. You're not gonna get off so easy. I mean, look at these guys. You got 'em hanging on by a string, and I think you owe it to them, and the KROZ listeners, to make a choice here and now. Will it be Doug, the dream man we chose for you... the ex-boyfriend, Lyle... Or Max, who kidnapped you, and vandalized your home? What do you have to say for yourselves, men?

Kyle:
[Drunk] Hey, I'm just happy to be nominated... and I think I'm gonna puke.

Doug:
[on his blind date with Liz] I thought she just wanted a normal date.

Liz:
This can never be normal, Max.

Max:
What's so great about normal?

Liz:
You know, you need a better name.

Alex:
Oh, come on. What's wrong with "The Whits"?

Maria:
Just an S away from what you really are.

Max:
[Max and Kyle are drunk] We're gonna win her back.

Kyle:
We are?

Max:
We're gonna show her how we feel about her, and she's gonna forget all about Mr. Shallow and come back to us.

Kyle:
Shellow.

Max:
Come on.

Kyle:
Well, how do we split her up, exactly? Every other week? Mondays? Wednesdays? Fridays? Alternate Saturdays?

Liz Parker:
LIZ: Max! Max, please. We have to stop. Please, we have to stop.

Max:
MAX: Let's just keep running, you and me, away from here, away from everything. I see everything so clearly now. We'll go someplace where no one knows us. As long as we're together, nothing else matters.

Liz Parker:
LIZ: You're drunk. Nothing that you're saying is true.

Max:
MAX: It's all true, Liz. It's how I really feel. It's all just magic when I think about you. [Max touches a lamp post and causes the light to shine in a pattern]

Liz Parker:
LIZ: Max, turn it off. Anyone can see.

Max:
MAX: And when I'm not with you... I go crazy. [Max touches a car and the car alarm goes off]

Liz Parker:
LIZ: Max.

Max:
MAX: When you're here...

Liz Parker:
LIZ: Oh, Max. Please.

Max:
MAX: You're my dream girl, Liz.

Liz Parker:
LIZ: And what if I believe you tonight?

Max:
MAX: Then we live happily ever after.

Liz Parker:
LIZ: And then what about tomorrow... when you go back to realizing who you really are, and all of your fantasies go away.

Max:
MAX: I'll still have you.

Liz Parker:
LIZ: This can never be normal, Max. [Max touches the tops of some parking meters, and they start sparkling]

Max:
MAX: What's so great about normal?

Max:
I think we need to talk.

Alex:
About what?

Max:
About what you did for me at the hospital.

Alex:
Yeah, what... was that? I'd like to know.

Max:
You saved my life.

Alex:
Yeah, well, you screwed up mine.

Maria:
This is the second time you've dragged me into some cheap motel.

Michael:
Yeah, well, don't spread it around; you'll ruin my reputation.

Maria:
How long is this going to last, us waiting out here like this?

Michael:
Why? You got a date?

Maria:
Maybe.

Isabel:
You know, I'm the one that should be complaining stuck out here with you two.

Liz:
Maybe you could stay for dinner. You know, Blue Moon burger, Saturn rings and a Mercury milkshake for $3.99.

Max:
Sounds tempting.

Maria:
Clear as a bell, no mistake, that's right. Miss Topolsky, all American guidance counselor and big, fat liar.

Michael:
Never trust a blonde.

Michael:
Stick a fork in us, Maxwell, we're done.

Max:
Liz told him we were into drugs, just to get him to stop asking questions.

Isabel:
Great. That will be a lot easier to explain to Mom and Dad.

Alex:
Ok, all right. You are going to tell me exactly what has been going on with Max and Topolsky and the actual FBI or I swear, Liz, this is the end of you and me being friends.

Liz:
No Alex, don't say things...

Alex:
What? Something that I won't go through with? Liz, I'm not kidding. All right? Now either you tell me the truth, or I walk.

Liz:
Alex, I can't.

Liz:
Have you ever had a moment when you're with the one person in the world you want to be with and the wind is blowing through your hair and the song that just describes your entire soul happens to come on, and then the person that you want to be with happens to love the same song and suddenly you realize you're listening to it together? And that no matter how crazy your life has gotten there's this one moment... this perfect moment... where you could just say that no matter what happens, nothing can take this moment away from me... And then, something does.

Maria:
I need your help.

Alex:
[to his audience while he holds his arm around Maria] Okay, I'm making a point here. The point here is, the musicians get the ladies.

Maria:
Relax! God, you guys act like I've never tailed anyone before. [she has trouble starting her car. When she does, she goes a couple of feet in reverse]

Isabel:
Well, he'll never notice us going backwards.

Student:
[noticing Alex is bleeding from his nose] Tough game at dodgeball, Whitman?

Alex:
Yeah, sure. Why not.

Phillip Evans:
I need you to tell me why.

Max:
I can't ever tell you the truth. Please, don't make me lie to you.

Phillip Evans:
I'm sorry, son, silence is not acceptable. And neither is a lie. Not after what we've just been through. No, not under my roof.

Max:
I can respect that. I just want to thank you for helping Liz. I'll always appreciate that. I'll come by home to pack my things. Goodbye, Dad.

Max:
Liz, I just want to put everything that happened behind us.

Liz:
Yeah, you know I would too if I had impregnated an alien killer who had murdered one of our best friends and then left the planet with my unborn child.

Max:
So, you're still holding on to that?

Michael:
Now if I'm gonna have a chance of graduating this year I need to get into your Bio 101 class.

Mr. Seligman:
Why didn't you come to my Bio 101 class when you were in it?

Michael:
I'm turning over a new leaf.

Mr. Seligman:
Excuse me while I take a moment to chuckle within.

Isabel:
I wish this could all be out in the open.

Jesse:
I'm still not sure why it can't be.

Isabel:
Well, there's the fact that you're 26 and I'm barely legal.

Jesse:
You're an old soul. And you have clearly lived before.

Isabel:
You have no idea.

Liz:
Since I told her that you broke my heart - without any of the alien details, of course - she thinks that we should just take things slow. Just dinner, then straight home, no plans for future dates. No making out.

Max:
So I suppose skinny dipping would be against the rules, too.

Maria:
[to herself as she pulls up in the car] Why can't these aliens ever get in trouble somewhere decent? Like Graceland or Tahoe or New Orleans. No, Utah. Mormons and mountains.

Max:
I don't know if I could live with myself if anything ever happened to you.

Liz:
Max, you're an alien king. What could ever happen to me?

Liz:
No, I don't want to tell Max. Not yet.

Kyle:
But he's the one that healed us. He needs to know.

Liz:
I'm scared to tell him.

Kyle:
Why? You go to him for everything.

Liz:
No, he risked so much when he healed me. It's what made me fall in love with him.

Kyle:
Yeah, me too.

Liz:
Kyle!

Kyle:
Look, what's going on here is really scary. If I don't lighten the mood I might loose it.

Liz:
Just stop hurting me.

Max:
I wasn't trying to.

Liz:
No, but, Max, you do. You always do. Why did you sleep with her? Why?

Max:
Liz.

Liz:
Every single time you mention your son I am reminded of what you did to me. How you were unfaithful. How can you not know that?

Kyle:
Let the record show, I think this is a bad idea.

Liz:
Noted.

Maria:
I have no where else to go.

Micheal:
[turns to her] You've got plenty of other friends.

Maria:
Like who? Liz? I've tried to talk to her, she hasn't been around.

Micheal:
Do you even know what's going on with her?

Maria:
Yeah, she's pissy and preoccupied and doesn't return my phone calls.

Micheal:
She might be dying, Maria.

Maria:
What?

Kyle:
[Watching his dad and Maria sing a duet] Gotta wash my eyes.

Liz:
How are you doing?

Kyle:
Oh I've got no symptoms yet. You know Max healed me a year after he healed you so maybe I've got this totally cool window of time where I just get to obsess about it.

Liz:
Lucky you.

Liz:
[when she thinks she's turning into an alien after Max heals her] You healed me, and now I'm different.

Mr. Seligman:
Mr. Evans? Miss Parker? Is there a problem in your corner of teen angst?

Maria:
Repeat after me. I'm sorry Maria.

Liz:
I'm sorry Maria.

Maria:
Okay. You're forgiven.

Liz:
But I want to know what I did that I'm sorry for.

Maria:
Let it go. I have.

Maria:
Yeah, you had a lot to drink.

Liz:
I should probably go take a shower.

Maria:
I'm forced to agree.

Liz:
Voil?. M&M-Tabasco-swirl cookies. I came up with the recipe all by myself.

Maria:
A care package. Max is so spoiled, man.

Liz:
No, he is not.

Maria:
Liz, he hasn't been gone more than a week.

Liz:
Could you just let me finish? Because he's calling in less than an hour.

Maria:
Really?

Liz:
Uh-huh.

Maria:
Are you guys gonna talk or just breathe heavy into the phone? Or are you gonna repeat each other's names back and forth, and back and forth?

Liz:
Stop it!

Isabel:
Why is it that you feel that you are above doorbells?

Michael:
Got your message. Is it a joke?

Isabel:
No, I'm getting married.

Michael:
We agreed not to bring anyone else into this.

Isabel:
Michael, I don't want to put my life on hold. This is my one chance to be happy, to love someone and have him love me back without all of this garbage that has made us miserable our whole lives getting in the way. I've put a lot of thought into it and I don't see any reason to why Jesse has to know the truth.

Michael:
Well, knowing what I know about alien sex he's gonna have questions after the honeymoon.

Isabel:
OKay, Michael, get out of my room.

Michael:
What did Max say?

Isabel:
I'm going to tell him when he gets back. Come on, Michael, just congratulate me.

Michael:
On what?

Max:
You can't kill me, can you? You've had so many chances. Utah. Yesterday in the film vault. But you can't, because you're my protector. Get as mad as you want, but get one thing straight: I am not going anywhere until you help me.

Isabel:
[Answers the phone] Hello?

Max:
So you think you're getting married?

Isabel:
How did you, how did you find that out?

Max:
Mom tracked me down. Isabel, you've only known this guy for a month.

Isabel:
Four months and don't call him 'this guy'.

Max:
Either way, I don't see the urgency.

Isabel:
You know what? I'm not going to have this conversation with you on the phone.

Max:
Look, just don't make any more plans until I get back.

Isabel:
Stop it! I am not a child.

Max:
Yeah, well, you're acting like one.

Isabel:
[Hangs up]

Kal:
I destroyed my life for you tonight. All for nothing. Because of you everything I've worked for is gone.

Max:
Kal.

Kal:
That's how you've always been, Your Majesty. Selfish and ungrateful. Being your protector might be encoded in my genes but after tonight I'll never stop hating you.

Michael:
What's going on with your mom?

Isabel:
I'm getting married in two weeks and she told me she wanted nothing to do with the wedding. I'm all alone in this, Michael. Do you have any idea how that feels? Max found out the other day. You can imagine what his reaction was. That's why I wanted- I just- I needed you to congratulate me the other night. Can you be on my side just this once?

Michael:
Isabel, you don't care what I think.

Isabel:
How can you say that?

Michael:
Because if you did, then you wouldn't have had Maria break the news.

Isabel:
I'm sorry. That was stupid. I just- I was afraid you would freak out, and I didn't think that I could handle it, so- I'm sorry. I know that you're worried about Jesse but I'm going to keep him safe.

Michael:
I hope you can.

Isabel:
Michael, your opinion means as much to me as Max's. You're like a brother to me too.

Michael:
So in two weeks?

Isabel:
Less than, actually.

Michael:
Congratulations, Isabel.

Isabel:
Thank you.

Liz:
When did you get back?

Max:
Just now.

Liz:
You didn't call.

Max:
I was driving all night. I just had to get back to see you. I- I'm sorry.

Liz:
Can't do this, Max. I love you, but you know, lately I just haven't been feeling it back.

Max:
I didn't mean to...

Liz:
Well, you did.

Max:
Liz, I know you've been here alone, waiting for me, and- And I've- It was wrong.

Liz:
No, Max. What, Max? What happened?

Max:
I failed and my son, he's up there somewhere. I've just messed everything up. Langley's life. Yours. I'm so sorry, Liz. I'm so sorry.

Liz:
It's okay. It's okay.

Max:
I'll never leave you, Liz.

Kal Langley:
Think of all the loved ones you almost left behind. Your sister, girlfriend, your mother who feels like she's already lost you...

Max:
How do you know about them?

Kal Langley:
It's my job. Go home Max, don't come back. Word of advice, the more you embrace your alien side, the more you're going to lose.

Kal Langley:
[To Max] So this is the mighty king of Antar? A low rank Tom Cruise with a ten dollar haircut?

Kal Langley:
It's in there.

Max Evans:
You can see through metal?

Kal Langley:
No, it's the only building big enough to hide the ship.

[Max and Liz in Michael's kitchen studying]

Liz:
Stop it.

Max:
What?

Liz:
Pretending.

Max:
What am I pretending?

Liz:
That you don't know any of this.

Max:
It's all a mystery to me.

Liz:
Well, me too.

Micheal:
You scared I'm gonna find something?

Max:
I'm terrified they'll find you.

Isabel:
Alex, you have to stop. We can't show weakness.

Alex:
What, you think I'm being weak because I don't want anything bad to happen to you? I mean, to us? To all of us?

Isabel:
You really do want to protect me, don't you?

Alex:
I'd do anything.

Isabel:
Nobody's ever said that to me before. I mean, except for Max and Michael, but they're my brothers, so...

Alex:
Isabel, I meant what I said... about having somebody. I mean... everything gets easier once you're not alone.

Alex:
Look, I don't get it. Why would he go and do this after we all agreed?

Isabel:
Because he's Michael.

Max:
That's no excuse this time.

Max:
You are so full of it.

Michael:
I just call it like I see it.

Max:
You can't compare The Matrix to Crouching Tiger.

Michael:
Crapping Tiger is a chick flick with kung-fu.

Max:
First of all, Crappi... Crouching Tiger is actually about something. Love. Honor. Trust.

Michael:
Matrix is about something. Illusion, reality, gunfire.

Max:
You simply can't prefer Keanu Reeves to Michelle Yeoh. You can't... I won't let you...

[Isabel is at Alex's grave]

Isabel:
How can I leave now, I haven't even lived yet.

Alex:
I know how scary it is, to have to leave... leave this world, but as it turns out, it's not so bad. Your heart is your heart, your soul is your soul. That doesn't change.

Isabel:
Why should I listen to you? You're not even real - you're just a figment of my imagination.

Alex:
Well then you should really listen 'cause it's coming from within you. Go home.

Isabel:
Home to what? I was a terrible person where I come from, I betrayed my own family. And what is home, anyway? Half of me is from there, half of me is from here. What makes one half more important than the other?

Alex:
Well that's what you have to figure out

Isabel:
You're not really here. Are you?

Alex:
No. You're talking in your sleep.

Isabel:
God I wish I could really talk to you Alex.

Alex:
I'm the next best thing. What do you want to say?

Isabel:
That I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Alex:
Me too.

Isabel:
I never should have called you.

Alex:
I called you. Remember?

Isabel:
I never should've brought you into any of this.

Alex:
Any of what?

Isabel:
[bows her head] Me. My life.

Alex:
You think being with you had something to do with what happened?

Isabel:
Yes, I do. I don't know how but - God, If you hadn't been involved with me.

Alex:
[he tilts her chin so she's looking at him] Hey, if I was really here, I'd tell you you're full of crap. You know that.

Isabel:
Yeah, but it wouldn't make me feel any better.

Alex:
I better go.

Isabel:
Why?

Alex:
I'm not making things any better for you.

Isabel:
No, please. Please don't go.

Alex:
I'm already gone. This is just a dream you'll eventually wake up from.

Isabel:
Will I see you again?

Alex:
That depends on you. But I have a feeling, I wouldn't want me to be here. [They kiss] Bye Isabel.

Isabel:
I love you, Alex. [He stops, turns around]

Alex:
I think we both know... that I loved you too.

Amy DeLuca:
You know, I think this is the most time you've ever spent in my house.

Michael:
Yeah, I... I could leave if you want. Just, it's nice to be around people.

Amy DeLuca:
No, no. That's not what I meant at all. Ah, what I'm trying to say is that you've really been great for my family. And it's a wonderful thing to see my daughter loved. And I would like to see a lot more of that. And, as far as I'm concerned, you'll always be welcome in this house.

Michael:
Thank you.

Amy DeLuca:
Welcome on the couch.

Michael:
Right.

[Max heals Kyle]

Kyle:
What the hell just happened to me?

Valenti:
[to Max] I don't care who you are, or what you are. I'll be here for you.

Liz:
Max, the day that you saved my life, your life just ended.

Max:
No, that was the day my life began. Liz, when I was in that room, and they did what they did to me. You're what kept me alive. The thought of you. The way your eyes look into mine. Your smile. The touch of your skin. Your lips. Knowing you has made me human. Whether I die tomorrow or fifty years from now, my destiny is the same: it's you. I want to be with you, Liz. I love you.

Liz:
I love you.

Micheal:
No, I'm not safe. All right, I mean, I can do these things that I can't control. Look at what I did to Pierce. I'm not going to take that chance with you. I don't want you to be around for what's going to happen.

Maria:
Wait. Don't do this to me Michael, please. You need me now, more than you have before, alright?

Micheal:
No, I don't need anyone.

Maria:
Well, maybe I do. Did you ever think of that? I mean, look at Max and Liz. They can't bear to be separated. But you, you can just throw me away. Just like that. Why is that, Michael? Why?

Micheal:
Maybe because I love you too much. Goodbye.

Tess:
I knew you wouldn't leave us.

Nasedo:
You're not ready to be left alone.

Nasedo:
Set off those orbs, and you have no idea who you may be leading straight to us.

Max:
You don't know, do you? You don't know how to use the orbs. If you knew, you would've already used them. You're here to protect us, but not to lead us, you said it yourself. But if you're not the leader, who is?

Max:
Look, everything I told you before is still true.

Liz:
Max, you do have a destiny. You just heard it. I can't stand in the way of it.

Max:
But you mean everything to me.

Liz:
Goodbye, Max.

Max:
If we run, then he'll just keep hunting us and there's no coming back. Are you willing to never see home again? Any of you? Then we have to fight.

Alex:
Fight the most elite unit in the FBI.

Isabel:
Who now knows who we are and everything about us.

Max:
Pierce does know who we are. But we also know who he is, and we're stronger than he thinks. We may be even stronger than we think.

Amy:
Do you know what these are, Liz?

Liz:
Long johns?

Amy:
Maria's long johns. Why would Maria leave her long johns and all of her other winter gear at home if she went camping in the middle of February? Here's a theory from someone who's had several hours to muse on it. She didn't go camping. She lied to her mother, just like she lied to me the other four times she took off for days on end, each time leaving out on the open road another piece of her innocence, and my Jetta. Liz, I consider you a friend... and an extended member of this family, and I value the friendship you have with my daughter very much. But if you don't tell me everything you know about where the hell she is, I'm gonna become very violent with you.

Liz:
Mrs. Deluca, she's fine. She's with Michael.

Michael:
I'm not completely emotionally retarded. I have feelings.

Maria DeLuca:
[Maria and Michael on on top of a convenient store with binoculars when Maria sees something through hers] Whoa.

Michael:
What?

Maria DeLuca:
Someone's in Garrison's Hardware Store.

Michael:
Maria, you're supposed to be watching the sheriff's station.

Maria DeLuca:
[another look through her binoculars] I think they're having sex!

Michael:
[Michael points his binoculars in the same direction as Maria's] Whoa.

[Max stands and kisses Zan, carrying him to the car. Liz touches the baby's hand and lets the baby play with her fingers for a moment. At the car, Max hands Zan to his mother. Concerned, Diane studies her son as she takes the baby, then turns to secure Zan into the car seat. As Max's parents prepare to drive off, Max stands on the curb, grief-stricken and heartbroken. Liz reaches over to take his hand and stand close to him]

Liz Parker:
I'm here. I'll always be here. [Max looks down at her, and she smiles back supportively. Max turns and gazes after his parents' car. Liz draws him into an embrace and they hold each other. We see Zan in his infant car seat playing with a flying saucer-shaped rattle as the Evanses drive away]

Max Evans:
[with tears in his eyes, about his son, Zan] He's human. He deserves to live a normal human life. look, all I've wanted for the past year, more than anything else in my life, was to find him. And now that I finally have, I- [he pauses] I think that I'm going to have to give him up.

Kyle Valenti:
[to Tess] You know, of all the aliens I've met, you're the only one who has no soul.

Tess Harding:
Max loves you. Every time we were together, every time we kissed he was thinking of you. He had these flashes that I saw and they were always of you.

Liz Parker:
Why are you telling me this?

Tess Harding:
Because I know how much it must have hurt you.

Liz Parker:
So you're really going to go do this?

Tess Harding:
At least I can do one good thing with my life.

Liz Parker:
You just did.

Max Evans:
[as Tess tries to leave the room] Sit... down!

Tess Harding:
[points at her injured leg] I guess it would be too much to ask you to heal this?

Max Evans:
Making you feel better is not one of my priorities

Michael Guerin:
[Max, and Tess with the baby, enter Michael's apartment. Michael is sitting watching television, but jumps to his feet, incredulous, when he sees her, and raises his hand to blast her... ] Tess, you are not here!

Max Evans:
[rushes forward to get between Tess and Michael] Michael, no!

Michael Guerin:
Maxwell, get out of the way.

Max Evans:
Not until you calm down.

Michael Guerin:
Whatever she told you, she's lying.

Max Evans:
She has my son.

Michael Guerin:
Well, get the baby out of the way.

Max Evans:
No, he needs her. If you kill her, my son will die.

Michael Guerin:
[Hesitates, but backs off] Max, what the hell's she doin' here?

Max Evans:
It's a long story. But we need to get them out of Roswell.

Michael Guerin:
Yeah. My heart bleeds.

Tess Harding:
Nice to see you, too, Michael.

Max Evans:
[warning Tess] Hey, don't start. [He reaches down to take the baby from her]

Michael Guerin:
[Outside Michael's apartment, Liz arrives. She preens and smiles as she reaches for the door, eagerly anticipating her evening with Max.Inside, Tess has just finished telling her story to Michael] Oh, so you're the one that crashed in the desert the other night.

Tess Harding:
You always were the quick one, Guerin.

Liz Parker:
[Suddenly Tess is blasted through the air. She lands hard in the adjoining room and Max and Michael are shocked. They look back towards the door] Get up, b*tch! [Liz's outstretched hand crackles with green sparks. Without waiting, Liz blasts Tess again, knocking her back into the wall as a stunned Max and Michael watch for a moment in disbelief] I'll kill you!

Max Evans:
- Liz- -No- [Max quickly hands the baby to Michael and lunges to stop Liz]

Liz Parker:
You're a murderer! I'll kill you!

Max Evans:
Liz...!

[Max restrains Liz and pulls her outside onto the patio]

[Tess has a stunned look on her face because of her not knowing about Liz's powers]

Michael Guerin:
[smirking at Tess]... Welcome back.

[Outside, Liz is still agitated, pushing away as Max relinquishes his grip]

Liz Parker:
What? What? So you trust her now?

Max Evans:
No, Liz, far from it. But Tess and my son are linked. Killing her would kill him.

Liz Parker:
Yeah, that's convenient.

Max Evans:
Liz, I have no other choice. I have to believe her.

Liz Parker:
This is insane. She betrayed all of us! She killed Alex!

Max Evans:
...I know.

Liz Parker:
No, she has to pay for it! Max, promise me... when this is all over, Tess will pay for what she did.

Max Evans:
...I promise...

Liz Parker:
Let me know when it's over. [Liz turns abruptly and walks off, leaving him standing]

[Liz walks out just as Kyle is coming in]

Kyle Valenti:
[Liz walks out just as Kyle is coming in] Gee, Liz. Is everything okay? [Liz just blows on past him]... 'guess not...

Tess Harding:
Kyle! Thank God you're here!

Kyle Valenti:
[comes into the room, but paces back and forth in front of Tess, frowning] Don't come near me.

Tess Harding:
[obviously sad] Kyle, at least give me a chance to explain!

Kyle Valenti:
[to Michael] Why haven't you killed her yet?

Michael Guerin:
Max wouldn't let me.

Max Evans:
[Max comes up and takes the baby away from Tess] Come on, Zan, - I don't want you to see this...

Tess Harding:
Be careful with him, Max.

Kyle Valenti:
So, what are you doing here?

Tess Harding:
Ask one of them, I'm sick of explaining.

Kyle Valenti:
Okay, why don't you explain what the hell you were doing at our house earlier.

Tess Harding:
I thought you'd help me.

Kyle Valenti:
Then why'd you run away in such a hurry?

Tess Harding:
I was protecting my son.

Kyle Valenti:
He wasn't in danger!

Tess Harding:
Your father had a gun! Instincts took over! You're lucky I didn't kill you!

Kyle Valenti:
[laughs ironically] Oh... I guess I owe you one. Oh, actually... No.

Tess Harding:
[Still sad] Kyle...

Kyle Valenti:
We took you into our home, Tess. We protected you. And how did you repay us? You brainwashed me into carrying Alex's dead body!

Tess Harding:
I never meant to hurt...

Kyle Valenti:
Well, too late!

Tess Harding:
You've never even heard my side of the story.

Kyle Valenti:
You have a side? The murderer has a side!

Tess Harding:
I was raised by a killer, Kyle... a sick and twisted man...!

Kyle Valenti:
Don't play the victim here, Tess. You know, of all the aliens I've met... you're the only one who has no soul. [He walks away from her, leaving her stung and frowning]

Kyle Valenti:
[about Tess] She has the baby? Are you kidding me? My brain's exploding.

Tess Harding:
Why didn't you vote against me?

Liz Parker:
'Cause I'm not a killer, Tess.

Isabel:
Alex and I are together now.

Micheal:
Maria and I are going steady.

Isabel:
Great.

Micheal:
Great.

Maria:
Must be something in the water.

Max:
Why didn't you tell me about this, Michael?

Micheal:
You mean why didn't I get your approval?

Micheal:
Why are you so scared to be alien?

Max:
Why are you so scared to be human?

Micheal:
I've been thinking.

Maria:
Oh, great this usually involves me having to get my car towed.

Michael:
[to Maria] The moment I kidnapped you and stole your car I knew you were the girl for me.

Liz:
Can you really look at me and say this? I am most likely to get killed in 12 days, and what are you saying? You are saying you're pissed off because you're not getting killed too.

Maria:
[starting to cry] Yes- I don't-I'm falling apart here, Liz, okay? I know I'm ridiculous, I know I sound crazy but...

Liz:
It's just that all I have heard for the past 5 months is how you want out of the alien chaos, and now, what you want back in? Maria, Maria, which one is it? Do you want in? Or do you want out?

Maria:
I don't know. I don't know. Which one is better for me? You can see the future, Liz, please tell me. Hold my hand, maybe you'll have a flash or something. Tell me which one is better?

Liz:
Maria. Maria, listen to me, you've got to stop, okay? Who knows, all right? I can see the future, and I have no idea. Maybe you just need to decide what you want and then go get it. Okay?

Max:
Liz, they're taking our homes from us... They want to kill us... and they might... But when I look into your eyes... I don't feel angry or deprived... I feel like the luckiest half-human on the planet. You're pure... You're - You're true... And you're real. And right now that seems like the only thing that's important... I want to be with you, Liz... forever.

Liz:
Forever may only be twelve days.

Max:
Then we'll take those twelve days... and live twelve lifetimes... Liz Parker, will you marry me?

Liz:
...Yes.

Max:
Liz, they are trying to take our home from us, they are trying to kill us and they may. Butwhen i look to your eyes i don't feel angry, or deprived! I feel like the luckyest half human in the planet. You are pure, you're true and you are real, and right now that seems all that is important. I wanna be with you forever...

Liz:
Forever may only be 12 days...

Max:
So we will take those 12 days and live 12 lifetimes... Liz Parker, will you marry me?

Liz:
Yes!

Max:
After graduation!

Jesse:
I am not going without you.

Isabel:
You have to.

Jesse:
Will you come back to me?

Isabel:
I will keep praying that someday it will be safe enough.

Jesse:
Oh, I am willing to count on that.

Liz:
What have you been doing?

Kyle:
It's called working for the man.

Liz:
In a sewer?

Kyle:
Close.

Liz:
[Ending of the Series] I can't tell you much more than that. It wouldn't be safe. For you or for us. I can tell you that we're far away and that we're all trying to avoid the law and do good in the world. Oh, and I guess I should tell you that Max and I did eventually tie the knot. Give my love to Mom. Let her read this journal too. Then, give it to Maria's mom, and after that, take it and burn it out in the desert by the ruins of the pod chamber, where my husband was born. So that's the end. Our life in Roswell. What a long, strange trip it's been. Will we ever go back? I don't know. Even I can't see everything in the future. All I know is that I'm Liz Parker... and I'm happy.

Max:
[a speech at his graduation] Hi, I'm Max Evans. I thought I'd take this opportunity to say a few things on behalf of myself and the graduating class. Some of us are here tonight to walk across this stage and get our hard-earned diplomas and toss our caps in the air. But there's another group here tonight, a group of people who are here for another reason altogether. They're here to say goodbye. Goodbye to their high school lives. Goodbye to family and friends. You see, this group has been though a lot. And tonight is the night they've decided to call it quits. It's been a long, hard road for them. They have a lot of wounds. They've lost people. People that were close to them. They've had each other to cling to. But tonight that's all coming to an end. I'm a member of that group of... outsiders. I always knew I was different. And for a long, long time, all I wanted was to be another face in the crowd. But in the end... it wasn't possible. I guess it never was. So from now on, I'll just concentrate on being who I really am. Some of you might not like that. Some of you might even find that frightening. But that's not my problem anymore. I have to be who I really am and let fate take care of the rest. So thank you, Roswell. Thank you for letting me live among you. Thank you for giving me a family. Thank you for giving me a home.

Michael:
Well, I'm not graduating so, I guess I'll be the first to leave.

Max:
Michael, look...

Michael:
Ah, I'm traveling light so, you can have my Metallica CDs.

Max:
I know things between us have been a little ah...

Michael:
Maxwell don't. 'Cuz I can't.

[Max hugs Michael as the others look on]

Max:
I renounce the throne... I'm not a king, [to Michael] you're not my second-in-command and [to Isabel] you're not a princess.

Sheriff Jim Valenti:
I hear I missed quite a ceremony.

Kyle:
I don't think they're gonna forget the class of 2002.

Michael:
[about Kyle] Does he really get to start referring to us as his "own kind"?

Michael:
Modesty prevents me from taking a bow.

Liz:
The trouble with making plans for the future... even when you can see the future... is that fate has a way of intervening and upsetting 'the best laid plans of mice and men'. Robert Burns, 1785. That was on the SAT, too.

Liz:
I'm trying to handle the whole college acceptance thing with grace and aplomb.

Max:
...'Aplomb'?

Liz:
Yeah... it's an SAT word that I can't get out of my head. It's slowly driving me crazy.

Maria:
I thought you were leaving.

Michael:
I am... but I just wanted... I dunno.

Maria:
To say goodbye?

Michael:
I wanted to say that this thing has been screwed up from the beginning. You and me. Us. Just the whole long, stupid story...

Maria:
Thanks...

Michael:
But I wouldn't trade it for anything. It's meant so much to me, y'know. From day one, from the moment I kidnapped you and stole your car... I knew you were the girl for me. I never wanted anyone else...

Maria:
Michael...

Michael:
I still don't. Just... Wherever I'm going, whatever I'm doin', just know I'll always love you.

[Michael puts his helmet on and starts his bike]

Maria:
Wait. No... wait. You - you can't just say that and then...

[Michael rides off, leaving Maria looking after him]

Liz:
We're all going to be killed.

Michael:
I dream we get whacked every other night, why the meeting

Max:
I'm the luckiest half-human on this earth.

Michael:
A team? Look at us it's ridiculous!

Michael:
So we agree.

Max:
Yeah.

Michael:
There's a first.

Michael:
She went out the window... I tried chasing her...

Maria:
But it's hard to run with your pants around your ankles?

Maria:
Oh please! Do your lips ever get chapped from all the ass-kissing?

Liz:
[writing in journal] We try to live responsible logical lives, but we can't tell our hearts what to feel. Sometimes our hearts lead us to places we never thought we wanted to go, and sometimes our hearts can be the sweetest gentlest things we have. Sometimes our hearts can make us feel miserable anger, excited and confused all at once. But at least my heart is open, and I'm writing again. I'm feeling. I'm breathing.

Alex:
You know, I gotta say, objectively speaking, you are incredibly beautiful this evening.

Isabel:
You don't have to say that.

Alex:
I know I don't.

Maria:
You guys didn't go... beyond?

Liz:
No, no, no.

Maria:
Gonna say... you were only out for 5 minutes.

Liz:
I know. Listen, Maria, if I... when... when... when I actually do it, it is not gonna be in between a plate of Kielbasa and a deep fryer.

Maria:
Hmm.

Liz:
I saw things, Maria. Did you see things when you and Michael kissed?

Maria:
What exactly did you see?

Liz:
Stars.

Max:
Did anything like that ever happen to Maria when you two...

Michael:
No. Maxwell, let me assure you, you have not experienced anything I have not experienced many times or caused to be experienced.

Max:
Then how can you call yourself my friend?

Michael:
What?

Max:
A friend wouldn't have kept something like that to himself.

Isabel:
Are you afraid? I mean to let someone in; to let someone see who you really are?

Liz:
Yeah, of course I am.

Isabel:
Well, multiply that by about a million.

Michael:
[about Maria] It feels so wrong, but it feels so good.

Isabel:
So, tonight. That party everybody's talking about. Are you interested?

Alex Whitman:
Yeah. Yeah, sure. Tell me how it goes.

Liz:
Alex, listen to me! This has nothing to with drugs. Alex... Max, Michael and Isabel... They aren't from around here.

Alex Whitman:
Where are they from? [Liz points her finger up]

Alex Whitman:
What, like Wyoming? [Liz points her finger even higher up]

Alex Whitman:
Okay, fine, Canada! They're Canucks. So, what, you're saying the FBI are all over them because they're, like, illegal aliens?

Liz:
Yeah. Sort of.

[Max and Liz are about to kiss in the lab. The teacher walks in]

Ms. Hardy:
Hey, Liz. How are you doing on your mating ritual?

Liz:
I was doing just fine.

Michael:
I just figured "go for it", you know? I don't know what I was thinking.

Max:
Yeah, I just thought we had guidelines about this. We agreed to discuss before we acted on any, you know... urges.

Michael:
I hate to tell you this, Max, but when I have urges, you're not exactly the first person I think about.

Liz:
So, how do you feel, you know, about what I said?

Alex Whitman:
Well, part of me feels like you've gone insane, and the other part of me like I want some of the massive doses of hallucinogens you've obviously been taking.

Michael:
Look, Laurie, I know a lot of people think you're pretty crazy. But the truth is, knowing everything you've been through, you seem pretty normal to me. I just want you to know that whatever you are to me - a sister, a cousin, whatever - you're the only family I've ever known, and I just found you. I don't... I don't want to let you go. I know you're scared to death of me, but... if you could find some way to trust me... I mean, I got all kinds of faults. And this one over here, you know

[gestures to Maria]

Michael:
she can list them off for you if you want later on, but... the one thing I am is loyal. I will not turn my back on you. That's all I got to say. I don't know.

Tess:
It's ok, you know? You have the right to protect your family.

Kyle:
You're part of the family I was trying to protect. As far as I can see, you're the only good thing about having an alien in my life.

Tess:
Kyle?

Kyle:
What?

Tess:
You're definitely my favorite human.

Kyle:
Yeah, well... you're my favorite Martian.

Liz:
Oh, my God.

Alex:
Yeah, the northern lights. I can't describe it. Basically what it is is you're looking up there, and you're actually seeing electrons from the sun colliding with our atmosphere in every color you could possibly imagine. Really makes you realize what a big world is out there. All these... all these possibilities. All these... new experiences. Life. It's all just there... waiting for us. You really gotta travel, Liz. It's the most amazing thing.

Liz:
Yeah. someday.

Alex:
Right. When there's not so much goin' on.

Kyle:
What do you suppose alien crystals are going for on eBay?

Max:
No, no, that's wrong. It was a Navajo White. That's more Eggshell.

Michael:
And I'm the one who needs a hobby?

Jesse:
Were you guys just talking about me?

Isabel:
No, silly. The world doesn't revolve around you!

Max:
Yeah, it revolves around Michael.

Michael:
That's me!

Max:
[Sees Michael watching "Bewitched"] Okay, this is officially not funny anymore.

Michael:
I'd ask what your problem is, Maxwell, but I really don't care.

Max:
Michael, you have got to get a life.

Michael:
Thanks for the heartfelt advice. You can leave now.

Max:
Somebody wanna tell me what's going on?

Jesse:
Max! You can't just go around turning people into dogs.

Max:
I won't stand here and be lectured by the descendant of an ape.

Isabel:
Max, change him back, please.

Max:
He seems to know our little secret. Now how could that have happened?

Jesse:
He doesn't know anything. Unless, of course, he's seen you flying around the neighborhood in the saucer again.

Max:
You go for one joyride and they never let you forget it.

Isabel:
Max, I don't want him to piddle on the carpet.

Max:
In a minute, Speaking of the saucer Michael broke the cloaking device so I had to park it in your basement for now.

Jesse:
In the basement?

Max:
Am I speaking too fast for your human brain to follow?

Jesse:
How did you get it in there?

Isabel:
He used the time-space slipstream, dear.

Max:
Duh.

Jesse:
[On the golf course] You want to take a mulligan?

Michael:
No, I don't take drugs.

Isabel:
Michael, what are you going to tell Eric?

Michael:
I'll think of something.

Isabel:
I don't know what worries me more, when you don't think or when you do.

Michael:
That's funny. You should be on a sitcom.

Eric Hughes:
So, uh, when did you meet Isabel?

Jesse:
July 5th.

Eric Hughes:
July 5th? Isn't that your birthday?

Jesse:
Yeah, how about that for a present.

Isabel:
Well, what are we going to do?

Max:
I guess we're gonna have to find another planet to hide out on.

Isabel:
But I like this planet.

Micheal:
Me too. Where else are you going to find another planet that has Whoppers and Big Mac?

Isabel and Max:
Shut up.

Maria DeLuca:
[about Michael] So he wants to take me out for my birthday next week and I don't know.

Kyle Valenti:
What's the harm?

Isabel Amanda Evans:
Well, the harm is that a birthday dinner by definition is sentimental.

Maria DeLuca:
And sentimental leads to a goodnight kiss.

Isabel Amanda Evans:
And a goodnight kiss leads to sex.

Kyle Valenti:
I should write that down.

Isabel:
Did you forget something?

Jesse:
Yeah, my balls.

[Max and Michael laughs]

Jesse:
Were you guys just talking about me?

Isabel:
That's a little paranoid, don't you think? I mean the whole world doesn't revolve around you.

Max:
It revolves around Michael.

Michael:
That's a fact.

Max:
You keep telling me how lucky I am... to have a great home, great parents. But in one way, it's harder for me, because when I screw up, I have no excuses. But you, you can do and say anything you want because you have Hank, and you can blame it on that. But what happens without him? It'll all be on you, that's what.

Micheal:
Well, leave it up to me to still screw it up, huh?

Max:
It's ok, Michael, because if you do, we'll all still be there for you. Maybe you have to start thinking about someone other than yourself, Michael. The 3 of us belong together. There's a reason that we're together. We're family. So, go if you want to, but no matter where or how far, we will always be connected. Isabel and I wanted you to have this. It means nothing without you.

Micheal:
See ya.

Isabel:
What are you guys doing here?

Michael:
Taking care of your problem.

Max:
Why didn't you tell us before you left?

Isabel:
Well, I didn't expect him to follow me here.

Michael:
He sure as hell doesn't have the hots for us now, does he?

Isabel:
You can't kill him.

Max:
We know.

Michael:
We're going to.

Max:
Michael.

Michael:
Let's go scuba diving.

Max:
Are you serious?

Michael:
When else? You gotta seize the moment, Max.

Max:
I've gotta get back home.

Michael:
There'll be plenty of time for intense brooding moments with Liz later.

Max:
We were just almost obliterated by an alien killer.

Michael:
Which is why we need to chill.

Max:
Chill?

Michael:
Exactly, chill. See some stingrays.

Max:
You're really serious about this.

Michael:
Yeah.

Max:
Get him out of here. You ok?

Michael:
Hey, whatever-your-name-is.

Isabel:
I think so.

Kivar:
Where am I?

Michael:
La Jolla. Come on, you need to call your wife.

Kivar:
How did I get in California?

Michael:
I don't know. Maybe you were kidnapped by aliens or something. Come on, let's go.

Kyle:
He killed you?

Micheal:
Yeah.

Max:
We don't remember a lot. In our other life Khivar was our enemy. He was trying to take over my throne. Isabel fell in love with him, and helped him overtake us. It was a blood bath; we were all killed, including Isabel. Our genetic material was mixed with human DNA, and then we were sent here.

Kyle:
Nothing is ever simple with you people, is it?

Max:
What did he see?

Isabel:
Everything.

Max:
That could be a problem.

Kyle Valenti:
Isabel, I'm all for denial as a way of life but you can't just run away from this one.

Isabel Amanda Evans:
Yes I can.

Max Evans:
[Isabel opens the door] Hi.

Michael Guerin:
We're here to kill your boyfriend.[Isabel slams the door shut]

Maria:
We've both been kind of busy.

Michael:
[looking at her chest] Yeah, I can see that.

Alex:
I was wondering - do aliens enjoy the cinema?

Isabel:
Alex...

Alex:
Yeah, right. Sorry. The 'A' word.

Alex:
Isabel Evans and Alex Charles Whitman out on a date? That's like, miraculous, you know, this is-this is the biggest moment of Alex Charles Whitman's life...

Liz:
Listen, why don't you just take some deep breaths, okay?

Alex:
It's just- it's amazing, you know, I-it's totally amazing, it's-it's too amazing- oh, God. It's a joke, isn't it? It's a practical joke. You two are in on it, you bastards...

Liz:
Alex... Alex, Alex, ummm, your paranoid schizophrenia, it's kicking in.

Alex:
Right. I'm gonna go to the bathroom and go have a little talk with myself.

Maria:
It's an aqua bra. You know, all the fun of implants without the invasive surgery part.

Liz:
It's not that cold.

Maria:
You're not wearing an ice bra.

Liz:
I guess everyone has their reasons for keeping people away, an instinct to protect yourself from getting hurt. It's part of human nature. I just wish Max would understand that... that he would realize that he's not that different from us at all. Maybe then we'd have a chance.

Maria:
Stop it and listen to me, all right? I need my best friend right now because our other best friend just died, and I feel lost and scared and just completely wrecked, and I know that we're supposed to go to school, and go to work, and finish this yearbook tribute, but I just can't... I don't have a handle on things. I feel like everything is just slipping by me, and I don't even... I don't even know if I'm alive right now. So please, just stop focusing on this thing, that isn't even there. And just be sad with the rest of us, ok? Please.

Liz:
So you don't believe me, either.

Maria:
I'm - no, I'm sorry, I guess I don't, Liz.

Micheal:
Sit down. We've been through some rough stuff lately. The thing is, you're right. I can't really imagine it happening, but I am gonna leave someday. It could be a year, or two, or fifty. But I'm gonna leave. It sucks. It's the choice we made to be together. But there is one thing that I can promise you, and that is that I can give you now.

Liz:
I really need your help. I know something's wrong. I know what they're saying about you isn't true. But I don't know where to go from here. I really wish you could - give me some advice, point my in a direction.

[Liz scans the room with her eyes and they fall upon Alex's desk. She goes over and picks up his book, The Poetry of Robert Frost book. She opens it to a page marked with tickets]

Liz:
[reading the book] The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep and miles to go before I sleep.

[Liz looks at the tickets-concert tickets to Beth Orton]

Liz:
[whispers loudly] Thank You

Isabel Evans:
So, I'll change dollar bills into hundreds.

Isabel Evans:
You can do that?

Max Evans:
You think we have something to do with it?

Micheal:
I have no idea. I just wouldn't want our leader to be forming opinions based on what he wants to be true instead of what really is true. Anyway...

Max Evans:
Michael. The idea that Alex might have died just because we're here... I can't bear it. All those times you would run off chasing some clue to find out where we come from. Why we're here. Where we belong. I always thought you were chasing something that wasn't out there, because in my heart, I believed that we belonged here, you know? That we were human. Lately, I've been thinking that you might have been right all along.

Micheal:
Lately, I've been thinking I might have been wrong all along.

Max:
Gotta feed the monkey.

Max:
I'll have an Alien Blast.

Liz:
[under her breath] Me too.

Liz:
Part of me wants safety, wants to go back to how things were, to a life that I could predict, where I know how life is going to be. And the other part of me wants to go somewhere else, into the unknown.

Liz:
The tough thing about following your heart is what people forget to mention, that sometimes your heart takes you to places you shouldn't be, places that are as scary as they are exciting and as dangerous as they are alluring, and sometimes your heart takes you to places that can never lead to a happy ending. And that's not even the difficult part. The difficult part is when you follow your heart, you leave normal, you go into the unknown. And once you do, you can never go back.

Isabel Evans:
[about Max's bruises] Pretty raw. Why don't you just get rid of them?

Max:
Because they have to heal normal. Everything has to be normal.

Max:
Liz, when I saved you, it was because you were shot. And there was a bullet in you. Something was happening to you that wasn't supposed to happen. It was before your time. But I can't just heal people. I'm not God.

Liz:
Max?

Max:
Liz. You brought me back.

Liz:
I guess that makes us even.

Isabel:
So in the end, what made you decide not to take the deal?

Max:
I was going to. I was gonna take the chance that... that Nicholas was telling the truth. But in the end, I realized that... that any deal which meant leaving you and Michael behind... was something I couldn't do. You're my sister, Isabel. Isabel, Vilandra... whatever your name is, it doesn't matter to me. You're my sister, and I love you... and that comes first. Always.

Isabel:
Thank you.

Kyle:
Some pal Judge Lewis turned out to be.

Valenti:
He doesn't know what we know.

Kyle:
I know, but it pisses me off that we can't tell him the truth.

Valenti:
Well, as you kids say, it sucks big.

Nicholas:
Max. Nice to see your genocidal girlfriend again. Killed anyone today?

Tess:
Day's not over.

Nicholas:
What a charmer.

Tess:
Michael.

Micheal:
What's going on?

Tess:
What are you talking about?

Micheal:
You know what I'm talking about. Nasedo has Liz.

Tess:
I didn't know.

Micheal:
The hell you didn't. You want us to trust you, but how can we if you don't tell us what you know.

Tess:
I can't tell you what I don't know.

Micheal:
Hey, Valenti is involved now. If this thing goes the wrong way, he'll know everything, and that puts us all in danger, including you. Now, get in the jeep.

Tess:
Michael, you don't know who you're dealing with.

Micheal:
No, but you do, and that's why you're coming with us.

Max:
We've got to find out where they are.

Alex:
How are we going to do that?

Max:
We've got to go to Valenti.

Micheal:
And tell him what? There's two Maxes. The good one's right here, but please help us catch his evil twin.

Isabel:
Michael, this can't be.

Micheal:
I know. But why not?

Isabel:
I thought you just said we can't trust her.

Max:
Who said anything about trusting her?

Max:
What does he really look like?

Tess:
He's never let me see. Never lets me close to him at all.

Max:
He's all you've ever had?

Tess:
Yeah.

Max:
That must have been hard.

Tess:
It's been really lonely. He doesn't have a human side at all

Isabel:
Alex, you have no idea what's going on.

Alex:
Does Michael love you?

Isabel:
It's not that simple.

Alex:
It should be.

Alex:
Don't you think I've known that from the start? That if I decided to go forward with this that things might get weird. Look, you said that you were ready for a relationship. Whatever's going on now, I know that you meant it. I know that it was real.

Isabel:
It was. It was real.

Alex:
I'll be here when you need me.

Micheal:
What about this destiny thing? I mean are we still meant to pair up? You and Tess, me and Isabel?

Max:
That's our choice. Michael.

Micheal:
I saw the book, Max, I'm not sure we have much to say about it.

Max:
We control our own lives. I won't let any book tell me what to do.

Max:
Since when? Weren't you the one who went off with Topolski by yourself? Liz's life is in danger, and suddenly we've got rules.

Micheal:
No, there's always been rules: Tell no one. You're the one who broke that. You're not going to do that again.

Max:
It's not about the four of us right now, it's about Liz.

Tess:
Liz is human. She has nothing to do with us.

Max:
You lied to me about Vilandra.

Isabel:
I don't know what you're...

Max:
Shut up! She betrayed me... and Michael and Tess and our mother... our whole planet!

Isabel:
Who told you this? Did she tell you this?

Max:
She cared enough to apologize to me. I had to hear it from a stranger. And yet, my own sister...

Isabel:
All right, Max. Fine. Fine. Now you know. I was sick of keeping it a secret. Sick of worrying about disappointing you. The great king.

Max:
I trusted you!

Isabel:
I didn't do anything! I didn't do anything, and I'm not going to stand around and be accused of something someone else did in another lifetime! Something completely irrelevant.

Max:
If it's so irrelevant, why didn't you tell me?

Isabel:
Because! I have my own life, and I can't live it when I am busy trying to prove myself to you all the time. Trying to prove I won't betray you! It is exhausting, living with that.

Max:
I never asked you to prove yourself.

Isabel:
Yes, you did. You treat everybody like they're your property. I don't belong to you, Max. I never did.

Max:
I feel like I don't even know you.

Isabel:
How could you? All you care about is yourself. And Liz Parker, of course. Maybe you're finally getting what you deserve. Finally looking in the mirror and seeing what you really are, and you are no king. You are a self-centered, self-indulgent little boy!

Maria:
Hello? I'm singing on Saturday at the new performance space next to the museum.

Michael:
Yeah. But I've heard you sing before. What's the big deal?

Max:
What are you running from?

Isabel:
I'm just getting into shape.

Max:
Since when? Your only exercise used to be the escalator at the mall.

Alex:
Ladies, uh... frosty beverage?

Lonnie:
No three ways tonight, opie, maybe later.

Lonnie:
You two done the deed yet? Made the beast with two backs? You are in for a treat.

Rath:
Alien sex, baby. Accept no limitations.

Jeffrey 'Jeff' Parker:
Did you have fun? Where you been? I'm asking you man to man where you took my daughter in the middle of the night.

Max:
We went to the desert. We didn't do anything wrong.

Jeffrey 'Jeff' Parker:
It was wrong for you to see her at all. You know that.

Max:
I'm sorry. I love her.

Jeffrey 'Jeff' Parker:
I don't give a damn about your love. Because of you, my daughter was arrested for armed robbery. She could've been killed! Did you ever think about that? Tell me you're not dangerous, Max. Tell me that being with you doesn't put my little girl's life in jeopardy. Yeah, that's what I thought. So now this is gonna stop. It's gonna stop right now. And you are never to see Liz again. And if you do. If I find out that you as much as sat next to her in class she'll be on the next plane to Vermont.

Max:
Vermont?

Jeffrey 'Jeff' Parker:
The Winnaman Academy. It's an all-girls boarding school. Her mother and I filled out all the paperwork and the application was accepted. So all I've got to do is write a check and put Liz on the next plane.

Max:
You would do that? You would do that just to.

Jeffrey 'Jeff' Parker:
Just to keep her away from you. Yes, I would. And I will. Goodbye, Max.

Max:
Michael, what you're about to do is not a plan. It's not an idea. It's something you think about in your mind and then you come up with something better.

Michael:
Yeah, I don't have anything better.

Steve:
You're a crazy bastard. You know that?

Michael:
Welcome to my world.

Liz:
It's funny how the world changes sometimes, how the streets you walked your entire life seem darker, colder. How the silence isn't so quiet anymore. How eyes you've barely even noticed now look at nothing but you. How the walk home every night is no longer routine, but a victory. And then you begin to wonder... maybe it's not the world that's changed. Maybe it's just you. And then, suddenly... you begin to wonder all over again

Maria:
What are you doing here?

Isabel:
I just thought we should talk, and since we can't seem to do it when we're awake, I thought I'd visit you in your dreams.

Maria:
What do you mean visit me?

Isabel:
I'm not really a part of your dream. I can't change it or anything. I just wanted to see what you were thinking. [Isabel notices Michael sitting at a table, dressed in a tuxedo] Interesting.

Maria:
When he's dressed like that, it makes me feel much less afraid.

Isabel:
Afraid of what?

Liz:
Max, I'm so sorry. I should never have even told Maria in the first place.

Max:
Well you did it 'cause you trusted her, and you needed someone to talk to. It was only natural.

Liz:
So why did you tell me?

Max:
It was only natural.

Valenti:
Strong man. Strong hands. And he had this theory, you know? About aliens? That they were real. Sounds awfully silly, doesn't it?

Maria:
Yeah.

Valenti:
That's what everybody thought. But my father, he was a very stubborn man, and he wouldn't let it go. He believed, and he lost his job over it. And, uh, he lost his family over it. Now I would hate to see that happen to any other family in this town, wouldn't you? Now there's one more thing that you and I have in common, isn't it? (Maria begins to cry.) We've both seen things recently. Things that have made us start to wonder, made us question ourselves, our beliefs, and I think that if we share those things with each other, we're both going to feel a little bit safer. Now Isabel Evans she's just a girl?

Maria:
She's a special girl.

Valenti:
What makes her special?

Maria:
Where she comes from.

Valenti:
Where is she from? Maria, where are they from? Where did they come from?

Maria:
(Maria looks at him and makes a decision) A very nice family. And like you said sheriff, we wouldn't want to destroy any other families in this town, would we?

Isabel:
My mother does stupid things too.

Maria:
She does?

Isabel:
Don't all mothers?

Maria:
Yeah, I guess. Does she know?

Isabel:
That she does stupid things?

Maria:
No that, uh, you and Max are, like, you know, different.

Isabel:
You mean horrible disgusting creatures from outer space who sneak into your room at night and perform excruciating experiments?

Micheal:
So what do you mean she was nervous?

Liz:
I don't know. She was just, she was like nervous.

Max:
Nervous, like, just overexcited nervous?

Micheal:
Or nervous, she's gonna crack, nervous.

Liz:
What did you mean the other day about that thing, about the tree?

Max:
Just somebody's advice. Not to get stuck behind them.

Liz:
Oh. Well did you take it? That advice?

Max:
I think I just did.

Brody Davis:
There's just so much in my head right now. I can't figure out who I am anymore.

Maria:
You're Brody Davis. You're smart, you're funny, you're sensitive and you'd actually make a damn good boyfriend for someone.

Brody Davis:
I sound pretty good.

Maria:
Mom, don't worry. I gave Liz a coded message. Any minute now 50 cops will be busting down that door and getting us all out of here.

Amy DeLuca:
What coded message?

Maria:
The Galaxy Sub with Pepper Jack, it's what Brody always orders.

Amy DeLuca:
And?

Maria:
Liz is my best friend, we have our own language. She'll understand. Trust me.

[At the Crashdown Cafe]

Liz:
Galaxy Sub with Pepper Jack. Does that mean anything to you?

Elizabeth "Liz" Parker:
That was weird.

Michael Guerin:
What was?

Elizabeth "Liz" Parker:
Maria just hung up on me.

Michael Guerin:
Happens to me all the time.

Micheal:
I guess the interview went well.

Valenti:
Piece of cake.

Micheal:
Drop my name?

Valenti:
I really didn't have to, Michael. She seemed pretty impressed with my resume, you know, being the sheriff and all.

Liz:
Where you from?

[Max points up with his index finger]

Liz:
Up north?

[Max points higher]

Liz:
You're not an, an alien, I mean. Are you?

Max:
Well I prefer the term not of this earth.

Max:
Well I'm not from around here.

Maria:
The guy with the gun was kind of like a, like a muscular Beavis. And... the other one was like a, like a beefy Butthead.

Liz:
[voice] It's September 24th, I'm Liz Parker and five days ago I died. But then the really amazing thing happened. I came to life.

Max:
Aren't you going to read me my rights?

Valenti:
Do you have any?

Liz:
Oh my God Maria that's them. Cut a U-ie.

Maria:
Cut a U-ie?

Liz:
Maria.

Maria:
Who are you?

Liz:
When you healed me you risked all of this getting out didn't you?

Max:
Yeah

Liz:
Why?

Max:
It was you

Isabel:
Don't you realize it's only a matter of time before they find us an turn us over to some government agency, where they'll test us and prod us and oh, yeah, exterminate us!

Liz:
Okay. All right. Here we go. Where did you come from?

Max:
I don't know. When the ship crashed I wasn't born yet.

Liz:
So there was a crash?

Max:
All I know is it wasn't a weather balloon that fell that night.

Liz:
The ship crashed in 1947 you're 16?

Max:
We were in some kind of incubation pods.

Liz:
We?

Max:
Isabel and Michael are also... uh...

Liz:
Okay, well, that, answers, um, that question. Um, what powers do you have?

Max:
We can connect with people, as uh, you know. We can manipulate molecular structures, and... we can...

Liz:
Wait, what does that mean?

[Max goes to a clay sculpture on a nearby table and moves his hand in front of it, the shape changes]

Max:
That's, uh, that's how I healed you.

Liz:
Max, who else knows this?

Max:
No one.

Liz:
What about your parents?

Max:
We don't tell anyone. We sorta think our lives depend on it.

Liz:
So when you healed me you risked all of this getting out didn't you?

Max:
Yea

Liz:
Why?

Max:
It was you.

[Liz is on the roof]

Max:
Liz!

[She walks to the edge and looks over]

Max:
I have to talk to you.

[She lets him in]

Max:
I can't imagine how you must feel right now, I mean, I've thought about telling you a thousand times.

Liz:
You have, me?

[Max smiles]

Liz:
What?

Max:
Sorry, I just , uh, I just keep picturing you in that dress, with the, uh, the cupcakes... on it.

Liz:
What?

Max:
Forget it, it was a long time ago.

Liz:
[Realizes what he is talking about] Oh my God. That's, that's right. I can't believe I actually wore that thing! [Realizes something] I had that dress in kindergarten, I didn't know you until the third grade. Did you like, read my mind or something?

Max:
No, I-I don't read minds. When I healed you, I made this, this, I don't know, this connection. And I got this rush of images... An image of that dress flashed into my mind, and, I knew how you felt about it.

Liz:
How did I feel about it?

Max:
It was the single supreme embarrassment of your life. But your Mom made it for you, she was so proud of it, she'd never made a dress before, so you wore it. For her sake.

[Liz nods in shock]

Max:
I've never tried this before, but maybe I can make the connection go the other way. So you can see, you know that, that I'm still me.

[He advances until he's in front of her]

Max:
I have to touch you.

[Liz nods]

[Max puts his hands on both side of her head]

Max:
Now just take deep breaths and try to let your mind blank out.

Liz:
[Liz gets a rush of images, Max and Isabel walking down the road and the Evans finding them, Max on the first day, and how he sees her. In the halls at school talking to Maria, and since they were in third grade] VOICE-OVER: I could feel everything he was feeling. I could feel his loneliness. For the first time I was really seeing Max Evans, I saw me as he saw me, and the amazing thing was, in his eyes, I was beautiful.

Max:
[Max pulls away] Did it work? [Liz nods and Max looks at her embarrassed]

Max:
So you're dating the sheriff's son?

Liz:
Yeah, it's like this totally casual sort of... Max, can we just focus here for a minute, please? [she raises her shirt and shows Max the silver handprint on her stomach] I scraped some cells from your pencil. This is really weird to say. I'm trying really hard to keep from blacking out there. The cells weren't normal. So, Max, what I'm going to suggest to you... is that we just go back in to the bio lab now... so that I can see what I'm thinking is wrong. That I got the wrong cells.

Max:
You didn't.

Liz:
Okay, um. So help me out here, Max. I mean... what are you?

Max:
Well, I'm not from around here.

Liz:
Where are you from?

[Max points upward]

Liz:
Up north?

[Max raises his finger higher]

Liz:
You're not a... an alien, I mean... Are you?

Max:
Well I prefer the term, "Not of this Earth." Sorry. Not a good time to joke. Yeah, I am. Wow, it's weird to actually say it.

Liz:
[Liz stares at him and then starts to leave]

Liz:
Um, I have to go. You know, I'm going to be late for my US Government class. So I'm just gonna...

[She reaches the door but Max holds it close]

Max:
Liz, listen to me. You can't talk to anyone about this. Not your parents, not Maria, no one. You don't understand what'll happen if you do. Now my life is in your hands.

Liz:
September 23rd. Journal entry one. I'm Liz Parker, and five days ago, I died. After that, things got really weird...

Max:
Liz won't tell anyone, she's different.

Michael Guerin:
Really? So how's she react when you told her? 'Great, you're an alien, that's fantastic.'

Maria:
Ok, why are they here? No, don't tell me there's three?

Liz:
Well...

Maria:
I think I'm gonna be sick...

Liz:
Maria knows.

Michael Guerin:
Unbelievable.

Liz:
Max Evans has put a force on me. It's like my whole life changed in an instant. It's just so ironic that when something like this finally happened to me, it was with an alien.

[Liz and Maria are walking back to the cash register together]

Maria:
You are sooo bad girl. Oh, and Max Evans is staring at you again.

Liz:
No way. Maria, that is so in your imagination.

[Liz looks at Max who is sitting at a booth with Michael at the far end of the restaurant. He looks at her and then quickly away]

Liz:
Max Evans? This? No, un uh... it's not...

Maria:
And with those cheeks! Preciosita tan linda!

Liz:
Maria!

Liz:
And, and even if it weren't I'm going out with Kyle. I mean, he's steady and loyal, and he appreciates me.

Maria:
Sounds like you're describing a poodle.

River Dog:
You're afraid... not of the healing. Your fear runs deeper. You fear for someone else, someone you care for a great deal. Take a step back. You cannot stop the flow.

Liz:
I'm sorry.

Max:
So did you and Maria officially break up?

Michael:
I thought so. But the more she says, the more confusing it gets. She wants space, but she still wants me in her life. All I know for sure is that I'm not getting any. Let's grab a burger.

Max:
That's not exactly giving her space.

Michael:
I'm not gonna starve because I have a weird girlfriend.

Max:
You know, Liz's dad is still freaked. I'm not allowed in the Crashdown.

Michael:
Do it anyways, it'll make her hot.

Maria:
I want to break up. I want out because I love you so much. I love you more than you could possibly know.

Michael:
I'm lost.

Maria:
No, I'm lost. And you've been there the whole time to help me through all of it.

Michael:
All of what?

Maria:
This whole thing. Alien, human, the scary stuff, the bad stuff.

Michael:
There was fun stuff too.

Maria:
Yeah, but I haven't been honest through any of it.

Michael:
Listen, if you're tying to tell me you're a bisexual or something I'm cool with that. I'm- Why do you want out?

Maria:
Because, Michael, I don't think I've ever been in. I mean, this girl you've known for the past three years, this Maria, it's just not me.

Michael:
Of course it's you.

Maria:
No, it's not the me I used to be.

Michael:
Things change.

Maria:
Yeah, things change.

Michael:
Just like that? Will you come back to me?

Maria:
I don't know.

Michael:
So, Paul, are you a football player because you look like a football player.

Paul:
Hockey.

Michael:
Hockey. Now there's a man's sport. What's your favorite team?

Paul:
The Rangers.

Michael:
Okay, that's where we go our separate ways.

Max:
I'm not an actor.

Agent:
What, and Keanu Reeves is? All you need is exposure.

Max:
That's the last thing I need.

Liz:
That's it? Tell him what we found out.

Kyle:
No.

Liz:
Kyle, your grandfather was right. You have to tell your father.

Kyle:
I don't think so.

Liz:
Kyle, your family is a damn nightmare. Somebody has to break the cycle of silence.

Kyle:
Yeah, someone should.

Liz:
Yeah, someone should.

Kyle:
Me? Why me? Why should I break the silence?

Liz:
Who cares who breaks it? Just do it!

Kyle:
Let me think about it.

Liz:
No! Just do it. Mr. Valenti? Mr Valenti, could you come in here, please?

Kyle:
Liz, you have no right to intrude on my dysfunctional... Hey, Dad.

Liz:
Hi, Mr. Valenti. Kyle here has something he'd like to talk to you about.

Valenti:
Oh, yeah? What's that?

Liz:
I have to go. Have a really nice talk.

Julius Walters:
[Max wants to audition for a guest part on "Enterprise"] You're a Trekie, aren't you? I knew it, I knew it!

Liz:
At least I've been to L.A.

Max:
I'm not sure Disneyland counts as L.A.

Max:
Uh, listen Liz is on her way over.

Isabel:
[Looking to Michael] Okay we'll leave.

Max:
You guy's don't have to leave.

Michael:
Go, poor Maxwell. For the good of all mankind.

Max:
Michael, that's not what this is about for me.

Michael:
Don't make me beg you to do what you and Liz obviously wanna do any ways. I really don't see a problem with it.

Max:
The problem is treating someone I care about as a thing. To be used.

Michael:
What and that's what I'm about. That's what your saying?

Max:
The words are coming from your mouth Michael.

Isabel:
Ok, guys stop. Enough.

Michael:
Listen Maxwell, you are a sensitive guy, and you have available to you, one of the top pre-seduction lines in history with "it's gonna help me find my home planet", and you're refusing to use it? No guy's that sensitive. Use it.

Liz:
Ok, so what you're saying is that you saved me from a life of watching Kyle barf.

Max:
Liz Parker... I don't think that was ever gonna be your destiny.

Liz:
No?

Max:
No.

Liz:
Ok. Fine. If you know so much, then tell me, Max - - what's my destiny?

Max:
I only know the part I'm hoping for.

Liz:
What are you doin' here, Max?

Max:
Well, I have orders from my planet to take over the Earth.

Liz:
Besides that.

Max:
I want to make sure we can still be friends.

Liz:
Yeah. I mean, we are.

Max:
Good.

Liz:
Why wouldn't we be?

Max:
We really haven't been able to talk since... that night.

Liz:
Max, people do a lot of dumb things when they're drunk. Anyway, I understand.

Max:
And we're friends?

Liz:
Yeah. We're friends.

Max:
Just friends?

Liz:
Yeah.

[Liz turns around and starts to leave and Max grabs her and they start making out. As Liz becomes overwhelmed with emotion, she sees images of something flying through space]

[At school, Alex and Maria are walking down a hallway]

Maria DeLuca:
I have never seen her like this.

Alex Whitman:
So this was like the kiss of the millennium?

Maria DeLuca:
Alex, if they actually do it, she'll probably explode.

Alex Whitman:
Or maybe she'll explode if they don't do it.

[Max and Michael are also walking through a hallway at school]

Max:
Did anything like that ever happen to Maria when you two...

Michael:
No. Maxwell, let me assure you, you have not experienced anything I have not experienced many times or caused to be experienced.

Max:
Then how can you call yourself my friend?

Michael:
What?

Max:
A friend wouldn't have kept something like that to himself.

[Liz starts to head for class and runs into Alex]

Liz:
Oh!

Alex Whitman:
Liz, what's goin' on?

Liz:
Alex, the most incredible thing is happening to me, but I... I don't even know what it is.

Alex Whitman:
What?

[Max is at Michael's apartment talking to Michael and Isabel about what happened with Liz. Isabel is putting away some groceries]

Max:
She said it was as if she was inside the ship looking out... when it came crashing toward Earth.

Michael:
Did she see anyone else on the ship? Like our parents?

Isabel:
Yeah, or Captain Kirk and the Klingons? You got a paper-towel holder?

Michael:
No. What if it's real?

Isabel:
It's not real. What's wrong with you guys?

[Isabel opens the refrigerator and takes a step back from the smell]

Isabel:
Oh, God! Not even baking soda's gonna help with that.

Michael:
You know what, Isabel? If you don't like my new place, you can leave. Continue.

Max:
I see things from inside her head. Maybe she's seeing things stored deep inside me.

Michael:
What do you see inside her head?

Max:
I can't tell you. It's private.

Michael:
Since when do we keep secrets from each other? Maxwell, come on.

Isabel:
Do you have a juicer?

Michael:
Isabel, you're pushing it.

Max:
They're Liz's personal thoughts, Michael... not secrets.

Michael:
Ok, yeah, so they're personal thoughts. How do you know they're real?

Max:
I'm not sure.

Michael:
Can't you just ask her?

Max:
I don't want to embarrass her.

Michael:
Maxwell, if this is real... if there's any chance this is real, you owe it to us and to yourself to find out. And in the meantime, I'm gonna pursue my own avenues.

[Liz walks back towards her locker to go look in a mirror and sees Max walks into the locker room]

Liz:
Max!

Max:
Liz.

Liz:
What are you doing here?

Max:
I just... I wanted to see you.

Liz:
Here?

Max:
I had to know if something was real.

Liz:
If what was real?

Max:
Well, just like you seeing things... I've seen things. And... one of those... things...

[Max slowly looks around the room and there's a slight air of familiarity as in focuses on a shower head]

Liz:
You saw my fantasy?

Max:
I had to know if... if... what I saw was... really from you or if it was just my imagination, which... it definitely... definitely could've been. Except... I've never been in the girls' locker room. And now that I see it, and... well, it... it is the same room... I know I didn't make it up.

Liz:
This is really horrible.

Max:
No, Liz. It's incredible, really.

Liz:
This is not incredible.

Max:
Wait. Please? Listen. Please? The main thing is... I didn't just see what you saw. I felt... what you felt... when you saw me. And I never thought anyone could really... ever feel that way about me.

Liz:
Really?

Max:
Uh... Liz?

Liz:
What?

Max:
You have a hickey... and it's glowing.

[Max touches the glowing hickey and sees a rush of images of military personnel rushing towards something that is beeping]

Liz:
This is getting really weird, Max.

[At Michael's apartment, Isabel and Michael are discussing how these images could be created]

Isabel:
That would mean each of us has this information in some part of us we're just not not conscious of.

Michael:
Or she's getting messages from somewhere or someone else.

Isabel:
Nasedo?

Michael:
I don't know. I mean, why did she see the crash, the soldiers? Maybe it was all planned this way... that this is how we'd find out who we really are... by connecting with humans.

Isabel:
Connecting?

Michael:
The more they connect, the more we find out.

[Liz opens the door of Michaels house and enters]

Isabel:
Hi.

Liz:
Hi.

Michael:
How's it goin'?

Liz:
Strange.

Isabel:
I'll bet.

Michael:
All right. We're leaving now. But I got some Chaka Khan cued up in the CD player.

Isabel:
We're leaving. Bye.

Liz:
Max... everything that we did, everything we felt... was it... was it all just about this... this thing? You know, we don't even know what it is.

Max:
Yet.

Liz:
Max, was it ever just about us? You and me? Because a person could feel like they just served their purpose. You know, like being used.

Max:
Is that what you think? Because you're not the only one who could worry about being used. I mean, some girls would give a lot to see themselves fly through outer space. You know, I'm sure it doesn't compare to other things you could be doing, like watching Kyle barf after a beer blast.

Liz:
I can't believe you just said that.

Max:
Why not?

Liz:
Because it really happened.

Max:
You're kidding me.

Liz:
No. I swear. Last summer. It was a really hot night...

Max:
You know what? No, no... don't tell me.

Liz:
Ok, so what you're saying is that you saved me from a life of watching Kyle barf.

Max:
Liz Parker... I don't think that was ever gonna be your destiny.

Liz:
No?

Max:
No.

Liz:
Ok. Fine. If you know so much, then tell me, Max... what's my destiny?

Max:
I only know the part I'm hoping for.

Isabel:
Okay. I'm just going to make it simple. And I don't even think is that big of a deal anyway so I'm just gonna say it and you can react. There's, there's someone I want to tell about us.

Michael:
I'm glad you don't think that's a big deal.

Max:
Who?

Isabel:
He's name is Jesse Ramirez. You both know him. He's...

Max:
The lawyer that works for Dad?

Isabel:
Yeah.

Max:
And why do you wanna tell him?

Isabel:
Because we've gotten close.

Max:
Close?

Isabel:
Yes, close.

Max:
Meaning you and he are...

Isabel:
Involved.

Michael:
Are you pregnant?

Isabel:
No. We haven't even slept together.

Michael:
Has he seen you use your powers?

Isabel:
No.

Michael:
Why are we having this conversation?

Max:
Why do you need to tell him?

Isabel:
I don't need to, I want to. I want him to know because I want to be honest with him. I love him and I want him to know me. I don't wanna hide. God, do you know how humiliating this is for me? To have to come here and ask your permission to have an open conversation with my boyfriend? Can you just imagine it for a second, put yourself in my position.

Michael:
I'm gonna put this as simple as possible. Isabel, I'm happy you have a boyfriend. Congrats. That said, lie about the alien thing.

Isabel:
He's gonna leave, Max. If I'm not honest with him, he's gonna leave.

Max:
How long have you two been?

Isabel:
Three months. But I know him. I know him. This is the first time I've ever felt his way. I'm in love with him. If I lose this, I don't know what the hell I'm doing here on Earth. I mean, you have Liz, Michael has Maria. This is the first time I've had someone.

Maria:
Where were you?

Michael:
Where was I supposed to be?

Maria:
We were supposed to have lunch at school today.

Michael:
Today's Saturday.

Maria:
Today's Friday. Hello, where are you?

Michael:
I'm right here. Where's Saturday?

Maria:
What, are you guys saving the world from alien invasion?

Michael:
Would that keep you from kicking my ass?

Michael:
You guys are always giving me crap about being impulsive and stupid. Well, you know what's stupid? Sneaking around the desert while your father's watching our every move.

Max:
Shut up, Michael.

Michael:
Whose idea was it to bury the alien stuff anyway? I mean, what are we? Eight? It's called a safety deposit box.

Isabel:
No. No. Max and Michael would never agree to letting anybody else in on the secret. I guess the truth of the matter is I sort of love Jesse not knowing. It's like we're this normal couple.

Kyle:
Nothing's ever easy, is it?

Isabel:
Nope. But, hey, I'm actually glad that you found out. It's kind of nice to talk about it.

Kyle:
No Problem. [laughs]

Isabel:
And Kyle... if you tell anybody, I'll be forced to use my formidable alien powers on you.

Kyle:
Cool. Cool. My day's never truly complete until my life's been threatened by an alien, so...

Maria DeLuca:
Are you OK?

Elizabeth "Liz" Parker:
Yeah, why?

Maria DeLuca:
You're making a cottage cheese milkshake.

Alex Whitman:
Go! Go to him!

Isabel Amanda Evans:
I can't.

Alex Whitman:
Isabel, will you look at what you're doing to your life? You're stopping it. You're killing it. You're sitting at a table with no one. I'm not really here! You need to move on and you need to move past me and you need to start now!

Isabel Amanda Evans:
If I ever have a son, I'm gonna name him Alex.

Alex Whitman:
Wh? Uh, thank you, that's truely er, thanks. Now go!

Max:
Well I guess the natural place to start is... that I'm an alien... a hybrid actually. You know, human DNA mixed up with alien DNA... that kind of thing. Oh, I almost forgot, my sister Isabel and our friend Michael are also a little green around the gills.

Maria:
Girlfriend. Like, I know that we bonded over the summer, but I'm not quite ready to show you the bod just yet.

Max:
No. I was just wondering if you'd heard from Liz yet.

Maria:
Not since you asked me an hour ago. No.

Max:
I heard you on the phone with her.

Maria:
Max, little advice. The girl goes off to some aunt in Florida for the entire summer and barely says good-bye to you. In layman's terms, she blew you off big time. I mean, and look at you. Look, you're like a groveling dog. [in a whiny voice] Have you heard from Liz today? Did Liz call? [end whiny voice] No. That's no good. Look, you've gotta play it cool, all right? Let her come to you.

Nesedo:
Sheriff Valenti, welcome to the ever-burgeoning "I know an alien" club.

Max:
No rock stands a chance against Michael Guerin.

Michael:
Our fearless leader.

Michael:
You're our leader. Why don't you lead us?

Max:
Fine! Crack some more rocks.

Liz:
I'm not a dork, I just enjoy science.

Maria:
So, I hear ex-cons are really great in bed.

Liz:
Oh, Max. Look, I don't know what to do. Calls keep coming in to Congresswoman Whitaker's office. Should I return them, or...

Michael:
Not now!

Liz:
[to Max] We'll talk in trig. [leaves]

Max:
[to Michael] You know, mean people suck.

Liz:
Did Max ask you to do that?

Michael:
What?

Liz:
The whole being nice thing.

Michael:
No. I came up with it myself.

Liz:
I like it.

Isabel:
Listening to my private conversations?

Max:
Why you calling him, he just left.

Isabel:
I was just leaving him a message to thank him for the flowers.

Max:
You already thanked him.

Isabel:
[sarcastically] Yeah, and you guys made him feel really welcome.

Max:
He wasn't invited.

Isabel:
I invited him, before I ever knew there was a party.

Max:
Don't do it again.

Isabel:
Excuse me? Are you forbidding me?

Max:
You can't let anyone new in. It's too dangerous.

Isabel:
Like it was too dangerous to let Liz Parker in?

Max:
That's different.

Isabel:
Yeah, it was. You wanna know how, because I can date someone and keep my mouth shut at the same time. You couldn't.

Max:
That was the past. We gotta think about the future. The one our mother talked about.

Isabel:
Right. Right the king. I'm sorry, how could I forget? All I know is, Max, you may be king, but I am not bowing down to you. Not in this lifetime!

Alex:
I did a striptease in front of her mother. Are you listening to me?

Maria:
One nipple does not constitute a striptease, Alex.

Alex:
She saw my nipple? Oh, God.

Vanessa Whitaker:
You don't remember, do you? Let me give you a piece of history about your planet. Your name was Vilandra and you were beautiful. Even more beautiful than you are now. You had a great love and for him, for us, you betrayed your brother, your race.

Isabel:
No!

Vanessa Whitaker:
You sacrificed him. You sacrificed everyone, even yourself. And history, my dear, always repeats itself.

Valenti:
Address book. Evans. Evans. Guerin. Not a wide circle of friends.

Max:
Tess never had anyone but Nasedo.

Valenti:
And you three.

Max:
Isabel was the only one she was really ever close to.

Valenti:
What about you?

Max:
It was... it was too complicated.

Valenti:
She wanted to jump your bones, huh?

Max:
Something like that.

Valenti:
Screws things up every time.

Max:
Happen to you?

Valenti:
Yeah. In my dreams.

Courtney:
Chill out, NYPD blue.

Alex:
Chill out? Chill out? I spent $150 to rent this costume. And do you have any idea how it feels to walk around all day with a thong up your ass?

Courtney, Maria:
Yes.

Max:
It's about Tess, Isabel's friend. I'm having these daydreams about her.

Micheal:
Daydreams?

Max:
Yeah, where we're together... you know, together.

Micheal:
I guess you're only human after all, huh?

Tess:
Max. My car broke down. Can you believe it?

Max:
No.

Tess:
No?

Max:
No, I don't believe it.

Tess:
What are you talking about?

Max:
You planned this.

Max:
We're not open yet, Sheriff.

Valenti:
I think I know how you feel now.

Max:
What do you mean?

Valenti:
Not having anyone to talk to. Something tearing you up inside. Not being able to get it off your chest.

Max:
Is that what you need to do, Sheriff?

Maria:
Well, if it isn't Prince Charming and Quasimodo.

Liz:
Max likes cherry cola. What does Michael like?

Maria:
Cherry cola with arsenic?

Max:
You broke up? Why didn't you tell me?

Michael:
I don't know if we did or we didn't. It's kind of confusing.

Liz:
Cherry cola on the house

Maria:
Yours is $1.25

Michael:
"I guess it's not so confusing anymore.

Isabel:
We're just as human as you are, Alex. Only we can manipulate the molecular structure of things.

Alex:
What?

Liz:
How is it possible I could be the happiest I've ever been in my entire life and now the saddest, all at one time?

Max:
I think that's what being in love is.

Liz:
Ok, this is my favorite part. It says, "this is the best night of your life."

Max:
Is that really what it says?

Liz:
Well, it's better than "a broken clock is still right twice a day."

Max:
You're right. I like yours better.

Liz:
Ok, let me see yours.

Max:
"Ask a girl to dance with you."

Liz:
Is that really what it says?

Max:
It depends on your answer.

Liz:
Yes.

Max:
Then that's really what it says.

Liz:
Ok.

Liz:
There are days when everything seems wrong, when little things just irk you for no good reason. And then there are days like today when the whole world just sings to you from the minute you open your eyes in the morning, till the minute you shut them again at night, days when you actually enjoy cleaning the milk shake machine.

Alex:
Why on earth, excuse the phrase, why would you be sent here to begin with? What purpose could you possibly serve?

Isabel:
To wipe out the world one annoying teenager at a time?

Customer:
I am Zenaplox from the planet Zetagon. I come to destroy humanity and return to my home planet.

Liz:
Well, then, it's really great that you're starting out with a nice, hearty breakfast.

Isabel:
I want to get the hell out of here. This place is psychologically damaging.

Michael:
This place could hold the answers to everything.

Isabel:
Yeah, I'm sure it's a real mecca for factual information

Max:
[From under Alien head] Save me... I'm a human trapped in an alien body.

Isabel:
You realize we've just lost our last shred of dignity.

Max:
Michael, I have to talk to you about something... personal.

Michael:
Nothing's too personal.

Max:
How do you do it with Maria?

Michael:
Too personal.

Max:
You're the sheriff... you're supposed to protect me. You want me? Well, here I am.

Valenti:
Son...

Max:
Would you treat your son this way?"

Alex:
Oh, it's that obvious? Great. Great. Hey, listen... let me ask you guys a question. As women, do you find that all men are obsessive?

Amy DeLuca:
Yes.

Liz:
Absolutely.

Maria:
No question.

Tess:
Thanks... Dad.

[Jim looks at her questioningly]

Tess:
I just wanted to see what that sounded like.

Valenti:
How'd it sound?

Tess:
A little too weird.

Maria:
I think we just took a huge step in human-alien relations. I love you Michael.

Micheal:
I love you too... but I have to leave. Max, Isabel, and Tess and I are going home.

Maria:
Yeah, I know. Like eventually, right?

Micheal:
We're leaving in a few hours. We have to, I have no choice. I don't want to leave you. But we both knew someday this would happen.

Maria:
How much time do we have?

Micheal:
About an hour.

Isabel:
What if I said I wanted to stay?

Max:
When we came out of the pods and we lost Michael, it was just the two of us in the desert and I knew that I wasn't alone - that I had my sister. To me, earth isn't home and whatever's out there isn't home but you're my home.

Tess:
You okay?

Kyle:
Oh yeah, yeah. It's nothing. Anyway, I just, I don't usually talk about this but uh, my mom left when I was six, and with you being here it's, uh felt like family again. That's all, I don't want to get all weepy or anything.

Tess:
Kyle... Kyle I feel the same way.

Isabel:
So what now Max?

Max:
We save my son.

Isabel:
[Taping themselves with a video camera] We want you to know that we love you so much. We're orphans, we could have ended up anywhere, with anyone, but we got you. What is it they say? There but for the grace of God. I'm sorry, I'm sorry to leave you, but we have to go. I wish we didn't, I wish I could just be your girl forever, but um...

Max:
You were great parents to us. We will always, always love you. Thank you, for everything. And goodbye. [Turns off camera]

Max:
[to Liz] I've been really wrong about a lot. But I was right about one thing. To get you into my life, to be around you. To love you.

Maria:
[to Michael] You opened the door and you came out, why? [Michael doesn't say anything] You stayed for me.

Isabel:
What happens now, Max?

Max:
I have to save my son.

[Michael leaves the Granolith Chamber and finds Liz, Maria and Kyle outside the door]

Maria:
Liz!

Maria:
[to Michael] Tess killed Alex!

Micheal:
What?

Maria, Micheal, Kyle, Liz Parker:
[Michael, Liz, Maria, and Kyle rush into the Granolith Chamber]

Liz Parker:
Max stop! It was Tess. Tess killed Alex. She mindwarped Alex and sent him to Las Cruces to decode the book, but he broke out of the mindwarp and she killed him.

Kyle:
It's true, I was there, I witnessed it.

Max:
Why didn't you ever say anything?

Kyle:
Because she mindwarped me!

Kyle:
[to Tess] You lived in my home, you were like my sister!

Max:
[looking at Tess but to Micheal] How long?

Micheal:
About 3 minutes.

Max:
Everyone out.

Micheal:
Max...

Max:
Now!

[everyone else leaves besides Tess and Max]

[after everyone else leaves the Granolith Chamber]

Max:
[to Tess] Did you kill Alex?

Tess:
I didn't want to. I wish I hadn't, but I did.

Max:
Why?

Tess:
Look Max, the-the clock's ticking, we don't really have time...

Max:
Tell me why!

Tess:
He would have told you what I did and I couldn't let that happen.

Max:
So you just, you just killed him?

Tess:
I didn't mean to. His brain was just so weakened by the mindwarp, and... look, none of this matters now.

Max:
Life matters Tess. My life, your life, his...

Tess:
What matters is getting home, but you could never understand that could you? I might have been able to teach you but that stupid b*tch had you wrapped around her...

Max:
Don't you ever call her that!

Tess:
See! Look how fast you run to her defense! Why couldn't you ever feel that about me? I'm your wife, Max! I'm carrying your child!

Max:
This was all some kind of plan to get pregnant and go home, wasn't it? Home to what, Tess? To Kivar? To our enemies?

Tess:
They're not my enemies, Max.

Max:
You made a deal with them, with Kivar.

Tess:
No, Nacedo made a deal, 40 years ago.

Max:
What was the deal? Tell me!

Tess:
To return home with your child, and deliver the three of you to Kivar.

Max:
And what would happen to us once you delivered us? [Tess doesn't answer]

Max:
How did I ever fall in love with someone like you? How could I ever marry you?

Tess:
You were different - you were a king! Now you're just a boy. [Max raises his hand to Tess' neck] You kill me, Max, you kill our son.

Max:
[agonized] Go. This isn't over, Tess

[Max leaves the Granolith chamber]

[Max gets out of the Granolith chamber]

Isabel:
MAX!

Max:
Quick, go. Let's go!

[Max, Liz, Michael, Maria, Isabel and Kyle run away from the chamber, and stand to watch as the chamber disintegrates and a ship shoots out into the sky]

Max:
[to Liz] I've been really wrong about a lot. But I was right about one thing: To get you into my life, to be around you, to love you.

Maria:
[to Michael] You opened the door and you came out - why? [It dawns on her] You stayed for me.

Isabel:
What happens now, Max?

Max:
I have to save my son...

Kyle:
I carried his body. She made me think it was luggage. She killed him. Tess killed Alex.

Kyle:
No, there's no way I've been mindwarped. I'd remember it.

Maria:
Uh, Kyle? That's the point of being mindwarped, so you don't remember it.

Max:
I need you to protect Liz, Maria and Kyle.

Valenti:
With my life. It's been an honor to know you, Max. It's been an honor.

Max:
Same here.

Tess:
[Tess kisses Max, and gets a flash of him kissing Liz earlier in the episode] You kissed Liz. Don't worry. You won't remember her where we're going

Max:
I always thought when we graduated I would give you my ring. It looks like I won't graduate, so this is something from where I'll be. [He gives her the necklace from the first season]

Liz Parker:
I can't believe that this is what I have of you. I can't believe that after everything...

Max:
Liz. You never slept with Kyle, did you? [Liz shakes her head] I wish... I wish this all could have been different. I wish that so much.

[They kiss]

Liz Parker:
I guess this is goodbye. Just tell me one thing. Do you love her?

Max:
Not like I love you.

Micheal:
There's a lot about you, Maria. There's a lot about you, but I think what means the most to me is that you're open. You know, I can look into your eyes and I can see you. I can see what you're thinking. I can see what you're feeling. How much I mean to you sometimes. How much I piss you off sometimes. But I can always see you.

Maria:
I see you too.

Micheal:
No. No, you don't see me. You know when Max and Liz would kiss and Liz would see get the flashes?

Maria:
Yeah.

Micheal:
And when we would kiss you didn't. I know how much that hurt you.

Maria:
That doesn't matter to me anymore, Michael.

Micheal:
The reason you didn't get the flashes is because I didn't let you get them. I didn't let you see me. I've never let anyone see me before. Because there are things inside of me that I don't want people to see. There's things inside of me that I'm not too proud of. But I've thought about it, and I want you to see me. Take my hands.

[Isabel is kneeling at Alex's grave]

Isabel:
How can I leave now? I haven't even lived yet.

Alex Whitman:
I know how scary it is to have to leave. To leave this world. But as it turns out... it's not so bad. Your heart is your heart; your soul is your soul. That doesn't change.

Isabel:
Why should I listen to you? You're not even real. You're just a figment of my imagination.

Alex Whitman:
Well, then you should really listen, because it's coming from within you. Go home.

Isabel:
Home to what? I was a terrible person where I come from. I betrayed my whole family. What is home, anyway? Half of me is from there. Half of me is from here. What makes one half more important than the other?

Alex Whitman:
I think that's what you have to figure out.

Isabel:
Yeah. Alex, that night. That night at the prom when we danced. It was one of the best nights of my life and I never got to tell you that.

Alex Whitman:
[Alex holds his hand out for her] Milady. [They dance]

Liz Parker:
I jumped off bridges for you, I broke laws for you, I risked getting shot for you, I trusted you! And you go off - God, with Tess! I saved myself for you!

Max:
Saved yourself? You slept with Kyle

Micheal:
Max, I can't go. Ever since we came out of the pods, I've been on some quest to figure out where I belong. I finally found home. The weird thing is... it's here. It's on Earth.

Max:
You of all people... [They hug] Take care of yourself, Michael. I love you.

Micheal:
You're a great brother.

Max:
[to Isabel] I would understand...

Isabel:
What you said before... You're my home too.

Future Max:
3... 2... 1.

Liz:
Well?

Future Max:
I said approximately.

Max:
I felt that... and I know you did, too, and I know you think that... that I need to let you go... for the sake of Michael, and Isabel, and my race... so you went to Tess. But she can't be you. Tess can never be you.

Liz:
Max, we have to stop this. We have to. I am telling you that we have to.

Max:
Go out with me on Friday. There's a Gomez concert in Santa Fe. I have tickets.

Liz:
No. No, Max. I can't go out with you ever again. Please stop doing this.

Max:
I can't.

Future Max:
No. The night of Gomez I came to your room. That's the night that things between us were cemented.

Liz:
Cemented. So when you say cemented, you...

Future Max:
We made love.

Liz:
No, no, we... we didn't.

Future Max:
Liz...

Liz:
No, I have no intention of making love to you or... or anyone else at this particular stage of my life.

Future Max:
I beg to differ.

Liz:
No. Making love to you is the farthest thing from my mind. I... I don't even have protection.

Future Max:
I did.

Liz:
Oh, that's great. There you are, Max the Saint, just walking around with a condom in his back pocket. I... I... I don't even care what happened in your reality. I am not making love to you or anyone until I am ready, and I am just not ready.

Kyle:
You look really great when you're pissed.

Tess:
Yeah, right.

Kyle:
No, I'm serious. I feel, like, all this energy coming from you right now. In order to trim the lamp of wisdom, we must attend to our bodily needs.

Tess:
Let me tell you something, Buddha-boy... I got a lamp that needs some serious trimming.

Liz:
Hi.

Kyle:
Well, you here for a reason, or you just rushed right over 'cause you sensed I might be experiencing some actual joy?

Liz:
I'm so confused.

Alex:
I'm so depressed.

Maria:
Wimps.

Madame Vivian:
This boy... very volatile.

Maria:
That's good for sex, right?

Liz:
What?

Max:
Nothing...

Max:
It's just, seeing you at seventeen again is making all come flooding back to me...

Max:
The way my stomack used to rumble every time i saw you.

Liz:
So, uh, did we got married?

Max:
Liz, you knot i can't...

Liz:
Yeah, I know, you can't talk about it, I'm sorry!

Max:
we eloped! We were nineteen!

Liz:
nineteen? Uou, that is so young, taht is too young!

Max:
that's what I said, but you said that Romeo and Juliet were even younger than us. So we drove to Vegas, got married at the Elvis chapel."Congratulations, kids."

Liz:
So we didn't have a real wedding...

Max:
We had a great wedding, we call Maria, Michael, Isabel and Alex and had them meet us half way.we spend the whole night singing and dancing in some dive outside Phoenix. and at the end of the night "Ishall believe" came on the radio...

Liz:
Oh i love that song...

Max:
I know... Everybody else was exausted, but not us... Oh we dance, just the two of us, and every since that night it have been our song.

Liz:
if we succeed in doing this, i'm not gonna have that night.

Max:
No you won't

Liz:
And what happens to you, i mean you, the future version of you?

Max:
if we succeed a different version of the future will take place, all the events that lead to who i'm 14 years from now will change, the man i'm know will cease to exist

Maria:
Oh my god, its just not kissing that goes on in the eraser room. The Eraser room does two things: Cleans erasers and takes our innocence. Do you know what I mean by "takes our innocence", Liz? The Eraser room has taken some of the best of us...

Alex:
OK, I want some answers, all right? Because first of all, there are rumors going around that last week you were shot here in the cafe. And then at the crash festival you [motions to Maria] were seemingly run over by a car, but then you weren't. And everytime I walk up to you two, you go silent or make up some ridiculous story about Czechoslovakia, which is a country that has not existed for 10 years. So I want the truth, and I want it now.

Liz:
Alex, the reason that we keep on changing the subject is...

Maria:
Cramps. We have cramps, Alex.

Liz:
Yeah, and we didn't even want to talk about it in front of you because we thought it would make you feel really uncomfortable.

Maria:
But if you want really want to know, we can tell you.

Liz:
In really excruciating detail.

Alex:
No. I'm eating.

Liz:
OK, I'm still confused. If you crash-landed in 1947, are you really 16 or are you like 52 in a 16-year-old's body? Or do you guys just age differently? I mean, is like 1 alien year equal to 3 human years?

Max:
You've thought about this a lot, haven't you?

Liz:
Kind of.

Isabel:
Are you insane?

Micheal:
I didn't just wander in, all right? I had a cover story.

Max:
And what was your cover story?

Micheal:
I was selling candies for charity. Peanut cluster?

Max:
And they bought it?

Micheal:
No, they all seemed to be on a diet.

Isabel:
Not the candy, Einstein, the story.

Max:
Maybe I don't really know what it's like for you.

Micheal:
The thing I've realized is the fact that my life basically sucks is a good thing. It's easier. We always have to be able to leave, pack a suitcase, go somewhere else. Maybe 10 years from now, maybe a week from now, maybe tomorrow. So my advice? Don't get in too deep, Maximillian. It only makes us weaker.

Micheal:
Listen, if Hank insulted you or anything...

Liz:
Oh no, no.

Micheal:
You kind of have to ignore him.

Liz:
Sorry... to just show up here.

Micheal:
It's where I live. Thanks.

Liz:
The thing about Czechoslovakians that you sorta have to factor in, is they have these incredibly soulful eyes

Maria:
I mean, what do we even know about these people? Nothing. How do we know that they're not three feet all, green and slimy?

Liz:
I guess we don't.

Maria:
And you know what else doesn't, like, particularly please me? The powers. How do we know they can't just, like, wiggle their noses and, like, poof us into an oblivion?

Liz:
I guess we don't.

Maria:
Okay, you're being, like, so casual about this. I want to choke you!

Maria:
The thing is, we don't know anything about these Czechoslovakians. Are they good Czechoslovakians? Are they bad Czechoslovakians? We don't know. They're just random Czechoslovakians. For all we know, they don't have their passport.

Agent Daniel Pierce:
[pointing to a guy with a scalpel] This man will hurt you.

[Pointing to a guy with a large green syringe]

Agent Daniel Pierce:
This man will help you. Tell me what I need to know, and he will take the pain away.

Max:
Who's inhuman now?

Agent Daniel Pierce:
Open him up.

Agent Daniel Pierce:
If you're here to kill me, Sheriff, it won't do any good. There'll be a new man in charge of the unit in twenty-four hours.

Valenti:
If I wanted to kill you, you'd be dead already.

Agent Daniel Pierce:
Then why are you here?

Valenti:
Because I'm scared. For myself, for my son, for all of us.

Agent Daniel Pierce:
You didn't seem scared last night when you put a bullet six inches from my heart.

Valenti:
There were things I didn't know last night. Things that change everything.

Nasedo:
Michael, if you want to survive, if you want to get back home, you've got to be willing to fight for that. You understand?

Micheal:
You're not who I thought you'd be.

Nasedo:
Neither are you.

Max:
So you're still not going to the wedding.

Mrs. Evans:
She's making the biggest mistake of her life Max. I can't stand there with a smile on my face and pretend to be happy about it.

Max:
You don't and you'll lose her. You and I... We're having problems, and I don't know what to do about that right now. But I hope that eventually, we'll work it out. But you miss your own daughter's wedding and I don't think you'll ever work that out.

Michael Guerin:
[On the phone to Max] We've got bad news Maxwell. Jesse Ramirez is 'ta dah' human. Yeah, nice red blood cells. Not a green one in the bunch.

Kivar:
Stay calm and er, keep smiling Isabel.

Isabel Amanda Evans:
You're not here, you're not really here.

Kivar:
Oh, I am here. I've come for you.

Isabel Amanda Evans:
No, I'm dreaming or sleeping or something.

Max:
If I can have everyone's attention, please. I'm Max Evans, the bestman. Isabel and I, uh, well, I'm sure you all know the story, how they found us. Little kids wandering around in the desert. No one knew where we came from, or where we belonged. We didn't know anything either, who are parents were, how we got there. All we had was each other. Two people took us in, gave us names, made us part of their family, something I'll always - will always - be grateful for. Growing up I was always - I always felt very protective over my baby sister. Always tried to look out for her

[laughs]

Max:
. I guess... what I've come to realize is that she doesn't need me anymore to protect her, she's too strong for that. So, uh,

[holds up his champagne glass]

Max:
to Jesse. Welcome to the family. I think you'll find it's going to be an interesting experience. And to Isabel, I love you. I trust you. And I wish you all the happiness in the world. To Jesse and Isabel.

Isabel:
After all the pain we've caused... I just... I just wanted what we are, what I am, to do something good for a change.

Brad:
[Isabel is inside Liz's dream] Hello, Liz.

Liz Parker:
Hello, Brad... Would you like fries with that? [Brad and Liz makes out. Max appears behind them] I'm with Brad now.

Max Evans:
Brad doesn't even exist. Besides, you want someone who can do this... [snaps his finger and changes the 'weather' so it rains rose petals inside]

Liz Parker:
[giggles] Oh my... [she starts making out with Max]

Isabel:
Even her romantic dreams are boring.

Buddha:
[Isabel is inside Kyle's dream] Remember, young blossom, the most important words...

Kyle Valenti:
Yes, Master.

Buddha:
"To thine own self, be true."

Isabel:
It's Shakespeare.

Buddha:
With every inhale, find the center of yourself. With every exhale, release the tides that binds your energy. [Kyle inhales and exhales in the Lotus position. Isabel snorts] Inhale! Exhale! Inhale! Exhale! [Kyle does so. A ringtone appears] Excuse me... [picks out a cellphone from his pocket] Buddha here. Yeah... When? [Isabel laughs] Prepare the ship. Standby to beam us aboard.

Kyle Valenti:
Master?

Buddha:
Our enemies has arrived, Kyle. We must leave Earth and face the dark legion.

Kyle Valenti:
No, no, no, no. I'm here for inner peace, not that science fiction crap.

Buddha:
Max Evans changed you when he saved your life. You know that. You're an alien now, Kyle. Dude, like, accept your destiny.

[In the episode Viva Las Vegas]

Michael:
These are your aliases. You will use these aliases for the duration of our trip. Sound off.

Kyle:
Harvey Wallbanger

Tess:
Pi?a Colada

Alex:
Tom Collins

Isabel:
Brandy Alexander

Maria:
Margarita Salt

Liz:
Shirley Temple

Max:
Rob Roy

Michael:
And I'm your host Dr. Love

Maria:
Do you wanna know where I was tonight? I was auditioning to be a stripper! Little innocent me.

Michael:
You get the job?

Alex:
I love the smell of formaldehyde in the morning.

Kyle:
Actually Buddha himself first coined the phrase "know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away and know when to run"

Alex:
And yours is obviously a deep and abiding spiritual faith.

Alex:
Doesn't Buddhism disapprove of gambling?

Sheriff Jim Valenti:
Each one of your parents is going to hear from me later today. I expect you back in Roswell this afternoon. Kyle get in the car.

Kyle:
I was up sixteen hundred.

Sheriff Jim Valenti:
Now.

Michael:
Glad I'm an orphan.

Tess:
Yeah me too.

Sheriff Jim Valenti:
Tess, don't make me come back in there.

Isabel:
They can't. They can't just fire a Sheriff.

Kyle:
They can if they're the city council. In the past year, my dad and I have been put through an amazing amount of your crap. You and your Martian friends move in, take over, and obliterate any shred of normalcy. Our lives are no longer ours. Promise me you're gonna stay away from my family. Promise me this is the last time we have to put ourselves on the line for you.

Max:
I can't.

Valenti:
So, why the hell are you poking around a closed crime scene?

Micheal:
If I don't look after us, who will?

Max:
Everyone we touch gets hurt in some way or another. 5 years from now, I don't want you to open your eyes and realize that... that you missed out. You're part of the group. You always will be. But you need to be allowed to... to grow.

Liz:
Why can't you come with me?

Max:
Because I can't. But I'll be watching you, Liz Parker. Wherever you go... and I'll be here when you get back.

Maria:
So how does electricity work?

Kyle:
Why are you lookin' at me? We were both in the same remedial science class for 3 years.

Maria:
Ok, we've got ginko, bee pollen, echinacea, C, D, E, calcium, St.John's wort , and pamprin... What? I was dating Michael Guerin.