The Rugrats Movie

Angelica:
You know, not all dogs go to heaven.

Tommy:
We're off the see the lizard.

Tommy:
Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of yum!

Phil:
Thank Bob.

Lil:
Thank you, Bob.

Phil:
I didn't know she could fly.

Lil:
I think it's cause she's a witch.

Grandpa Lou:
In my day, we has plenty of fun just throwing rocks at each other. Big bag of dirt clods, that's what the kids want.

Drew:
What is it, huh, an electric sponge?

Stu:
Of course not! That was last year.

Stu:
Okay, so maybe real fire isn't the best idea for a children's toy.

Rex Pester:
Young Tammy, Baby Dale, the twins Bill and Jill, Little Chunky, and poor sweet Amelia all vanished without a trace.

Angelica:
They've taken Cynthia, Spike. Come on, you're gonna be my Butthound.

Igor:
[getting of circus train] Serge, you stay here and watch monkeys; I get us coffee.

Serge:
No, no, no, Igor, you stay and watch monkeys, and I get us coffee.

Igor:
Nyet! Monkeys watch you; I GET COFFEE!

Serge:
You know, I think coffee is better in St. Petersburg.

Igor:
Nyet, it is better in Kiev.

Serge:
No; it is better in St. Petersburg.

Igor:
Nothing is better in St. Petersburg!

Minka:
[after seeing the "Underwater Conversion Room"] She havink a BABY, not a gefilte fish!

Charlotte:
You know what they say: "Born under Venus, look for a..."

Charlotte:
Hello?

Chuckie:
Hey, you guys, help me! The monkeys is trying to take Tommy's brother!

Phil:
So?

Lil:
Uh-oh, Tommy, I think your brother's broked again.

Tommy:
Oh no! Dil, are you ok?

Phil:
I think he's gonna explode.

Dil:
Poopie.

Tommy:
What?

Dil:
[shouts] POOPIE!

Everyone:
EWW!

Tommy:
Well, I guess we'll have to change his diapie!

Phil:
What do you mean, "we?"

Phil:
Which way to the hospital?

Tommy:
We're not going to the hospital!

Chuckie:
We have to go somewhere.

[Stu is working on his latest invention to enter in a contest]

Drew:
What is it, huh, an electric sponge?

Stu:
Of course not! That was last year.

[Angelica appears wearing Sherlock Holmes clothes]

Angelica:
They've taken Cynthia, Spike. Come on, you're gonna be my Butthound.

Igor:
[gets off the circus train] Serge, you stay here and watch monkeys. I get us coffee.

Serge:
No, Igor. You stay and watch monkeys, and I get us coffee.

Igor:
Nyet! Monkeys watch you, I GET COFFEE!

[cut to inside the diner, both men are drinking coffee and eating donuts; their train is in the view of the window, as the monkeys climb out and on top of the train]

Serge:
I think coffee's better in St. Petersburg.

Igor:
No. It is better in Kiev.

Serge:
No. It's better in St. Petersburg.

Igor:
Nothing is better in St. Petersburg!

[Dil begins to grunt and grimace; his face has turned dark pink]

Lil:
Uh-oh, Tommy, I think your brother's broked again.

Tommy:
Oh no! Dil, are you ok?

Phil:
I think he's gonna explode.

Dil:
Poopie.

Tommy:
What?

Dil:
[shouts] POOPIE!

[A pooping sound can be heard]

Everyone:
EWW!

Tommy:
Well, I guess we'll have to change his diapie!

Phil:
What do you mean, "we?"

[First lines; The movie begins with the camera is in a jungle and moves in the direction of a mountain in which there is a hidden temple surrounded with Reptar statues. The Rugrats climb the cliff and are at the cave's entrance. The temple is dark and gloomy inside, as we are there, looking towards the outside, as the Rugrats race in. Once in the cave, Chuckie stops]

Chuckie Finster:
Ahh! This place give me the juicebumps!

[A group of bats fly out of the mouth of one of the Reptar statues]

Phil DeVille:
Maybe we should go back!

Lil DeVille:
Very back!

Tommy Pickles:
No, We can't go back now, you guys! Okey-Dokey Jones never goes back! [the babies move near a door-shaped like Angelica's head. They act surprised. Inside the "mouth" is a bright, orange-colored light] Hang on to your diapies, babies, we're goin' in!

Chuckie Finster:
[voice-over] That's Tommy Pickles. He's the bravest baby I ever knowed! [as he talks, Tommy races toward the door. As he gets there, the door slams, while he raced in there once it's open, and after he enters, it slams shut again. Phil and Lil look surprised] And that's Phil and Lil. Uh, uh, well, they, they like worms. [Phil and Lil hold hands and rush in through the door, which closed behind them] And I'm Chuckie. Uh...I'm not so brave. [he's hesitant to enter, but is whipped in by Tommy] But that's okay, 'cause I got Tommy, and he's my bestest friend. [giggles]

[The babiess run to a tower on which is perched an idol. They climb the tower to reach the idol. While trying to take the statuette, the idol becomes a banana split and a trap is released, causing the babies fall back to the ground]

Chuckie Finster:
Watch out!

[Tommy gasped. The boulder starts rolling, and the babies starts to shout while running like the wind to try escape the boulder]

Tommy Pickles:
Keep moving! It's right behind us!

[Suddenly, the floor opens itself in front of them. Tommy, Phil and Lil make the jump, but Chuckie misses his, hanging on the brink]

Chuckie Finster:
Tommy! Help me!

Tommy Pickles:
[looking back at Chuckie and the gate, he then grabs Chuckie's hand, pulling him up] Come on, Chuckie!

[Back to reality:
The boulder was a very pregnant Didi's stomach and body]

Didi Pickles:
Tommy! [the babies scream and run away] You kids shouldn't be playing in here!

[The babies run away at full speed]

Chuckie Finster:
[voice-over] We thought the fun times would last forever. [the babies bumped into Spike, and run face-first into glass patio door, then fall over] But we was wrong.

Didi Pickles:
Oh, my.

Betty DeVille:
[holds onto Didi as she picks up the babies] Upsy-daisy, Didi.

Didi Pickles:
Thanks.

[Betty opens the patio door and let the Rugrats go out. The grown-ups are having a baby shower for Didi]

Susie Carmichael:
Thank you for inviting me to your baby shower, Mrs. Pickles.

Didi Pickles:
Glad you could be here, Susie.

Woman Guest:
What a pretty party dress, Angelica.

Angelica Pickles:
Thank you. My mommy's assistant bought it, especially for my Aunt Didi's party. [Susie laughs while making fun of her sailor dress] Don't say a word.

Aunt Miriam:
All right, I got $20 on 8 pounds, 6 ounces. 8 pounds 6. Who's got 8-7?

Male Guest:
I'm in for 12!

Aunt Miriam:
12 pounds? What are you, crazy?

Chaz Finster:
Gosh, you can hardly tell she's gained any weight.

[While turning over, Didi accidentally knocks over the table with her stomach]

Woman Guest:
Oh, don't worry.

Chaz Finster:
I mean, you know from behind.

Minka Kerpackter:
There you are, Didila. Come. Look what we got for you. Boris, move your tuchus.

Didi Pickles:
A goat? Oh, Mom, you shouldn't have.

Minka Kerpackter:
Nothing better for the little bubula than goat's milk.

Boris Kropotkin:
Except maybe yak. But you try finding good yak these days. [the babies run and bump into the goat and it bleats] He's saying, "Hello". There you go, kinderwund, some chocolate coins.

[The babies take the coins and hide their selves under the table]

Woman Guest:
Everything I, oh...

[On way to table, Chuckie clumsily bumps into the ladies, they all gasp. Pan to bottom of table]

Phil DeVille:
Aren't you gonna eat it, Tommy?

Tommy Pickles:
Nope. I'm saving it for my baby sister.

Chuckie Finster:
Oh, you mean, she finally came?

Tommy Pickles:
Not yet, but they're giving her this big party, so I'm pretty sure today's the day.

Lil DeVille:
Do you think she got losted on her way to the party?

Tommy Pickles:
Hmm, I don't know. Maybe we better go look for her. Come on!

[The babies climb out from under the table]

Chuckie Finster:
Uh, but, Tommy, she could be anywheres.

[Chuckie accidentally bumps into Didi's stomach]

Betty DeVille:
Watch it, pups.

Didi Pickles:
Careful.

Charlotte Pickles:
[on phone] I'll get back to you, Jonathan. I've got to say "hi" to the life of the party. [to Didi, as she pats her stomach with her cellphone] How's our little man?

Didi Pickles:
I told you, Charlotte, Dr. Lipschitz says it's a girl.

Betty DeVille:
Ha! That windbag thought Phil and Lil were intestinal gas.

Aunt Miriam:
Face it, dolly. Riding high, it's a guy.

Charlotte Pickles:
Well, you know what they say, "Born under Venus, look for a-" [her phone then rings] Hello?

Didi Pickles:
Now, now, Dr. Lipschitz is the expert. I don't see any of you with a PHD in Latin.

Betty DeVille:
Yeah, Pig Latin maybe. Well, let's just hope for Tommy's sake it's a girl. I'd hate to think how much my pups would be squabbling if they were both boys.

Didi Pickles:
Uh, uh, uh. Let's not do any gender stereotyping. After all, Stu and Drew are brothers, and they get along just fine.

[Inside the basement, where Stu and Drew are arguing angrily]

Stu Pickles:
Pushy!

Drew Pickles:
Lazy!

Stu Pickles:
Bossy!

Drew Pickles:
Inconsiderate!

Stu Pickles:
Nosy!

Drew Pickles:
Good for nothing!

Stu Pickles:
Busybody!

Both:
WHY CAN'T YOU LISTEN TO ME?!

Drew Pickles:
We're talking about a real job, Stu, with benefits!

Stu Pickles:
I'm not going to waste my life as a clock-punching, paper-pushing, bean-counting... [Drew gasps in shock] Oh, no offense. [pulls down his welding mask and proceeds to weld]

Drew Pickles:
You barely make ends meet now. You got no insurance, no savings, and another kid on the way!

Stu Pickles:
For your information, bro, I am working on something right now that is going to put this branch of the Pickles family on easy street. [puts down his welding mask]

Drew Pickles:
[angrily lifts up Stu's welding mask again] What is it this time, huh, an electric sponge?

Stu Pickles:
Of course not! That was last year. [reveals his skeleton of the Reptar Wagon] This, this is the Reptar Wagon! The ultimate in toddler transportation! The perfect children's toy!

Lou Pickles:
[while fixing an old radio] In my day, we had plenty of fun just throwin' rocks at each other. Big bag of dirt clods, that's what the kids want.

Stu Pickles:
The Reptar Corporation is holding a toy design contest and the winner gets $500!

Drew Pickles:
[sarcastically] Ooh!

Stu Pickles:
And there'll be plenty more if this toy's a hit, and I'll be famous!

Drew Pickles:
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what you said when you built that stupid thing.

[Drew points to a Dactar glider, which is hanging suspended from the ceiling]

Stu Pickles:
Maybe Dactar was a little bit complex, but...this...this...watch! [speaking into a microphone with his normal voice] I am Reptar! Hear me roar!

Reptar Wagon:
[Stu's voice, distorted] I am Reptar! Hear me roar!

[The Reptar Wagon spits fire across the garage. Drew jumps out of the way while Stu runs up and puts the fire out with his extinguisher]

Lou Pickles:
[putting out some flames on his sleeve] Con-flam it! Can't a man work in his own basement without gettin' barbecued?!

Stu Pickles:
Okay, so maybe real fire isn't the best idea for a children's toy.

[Drew's shirt is smoldering as he glares at Stu, who quickly sprays him with the fire extinguisher]

[Cut to Tommy's room, which was remodeled for the new baby. One side is blue, for Tommy's side, which has a Dummi-bear bed, a "Smile!" poster and a trunk with smiles painted all over, The new baby's side is pink, with a crib festooned with balloons and an "It's a girl!" banner on the wall. The babies enter the room to their amazement]

Rugrats:
Oh!

Chuckie Finster:
Tommy, somebody's been coloring your room.

Tommy Pickles:
Yep, it's for my new sister.

Phil DeVille:
How are we gonna find her, Tommy?

Chuckie Finster:
Yeah, we don't even know what she looks like.

Lil DeVille:
Well, she's a girl like me, so we know she'll be prettyful.

Angelica Pickles:
[enters, carrying a big bunch of cookies using the lower part of her dress] Oh, brother! You dumb babies got a lot to learn about the facts of lice. [shoves babies en route to table] Now, get out of my way. [dumps the cookies on the table] I gotta get back to the dessert table before the grownups get all the good stuff.

Tommy Pickles:
Angelica, can you help us find my baby sister?

Angelica Pickles:
I wouldn't be in such a big hurry if I was you, Tommy. 'Cause when the new baby gets here, she's gonna gets all the toys and the love and the attention. And your mommy and daddy will forget all about you. It'll be like, "Look, Deed...there's that little bald kid in the house again."

Tommy Pickles:
My mommy and daddy won't forget me.

Angelica Pickles:
That's what Spike said before you were born. Back when his name was Paul.

Tommy Pickles:
Paul?

Angelica Pickles:
Yeah, but, then you came along and they put him out in the rain and he turned into a dog.

Tommy Pickles:
That's not gonna happen to me, Angelica. My mommy and daddy will love me no matter what!

[Susie is heard outside, singing to the tune of the first couple of lines of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star", "The ABC Song" and "Baa, Baa, Black Sheep". Boris accompanies her on accordion]

Susie Carmichael:
[singing] A baby is very neat, a baby is a special treat.

Angelica Pickles:
[looks on from Tommy's room]Ugh! Who does Susie Carmichael think she is?

Susie Carmichael:
[singing] A baby has lots of toes, a baby has a tiny nose. [Angelica leaves while the other babies watch from inside. Cut to outside. All are singing, unless specified] A baby is a little dickens, a baby is a cuddly chicken. [Angelica is next to Didi's belly, chuckling, as she plans to make her move] A baby is lots of joy.

Angelica Pickles:
[singing; barging in] A baby will get all the toys!

Susie Carmichael:
[whispers] What are you doing? [continues singing] A baby has a smiley face...

Angelica Pickles:
[singing] A baby is from outside space!

Susie Carmichael:
[whispers] Angelica!

Angelica Pickles:
[whispers] Susie!

Susie Carmichael:
[singing] A baby is extra fancy.

Angelica Pickles:
[singing] A baby poops in his pantsies! [laughs]

Susie Carmichael:
Cut it out!

Angelica Pickles:
No!

[Music switches to a Tejano beat, using different arrangement. The babies climb outside to watch]

Susie Carmichael:
[singing] Like a birdie, singing in a tree!

Angelica Pickles:
[singing] More like Reptar, screaming in your ear!

Both:
[singing] A baby is a gift, a gift from a Bob! A baby is a gift from a Bob, Bob, Bob! A baby is a gift.

[Angelica does a gagging gesture]

Susie Carmichael:
[singing] A gift from a Bob!

[Cut to under a table, where the Rugrats have crawled underneath. Tommy and Chuckie are talking, while music continues under]

Chuckie Finster:
Do you really think babies are a gift from a Bob?

Tommy Pickles:
I don't know. Why?

Chuckie Finster:
Because if Bob bringed a gift, it's probably one of them. [points to the baby shower gifts on a nearby table]

[Return to Angelica and Susie, music reverts to "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star", though the Tejano flavor remains]

Susie Carmichael:
[singing] A baby is very special!

Angelica Pickles:
[singing] A baby is, is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!

[Song ends, Angelica's screaming has induced Didi's labor]

Didi Pickles:
[painfully groans in discomfort] Oh! Betty, it's time!

Betty DeVille:
It's time? Oh, boy. Everybody to your stations, people! Howard, get Stu. Charlotte, call the hospital. Deed, start your breathing. Come on, good girl.

[Didi begins her rhythmic breathing. The other grownups pick up the babies]

Lou Pickles:
[picks up Tommy] Up we go, sprout. We got a Pickle to deliver.

Howard DeVille:
[picks up his twins] Let's go to the car, kids.

[During the rush, the goat has broken loose and is destroying the party. While the goat destroys things, it sets off the sprinkler system]

Charlotte Pickles:
Would somebody turn that sprinkler off?!

[The goat comes inside, dragging a chair on his leg. Lou and Tommy look on]

Lou Pickles:
Now, that's what I call a "baby shower!"

[Cut to exterior of the "Lipschitz Maternity Arts Building", 3 cars race to the front entrance. Cut to interior, looking at a bank of monitors with Dr. Lipschitz's image on each monitor]

Dr. Lipschitz:
[on monitors] Welcome to the Werner P. Lipschitz Center for Holistic Birthing, offering the modern parent the state of the art in primitive birth alternatives.

[While Lipschitz speaks, a statue with Lipschitz holding several babies comes into view. Then, cut to a board that displays the names of mothers giving birth, in a fashion of the "Arrivals" and "Delays" board at airports. The gang arrive at the reception desk]

Nurse:
Oh, Mrs. Pickles! You weren't due till next week, now, dear. Geez, well, I guess we could try and squeeze you in somewhere, huh?

Didi Pickles:
But Dr. Lipschitz promised us the all-natural Zen experience in the Tibetan terrace room!

Boris Kropotkin:
In my day, a woman just dropped her baby in the potato field and kept going.

Nurse:
Ah, yes, the old country room. [opens door to a room that has maternity equipment in a middle of a potato field, complete with cows and a farmer]

Didi Pickles:
Do you have anything a little cleaner?

Nurse:
Well, we could try the aquatic immersion room.

[The gang looks at a window of a tank that has fish, a sea turtle, dolphins, and ruins, plus the pre-requisite maternity gear. The new mother pictured is in scuba gear, while her doctor is in an old-fashioned sea diver's outfit]

Minka Kerpackter:
She's having a baby, not a gefilte fish!

[A couple of doctors enter; one of them is Dr. Lucy Carmichael]

Lucy Carmichael:
Oh! Stu, Didi, Randy called to say you were on your way. [laughs] I didn't realize you were bringin' the whole party! How far apart are the pains, hon?

Stu Pickles:
Oh, they're... [Didi squeezes his hand very tight] pretty much constant.

Lucy Carmichael:
Okay, Didi, let's go and get you settled in, huh?

[The babies are placed in a playpen]

Lou Pickles:
Here you go, sprout.

Didi Pickles:
[to Tommy] Don't worry, sweetie, mommy's going to be okay.

[Grown-ups leave; Didi continues her breathing exercises]

Chuckie Finster:
Oh, gosh, Tommy, your mommy sure seems upset.

Lil DeVille:
Maybe your baby sister really is losted.

Tommy Pickles:
Whoa! Maybe we can buy her a new one.

[Tommy pulls out his chocolate coin]

Chuckie Finster:
Where're we gonna find a baby in a place like this?

[Pull away to reveal several doctors walking around, carrying babies. The babies, in the usual fashion, break out of the playpen, and crawl out without being caught by Lou and Boris, who are too busy playing "Fish"]

Lou Pickles:
You got any queens?

Boris Kropotkin:
Go fish.

[The babies enter the newborns' nursery]

Phil DeVille:
Hey, a baby store.

Lil DeVille:
Nice and wiggly.

Tommy Pickles:
You guys, help me pick one my mom will like.

[The song "This World is Something New to Me" begins as babies cry and Chuckie steps on one of the light switches on the floor. For your convenience, the newborns' lines will be identified by the artist singing it]

Lisa Loeb:
[singing] Where am I?

B-Real:
[singing] How did I get here?

Patti Smith:
[singing] Things look different than yesterday.

Lou Rawls:
[singing] So this is the world?

Laurie Anderson:
[singing] I miss my old womb.

Gordon Gano:
[singing] The wallpaper here just ain't the same.

Fred Schneider:
[singing; hides under a blanket] This world is something strange.

Lisa Loeb:
[singing] I'm wet.

Phife Dawg:
[singing; wrapped in a blanket] I'm cold!

Lenny Kravitz:
[singing; waggles his diaper] I need a change!

Chorus:
[tossing their blankets in air] This world is something new to me.

Phife Dawg:
[singing] Oh, my head! What is this? I can't take it!

Dawn Robinson:
[singing; on an adjacent monitor] Me either!

[Robotic camera zooms in on next baby]

Beck:
[singing] I'm hungry.

Lou Rawls:
[singing] I'm tired.

Jakob Dylan:
[singing; pounds a crib floor to make a pacifier bounce] I'm irritated!

Lou Rawls:
[singing; moves his legs] But I love the extra leg room.

Patti Smith:
[singing; points to her bellybutton] Man! They cut my cord!

Iggy Pop:
[singing; looks in his diaper] Ohoho, consider yourself lucky!

B-Real:
[singing] This world is way too big!

Iggy Pop:
[singing; baby points at Chuckie, who's pressing his face against the glass] And populated by fuzzy pigs.

Chorus:
This world is something new to me.

Fred Schneider:
[singing] This world is such a gas. [farts, causing his diaper to inflate]

Kate Pierson and Cindy Wilson:
[singing] P.U., where's your class?

Chorus:
This world is something new to me.

[2 baby carriers collide with each other as the Rugrats push them around]

Beck:
[singing] Quiet! Can't a guy get some shuteye?!

[The camera zooms in on his eye]

Patti Smith:
[singing] It's so noisy in here!

Iggy Pop:
[singing] I can barely hear myself suck! [grabs a bottle from Chuckie and chugs it down]

Jakob Dylan:
[singing] The food here tastes pretty good.

Phife Dawg:
[singing] My compliments to the chef.

Dawn Robinson:
[singing] And you gotta holler to get fed.

Lou Rawls:
[singing] But I could get used to that.

[The babies cry, Chuckie falls on floor onto a light switch]

Lisa Loeb:
[singing] This world is way too bright.

Beck:
[singing] Can't somebody turn down the light?

Gordon Gano:
[singing; looks inside his diaper] So that's what that thing looks like.

Jakob Dylan:
[singing] All things here are meant for play,

[Throws a pacifier; robotic camera follows it]

Fred Schneider:
[singing] It's gonna be a real cool day.

Chorus:
This world is something new to me. [one of the newborns screams Ba-da-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu. Baby boy; "Real cool", while another one says, "La-la-la-la!". As a rainbow forms from the "fountain" at the circle-shaped light] This world is something new to me.

[Robotic camera retracts and monitor shuts off as number ends. Lou and Boris enter the nursery]

Lou Pickles:
There you are!

Boris Kropotkin:
Oy, gevalt! You kinder gave my ticker such a scare!

[Lou pick up the babies and he, Boris and the babies leave the nursery. As they leave, they shut the lights out and the rainbow from the musical number fades away]

[Inside Didi's room. Apparently, the room she has chosen is the usual, ordinary birthing room. Didi's rhythmic breathing continues, though it's now at a faster pace. The staff work on Didi while Dr. Lucy gives orders]

Lucy Carmichael:
All right, Didi, you can do it. Push now! [to the staff] Have we got a good reading on the EFM?

[Didi screams. We cut to what seems to be a graphic representation of a baby being born, from a baby's point of view inside Didi's body. In order, we see a blast of blue light, a group of planets, a school of fish mingling in aquatic plant life, frogs, dinosaurs, dolphins and monkeys, stonehenge, the Sphinx, and pyramids, atoms and finally, bright light, all of them rendered in CGI. These items zoom by while the baby is born. A grand version of the "Rugrats" theme song plays under, and here we cut back to still inside Didi's body, still looking from the baby's point of view, which starts out as out of focus]

Lucy Carmichael:
Here it comes. Gorgeous!

Stu Pickles:
Deed, she's so beautiful. She's...She's a boy!

[The baby's eyes are now in focus, as he is handed to Didi. He starts crying very softly, and kind of adorably]

Didi Pickles:
Hello, my wonderful, sweet baby boy.

[Switch back to audience's point of view, where we now see the new baby in Didi's arms softly crying and hiccuping. He's wrapped in a blue blanket. Stu wipes the tears from his eyes as Didi lets him grab her finger]

Stu Pickles:
Well, I guess we won't be naming him after my mother.

Didi Pickles:
He doesn't look much like a Trixie. What about my cousin Dylan?

Stu Pickles:
Dylan Prescott Pickles. Hmm.

[The nurse is writing down the name, as the baby is sucking on Didi's finger]

Nurse:
Dil Pickles.

[Stu and Didi hear what the nurse said, and realize what a great name it is]

Stu Pickles:
Yeah...I like it.

[Stu and Didi look at their new son Dil, who looks up at his father and smiles at him. Grandpa takes Tommy into Didi's room. After being placed next to Dr. Lucy, Tommy gives her his chocolate coin]

Lou Pickles:
Here you go, sprout. [gently puts down Tommy next to Didi]

Didi Pickles:
Tommy, I want you to meet someone very special. This is your brother, Dylan. Dil, this is Tommy.

[Dil, sucking on a pacifier, looks at Tommy]

Tommy Pickles:
[gasps in wonder] Baby... [reaches his hand out]

Didi Pickles:
See? They already love each other.

[Dil hiccups before he pulls Tommy's nose. Tommy shakes his head until Dil lets go of him. Tommy starts wailing. This in turn causes Dil to start crying and wailing]

Betty DeVille:
Well, that's a start.

[Cut to exterior of the Pickles house. Caption "Four Weeks Later", a gong sounds. Cut to the kitchen, where Stu and Didi are in their morning clothes, and the kitchen is a big mess. Didi is literally sleeping in the kitchen sink, among the suds. Dil is crying continuously nonstop]

Stu Pickles:
Didi, what are we gonna do? He hasn't stopped crying since we brought him home!

[Pan to playpen]

Phil DeVille:
Somehow it's not as much fun around here anymore.

Chuckie Finster:
Yeah! What's your brother so sad about?

Tommy Pickles:
I don't know! But whatever it is, it must be really bad.

Lil DeVille:
Maybe he's broked!

Tommy Pickles:
What?!

Both:
Broked!

[A monkey's head on a cymbal doll that Lil was holding pops off]

Tommy Pickles:
Broked? [Stu, Didi and a still-crying Dil walk by] He's not broked! He's, uhh...just a little loud!

Angelica Pickles:
Ooh! That baby's getting on my nerves!

[Angelica furiously goes into another room and angrily slams the door. Lou is in his char, sleeping as a fishing show is seen. The goat is next to him, also sleeping. Angelica changes the channel and turns up the volume. The first thing she sees is a commercial. Caption:
"Coming Soon". The commercial featured monkeys and two ringmasters in a circus ring]

Announcer:
Direct from Moscow, the Banana Brothers Monkey Circus! Featuring the most amazing monkeys since Brezhnev! This is real monkey business, so Trotsky on down. The Banana Brothers Monkey Circus! [circus logo slides into view]

Angelica Pickles:
GRANDPA! CAN WE GO TO THE CIRCUS?!

[The goat bumps into the armchair's back]

Lou Pickles:
It's enough of a circus around here already!

[Cut to black, then fade to the exterior of the Pickles' house at night. Dil cries. Caption:
"Four O'Clock In the Morning"]

Stu Pickles:
[exhausted] Oh, for the love of Pete. What do you want from us? What? What? [lays on the floor with Dil]

[An American flag is waving on the TV. Didi looks in the Lipschitz book]

Didi Pickles:
Oh, there must be something in here we missed. Somewhere, somehow, something!

Stu Pickles:
There must be. Let me see here! [grabs the book from Didi and looks inside] Cats, colic, Creole baby food. Uh, oh yeah, here it is. Crying... [we skim the text of the book as he reads it. After the second "infant", we cut to his blood-shot eyes, then to an exhausted him and Didi on the couch] Although a baby's crying signifies a disruption in the infant-parent matrix, the good-enough parent pacifies the infant during this period of primary narcissism, foregoing their own needs, sublim-, sublimating, sublimating all their own needs too.

[Stu and Didi fall asleep. Dil stops crying, only to see a giant Dr. Lipschitz rotating up from behind the couch. Two babies, with books for wings, fly off of the doctor, as he is lit up. He starts to sing]

Dr. Lipschitz:
[singing] Raising a baby is a serious venture. [Stu and Didi "wake up"; one of the winged babies take away the Lipschitz book, while the other baby picks up Dil and takes him away] Not to be embarked upon by the faint of heart. [plops dunce caps on Stu and Didi] Parents must make choices that are perfect and wise, / For you're doing something wrong when the baby cries. [a book on top of a pile of books opens, and he picks up the couple and drops them into some sort of netherworld. In that world, Stu and Didi races up a "staircase" of books] You must consider, the psychology of an infant, [Stu and Didi then appear as small babies - Stu in diapers, and Didi all wrapped up, sucking on a pacifier] Nature vs. Nurture, / Feed the ego; starve the mind. [Twin Lipschitzes appear on either side of the crib. They embrace each other, then turn into a Rorschach print, which he holds, while sitting in a chair] You must anticipate each crisis sure to arise, / For you're doing something wrong when the baby cries. [a saw saws a hole underneath Stu & Didi, then, they fall through. They are picked up by a giant stork by its claws, holding him inside its beak, while flying with a flock of storks. Cut to a puppet theater, with puppeteer Lipschitz holding Stu and Didi puppets. Tommy and Dil snatch the puppets from him, and fight over them] Don't forget the older when attending to the younger, / Sibling rivalry can damage all of you. [the Pickles' house plops on top of them. As its walls bulge, Stu & Didi rush out with Dil, dodging falling giant baby items - rattle, baby bottle, safety pin] Be a mother, don't smother, / Why do you want a neurosis? [Dil grows unbelievably large, crushing Stu & Didi] Failure to oralise can lead to toilet training disturbances. [Dil's diaper bulges, then explodes. Cut to Stu, changing Dil's diaper. He pops out of a diaper pail, yelling] Wrong! [cut to Didi, rocking Tommy & Dil to sleep. They start to cry when he rolls up a window and shouts] Wrong![cut to Stu, strolling Dil with Tommy on his back. He looks with a magnifying glass, as Drew, Betty and Charlotte look on] Careful, now! [cut to Dil crying, in an auto carrier. Stu and Didi rush to his aid, when he, with Chaz, Lou and Howard looking on, opens the roof and says] No, no, no! Bad parents! Bad parents! [cut to Stu, Didi and Dil rushing through the city. The winged babies picked them up and flew them to a temple of justice. He appears as a "lawyer"] Raising a baby is a complicated venture. / Not to be embarked on by a weaker constitution. [then appears as a giant baby, standing on the table, between Dil and Tommy] It's really something different, from what we fantacise, / You are doing something wrong when the baby cries. [leaps to the couple. Then, he goes to a jury of Dils, which gives "thumbs down". The couple magically appears in prison garb, and a ball and chain] It's really very different, from what we fantacise, / You are doing something wrong when the baby...starts to...cry!

[Tommy plops a giant book on top of the couple. The dream ends, waking up the couple. They look at each other as Dil cries]

[Fade into a night scene, where Didi is reading a bedtime story to Tommy]

Didi Pickles:
And then the wizard looked down at the little boy and said: "your wish has been granted". And the little boy looked...

Stu Pickles:
[enters with the still-crying Dil] Deed! Help!

Didi Pickles:
[to Tommy] I'll be back, sweetie.

Stu Pickles:
All I did was cough, Deed. I tried not to, but I had a feeling in my throat. And then I coughed! And now he's crying! [Dil hiccups] And now he's got the hiccups! [sobs]

Didi Pickles:
Oh, Stu. [places a baby pacifier into Stu's mouth. He stops crying and sucks on it; she cranks a baby mobile] Stu, why don't you sing Dil a lullaby?

Stu Pickles:
[spits out the pacifier] I'm too tired to sing...

[Dil hiccups]

Didi Pickles:
All right. I'll make something up.

Stu Pickles:
Good.

[Tommy holds up his book, but he's ignored. Didi yawns. The couple starts to sing, ad-libbing as they go along]

Didi Pickles:
[singing] Baby, please, rest your head.

Stu Pickles:
[singing] Yeah...now it is time for bed.

Didi Pickles:
[spoken] That's good.

Stu Pickles:
[spoken] Thanks.

Didi Pickles:
You're cuter than, uh...

Stu Pickles:
[singing; chuckles] Uncle Ned!

[They both giggle]

Didi Pickles:
[singing] Our little...

Stu Pickles:
[singing] Uh...quadruped?

Didi Pickles:
[spoken] Oh, Stu...

Stu Pickles:
[spoken] Oh.

[Dil is whimpering, as if he's scared]

Didi Pickles:
[spoken] It didn't work.

Stu Pickles:
[spoken] I know.

Didi Pickles:
[spoken] He's still awake.

Stu Pickles:
[spoken] I got one. I got one.

Didi Pickles:
[spoken] Okay. [hands Dil off to Stu]

Stu Pickles:
[singing; dances with Dil in his arms] Twinkle! Twinkle! How times flies...

[Dil hiccups]

Didi Pickles:
[singing] Slowly in the starry skies.

Stu Pickles:
[singing; getting his eye very close to Dil] Baby, please, close your eyes!

Didi Pickles:
[singing] Shh, shh, shh...you're as sweet as...

Stu Pickles:
[singing] Apple pies!

[Tommy holds up one of Stu's slippers, but he's still ignored]

Didi Pickles:
As you grow, and love and play... [tucks Dil in his crib as he hiccups again]

Stu Pickles:
[singing] In our hearts, you'll always stay.

[A dejected Tommy walks away with his book and Stu's slipper. Stu kisses Dil]

Didi Pickles:
[singing] So sleep and dream the night away...ayy... [leans her head on the side of Dil's crib. lights are turned out. Dil falls asleep. She kisses Dil]

Stu Pickles:
[spoken] Ah, that was good.

[Stu and Didi walk out of the boys' room. Tommy is in the closet, holding one of Stu's slippers. He sings his own line of the lullaby, to himself]

Tommy Pickles:
[singing] Baby, please, rest your head. Now it is time for bed. Please stop. Don't you see? I want mom and dad for me. [shed some tears while holding the slipper close to himself and hugs it]

[The camera is focused again on Dil, who hiccups a little. Cut to outside, where Spike is also forgotten, in the rain. He howls as the camera pans up to the sky]

[The next morning, Dil cries, the babies are playing inside a crate to be used to ship the Reptar Wagon to Japan. Lou finds them playing among the foam peanuts]

Chuckie Finster:
Oh, darn.

Lou Pickles:
Hey, sprouts, crate's no place for you to play. You wouldn't want to get shipped to Japan with Reptar, now would you? [dumps the babies out of the crate, picks it up, and moves it to the next room] I better put this where I can keep an eye on it.

[We see Dil nibbling on what was Tommy's blanket]

Chuckie Finster:
Dil, that's Tommy's blankie.

Tommy Pickles:
Yeah, it used to sleep with me before we even got you.

Dil Pickles:
[hits Tommy with his rattle] My blankie!

Chuckie Finster:
He's not very nice. [Dil hits him with the rattle] Ow!

Lil DeVille:
That's not how you get things from a brother, Tommy.

Tommy Pickles:
It's not?

Lil DeVille:
No, it's not. Here, watch. [shoves Tommy and Chuckie, then tries to take a Reptar doll from Phil]

Phil DeVille:
Hey, that's my Reptar, Lillian!

Lil DeVille:
Is not, Phillip!

Phil DeVille:
Is too, Lillian!

Lil DeVille:
Is not!

Phil DeVille:
Is too!

Lil DeVille:
Is not! [tosses Phil to the floor. The arguing immediately stops] See, Tommy? Now you try it.

[Tommy walks over to Dil and smiles innocently at him, before grabbing the bear, trying to yank it out of Dil's hands]

Dil Pickles:
Teddy mine!

Tommy Pickles:
Mine!

Dil Pickles:
Mine!

Tommy Pickles:
Mine!

Dil Pickles:
Mine!

Tommy Pickles:
Mine!

Dil Pickles:
Mine! [hits Tommy on the head with his rattle]

[The babies continue to tug at the teddy bear]

Phil DeVille:
Gosh, Tommy learns fast.

Lil DeVille:
Yeah.

[Lou and Stu take the Reptar Wagon from the basement]

Stu Pickles:
Hurry, Pop, they'll be here to pick it up any minute.

[Angelica and Drew come over]

Angelica Pickles:
Daddy, why can't I watch Shirley-lock Holmes at our house? I'll never be able to hear it with that new baby squawking the whole time!

Drew Pickles:
Now, sweetheart, Daddy's gotta put in a little overtime today, so that Mommy won't be so ashamed of his quarterly earnings.

[Stu answers the door]

Angelica Pickles:
Hi, Uncle Stu. Sorry to hear your pony is so slow.

Stu Pickles:
But we don't have a pony Angelica.

Angelica Pickles:
[to Drew] Then how come you told Mommy, Aunt Didi got saddled with a loser?

Stu Pickles:
"Loser"?

Drew Pickles:
[laughs nervously] He-He...I...

[Dil's crying is heard from upstairs]

Stu Pickles:
Excuse me, bro. My tax deductions are CRYING! [angrily slams the door]

Drew Pickles:
[furiously opens the door again and angrily puts Angelica's things inside] YOU CAN'T DEDUCT THEM IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANY INCOME! [slams the door]

[Tommy and Dil are still arguing over the teddy. The other babies watch, while Chuckie is exhibiting signs of boredom]

Stu Pickles:
Tommy! Dil! Boys, what are you doing?!

Chuckie Finster:
Ohh...

Stu Pickles:
Dil...let's say we give Tommy a little turn with the bear, huh? [tries to take the teddy bear, causing Dil to start wailing] Or not. [returns the teddy bear to Dil. This stops Dil's crying, but now Tommy cries] Hey, champ, [picks up Tommy] why don't you come with me for a minute? I got something to show you that's even better than your old teddy bear. [takes him to his workshop]

[Chuckie watches as Dil naps comfortably with the teddy bear]

Stu Pickles:
[after setting him on the workbench] We weren't going to give you this until you were a little bit older, but I think now's the right time. [holds out a pocket watch and gives it to Tommy] Shiny, huh? [opens the watch to reveal a taped photo of Tommy and Dil inside] And Grandpa Lou put your picture inside. [Tommy looks at it, intrigued] I know it's hard, Tommy. You have a little brother now, and that's a big change. [Tommy scowls and puts down the watch] Uh, Dil can be pretty tough to get along with, huh? But sometimes little brothers, they aren't everything you'd hoped they'd be. [opens a drawer, then pulls out a picture of himself and Drew, when they were kids] That's why big brothers have got to have faith. And one day, you'll see...he'll change. After all... [puts a chain on the watch] you've got responsibility now. I know I can trust that you'll stick by Dil's side and be a swell big brother. [puts Tommy on his lap]

Tommy Pickles:
[looks at the watch in his hands; thinking] Sponsatility...

[Cut back upstairs, where a goat is eating sleeping Lou's newspaper. The babies stand and look at the Reptar Wagon]

Phil and Lil:
Wow!

Chuckie Finster:
What is that, you guys?

Lil DeVille:
Reptar!

Phil DeVille:
On wheels!

Chuckie Finster:
What do you think it's for?

Phil DeVille:
I don't know.

Lil DeVille:
[climbs into the wagon] I bet it could take us to the baby store.

Phil DeVille:
Great idea, Lillian. We could take Dil to the hopsicle and get Tommy's money back.

Lil DeVille:
[climbs out] Yeah, it's money back bearanteed.

Chuckie Finster:
Guys! Guys, Tommy's not gonna be happy about this.

Lil DeVille:
[while he and Lili lug Dil towards the wagon and places him in there] Well, he's sure not happy now.

Chuckie Finster:
Well...

Lil DeVille:
You watch. Once Dil goes back to the baby store, Tommy will be happy here.

Chuckie Finster:
I don't know about this.

Tommy Pickles:
[enters the room] What are you doing?

Phil DeVille:
We, uh, actually, Lillian was, uh...

Lil DeVille:
We're taking Dil back to the hopsicle, Tommy. We're gonna get your moneys back.

Tommy Pickles:
What?! You can't do that. My mommy and daddy wanna keep him!

Chuckie Finster:
See? See?

Phil DeVille:
Why? All he does is cry and poop.

Tommy Pickles:
Well, so do you.

Phil DeVille:
I don't cry that much!

Tommy Pickles:
Well, you poop an awful lot!

Phil DeVille:
Look who's talking, Mr. Chocolate Pants!

Tommy Pickles:
I am not a poopie monster!

[Angelica is in the living room, watching "Shirley-lock Holmes", it's about to go to a commercial, when the title sequence for that show is displayed]

Announcer:
..."Shirley-lock Holmes, Girl Detective", right after these messages.

Lil DeVille:
Poopie, poopie, poopie.

[Disturbed by the babies' noise, Angelica goes and ask them kindly to make less noise]

Phil DeVille:
We thought you'd be happy, Tommy!

Tommy Pickles:
Well, I'm not!

Angelica Pickles:
Hey, babies. Knock it off! Cynthia and me are trying to watch TV! [Dil sees Cynthia and swipes her from her] Huh? Hey, hands off the merchandise, pinkie.

[Angelica and Dil tug at Cynthia, only for Angelica to lose her grip and fall into the crate]

Phil and Lil:
Pretty good.

[Angelica brushes off some foam peanuts and growls]

Tommy Pickles:
Be nice, Angelica. He didn't mean it.

Angelica Pickles:
[grabs Tommy by his collar] You wanna ride in a wagon? [drops Tommy into the wagon] I'll give you a ride...to outside space! [kicks the Reptar Wagon, which moves towards the front door, hurting her foot] Ow! [hopping while holding her foot in pain, her hears on the TV that the show is out of commercials] My show! Next commercial, you babies are in big trouble! [slams the door]

Lil DeVille:
All aboard!

Chuckie Finster:
[to himself, as the Reptar wagon rides outside, carrying the babies] Just walk away, Chuckie. Walk away. [to the babiess] Ooh! Wait for me! [climbs into the moving Reptar Wagon, which has now left the house, down the street]

Phil DeVille:
Which way to the hospicle?

Tommy Pickles:
We're not going to the hospicle!

Chuckie Finster:
Well, we're going somewhere!

[Cut back to house, the goat is eating the foam peanuts. A delivery man for United Express arrives to pick up the crate. Lou is still asleep]

United Express Driver:
Uh, pardon me. Pickup for Pickles to Japan?

Lou Pickles:
[yawning] Take it away, take it away.

[The delivery man seals up the crate and carries it out on a hand truck. He tosses a receipt on sleeping Lou's lap]

United Express Driver:
Yeah, have a good day.

[Cut to Angelica, watching TV, while outside, Spike barks loudly]

Angelica Pickles:
Pipe down, Spike! Me and Cynthia are watching... [notices that Cynthia is missing] Cynthia? [proceeds to the front door] Nice try, babies. Now gimme back my... [gasps; sees that the babies and the Reptar Wagon are gone. She only sees Cynthia's shoe on the welcome mat] CYNTHIAAAA!

[Pull away from front door and pan to Dil still holding Cynthia, as the babies continue drive the Reptar Wagon on the street. They zoom past a car, causing it to veer out of control and crash. The wagon flies down a wooden staircase, nearly hitting an elderly woman, who leaps out of the way. It bursts through the railing and lands back on the street, swerving away from another car, which also crashes with the sound of glass smashing. Cut back home, Spike continues barking, and Angelica enters the yard in her "Shirley-lock Holmes" costume and skates]

Angelica Pickles:
They took Cynthia, Spike! [unties the leash from the doghouse] Come on! You're gonna be my butthound! We gotta search every doghouse, playhouse, tree house and doll house! I want those foogitives back in custardy. [Spike runs off, with her in tow] Whoa! Bad dog! Bad dog! STOP!

[Back inside, Stu enters the living room, talking to Didi on a cordless phone]

Stu Pickles:
[on the phone] Deed, just go to the spa and relax. Pop and I are doing fine taking care of the, uh... [sees that the crate's gone] Pop, where's the crate?

Lou Pickles:
[wakes up] Oh, I guess the delivery folks must've come.

Stu Pickles:
Wow. They loaded her up and everything, huh?

Didi Pickles:
[on phone] Stu, let me talk to Tommy.

Stu Pickles:
Sure, I'll let you talk to Tommy. Pop...uh...uh, where are the kids?

Lou Pickles:
That's funny. They were here a minute ago, playing in the...

Stu and Lou:
[look outside the open front door] THE CRATE!

Stu Pickles:
Uh, Honey...I'm gonna have to...call you back. [hangs up, then glares at Lou in anger]

[Cut back to the babies and the wagon, as they tear through the streets. During the course of their run, they knock over some garbage cans and a garbageman. As the wagon shakes, Dil's cheeks puff up and he vomits on Chuckie's shirt. They head up a ramp into a moving truck where they smash trough a box of wine glasses. The wagon barrels into a play park. It scoops a kid off a swing, then zooms across the tops of monkey bars like a roller coaster. It goes down a slide and lands on a see-saw. The kid from the swingset lands on the opposite end, launching the wagon. It rolls through a restricted area and approaches an overpass that's still under construction! One of the twins quickly hits a button and a robotic arm grabs a post, and swings around the pole, sending Dil's pacifier falling out of the wagon in the process. They narrowly miss a huge truck. The Wagon rolls into a into a mattress factory, toppling mounds of mattresses like dominoes. It lands in a "Nighty Night Mattress" delivery truck, and the driver closes the back door. While all this happens, Busta Rhymes' "On Your Mark, Get Set, Ready, Go" plays in the background. Cut to Stu and Lou speeding on the road]

Stu Pickles:
How could you fall asleep when you were supposed to be watching the kids?! [Lou sleeps in the passenger seat. The mattress truck is right in front of Stu and Lou. The back door opens with the babies in view, jumping on a mattress. However, he isn't watching the road at that moment, as he's talking to Lou] We'll never find the babies with this jerk in front of us! [the truck's back door closes shut just as he returns his attention back to the road. Trying to pass, he honks his horn] Whoa! [narrowly misses an oncoming car and inadvertently cuts off the mattress truck, causing it to swerve and crash through the guard rail and plunge into the forest. The truck driver leaps out just in time. The oblivious babies are still inside the truck, having fun]

Phil DeVille:
This is more fun than picking noses!

Lil DeVille:
Or making bubbles in the bathtub!

Chuckie Finster:
I don't know if I should throw up or throw down!

[The truck driver looks down as he wipes his brow, then runs off]

[Fade into the United Express plane, the crew has opened up every package and crate on board, finding nothing unusual, except for the goat]

Air Crewman:
I've turned this plane upside down, and I assure you there are no children.

Delivery Man:
No.

Air Crewman:
We found a kid, but he's not the one you're looking for.

[Cut to Stu and Lou at the controllers' tower, listening as the goat bleats on the other side of the radio. Stu and Lou return home, resuming their search there]

Stu Pickles:
[looking in the closet] Tommy!

Lou Pickles:
[looking under the bed] Sprouts?

Stu Pickles:
[looking down the basement] Dil!

Lou Pickles:
[searching in a cookie jar] Angelica?

Stu Pickles:
[searching under the kitchen sink] Where can they be? We gotta find them!

Didi Pickles:
[entering] Find what?

Stu:
[bangs his head under the sink] Ow!

Lou Pickles:
[pointing at Stu] Einstein here lost the kids.

Stu Pickles:
I lost the kids?!

Lou Pickles:
See?

[Didi gasps in shock and drops her bag of groceries on the floor, with the bag opening on impact and the goods falling on the floor]

[Fade back to the forest. The Rugrats got out of the truck, unhurt and started roaming around]

Chuckie Finster:
Where are we?

Tommy Pickles:
I don't know. It looks kinda like the park.

Lil DeVille:
Only bigger.

Chuckie Finster:
Bigger? This place is bigger than the park and the backyard all put together. This is bad you guys. This is bad.

[Dil begins to grunt and grimace. His face has turned a dark pink]

Lil DeVille:
Uh-oh, Tommy, I think your brother is broke again.

Tommy Pickles:
Oh, no. Dil, are you okay?

Phil DeVille:
I think he's gonna explode.

Dil Pickles:
Poopie.

Tommy Pickles:
What?

Dil Pickles:
[groans] POOPIE!!! [a wet fart can be heard]

Babies:
[gasping and moaning] Eww!

Tommy Pickles:
Well, I guess we'll have to change his diapie.

Phil DeVille:
What do you mean, we?

[Inside the Pickles house, where police cars and news trucks crowd the front lawn]

Didi Pickles:
I can't believe you left them with your father! The man slept through Pearl Harbor, for heaven's sake!

Lou Pickles:
I sounded the alarm as soon as I could!

[Lieutenant Klavin, a police woman, is there, asking the Pickles various "important" questions]

Lieutenant Klavin:
Uh, Mrs. Pickles, does your son have any enemies?

Didi Pickles:
Oh...

Lieutenant Klavin:
Uh-huh. Any underworld or mob connections?

Didi Pickles:
He's a baby!

[Meanwhile, back at the forest, Tommy tries to change Dil's diaper. Tommy is powdering Dil's bottom, they all cough as the baby powder clouds up]

Lil DeVille:
The powder goes on his bottom, Tommy!

Tommy Pickles:
Well, I'm doing the best I can.

Dil Pickles:
[hits Tommy with his feet] Pee-pee! [giggles and pees]

Phil DeVille:
Look out!

Chuckie Finster:
Stop it, Dil!

[The babies try to get out of the way of the stream. Lil and Phil trip over each other]

Tommy Pickles:
Get him off me!

Chuckie Finster:
[falls, then a frog jumps on his head] AAH! FROG! FROG! AAH! [runs around and falls face first in a pile of leaves. The frog hops away] Oh. [Phil and Lil help him up; starts to walk over to Tommy] Your brother made a frog jump on me!

Dil Pickles:
Stop it!

Chuckie Finster:
Stop it!

Dil Pickles:
Stop it!

Chuckie Finster:
You stop it!

Dil Pickles:
Stop it!

Chuckie Finster:
Stop it!

Tommy Pickles:
[puts a diaper on Dil] Hey, guys, maybe we should stop playing around and figure out how to get home.

Lil DeVille:
But, Tommy, we don't even know where we are.

Tommy Pickles:
Uh, I know! I've got my sponsatility! [pulls out his pocket watch]

Lil DeVille:
What's a sponsatility, Tommy?

Phil DeVille:
Sounds yucky.

Tommy Pickles:
[putting Dil in the Reptar Wagon] No, it's what you get for being a big brother. It's just like Okey-Dokey Jones uses when he has to find his way home.

Phil DeVille:
[pulling a duffel bag to the Reptar Wagon] I thought that's called a crumpass.

Tommy Pickles:
Well, my dad gave it to me, and he called it a sponsatility.

Phil DeVille:
Where's it say to go?

Tommy Pickles:
Well, um, uh, hmm. This way. Uh...That's the way! Straight up that hill!

[Meanwhile, on the interstate, Angelica is still being towed on her skates by Spike]

Angelica Pickles:
Aahhh! Bad dog, bad dog! STOP! [they approach the scene of the mattress truck's crash, complete with tow truck and flares. Spike finds Dil's pacifier on the ground and stops. But she keeps going, and Spike is tugged along on his leash as they plummet into the woods. They bounce off several tree branches. She screams as she trips on her skates, then falls and lands upside down against a tree, knocking her unconscious. We fade out, then fade back in again once she comes to. As soon as her vision clears, the first thing she sees is Spike, holding her detective hat] You know, not all dogs go to heaven.

[We pan across the expanse of the forest, where we see the mattress truck accident scene overhead]

[Cut to Tommy, holding the lead connecting the Reptar Wagon]

Tommy Pickles:
Forward, march! [pulls the wagon up the hill, while Chuckie, Phil and Lil push from behind. Dil is inside the wagon, drinking his juice box. They sing in an army chant] We are going up the hill!

Lil DeVille:
We go back there without Dil!

Tommy Pickles:
But you guys, he's not so bad.

Chuckie Finster:
A frighty thing, he needs a bath.

Tommy Pickles:
Nah-uh!

Rugrats:
Uh-huh!

Tommy Pickles:
Nah-uh!

Rugrats:
Uh-huh!

Tommy Pickles:
Sometimes, he is lots of fun.

Phil DeVille:
He's a big pain in our buns!

Tommy Pickles:
Chuckie, do you think so, too?

Chuckie Finster:
I just got a big boo boo!

Tommy Pickles:
Nah-uh!

Rugrats:
Uh-huh!

Tommy Pickles:
Nah-uh!

Rugrats:
Uh-huh!

Tommy Pickles:
He's just a baby, don't you see?

Lil DeVille:
We love to leave him in a tree!

Tommy Pickles:
He'll get better when he's grown.

Phil DeVille:
We'd like to feed him to a toad!

Tommy Pickles:
Don't you think he's kind of sweet?

Lil DeVille:
All he does is poop and eat!

Tommy Pickles:
Chuckie, don't you like him too?

Chuckie Finster:
[takes off his right shoe and pulls out a rock] I got a rock inside my shoe!

[The babies continue towing the wagon while Chuckie puts his shoe on]

Tommy Pickles:
Nah-uh!

Phil and Lil:
Uh-huh!

Tommy Pickles:
Nah-uh!

Phil and Lil:
Uh-huh!

[The babiess reach the top of the hill, they struggle to put the wagon there]

Tommy Pickles:
Nah-uh! Nah-uh!

Phil and Lil:
Uh-huh! Uh-huh!

Tommy Pickles:
Nah-uh! Nah-uh!

Phil and Lil:
Uh-huh! Uh-huh!

[Dil squeezes his juice box; the sides burst open and squirts Phil & Lil. Song ends]

Phil DeVille:
Hey! Stop squirting. [he Lil fall to the ground. Tommy lets go of the lead. The wagon rolls down the hill, narrowly missing Chuckie] Oops.

Lil DeVille:
[waves] Goodbye, baby.

[The wagon crashes in some bushes. Dil looks around, then sucks his thumb]

[Cut to the Pickles' house, which is jam-packed with police cars and news trucks. Stu, Didi and the other parents rush out the door. The reporters and cameramen gang up at Stu and Didi, grilling them with questions]

Reporter:
There he is!

Reporter 1:
Mr. Pickles, is it true you shipped your own children to Tokyo in a wooden box?

Reporter 2:
Is it true a dingo ate your baby?

Reporter 3:
Mr. Pickles, how many pecks of pickled peppers did you pick?

[A helicopter lands in the yard and the crowd scatters. News reporter Rex Pester and his camera man rush up over towards Stu and Didi, shoving the other reporters en route. We see Rex through his camera]

Rex Pester:
Childhood, a time of innocence, a time of joy. A time of unspeakable, unrelenting tragedy. Mrs. Pickles, tell us how it feels to know you may never see your children again.

Betty DeVille:
[disgusted] Criminy! Can't you pit bulls show some compassion?

Rex Pester:
I'm so sorry. Forgive me. [back to Didi] Please tell us how it feels to know you may never see your children again.

Betty DeVille:
[glares. She charges at at Rex. Lou and Stu hold her back] All right! That's it! Let me at him! All right! Come one! Come on!

[Cut to the interior of Charlotte and Drew's car. Charlotte is on the phone with Jonathan. The car stops at Stu and Didi's house where they see the commotion]

Charlotte Pickles:
Hold on, Jonathan. There's an alarming crowd at my in-law's indicating either a yard sale or a family tragedy. Let me get back to you.

[They get out of the car, when Rex hounds them]

Rex Pester:
Mr. Pickles, how does it feel knowing your brother lost your only daughter?

Drew Pickles:
[Furiously] He what?!

Rex Pester:
Share your pain.

Drew Pickles:
[his face boils red. He angrily lunges at Stu and violently fights him] YAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

Stu Pickles:
YOU'RE BREAKING MY ARM!!

Drew Pickles:
ONLY 'CAUSE I CAN'T REACH YOUR NECK!!!

[The other adults try to break up the fight]

Rex Pester:
[goes back to the camera] And there you have it. 2 sour Pickles and: displays the pictures of the babies, one by one, while incorrectly saying their names] young Tammy, baby Dale, the twins Bill and Jill, little Chunky, and poor Amelia, all vanished without a trace. [caption "Rex Pester, Big Action News"] I'm Rex Pester, and I'll be back with more "Big Action News"!

Chaz Finster:
[rushes in] Mr. Swenson on Saton said he saw Angelica and Spike run through his garden and head north on I-99!

Charlotte Pickles:
My baby!

Didi Pickles:
Let's go!

[The parents and reporters rush to their vehicles. Lou breaks open the front door dressed in his military uniform]

Lou Pickles:
[saluting] Private First Class Pickles reporting for duty!

[Stu shrugs uncertainly at his father's appearance]

Chaz Finster:
Just get in! Come on!

[Lou climbed in the car before they drive off]

[Cut back to the forest. The babiess are pulling the Reptar wagon, with Tommy pushing it and Dil inside]

Tommy Pickles:
[to the babies] Good job, you guys. We're almost there. [to Dil] Good, Dil. Now, play nice. [Dil hits him with his baby bottle]

Phil DeVille:
Not much fun back there, is it?

Tommy Pickles:
Oh, we're doing okay. [to Dil] That's some good hittin' there, Dilly. [Dil hits him again]

Chuckie Finster:
I'm hungry. Right about now my daddy would be making me a fried baloney sandwich. I can almost smell that burning. Ooh, it tastes all crunchy.

Tommy Pickles:
Stop it, Chuckie. You're making me hungry. [Dil hits him again]

[The babies stop at the top of a hill, and gasped in horror]

Chuckie Finster:
Oh, no!

Lil Deville:
We can't see our houses from here, Tommy.

Phil DeVille:
We can't see any houses from here.

[We look at the panoramic forest from the top of the hill]

Chuckie Finster:
We're doomed! Doomed. Doomed, I tell you!

[Pull away, until we see a wolf growling from a distance. Cut to Stu and Didi, at the scene of the mattress truck accident. They're with Lt. Klavin]

Lieutenant Klavin:
[picks up the pacifier] Mrs. Pickles, I know this is hard for you, but can you identify this binky? [holds up the pacifier]

[Stu and Didi react in shock. We cut back to the babies where Chuckie is crying]

Phil DeVille:
This is all Dil's fault! Right, Chuckie?

Chuckie Finster:
Uh...

Tommy Pickles:
Uh, uh! This never would've happened if you hadn't putted him in the wagon in the first place, right, Chuckie?

Chuckie Finster:
Uh...Uh - Uh...

Lil DeVille:
It's not our fault you got a bad, naughty, stinky baby for a brother!

Tommy Pickles:
He's not naughty. He's just a...he's just a...a baby! How could you be mad just because you're... [Dil rips a tab on Tommy's diaper and it drops. He looks down, shocked and embarrassed, but he plays it off to defend his brother. The others stare at Tommy's exposure, with Lil in particular giving a peculiar creepy smile before looking away] ...um...standing there all nakie? I mean, I'm sure he's trying to help. And side's, it's hot, phew, exploring in the woods all day. [picks up his diaper] Ah! A little breeze feels good. Just what I needed. Oh, thank you, Dil.

[Dil hiccups]

Phil DeVille:
Those hiccups are really starting to bug me.

Lil DeVille:
Face it, Tommy. Having a baby brother just isn't what you expected.

Chuckie Finster:
[sees the smoke from the distance] Hey, you guys, look. Somebody's house. Tommy was right.

Tommy Pickles:
[amazed] Wow. My sponsatility does work.

Phil DeVille:
Yeah, but who'd have a house way out there in the forest?

Tommy Pickles:
Maybe a lizard lives there.

Chuckie Finster:
A lizard?

Tommy Pickles:
You know, a big guy with a pointy hat that grants wishes. All's we got to do is knock on the door and say we wanna go home. See? Then everything will be back to Norman.

Phil DeVille:
Thank, Bob!

Lil DeVille:
Thank you, Bob.

Tommy Pickles:
Come on, guys! We're off to see the lizard! [trips on something]

Chuckie Finster:
[helps him up] Oh, Tommy, are you okay?

Tommy Pickles:
I'm fine. I just tripped in a little hole, that's all.

[They see a large animal footprint on the ground]

Chuckie Finster:
[studies the paw print] Gosh, it looks kinda like Spike's feet; only if he was a giant.

Phil DeVille:
I saw feetprints like that in our storybook. A wolf made them, and then he ate that little red riding girl.

Chuckie Finster:
The wolf ate a girl?

Phil DeVille:
They got her out.

Tommy Pickles:
I don't think it's a wolf, Chuckie. If it was, we'd hear him say... [prepares to mimic a wolf sound, but the wolf's howl is heard in the distance. He looks around nervously] Uhh...

Phil DeVille:
That was pretty good.

Tommy Pickles:
I didn't do anything.

[The wolf howls again, and the babies scream. They all get into the Reptar Wagon. Chuckie pushes the wagon before climbing in, and take off]

Tommy Pickles:
Do you see the wolf?!

Chuckie Finster:
I don't know what he looks like!

Phil DeVille:
Teeth! Teeth and fur! And teeth!

[Dil pulls a lever to make the Reptar Wagon move]

Tommy Pickles:
No, Dil! Bad Dil! No!

[We cut to a forest scene where we see a couple of deer eating off the ground, a pair of chipmunks and rabbits kissing each other, a couple of birds on a branch singing and a raccoon scampering about a squirrel while a skunk looks on. This serene scene is disturbed and the animals run in panic when the babies and the Reptar Wagon crashes on through]

Reptar Wagon:
I am Reptar! [roars]

[We then cut to a forest road, where forest rangers Frank and Margaret are driving around in a Jeep. The radio is playing]

Ranger Frank:
Margaret? That's your name, isn't it? [turns off the radio] I'm sure you've run afoul of many a scary pedestrian. But out here, we have what you might call...hmm, how should I put it? Actual danger.

Ranger Margaret:
[gasps] Danger?

Ranger Frank:
Grizzlies that'll rip the top off your car. Bobcats, wolves, wolverines, which are something entirely different.

[Just then, the Reptar Wagon crosses the road in back of them. Margaret turned around and caught a glimpse of it]

Ranger Margaret:
And dragons. Ha!

[Cut to Reptar Wagon]

Chuckie Finster:
Tommy, I sawed some grownups! Stop! Stop!

Tommy Pickles:
I don't know how! [pushes several buttons in vain]

[The Reptar Wagon is barreling toward a cliff at top speed]

Lil DeVille:
Well, I hope you figure it out, 'cause I didn't bring no bathing suit!

[They all scream. Tommy pulls a lever. The wagon swerves to a complete stop at the edge of the cliff. It teeters forward and pebbles roll into the river far below. The wagon levels out, flinging Tommy to the back seat, leaving Dil at the wheel, giggling]

Phil DeVille:
Any further, and I would've needed a fresh diapie.

[Dil plays with the brake. The wheels move and the wagon moves slightly over the cliff's edge]

Tommy Pickles:
Dil, no!

[Too late, Dil releases the lever and the babies slide down the cliff into the river. As water splashes on them, the bottom of the wagon inflates into a raft, keeping the wagon afloat. The tip of its tail doubles as a propeller]

Reptar Wagon:
Aqua Reptar, engaged.

[As the babies coast under a wooden bridge, the park rangers drive over it. Fade to ranger station]

Ranger Margaret:
I'm telling you, I saw a dragon.

Ranger Frank:
Margaret.

Ranger Margaret:
A big green, fire-breathing dragon. I've got to call headquarters. [rushes to the phone]

Ranger Frank:
While you're at it, you might ask for a new assignment, say, a city park. 'Cause, you see, out here in the country, you have to be just a little tougher. [sees the Reptar Wagon in his telescope. The wagon floats with the current in the water. He screams like a little girl and backs away from the telescope] AAAH! AAH! THE DRAGON! I JUST SAW IT! I SAW IT!

Ranger Margaret:
Where?! Where?! [looks through the telescope, but the wagon is nowhere to be seen] Where? Here? Where?

[We rejoin the search party]

Lou Pickles:
[finds a clue on the ground, and picks up a wrapper] Bingo! Lookie here! A wrapper from a Cynthia Sweet bar.

Drew Pickles:
My angel! She's been here!

Lou Pickles:
Yep, I figure she's tracking the sprouts. It's the Pickles' blood. I myself spent 15 days tracking Sitting Bull through the Northwest Territory. The year was 19...

Howard DeVille:
Over here! [he and Chaz return with news of another clue]

Chaz Finster:
We found some wheel tracks and baby footprints heading into the woods. Well, actually, Howard found them. Honestly, I saw them.

Stu Pickles:
They must be in my Reptar Wagon.

Drew Pickles:
[sarcastically, angrily mimicking his brother] "It's the perfect children's toy!" You and your stupid inventions!

Stu Pickles:
[thinking] My stupid inventions? [brightens] That's it!

Betty DeVille:
[grabs a bullhorn from a policeman and speaks into it] All right, the pups are in the woods. You men follow those tracks. We'll head to the ranger station and start the search from there. NOW MOVE! HUT, HUT, HUT!

[Stu, Chaz and Lou get into the car]

Didi Pickles:
Stu, where are you going?!

Stu Pickles:
Trust me, Deed. I have a plan! [drives off with Lou and Chaz]

[Cut to the river, where the Rugrats are floating along in the Reptar Wagon. They play pirates]

Tommy Pickles:
Slob the poop deck, Mr. Phil. Hoist the ankle, number one. [singing] A pirate's life is a life for me!

Lil DeVille:
[singing] Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of yum!

Chuckie Finster:
[singing] I get seasick on the sea!

Phil and Lil:
[singing] Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of yum!

Phil DeVille:
[singing] Hoist the Reptar flag real high!

Tommy Pickles:
[singing] My sword is pointed to the sky!

Lil DeVille:
[singing] You need a patch across your eye! [Chuckie groans, nauseous] From Zanzibar...

Phil DeVille:
[singing] ...to candy bar!

Both:
[singing] Yo ho ho and a bottle of yum!

Tommy Pickles:
[singing] We search for treasures near and far!

Phil and Lil:
[singing] Yo ho ho and a bottle of yum!

Lil DeVille:
[singing] Beware your ship should cross our path.

Phil DeVille:
[singing] We'll shoot a cannon through your mast!

Chuckie Finster:
[singing] Remove your gold baboons by half.

Dil Pickles:
Yo-oh-oh-oh!

Tommy Pickles:
[singing] A pirate's life is the life for me!

Both:
[singing] Yo ho ho and a bottle of yum!

Chuckie Finster:
[singing] Adventure on the open sea.

Phil and Lil:
[singing] Yo ho ho and a bottle of yum!

[The song ends when the wagon hits a rock; this causes Dil and Chuckie to teeter over the edge]

Babies:
Oh!

Tommy Pickles:
Dil! [saves Dil]

Chuckie Finster:
[falls overboard] Help me, Tommy! [notices the water is shallow, it only reaches his hips. He stands up with a relieved smile. Suddenly, he feels a wiggling sensation in his pants and pulls out a fish] Fish!

Phil DeVille:
Man overboard!

Lil DeVille:
[throws a life ring to Chuckie, which he was able to catch. The wagon tows him as if he was water skiing] Hang on, Chuckie!

Chuckie Finster:
Aaahh!

Phil DeVille:
Look at him go!

[Lil laughs and Chuckie screams. The twins got Chuckie back on board]

Chuckie Finster:
Tommy, why didn't you help me?

Tommy Pickles:
I'm sorry, Chuckie, but, Dil, he needed me and he's just a-

Phil and Lil:
[drop Chuckie on the floor] Just a baby!

Lil DeVille:
Uh-oh!

[The Reptar Wagon is approaching the brink of a huge waterfall]

Tommy Pickles:
Hard to port side. Turn! Turn around! Help me, you guys! Help! [Chuckie and the twins grab the wheel and just manage steer the wagon away from the falls. Dil grabs a lever] Dil, no!

[He pulls it and the propeller lifts out of the water. The wagon swerves toward the waterfall. Tommy switches another lever to steer the wagon away from the falls and onto the bank. The wagon hits a stump, sending the babiess flying and they thud to the ground. Tommy's watch falls out of his diaper, but he catches it just in time before it hits the water. Cut to the Pickles basement, the Stu and Chaz lower the Dactar glider from the ceiling]

Lou Pickles:
Whoa now!

Stu Pickles:
I knew my Dactar would come in handy. [a pully breaks from the ceiling and Dactar Lou; Ow fall towards Grandpa, who hits the deck. He and Chas flinch as dust fills the room] Pop, are you okay? [the dust settles to reveal Grandpa is sleeping under the wreckage, unharmed] Oh, pop.

[Cut back to the forest]

Chuckie Finster:
Do you think we'll still be able to find the lizard's house, Tommy?

Tommy Pickles:
Sure, Chuckie. Long as I got my sponsatility, we'll never be losted.

Phil DeVille:
Which way are we apposed to go?

Tommy:
[uses his watch to find his way] Um...uh...um...that way.

[The babies follow a trail. Time passes and a view shows the babies circling a large tree]

Chuckie Finster:
Hey, lookie, footprints. Maybe there's other babies around here.

Lil DeVille:
Those are our feetprints, Chuckie.

Phil DeVille:
You're leading us around and around, Tommy.

Tommy Pickles:
But it was working before.

Lil DeVille:
I don't think it ever worked. I think your sponsatility's broke, just like your brother.

Tommy Pickles:
My brother is not broke!

Lil DeVille:
He pulled the lever!

Phil DeVille:
He tried to send us into the big Jacuzzi!

Lil DeVille:
We could have been drowned.

Chucklie Finster:
[as he covers his ears to avoid the argument, he spots something and points in fear] Hey, you guys! Clow-clow...

Lil DeVille:
What is it, Chuckie?

Chuckie Finster:
CLOWN!! [points to a rail car with a clown's face painted on it]

Phil DeVille:
What's a train doing in the middle of the forest?

Lil DeVille:
Maybe some giant baby losted his choo-choo.

[The door of the rail car slowly opens. A figure, which looks like some sort of mysterious person, appears. In reality, it was actually 3 monkeys hiding underneath the clothes. From here on, a sense of mayhem prevails while Devo's "Witch Doctor" plays over]

Circus Monkeys:
[singing] Ooh, eek! Ooh-ahh-ahh! Ting, tang, walla walla bing bang! [4 more monkeys emerge from the top of the car. One of them is wearing a yellow hat, another is wearing a pink dress and carrying a parasol, and the 3rd monkey is an infant wearing a diaper] Ooh-ee! Ooh-ahh-ahh! Ting, tang, walla walla bing bang!

[The top monkey, the one with the starry hat, blows a raspberry. The babies try to run away, but found themselves surrounded by a circle of six monkeys]

Devo:
[singing] You want to learn something that I can teach to you. You want to know a secret that I swear is true. [a monkey holds onto Chuckie while another monkey, in a tree, pulls by its tail] Monkeys, we have more fun than humans ever do!

[The monkey swings from the tree and crashes through a picture of a palm tree. He, then, crashes back through the picture, banging on a drum. A compartment opens, with another monkey, with another drum. In that drum, yet another money with yet another drum exits, though this time, it's an upright snare drum. A fourth monkey burst through the top of that drum and "drums" on the 3rd monkey's head]

Circus Monkeys:
[singing] Ooh, eee, ooh ahh ahh! Ting, tang, walla walla bing bang! [a monkey takes Tommy away in a trike. 2 more monkeys, one of them with a bow on her head, walk on their hands while Phil and Lil ride on their feet. They crash down] Ooh, eee, ooh ahh ahh! Ting, tang walla walla bing bang!

[Chuckie and another monkey are up in a tree. The monkey steals his glasses, causing Chuckie to fall down. The monkey with a wizard's cap pulls put a pillow to catch Chuckie, but them pulls away. As Chuckie is about to crash, a monkey in a tree being held by its tail by another pulls Chuckie back up, tosses Chuckie up in the air, and lands in the arms of another monkey, which gave back Chuckie's glasses]

Devo:
[singing] We learn to climb and swing before we learn to run. We like to party and there's room for everyone. Come by and see if you really wanna have some fun.

[2 monkeys fight in front of the Reptar Wagon, they run away after Dil bonks them on the snout with his bottle]

Circus Monkeys:
[singing] Ooh, eee, ooh-ahh-ahh! Ting, tang, walla walla bing bang. [the parasol monkey parachutes off the top of the car, with her baby holding on. Phil and Lil follow with a skeleton of a parasol, but crashes] Ooh, eee, ooh ahh ahh! Ting, tang, walla walla bing bang!

[A monkey in a tree wearing tennis shoes peels bark from a branch and eats the bugs inside. 4 other monkeys line up behind him, eating the bugs off each other’s backs. Lil takes a bug off the 4th monkey's back, but Phil swipes it from her, then eats it. He licks his lips in satisfaction, much to Lil's annoyance. She scowls at him and he smiles at her]

Devo:
[singing] You'll never see us tired 'cause we're way too smart for workin'. A monkey knows a lot more than a man. [3 monkeys hold onto Chuckie as he dives down; his glasses land onto Dil's head. The monkey with a parasol swipes the glasses and Dil's bottle, and feeds it to a baby monkey] We love swinging in the trees and eating our bananas. Don't you know we never need a plan?

Dil Pickles:
Mine! Mine!

[Instrumental portion of song plays under while the Rugrats continue prancing with the monkeys. Tommy hops on one foot, until he hears and sees Dil crying]

Tommy Pickles:
What? What do you want?

Dil Pickles:
Hungry, hungry.

[Tommy goes to tend to Dil as the song continues; Chuckie slides to the ground off a monkey’s back and lands on the back of another monkey. The monkey rides Chuckie off somewhere]

Circus Monkeys:
[singing] Ooh, eee, ooh ahh ahh! Ting, tang, walla walla bing bang! Ooh, eee, ooh ahh ahh...

Tommy Pickles:
Oh, but I really wanna go play with the monkeys. [digs in the duffel bag, grunts, and opens a jar of banana baby food. He gives it to Dil]

[The monkeys catch a whiff of the banana aroma and smile]

Dil Pickles:
[eating the banana baby food] Hungry, hungry. Oh, boy. [giggles, and makes a mess of himself]

[Dil eats the banana baby food and makes a mess of himself. He licks the mashed bananas off himself. Tommy tosses the jar away and is about to get another one when 3 monkeys run across the Reptar Wagon. 2 of them steal the diaper bag, which Tommy attempts to tug back, but loses his grip. Many of the other monkeys follow]

Tommy Pickles:
Watch my brother! I gotta get the diapie bag! [leaves]

[2 monkeys start to lick Dil, who is now covered with creamed bananas]

Chuckie Finster:
Hey, leave him alone. He's not a nanner. [tries to pull Dil away from the monkeys] Oh, no! Hey, guys, help! There's a monkey who's trying to take Tommy's brother!

[The twins just stare]

Phil DeVille:
So?

Chuckie Finster:
Oh, just help me, okay? [to the monkeys] Don't touch my hair! Hey! [Dil flies into Phil and Lil's arms, but a monkey in a tree tries to steal him. Meanwhile, he tries to take his glasses back from the baby monkey]Let go!

Phil and Lil:
[mishearing] Okay. [both let go of Dil's legs. Lil shrugged to her twin brother]

[The monkey takes him away. The other monkeys follow. The baby monkey takes off Chuckie's glasses and tosses them to the ground]

Chuckie Finster:
[ambles around near him] Oh, this is just great. I tell you, it can't get any worser than, [accidentally steps on his glasses, cracking the lenses] this. [puts it back on]

Phil DeVille:
Well, at least the monkeys are gone.

Lil DeVille:
Yeah. And they took baby Dil with them.

[Chuckie gasps in horror and watches as the monkeys climb a tree with Dil]

[In another part of the forest, Spike continues to pull Angelica by the leash]

Angelica Pickles:
Hey, Spike! Where are you going, you dumb dog?! [[trips on a stone] Hey! My rolly blade is cracked. [Spike appears in front of her] Oh, Cynthia. Are they taking care of you? [the wolf appears behind her back] Will they know to comb your hair, [takes one of her skates off] or change you into your sports jumper with matching neckerchief at lunch time? [tosses the skate towards the back, unknowingly striking the wolf's head] Pee-yew, Spike! Dog breath! Spike?

[After seeing the wolf, Spike runs away very quickly, with Angelica following him on his leash, screaming. Angelica never saw the wolf, who looks at her and growls. Back home, Stu is preparing for takeoff with Dactar]

Stu Pickles:
Don't worry. This time she'll fly. I'm facing into the wind. [accidentally pops up the loose handlebars]

[Dactar is attached by rope to Stu's car, driven by Grandpa, due to the loud noise]

Lou Pickles:
He's ready?

Chaz Finster:
No.

Lou Pickles:
[mishearing] Go?

Chaz Finster:
[louder] No!

Lou Pickles:
[still mishearing] All right, then! [drives off]

[Stu screams as Dactar flies haphazardly. Back in the forest, the babies, minus Tommy, discover that Dil was replaced with a monkey]

Chuckie Finster:
Oh, This is bad! Bad!

Phil DeVille:
[sees Tommy coming back with the duffel bag] Shh! Here comes Tommy.

Lil DeVille:
Put the blankie on him.

[Phil and Chuckie did so]

Tommy Pickles:
Okay, guys! I got it.

Chuckie Finster:
Um, I think it's gonna rain, Tommy.

Phil DeVille:
Oh yeah, we better go.

Tommy Pickles:
I gotta finish feeding my brother.

Lil DeVille:
I don't think he's hungry.

Chuckie Finster:
Yeah. Besides, he's, um...

Tommy Pickles:
[lifts the blanket, and is shocked to see a baby monkey drinking a bottle] A monkey?

Phil DeVille:
Wow! Look at that!

Tommy Pickles:
My brother turned into a monkey?!

[Lightning strikes from a distance]

Chuckie Finster:
Come on, Tommy. We gotta get outta here.

Tommy Pickles:
I can't go home with my brother being a monkey!

Chuckie Finster:
Oh, but Tommy, we gotta get to the lizard's house.

Tommy Pickles:
[brightens] That's it! I'll get the lizard to wish him back into a people!

Phil DeVille:
The lizard's only going to give us one wish.

Chuckie Finster:
Yeah, and if you use it up on Dil, how are we gonna get home?

Tommy Pickles:
He's my brother, Chuckie! I have to wish him back!

Lil DeVille:
You can't do that!

Tommy Pickles:
Yes, I can! What would you do if Phil turned into a monkey?

Lil DeVille:
That's different. I like Phillip! Besides, you'd be wasting your wish anyway, 'cause that's not even your brother. [Tommy and Chuckie gasped] Wait a minute.

Chuckie Finster:
What Lillian means is...um...the monkeys kind of took baby Dil, and we just - we thought you wouldn't mind a baby monkey instead.

Tommy Pickles:
[shocked] What?!

Lil DeVille:
Lookit, Tommy, nobody likes him!

Phil DeVille:
We're gonna find that lizard, Tommy. You can find your brother by yourself!

Tommy Pickles:
Will you help me, Chuckie?

Chuckie Finster:
[refused] Sorry, Tommy.

Tommy Pickles:
[appalled] But-But you're my bestest friend.

Chuckie Finster:
Yeah? Well, if-if I'm your bestest friend, then how come when I got throwed up on, you didn't help me? Huh, huh? And when I falled overboard, you didn't help me. [tearing up] And then when the monkey grabbed me, you didn't even care about my boo-boo.

Lil DeVille:
Face it, Tommy. You don't got a bestest friend no more. All you gots is a brother.

Tommy Pickles:
[still shocked that no one will help him] Oh, um...fine. I'll go find him by myself. [goes off to find Dil]

[Chuckie, Phil, and Lil are left behind as it starts to rain. The "baby" monkey escapes]

[In another part of the forest, Spike is afraid to go any further]

Angelica Pickles:
You dumb butthound! Fine! I hope you turn into a frog. [furiously makes a face at him, angrily sticking out her tongue] Nyah! I'll find Cynthia myself! [singing] One way or another, I'm gonna find you, [crosses a creek] I'm gonna get you, get you, get you, get you! [splashes] One way or another, [rides a long in the water] I'm gonna win you, I'm gonna get you, get you, get you, get you! [climbs a mountain] Cynthia, oh, Cynthia! [climbs a tree] I need to see you, I need to see you, see you, see you! [goes through the canyon with chiseled heads of Tommy and Dil] From that kid or his brother, [climbs another mountain] I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna get you, I'll get you! [imagines Cynthia on the top] I'll find the full diaper bag! [it was actually Spike] And if you're ripped or you're hurt, I'll push them in dirt! Yeah! [stamps her foot into the handle portion of Spike's leash, which causes Spike to run, dragging her along the way] Aah! Ooh! Oh! Stop! I said stop! CYNTHIAAA!

[Back in another part of the forest, Tommy finds Dil with two monkeys. Dil is crying]

Tommy Pickles:
Hey! Gimme back my brother! Shoo! [tries to tug Dil away from the monkeys] Oh! Get outta here, you monkeys! Go! [the wolf howls off-screen. The monkeys leave in fear] Come on. Let's get outta this rain.

[At the ranger station, a nervous Frank is talking to Margaret]

Ranger Frank:
[trying to stay calm] I know you rookies can get excited and lose your heads, but veterans like me know the key is to remain calm and cool and collected.

[The door swings open and the babies' parents enter, panicking. Frank collapse from his chair]

Didi Pickles:
Please, our kids are lost in the storm! You've got to help us!

Ranger Frank:
THERE'S DRAGONS OUT THERE! I'M A PARK RANGER! NOT A KNIGHT AT A ROUND TABLE! GO FIND SOMEBODY WITH A LANCE!

Ranger Margaret:
Never mind him. Come with me. [leaves with the grown-ups]

Ranger Frank:
[whimpering and sobbing hysterically] W-What are you, come here, the dragon, I saw...

[Margaret shakes her head at Frank as she closes the door behind her]

[Cut to under a tree, where Tommy & Dil has taken refuge]

'Tommy Pickles:
We'll just have a little bottle and take a nice nappy, and everything will be OK.

Dil Pickles:
[steals the baby bottle] Mine! Mine! [drinks the whole milk]

Tommy Pickles:
But, I'm hungry, too. [tries to grab the bottle from Dil] Stop it! Dil, that's enough! Stop it! Unh! [Dil laughs and finishes off the bottle] You didn't leave any for me!

Dil Pickles:
[burp] All gone. [giggles]

[Tommy tosses the bottle to the ground, then gets a blanket from the bag; covering both of themselves with it. Tommy and Dil try to sleep. Dil tries to have the blanket all to himself]

Tommy Pickles:
Oh. [Dil's leg peeks out of the blanket] Dil. [Dil's arm now peeks out] Dil!

Dil Pickles:
[grabs the blanket from Tommy and covers himself with it] My blankie! My blankie!

Tommy Pickles:
Dil!

Dil Pickles:
My blankie! My blankie!

Tommy Pickles:
I need some blankie, too. [pulls the blanket on opposite ends, carrying Dil]

Dil Pickles:
[doing the "tug of war"]Mine! Mine! Mine!

Tommy Pickles:
Mine!

Dil Pickles:
Mine! [the blanket tears and Tommy falls into a mud puddle, covering himself in mud; giggles] Yucky lookie.

Tommy Pickles:
[getting out of the mud puddle, angry] You think it's funny?! Phil and Lil was right! You're a bad, naughty baby, and you're never gonna get any better! I'm through being your big brother! I don't want my sponsativity no more! [tosses his watch against a tree, the clock opens the picture]

[Meanwhile, a group of monkeys look on nearby]

Dil Pickles:
Monkey! My monkey! Mine!

Tommy Pickles:
[still angry] You want monkeys?! Oh, Okay! I'll give you monkeys! You'll have a monkey mommy and a monkey daddy and a monkey brother! I shoulda let my friends take you back to the hopsicle, but, no, I said, "He didn't mean it", I said! [kicks a frog] "He was only playing"! [kicks an empty baby bottle] Well I was wrong! Now I don't even have friends! [tosses out a diaper, a container of baby powder, baby wipes and Cynthia, which the monkeys all grab] Dil wants monkeys, and monkeys want the nanners. So everybody gets what they want! [brings the baby food to Dil and prepares to use it to cover Dil]

Dil Pickles:
My nanna! My nanna! [then looks at Tommy, while lightning strikes above. He's very frightened] T-T-T-

[Tommy has calmed down and is back in a right frame of mind. He set the baby food down and hugs Dil, as the monkeys look on from a tree]

Tommy Pickles:
[regrets himself] I'm sorry, Dil.

Dil Pickles:
[tearfully] Toto.

Tommy Pickles:
It's okay, Dil. [carrying Dil back to the shelter] Everything is gonna be okay.

[Camera zooms in to Tommy's watch, which is still on the ground]