Meet the Fockers2004
Stars: Ben Stiller, Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman, Barbra Streisand, Blythe Danner
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Rating: PG-13 (Parental Guidance Suggested)
Runtime: 116 minutes
Jack Byrnes:
I don't care if they did call you Larry Poppins. You are completely unfit to handle a child.
Greg Focker:
It was Barry Poppins.
Jack Byrnes:
What kind of a sick cocktail were you going to make my grandson?
Roz Focker:
Jack, the baby's teething. I told Greg to give him some rum to ease the pain.
Jack Byrnes:
It was your idea?
Roz Focker:
Yes.
Jack Byrnes:
What is wrong with you people?!
Bernie Focker:
You people?
Dina Byrnes:
I used to rub bourbon on Denny's gums.
Jack Byrnes:
Yeah! Look what happened to him. Greg, you couldn't follow a simple set of instructions?
Greg Focker:
Jack, he was screaming. So I went in and I gave him a little attention. Okay?
Jack Byrnes:
He's learning to self-soothe. These setbacks are disastrous for his development.
Roz Focker:
The child is adorable, but you're not raising Little Buddha over here.
Greg Focker:
Mom...
Jack Byrnes:
What are you saying?
Roz Focker:
I'm saying that I have seen that kid eat at least 15 boogers since he's been here. And I've got news for you, Jack,. Prodigies don't eat their own boogers.
Jack Byrnes:
And I have news for you. Prodigies don't come in 10th place every time either.
Pam Byrnes:
Okay, Dad. That's my fiancee.
Jack Byrnes:
I'm sorry. It's just that I've never seen people celebrate mediocrity the way you do.
Roz Focker:
Why? Because we love our son? We hug our son? Let's get down to it. The truth is, you're so concerned about that Little Jack, but I think that it's the Little Jack in you that is crying out for a hug.
Jack Byrnes:
The Little Jack in me? [Greg is getting extremely frustrated]
Roz Focker:
Jack, you have issues. I'm trying to understand why you run around with a rubber boob strapped to your chest. I mean, were you ever breastfed?
Greg Focker:
Mom, stop.
Bernie Focker:
Key question!
Roz Focker:
My guess is no.
Jack Byrnes:
Would you spare my the drugstore psychology?
Greg Focker:
[everyone starts arguing] Everybody! All right. Everybody just... Everybody just STOP! Okay?! [the arguing stops] Jack, I'm not going to make any excuses. Yes, Little Jack wouldn't stop crying, so I gave him some hugs and I let him watch TV. I went to answer the phone, I was gone a second, I came back in, he let himself out of the playpen, he put on Scarface, and he glued his hands to the rum bottle. Okay? That's it.
Submitted by wikidude on November 05, 2019
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