Shrek

Shrek2001

Shrek is a 2001 animated film about an ogre who, in order to regain his swamp, travels along with a donkey in order to bring a princess to a scheming lord who wishes to become King. more »



[Farquaad enters, the torturer has his back to us]

Gingy:
[off-screen] No!

Lord Farquaad:
That's enough! He's ready to talk.

[The torturer spins around revealing he has been torturing a Gingerbread Man. Close on the table, as a Gingy is thrown down on a cooking tray. Gingy coughs and hacks. Farquaad strolls up to the executioner, revealing that he is only about four-and-a-half feet tail. He approaches a table in the center of the room, his hat just visible above the table. Farquaad laughing menacingly and clears throat. The table is lowered mechanically revealing Farquaad]

Lord Farquaad:
"Run, run, run as fast as you can! You can't catch me! I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

Gingy:
You're a monster.

Farquaad:
I’m not the monster here! You are! You and the rest of that fairytale trash, poisoning my perfect world. [evilly crushes Gingy’s legs to crumbs as he shines a light on him] Now, tell me! Where are the others?!

Gingy:
Eat me!

[He spits milk in Farquaad's face. Farquaad slowly wipes it off]

Farquaad:
[through clenched teeth] I've tried to be fair to you creatures!? Now my patience has reached its end! Tell me, or I am...!

[Farquaad leans over, reaching for Gingy's buttons.]

Gingy:
No, no! Not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons!

Farquaad:
Alright. Who is hiding them?

Gingy:
[broken] Okay. I'll tell you. Do you know the Muffin Man?

Farquaad:
The Muffin Man?

Gingy:
The Muffin Man.

Farquaad:
Yes. I know the Muffin Man. Who-who lives on Drury Lane?

Gingy:
Well, she's married to the Muffin Man.

Farquaad:
The Muffin Man?

Gingy:
[screams] THE MUFFIN MAN!!!!

Farquaad:
She's married to the Muffin Man?

[The dungeon doors burst open suddenly and a guard approaches]

Captain:
My lord! We found it.

Farquaad:
[eagerly] Well, then what are you waiting for? Bring it in.

[Guards hang a shrouded figure from a chain. They pull the cover off, revealing an ornate, full-sized mirror. A terrified face appears in the mirror]

Gingy:
Ohhh...

Farquaad:
Magic Mirror.

Gingy:
Don't tell him anything! [Farquaad drops in the trash can] No!

Farquaad:
Evening. Mirror, mirror, on the wall, is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all?

Magic Mirror:
Well, technically, you're not a king.

Farquaad:
Uh, Thelonius?

[Thelonius the executioner smashes a small looking glass] You were saying?

Magic Mirror:
[nervous] I mean you're not a king yet! But you can become one! All you have to do is marry a princess...

Farquaad:
Go on.

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Submitted by wikidude on May 08, 2024


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    "Shrek Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 24 Nov. 2024. <https://www.quotes.net/mquote/1277659>.

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