Adventure Time, Season 7

Banana Guard:
[sleeping in the bathtub with the shower on] Oh, no! I just want consistency!

King of Ooo:
You two now comprise the royal guard of the one true princess of Ooo. [winks] That's me! As such, you may no longer own property or operate children, and must render all treasure and wives under your sworn princess within a hangman's fortnight.

Jake:
Pfft! Joke's on you, man! We spent all our treasure the other day! Plus, we don't even have any wives.

Finn:
Wait, what? What about Lady?

Jake:
Lady's my girlfriend.

Finn:
Wait, but... [thinks for a beat]

Jake:
That was Tree Trunks.

Finn:
Oh, yeah!

King of Ooo:
We the inhabitants of Ooo owe you heroes our very lives. As the once powerful and dignified Princess Bubblegum sulked off into exile, it fell upon you two to save us from the impending comet of doom and/or from the hideous Orgalorg, who aimed to eat the powerful comet and grow invincible! And for that, we are eternally grateful.

Toronto:
I know I am.

King of Ooo:
But now your bravery is essential to a new heroic task. [beat] Can you guess what it is?

Finn:
Uhh...

King of Ooo:
C'mon, guess!

Finn:
Umm... Fight a— fight a dragon?

King of Ooo:
Wrong! Follow me!

Bubblegum:
If the King of Ooo tries to come here again, you have my secret permission to stop him. No holds barred, Moosewood Stadium freestyle. So what're you two up to now?

Jake:
Ehh, guardin' stuff, I guess.

Finn:
Um... Hey, Bonnie? You always act like a loner, right? But next year your brother, you're the light of the party. Sorry, the light of the party.

Bubblegum:
I mean, yeah! One of the first things I did after making sure Neddy was safe was to start making the Candy People. I was formed in the mother-gum. My mind and my gum were in touch with dozens of others, like a crowded womb. I guess I missed that.

Jake:
But Neddy's from the same place you're from, and he's a wet hotdog around everyone!

Bubblegum:
People get built different. We don't need to figure it out, we just need to respect it. Maybe he likes his company more than I like mine.

Finn:
Well... do you miss the Candy People?

Marceline:
Knock knock. Yo, Peebs. You wanna make a midnight Squeez-E-Mart run? I'm gonna drink the red from out the customer's bloodshot eyes. [laughs] Psyche, I'll probably just get a Slushie. Bubblegum? [floats closely to the bed and touches her hair] Bonnibel?

King of Ooo:
[turns up] Wha?

Marceline:
Wahh!

King of Ooo:
Ahh!

Marceline:
[deadpan] Aaaahhh!

King of Ooo:
[vocalizes] Aaaaahhh...!

Marceline:
Ugh! What are you doing here?!

King of Ooo:
Be not afraid, my child, it is I, the one true princess of Ooo.

Marceline:
Wh-where's Bubblegum?! [King of Ooo jumps high as she slashes his pillow]

King of Ooo:
Ah-whoa, relax! Bubblegum is fine, just fine. [starts bouncing up and down] And deposed and powerless—so crushed by defeat was she, that the tyrant exiled herself to a sad cabin on the shores of Lake Butterscotch—technically still Candy Kingdom territory. But in my mercy, I've allowed her to remain.

Marceline:
You're the princess?! Since when?!

King of Ooo:
Well, by the reckoning of my new tyrantian calendar, Ooo's official calendar... uhh, two glorious months.

Marceline:
Two months? But... but then why didn't she te— Dugh! Bubblegum... [flies out of the opening further away]

King of Ooo:
Tell Bubblegum I wear her nightgown! Tell e-e-e-everyone!

Bubblegum:
Maybe we can find something useful around—ohh!! [sees writing on the wall reading "Marceline made me write this – Bonnibel Bubblegum"]

Marceline:
Your tag! We actually found it. Man, your handwriting hasn't changed at all. [laughs] Still as prissy and prim [turns back] as— wha..?

[Bubblegum starts breaking down in her tears]

Marceline:
Hey, h-hey, whoa, wait! I didn't mean... I like your handwriting, I think it's really pretty...

Bubblegum:
It's-it's not that... I lost my hat...

Marceline:
W...we can get you another hat.

Bubblegum:
I lost my hat, lost my home, lost my people... I can't even keep darn varmints out of my pumpkin patch.

Marceline:
Oh, Bonnie, you're...

Bubblegum:
I tried. I really, really tried. I just— I thought that if I shut everything out and just focused on work, it will all be okay. [debris starts crumbling down] And look what that landed me. All I managed to do was to push everyone away. I pushed you away. I'm sorry, Marceline. I've been a real dinger to you.

Marceline:
C'mon. Why are you even apologising for?

Starchy:
It's okay, baby. Starchy's here.

Cherry Cream Soda:
Oh, thank heavens. It was just another hallucination... [sees a soil-composed Root Beer Guy]

Root Beer Guy:
Honey, I'm barely upset that you're remarried.

Cherry Cream Soda:
But... how is this possible? You were zapped by Darren the Ancient Sleeper, your dome was cracked, your root beer soaked into the ground! I buried your remains in a mason jar which is now your head, and... an-and now I'm-I'm with Starchy. I'm mean, we're-we're legally married. You're legally dead. Not that I want to sound obsessed with legalities, but I am a lawyer.

Root Beer Guy:
Hey... where's that little statue I got you? It said "I wuv you" on the base of it? It was a little bear with his arms out like this? [sways a drawer across the room into a wall] He was all, "I wuv you, I wuv you, I wuv you." [topples and crashes couch over into the wall; its cracks seep up the roof and a light drops on Starchy]

Starchy:
No sudden moves, baby. He's got freaky-zombie strength.

Root Beer Guy:
[looks up] Maybe it's up here. Hup!

[he brings the entire fireplace down, along with its remaining bricks]

Root Beer Guy:
Did you hire a maid service or something while I was gone? I sure hope they didn't throw out the "I wuv you" bear.

Starchy:
Enough!! I should have put you in the ground a long time ago!

Root Beer Guy:
Hey. I came back for her. [stomps his foot, a series of typha seedpods pop out of the crack]

Cherry Cream Soda:
Root Beer Guy, if that is you in there, I'm so proud of you. But this isn't fair. You ended our life together when you pulled that lever. You made the choice, and you saved the Kingdom. But you lost me. [leaves him]

Starchy:
Heh, burn.

Root Beer Guy:
Cherry Cream Soda, I still wuv you—whoa! [trips over ottoman, crashes into wall; more seedpods pop out the crack. He turns back] You always wanted this wall knocked down anyways, right? [chuckles] Ooh...

Cherry Cream Soda:
Arrhh! Wahh!! You come back with no explanation, rack up the place and you expect to just pick up where we left off! Get out of my house!! [RBG crawls out of the wall and walks away]

Root Beer Guy:
I'm sorry.

[RBG leaves the house as Starchy watches him at the front door]

Starchy:
Starchy wins!

Football (BMO):
Hello. My name is Football.

Jake:
Very nice to meet you, Football.

Finn:
How'd you get the name Football, Football?

Football:
BMO gave it to me.

Jake:
Is Beemo your little your little papa?

[Football starts laughing and hops her right leg to the side. Finn scratches his head]

Finn:
Uhh... so... where do you live, Football?

Football:
The mirror.

Jake:
Oh, yeah? What's it like there?

Football:
Cold. Empty. It's... lonely.

Bubblegum:
You know I care about you. I think you're making the right choice. Your natural lifespan is going to be richer and fuller than you can imagine. And someday, when you die, I'll be the one that puts you on the ground.

Bubblegum:
You really like chopping wood, huh?

Peppermint Butler:
I'm not chopping wood. I made a toothpick from the ancient elm! See?

Bubblegum:
Oh-hoh! He-heh— [the tree crashes through the window] Whoa!! [a scathed Marceline peeks out the tree]

Marceline:
Uhh, knock knock.

Bubblegum:
What the dip, Marceline?!

Marceline:
Sorry, it was supposed to be a joke. Actually... I have something really serious to ask. I want you to do the procedure. The one we talked about?

Bubblegum:
I'm sorry, but I don't think you'd make a good blonde.

Marceline:
No, not that. I don't wanna be a vampire anymore.

Bubblegum:
[gasps] Oh, my globness!

Marceline:
You said you were working on a cure, right?

Bubblegum:
[sighs] Well, the machine is built and the serums are ready, but... are you sure you wanna do this?

Marceline:
I'm sure. Some bad things happened to me when I was little. When I became a vampire, I was just a messed-up kid. Now it's a thousand years later and I'm still messed up! [Peppermint Butler nods] I don't want to spend eternity like this... with this emptiness. I want to grow up.

Bubblegum:
Okay... let's do this.

Jake:
You done it this time, Marceline! You sucked the life out of defenseless animals!

Marceline:
I ain't done nothing!

Jake:
You think I'm buyin' that, Boom Boom Mountain?!

Marceline:
Oh, get some proof!

Jake:
You want proof? Look! [punches the ceiling, debris falls on his head] Ouch! Proof how often I'm gonna go if you don't confess!

Finn:
Yo, chill, Jake!

Jake:
[scales down] I'm wailing out!! [Finn sits on Jake]

Finn:
Listen, Marcy, I can barely control this guy. And the villagers are getting crazy! They want to run you over with a wagon, and I'm offering you a way out. [Peppermint Butler walks in]

Peppermint Butler:
Hey, dalewaids, I just swept the place.

Jake:
Sorry.

Marceline:
Finn, be real for a second.

Finn:
Alright.

Marceline:
Look into my eyes, man! I didn't do it!

[Finn stares in her deep solemn eyes. He grows suspicious as she starts twitching]

Finn:
To be honest, it looks like you're not sure if you did it.

Marceline:
Okay, I'm not sure! Something... weird happened last night. I had a weird dream about stuff.

Jake:
Dream stuff always means somethin'!

Finn:
We'll figure this out, Marcy, together. We promise.

Marceline:
Thanks, Finn.

Peppermint Butler:
That's cool, you guys, but clean this mess also, you bums.

Simon:
Hello, Marcy. I don't know if you'll ever hear this message. I fear my thoughts are no longer my own. Just... watch over me until I can find my way out of this labyrinth in my brain and regain my sanity! And then maybe Betty, my princess... maybe you will love me again. [gasps] Please love me again, Betty!! [crying hysterically] Okay, bye. [takes VHS tape out, topples camera] Hahh...

Marcy:
Hey, Simon. I, uh... finished packing your gear. So, can I have my tape now?

Simon:
What?! No! This is private, silly. [puts tape in sled] There you go, snug as a bug.

Marcy:
Seriously, Simon, please don't go.

Simon:
I... I have to protect you.

Marcy:
How can you protect me if you're not even here?!

Simon:
I'll arrange for someone to come take care of you. I'll make sure he doesn't leave.

Marcy:
Please, Simon, I can help you with this!

Simon:
Yeah. Maybe one day you will. But until then, you have to stay brave, my fearless Marceline.

[Simon tends to Marcy, as her left teardrop instantly freezes on his thumb and scratches under her eye]

Marcy:
Ouch!

Simon:
You see? I have to go now. Goodbye, Marcy. [runs with the sled dogs]

Marcy:
But— No! Wait!! [traps her foot in the snow] Simon! Simon!!

Empress:
Where are we? It's like we fell asleep on a raft and woke up in strange seas.

Hierophant:
Humph! Fell asleep? We died. The demon Marceline staked us all. Why are we back? How did it happen? Listen. I don't know and I don't care. We're alive, and I'm going to get eating!

Empress:
Ugh!

Fool:
[tries reattaching his loose fang] Ahhh... Hey, does anyone have any milk for this? Do you, like, carry milk?

Cow:
Mooooo. [Vampire King's hand holds him] Moo?

Empress:
This is well and good for you, Hierophant. All you ever needed was a forest and something hot to chew on. [Hierophant gnaws his instrument] Where are the comforts of the old hive? The minions, the blood... The good blood with the gold leaf flaked into it!

Vampire King:
The gold leaf was stupid. It didn't taste like anything.

Empress:
We had standards! It doesn't matter when we are or where we are because we are. [VK licks his tongue, smudges saliva on cow's eye like eyeliner] We must start rebuilding our realm. There's life here and I bet it's pathetic. [VK starts dancing with the cow] We march in, we take control, and we rebuild the hive! My King, are you listening?

Fool:
I dunno. Like... [yawns] What if we just got a loft downtown?

[a fused Empress warbles a beam at the entranced Fool]

Fool:
Whoops, I'm hypnotised. [slaps himself down] Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh! [crack!]

[Fool lodges himself onto Sister Moon's brains and she sways him away. Moon's head soon regenerates back]

Fool:
[laughing] Good ol' backwards egg!

Marceline:
Bonnie, I don't get it. Jake's talking about vamps at the same time you fixed me, and there can't be any still around!

Bubblegum:
Well, clearly something's creeping around.

Marceline:
Okay, what about the paste you took out of me? That should be all that's left that's vampiric in the modern world.

Bubblegum:
It's all over there, safely in the safety bucket. [all gone] What?! Pep But, what'd you do with the gunk?!

Peppermint Butler:
Hold on, I'm working.

Jake:
Okay, there was one that looked like if a baby snake was a baby-baby.

[Pep But scribbles in his sketchbook and shows an illustration of a larva-like thing with its tongue out on top]

Jake:
Nah, that's not right. There was another one that looked like if an ant hill were a girl.

[Pep But scribbles another, shows illustration of ant hill with eyelashes and lips]

Jake:
Nah, that's not right. There's one of them that looked like a wet uncle.

[Pep But scribbles another, shows illustration of a face with a tie, messy hair and moustache with teardrops]

Jake:
Nah, that's not right. There was a lady who looked like black drapes on a cake pop.

[Pep But scribbles another, shows illustration of a cake pop and drapes]

Jake:
Nah, that's not right. There was also one that looked like an angry stop sign coming out of a loaf of bread.

[Pep But scribbles another, shows illustration of what looks like a epicanthic folded face between two sides]

Jake:
Nah, that's not—oh, actually, that one's pretty close.

Finn:
You did a tremendous job guarding the cabin, Jake. But it looks like you need to be relieved.

Jake:
Yeah, I need relief. PB still working on new vampire-busting gear?

Finn:
Yeah, but she's almost done. No sign of Marceline, though. I think she ditched us to fight the vampires by herself—solo-style. We'll go look for her after PB's device is up and running. So, how did you pass the time?

Jake:
Patted my laps and made some rhymes. Stoop, stoop, sittin' on the stoop. Stoop, stoop, sittin' on the stoop... [walks into cabin, Finn sees something]

Finn:
Is that PB's outside clock? [sees grandfather clock punctured with holes] Looks like it's been staked. What did you do?

Jake:
[turns around, groans] I heard a loud snap, and my vampire-hunting reflexes kicked in!

Finn:
Dude, that was her Uncle Gumbald's outside clock.

Jake:
[squeaks] She doesn't have to know I broke the clock. Let's blame it on the vampires! [stretches his arms] Or we can hide it! Whoop! [pushes clock into the forest] Problem solved?! Yeah?! [Finn hi-fives] Whoop! [runs into cabin; Finn pauses for a beat]

Voice:
Snap.

Finn:
Aahh!! What was that?! Vampiyah!! [continues throwing his stakes screaming. Pan up to see Ice King sitting on a high branch]

Ice King:
Snap, snap, snapping branches for fun.

Hierophant:
[tinkers garlic bomb] What is with... all this tacky, plastic rubbish?!

LSP:
Are y'all hunting wabbits?

Hierophant:
Dunderheads! I can't even deal with all this... modern nonsense! The rest of you beat it!

Hierophant:
Marceline, listen to me. You will never defeat the Vampire King. You can't even defeat me in your current state. [Marceline sits down in Jake-House]

Marceline:
All right, what do you want?

Hierophant:
The truth is, I hate the King as much as you do. He's a total dink. I came looking for you because I want to team up. Then you started tempting me with boy blood [LSP flirts at him saying "Hey!"] and hurling spiky purple gobs at me. Here's the dope. You need me. [Marceline moves LSP back]

LSP:
Yeah, okay, girl, you got this.

Hierophant:
I don't know how it finally happened, but... he must have let you beat him.

[cut to Vampire King biting Marceline's neck while being staked]

Hierophant:
Am I right?

Marceline:
[beat, facepalms] Ugh!! All right. Say we do work together, you need to give up drinking blood. [turns invisible]

Hierophant:
I'm a vampire! Drinking blood is kind of the main thing.

Marceline:
And you can drink red just as easy. [he grunts] No hurting poor, scared blood-filled animals.

Hierophant:
[beat] Well, then I suppose I have no choice. I'm just going to waste you [grabs Marceline by the neck] and eat that kid because that's what an old-school vampire does! [behind the rustling bush comes out a crying Crunchy]

Crunchy:
I don't wanna play anymore! [bumps Hierophant into Jake-House]

Hierophant:
[gasps] No! I-I wasn't invited! [disintegrates] NOOOOO...!!

[Marceline flies over and sucks his essence; she absorbs the laughing soul inside of her. Finn observes his skull and bones]

Finn:
Geez. What happened?

Marceline:
Dude was too old-fashioned for his own good. He just couldn't get with the times.

[Finn and Jake burp constantly to a severely poisoned Marceline]

Bubblegum:
Cut it out! That's not helping her!

Finn:
But Mom and Dad always burped on us.

Jake:
It's a cure-all!

Bubblegum:
Sorry, guys, there are no cure-alls. Your parents were just burping on you for kicks.

Jake:
Oh, yeah, that makes sense. [burps] Oh, sorry, last one.

Bubblegum:
Auh! What did you eat, Jake?!

Jake:
Hey, now! I pride myself in having nice-smelling burps. Just kidding.

Bubblegum:
Pride, hmm. Do you guys know what "hubris" is?

Finn:
It's like an old-timey deity who weighed your deeds on a scale.

Bubblegum:
No, it means excessive pride or arrogance.

LSP:
That's like you, PB.

Finn:
Dude!

Bubblegum:
No, it's true. I believed in myself so much that I was blind to the possible consequences.

LSP:
Don't believe in yourself so much then, dum-dum!

Bubblegum:
[crying] Now my best friend is dying of poison because of me.

Jake:
That ain't true, PB! Marcy took a risk, and you helped her because you're her friend. Real friends take each other to the edge of death. 'Cause death is life! Right, Finn?

Finn:
Shoot, yeah! I get poisoned all the time just doing the dishes.

Peppermint Butler:
I get poisoned on purpose—for research. I have a poison lab back at the castle.

Bubblegum:
Well, let's get our butts over there, then! Find the Moon, Finn. We'll work on an antidote. You guys take her back to the poison lab. Maybe we can extract her healing powers.

Finn:
Word. [everyone runs off except LSP]

LSP:
Hey, wait! What should I do? You guys? [pushes a stake out of her] Brrrrr... Hahahahaha!

Vampire King:
How many times do you want to do this, Marceline? Our lives are magnetised. [Marceline morphs further and charges at him] We're in a negative loop. But we can change our outcome this time!

Marceline:
I like the outcome where you get staked!

Vampire King:
And you become a vampire?

Marceline:
Rrrrh... [morphs back to normal with her head being held]

Vampire King:
Marceline... [she starts punching his arm] I know I was ruthless in the past, but tell me. What's the one thing you've noticed about the world since you beat me all those hundreds of years ago?

Marceline:
Everything repeats over and over again. No-one learns anything, because no-one lives long enough to see the pattern, I guess.

Vampire King:
But you've lived long enough.

Marceline:
I know, duh.

Vampire King:
And you still think this is the right way, fighting me?

Marceline:
The other way's like a black hole. An unknown.

Vampire King:
So let's consult a witch.

[she immediately punches his face, sending him flying into a large thick cloud. She gets a spare stake from her left boot]

Marceline:
No witches.

[as she flies over, the thick clouds part away to see a vocalising Vampire King in a cloud pool and shreds his suit]

Vampire King:
I'm not afraid of the unknown! [pounding his chest] I have the power to change destiny! [shoots a twirling column of water high in the sky, thunder crashes] Queen of vampires! You weigh the scales of fate! Spill my guts or face the unknown! Either way, I will not bite! For turning you would subjugate me to the wheel of fortune, and I am a king, not a hamster. My path runs straight into the void on a sick flaming chariot! [bursts column and rains on Finn, Jake and Bubblegum]

Finn/Jake/Bubblegum:
Whoa...

Vampire King:
Stake me! I will not hide! [shreds his pants, thunder crashes] Do it, chicken! You make me sick! [drops down and squirms in his cloud pool]

Marceline:
Okay, dag! We'll take your stupid thing out!

Vampire King:
My what?

Marceline:
Your dang vamp juice! Come on!

Vampire King:
Cool.

Marceline:
Ohh, I'm gonna poop my pants if Finn kills this guy instead of me!

Marceline:
Well... finally did it, big guy. You won. Well played. [watches Bubblegum, Finn and Jake as they subdue the giant cloud monster] Just kind of wish you would've gotten it over with a thousand years ago and saved us all some trouble.

[the giant cloud monster passes underneath Marceline, drenching her as it heads to the Candy Kingdom]

Marceline:
Better late than never, I guess. [sighs, sings]

Smelled something bad

Just a sec, now it's gone

Was it there all along?

Smelled like garbage and cheese

Was it just on the breeze

Or was it me?

[another voice sings along] Was it reality? [she sees a flying ice wizard]

Ice King:
You remembered my song! [chuckling, lands down]

Marceline:
Simon? Wh... what are you doing here?

Ice King:
Well, I saw through my peeping scope that everything was going boom and exploding and monsters, and all my friends were in grave danger and horrible torment.

Marceline:
And you wanted to help?

Ice King:
No!! I felt left out. I'm just a phone call away, you know. [Marceline hugs behind Simon, tearing up]

Marceline:
I'm sorry, Simon. Next time, for sure. [sighs, sits down] Anyway, you don't want in on this fight. This one's a loser.

Ice King:
[sits beside her] Oh, I see. Sittin' this one out, huh?

Marceline:
Yeah, I guess. And don't try to talk me out of it.

Ice King:
What? No, no, I'm right there with you. You and me, we're survivors, right? Like cockroaches or rats. Sure, you could fight and try to save the day, but what if you lose? Then what? You could die! Better to run and hide like a rat. Right, buddy? [holds her in his embrace]

Marceline:
[pushes him] Unh! Did you just call me a cockroach, Simon?!

Ice King:
What? No! No, no, no... no.

Marceline:
[beat] Thanks, buddy.

Ice King:
..Yes.

Marceline:
Let's go in the garden, you'll find something waiting

Right there where you left it lying upside down

When you finally find it, you'll see how it's faded

The underside is lighter when you turn it around.

BMO:
Air? Are you there, Air? It's me, BMO. [walks to a snow-covered rock and sits down] I know it's been a long time since we talked. Sorry about that. But, well... maybe if you don't want to talk, you could just listen. Moe told me if I do this thing, I'll be all grown up. And that sounds cool, I guess. Like... [see a much taller BMO in his car] If I was grown, then I could drive to the playground all by myself. And... I could buy my own pacifiers at the store if I was grown. [tall BMO struggles to open the door] But then... if I change, will Finn and Jake still love me? [see smeared versions of Finn and Jake] Will I still love them? Moe changed into a new body... and he's still the same, I guess, sorta. But does growing up just change your body? Or... also your soul? [sighs] Maybe I could just stay the same forever.

[BMO falls out of trash compactor vent into a pile of debris]

Debris:
[spoke] "Who-who's there? Moe?"

BMO:
No, it's only me... BMO.

Debris:
"BMO? Oh, thank goodness. Oh, us so glad you're here."

BMO:
Who are you? Are you a MO too?

Debris:
"Oh, BMO, no, no, no. I am All MOs."

BMO:
All MOs? Uhh... I don't understand.

All MOs:
"Of course not. I'm so sorry. Let me explain." [flashback to an earlier point in time] "Peace had reigned at Moe's wondrous factory for a hundred hundred years. There was a place for every MO, and every MO was in its place. If you wanted a free hug, all you had to do was ask. No-one could say no. It was a rule. Until one fateful day—yesterday—when a mysterious viral signal somehow breached our firewall and was broadcast throughout the factory, instructing all us MOs to do somersaults into the trash compactor all day long..."

BMO:
That's horrible.

All MOs:
"And we've been trapped here all smushed together ever since."

BMO:
That's horrible, too. How... how do we get out?

All MOs:
"Well, that's why we're so glad you're here, BMO. You're the key, the key to escape. Only you can save us now."

[LSP sees Jake seated on a cliff edge in front of a sunset, floats over and shouts at him]

LSP:
Excuse me!! Are you not aware that we are all working our steamy butts off down there so we don't get wiped out by this crazy sky nightmare?!

Jake:
Whoa, whoa! Hold up! I'm working on something up here. It's—

LSP:
I SEE NOTHING!! YOU'RE WORKING ON NOTHING!!

Jake:
Look, LSP, can we just take a moment to appreciate this... moment? Look at this crazy sweet sunset. [sees a cloud swirling in the sunset] When's the next time you're gonna see a sunset like this? Or any sunset, really? [wipes a tear leak off his eyes] Who knows how long we'll be down there? [an eagle lands on Jake's hand along with some critters and birds before LSP gets impatient and loses it]

LSP:
BWAAAHHHH!!! I obviously love sunsets and cute animals, but we don't have time for this right now!!

Jake:
But I—

LSP:
You know what? [inhales sharply] I just can't with you right now. [turns back away from Jake]

Jake:
Can't what? [the eagle lands back on his head, screeches]

Jake:
Guys, I think this storm is more than just some scary clouds and weather junk. We've been treating each other like ding-dongs since we've been down here.

LSP:
Duh! This bunker is the worst!

Jake:
Nah, nah. I think this storm's carrying some major negative energy or something.

Finn:
Bad jubies.

Jake:
It's making us all go nanners! I think I can help, though. Let me show you what I've been working on.

[he clears his throat, takes a deep breath and starts whistling as birds chirping. Finn, LSP and BMO stare at Jake for a beat. He then mimics water and frog sounds; he takes a deep breath and makes forest sounds. BMO is moved and wipes off his tear]

BMO:
That is so beautiful!

Prismo:
Thanks for responding to my call, guys. I'm in a serious pickle, and I mean the bad kind—I mean like, a really smelly brown pickle?

Jake:
Don't sweat it, boi! Finn and I got your back.

Finn:
Who's bullying you, Prismo?

Prismo:
Nobody's bullying me. Look, um... remember when you wished the Lich never existed and you created a new wish reality that ended up totally not working out?

Both:
No. / Vaguely, yes.

Finn:
What?

Jake:
You don't remember making that wish?

Finn:
Wha..?

Jake:
I thought I explained to you that one time.

Prismo:
Dude, I'll catch you up. Look. [turns on TV wall to see alternate Finn and Jake playing the flute and howling, respectively] After you wished the Lich never existed, you got zapped to an alternate wish reality where magic doesn't really exist.

Finn:
Wait! [pause video] Who's that dude?

Prismo:
That's you, but sort of less cool.

Finn:
..Uh-huh. Proceed.

Prismo:
So, you find an old Marceline and the magic crown on the body of Ice King's skeleton, who was smushed under the weight of a frozen mutagenic bomb. But then, the Destiny Gang steal your family donkey, so you used the crown to become Ice Finn and save your donkey and your family. But... the crown makes you crazy and you ice everything up like a dumb bozo, which sets off the mutagenic bomb and releases the spirit of the Lich anyway. But then, this reality's Jake made a counter which would supposedly fix the problem, but as it turns out, it didn't really.

Finn:
Can I just say that I don't remember any of this stuff?

Prismo:
Because, technically, it didn't happen to you. But also, it still happened and that wish reality continues to exist.

Finn:
[beat] Is this why all of a sudden one day I was way better at the flute?

Jake:
Oh yeah, I noticed that.

Prismo:
Listen! Something really bad is about to go down. [summons projection] Ice Finn is using his world's Enchiridion to build a portal to the multiverse. We literally do not know what will happen if he succeeds, but it could defs be catastrophic to the architecture of these realities. Now, if that happens, my boss—let me repeat that—my boss will hold me responsible. And by proxy, y'all both will be in the dip, too.

Finn:
Why not just bloop-bloop it all better?

Prismo:
Something there is dampening my powers! I am losing my picks over this biz!!

Jake:
[to Finn] His boss? Who's that?

Finn:
Alright, man. What do we do? [Prismo summons a case to him]

Prismo:
Take this and use it to take care of the Ice Finn.

Finn:
Oh. Wait, what do you mean by "take care of—"?

Prismo:
Good luck, guys! We're all depending on you!