Cow and Chicken

[After Chicken stamps a price tag on her labelled 19 cents]

Cow:
My buns are only 19 cents??? [Tearful] I'm soo cheap! [She starts to cry]

[Playing "My First Battleboat" game with Chicken]

Cow:
Aa-aa! Ladies first!

[After Chicken removed all his feathers to trade them with the Feather Fairy]

Cow:
Mom said, "Never go to the carnival naked."

[In an skittish voice]

Cow:
Cousin Sow, you are such a pig.

Cow:
[about her parents] Sometimes, I question their sanity.

Cow:
Evewyone can whistle, Chicken, it is one of wife's specio out gifts.

Supercow:
Supercow! Al rescate! [translates as "Supercow to the Rescue!"]

Supercow:
Oye, Diablo! Eso lo vas a sentir!

Supercow:
Que me pasa? Yo soy supercow, defendedora de la justicia!

Chicken:
Ooh, mom! I needed that money to buy socks! [points to his chicken-clawed feet]

Chicken:
No, I do not choose to play no stupid cow-games!

[After being put into detention for destroying the school]

Chicken:
Thanks a loads, Larry!

Chicken:
Not only am I not a boy, I'm not even a chicken! [breaks into tears]

Chicken:
Remind me to put myself up for adoption.

[Whilst playing "Immoral Wombat" video game]

Chicken:
Take that, you wussie wombat!"

Dad:
You know, Mama? It's times like these that make me proud to be a man!

Mom:
Me, too!

[This can also go the other way, with Mom saying "It's times like these that make me proud to be a woman!" With Dad saying "Me, too!"]

Dad:
If you something bad were to happen to your sister... we'd be pretty mad!

The Red Guy:
Hello! It's me: [followed by some false identity, often with a name that is a butt-related pun, including:]

The Devil! I stand for all that is bad! [laughs] Also, I'm butt-naked! [laughs] I love evilness, I hate goodness, and MY nudity, right, Cerberus?

The Red Guy!

Lance Sackless!

The Naked Guy!

The Warden!

The First Mate! HAHAHAHA!

Rear-Admiral Floyd!

Red Hiney!

Cleopantless, Queen of DeNile!

Tallulah Bottoms, recently departed!

Lord of all Space-Mud!

YER DRILL SERGEANT!

Mrs. Beaver, your personal sensitivity trainer! [squeals girlishly]

Your Director, Louie B. Bare!

The Director, Ivan Panced! COULD YOU TELL?!

The Great Pantzini! The circus is in town, so come on down, and kiss a clown!

Larry Lackapants, Arkansas Cheese-Master, soon to be the King & Queen of Cheese!

Sir Pants-are-off, knight-mare extraordinaire! Fear and intimidation are my sword, stealth and fraud my shield!

Should you be scared? Oh, yes, very! Why, you say? 'CAUSE I'M THE COPY FAIRY!

[Showing up at the end of an episode he has been absent from]

The Red Guy:
Hello! It's me, Lance Sackless! [chuckles] As you may have noticed, I am not in this film. [angrily gets out a contract] This is my contract, and it has been VI-O-LA-TEEEEEED! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE SHOW! Oh, [chuckles awkwardly] but I'm in the show right now. [reads the contract for a moment; cricket noises are heard] Never mind! [continues to chuckle as the episode ends]

The Red Guy:
Hello! I'm Bunny, your flight attendant! Ooh, isn't it a great day to be HURLED THROUGH THE AIR 23 billion feet above the Earth, with - what do you know? - a very, very thin shell of aluminum between you and a 10-MINUTE SCREAMING DROP?!

The Red Guy:
Hello, little teeny-tiny people! [bounces around the stage on his buttocks] I'M YOUR NEW PLASTIC SURGERY COOOOOACH!

The Red Guy:
Hello, ladies! Ivan Panced here - but you won't hear ME complain! [laughs] Walk a-dis waaaaay! [walks away using his buttocks; everyone follows him in the same manner]

The Red Guy:
[surrounded by snakes] Oh, hello there! HAVE YOU MET MY ASPS?! They're really nice once you get to know them...

The Red Guy:
Pardon me, Mr. Cow, but I don't speak Spanish.

[An excuse he gives after loudly screaming at another character]

The Red Guy:
Oh, I'm so sorry. I thought you was my grandma.

The Red Guy:
Now I can die happy!

The Red Guy:
Oh, yippee-ki-yuka-YAY!

[About why he's wearing milking gloves while acting as Cow's doctor]

The Red Guy:
Well, I'm thirsty and your daughter's a cow. DO THE MATH!

[Flem's dad can't explain how Flem and Earl got lost in their own bathtub]

The Red Guy:
Of course Flem's dad couldn't explain what had happened, BECAUSE HE'S AN IDIOT! Oh, just look at those shorts!

The Red Guy:
[as "Rear Admiral Floyd"] Weeeeell, I'm not asking you to buy my military scout cookies - I'M TELLING YOU!

The Red Guy:
[bouncing around on his butt] This is the happiest day of my li-i-i-i-ife! [Chicken's falling tree fort crushes him and he is flattened] This is the flattest day of my life.

Mom:
Where would we be without you, Boneless Chicken?

Boneless:
Where?! Well, you could be stuck in a creek without a paddle or burning your bridges before they're axed. Who can say, really?

[After hearing people laugh when he spoke]

Boneless:
No, really! That wasn't a joke!

Drugs Testing Woman:
You won't be wrestling today, yesterday, or three years ago!

Teacher:
All right, class, this is pi. As in "SHUT YER PIE-HOLE!"

Man at Crying Club:
...and then my grandma BEAT UP MY DOG!