DuckTales, Season 2

Launchpad:
Gee, she's nice. Do you think I made an impression?

Huey:
What? When you knocked over the statue, or when you ran into the door?

Launchpad:
All three.

Bubba:
Skooge home?

Scrooge:
No, Bubba, no home. Och, I'm starting to talk like him. Launchpad, how soon can we get back in the air?

Launchpad:
It's in pretty deep, Mr. McDee. We're gonna need help.

Bubba:
Bubba help.

Scrooge:
You've helped enough already. Boys, you stay here.

Bubba:
Bubba come?

Scrooge:
No, Bubba stay. Launchpad come... Och, I'm starting to talk like him.

Burger:
Hey look, it's Ma! She musta broke outta jail!

Bouncer:
That's not Ma; it's Bigtime.

Burger:
Oh yeah; Ma's beard is darker.

Glomgold:
[seeing Scrooge on the news] Quick, give me something to throw!

[Bouncer gives him a vase, which Glomgold throws into the TV]

Glomgold:
AAH! That vase is worth a quarter-million dollars!

Bouncer:
Not anymore!

Scrooge:
Gyro was right; Bubba's already costing me money! I've got to get him away from here. I know - you can take care of him!

Louie:
But we gotta go to school!

Scrooge:
Fine! Take 'im to school. Take 'im to the zoo. Take 'im to the cleaners! But just take 'im away from me!

[At the Natural History Museum]

Tour Guide:
Scientists say that the Triceratops was a slow-moving, gentle creature.

[Bubba and Tootsie come charging through the room, wreaking havoc]

Tour Guide:
...But what do they know?

[The Beagle Boys have taken over Scrooge's money bin, and Scrooge assembles an army outside to storm the bin.]

Glomgold:
Aw, what happened? Did you lose your key?

Scrooge:
Has anyone ever told you you're a deceitful, lying vulture?

Glomgold:
Aw, now you make me blush. But times a wasting! You owe me ten million dollars by noon tomorrow, or you can kiss your diamond mine goodbye! [his car speeds off]

Scrooge:
Ohh, YOU...! YOU...!

[wheels around and points his cane at the bin]

Scrooge:
CHAAAAAAARGE!

Glomgold:
[chasing Bubba and Tootsie] I'll get you, laddie, and your little dinosaur too!

[riding on Tootsie's back with Bubba]

Scrooge:
Bubba, I need to find a phone!

Bubba:
Phone?

Scrooge [mimes answering a telephone] Ring, ring, hello?

Bubba:
[mimes back] Hewwo!

Scroobe:
Never mind, just turn here.

Duckworth:
And therefore, in the words of the immortal Shakespeare, "hit the road, Jack!"

Scrooge:
Launchpad! You actually brought us down without crashing!

Launchpad:
Oh, great! There goes my reputation!

Glomgold:
Soon this cave will be mine, unfair and square!

Scrooge:
A day without looking at me Money Bin is like a day without sunshine!

Fenton:
Together we can turn the financial world upside down!

Scrooge:
Do you mind if we start with my clothes?

Ma Beagle:
You goofs! What am I supposed to do with an empty Money Bin?! Live in it, like the old lady in the shoe?

Launchpad:
[on walkie-talkie] Launchpad to Mr. McDee, Launchpad to Mr. McDee. The Money Bin and I are a on a roll.

Scrooge:
Just make sure you don't roll into anything. [hears some noises over the walkie-talkie] What's all that racket?

Launchpad:
Eh, nothing to be concerned about. Just a little fender-bender, that's all.

Scrooge:
[hears people screaming] Why are people screaming?

Launchpad:
Ah, the sissies never saw a shopping mall collapse before. But don't worry; I'm OK!

Scrooge:
How far are you from the mountain I bought?

Launchpad:
I'd say about an hour, give or take a crash or two. Ooh, kiss that billboard goodbye. Launchpad, over and out!

Fenton:
The Money Bin's full! Your frozen assets are now lukewarm.

Scrooge:
Good, Fenton! Every last dime's been accounted for?

Fenton:
Yup! Except for the dime I used to make this call.

Scrooge:
Dime? What dime?!

Fenton:
Oh, just an old shiny one.

Scrooge:
In a glass case?!

Fenton:
Yeah, but I'll pay you back.

Scrooge:
That was the first dime I ever earned, you idiot! Why else would it be in a case?!

Fenton:
Blatherin' blatherskite! I thought it was for emergency phone calls!

Scrooge:
Get it back, now! Or you're FIRED! [phone explodes in Fenton's face]

Fenton:
I think he's mad.

Fenton:
Uh, hi! I'm your new neighbor! Could I borrow the proverbial cup of sugar?

Ma Beagle:
Uh, well, uh, I don't have a proverbial cup. Will a tin one do?

Fenton:
Of course you know, this means a skirmish.

Ma Beagle:
How dare you steal what my boys rightfully stole first!

Bigtime:
It's bad enough that Jack Frost is nipping at my nose without youse guys bloodyin' it!

Fenton:
It must be something you said; a secret word. Here goes - uh, "Ducks of Hazard." Uh, "now look what you've done!" ...Oh, blatherin' blatherskite! What could it be!?

Fenton:
[in disguise] Hi, Ma! It's me, Bermuda Beagle, back from being lost for 20 years in the Bermuda Triangle!

Ma Beagle:
Bermuda Beagle? I don't remember a son named Bermuda. 'Course, I got more boys than a toad has warts!

Fenton:
Ah, the old place looks just like I remember it!

Baggy:
Ahhh, but we didn't live here 20 years ago.

Fenton:
B-but what does it matter? The point is, we were together, a family. And by golly, any low-down worm that disagrees, he'll just have to take it up or we'll forklift it out of his hide. Speaking of hide, let's Beagle-bond a bit with a rousing game of hide-and-seek!

Burger:
Ooh, ooh, goody! Who's gonna be it?

Fenton:
Let's flip for it! Heads I win, tails you lose. Anybody got a bag full of dimes we could use?

Ma Beagle:
Hold it, you canine counterfiet! Look at this family photo. No Bermuda!

Fenton:
Uh, would you believe I was adopted?

Fenton:
Wakey-wakey. Hello, little boy. I'm the Tooth Fairy, and have I got a deal for you.

Baggy:
Uh, really?

Fenton:
Yes. If you give me that bag of dimes, I'll give you this bag of teeth.

Bigtime:
Better hang onto those - I think you're gonna need 'em!

Duckworth:
Announcing a dripping dunderhead, sir!

Ma Beagle:
Oh, I've always wanted a pink Thunderduck! Let's borrow it... permanently!

Ma Beagle:
If you don't like how I drive, get outta the hallway!

Ma Beagle:
Burger, if you don't control that appetite, I'm going to lose control of the car! [Burger jumps out]

Burger:
[ridiculous order, to a disguised GizmoDuck]

GizmoDuck:
That'll be a large bag of dimes, please. [Burger hands over the stolen bag of dimes] Thanks, sucker!

Fenton:
Hey, Ma! Look what I'm wearing!

Ma Crackshell:
Fenton, did you join a heavy metal band?

City Official:
This is worse than the terrorists who held the city attorney hostage with an accordion!

Ma Beagle:
Oh, this party is a dream come true! Who'd have thought I'd be hob-knobbing with Duckburg's finest?

Bigtime:
What're you talkin' about, Ma? You've been in most of their homes before.

Ma Beagle:
Yeah, but only to swipe their silverware.

GizmoDuck:
Gandra! Would you believe you've stolen my heart?

Gandra:
So is that any reason to steal my car?

Ma Beagle:
It's thieves like them who are making the world a lousy place to live for thieves like us!

Ma Beagle:
[chasing Huey, Dewey & Louie] Come back with that cash!

Burger:
[follows] Come back with those desserts!

Scrooge:
[after alien robots steal the Money Bin] You haven't seen the last of me, you purse snatchers from space!

Launchpad:
What's more important, a couple of quadrillion dollars or your life?

Scrooge:
Is this a multiple-choice question?

Fenton:
[watching Scrooge freak out and begin to make squirrel noises] Interesting...

Scrooge:
Fenton, it's Saturday! You were supposed to sign that lease extension yesterday!

Fenton:
That's what I don't understand, Mr. McDuck! I flew out here yesterday, but when I arrived, it was already tomorrow. Talk about your long flights!

Scrooge:
Wait a minute. You did leave yesterday, which was Thursday. That means today should be Friday!

Fenton:
Right now, I'd be happy if it was Tuesday and this was Belgium!

General Chiquita:
It's your last day, McDuck! For assaulting the president of the Banana Republic, I order you and your amigo here shot at high noon!

Fenton:
Is that high noon on Friday, or Saturday?

Fenton:
But I'm too young to die! And too nice! And much, much too nervous!

Scrooge:
What's going on? High noon isn't for another hour!

General Chiquita:
I thought I would save you needless anguish by moving up the execution.

Fenton:
But, but I was just starting to enjoy my anguish!

Fenton:
Friends, Romans, and banana lovers! I regret that I have but one life to give to your ridiculous country!

Scrooge:
Fenton, you're a genuine genius!

Fenton:
Oh, I bet you say that to all the genuine geniuses.

Scrooge:
[after Bubba causes a stack of books to fall down] Well, you get an "A" in home wreckonomics.

Scrooge:
[Getting out of bed] Time to make like interest rates and rise.

Fenton's Mother:
I'm so proud! My own son on Oprah Webfeet! And to think your class voted you most likely to become homeless.

Mrs. Crackshell:
[Reading a telegram from Fenton] Dear Mama, if you thought my head was in the clouds before, you should see me now. Your ever-loving and free-floating son, Fenton. P.S. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!

Scrooge:
Well, you're no-good, low-down degenerates who belong behind bars, but... keep up the good work!

Ma Beagle:
Just shut up and suffer for your art!

Dr. von Swine:
Now I must go! I have a one o'clock beak transplant, and I can't keep the patient waiting or she won't pay for her bill.

Ma Beagle:
Hang on, boys! Your mother's about to enter the state of matrimony!

Burger:
Is that the state near Minny-soty?

Ma Beagle:
How about a little kiss goodnight? [Puckers up]

Scrooge:
I'd rather kiss Shamu the whale!

Laurence Loudmouth:
We don't need facts, we're in television!

Scrooge:
I'm allergic to money, you know. All I have to do is touch it and I break out into a rash of cash!

Glomgold:
You understand what to do?

Dijon:
Perfectly, Mr. Gleamgold. I mean, Goldheart. Heartburn?

Glomgold:
Glomgold, you brick-brain!

Dijon:
You are very perceptive, sir. Most people are not aware of Dijon's brain.

Scrooge:
There's one mite missing! It could multiply!

[Gizmoduck gets distracted while he is supposed to be rescuing a man from a crumbling platform. He finally saves the panicked guy in the nick of time by flying up with his propellor.]

Gizmoduck:
[points to his propellor helmet] And I bet you thought my head was only filled with brains!

Rescued Citizen:
Oh, I would never think that!

Scrooge:
Fenton, don't you think it's time you went and called your friend? [winks repeatedly]

Fenton:
I think I oughta call a doctor, looks like you got somethin' in your eye!

Fenton:
(on climbing under a moving train) Kids, don't try this at home!

Scrooge:
Waiter! There's an airplane in my soup!

Fenton:
If I have to, I'll save Mr. McDuck's money armed only with my wits! And no cracks about going into battle unarmed!

Ma Crackshell:
(watching a soap opera) Oh, Valerie, don't marry Drake! He's a cad, a scoundrel; not to mention he's a beakened gizzard.

Webby:
Duckworth, have you seen Hewey, Dewey and Louie?

Duckworth:
No, Miss Webigail, my morning has been quite calm.

Townspeople:
THE GREAT ONE HAS CHOSEN! ALL HAIL SKOOGE!

Scrooge:
That's Scrooge!

Townspeople:
WHATEVER.

Fenton:
[being dragged out of Scrooge's office] Give me a shot!

Scrooge:
You got it!

[He points an antique shotgun into the air and fires a warning blast.]

Fenton:
465!

Scrooge:
465 what?

Fenton:
Uh, shotgun pellets.

Scrooge:
[dumbstruck] You counted them?

Fenton:
I... sort of have a knack for that.

Scrooge:
Oh, yeah? Count this.

[He tosses a handful of coins into the air, then quickly catches them again.]

Fenton:
$1.78.

Scrooge:
[looks] Amazing! To the penny! You're hired.

Louie:
I…need…a…break!

Louie:
I thought life with a treasure hunter would be way more treasure, and way less hunting.

Huey:
Isn't it great?! Charting the unknown, following in the family tradition of adventure! [holding a family portrait of Donald, Scrooge, and Della]

Louie:
You remember Mom got lost in space, right?

Huey:
Well, yeah. But she went solo without any help. We're a fine-tuned action machine! I'm the brains, Webby's the fist, Dewey's the devil-may-care guts, you... are there too! Plus, it's earned me the rank of Senior Junior Woodchuck. Two stripes! Look, I'm sure you'll get time off after we find this treasure. Unless this treasure is cursed, and dispelling the curse leads to a whole other adventure, and so on, forever, let's go!

Louie:
Fine. Hey, maybe when we get back, you can earn that sewing badge.

Huey:
[laughs] Please, I earned my sewing badge ages ago. Come on, I mean-

Louie:
Then how did this guy come loose?

Huey:
[looks at the second stripe loose on the left sleeve; horrified] That's impossible.

Louie:
Oh, you must be more tired than you realized. You're slipping.

Huey:
I never would've used a slip stitch. That is amateur hour! All this constant adventuring must have torn it apart!

Louie:
[gets an idea] Uncle Scrooge! All this constant adventuring is tearing us apart!

Scrooge:
There's no better bonding experience than a high-stakes, death-defying adventure.

Louie:
What about a quiet movie night in? Oh, or make-your-own-pizza night? Ooh, how about game night?

Scrooge:
[obvious Hidden excitement in his expression] ..... Game night?

Scrooge:
GAAAAME NIIIGHT!!!

Beakley:
Oh, no.

Louie:
Ready for a relaxing night in?

Beakley:
You know how competitive he gets when he's trying to best an enemy? On Game Night, we are the enemies.

Scrooge:
[whispering to Donald] If we lose, you're out of the will.

Donald:
I was in the will?

[Scrooge keeps guessing Donald's pantomimes correctly]

Dewey:
Oh, so that's why he picked Donald.

Webby:
He spent 30 years guessing what Donald was saying, he must get good at non-verbal communication.

Beakley:
Time!

Donald:
It was a Mermanticore!

Scrooge:
[offended] That was a Mermanticore?! THIS is a Mermanticore!

Beakley:
Mr. McDuck and Donald scored 34.

Huey:
[after Gyro and Launchpad have been shrunk] Louie, I know this is our night off, but we gotta do something.

Louie:
Why? Gyro's a genius, and Launchpad has crashed so many times, I'm convinced he may be immortal!

Louie:
[after Launchpad calls, after nearly getting crushed by a jenga tower, causing an emotional joyous reaction from Huey and Louie] It's nice to talk to friends on the phone. It's so much more personal than texting!

Scrooge:
Behold, the final challenge. Scroogeopoly! The thrilling game of finance and property acquisition.

Dewey:
The final challenger feels extremely rigged. Your face is literally on the box.

Louie:
I have 13 different apologies depending on how mad you are.

Scrooge:
[seriously] Close the door.

Louie:
Oh, you're that mad.

Scrooge:
Do you know how I made my fortune?

Louie:
Yes. By being tougher than the toughies, and smarter than the smarties.

Scrooge:
And sharper than the sharpies. People don't know about that one. The ability to read a situation and see all the shortcuts and the possibilities. Your mother could do it. So can you.

Louie:
I can?

Scrooge:
I should have seen it, the way you were picking apart those adventures earlier. The "whoa," the "wait, what," the "aah." If you apply that gift, you might be a bigger billionaire than I am one day. [gives Louie the idol] Here. It's not a Number One Dime, but it's a start.

Dewey:
I said, don't interrupt me unless something exciting happens.

Huey:
What's more exciting than dendrochronology?

Dewey:
Ghouls, goblins, time paradoxes, daring quests that will cement our names in history. You get the idea.

Scrooge:
[as his can-phone rings] Do not answer that. [sigh] That can is your Cousin Fethry calling from a top-secret deep-sea laboratory.

Dewey:
Top secret?!

Huey:
Deep-sea laboratory?!

Scrooge:
Don't get too excited. Fethry's a bit... well, he's, uh...

Donald:
He's cuckoo bananas.

Scrooge:
Best to ignore it. Every time we get a call from Fethry, we rush down there just to go on some fool's errand wrapped up in a needlessly dangerous adventure. With rambling lectures...

Donald:
And the explosions...

Scrooge:
And avoiding that mega-tsunami...

Donald:
And the explosions...

Scrooge:
All to see a barnacle formation in the shape of a tractor or some such nonsense.

Donald:
Big waste of time.

Oceanika:
[seductivly] Launchpad! Oh Launchpad!

Launchpad:
Oceanika? Is that you, my love?

Fethry:
[appearing upside down in front of Huey and Dewey] WARNING! [Huey and Dewey both scream startlingly] Never drink sea water! Tempting as it is, it'll just make you thirstier. [happily] Hooray, little Donalds! You are here!

Fethry:
Donalds? I'd like you to meet our distinguished team.

Huey:
[excited] Oooooh!

Fethry:
[holding a jar of bioluminescent shrimp] Team, meet Lil' Donalds One and Two. Boys, meet Charles, Sylvia, Cameron, Philippe, Fish Breath, Simone, Virgil, Beverly, Nicholas, Alistair, Benji, Dr. Krill, and of course, the ever-feisty Hans.

Huey:
Uhhh...

Dewey:
That's the team?!

Fethry:
Mhmm. Their natural bioluminescence can light our way if need be. It guarantees we always have a light source as we go deeper.

Huey:
See? Not weird. Brilliant and resourceful and-

Dewey:
He's singing to them.

Huey:
Am I right that this is the bathypelagic zone we're approaching?

Fethry:
Down here we call it the deep deep total absolute very very bottom zone. It's easier to remember.

Dewey:
Whoa. Like a mirror into your future.

Huey:
Come on. I mean, sure, we're both clearly brilliant, but we're not that similar.

Dewey:
Okay, okay. You both have the "nerd out" gene, you're both obsessed with weird stuff, you both wear red caps that you never take off.

Huey & Fethry:
[pull out their Junior Woodchuck Guidebooks; in unison] The Junior Woodchuck Guidebook states that a warm head breeds warm, healthy thoughts. [Huey trails off into an interrogation at the last part]

Fethry:
Ah, always good to see a fellow Chucker.

Huey:
[nervously] I'm not that into the Junior Woodchucks. More of a part-time hobby.

Dewey:
Well, Huey's gone sea-mad. We're dead.

[after Mitzy saves Fethry, Huey, and Dewey]

Huey:
She saved him! She saved all of us! She truly is-

Dewey:
The Dewnificent Krilldebeest. Write that down in your book. Did you get it? Did you hear what I said?

Huey:
Uh, sure.

Dewey:
No, come on, write it. It's science now.

[Launchpad is dressed in aquatic armor, and holding a trident]

Launchpad:
Farewell, sweet Oceanika. Whenever I put a conch shell to my ear, I won't hear the ocean, I'll hear your-

Dewey:
Uh, Launchpad, what happened to you?

Launchpad:
Oh. Just ran into an old friend, snorkeled around, saw some... sea stuff.

Huey:
Breathe, just breathe.

Donald:
I've done nothing with my life! I'm a failure!

Scrooge:
Awww, that never bothered you before.

Huey:
Uncle Donald, you're very successful! You raised three boys and a rich in love. Isn't that the true measure of success?

Donald & Scrooge:
No!

Donald:
Huey, you gotta help me!

Huey:
Help you? Well, I have been looking to earn my improve theater merit badge… How about you play the part of someone successful?

Donald:
Lie? Perfect!

Scrooge:
Nonsense. You do what you want, but I will not help you lie to impress that band of braggartios.

Huey:
If you blow up our cover, Jose will probably get mad and you'll have to pay for this trip yourself.

Scrooge:
Donald, we have to lie to your friends, ya hear?!

Huey:
Just keep it small and simple. Sorry, everyone. Uncle Donald had a, um, very important business call.

Donald:
From McDuck Enterprises, my company. I'm a billionaire.

Panchito:
The same Donald, who searched our couch cushions for corn chips, now owns McDuck Enterprises?

Huey:
Yes… and, he's taking over the family business so Scrooge can retire.

Scrooge:
Geh?

Donald:
'Cause he's so old. Very, very old.

Webby:
[translating the Drosera occidendum's inscription in English] "Long ago, an invading force let a bloody massacre that left the town empty. From the wreckage, a single flower grew, proving that no matter how terrible a tragedy, life will always find a way to bloom anew. Now, the town celebrates this triumph every year." Or something like that. My Portuguese is a little enferrujado.

Dewey:
Webby, get out of the way, you're ruining my shot with your story!

Webby:
My story provides context for your photo!

Dewey:
Of course. This is a moment of a cultural significance. Louie, get a full-body shot. Hit it.

Louie:
Okay, now look thoughtful. No, not confused. Oh, okay, don't move. That's the stuff!

Dewey:
Della's not here. I think she was attacked. [Donald licks a tree with a red stain on it. Dewey exclaims in disgust]

Young Donald:
Attacked by a case of the munchies. It's just jelly.

Dewey:
What would you have done if it wasn't?

Della:
Merry Christmas, boys. I'll see you soon.

Louie:
Nope, gross. Old people romance, bleh.

Scrooge:
We weren't old back then.

Louie:
It's impossible to picture you young.

Scrooge:
Goldie was and remains a pain in my pen feathers. No romance there.

Louie:
So there's no getting mushy, no kissing, no hand holding?

Scrooge:
Well… [cut back to the past] You coffee boiling bunkle artist!

Goldie:
You hard cased old croaker!

Marshal:
Oh, good! You two know each other! I want to remind y'all once more that the town hall meeting is tomorrow. Um, farewell?

Scrooge:
You're encroaching on my pay duct!

Goldie:
How do you know I didn't find the claim first and you're stealing from me?!

Scrooge:
Is that true?!

Goldie:
No. I followed you here to steal your gold. But the fact that you didn't think the opposite is hurtful, Scroogie.

Scrooge:
Gah! Take a right, Goldie! I've had enough of your babbling bazo.

[Back to the present]

Louie:
Whoa. Can we cut back on the old prospector slang a bit?

[Back to the past]

Scrooge:
Get lost, dude! You're killing my vibe, man!

Louie:
[voice-over] Nope, uh-uh. That's worse. Just go on.

Goldie:
I'm not going anywhere, ya tightwad!

Scrooge:
Then you'll have to race me to the motherload, cause I'm working day and night until I find that gold! [Goldie throws a pickax, which hits his foot] Gah, OW!

Goldie:
You'll need that, hon, 'cause I just bought out all the town's dynamite.

Roxanne:
This just in, Scrooge McDuck has died of gold fever.

Della:
Where are my--? [gasps as she spots her sons with Webby; then smiles warmly]

Dewey:
Who's the cyborg?

Huey:
Is that…?

Louie:
It can't be.

Webby:
Guys, I think that's your mom.

[Della sits on her knees with tears welling in her eyes]

Scrooge:
Huey, Dewey, Louie, meet Della Duck.

Dewey:
[chuckles] I'm part robot! I knew it!

[He runs up to his mother and hugs her. As Della rubs her hands on her son's face, her tearful joy turns into confusion]

Della:
Wait. Huey, Dewey, and Louie? No, no, no. Their names were supposed to be Jet, Turbo, and Rebel.

Dewey:
I could've been Turbo?!

Della:
I told Donald. I wrote it down in case no one could understand him.

Dewey:
I could've been TURBO?!?!

Scrooge:
What in Dismal Downs is going on in here?!

Gandra:
Did you drink more than one of the serum vials?

Beaks:
Yes! I told you, I was bored!

Beaks:
Bigger than Gizmoduck, it's Mega-Beaks! Oh, and you're all incredibly dead!

Launchpad:
That is not Darkwing Duck. D.W.'d never hurt innocent people or set the city on fire. Not on purpose.

Alistair:
But are we all not both the heroes and the villains of our own story?

Launchpad:
What? I don't-- What?

Drake Mallard:
Mr. Starling! We met at the signing. You fell on me, remember? It was a huge honor. Do you have any words of wisdom for the man to stepping into your cape?

Jim Starling:
It was all a setup. That hack put my fan in danger to steal the glory and humiliate me! They want grim and gritty, huh? Happy to play the part! [turns and reveals his outfit color changed into Negaduck’s]

Jones:
I found the source of his anger. Donald's anger issues stem from a fear that the world is out to get him and that no one understands him, quite literally. His tendency to lash out was wildly unfocused until you kids came along. He came to me wanting to be the best parent he could. So we channeled that anger into protective instincts. Every outburst is Donald wanting to protect his family. He loves you so much, the thought of anything bad happening to you infuriates him!

Louie:
I don't think you need a Gummeemama.

Mr. & Mrs. Drake:
Gummee--

Louie:
Knock it off. I think you need someone your own age to get close too. Happy Birthday, Doofus. I got you a new baby brother. [trashes the "Beaks" setting on B.O.Y.D. to active the "parents" setting] He's only a day old.

B.O.Y.D.:
Mommy? Daddy?

Mrs. Drake:
Come here, son. [she and Mr. Drake hug B.O.Y.D.]

Doofus:
[throwing a tantrum] No! No! You will obey me! I'll cut off your money!

B.O.Y.D.:
Don't worry, I'll transfer half of Gummeemama's money out of Doofus' account and into mine. After all, she was my Gummeemama too!

Doofus:
What?! No! She was my Gummeemama! Gummeemama. Mine. You sentimental toaster!

Mrs. Drake:
Don't you speak to your brother that way. You're grounded, indefinitely!

Doofus:
[gasps] He's not even my brother!

Mr. Drake:
I'm free.

Doofus:
[threateningly] I'll get you this, Llewellyn Duck!

Louie:
[yawns] Boy, this sure has been a friend-aversery thingy. You know who my best friend is?

Dewey:
Me.

Louie:
Sleep. Come on, even Beakley fell asleep, I think?

[Beakley is snoring with her eyes open]

Webby:
It's a spy thing. And yeah, it might be sleepy time.

Lena:
Sleep? N-No way! It's only 4:00 A.M.! That's so early!

Violet:
Judging from your sunken eyes, elevated heart rate and irritability--

Lena:
Your irritability!

Violet:
I'd say you're suffering from a serious lack of sleep.

Lena:
Uh, yeah! Because I've been planning so many exciting activities for this party! I'll be surprised if we ever sleep again. [yawns, then chuckles] I'm gonna go splash some cold water in my face so we can party even harder! Ha-ha! [runs off to the bathroom]

Kids:
[all exhausted] Yay.

Dewey:
This is Dewey High! ♪ I'm the most wholesome boy in school / I'm a talented jock, everyone thinks is cool / If TV and movies taught me anything / When you turn into a teen, you just have to sing! ♪

Huey:
Uh, what's that?

Dewey:
I think it's supposed to be my romantic interest? But I'm too threatened by that concept so it never takes shape.

Imaginary Romantic Interest:
Dewey. Let's sing a "dew-ette!"

Dewey:
[screams and runs away] Here are my singing rivals! They are so self-absorbed. Here's a giant poster of me! This is in all my dreams. I'm like cradled by a moon made of my own tears. Who knows what that's about?

Huey:
I have some theories.

Webby:
Come on, Dewey, none of us feel like dancing. Maybe we should move on to the next dream.

Huey:
Yeah, I just failed a class on something called, "Dewology." [An F-minus appears above him]

[The kids enters Louie's dream, where he's a lazy cat]

Webby:
Louie?

Louie:
Mmm, yes?

Huey:
This is your dream, to be even lazier?

Louie:
I nap all day, I never have to worry about anything, I'm shamelessly pampered.

[The kids enter Huey's dream, where he has really tall legs]

Dewey:
Who's dream is this anyway? It's just our room. It's so bor-- [screams in shock as he witnesses Huey's tall legs; dismayed] Why, Huey?! Why?! Why, Huey?! WHY-Y-Y-Y-Y?!!

Huey:
Whatever do you mean? Nothing strange here. Just a tall, distinguished, mature oldest sibling.

Dewey:
In what world does that description equal this?!

Huey:
[snapping] I'm not good at imagination stuff, OKAY?!

Louie:
Don't listen to him. Follow your lame dreams.

Huey:
Would you kids like a jar of pickles from the topmost shelf?

[The Duck nephews, Webby, and Violet enter Magica's castle and confront Lena (confusing her, who's been turned into a Magica doppelgänger)]

Webby:
Magica! What did you do with Lena?!

Lena:
[speaking in Magica's voice] No, no, I am Lena! I just look like Magica!

Webby:
Stop mocking me!

Lena:
Ugh, why does everything I say sound sarcastic?

Webby:
Because you're a monster!

Lena:
No! No! I'm not… a monster! [sprouts bat wings and turns into a bat creature]

Magica:
Ooh, ironic!

Lena:
Webby, help! [shoots out a fireball]

Webby:
[noticing the friendship bracelet on Lena's arm] Lena? I'm sorry. I didn't see. Of course, it's you. Is this what's been bothering you? That you might become Magica?

Lena:
[in her normal voice] I'm just… so tired of fighting it. I am her.

Webby:
No, you're not. We were trying to destroy you, and you still saved me.

Lena:
Yeah, of course I did. Of course, I would. She would never.

Magica:
What are you doing?! Don't listen to her. You are me!

Webby:
You're not her. You're you. You put so much pressure on yourself to be good. But you're good enough. [holds out her hand]

Magica:
Give me back my powers, you ungrateful brat!

[Lena and the others wake up, returning to reality]

Lena:
I'm awake! I'm me again! We did it!

Violet:
Wait, we should test to be certain that this isn't a dream.

Huey:
That's right. We might still be dreaming. [lifts up the sleeping bag sheets; annoyed] Ugh. It's fine. Fine, we're awake. It's fine. Whatever.

Scrooge:
I'm sure you learned... something.

Della:
No. Not this time.

Louie:
What? But I really am sorry! We hugged and everything!

Della:
I watched your brothers blink out of existence because you wanted a shortcut to riches!

Louie:
I said I was sorry!

Della:
You took off in that contraption without thinking about the consequences, or the people you would hurt!

Louie:
[annoyed] I wonder who I got that from.

[Everyone gasps]

Launchpad:
Oh...

Beakley:
See here, young man...

Della:
[holds up her hand, pausing her] Your little scheme to bypass the present almost cost us our future. This all stops now! You are grounded! No schemes, no treasures, and Louie Incorporated is done! Understand?

Louie:
Look, let me clean up, okay? Uncle Scrooge? Mrs. B? Come on!

Della:
To…your…room!

Louie:
[marches upstairs to his room, kicks the Time Tub; grumpily] Stupid perfect scheme.

[Louie is sulking in his room, still grounded after the recent events he caused from the previous episode]

Louie:
Okay, being grounded forever isn't so bad. I've got my phone, my phone is also a TV, which is nice. [turns on his phone, only seeing his mother on screen]

Della [onscreen] Hi, Louie! You're super grounded, so I blocked your phone signal and replaced all your videos with this lecture on ethics!

Louie:
Way ahead of you!

Louie:
You're heading to Big Rock Candy Mountain? Oh, I am going.

Della:
No, you are still grounded.

Louie:
What? No, WHAT?

Scrooge:
Err, come on kids, let's finish packing.

Louie:
Big Rock Candy Mountain is the laziest quest of all time! It's my dream.

Della:
Your last "dream" made you take treasure from the past, which almost destroyed time, space, and your family! Now, to your room! [escorts Louie back to his room] You can come out when you learned that no good ever came from cockamamie schemes!

Louie:
Flintheart Glomgold is a fake identity. So all your money, all your money, and all your money goes to your new partner, who is, hold on one sec, just let me check right here, oh right, me. Always read the fine print, trademark Louie Duck.

Glomgold:
What?! But that was my scheme! I got the family together! I was gonna steal their money from them after I won! I… [The other villains approach him in anger from behind; nervously] …can explain.

Magica:
Let me get this straight. You stole all of our fortunes and then lost it all to a child?!

Big Time Beagle:
[tearing up] I wish I never had a new pa! [runs away, sobbing]

Ma Beagle:
[strikes Glomgold with her handbag] You scarred him for life! [continues hitting him] That's my job!

Louie:
Mom, I know I messed up before, but, seeing all the angles is what I'm good at.

Della:
[picks up and hugs him] Okay, but you need to take care of not the ones you love, and I'll be here to help you see the angles you can't.

Della:
Donald?

Donald:
Della?

[Donald and Della walk to each face to face and scream angrily]

Donald & Della:
[in unison] WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!

Della:
If you were home when I got back, you'd know I was stuck on the moon which by the way, is invading us!

Donald:
I know! I warned you!

Della:
We didn't get a warning!

Dewey:
[breaks them up] Stop yelling at each other! [strangles Donald by the beard, shaking him back and forth] I could have been named Turbo! You owe me 11 years of Turbo!

Della:
[picks Dewey up] Don't change the subject! Just because I missed you doesn't mean I'm not mad at you!

Donald:
I missed you too, you big dummy!

Della:
Let's go face the unknown together. So, any ideas on how to get back or…?

Fethry:
[off-screen] Ahoy there! [riding on Mitzi, with Gladstone in tow]

Huey:
[gasps excitedly] Mitzi?

Della:
Cousin Gladstone?! Cousin Fethry?!

Fethry:
Della? Donald? Huey? Dewey? Green kid? Girl kid? Airplane? Palm tree? [Gladstone annoyingly shoves a watermelon in his mouth, getting him to stop talking] Mmm…

Gladstone:
Hey, fam! Want some melon? [after commercial break] …Luckily, my blimp was blown clear of the invasion and out to sea. That's where Fethry and the lovely Mitzi found me. And just as I was getting peckish, we saw these melons floating in the ocean which led us here. Crazy, huh? This is delicious! You want some, Donaldo?

Fethry:
You guys need a lift?

Bradford:
This has gone too far. The ducks almost cost us the world today. And without the world, who would we larceny against? The pieces are finally in place. Time to come out of the shadows, take control, and end Clan McDuck. If the McDuck family wants an adventure... we'll give them their last.