Girl Meets World, Season 1

Lucas Friar:
Hey, this isn't so different from Texas. Look, there's a pony.

Farkle Minkus:
That's a rat.

Riley Matthews:
Dad, you have a choice here. You can either understand that this is just a boy talking to me in the cafeteria...

Cory Matthews:
I'm gonna do whatever you say next.

Riley Matthews:
This is so innocent.

Cory Matthews:
Honey, fathers don't see anything as innocent. We see it as... what's the opposite of innocent?

Maya Hart:
[raising her hand] Right here!

Lucas Friar:
Sir, if I might take a different position?

Cory Matthews:
Yeah, save me, Mr. Friar, do I go too far?

Lucas Friar:
Always, sir.

[Riley is hoping that Lucas will say he likes her]

Lucas Friar:
Riley?

Riley Matthews:
Lucas?

Lucas Friar:
I've never told this to anybody before.

Riley Matthews:
Yeah?

Lucas Friar:
I think someday I might like to be a veterinarian.

Riley Matthews:
[disappointed] That's cool, too.

Auggie Matthews:
How's my breath? [breathes on Topanga]

Topanga Matthews:
Ooh. Like flowers. How'd you do that?

Auggie Matthews:
I ate your flowers.

Riley Matthews:
You know what the easiest thing about having friends is?

Lucas Friar:
What?

Riley Matthews:
Sometimes all you have to do is trust them.

Farkle Minkus:
School dance. I'm gonna put you both down for Dance Numbers one through all of them. We will alternate. You and me, me and you. When you're not dancing with me, you may not dance with anyone else. So you may sit and wait until you dance with me again.

Maya Hart:
Yeah, none of this is happening.

Farkle Minkus:
Well, may I have one dance with each of you?

Riley Matthews:
Sure.

Farkle Minkus:
Ha! That's all I wanted. You just got played by Farkle.

Topanga Matthews:
Wait, your dance is Friday?

Riley Matthews:
You're doing that thing with your voice.

Topanga Matthews:
But Friday is the last night of the Coney Island Cyclone.

Riley Matthews:
But it's our first dance! And Dad takes me to ride the rollercoaster a bunch of times, right?

Topanga Matthews:
Your father thinks of it as a tradition.

Riley Matthews:
How bad is this?

Topanga Matthews:
Your father thinks of it as the reason he wakes up in the morning.

Riley Matthews:
Maybe he won't remember it this year.

Cory Matthews:
[bursting through the door] Three days 'til Cyclone Day!

Topanga Matthews:
When is my birthday?

Cory Matthews:
148 days from Cyclone Day!

Topanga Matthews:
[to Riley] Good luck to you.

Riley Matthews:
Where did you get that locket?

Maya Hart:
France.

Riley Matthews:
You went to France?

Maya Hart:
Si, señor.

Lucas Friar:
Farkle, what are you doing? This is "Romeo and Juliet".

Farkle Minkus:
Well, now it's "Romeo and Juliet and Farkle". I play Farkle.

Auggie Matthews:
Weird Mommy's cool.

Cory Matthews:
Way cool.

Cory Matthews:
Ooh, seventh grade party. I didn't get invited to a lot of those.

Lucas Friar:
Your name is Farkle Minkus?

Farkle Minkus:
Don't wear it out.

Lucas Friar:
I don't know how you could.

Stuart Minkus:
So these are the two ladies you tell me keep chasing you, huh?

Farkle Minkus:
[whispering to Riley and Maya] Please?

Riley Matthews:
Yes, sir, it's us.

Maya Hart:
I'm not doing it. [Riley gives her a nudge; she sighs] Yes, sir, it is us. We hope that one day one of us will be lucky enough to become the future Mrs. Farkle Minkus and have a lot of baby Minkii.

Maya Hart:
[about Smackle] She was using you to make Farkle jealous.

Lucas Friar:
Wow. That's a new one.

Lucas Friar:
[opens a wrapped up package] "Get-out-of-detention-free."

Maya Hart:
Oh, I could use one of those! Give me that, and I won't call you Ranger Rick all week.

Lucas Friar:
Here you go.

Maya Hart:
Thanks, Ranger Roy.

Lucas Friar:
Let me guess. Ranger Roy is filling in for Ranger Rick?

Maya Hart:
All week.

Cory Matthews:
I'm talkin' about the 60's, man!

Riley Matthews:
Nobody cares about when you were our age.

Cory Matthews:
Riley, it was over fifty years ago. How old do you guys think I am?

Lucas Friar:
There's no right answer to this, sir.

Riley Matthews:
Whatcha lookin' at?

Maya Hart:
Art book. Miss Kossal gave it to me. It's got all the best artists and their best paintings. It's amazing... and depressing.

Farkle Minkus:
She's trying to motivate you.

Maya Hart:
Ain't workin'! Look at these. I could never do anything near this. These people have all got something to say.

Lucas Friar:
Well, you only know that because they went ahead and said it.

Maya Hart:
You know, someday you're gonna make somebody a wonderful fortune cookie.

Farkle Minkus:
All right, let's go out there and make some money! Cash, cabbage, cheddah-cheeze!

Cory Matthews:
Those are your values, Farkle?

Farkle Minkus:
What else should a company value but profits?

Lucas Friar:
Well, if I had a company, I'd treat my employees well and make sure we did right by our customers.

Farkle Minkus:
You are everything that's wrong with this country.

Farkle Minkus:
Enjoy the taste of success, Riley. It's sweet.

Riley Matthews:
Not to me. I have a very bitter taste in my mouth.

Maya Hart:
You must have eaten one of ours.

Cory Matthews:
You wanna spend the rest of your life scared?

Farkle Minkus:
I was planning on it, sir.

Farkle Minkus:
Why are you screaming? You scared us.

Maya Hart:
What are you guys doing here?

Lucas Friar:
We were passing by on our way home. We thought we'd say hi.

Riley Matthews:
In the middle of the night?

Lucas Friar:
It's a quarter after seven.

Riley Matthews:
Then why'd you have me go to sleep, Maya?

Maya Hart:
Trying to put myself out of my misery.

Riley Matthews:
Why didn't you wake me? It's electives day. The earlier we sign up, the better the chance we have of getting all the good ones.

Topanga Matthews:
I tried to wake you up three times.

Riley Matthews:
You know I don't think you're serious until six times.

Cory Matthews:
You know, it's a funny thing about teachers. People don't often realize that without the lesson, without the education, no one will learn anything at all. There would be no gruff, no progress, there would be no doctors, or lawyers, or anything at all, really. In fact, when you think about it, teachers are the foundation of the whole country. Our whole world! Teachers should be appreciated, and never forgotten. (looks up to find everyone has left except Harley)

Harvey "Harley" Keiner:
I appreciate you, Baboon. Now get out of here so I can go home.

Cory Matthews:
Gandhi. What'd he do?

Maya Hart:
Freed Ireland.

Cory Matthews:
Try again.

Maya Hart:
Freed Ireland.

Cory Matthews:
Freed India.

Maya Hart:
Before or after he freed Ireland?

Harvey 'Harley' Keiner:
Give me your lunch money!

Cory Matthews:
I'm a teacher. I don't have any.

Maya Hart:
I will never get to you, will I?

Lucas Friar:
No. But I sure do appreciate the effort.

Lucas Friar:
Thank you for the video. That wasn't what I expected to see.

Riley Matthews:
No more going home for the weekends?

Lucas Friar:
[pause] I am home.

Riley Matthews:
Well, another year we're not going to be cheerleaders.

Maya Hart:
Why do you make me do these things? Pom-poms are stupid and pyramids made of humans freak me out. [pointing to her legs] And what are these?

Riley Matthews:
These are your legs.

Maya Hart:
Have you ever seen anything so white?

Riley Matthews:
One time, when I looked into the sun.

Topanga Matthews:
Okay, look, Riley, your father and I gave you a 7:00 curfew because we knew that even when you got all rebellious you'd still be home by 7:30.

Maya Hart:
What?

Riley Matthews:
[embarrassed] Yeah.

Topanga Matthews:
So when you come in here at 7:07 acting all dangerous, it's hard... [cracks up] I'm sorry. I can't even keep a straight face.

Riley Matthews:
What are you laughing at? I'm outta control!

Cory Matthews:
Maya, you couldn't keep her out any later than that? I mean, what kind of bad influence are you?

Maya Hart:
You're right. I gotta up my game.

Shawn Hunter:
Hey, Mrs. Cory.

Topanga Matthews:
Hey, Mr. Cory.

Shawn Hunter:
Cor, this is real life, not a TV show. I'm not your wacky neighbor.

Cory Matthews:
But, you could be!

[Riley has abandoned her family's game night to hang out with her friends]

Cory Matthews:
See this? "The Family Game. The game for families." Not "The Friends Game. A game for friends." I saw that game. I didn't buy that game. I bought this one. Because I used to have a family.

Topanga Matthews:
Will you stop?

Cory Matthews:
How could she choose her friends over us? I mean, did they burp her? Did they change her diapers?

Farkle Minkus:
We haven't yet, but we will when she's old.

Cory Matthews:
Oh, Farkle! Where'd you get the cannon?

Farkle Minkus:
From my cannon guy.

Topanga Matthews:
Honey, hide the cake before Maya gets here.

Cory Matthews:
I know, but you know what we should do? We should bring this cake to Maya's mother just in case she forgot to get her own kid a cake.

Topanga Matthews:
Oh, you think that could actually happen?

Cory Matthews:
Honey, I grew up with Shawn Hunter. Remember his mother? She forgot where she lived.

Topanga Matthews:
Wait a minute, who let you in?

Shawn Hunter:
I have a key.

Topanga Matthews:
[to Cory] You gave him a key?

Cory Matthews:
[to Topanga] Fine, I'll give you a key.

Riley Matthews:
"Hi, I'm Riley Matthews, and these are your John Quincy Adams middle school morning announcements."

Cory Matthews:
Why are you even rehearsing?

Riley Matthews:
I'm going to get it perfect this time.

Cory Matthews:
And you're on.

Riley Matthews:
"Hewo, I'm Miley Flatshoes and these are your flurning amousenits. Today's lunch in the cafamatorium will be hot males."

Cory Matthews:
"Hot tamales", I'm hoping.

Topanga Matthews:
Judy, I'm so glad you were able to join our little book club. Auggie is such a fan of your daughter Ava.

Judy Morgenstern:
Oh well, who isn't? And I must say, what a surprisingly decent idea, Topanga. I think a book club is such a wonderful forum to exchange ideas and intellectual conversation.

Topanga Matthews:
Judy, are you British?

Judy Morgenstern:
No, I'm just better than everyone else.

Riley Matthews:
Do you remember your first date with Dad?

Topanga Matthews:
Aw. We were two years old, we played in the playground. No, we were eight, and we caught fireflies. No, we were in sixth grade and we kissed against the lockers. No, we threw socks into a laundry basket. No, we fell into a llama pen at the zoo. No... that was his first date with Shawn.

Riley Matthews:
So you're feeling better about my Uncle Josh?

Maya Hart:
No, that's just another lump of coal I'll bury deep in my dungeon of sadness, next to my daddy issues and ballerina dreams.

Topanga Matthews:
Maya, I didn't know that you dreamed of being a ballerina.

Maya Hart:
I don't. I dream of ballerinas kicking me with their point toes while they're stabbing me in the face with their bun heads.

Topanga Matthews:
Oh. Well, you look great.

Riley Matthews:
You got any money?

Maya Hart:
I never have any money.

Riley Matthews:
How do we make money immediately?

Maya Hart:
What we need is a Bat Mitzvah!

Riley Matthews:
Are there any special requirements?

Maya Hart:
Yeah, and I'm thinking it's gonna need to be you.

Topanga Matthews:
Get out! You guys have been sitting in that window all day. You know what's great about a window? There's a world outside. Go there.

Maya Hart:
(looks out the window) It looks fakey.

Topanga Matthews:
Get out of my house!

Riley Matthews:
Why don't I get a Bat Mitzvah?

Topanga Matthews:
What's your Hebrew name?

Riley Matthews:
Riley Matthews.

Topanga Matthews:
There you go. What do you want a Bat Mitzvah for?

Riley Matthews:
There comes a time in a young woman's life when she just wants to sit in a room and open envelopes.

Topanga Matthews:
Riley, do you even know what this holy rite of passage is about?

Riley Matthews:
Yes. This holy rite of passage is about 12 hours before you open the envelopes.

Topanga Matthews:
What do you need money for?

Riley Matthews:
Buy stuff.

Topanga Matthews:
Specifically

Riley Matthews:
Buy stuff for me-e-e-e.

Topanga Matthews:
Money needs to be worked for. It's pretty hard to come up with a scheme when all you've got is the clothes on your back, isn't it?

Maya Hart and Riley Matthews:
(Looks at each other and nods)

Maya Hart:
We've lost.

Riley Matthews:
She beat us.

Maya Hart:
We got crushed.

Riley Matthews:
I don't like it very much.

Maya Hart:
Have I let you down?

Riley Matthews:
No, Peaches. How could you ever let me down?

Maya Hart:
What kind of bad influence am I on you if I let another bad influence be a better bad influence than me in your eyes?

Riley Matthews:
Hey. I will never have a better worse influence than you.

Maya Hart:
Thanks. You will always be my favorite chump.

Riley Matthews:
Thanks. Would I still be your favorite even if I wasn't a chump?

Maya Hart:
You will always be my favorite, no matter what you are.

Riley Matthews:
Okay, good. Because I may have to not be a chump for a minute.

Maya Hart:
But then you will again?

Riley Matthews:
I know you secretly like it.

Maya Hart:
I do.

Riley Matthews:
It’s Maya’s first time here and I NEED the holiday to go good for her. Cory Matthews: Well, I need the holiday to go good for you mother! Topanga Matthews: Liar!