Haven, Season 2

Agent Howard:
Audrey Parker.

Audrey:
Agent Howard.

Agent Howard:
How's local cop life treating you?

Audrey:
You know, cats in trees. Like that.

Audrey Parker (new):
So you think I caused the frogs and the bugs. What are you thinkin', did I use my magic wand or maybe my tricorder?

Audrey:
First of all, a tricorder is just for reading.

Audrey:
Is Duke here?

Nathan:
Too many cops in one room.

Duke:
You know, my experience... when people are scared, they either run or they fight. I'd start planning for both.

Evi Ryan:
Look at you. Getting all domestic.

Duke:
Yeah, well, you know, I, uh, learned it living with you.

Evi Ryan:
I cleaned. (Duke looks skeptical) Well, I cooked. (Duke looks skeptical) I was fun.

Duke:
Yeah. You were fun.

Nathan:
A boy grows up in Haven, he plays baseball for the Sea Dogs or the Cutters. Everybody picks a side. Been a tradition for 50 years. Blue or Red.

Duke:
Tell me you have a plan.

Audrey:
Why would I need a plan? I've got you.

Duke:
That's true.

Nathan:
So now you need someone from each side to make the Trouble happen?

Dave:
Like epoxy.

Vince:
Or peanut butter cups.

Nathan:
So you've lived this day before?

Audrey:
Yeah.

Nathan:
You're stuck in my second-favorite Bill Murray movie.

Nathan:
You're stuck in my second-

Audrey:
Second-favorite Bill Murray movie. See? We had this conversation.

Nathan:
And Duke died?

Audrey:
Yeah.

Nathan:
Would have been something to see. [Audrey flicks him on the head] Ow!

Audrey:
You know what? You were there, and you were pretty upset about it.

Nathan:
[dying] This is kind of strange.

Audrey:
I'm not going to let you die, okay? Do you understand me? Stop it. Do you understand me? I'm going to fix this.

Nathan:
It doesn't hurt. The only thing I feel is you.

Duke:
Love that Chris. What a guy. [Nathan smiles] What?

Nathan:
Chris is troubled. You don't look at him, you don't get all man-crush.

Duke:
[scoffs] No way. [looks at Nathan] Oh! Wow. Now you tell me?!

Nathan:
Hey, no judgements. He's a handsome guy.

Duke:
Body washed up on the beach today. Guy with a tattoo.

Evi:
Really, did it say "I Heart Haven"?

Audrey:
Okay, so who'd you piss off this time?

Duke:
Maybe he pissed me off. Is that a possibility?

Audrey:
Yeah, it's least likely.

Duke:
Well, I guess that answers that. Nathan definitely has a copy.

Audrey:
Yeah.

Duke:
Yeah.

Audrey:
And this one still can't dance.

Nathan:
You meet me in the atrium.

Audrey:
Copy that.

Nathan:
Don't say "copy."

Dr. Underwood:
Hi. I'm Hugh Underwood. I'm a doctor.

Chris:
Yeah, Chris Brody. I'd shake your hand, but I'm pretty much dying.

Nathan:
I hear a squirrel.

Audrey:
We are in the woods, Nathan.

Nathan:
Two squirrels chattering means they're having a conversation. This is just one. It means he's scared of something large.

Audrey:
Boy Scouts?

Nathan:
Moose Hunter magazine. [Audrey stares] I was a kid.

Duke:
You know, we don't talk enough, me and you.

Dwight:
This doesn't have to get ugly. I walk out of here, it's over.

Duke:
Great. If you don't mind, you can just leave the box in the umbrella stand on your way out.

Dwight:
Give me the key.

Duke:
Do I actually have to say "no" to that, or can I just assume it's a rhetorical statement?

Simon Crocker:
You're taking this well.

Duke:
Yes I am. You see, I'm pretty sure that you're the result of the brownies this girl gave me last night. God, what was her name? Tall, Dutch girl...

Simon Crocker:
You're not imagining this.

Duke:
Says the dead guy I last saw 27 years ago.

Audrey:
So what do you think? Clones? Ghosts? Zombies are trendy.

Chief Wournos:
You buried me in a cooler? What cooler?

Nathan:
Blue one.

Chief Wournos:
What a waste of a good cooler.

Duke:
 :Merry Christmas. You know, I'm flexible this year naughty or nice.

Audrey:
Duke you know, our friend? he's got a mustache, a goatee, he wears a lot of jewelry, makes all these jokes, only looks out for himself.

Nathan:
I'm friends with that guy?