Mad Men, Season Two

Doctor:
So, Mr. Draper, you haven't had a physical in quite some time.

Don:
Yeah. I eat a lot of apples.

Sarah Beth:
[about Arthur] We talk about you, and how Gertie has a crush on you.

Betty:
She's a sadist. I'll see you Saturday?

[Betty gets into the car in her dirty riding boots.]

Sarah Beth:
Don't you hate getting manure in that?

Betty:
Little children. What's the difference?

Don:
[on being told to hire young people] So what am I supposed to do, dangle a Pepsi out the window and see if I can hook a stroller?

Don:
I'm gonna ask you a question that was always asked of me when I was on job interviews.

Smitty:
That is divine, man.

Don:
Have you ever been fired?

Peggy:
Sex sells.

Don:
Says who? Just so you know, the people who talk that way think that monkeys can do this. They take all this monkey crap and stick it in a briefcase, completely unaware that their success depends on something more than shoeshine. You are the product. You feeling something. That's what sells. Not them. Not sex. They can't do what we do and they hate us for it.

Eugene:
Hey Brooklyn, come home with me!

Peggy:
Nuh-uh.

Eugene:
Why not? I live alone.

Peggy:
Why should I?

Eugene:
Because I like you and we're having a good time and I'm a good kisser and you know you want to.

Peggy:
Eugene, I'm in the persuasion business, and frankly I'm disappointed by your presentation.

Sally Draper:
[sitting in front of Joan, coloring] You've got big ones. My mommy has big ones. When I grow up, I'm gonna have big ones too.

Don:
[on why he won't punish his son with violence] He's a little kid. My father beat the hell out of me, and all it did was make me fantasize about the day I could murder him. And I wasn't half as good as Bobby.

Bobbie Barrett:
[to Peggy] This is America; pick a job and become the person who does it.

[Peggy in the hospital]

Don:
What's wrong with you?

Peggy:
I don't know.

Don:
What do they want you to do?

Peggy:
I don't know.

Don:
Yes you do. Do it. Do whatever they say. [leans in and whispers] Peggy, listen to me, get out of here and move forward. This never happened. It will shock you how much it never happened.

Peggy:
[to Don] You'll have to believe me that I'll forget this. I don't want you treating me badly because I remind you of it.

Bobbie Barrett:
[to Peggy] You're never gonna get that corner office until you start treating Don as an equal. And no one will tell you this, but you can't be a man. Don't even try. Be a woman. Powerful business when done correctly. Do you understand what I'm saying, dear?

Pete:
[to his wife, regarding their fertility issues] Either you make it through this thing or you keep it to yourself.

Joan:
[to Peggy] You want to be taken seriously? Stop dressing like a little girl.

Jimmy Barrett:
The drunker you are, the funnier I become. ABC did research.

Peggy:
A Night to Remember is every girl's dream. It holds the wholesome promise of the kind of hand holding that eventually leads to marriage.

Joan:
[to Roger] One day you'll lose someone who's important to you. You'll see. It's very painful.

[Seeing people in the pool causes Pete to want to go swimming]

Pete:
Come on.

Don:
You wanna be on vacation, Pete? 'Cause I can make that happen.

Don:
I have been watching my life. It's right there. I keep scratching at it, trying to get into it. I can't.

Don/Dick Whitman:
[holding out Meditations in an Emergency] Did you read it?

Anna Draper:
I did. It reminded me of New York. And it made me worry about you.

Don/Dick Whitman:
What about the cards? Should I be worried?

Anna Draper:
It's all here. You're definitely in a strange place. But here's the Sun.

Don/Dick Whitman:
[points to Judgement card] : That can't be good.

Anna Draper:
It is.

Don/Dick Whitman:
It's the end of the world.

Anna Draper:
It's the resurrection. Do you want to know what this means, or not?

Don/Dick Whitman:
No, I don't. I can smell the ocean.

Anna Draper:
[points to the World card] This is the one.

Don/Dick Whitman:
Who's she?

Anna Draper:
Shes the soul of the world. She's in a very important spot here. This is you; what you are bringing to the reading. She says you are part of the world. Air, water, every living thing is connected to you.

Don/Dick Whitman:
It's a nice thought.

Anna Draper:
It is.

Don/Dick Whitman:
What does it mean?

Anna Draper:
It means the only thing keeping you from being happy is the belief that you are alone.

Don/Dick Whitman:
What if it's true?

Anna Draper:
Then you can change.

Don/Dick Whitman:
People don't change.

Anna Draper:
I think she stands for wisdom. Once you live, you learn things.

Betty:
There's a difference between wanting and having.

Peggy:
Pete, just tell the truth, don't worry about the outcome. People respect that.

Betty:
Where have you been? You disappeared.

Don:
I had to have some time to think about things.

Betty:
Must be nice. Needing time and just taking it, all on your own terms, not wondering what anybody thinks. Me, the children.

Don:
Bets, I'd do anything I could to undo what happened.

Betty:
What happened?

Don:
I was not respectful to you.

Betty:
Well, now I know I'm not crazy, that helps.

Don:
I can't walk away from this, I want to be with you, I want to be together again.

Betty:
[shakes head] I don't know. Honestly, things haven't been that different without you.

Father Gill:
Peggy, sometimes I feel He called me to this parish to reach you.

Peggy:
No, I didn't know that.

Father Gill:
Well it's true. Hell is serious and very real and unless you unburden yourself you cannot know peace.

Peggy:
I understand that, Father, but you're upsetting me right now.

Father Gill:
That is your guilt, Peggy. All that God wants is for you to reconcile with him. Don't, don't you understand that this could be the end of the world and you could go to Hell?

Peggy:
I can't believe that's the way God is. Good night, Father.

Pete:
This is ridiculous. If I'm going to die, I want to die in Manhattan.

Peggy:
Well, one day you're there and then all of a sudden there's less of you. And you wonder where that part went, if it's living somewhere outside of you, and you keep thinking maybe you'll get it back. And then you realize, it's just gone.