Six Feet Under, Season 5

Nate:
[To Brenda, while talking about their wedding.]I'm glad today sucked, because I wouldn't want the happiest day of our life to be over already, would you?

David:
[to Keith about their appointment with the adoption agency] If we're not on top of our paperwork, Shirley is going to kick our "Gay Daddy" asses into the street.

[Claire walks in on Ruth cleaning the kitchen in the Fisher home.]

Claire:
Jesus Christ, Mom, will you stop cleaning and talk to me?

Ruth:
No. This isn't the time, and there's nothing to say.

Claire:
Don't you think that it's significant that whenever I make a decision for myself, you hate me?

Ruth:
I don't hate you, I hate your choices.

Claire:
Look at me! I am an adult, and my choices are none of your business! You had no right to call that lawyer! Dad loved me. He wanted me to be happy. That's why he left me the money.

Ruth:
He did not intend to finance you while you play house with a crazy person!

Claire:
Look who's talking!

Ruth:
He wanted you to be educated, to learn, to go to college!

Claire:
I am learning from life! You don't even know what college is. You never went and that was your choice and now you hate yourself for it, so you're gonna take it out on me!

Ruth:
That is not true!

Claire:
Then stop being such a controlling bitch and give me my money! [Ruth raises her hand to slap Claire.] I will hit you back this time! Billy and I are moving to Spain, and you can't stop us!

Ruth:
Get out of my house!

[Claire grabs her belongings and leaves.]

Keith:
[to David] You are such a mom! [They laugh.]

[Claire calls the family lawyer after learning that Ruth froze her trust fund.]

Claire:
So then I called the bank and they said that there had been no money deposited. Can you fix this, please? I have to get a new camera.

Lawyer:
Claire, you're not enrolled in college this quarter.

Claire:
Who told you that?

Lawyer:
Your mother. You should've told me yourself.

Claire:
I'm taking some time off. So what?

Lawyer:
So you can't access the funds. I'm sorry.

Claire:
I beg your pardon. That is my money. My father gave it to me!

Lawyer:
He set up a trust to pay for your education, not to support your lifestyle outside of the classroom.

Claire:
It is not my lifestyle! It is my life, and I am learning more now than I ever did in that pretentious art barn!

Lawyer:
You know you don't inherit free and clear until you're twenty-five. The language is very specific.

Claire:
This is just like bureaucratic bullshit, and how am I supposed to move to Europe and f***ing ripen when you won't even give me my money?

Lawyer:
Your mother and I discussed this. We feel that it is in your best interest.

Claire:
You don't even know me!

Nate:
[as imagined by Brenda during a family dinner] Quit trying to be some f***ing hausfrau, all right? You're a rebel. You're a freak. We're never gonna be a real family no matter what you sauté!

Nate:
I just feel like all I do, all day long, is just manage myself, try to f***in' connect with people. But it's like, no matter how much energy you pour into getting to the station on time, or getting on the right train, there's still no f***in' guarantee that anybody's gonna be there for you to pick you up when you get there.

[Nate is looking through a photo album on his 40th birthday.]

Nathaniel Sr.:
The day I turned 40, you were in Europe. I spent the whole day wondering if you'd call.

Nate:
Sorry.

Nathaniel Sr.:
Oh, don't apologize. You did what you had to do, you little f***er.

Nate:
You know, so much crazy shit has happened since these pictures were taken. So much. The idea of 40 more years-

Nathaniel Sr.:
The next 40 fly by much faster. It'll be over before you know it.

Nate:
Time flies when you're having fun, huh?

Nathaniel Sr.:
No, time flies when you're pretending to have fun. Time flies when you're pretending to love Brenda and that baby she wants so much. Time flies when you're pretending to know what people mean when they say "love". Face it, buddy boy, there's two kinds of people in the world: there's you, and there's everybody else, and never the twain shall meet.

[Billy is behaving weirdly at Nate's birthday party.]

Claire:
Did you stop taking your medication?

Billy:
Yeah! But that's a good thing.

Claire:
Why?

Billy:
Because, Claire... okay, I'm sick of feeling like I am living every moment inside a giant Xeroxed f***ing cotton ball.

[Billy and George are talking on the porch. Billy is sneaking a beer.]

George:
So, you stopped taking them? Just like that?

Billy:
Yep.

George:
How do you feel?

Billy:
I feel a little tingly. That's about it. What do they got you on these days?

George:
Well, they just switched me from Lithium to Tophranil.

Billy:
Oh.

George:
In between the shock treatments.

Billy:
What are those like?

George:
Honestly, I don't know. I go in. They put me on a bed. They give me some oxygen. They say "You're going to feel a little prick in your hand." That always makes me laugh. And then the next thing I know, I wake up with the worst headache I've had in my life.

Billy:
You think it's helping?

George:
I think that, as Émile Coué used to say, "Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better." But not everyone agrees.

Billy:
Yeah. It's hard to get your shit together with someone watching all the time.

George:
Hm, yeah, it is. But when no one is watching, then where are you? Where the f*** are you then?

George:
Nobody grows up thinking this is the way they're gonna turn out to be. If I could change just by snapping my fingers, I'd do it.

Ruth:
I know you would, George.

George:
I am trying so hard to get better.

Ruth:
And you are.

George:
But not fast enough for you!

Ruth:
You're getting better as fast as you can. I know that.

George:
I am so lucky. I hate that I'm the lucky one. No one's ever lucky to have me. Nobody's ever been lucky to have me.

David:
I thought he was special, not retarded special.

Vanessa Diaz:
You know, lately, I was thinking there was a chance that maybe we could get back together. Boy, do I need my f***ing head examined … I can't believe I married a f***ing embalmer.

Keith:
Look at us. You know what we look like?

David:
Homos? [They laugh.]

Nate:
[to Brenda] What am I supposed to tell her? That her real mommy got pregnant and made me trapped into marrying her while she was f***ing her brother-in-law, and then he murdered her because she tried to break it off, and that he might even be her real dad? I just want to spare her that, but I don't have to spare me that.

Marianne:
What's the matter, Claire? Is it Kirsten? Is she being a butt?

Claire:
Oh no, it's not that, it's just these pantyhose.

Marianne:
Oh. Do you have a run? 'Cause I have a little clear polish you can put on it …

Claire:
No, no, it's not that. It's just they're squeezing against my entire torso and I feel like I can't even breathe. I mean, none of this work would even seem that hard if I didn't feel like I was sitting in a torture chamber all day.

Marianne:
Maybe you should try a different brand. Mine energize me.

Claire:
No, it's not the brand. I mean, they're all the same, it's … I mean, I don't understand how having your legs sheathed in this, like, smooth plastic Barbie leg, like, encased in a sausage casing would help you do your job better. I mean, doesn't it seem sexist that it's a regulation only for women?

Marianne:
Men have to wear ties.

Claire:
Right, but they don't suffocate you … and it's not on their penis.

Marianne:
I'm gonna go wash out some mugs.

Sarah:
[to Ruth] You say there's a reason that Grandma lost her legs and there's a reason there's war and tsunamis and there's a reason that George f***ing Bush got reelected?

Nate:
Love isn't something you feel, it's something you do. If the person you're with doesn't want it, do yourself a favor and save it for someone who does.

Claire:
[singing] Adrift on the water/could it be actually/wearing these clothes/I've never been/this f***ing uncomfortable/Never again to wear pantyhose.../'Cause you ride up my thighs/You're tight on my ass/You climb up my crotch/You ruin my day/And fill my soul/You fill my soul with hate/It can't be right/when they feel so tight.../'Cause you and you and you/all of you...

Marianne:
Claire?

Claire:
[singing] Ride up my thighs.

Marianne:
Claire? Is my music too loud? Do you need me to turn it down?

Claire:
Oh, yeah, maybe a little. Thanks.

Ruth:
Just leave me alone so I can shrivel up in peace.

Margaret:
[to Brenda] All couples have these types of disagreements. You think I didn't want to abort you and Billy?

Maggie Sibley:
What's wrong?

Nate:
[breathing heavily] My arm is numb … [slurs] Numb arm … numb arm … narm! … Narm!

George:
It's perfectly normal to live in a bombshelter!

Ruth:
[to Hiram] Oh, go give yourself a handjob!

Nate:
[to Rico] Ecotone. It's the area where two ecological worlds overlap. You know, like wilderness and civilization.

Brenda:
[to Maggie] What is this, some Quaker thing? You f*** someone's husband to death, then you bring them a quiche?

David:
You could've dressed.

Claire:
I couldn't.

David:
The rest of us managed.

Claire:
The rest of you win.

Rico:
I think we're all in shock. Three years ago we prayed for Nate's life, and we thought our prayers were answered. Now we have to pray for help making sense of this loss. Because … we've lost a lot. A son, a father, a brother, a husband, a colleague … to me, an inspiration. He had a natural sense. He had a natural sense of what to say to people when they were grieving. And I just think he'd know what to say to help us if only he were here.

David:
I'm David Fisher, and Nate was my big brother. When we were kids, I used to get picked on at school. I'd come home with my face or my pride bruised, and Nate would make me tell him who did it, and he'd go talk to whoever was tormenting me, and I'd be fine … until it happened again. So Nate came up with another strategy. He said, "When they start in on you, just laugh, laugh at them. Even if they hit you, laugh." Well, I could never pull that off. But that was Nate. He could laugh at anything, and people were always drawn to him because he could make the best of the worst situation. Even when life hit him, it couldn't ki- [chokes]

George:
This is a hard day, and we're all very upset. The loss of a young person is always a terrible blow. But in this case, it's even more cruel because Nate was an idealist, and he struggled, all through his life, to be a good man. He wasn't perfect; but then, who among us is? And he never gave up on himself, the people he loved, or even love itself, in all its vexing, beautiful forms.

Nate:
[as imagined by Brenda] I'm just saying you only get one life. There's no God, no rules, no judgments, except for those you accept or create for yourself. And once it's over, it's over. Dreamless sleep forever and ever. So why not be happy while you're here. Really. Why not?

David:
I have a f***ing husband, Rico, and I have two children! When are you going to realize that I'm a human being just like you? When? When?

Claire:
Dozens of f***ing Iraqis are still dying every day, the whole world hates us for going in there in the first place, and terrorists are still gonna be blowing shit up in this country for the next hundred years! And the best thing she could think of to do about it is put that sticker on that enormous shitbox!

David:
[to Ted] Take her inside!

Rico:
[to Mrs. Duncan while ushering her to the SUV away from Claire] There has been a death in the family recently. I am so, so sorry.

Claire:
[running up to Mrs. Duncan's daughter] You know, they still bring the wounded soldiers back at night, so the press can't even film it and nobody sees. American soldiers are still getting f***ed up every day, and they don't even tell us. [Mrs. Duncan's daughter runs in the car to get away.] So it's all so you could put gas in this enormous f***ing car of yours to keep everybody feeling really f***ing American! Such a bunch of shit!

Rico:
Claire, shut the hell up! Her brother just died, damn it!

Claire:
[quietly] I'm sorry.

[David is putting stitches on the corpse of Paul Duncan, a triple amputee Iraq war vet, in the embalming room.]

Paul Duncan:
You're gonna die, David. Just like Nate, just like your dad, just like everybody.

David:
I am aware of the reality of death. I work with it every day.

Paul Duncan:
You're scared. You're more scared now than you've ever been in your life. You thought you knew what fear was when Jake poured gas all over your head, but this? This simple, unavoidable fact that you're alive and alone and you'll be dead, gone.

David Stop it.

Paul Duncan:
You'll never see Keith after that, you'll never see your boys.

David:
Shut up!

Claire:
Why did you have to die? It really sucks. Everything's unraveling since you're gone.

Nate:
That's not true.

Claire:
It feels that way. I miss you. I miss you so f***ing much!

Nate:
I miss you, too.

Claire:
You know how I always used to tell you you weren't Dad, after Dad died? It was such a waste of time thinking that way.

Nate:
No, it's just part of how you dealt with it. It kept you from missing Dad so much.

Claire:
No, it kept me from ever knowing you as much as I really could have, and now you are so completely f***ing gone! It's just …

Nate:
Claire -

Claire:
What? It sucks!

Nate:
Stop listening to the static.

Claire:
What the f*** does that mean?

Nate:
Nothing. It just means that everything in the world is like this transmission, making its way across the dark. But everything - death, life, everything - it's all completely suffused with static. [makes static sounds] You know? But if you listen to the static too much, it f***s you up.

Claire:
Are you high?

Nate:
I am actually, yeah, quite high.

David:
We've been clutching so desperately to the past, and for what?

Ruth:
Because that's when there was hope.

Margaret:
Ruth, it isn't the '50s any more. No matter how you dress.

Ruth:
I don't think i can move in with you, George.

George:
Why not?

Ruth:
Because... don't get me wrong, you're a good, decent man with a big heart. But there are walls around that heart, walls behind walls behind walls... and i can spend a certain amount of time around that, but i can not live with it, not anymore. Oh, don't look so sour, it doesn't mean i won't go out with you. We'll have more fun this way, believe me, i could use some fun.

Man:
Claire? Hi, this is Gavin at New Image. And I hate to be the one to tell you this, but New Image has been bought by stock options and they're consolidating their operations, and … well, they're in Chicago, so I hope you haven't headed out here yet. Sorry.

Nate:
Aw, who cares? Go anyway.

Claire:
What, are you crazy? I'm gonna move to New York City without a job?

Nate:
Mom gave you the money. You're gonna land somewhere. You'll be fine. You're talented, you're smart. You're ready.

Claire:
What if I'm not?

Nate:
Claire, you want to know a secret? I spent my whole life being scared. Scared of not being ready, of not being right of not being who I should be. And where did it get me?

Claire:
What should I tell everyone tonight?

Nate:
Nothing! You can't stay here!

Claire:
What, do you mean seriously?

Claire:
Mom.

Ruth:
My sweet baby girl … don't let them work you too hard at your new job.

Claire:
I won't. Mom, I really hope you can come and visit.

Ruth:
I'll try. Oh, Claire. I pray you'll be filled with hope for as long as you possibly can.

Claire:
Thank you for everything and thank you for giving me life.

Ruth:
You gave me life.

Claire:
Oh, my God, I don't wanna go.

Claire:
Oh, I wanna take a picture of everyone.

Nate:
You can't take a picture of this. It's already gone.

Claire:
"Light from a cake is such a great light. We should just live in cakelight" (when they bring in the birthdaycake on Nate's 40st. birthday).