The Berenstain Bears, Season 2

Sister Bear:
What are you going to take out at the library today?

Brother Bear:
Same thing I took out last time.

Sister Bear:
I heard it! It went... [cowardly moaning like a ghost] ...ooooohhh, oooooohhhh, oooohhh!

Mama Bear:
Do you know anything about this, young fella?

Brother Bear:
It's like Papa said. She just let her imagination run away with her.

Papa Bear:
Uh-huh. [puts Sister Bear back in the top bed] Well, let's just put it this way. [angrily looking down at Brother] If there is anymore "ooh ooh ooh", it's going to be followed by a little "ow, ow, ow!"

[During the night, Sister's fear of the dark causes disruption as the cubs' bedroom light keeps getting switched on and off...]

Sister Bear:
Help!

[The lights go on]

Brother Bear:
Can't sleep.

[The lights go off]

Sister Bear:
Help!

[The lights go on again]

Brother Bear:
Can't sleep.

[The lights go off again]

Sister Bear:
Help!

[The lights go on yet again]

Brother Bear:
Can't sleep!

[The lights go off yet again]

Sister Bear:
Help!

[The lights go on]

Brother Bear:
Can't sleep...

[Brother and Sister Bear started with name-calling]

Sister Bear:
Hey! Come on, fuzz brain! Didn't you hear Mama?!

Brother Bear:
I heard her! Stop being such a noodlepuss!

Sister Bear:
You silly head!

Brother Bear:
Lay off, little mini!

[In the dining room, Brother and Sister are tugging over one honey jar]

Brother Bear:
Gimme that!

Sister Bear:
I had it...first!

Brother Bear:
Stop grabbing!

Mama Bear:
[enters the dining room and sees Brother and Sister fighting over a honey jar] For goodness sake! Where are your manners?! There's plenty of honey for everyone.

Papa Bear:
[interrupts] Your Mama, she is absolutely right!

Mama Bear:
Thanks for your comment, Papa. But interrupting is number 6 on the rude chart. And the penalty is dusting the room.

Papa Bear:
But...!

Mama Bear:
You did not say, "Thank you for the duster". I am afraid that means after you are finished dusting, you have to sweep the front steps (and that is number 1). [leaves the living room]

[Papa starts dusting the table with a feather duster]

Sister Bear:
[reading the chart] Rude noises, what does that mean?

Papa Bear:
Oh you know, [blows raspberry]

Mama Bear:
Penalty number 7...!

Papa Bear:
[names the penalty for the 7th rule; as shown on the "Bear Family Politeness Plan" rule list] Weed the garden!?

[Later, Papa dusts the downstairs, sweeps the front steps, pull the weeds from the garden. This was penalties 6, 1, and 7. He was caught interrupting, forgot a "Please" and a "Thank You", and made rude noises. And indeed, when starting the "Bear Family Politeness Plan", forgetting a "Please" or a "Thank You" meant you had to sweep the front steps, pushing or shoving was beat two rugs, interrupting was sweep the front steps, and name calling was cleaning the entire cellar.]

Brother Bear:
This is serious. If we're not careful, we may end up doing all those chores.

Papa Bear:
[after accidentally crashing the car] Why that pinheaded fiddlebrain!

Sister Bear:
Papa...?! That's name calling!

Mama Bear:
(Penalty number 4!) You know what the penalty for that is!

Papa Bear:
The worst penalty of all! Cleaning our entire cellar!

Driver:
[angrily; to Papa after he accidentally bumped his car] You No-good nincompoop! Why I ought too...!

[After Brother and Sister accidentally break Mama's best lamp]

Sister Bear:
Mama's favorite lamp!

Brother Bear:
Smashed all to bits!

Sister Bear:
What are we gonna do?!

Mockingbird:
[to Brother and Sister] Well, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna get the heck out of here.

[The mockingbird, she flies away. As echoed from the book version, the bear family had some house rules just as any family has. The first rule --out of the three-- it was, "No eating honey in bed!". The second rule was, "No tracking mud on the clean floors!". And the third and final one was, "No playing ball in the house!".]

Brother Bear:
Oh, my gosh! Here comes Mama!

Sister Bear:
Oh, no! What'll we do?

Brother Bear:
We could hide the lamp!

Sister Bear:
There's no time!

Brother Bear:
Well, we could at least hide the soccer ball.

Sister Bear:
Hurry, here she comes! Hide it quick!

Mama Bear:
Well, I'm back from my shopping. Did you have your milk and cook- My lamp! My very best lamp! What happened to it?

Brother Bear:
Well, um...

Sister Bear:
You see...

Brother Bear:
It got broken.

Mama Bear:
I know it got broken! How did it get broken?

Brother Bear:
Well, it was a bird!

Sister Bear:
A bird? Yes. A bird!

Brother Bear:
That's right! A big purple bird with yellow feet!

Sister Bear:
Yes! And a red head and green wingtips.

Brother Bear:
And funny little red feathers sticking out of its head.

Mama Bear:
This bird, did it make any kind of sound?

Brother Bear:
It squawked.

Sister Bear:
It whistled.

Brother Bear:
That's right. It squawked and whistled.

[red-headed purple bird squawking and whistling]

Brother Bear:
Then it flew in the window, zoomed around the room, and broke the lamp.

Mama Bear:
Well, that was quite an experience.

Brother Bear and Sister Bear:
Yeah.

Papa Bear:
Well, hello, group! How's every little- [sees that Mama's best lamp is fully broken] HOLY CATFISH!! What happened to Mama's best lamp?!

Mama Bear:
It's quite an interesting story. Why don't you tell it to your Papa?

Brother Bear:
Well, there was this big green-headed yellow bird with purple feet...

Sister Bear:
No! A red-headed purple bird with yellow feet.

Brother Bear:
Yeah, yeah. A purple-headed green bird with red feet and yellow wingtips and green feathers growing out of it's...

Sister Bear:
No, no, no! A yellow-headed green bird with red feet and purple wingtips and...

Papa Bear:
Just a minute, please! You've got me confused. Now, what was it, a yellow bird with green wingtips and purple feet, or a purple bird with green wingtips and yellow feet, or a white bird with black spots, like that soccer ball behind my easy chair? Well, do you two say for yourselves?

Mama Bear:
Now, Papa, don't be too hard on them. You see, I'm not worried about the lamp. We can always get a new lamp or we can glue this one back together. What I'm sad about is the thought that maybe, just maybe, my cubs whom I've always trusted, aren't telling me the truth. And trust is something you cannot put back together again once it's broken.

[From Mama's saying, buying another lamp is always possible. That is, or gluing the old lamp back together.]

Sister Bear:
It wasn't a bird, it was a soccer ball!

Brother Bear:
And it was all my fault.

Sister Bear:
It was just as much as my fault.

Sister Bear:
A penny for your thoughts, Papa.

Papa Bear:
Where's the penny?

Sister Bear:
Right here.

Papa Bear:
Well, what your old Papa was thinking about...

Mama Bear, Sister Bear and Brother Bear:
...was honey! [chuckle]

Sister Bear:
That's all you ever think about, Papa.

Papa Bear:
It's all very well to scoff. But the fact is that honey is very important to Bear Country. Not only is it nature's most perfect food, it's the foundation of Bear Country's entire economy. Why, without bees and honey, Bear Country would be in very serious trouble!

Weasel McGreed:
Just picture it, hundreds of thousands of these little darlings gulping down those bees, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp!

Raffish Ralph:
I'm picturing, I'm picturing!

Weasel McGreed:
Hour after hour! Day after day! And after a while, no more bees!

Raffish Ralph:
Ah, and no more bees means no more honey!

Weasel McGreed:
And no more honey means the end of Bear Country as we know it!

Weasel McGreed:
"Mission accomplished!" [laughs maniacally] Release another bee! [laughs maniacally]

Professor Actual Factual:
They've done it! By Jove, they've done it! Brother and Sister have saved the bees!

Brother Bear and Sister Bear:
With a little help from our friends.

Brother Bear:
GET YOUR DOPEY FEET OUT OF MY FACE!

[Sister puts her face into Brother's face.]

Sister Bear:
MY FEET ARE NOT DOPEY, GROUCHPUSS! AND THEY ARE NOT IN YOUR FACE!

Brother Bear:
NOW HEAR THIS! GET YOUR DOPEY FACE OUT OF MY FACE!

Sister Bear:
[still has her face in Brother's face] OH YEAH!? WELL, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS DOPEY, BROTHER BEAR!

[With a smirk, Sister zips out of her bunk fast and runs in front of Brother.]

Sister Bear:
BECAUSE WHILE YOU SIT THERE BEING A CLAUD, I AM GOING INTO THE BATHROOM BEFORE YOU! AND I AM LOCKING THE DOOR!

[Sister --after she says this-- runs off to the bathroom, gets into it before Brother, and locks the door.]

Sister Bear:
[from inside the bathroom] (AND YOU CAN HAVE SOME TIME IN THE BATHROOM...! ...IF I LEAVE ANY!)

Brother Bear:
[pounding on the door] HEY! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! YOU LITTLE TWERP, YOU BETTER UNLOCK THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW! IF YOU DO NOT UNLOCK THIS DOOR...!

[Sister vows that Brother can have some time in the bathroom if she leaves any time for him. But --forgetting that she is taking a long time in the bathroom and is not sure whether she should let Brother have some time in the bathroom-- brushes her teeth. While she washes her face, combs her fur, and brushes her teeth, she sings a classic children's song called The Mulberry Bush. Then the scene cuts to Sister Bear who is singing The Mulberry Bush while brushing her teeth.]

Sister Bear:
[sings] ♪ This is the way we brush our teeth, ♪

♪ Brush our teeth, brush our teeth, ♪

[Brother pauses banging and listens to Sister singing.]

Brother Bear:
[in between outbursts] She is singing!

Sister Bear:
[singing] ♪ This is the way we brush our teeth, ♪

♪ So early in the morning. ♪

♪ Here we go round the mulberry bush, ♪

♪ The mulberry bush, the mulberry bush, ♪

♪ Here we go round the mulberry bush, ♪

♪ So early in the morning. ♪

[The scene cuts back to Brother.]

Brother Bear:
[resumes outbursts] IF YOU DO NOT UNLOCK THIS DOOR...!

Papa Bear:
[angrily comes out of the bedroom] Brother Bear!

Brother Bear:
[realizes] Uh, good morning, Papa.

Papa Bear:
What in the name of Bear Country is going on here?! (You know better than to shout at your sister!)

Brother Bear:
You see, Papa...!

Papa Bear:
What kind of excuse do you have for banging on doors and calling your sister names?!

Brother Bear:
Well, see. She put her feet in my face, then when I told her not to, She called me "Grouchpuss" and seek a bathroom ahead of me and lock the door. Then when I ask her to come out, she started to sing and--

Papa Bear:
[puts a hand in Brother's mouth] None of which is any kind of excuse for pounding on doors and calling names!

Sister Bear:
[comes out of the bathroom] Good morning, Papa. It certainly is a lovely.

Papa Bear:
Good morning, Sweetie. (to Brother angrily) Now why can't you be sweet and cooperate like your sister?

Brother Bear:
[turns red with anger, growls furiously and angrily slams the door] I'M NOT GONNA SPEAK TO HER AGAIN FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE!!!

Sister Bear:
You got a deal, Buster.

[After Brother steals back his toy trucks and planes and puts them at a high shelf in a closet where Sister can't reach them.]

Sister Bear:
Well, I like that. Some unauthorized person has been using my modeling clay.

[Sister steals back her clay and furiously squishes the clay dinosaurs, turns them into a lump, and angrily rolls it into a ball.]

Brother Bear:
It took me a week to make those! [angrily goes to the jigsaw puzzle] Well, what about my jigsaw puzzle that some little twerp has been putting together?!

[As echoed from the book, Sister stole back her clay --which Brother made into clay dinosaurs-- and rolled them up into one big lump. Brother --on the other hand-- stole back his toy trucks and planes and hid them in a high closet shelf. And Sister could not reach them. Upon continuation, Brother angrily knocks down the puzzle pieces, everything tumbling down the floor.]

Sister Bear:
You no-good rat! I've been working on that puzzle for two whole weeks!

Brother Bear:
What about my clay dinosaurs?! I was working on them for a school project!

Sister Bear:
Oh, yeah?! Well, my clay is my clay and you're absolutely no right!

Brother Bear:
I have every right! You're always using my stuff: my skateboard, my hockey stick, my...!

Sister Bear:
Never mind about your stuff, you no-good sword head!

Brother Bear:
You're the sword head, you little silly nit-wit!

Sister Bear:
WHY YOU LITTLE OVERGROWN! YOU JUST SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

Brother Bear:
WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?!

Papa Bear:
WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON UP THERE? I WANT THAT SHOUTING STOPPED THIS INSTANT! UNDERSTAND?!

Sister Bear:
It's all his fault! He called me names!

Brother Bear:
All my fault?! It's all her fault!

Papa Bear:
[angrily roars in frustration] I don't care whose fault it is! I WANT THIS FIGHTING AND BICKERING STOPPED! STOP, YOU HEAR?! [Papa Bear, Brother Bear, and Sister Bear then argue at each other] WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS, A FAMILY FEUD?! I WANT THE NOISE STOPPED! STOP, YOU HEAR?! [Mama whistles to stop them.]

Sister Bear:
I didn't know you whistle that loud, Mama.

Mama Bear:
Well, I can. And I can also tell you that is going to be quite enough of this foolish fighting. Why, I do not think you two can remember what you are fighting about. [picks up the cubs, sits down on her armchair, and hugs Brother and Sister on her lap]

[As Lizzy teaches the alphabet to the pretend class, the pretend school pointer Lizzy has is revealed to be a stick or twig. Echoed from the book, Lizzy she had a pointer stick in one hand and a piece of chalk in the other.]

Lizzy:
Please be seated Sister (and class). It is time for your lessons. First, I am going to teach you the alphabet. The first letter of the alphabet is "A".

[Lizzy --with the piece of chalk in the right hand-- writes a capital "A" on the pretend chalk board. That is, as she --in the left hand-- holds the pointer stick. But before she can ask the class if any of them know what the second letter of the alphabet is, Sister --pretending to be one of her "pretend students"-- interrupts Lizzy --who is the "pretend teacher"-- and wants to have the pointer and be the teacher.]

Sister Bear:
Now just a minute! Who on Earth said that you were going to be the teacher?! When I play school, I'm the teacher! And not only that! I already know my ABC's!

Lizzy:
[to Sister] Sister Bear!? If you do not sit down this very minute, I'm going to keep you after school!

Sister Bear:
Is that so? [poking with her finger on Lizzy's belly] Well, if you do not give me that pointer, I am going to keep you after school!

Lizzy:
OH NO YOU ARE NOT!

Sister Bear:
OH YES, I AM!

[Sister grabs the pointer from Lizzy. They both wrestle for the pointer stick. All of a sudden, the stick snaps in half. Then the scene turns to Sister and Lizzy. And they each have a half of the stick --as Sister had broken it]

Lizzy:
NOW LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE! YOU BROKE MY POINTER!

[That is what Lizzy says to Sister after Sister broke and totaled her pointer. In fact, Sister broke --and totaled-- it beyond repair.]

Sister Bear:
HERE! KEEP YOUR OLD POINTER! (HERE IS YOUR DOPEY POINTER BACK!)

[Sister throws the pointer stick down in front of Lizzy's feet.]

Sister Bear:
I AM NEVER GOING TO PLAY WITH YOU AGAIN!

Lizzy:
Sister's mad, and I'm glad!

Sister Bear:
Lizzie-Lizzie in a tizzy!

[Sister and Lizzy make up for the fight yesterday.]

Lizzy:
[to Sister] Here is your doll back. You Sister can be the teacher as many times as you want.

Sister:
[to Lizzy for a better idea] Or we can take turns.

[But even though Sister still broke and totaled Lizzy's pointer stick, she and Lizzy bury the hatchet. Sister's idea does sound great though. Her idea is taking turns being the teacher.]

[while Teacher Jane and her class are doing deep knee bends in gym]

Sister Bear:
I'm getting tired already.

Lizzie:
I was getting tired just...thinking about it.

Millie:
Why do we have to do so many?

Lizzie:
[during gym class] Why do we have to walk like ducks?

Millie:
Beats me.

[The whole class does the duck walk]

Sister Bear:
I'll bet nobody makes ducks walk like bears.

Sister Bear:
Why is exercising in gym so important anyway?

Brother Bear:
Exercise makes your muscles stronger. And stronger muscles can make you a better soccer player. That's what I want to be.

Lizzie:
[looks at Sister's excuse note] Now who's the lucky one?

[She passes the note back to Sister who then passes it to Millie]

Millie:
[looks at the note] Gee, when will it be my turn to sprain something?

Lizzie:
Remember the time I fell out of a tree and sprained my wrist, and y mom wrote me a note to excuse me from gym?

Sister Bear:
I remember. How come you get all the luck?

Teacher Bob:
I found all the jobs you wrote about very interesting, Brother.

Brother Bear:
I had a hard time picking just one.

Teacher Bob:
[reading Brother's report aloud] "There are many wonderful jobs and opportunities to choose from, and there's plenty of time for me to decide what I'd like to be when I grow up." Very thoughtful words indeed, Brother Bear.

Cousin Freddy:
Do you have any ideas on what you want to be when you grow up?

Brother Bear:
When I was younger, I wanted to be Superbear.

Cousin Freddy:
[chuckles] I don't think that counts.

Brother Bear:
You're probably right.

Sister Bear:
If I'm not big enough for the team, how come I'm big enough to be team manager?

Sister Bear:
I'm fast, I'm tricky, and I kick really hard.

Sister Bear:
Maybe you're just jealous, Lizzie Bruin, because I'm the best jump roper in Bear Country and you're not.

Lizzie:
I am not Jealous.

Sister Bear:
Are too jealous.

Sister Bear:
I just want to say, may the best bear win.

Brother Bear:
Gee, I wish I had a bad habit to break so I can earn some extra money.

Papa Bear:
[laughing] Oh, go on.

Papa Bear:
[about his pumpkin rival and opponent Farmer Ben who has won the pumpkin contest 10 or more years already before Papa even entered] MY PUMPKIN --THE GIANT-- IT CAN BEAT THE PANTS OFF FROM ANY OF FARMER BEN'S PUMPKINS! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE PUMPKIN CONTEST!

Mama Bear:
Thanksgiving is about giving thanks and not about beating the pants off someone, especially with your best friend.

Papa Bear:
[half chuckles and then roars in frustration about the Giant coming in first place] (HA!) THERE ARE NO FRIENDS IN PUMPKIN GROWING CONTESTS!

[Indeed, for 10 years in a row, Farmer Ben has gotten first place with his pumpkin while Mrs. Mc Grizz --for 10 years-- has gotten second place. And Papa --with the Bear family's pumpkin "The Giant"-- wants to beat his rivals --Farmer Ben and Mrs. McGrizz-- this year. That is, not knowing that "The Giant" is going to go in 3rd place every year. But --despite that-- Papa still hopes his pumpkin --The Giant-- will go in first or second place this year.]

Papa Bear:
You know, you can have your colorful autumn leaves and your golden sunsets. What I like best about fall is a big spread of orange pumpkins.

Sister Bear:
What is Papa doing?

Papa Bear:
[to the Giant] Come on, buddy. Keep growing. You can do it. Think big.

Mama Bear:
[laughs] Papa just read a book that says you can make plants grow faster by talking to them.

Sister Bear:
Hmm. Was it a comic book?

[Brother and Sister started to laugh]

Papa Bear:
I heard that. Laugh if you want to, but I'll do whatever it takes to win.

Papa Bear:
[watching Farmer Ben fertilize his pumpkin patch] It doesn't matter what you do, Ben. None of your pumpkins are going to ever measure up to the Giant. [chuckles]

Brother Bear:
I don't get it. Queenie pretends to be his friend, we're really trying to be his friends, and we're the ones he ignores.

Cousin Freddy:
How can somebody so smart be so dumb?

Sister Bear:
Ferdy knows a lot of things, but I don't think he knows very much about friends.

Cousin Freddy:
Guess he'll just have to find out about Queenie the hard way.

Sister Bear:
Widder Jones is really nice, isn't she?

Brother Bear:
And she's always doing things for everyone else.

Sister Bear:
[to Brother] Are you doing anything important on Saturday?

Brother Bear:
Yeah, sort of. I'm helping out a neighbor at her yard sale.

Sister Bear:
Me too.

[At Sister and Lizzy's indoor picnic.]

Sister's Doll:
"Mommy...? I cannot eat any more of my sandwich! I am stuffed!"

Lizzy's Doll:
"I am stuffed too".

Sister:
[as her doll's "mama"] I told you to not eat your cookies first.

[Sister and Lizzy both laugh. When Sister's Doll ate her cookies/dessert/snacks first, she was too full up to eat her sandwich.]

[On the video "Trouble at Big Bear High". It is a video that Barry --Lizzy's older brother-- had rented from a video rental shop.]

Boy Bear:
Out of my way, guys! I got points to score! Your team's going down, Fur Ball!

Boy Bear 2:
Who you calling Fur Ball, Fur Ball?

Sister Bear:
Brother, look what you did!

Brother Bear:
Sorry.

Sister Bear:
Brother, you're such a furball!

Mama Bear:
(Gasps)

Sister Bear:
What? Did I say something wrong?

Papa Bear:
You certainly did, young lady! That's a terrible thing to call someone!

Mama Bear:
Wherever did you get language like that?

Sister Bear:
On a video.

Mama Bear:
What sort of video?

Sister Bear:
"Trouble at Big Bear High".

Brother Bear:
"Trouble at Big Bear High"? That video's not for little cubs.

Mama Bear:
If it has that kind of talk in it, I don't think it's fit for big cubs either.

Sister Bear:
Lizzie's older brother rented it. I didn't know.

Papa Bear:
I know you didn't know, but now you do. (And neither did Lizzie.)

Mama Bear:
You could really hurt someone's feelings with that word. But the important thing is, we caught it in time, before you said it to someone else.

Brother Bear:
Uh-oh, I think she said it to someone else.

Mama Bear:
Oh, Sister!

Sister Bear:
Mama, I need to go see Lizzy right away.

Mama Bear:
Hurry along, then.

Brother Bear:
And I thought I did dumb things sometimes. Heh. Oops.

Sister Bear:
Lizzy! You know that word we've been saying? It's a bad word.

Lizzy:
Now you tell me. I called my brother a you-know-what, right in front of my mom!

Sister Bear:
Oh, no!

Lizzy:
Oh, yes! I didn't know it was a bad word. Boy, did I ever get a talking to? I sure wish we'd never watched that video!

Sister Bear:
Me too! No wonder Stacy and Millie didn't want to play with us.

Lizzy:
I forgot all about Stacy and Millie. I wonder what they think of us? Now what do we do?

Sister Bear:
We tell them we're sorry! Come on!

Millie:
Crude talk is rude talk.

Stacy:
And name calling is nasty.

Sister Bear:
Saying words that hurt other people's feelings doesn't sound too grown-up to me.

Mama Bear:
You're right. Our language has so many words to choose from.

Mama Bear:
What are you cubs doing?

Sister Bear:
[sighs] Nothing.

Brother Bear:
There's nothing to do.

Mama Bear:
Nothing to do? Everybody else seems to be able to find something to do.

Papa Bear:
Yes. Four hands may clean up faster than two, but eight hands clean even faster.

Mrs. Bruin:
Some little bears have big ears.

Lizzie:
You mean Sister has big ears?

Sister Bear:
I have big ears!

Mama Bear:
[chuckles] Big ears? Goodness, I don't know where you got the idea. But your ears aren't big.

Sister Bear:
Yes, they are! They're big. Big as an elephant's!

Sister Bear:
Lizzie, maybe you're a bit loud and maybe you talk a lot. But don't ever listen to anyone who says you have a big mouth.

[Mama, Brother, and Sister are crying in the red roadster car --crying because it is not working.]

Papa Bear:
[as he sees that Mama, Brother and Sister are crying --crying with Mama-- because Mama forgot to get the car fixed] What in...!? [sighs] So this is what it's come to! All right then!

[Papa makes an announcement in a big "Papa Bear" tone.]

Papa Bear:
[announcing] AS OF THIS MOMENT I AM CALLING ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING FOR TODAY OFFICIALLY OFF!

Mama Bear:
It's easy to boast, but it's not so easy when you have to do the big things you boast about.

Sister Bear:
So you shouldn't brag about things you've never done before.

Papa Bear:
If there's no prize-winning fish in this lake, why, I'll eat my hat!

Sister Bear:
I think we should have stuck with the fish we had before.

Papa Bear:
But I wanted a real prize winner.

Sister Bear:
But Papa, we weren't catching a fish to win a prize. We were catching a fish for dinner. I don't think Gran and Gramps need a whale.

Farmer Ben:
You cubs look awfully cheery today!

Sister Bear:
That's because school's out.

Brother Bear:
Yep, it's the first day of summer!

Farmer Ben:
[referring to the farm] Peace and quiet doesn't last long around here.

Sister Bear:
[after pumping the water] I think my arms are going to fall off.

Brother Bear:
If they do, may I use them to carry two more pails of water?

Sister Bear:
Gee, Farmer Ben is going to lose his whole crop! He doesn't need to hear about losing his helpers too.

Brother Bear:
I know.

Papa Bear:
You don't need to buy a kite when you can make one.

Papa Bear:
Okay, Everyone set?

Mama Bear:
Are we forgetting something?

Sister Bear:
[gasps] Brother!

[Brother comes running out of the house]

Mama Bear:
[chuckles] Well, we can't forget Brother!

Papa Bear:
[chuckles] After all, this is a family vacation.

Brother Bear:
Got the camera, I wanna take lots of pictures.

[Papa Bear has just fallen into the river after being carried out of the cabin in a flood.]

Papa Bear:
[angrily] That's it! We're going home! The best vacation ever has been nothing but the worst vacation ever! Nothing has gone right. The cabin, the fishing, the berries... THE STEW! It was all supposed to be... fun!

Mama Bear:
Sometimes the difference between having a bad time and a great time all depends on how you look at it.

Papa Bear:
And you know what the best part of this vacation is? It's not over yet. Now, who wants to go find some sweet bumble berries for breakfast?

Sister Bear:
Yes!

Brother Bear Let's go!

[Papa --who was looking for the rest of his newspaper-- finds the rest of his newspaper and sees Brother using it to keep the paint off of his desk. Before that, Sister was hogging the phone when she was talking to Lizzy. That is, even though Mama needed the phone to call the hardware store.]

Papa Bear:
[shocked] What are you doing with (the rest of) my newspaper?!

Brother Bear:
Using it to keep the paint off my desk.

Papa Bear:
You should have asked!

Brother Bear:
But no one in this family reads the for-sale section!

Papa Bear:
Well, I'm reading it now!

[After Papa says this, he demands that Brother hands over the rest of his newspaper. Because the "for sale" section was part of his newspaper. And Brother was using it to keep the paint off of his desk, when he should've taken the old newspaper from the recycle bin instead.]

Mama Bear:
Just think, someday you'll be parents with cubs all your own to take care of.

Brother Bear:
I think maybe we'll skip that part.

Sister Bear:
And we'll just become grandparents.

Teacher Jane:
Our last play for tonight features Brother and Sister Bear, Cousin Fred, and Lizzie Bruin. It's called "The Trouble with Parents".

[As the school play starts, Brother is "Papa Bear", Sister is "Mama Bear", Cousin Freddy is "Brother Bear", and Lizzy is "Sister Bear"]

Brother Bear as Papa Bear:
Where is (the rest of) my newspaper, son?!

Cousin Freddie as Brother Bear:
I have it, Papa. I'm using it so you don't get any paint on this nice new table you made in your workshop.

Brother Bear as Papa Bear:
What?! You didn't ask me!

Cousin Freddie as Brother Bear:
But you never read this section, Papa!

Brother Bear as Papa Bear:
That doesn't matter! Ooh, you cubs make me so mad!

[Everyone in the audience laughs, including the grandparents. But Papa and Mama Bear are embarrassed.]

Lizzy as Sister Bear:
[talking on the phone] Hi, Terry.

Sister Bear as Mama Bear:
Is that Mrs. Waterspout, dear?

Lizzy as Sister Bear:
No, Mama. It is my friend, Terry.

Sister Bear as Mama Bear:
You know I'm waiting for a very important telephone call!

Lizzy as Sister Bear:
I'm sorry, Mama. But I didn't--

Sister Bear as Mama Bear:
You cubs talk on the phone a zillion times a day! It makes me want to SCREAM!

[The cap on Sister's costume flies off.]

[As the school play ends]

Lizzie:
You know sometimes.

Cousin Freddy:
Our parents are all right.

Sister Bear:
But sometimes it's hard being a cub when parents seem to blow their tops without a good reason.

Brother Bear:
Sooner or later, parents grow out of it and become grandparents.

Brother Bear, Sister Bear, Lizzie and Cousin Freddy:
And grandparents never blow their tops at their grandcubs.

Dr. Grizzly:
Papa, I'm afraid you're sick.

Papa Bear:
I never get sick... well, almost never.

Honey:
[hides in the quilt because she does not want to have her second checkup even though she had her first one already] I am not coming out until you promise that I don't have to go to the doctor!

Mama Bear:
When we do the work together, it makes a big job smaller.

Sister Bear:
And easier.

Mama Bear:
Uh-huh.

Brother Bear:
And more fun.

Professor Actual Factual:
Sometimes, little ideas can help solve the biggest problems.

Hilary:
Go ahead! Whoever wants to go play with Little Miss Hairbow can be my guest!

Sister Bear:
Mama, do you think jumping rope is just for little cubs?

Mama Bear:
No, I don't think so.

Teacher Bob:
If at first you don't succeed, then try, try again.

Mama Bear:
We have some work to do.

Brother Bear:
Work? But I thought this was supposed to be a vacation.

Sister Bear:
Brother's right. It's not fair!

Mama Bear:
Ah-ha. Now I see. The cubs are learning a lesson today.

Papa Bear:
[chuckles] That's right. It's Papa Bear's crash course in vacation cooperation, consideration, and participation.

Papa Bear:
What's the matter, Brother? Have you got ants in your pants?

Brother Bear:
No, I have sand in my swim suit.

[After Brother and Sister have to miss out going to the book store because it's closed --thanks to Brother who was late.]

Brother Bear:
Maybe next time, I should pay closer attention to my watch.

Mama Bear:
[to Brother] A watch does not take you where you have to be. [then turns to both him and Sister] It is up to you two to decide if you want to be on time.

[According to Mama, a watch is one thing. But it is not going to take you where you have to be. It is up to you --or in this case Brother-- to decide if you want to be on time.]

Mama Bear:
It takes all kinds to make up a family.

Sister Bear:
[sighs] what did i do?

Farmer Ben:
Oh, I wouldn't want to live anywhere else, even though there are many chores to do.

Brother Bear:
I wouldn't want to do anything that would make Farmer Ben upset. He might not let us come back and help him again.