The Brady Bunch, Season 2

Mike:
Gas. Did we turn the gas off?

Marcia:
Dad, our stove is electric!

Marcia:
Hello Jenny, this is Marcia. I called about the slumber party I'm having tomorrow night.

Jenny:
I can hardly wait.

Marcia:
Well, it's only for my friends.

Jenny:
Sure, I'm your friend Marcia.

Marcia:
Not anymore. So considered yourself uninvited! [Marcia hangs up the phone]

Greg:
Peter, snow!

Cindy:
Want a piece of licorice?

Bobby:
Yeah!

Cindy:
I bet you do!

Buddy Hinton:
Baby talk, baby talk, it's the wonder you can walk.

Cindy:
You stop that Buddy Hinton!

Buddy Hinton:
Stop that! Oh witty bitty baby talk. There is no witty bitty baby talk say something. Come on, say something.

Peter:
(witnesses it and intervenes) Cut that out, Buddy!

Buddy Hinton:
Baby, baby, what did you say?

Peter:
Quit teasing my sister!

(Peter and Cindy are walking home, until Buddy Hinton taunts them)

Buddy Hinton:
Well, if it isn't Baby Talk and her big brother Chicken again.

Cindy:
You leave us alone.

Mike's voice [inside his head while standing toe-to-toe with Mr. Hinton]:
I'm just going to reason with him. Reasoning; calm, cool reasoning.

Mike:
Oh, shut up!

Carol's voice [inside her head while talking with Mrs. Hinton]:
Women are different, we'll just sit calmly and work everything out.

Carol:
Oh, shut up!

Carol:
Strain a guppy out of his fish tank?

Greg:
Tattletale!

Mike:
All right, that's enough.

Cindy:
But I didn't do anything wrong. Peter stained the guppy.

Mike:
All right what Peter did was wrong and what you did was wrong, too. You know that's none of your business. Your tattling is not right and could get other people into trouble.

Bobby:
I'm not lending everything to a snitcher!

Cindy:
I'm not a snitcher. I just tell it like it is.

Bobby:
Well I'm not lending you my skate key after the way you squealed on Greg and Peter!

Cindy:
Okay, I'll tell what you did yesterday.

Bobby:
You little fink!

(Carol, Alice and Cindy are looking after Bobby)

Alice:
(brings another pillow to rest Bobby's leg) If you ask me, I think it's a miracle.

Carol:
Yes, that he only sprained his ankle.

Alice:
No, I meant that it's a miracle that you have a doctor that makes housecalls.

Cindy:
He didn't even ask Bobby to stick out his tongue and say "Ah".

Alice:
Well, that's just when you sprain the tonsil. Come on, Florence Nightingale, you can help me in the kitchen, making hospital corners on the napkins.

Tiger:
[barking and running down the stairs]

Bobby:
Mom, Dad, my parakeet's loose! Tiger, stop scaring my parakeet!

(Mike got Bobby a parakeet)

Peter:
Boy, a parakeet just for a sprained ankle. Can I get an alligator if I broke my leg?

Mike:
No, so don't try it.

Greg:
Mom's favorite vase.

Bobby:
She always says don't play ball in the house.

Peter:
Does anybody know why Dad called this meeting?

Marcia:
I do. He's gonna tell everybody I broke the vase. I confessed.

Greg:
Oh, no.

Marcia:
Well, somebody had to take the blame.

Greg:
I told Mom I did it.

Bobby:
Me too.

Jan:
Thud. (collapses on the chair)

Bobby:
You too? (Jan nods)

Cindy:
I guess we all confessed.

Tommy Johnson:
Hey man, they're just plain cigarettes.

Cindy:
Greg's smoking.

Wig seller (Guest star Marcia Wallace):
Ah, that's our 'Midnight Temptress' wig.

Jan:
'Midnight Temptress', huh? Well, I don't think I'll be out that late.

Cindy:
By yon bonnie banks

Peter, Jan:
And by yon bonnie braes

(Bobby's drum solo chimes in)

Peter, Jan, Cindy:
Where the sun shines bright on Loch Lomond

Cindy:
How are we supposed to practice?

Peter:
You can hear these drums all the way to Loch Lomond.

Jan:
Right now I wish Bobby was in the glee club.

Peter:
I wish he was in Loch Lomond.

Greg:
Remember Dad, we're talking man-to-man, not kid-to-man man-to-man, but man-to-man, man-to-man.

Peter:
I am a little Sunflower; sunny, brave and true. From tiny bud to blosssom, I do good deeds for you.

Peter:
A neck tie!?

Greg:
Sure Pete. When your famous you cant look like a slob.

Bobby:
Does that mean you have to wear clean socks too?

Greg:
(ignoring Bobby) There, now how I look?

Peter:
Like a slob with a tie!