The Buzz on Maggie

Frieda:
You're not old enough to see those kinds of movies.

Chauncey:
Because Aldrin's older than you.

Aldrin:
Wittle Maggie might get scared.

Chauncey:
So, did you and Rayna see "The Prancing Princess" this afternoon? [morphs into the Flyinator]

Maggie:
[nervously hesitating] Oh, yeah. It was great. Very prancy.

Frieda:
What was your favorite part? [also morphs into the Flyinator]

Maggie:
Uh… the part where the princess, uh… gets chased by the frog?

[Maggie becomes extremely traumatized when she hallucinates her family members as the Flyinator]

Maggie:
Flyinators! Flyinators everywhere!

Chauncey:
[sternly] Maggie Pesky, did you see that movie, even though we told you not to?

Maggie:
[breaking down, sobbing as she tells the truth] YES! YES, I DID! I'M SORRY! I didn't mean to! It's just that, I saw Aldrin there, and he said he saw it and then I couldn't take it and then I had to see it to prove him wrong!

Chauncey:
[to Aldrin] You also saw "The Flyinator?"

Frieda:
Ooh, wasn't that good? [realizes] Oh! I mean, bad boy!

Aldrin:
[scoffs annoyingly; to Maggie] Selling me out like that after all I did for you. Lying about you being at the library, stomping on your foot.

Aldrin:
TIME OUT!! I'm getting my thorax handed to me by my kid brother. What is going on here?!

Chauncey:
Are you letting him win on purpose?

Aldrin:
No, it's this… game! It's crazy! I'm out there stealing and dunking, and I'm getting squashed like I hit a windshield!

Mrs. Wingston:
[approaching Maggie and Rayna] Before you plan your next big project together, you may want to take a look at your grades. [shows them both their papers, revealing they both got C's]

Rayna:
A C? That's our third C this term!

Maggie:
My parents are gonna be so mad… unless I can convince them that "C" stands for, "C? I got it right."

Mrs. Wingston:
Another C, and I'll be "C'ing" you girls in summer school!

Maggie:
Mrs. Wingston is a totally hard grader. I'm sure everyone else got C's too.

Frieda:
We're not mad at you, Maggie dear. We're just disappointed.

Chauncey:
Well, I'm kind of mad.

Maggie:
I'm sorry, Mom and Dad, but science is really hard, and so totally boring. But, mostly really hard.

Frieda:
Well, I don't know what else we can do to help you, dear. We've bought you books, we got you a tutor, well, heck, we even hired a motivational speaker.

Eugene:
Wendell, pretty girls are talking to us.

Wendell:
And we haven't even molted, yet!

[The twin beetles chuckle]

Rayna:
[to Maggie] This is gonna be easier than we thought.

Wendell:
Maybe we should go over these projects one more time, just to be sure that you girls really understand them.

Maggie:
Wow, Eugene. We've really outdone ourselves, haven't we?

Eugene:
[sweating and quivering uncomfortably] Oh, I guess so.

Maggie:
Are you okay? You don't look so good.

Mrs. Wingston:
This looks very interesting. Maggie, why don't you tell the class all about it?

Maggie:
And steal all the glory from my partner? Never. After you, Eugene.

[Stickyfeet Hospital; Maggie and Rayna came to visit Eugene and Wendell]

Maggie:
Hey, guys. Everyone feeling better?

Eugene:
The cesium have an atomic weight of 75.

Maggie:
[relieved] Oh, that's great.

Rayna:
We were so worried.

Wendell:
Actually, that was a no.

Rayna:
I am so never gonna get you guys.

Maggie:
Look, we just wanted to say we're sorry for messing up your presentations.

Eugene:
It's okay, Maggie. I hear college is overrated.

Maggie:
Oh, don't worry about that. We've explained everything to Mrs. Wingston, and you're both getting A's.

Eugene:
Wow. Thanks.

Wendell:
What about you guys?

Maggie:
Well, let's just say Rayna and I will be doing a lot of extra credit.

Frieda:
You heard your father. Germs are filthy little creatures!

[As the Pesky family return home to Stickyfeet in the afternoon]

Chauncey:
What a great trip, huh, kids?

Maggie:
[dashes in and heads to the staircase in a rush] I know. Really fun. Loved it. Sorry it's over.

Frieda:
[stopping her; suspicious] Just where are you headed in such a hurry, young lady?

Maggie:
[nervously] Uh… Bathroom. I can never use those public toilets. The smell.

[Maggie's parents angrily scold their daughter when Germy escapes her bedroom and into the living room before she came back home]

Chauncey:
Young lady, we're furious!

Maggie:
Me too! [turns to Pupert] Pupert, DID YOU BRING THAT GERM IN THIS HOUSE?!

Pupert:
No! I swear! PLEASE, BELIEVE ME!

Chauncey:
But…

Pupert:
FINE! I'll GO TO BED WITHOUT SUPPER, BUT YOU HAV’ENT HEARD THE LAST Of THIS!! [runs to his bedroom, crying]

Chauncey:
Maggie, DIDN’T I TELL YOU NOT TO BRING THAT BUG-FOR SAKING GERM BACK TO STICKYFEET?!

Maggie:
But I cleaned him and I've got him completely trained. [looks around the living room, completely wrecked] Well, almost.

Chauncey:
Stickyfeet doesn't allow germs, Maggie. At least not the ones that make humans sick. We flies had a bad enough rap as it is.

Frieda:
The humans are always blaming us for spreading germs. It's just plain embarrassing.

Maggie:
[remorsefully understanding that her parents are right] I'm sorry.

Chauncey:
You will take that thing right back where you found him, first thing in the morning. End of discussion.

Jimmy's Mom:
[to her son] Jimmy, you know the answer to that question. You did do your homework. Do we have to go over this again?

[After Mrs. Wingston and the other faculty of Buzzdale Academy leave the school, quitting their jobs…]

Rayna:
Oh, my bug, they're everywhere! It's like Night of the Living Parents!

Principal Peststrip:
We can't just send them back to the cafeteria, we have to get them out of the school!

Maggie:
There's only one person I know who's tough enough to send those monsters back to their caves.

Mr. Bugspit:
My idea is that… [shouting angrily in Maggie's face] YOU KEEP YOUR IDEAS TO YOURSELF!

Maggie:
Okay, now my turn?

Mr. Bugspit:
NO!

Aldrin:
Perfume! They've hit us with perfume!

George:
I smell too good!

Maggie:
[kicks the front door open] Maggie's home!

Aldrin:
They've breached our perimeter! Retreat, men! RETREAT!

Maggie:
We got 'em right where we want 'em. Let's take back our hangout! Ah, perfect! The last bastion of mail safety.

Rayna:
Mm-hmm, the toilet.

Maggie:
I know you cowards are in there! You trespassed on Maggie Pesky's all-girls-hangout, and now you're gonna pay! Step back 'cause we're coming in! [lifts up her foot, ready to kick the bathroom door down]

Chauncey:
[off-screen] No, you're not, young lady.

Maggie:
Huh?

Frieda:
This has gone far enough.

Chauncey:
I let you kids hang out in my house for one day and this is what happens?

Maggie:
But it was supposed to be my hangout! You promised.

Chauncey:
Look, if you kids had been considered of each other at the Trash Bean, you could have stayed there. And if you had worked things out here, you could have had a great hangout. But now, you've got nothing.

Pupert:
I thought Mom and Dad said you couldn't have Rayna over.

Maggie:
Pupie, I have a fantasious plan. And you're an important part of it. I'm going to have a sleepover with Rayna, and you get to be…

Pupert:
The tattletale? [Fade to his imagination when he tattles on his parents about Maggie's disobedience] And that's how Maggie totally disobeyed you.

Chauncey:
Maggie Pesky, you're grounded for LIFE!

Maggie:
This black widow is not as romantic as I thought.

Rayna:
I'm glad this ain't my house.

Maggie:
[doubtfully saddened] I guess my parents were right. I wasn't ready to have a sleepover when they weren't home.

Rayna:
Maybe they won't ground you for like, eternity.

Maggie:
But, they can't ground me for something I didn't do. Plan B: Clean up, destroy all evidence, and act like it never happened.

Rayna:
[looking out the window, seeing that Maggie's parents are coming home] Well, you better act quick, 'cause here come your parents!

Mrs. Wingston:
Alright, people! Friday's our class trip to Raging Gutters water park. [the students all cheer excitedly] So, let's see your permission slips.

Rayna:
Ooh, I can't wait, girl! Soakin' up the sun, slidin' down the storm drain.

Maggie:
Ker…

Rayna:
Splash!

[The two girls high five]

Fly student #1:
Ew, yuck! We'll have to share water with the wannabes?

Fly student #2:
They'll stink up the trip, and not in a good way.

Dawn:
Not if they can't get on the bus.

Mrs. Wingston:
Maggie, your permission slip.

Maggie:
[gives Mrs. Wingston her permission slip] Voila.

Mrs. Wingston:
Hm, looks like there's a mark on your permanent record.

Maggie:
Eh, probably made honor roll. Let's uh, keep it on the QT. No need to shame the others.

Mrs. Wingston:
Hmm, it says here, you pulled a phony fire drill.

Maggie:
What?! But-but, that's not true!

Rayna:
Maggie'd never do that!

Mrs. Wingston:
Very convincing coming from someone who wrote the answers to the Latin final ON HER WINGS!

Rayna:
[offended] Say what?! Our school don't even offer Latin!

Mrs. Wingston:
Sorry, ladies, but you'll be spending Friday in detention. Oh, and according to this, so will you, [points to Eugene, then to Wendell] you, [to Gym Shorts Kid] YOU, and you. [points to Melvin, as all four look shocked]

Maggie:
But, Mrs. Wingston, there must be some mistake!

Dawn:
This is my favorite part.

[Maggie and her friends visit Principal Peststrip in his office and complain to him about their permanent records]

Principal Peststrip:
Shush, shush, shush, shush. Sorry, folks. The permanent record never lies.

Maggie:
But, Principal Peststrip, none of us did any of those things!

Principal Peststrip:
And who do you expect me to believe, huh? You, who have every reason to lie to me or this innocent little manila folder? You wouldn't lie to me, would you? [talks with a Mickey Mouse impression] No way, Mr. P, never. No.

Rayna:
Don't you think you'd remember if Maggie pulled a phony fire drill?

Principal Peststrip:
Hmm, I suppose so.

Eugene:
[disappointed] Darn! I was gonna cannonball off the high dive.

Wendell:
No, you weren't.

Eugene:
Well, I… I might've.

Maggie:
Guys, guys, we can't just stand by and let Dawn get away with this.

Rayna:
Oh, sure we can, if the permanent record says so.

Maggie:
Hey, that's it! Peststrip says the record's word is final, right? Well, if Dawn can change it one way, we can change it back.

Melvin:
We can? How?

Maggie:
By breaking in and fixing our records so they're right again.

Rayna:
Break in? But Maggie, that is stooping to Dawn's level. Haven't you ever heard the old saying, "Two wrongs don't make a right?"

Maggie:
But, Rayna, there's another saying. "One wrong that fixes another wrong restores balance to the universe."

Rayna:
Don't know that one.

Maggie:
Never got on like the original.

Eugene:
Maggie, come on, gal, think this through. Have you seen Peststrip's records' room?

Wendell:
The security's tighter than a pair of Gym Shorts Kid's gym shorts!

Maggie:
Rayna, we'll need you to impersonate Dawn. Can you do it?

Rayna:
[impersonating Dawn's voice] How's this?

Maggie:
Work on it.

[As Maggie's friends all dump out their juice boxes before going to Raging Gutters water park, Maggie watches through the classroom window while in detention with four other students and sits back at her desk]

Dawn:
[off-screen] Detention?! I'm telling you, it's a frame-up! [enters the classroom while talking with Principal Peststrip] Why would I change people's records without checking with you first?

Principal Peststrip:
I'm sorry, Dawn, but the permanent record… never lies. [leaves the classroom, closing the door]

Dawn:
[to Maggie; sharply] You!

Maggie:
Huh?

Dawn:
Don't play innocent! You changed my record to get me busted! Whatever happened to "I'm not you?"

Maggie:
I didn't. I swear.

Dawn:
Yeah, right! Who else would want me here?

Snap:
[whistling] Yo, springtime! Saved you a seat.

Aldrin:
Dad, I got my fist stuck in the punching bag again!

Pupert:
Looks like somebody put my pants in my hat drawer! Who's the comedian?

Director:
[frightfully] Uh, Miss Cartflight? I think you've had enough cocoa.

Rayna:
[turns to him while drunk on cocoa] I will tell you when I have had enough!

Maggie:
Let's see what the old brain cooked up. [reading] "You're on your own! ❤️ Maggie?" [to her brain; annoyingly] Brain!

Maggie's Brain:
I'm a brain, not a magician.

Maggie:
Of course! Now it all makes sense! You wanted me to look like a fool!

Bella:
Gaa.

Maggie:
Don't give me that. You owe me, Bella. [viciously enraged] I MADE YOU!

Maggie:
For someone with no legs, you really know how to step on your sister! Well, Bella, we'll just see about that.

Maggie:
Yeah, that's right! Let that be a lesson to all of you!

Chauncey:
Maggie Pesky, what's this I hear about you bullying some poor ant boy?

Maggie:
No, you don't understand, he…

Frieda:
Maggie, this type of behavior gives flies a bad name.

Maggie:
[to Aldrin, holding a King Choco bar wrapper] See? I told you I'd get a King Choco bar.

Aldrin:
A King Choco bar wrapper?

Maggie:
[sobs] I think I love them already.

Maggie:
Rayna's signing up for Bugtillion.

Dawn:
Well, I'm sorry to "Rayna" on your parade.

Rayna:
You're gonna join Bugtillion after what Dawn did to me?!

Maggie:
I'm joining Bugtillion because of what Dawn did to you. Think about it, Rayna. With me working on the inside, and you on the outside, we can full-on sabotage our prissy snob-fest.

Mrs. Swatworthy:
Rayna Cartflight, you are in so much trouble!

Maggie:
[gasps and steps up, defending Rayna] Wait! This is all my fault!

[The audience gasp in shock]

Frieda:
[gasps] Your fault? Maggie, you?

Maggie:
[upset] I wanted to get back at Dawn for what she did to Rayna, but I didn't think about how I might ruin it for everybody. I'm sorry, Mom. [to the audience] I'm sorry to everybody. [to Dawn] Well, not so much you.

[Dawn sizzles up angrily]

Frieda:
[refills Rayna's bowl with more stew] Oh, and there's more where that came from.

Rayna:
Oh, goody. [whispering to Maggie] Your mom's killing me here.

Maggie:
This isn't even my handwriting. It looks like… [infuriated] RAYNA'S! I'll teach her a thing or two!

[Maggie shows up at the Cartflight house boot, rings the doorbell, and Mrs. Cartflight answers the door]

Maggie:
Hey, Mrs. Cartflight. Is Rayna home? I can't find her anywhere.

Mrs. Cartflight:
I believe she's getting some math tutoring on the beach.

Maggie:
The beach?

Mrs. Cartflight:
I know it's strange, baby. But Rayna insisted that some field study would help her with her mouth.

Maggie:
Oh, I bet she did.

Maggie:
I'm so mature I read the business section!

Rayna:
I'm so mature I have life insurance!

Maggie:
I'm so mature my bones ache.

Rayna:
I wear dentures!

[The two bump into each other]

Both:
Ow.

Maggie:
My grandchildren never write.

Rayna:
My memory's shot. I can't even remember why we're doing this.

Maggie:
Bugspit would know a good story if it bit him in the thorax!

Mr. Bugspit:
And as we approach the vacation season, we are reminded that it is time to celebrate a time to be joyful, and a time for me assign your midterm project.

[All the students groan]

Gym Shorts Kid:
But, we're supposed to have the next two weeks off.

Mr. Bugspit:
And this project should take two weeks to complete. It works perfectly!

Mr. Bugspit:
Nice try, Miss Pesky, but this is History.

Maggie:
Oh! So that's why I was sleeping.

Rayna:
This diorama is a really big deal, Maggie. I can't flunk out of History.

Maggie:
[typing on her computer] Neither can I. That's why I'm getting a little help from my Uncle Morty.

Rayna:
Who? [Maggie turns her computer monitor; reading a website] "Uncle Morty's House of Dioramas. Specializing in pre-made dioramas for the very busy student who let's face it has better things to do."

Maggie:
That's me!

Rayna:
That's cheating. You can't.

Maggie:
I just did. I should be receiving my "deluxe" recreation of the Boston Flea Party in five business days.

Rayna:
Uh, fly-friend, Bugspit totally has it out for you.

Aldrin:
What kind of fleeb invites a teacher over for dinner?

Maggie:
I just invited him to be nice. I figured, hey, he's into dioramas, Dad was into dioramas, he'll see me working on my diorama, it'll be fun.

Aldrin:
And me without my party hat! [smiles, then frowns]

[The doorbell rings]

Maggie:
That's him now! Places, people! And… go! [starts getting to work on her diorama]

Frieda:
Well… [the front door knocks] Oh! I guess I'll get it. [walks to the door and answers it, revealing Mr. Bugspit standing at the doorway] Hello! Welcome, Mr. Bugspit! I'm Frieda.

Mr. Bugspit:
Call me Cornelius.

Mr. Bugspit:
…And that is how the Royal Bee Kingdom was saved.

Chauncey:
[impressed] Wow, what a story!

Mr. Bugspit:
I got plenty more where that came from.

Maggie, Aldrin, and Pupert:
[all to their mother] Can we please be excused?

Frieda:
Certainly, kids. Go ahead. Save yourselves.

Chauncey:
I have to hand it to you, Cornelius. You really made History come alive for me and my daughter.

Mr. Bugspit:
It's a gift.

Maggie:
I only wish I was alive when Dad's diorama was still around. Bet it was a doozy.

Maggie:
I can't take it! This is supposed to be my vacation! But he's everywhere! It's all Bugspit, all the time.

Rayna:
Well, on the upside, that diorama's looking good.

Maggie:
Yeah, right. The one from the Internet still isn't here, so I have to keep pretending to care about this stupid thing. I don't know how this could get any worse.

Maggie:
[on the phone] It was supposed to be here four days ago! I've still got a little vacation to enjoy. [shouting] Uncle Morty promised me a finished diorama and I want it NOW! [angrily hangs up and looks at her diorama, noticing that it's finished] I have a finished diorama!

Rayna:
Well, I guess Stickyfeet is doomed.

Maggie:
[to Aldrin] How am I supposed to live my scooter lifestyle when the whole town blames me for your injury?!

Frieda:
[to her husband as the raccoon picks up the Pesky family's car] You know, with that whole "car ride" back here, we probably could have come up with a better plan.

Maggie:
[shocked] UNCLE ERN! Is that a…video camera?!

[Uncle Ern is filming the footage with his camera as he waves]

[Two days later…]

Maggie:
Rayna, it's been two days.

Rayna:
Oh, I'm sorry, Maggie. But the dress, and the shoes, and the... [laughs hysterically] Why didn't you warned me?

Maggie:
Why didn't I warned you? Take your reaction and multiple by a thousand. That's what my life would be like if this clogging stuff gets out!

Chauncey:
[unsure] I don't know, Maggie. You've got a skuff on your dragon boots there, Aldrin. [mistakenly points to Pupert]

Pupert:
I'm Pupert.

Chauncey:
See? You can't even tell who we are!

Maggie:
Exactly! I mean, that's exactly our gimmick. We're the cloggers of mystery. Completely and utterly take it to our graves, anonymous.

Frieda:
Do we really need a gimmick, dear? I mean, we are clogging.

Aldrin:
I kinda like it. It makes me look even cooler than usual. And I didn't think that was possible.

Pupert:
I feel bad! To not showering before get in the pool kind of bad!

Aunt Florence:
What in bug sake is going on? Where's my brother? His family? This is devil clogging! [picks up the phone and calls a number]

Rayna:
You call that a stunt? I am telling if you could have seen those eight balloons.

Maggie:
[worriedly] This can't be good.

Aunt Florence:
[zooms in the footage on Maggie's head] Right there. You see that pink hair slipping out? I only know one clogger with hair like that. Now the truth can be revealed. Cloggers X is the Pesky family!

Maggie:
[comes out of the house] LIES! LIES, I SAY! HOW DARE YOU?!

Police Officer:
Disturbing the piece, ma'am. You're going downtown.

Aunt Florence:
Embrace your greatness, Peskys. You are clogging done!

Frieda:
Maggie, we can't let them put dear Aunt Florence away!

Chauncey:
Out of my way, young lady.

Frieda:
Golly. I never realized clogging was so unpopular.

Chauncey:
Maybe we should kept it our own private thing.

[Iris closes in on Maggie and she groans angrily]

Maggie:
[flying after Rayna] Rayna, no! You don't understand!

Rayna:
I'm getting carried off on those shoulders! You'll see! Dream Killer!

Maggie:
Look what you've done to our vacation!

Aldrin:
Our vacation? This was your vacation! You tricked all of us into coming!

Maggie:
You might have enjoyed it if you didn't spend the whole time scheming and sabotaging!

[As the Pesky family drive home to Stickyfeet…]

Chauncey:
[last lines] Looks like I own your allowances for the next… well… forever.

Frieda:
[last lines] And from now on, neither of you gets to decide where we go on vacation.