Xiaolin Showdown, Season 2

Dojo:
Hah! The joke's on you Wuya! You broke the Reversing Mirror. Seven years bad luck! In, your, face!

Wuya:
Actually, since its the Reversing Mirror, its seven years good luck.

Dojo:
Ooh, hadn't thought of that. Crud.

Omi:
I am most confused. If you were just going to give me the pebble, why make me go through the whole Showdown?

Dashi:
Two reasons. One, it was funny.

Dojo:
True.

Dashi:
Two, to teach you something.

Wuya:
Crush them.

Dojo:
[girly shriek] A retreat might be in order, here!

Kimiko:
You...You...YOU!...

Clay:
Doofus?

Kimiko:
[to Clay] Thank you. [to Jack] YOU DOOFUS! You trapped Omi in the past forever!

Wuya:
Delicious. My domination of the world is now...complete.

Raimundo:
Uh, Wuya? You might wanna do head count. You're short one, Omi.

Wuya:
Omi? [gasps, poof] Where's Omi?

Clay:
Frankly, It's none of your business, Ma'am.

Wuya:
Oh, as they say I have ways to making you talk.

Jack:
He's trapped in a past!

Raimundo:
What?

Jack:
Yeah. He traveled back in time as some guy named Dashi for help!

Wuya:
Omi's in a past?

Kimiko:
Yes. And now he's trapped there!

Jack:
And it was me who sent him back, Wuya! I was really on your side all the way! Stupid Omi walked right in to our trap! WOO-HOO! You can let me go now.

Wuya:
Forget it, Jack. I'm not buying it.

Jack:
Really? Even if I whimper? [whimpers]

Raimundo:
Omi's really trapped in the past?

Kimiko:
We'll never see him again, thanks to you!

Dojo:
And I hope you feel guilty about it.

Clay:
Yeah, nice going, you two-faced fink.

Raimundo:
I...I never wanted anything happen to you guys, I...I just wanted my due.

Wuya:
And now you're got it, Raimundo. To the dungeon with them!

Raimundo:
Wait, wait! Wuya. What if these guys. You know swear loyalty to you. Maybe they could sort a live the the palace? With me?

Wuya:
If, they swear their loyalty.

Raimundo:
C'mon, guys! You won't believe the stuff she's got video games, racecars, speed boats...

Jack:
Sold! You can let me go now.

Wuya:
The offer's not for you, Jack.

Jack:
Buy, you really hold the grudge.

Raimundo:
Guys, Wuya rules the whole world. So, c'mon, join the winning team already. What do you say?

Kimiko:
What do we say? How about...DREAM ON!

Clay':
I'd sooner kiss the backside of a mule.

Dojo:
[offscreen] Forget it!

Kimiko:
What's the matter, Rai? You look pretty bored for a guy who rules the world.

Raimundo:
What are you doing here!? Did you decide to join me?

Clay:
Nope. Still rather kiss the backside of a mule.

Kimiko:
We escaped, Raimundo. So be cool and let us go.

Dojo:
Or be a loser and come after us.

Raimundo:
Better run, 'cause I'm coming after you.

Kimiko:
Have it your way.

Raimundo:
C'mon. We got some former friends to catch.

Wuya:
How like Dashi to give you the tool but not the knowledge of how to use it. He always was a fool. A smart dresser, but a fool.

Jack:
Me? Fighting for good? In a bathrobe? Forget it. Next time we meet, we're enemies again.

[Is about to fly off when Omi grabs his trenchcoat and gives him sad eyes.]

Jack:
But maybe some time, if we're not fighting over Shen Gong Wu, we can all go for ice cream. My treat.

Omi:
Yes that would be most nice. We could get a Monday!

Clay:
Sundae.

Omi:
Even better!

Wuya:
You thought I'd stay out of that box forever, didn't you?

Omi:
Yes, I did, Wuya. Well, another 1500 years would have been nice!

Master Fung:
As soon as the user brings forth the power of the shard, he can move so fast no one can see him.

Omi:
I would not count your ducks before they emerge from their shells!

Raimundo:
...that one wasn't even close.

Omi:
Hello, I'm ready to showdown here.

Katnappe:
Stop copy me!

Two Jacks:
Stop copy me!

Katnappe:
Quit it!

Two Jacks:
Quit it!

[Katnappe look at the watch]

Katnappe:
That's it!

Master Fung:
The power of the Crystal Glasses should not be taken lightly.

Wuya:
[Talking to Omi] Soon you will be my greatest ally!

Jack:
I'll even write your own evil theme music! [dramatic music plays] Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun!

Omi:
This is NOT right!

Jack Spicer:
[To Pandabubba] All you want is Hong Kong?! Can't I at least get double-crossed by somebody with some vision?

Raimundo:
Come on, guys. You're making this too easy for me.

Raimundo:
Come on, Omi! It’s a classic gong game!

Omi:
Okay, I hear your concerns and I will take them under advisement with the apprentice’s. Clay, Kimiko?

Clay:
I reckon’ we don't have a better choice.

Kimiko:
Let’s give a shot.

Raimundo:
What?! You’re believing Jack Spicer over ME?! That’s it! I'm finding my own way in, and anyone who wants can go with me!

Clay:
Two-Ton Tunic!

Raimundo:
Eye of Dashi!

Kimiko:
Third-Arm Sash!

Omi:
Orb of Tornami!

Kimiko:
Come on, Rai. You can still win this.

Omi:
Just think: "What would Omi do"?

Wuya:
Forget it, Jack. What happens in Pandatown stays in Pandatown.

Dojo:
The Wings of Tinabi let you fly like an eagle, leaving a cool rainbow vapor trail.

Omi:
[gets an idea] Raimundo, that is the answer! I will grow bigger backwards!

Kimiko:
He got me on that one.

Omi:
Clay, may I please bore the Reversing Mirror? Raimundo, may I please borrow the Changing Chopsticks?

Clay:
Where are you going with this, Omi?

Omi:
Changing Chopsticks! Reversing Mirror! [grows bigger] Now there is nothing I cannot accomplish! Except perhaps explaining to Master Fung about the temple ceiling.

Clay:
You OKAY down there, partner?

Omi:
Oh, yes! Dojo's earwax is most convenient! But I do wish I had a better view. Ah, that is much better!

Dojo:
Better hope I don't sneeze!

Omi:
Nooo, you have very clean sinuses! I thank you!

Dojo:
Why is everybody looking at me like I'm some sort of freak? I AM NOT A FREAK!

Clay:
Relax, Dojo. Nobody is saying anything [whispers OUT LOUD].

Omi:
Has Dojo ever gotten out of his box?

Master Fung:
It's only happened once. It was the last time anyone saw... Atlantis.

Omi:
Why should I remain behind and Raimundo go? It took him the longest to become an apprentice, and no one thought he would make it! [Raimundo clears throat] Uh, I mean, except for me?

Dojo:
[as Master Fung] Omi, it is Master Fung. Dojo is holding me prisoner!

Omi:
No. I do not believe you! [eats an eggroll]

Dojo:
[as a sad little girl; crying] Please let me out. I'm lost! [cries]

Omi:
No! No, I cannot!

Dojo:
[as a mother version of Omi] Omi, this is your mother speaking. You open that door this instant!

Omi:
Dojo, you are merely wasting your efforts. Besides, I am an orphan.

Dojo:
[as Omi] Omi, it's Omi. You've got to let me out!

Omi:
[irritated] Oh, this is not getting most ridiculous!

Omi:
I did not abandon my post! I am still at my post, actually I am inside my post! But that Dojo pulled his sweater over my eyes!

Raimundo:
Alright, that's gotta be Omi.

Master Fung:
Who let Dojo out?

[Clay, Raimundo and Kimiko take one step to the left from Omi]

Omi:
[ashamed with dismay] I am so ashamed. It appears Dojo is one very crafty dragon.

Master Fung:
Oh, this is not good.

Kimiko:
He does know how to make an entrance.

Master Fung:
[to Omi as Dojo is about to eat him] Remember, Omi… The future of the world is in your hands.

Dojo:
[Drowsily] You kids need your rest. How about we get a fresh start tomorrow? And fly around, aimlessly...looking for the Shen Gong...[sleepily]..Wu. [snoring]

Kimiko:
Dojo! Don't nod off on us now! [Wakes Dojo up]

Dojo:
[Disoriented] J-Just 5 more minutes, mommy! I don't wanna go to school!

Jack:
[Holding the Sands of Time] Looking for this, Xiaolin losers? Too bad! You're out of luck and out of time! Haahaaha!

Omi:
It was up to me to find the Sands of Time and I failed all of you. My friends, Master Fung and the entire universe! I believe that about covers it.

Jack:
I guess this would be the part where I let out my new trademark evil laugh. Hahahahahahhahahahah! Muahahahahahaha! [This continues for several seconds]

Omi:
Not so fast Spicer! He who is last to be laughing laughs most loudly!

Raimundo:
What Omi did to that sentence is what we're going to do to you!

Jack:
[holding the Sweet Baby Among Us Wu] It's like taking candy from a bunch of babies!

Old Jack:
Eh? Who's got the babies?

Jack:
Hurry up, old timer. We gotta get the Ruby of Ramses before it reveals itself.

Jack:
I've got two words for you. GYM MEMBERSHIP!

Old Jack:
Wha? I...I don't recall that name. Gym membership! He owes me 5 bucks that guy.

Clay:
[Jack is reading Clay's mind] That Jack is slower than a three-legged cow in quicksand!

Jack:
What!? I'm faster than any three-legged cow! [is hit by Omi]

Kimiko:
Angry? Me? I am not angry. I’M THE LEAST ANGRIEST PERSON I KNOW!!

[Megan appears in front of the monks rolling in the Jack's shield]

Megan:
Hi, I'm Megan.

Raimundo:
Oh, there's something you don't see every day. A little girl in a hamster ball.

Megan:
Are you looking for Jack Spicer and the ugly old hag? [everyone nods and she gets out of the shield] My stupid cousin Jack thinks he locked me inside that thing but I found the door.

Megan:
It's time to play Megan Says. And Megan says "Scream like a sissy boy"!

Jack Spider:
I don't think I know that one.

Megan:
JAAAAAAACK!

[Jack screams like a sissy boy]

Jack:
When hunting the elusive wu, you have to move as quiet as a cat. [stubs toe] OOOOWWWWWWWWW, OOOOHHH THAT HURT! [Screams loudly, then covers up mouth]

Kimiko:
Yawn.

Jack:
[Flying away] Don't worry Xiaolin Losers! I'll thank you in my acceptance speech! [laughs]

Raimundo:
Everybody ready to go kick some Jack Spicer's butt?

Clay:
Does it bull like that snort?

Kimiko:
Yeah, I couldn't have put it better myself.

Omi:
Uhh...I have some scroll to study right now.

Raimundo:
What?

Chase Young:
It will be up to you Dojo. Your stay here can be a pleasant or an unpleasant experience.

Dojo:
[Quickly] I choose pleasant, how about pleasant, pleasant would be nice.

Chase Young:
I thought you might.

Wuya:
Whoever possesses the Monsoon Sandels will have legs that can stretch for miles!

Dojo:
You know, I can still fit into the same swimming trunks I wore 1500 years ago!

Kimiko:
[giggles] You mean your old toga?

Omi:
Dojo, are you alright?

Dojo:
[Annoyed] I'm sitting in a pot of soup, what do you think?!

Wuya:
What are you doing!?

Jack:
Do you have to sneak up on me all the time?

Wuya:
Would you prefer I did this?! [she flies through Jack's face]

Jack:
Whatever you do, PLEASE? Don't do that.

Wuya:
You're here looking for Chase Young.

Jack:
Could it be that one certain disembodied floating headed is getting...jealous?

Wuya:
Don't be ridiculous! [laughs] What's so special about Chase Young anyway?

Jack:
He's only the world's most skill master of Tai Chi. You know that's how you get to be a best. Hanging with the best.

Master Fung:
For centuries, the mischievous spirit Sibini was trapped inside the Mosaic Scale.

Dojo:
Come on, kid, we gotta burn rubber! The Monarch Wings has revealed itself.

Master Fung:
Most disturbing. They have taken the Mosaic Scale. It is most unpredicatable Shen Gong Wu that can be used to create mischief.

Raimundo:
Hey, Omi, everything cool?

Omi:
Yes, Raimundo. I believe everything is the correct temperature.

Raimundo:
I can't believe something that small could put up such a big fight!

Omi:
[grabbing Raimundo's shirt] What! I am not that small!

Kimiko:
I think he was talking about Sibini.

Omi:
Oh, yes! He is very small.

Dojo:
Hey, gang, got a live one incoming. It's the Shen Gong Wu called the Lunar Locket. Whoever possesses it, can control the phases of the moon.

Jack:
[playing with the Lunar Locket Wu] Look at me! I'm the ruler of the moon. Watch! Look at it dance. Whoo-hoo! This is so awesome!

Wuya:
Stop playing with the moon, Jack. It isn't a toy.

Jack:
He's wrecking my lair. Do you know how hard it is to come by a decent lair these days?

Kimiko:
Can't stand the heat? Then get off the mountain, tin man.

Omi:
You made your bed, Spicer. Now you'll have to eat it!

Dude-Bot:
Just because we are mortal enemies, does that mean we can't be friends?

Raimundo:
Jake Spicer. Maybe we can warmed up by having a good ol' fashion butt kicking contest!

Jack Spicer:
[nervously smiled] Hey,..guys, I..I know what you're thinking.

Kimiko:
You couldn't possibly! Are you being screaming of little girl of screaming of yours!

Jack:
I ask for knife-throwing lessons, mom sends me figure-skating. "You never know when it'll come in handy!" Now I feel kinda a bad for making a robot out of her juicer.

Dojo:
That Spicer kid sure has nice form.

Clay:
Whoo! Look there, a triple Salchow! [The others stare at him] What? Cowboys can't like figure-skating?

Raimundo:
Come on, Omi. Just because you're built like a hockey puck doesn't mean you have to skate like one!

Jack Spicer:
I'm an artiste, I communicate with my feet.

Wuya:
If I had feet I'd communicate all over you.

Omi:
How did she know about the vault?

Clay:
Um, I may have mentioned it to her, but she said she never saw one before. But wasn't a monk there guarding it?

Kimiko:
She, uh, kind of got me to convince one of the boys to hand scrub all the bathrooms.

Raimundo:
She had me fill the Armadillo with sea-water. I figured it was just a rebel prank.

Omi:
Now it all makes sense! Dyris wanted to know what Shen Gong Wu would have the power to create giant volcanoes to melt the polar ice caps and flood the world. [Kimiko, Raimundo, Clay, Dojo, and Klowfange glares at him] I assumed it was idol chat-chit.

Klowfange:
Hmm...you sure you lot are the good guys?

Kimiko:
Did you get the Black Beetle?

Omi:
Does it look like I got the Black Beetle?!

Raimundo:
No, it looks like you lost the Gills of Hamachi.

Dyris:
I can't believe you keep falling for that!

Omi:
Where are the Shen Gong Wu?! [The Black Beetle Wu appears out of the water] The Black Beetle!

[Omi and Dyris touch the Black Beetle Wu at the same time, starting a Xiaolin Showdown]

Dyris:
[pops out of the water] Back away, it's mine!

Omi:
No. It is a Xiaolin Showdown!

Dyris:
I'll wager my Fist of Tebigong against your Gills of Hamachi.

Omi:
The game is Steal the Wu. Whoever takes the other's Wu first wins. And we play it on dry land!

Klowfange:
You fool! You CAN'T let her out of the water! When on dry land, she turns to her true monstrous form!

Omi:
How bad can she be? [turns around, seeing Dyris transformed into her true form] Oh. That bad. [sighs] Let's go. Xiaolin Showdown!

Clay:
[After setting Raimundo on fire] I'm sorry, Rai, I couldn't help it. I smell my favourite meal and I-

Kimiko:
EVERY meal is your favourite meal, Clay!

Raimundo:
I can't believe your first loyalty is to a pork chop!

[The group are tied to the ceiling upside down]

Jessie:
Well it looks like our uninvited guests have decided on an extended stay in the HOSPITALITY suite.

Omi:
Why, thank you! That sounds most inviting! Where do we go?

Raimundo:
Omi, we're already in the hospitality suite.

Omi:
Oh. I see. Perhaps I am misunderstanding the meaning of hospitality.

Kimiko:
Or the meaning of sarcasm.

Omi:
Oh, darn this sarcasm! It always seems to grab my goat!

Jack:
Yes! I get this makes me queen!

[Everyone in the room looks at him oddly; a girl laughs]

Jack:
...King.

Omi:
[sighs] This is the most disappointing event turning since the last...

Raimundo:
Is it possible you're going for TURN OF EVENTS?

Omi:
Very clever, using the Changing Chopsticks to shrink down our Wu and hide them in the cactus.

[Clay and Jessie rush over and touch the bag of Wu at the same time]

Jessie:
Looks like if you want your rewards, you and me are gonna have a Xiaolin Showdown.

Clay:
I accept. Your Silk Spitter against my Changing Chopsticks.

Jessie:
The game is Demolition Viper Bike Derby! First to make it out in one piece, wins.

Clay:
Let's just get this over with. Let's go. Xiaolin Showdown!

[Jack has copied himself with the Ring of Nine Dragons]

Old-looking Jack:
Foul!

Jack and Fat Jack:
I didn't touch you!

Fat Jack:
Did not... [they start fighting, old Jack also fights]

Wuya:
Stop! The Ring of Nine Dragons is for creating evil, not for copying yourself for your own amusement, or picking your teeth! [While big headed Jack does so]

Kimiko:
Omi, what happened?

Omi:
I am afraid, uh… Mala Mala Jong has come to life.

Raimundo:
I can't believe we got here too late.

Clay:
Oh, man, I feel more embarrassed than a mule at the Kentucky Derby.

[Back at the Xiaolin Temple...]

Master Fung:
According to the scroll, the rise of Mala Mala Jong will allow a new Shen Gong Wu to be revealed. It is called the Emperor Scorpion. Whoever possesses it will have control over all Shen Gong Wu. If we can find it, we can use it to break Mala Mala Jong apart before it turns into the Fearsome Four.

Raimundo:
Excellent! Great ending and not too long. Dragged a little in the middle though.

Kimiko:
Don't get too excited, Raimundo. Here comes the bad part.

Master Fung:
If the Emperor Scorpion falls into the wrong hands, the Fearsome Four will be unstoppable. This will be our only chance to save the world from certain destruction.

Raimundo:
Why does there always have to be a bad part?

Raimundo:
The Fearsome Four sound like they could use some anger management.

Kimiko:
I can't believe how badly we messed up.

Raimundo:
Now that Spicer is in control of the Fearsome Four there's no stopping him.

Clay:
Yeah. It's not everyday a fella is responsible for the end of the world.

Omi:
No! Stop! When Mala Mala first came together I could've called for your help. It is my fault. But I...ah choose to do it alone. I may have forgotten to mention that before.

Raimundo:
It dosen't matter now...woah!

[Omi, Raimundo, Kimiko, and Clay are off the ball and they're falling on a ground]

Master Fung:
Working together is more then just fighting together. It is knowing how to use each other's strengths wisely.

Raimundo:
Hey, could somebody please translate.

Clay:
Well, I reckon Master Fung is speaking of our elements.

Kimiko:
In other words, we should focus on what we do best.

Dojo:
Cheer up, kiddo. You'll get another chance to save the world.

[After falling on ground while trying to stop Star Hanabi]

Raimundo:
Dojo, dude, how come you didn't just fly?

Dojo:
[With Clay's pants on head] Good idea. Just a little late.

Jack:
Hello, Xiaolin losers! Ready to admit defeat?

Omi:
Never! I will defeat you and the Fearsome Four!

Jack:
[mimicking Omi] "I will defeat you and the Fearsome Four." [gets in Omi's face] Dude, get over yourself!

Jack:
Fearsome Four! I command you to… [thinks] laugh evilly! [they laugh] Now laugh evilly while… hopping on one leg! [they do so]

Wuya:
Stop playing, Jack!

Jack:
In a minute. Now, laugh evilly while… TAP DANCING! [the Fearsome Four dance and laugh as music plays in the background]

Kimiko:
Omi, look! Over there. It's the Tohomiko Electronics skyscraper!

Omi:
Tohomiko? That sounds most familiar to my ears.

Kimiko:
Hello? That's my last name.

Omi:
Oh? I never thought of you with a last name.

Kimiko:
And that's my Papa's building.

Clay:
[In amazement] Your daddy is Toshiro Tohomiko the video game tycoon?!

Kimiko:
Yeah, I can't wait to introduce you all to him, he's super cool!

Raimundo:
And super rich! [His eyes turn into dollar symbols. To Kimiko] Did I ever tell you that you are my favorite monk?

Omi:
[gigantic sad face] I thought I was your favorite...

Omi:
These workers appear most focused on their work. And their eyes- they have the same 'nobody is home' look as Raimudo when he does his chores.

Raimundo:
[offended] Yeah, well... you're short and you have a big head.

[Jack is asleep]

Wuya:
Jack, fire the laser! Jack!

Jack:
[He wakes up, screaming] Wuya! With you it's hard to tell if I'm coming out of a nightmare or going into one!

Wuya:
Just shut up and fire the laser.

Kimiko:
Poor Rai. We've got to find him. Just so I can give him a piece of my mind!

Master Fung:
We must not be too hard on Raimundo. It is the Shen Gong Wu that is controlling him.

Omi:
Yes, but if he had not used the Golden Tiger Claws in the first place, we would not be down the lake with no paddles!

Dojo:
Hey, kids! Special news bulletin! I did a little recon over Brazil and it turns out there WAS a lava flow. If it wasn't for a certain hero we all know, one village would be toast!

Kimiko:
So, Raimundo was telling the truth? That's a first.

Omi:
Remember, "Ugly is one skin deep". Dojo is a hideous, fire-breathing dragon, but we look past that!

Dojo:
Ouch. Innocent dragon caught in the diss fest.

Jack:
Um, once you become Raimundo, are you a he or a she? I just wanna get my pronouns straight!

Wuya:
[During a Xiaolin Showdown] Shroud of Shadows!

Kimiko:
Hey! That's cheating! That wasn't one of the Shen Gong Wu wagered!

Wuya:
You're fighting evil. What do you expect?

Jack:
Hey, usually I'm the one who messes up a Xiaolin Showdown. Looks like the shoe's on a different foot...if you had a foot. [chuckles, Wuya gets angry as she flies through his face, creeping him out]

Omi:
We will always listen to you...no matter how stupid your excuse may be.

Monkey:
Mind turning down the volume? Some of us are trying to get a little shuteye.

Omi:
[Using the Tongue of Saiping] In the middle of the day? You are a very lazy animal!

Rabbit:
Huh, what a mouth on someone so small.

Omi:
I am not small, I am compact!

Bird:
Yeah, anymore 'compact' and we'd need a microscope to find you!

Master Fung:
The Fountain of Hui has just revealed itself. When activated, it provides unlimited knowledge.

Kimiko:
Sounds like a pretty handy Wu if you're doing a crossword puzzle.

Master Fung:
I'm afraid by itself, it can only provide random information. But, when combined its sister Shen Gong Wu the Eagle Scope, the two can be used to unlock the greatest secrets of the universe.

Omi:
You mean like why baboons have such colorful buttocks?

Master Fung:
Yes, and even greater secrets.

Chase Young:
Tongue of Saiping! Monkeys of the jungle, I summon your presence!

Omi:
Now I understand! Jack is only a mere puppy!

Raimundo:
...Puppet, I'm guessing.

Vlad:
I hear Wuya dump you, again.

Jack Spicer:
[Imitating Vlad] "I jear Wuya dump you!" Nobody hears Wuya dump me, because I dump Wuya.

Vlad:
That is not what they say on Internet!

Jack Spicer:
[Excitedly] I'm on the Internet?

Vlad:
Da, in warrior chat rooms everywhere! You big laughing stock! Now when person loses everything, new hip thing to say is 'Aw, I got Jacked!' [Laughs evilly]

Kimiko:
It's Spicer, he took the seed!

Clay:
And the hotdogs! Come back here with them doggies you no good, low down snake, you yellow bellied, dirty little side winder. I'm gonna get you!

Vlad:
What you know about Heylin Seed?

Jack Spicer:
I read something about it in Evil Seeds and Gardens. Why?

Raimundo:
I bet he writes those on the palm of his hand. [Kimiko snickers]

Master Fung:
No Raimundo, I write them inside my eyelids. That is why I blink often. [Blinks rapidly]

Dojo:
[Pops out of Raimundo's shirt] B-U-S-T-E-D. Ooooohhhh! [Shudders]

Raimundo:
Whoo! C'est la vie, Salad-Breath!

Chase Young:
You have learned well, Omi.

Omi:
Well, I WAS taught by the best!

Chase Young:
Thank you.

Omi:
I was speaking of Master Fung!

Jack Spicer:
H-hey, hey! H-how'd you get all the way over here when...I...left you...over there?

Clay:
How do you manage to win every game?

Omi:
That is most simple: I cheat. [they all look at him] No, no, I am a betrayer when I say I cheat.

Raimundo:
How do we know that you're not betraying us now, Omi?

Omi:
[seriously] Because, Raimundo, you are all my friends, and I could never betray my friends. [Laughs, knocking his head at the table] Ha ha ha, I have mastered deception! Let's play again!

Katnappé:
Four monks down and one whiny geek to go.

Jack:
I'M NOT WHINY!

Katnappé:
Woozy Shooter!

Jack:
Reversing Mirror!

Omi:
I knew you would twice-cross me! So I twice-crossed you first!

Raimundo:
That's double-crossed, but I think we get the idea.

Omi:
Oh, thank you, Master Fung. I promise I will not let you up.

Master Fung:
Down.

Omi:
In every direction.

Jermaine:
[After Jack gets the Manchurian Musca] Yo, Omi, you must be trippin'.

Omi:
I am not taking a trip!

Jermaine:
Your hotdogging cost us a Shen Gong Wu!

Omi:
Are you saying it is BECAUSE OF ME?!

Jermaine:
I'm saying, some poser may need a refresher course on how to be a Xiaolin warrior.

Omi:
A refresher course!? I should be TEACHING the refresher course!

Jermaine:
Man, you got an ego bigger than that dome of yours.

Omi:
Nothing is bigger than my dome! And I thank you to leave my dome OUT OF IT!

Jermaine:
Can you believe this guy man?

Dojo:
Hey, there are three things I've learned not to talk about. Religion, politics and Omi's head.

Dojo:
No winner!? What a rip-off! You wouldn't see this in the old days!

Dojo:
Boys and girls, let me tell you a story about these two dragon buddies. Always seen together, like peas and carrots.

Raimundo:
Is this story gonna be long or short?

Dojo:
It'll take as long as it takes!

Clay and Kimiko:
Long story.

Dojo:
One day, they have this spot. Angry wicked words were exchanged. Words? That could never taking back. And when it was old...these two friends...would never...speak..again. [sobs] It's funny. But I know even remember what the fight was about. [pause] Oh, wait. Now I remember. Chuck wanted to borrow my yo-yo. My favorite yo-yo. The treasure family yo-yo! I politely told Chuck know. But didn't live it that. NO! He snacked to my room and too many away! And then...he lost it. LOST IT! Well, they played dumb. Never set a word. Until one night I caught a talking asleep! The only time that scoundrel couldn't tell them truth! And he's gone. GOOD RIDDANCE TO YO-YO THIEF! [spits on Clay's dinner]

Clay:
Dojo, why'd you spittin' my food?

Dojo:
Oh. Sorry.

Omi:
I order you to spill your internal organs right now!

Jack:
[screamed] What kind of sick people are you!?

Raimundo:
I think he means spill your guts.

Jack:
Hey, I want my stuff back.

Tubbimura:
No, I will keep everything.

Jack:
Think again, bubba. I press enter and doggy breath is a UFM. Unidentified flying Muffinface!

Tubbimura:
No! Not my Muffinface! Ok, ok, I will return your stuff.

Jack:
Worm-Bots, get your worm-butts back in line!

Master Fung:
[As the temple collapses] Remember, the fate of the world rests with you!

Raimundo:
Is it me or does the fate of the world rest with us a lot?

Jack:
What do you think the spiders want with us?

Raimundo:
Dude, we're in their web. Take a guess.

Jack:
[Understanding] I DON'T WANT A SPIDER TO EAT ME!

Clay:
Chill, evil partner! Spiders don't eat people! They desiccate you, suck out all your fluids until nothing is left. [Clay dried up and the others staring at him] What? Can't a cowboy have a hobby?

Jack:
I don't want to be...what he said!

Omi:
Hurry, everyone! Take my hand!

Jack:
I have a better idea! I'll take the Golden Tiger Claws!

Kimiko:
Jack, you jerk!

Jack:
Too late, Xiaolin has-been!

Clay:
Get a move on! They're gaining on us!

Dojo:
I tell you. You should a seen me in action. Those spiders will think twice before messing with this dragon, again! Bada bing. [chuckles] AAAAHHHHHH!

Raimundo:
[Laughs] Dojo, you should a seen yourself!

Kimiko:
Rai, that wasn't very nice.

Raimundo:
[scoffs] How can anyone be so afraid of a spider?

[A spider sits on Raimundo's shoulder. Raimundo screams, and hides behind baskets. Kimiko & Dojo laugh]

Dojo:
What a pansy!

Omi:
Tongue of Saiping! Thank you for your assistance, my small friend. [he gives a high-five on a spider]

Dojo:
We got a category 5 Wu alert. The Ying Yo-Yo just revealed itself.

Master Fung:
The Ying Yo-Yo is one of the lesser-known. Shen Gong Wu. It acts as a portal to the Ying-Yang World- a parallel universe with laws of its own. One must remain cautious. Its powers are not fully understood.

Kimiko:
I was hoping we'd all rise together.

Omi:
[Looking sad] Aw, me too. [Then looking happy] That is why I will work extra hard teaching you until that day comes when you too are ready to become Wudai Warriors.

Clay:
Whoa, partner, and what makes you so sure YOU'RE the chosen one?

Omi:
[Laughing] Is it not obvious? Who else is it going to be? Raimundo?

[Raimundo's head turns red and inflates while his hair starts to burn. Clay removes his hat, revealing a glass of water and he pours it on Raimundo's head. Raimundo gives Clay a thumbs-up.]

Omi:
I am sorry. I was not laughing at you but with you.

Raimundo:
I'm not laughing.

Kimiko:
Here's a wild thought. Maybe it's me.

Omi:
But you are a girl. [The others gasp] AAAAH!

[Chaos ensues, ending with Omi beaten up on the floor]

Raimundo:
[Wincing] Nyah...

Kimiko:
And your point?

Omi:
Nothing, I like girls. [He passes out]

Omi:
Jack Spicer! I order you to surrender at once!

Jack Spicer:
Aw, of course I will surrender...BOBBLEHEAD!

Dojo:
Very interesting... it says here that Alexander The Great had seven toes on one foot and three on the other.

Raimundo:
What about Omi?

Dojo:
Well, I'm pretty sure he has five on each. But I've never taken a closer look.

Dojo:
It maybe be time use our secret weapon: The Sweet Baby Among Us!

Heylin Omi:
If only I did not have to sleep! Then I could fight 24/7!

Omi:
Kimiko, Raimundo, Clay, I was ready to humiliate you in battle, but I have no idea why.

Kimiko:
It’s OK, Omi. It’s just good to have you back.

Jack:
Omi, I missed you so.

Omi:
OK, now I am most confused.

Dojo:
Jack brought the Reversing Mirror into the Ying Yang World. Instead of coming out whole, he must have left behind all of his evil.

Chase Young:
I hate to interrupt such a nauseating moment, but we have some serious evil left on the agenda.

Clay:
You have got no hold on Omi. He’s got his Chi back, and you ain’t getting your grubby hands on it.

Chase Young:
Omi swore his loyalty to me.

Kimiko:
He wasn’t himself back then.

Raimundo:
Omi is going nowhere. Except back home with us.

Chase Young (Reptile form):
Heylin Memory Recall!

Omi:
[In recall] I do swear my loyalty to you. [End of recall] Wait. Chase Young is right. As a Xiaolin Monk, I am bound by my word.

[Kimiko, Clay, Raimundo, and Jack gasped]

Omi:
I have no choice but to stay.