[Pavel Chekov is being interrogated by an FBI agent]
FBI Agent:
"Commander Pavel Chekov, Starfleet, United Federation of Planets." Alright Commander, is there anything that you want to tell us?
Chekov:
Like what?
FBI Agent:
Like who you really are, and what you're doing here, and what these–these things are.
Chekov:
I am Pavel Chekov, a commander in Starfleet, United Federation of Planets. Service number 656-5827B.
FBI Agent:
Alright, let's take it from the top.
Chekov:
The top of what?
FBI Agent:
Name.
Chekov:
My name?
FBI Agent:
[sarcastically] No, my name!
Chekov:
I do not know your name!
FBI Agent:
You play games with me mister, and you're through!
Chekov:
I am? May I go now?
FBI Agent:
[leans over and whispers to a colleague] What do you think?
Agent:
He's a Russkie.
FBI Agent:
That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life, of course he's a Russkie, but he's a retard or something.
Agent:
We better call Washington.
Chekov:
[rises from his chair, grabs the Klingon phaser from the table and points it at the agents] Don't move.
FBI Agent:
Okay, make nice: give us the ray gun.
Chekov:
I warn you: if you don't lie on the floor I will have to stun you.
FBI Agent:
Go ahead: stun me.
Chekov:
I'm very sorry, but— [tries to fire the phaser but it malfunctions; he looks at it and chuckles] Must be the radiation. [tosses the phaser to the FBI Agent, turns and runs away]
