Greek

Cappie:
It's bros and Cheesoritos before hos.

Dale:
Gay. Homosexual. You know, I can work with that.

Calvin Owens:
You can?

Dale:
Oh yeah, an intensive prayer and vitamin regimen can cure that.

The Beaver:
You're my favorite lady I've never had sex with, Casey.

The Beaver:
I can't help it if "I'm going to be late" sounds like "I'm going to masturbate".

Casey Cartwright:
Why are Cappie and Evan still fighting? Can't they just put their dumb male egos aside and... I mean, do you think that they can ever be friends again?

The Beaver:
Nope.

Casey Cartwright:
Look, I know that all you KT's hate Evan.

The Beaver:
They can't ever be friends because of you.

Casey Cartwright:
This is just so much more complicated than that.

The Beaver:
No, it's not. They both fell for the same girl. Everything that's happened comes from that.

Casey Cartwright:
No, no, there's also Evan's money that's always come between them.

The Beaver:
Evan doesn't have any money anymore.

Casey Cartwright:
And the prank that got Wade and all the other KT's kicked out.

The Beaver:
Bing only did that after he found out you and Cappie got back together. [pause] Are you sure you're in law school because this is some pretty basic stuff.

Casey Cartwright:
But why is it still going on now? I'm not with Cappie or Evan anymore. It's over.

The Beaver:
It's never over, Case. That's pretty basic, too.

Casey Cartwright:
[pause] You're a lot smarter than people know, Beav.

Katherine:
That slow gin fizz did not live up to its name, it went to my head *very* quickly!

The Beaver:
I am the star of my own life. I deserve to be center stage.

The Beaver:
Maybe I've been there all along but you never noticed.

Ashleigh Howard:
So Casey broke up with Max.

Cappie:
I see.

Ashleigh Howard:
Because of you... And she's going to break up with the next guy because of you, and the guy after that. She's going to keep doing it. Because for some odd reason you're the one she's supposed to be with.

The Beaver:
Okay everybody it's almost midnight. Let the countdown to the end of the world begin.

Crowd:
9... 8... 7...

Ashleigh Howard:
It's the end of the world Cappie. What are you going to do?

Crowd:
5... 4... 3... 2... 1!

Casey Cartwright:
Just wait something happened. I almost died, because of that manhole... and it's a funny word... but almost dying in that manhole made me realize that i could die at any time. I could slip in the shower and... I've been waiting all this time... to feel the way with max that I've always felt with you. But if it's the end of the world, then I want to be with you.

Cappie:
Casey, Max is a great guy.

Casey Cartwright:
I know that's what makes this so hard i don't want to hurt him

Cappie:
Then don't. Don't ruin things with max because of some fleeting thought.

Casey Cartwright:
This isn't some fleeting thought. This is what I really feel. I finally have some clarity

Cappie:
You think its clarity, but it's not. It's a post-traumatic stress reaction and it'll wear off. And you'll regret coming to see me tonight

Casey Cartwright:
No, I won't.

Cappie:
You'll remember that I'm a childish, lazy, unreliable, unpredictable, unambitious frat guy who let you down before. And that's why we didn't work.

Casey Cartwright:
You don't even want to try?

Cappie:
The world isn't going to end tonight, okay?

Ashleigh Howard:
So, Casey broke up with Max...

Cappie:
I see.

Ashleigh Howard:
Because of you. And she's going to break up with the next guy because of you. And the guy after that. And she's going to keep doing it because for some odd reason, you're the one she's supposed to be with.

The Beaver:
Okay everybody, it's almost midnight let the countdown to the end of the world begin!

Crowd:
Ten, nine, eight...

Ashleigh Howard:
Its thee end of the world Cappie, what are you going to do?

Crowd:
Four, three, two, one...

Max Tyler:
Has he been hitting on you this whole time I've been gone? Did something happen?

Casey Cartwright:
No, nothing happened between us. Not really.

Max Tyler:
I mean, who the hell does he think he is? It's like You know what? That guy's charm is gonna wear thin one day. He can't just coast through life forever.

Casey Cartwright:
He just believes in letting things figure themselves out. He calls it karmic synergy.

Max Tyler:
- OK he can call it whatever he wants.

Casey Cartwright:
- And it kind of works. And He's not stupid enough to think he can do this for the rest of his life. He's just going to do this for as long as he can. Because he loves it. He loves all these guys. And he's a lot smarter than people know.

Max Tyler:
Why are you defending him right now? Do you still have feelings for him?

Casey Cartwright:
Nothing is going to happen between Cappie and me.

Max Tyler:
All right.

Casey Cartwright:
But I don't think anything is going to happen between us either, Max.

Max Tyler:
What? You said while I was away you had a chance to catch up.

Casey Cartwright:
I felt that way when I said it.

Max Tyler:
And But now I'm not so sure.

Casey Cartwright:
And I can't keep bouncing around like this. It's not fair to anyone. Least of all you.

Max Tyler:
What happened?

Casey Cartwright:
You're the perfect guy, Max. You're just not perfect for me.

Ashleigh Howard:
Did you talk to Cappie?

Casey Cartwright:
Yeah, I Yeah, I did. I broke up with Max.

Ashleigh Howard:
Wait

Casey Cartwright:
Cappie doesn't want to be with me, and who can blame him? But I can't be with Max knowing I really want to be with Cappie. So that leaves me with Me. And I'm I'm taking me home.

Ashleigh Howard:
- OK, I'll go with you.

Casey Cartwright:
- No no, you stay here, have fun. I could use some alone time.

Cappie:
If you want to avoid disappointment, try lowering your expectations.

Casey Cartwright:
Please wait, I love you!

Evan:
NO! YOU LOVE YOU!

[a ZBZ sister brings Tegan a glass of tap water]

Tegan Walker:
Oh, no. It must be flat, French, and in a bottle.

Dale:
You can look at this: your people made the front page.

Cappie:
Your honor, I object!

Dean Bowman:
To?

Cappie:
Well, jean shorts. Dane Cook, highly objectionable.

Casey Cartwright:
I know it looks bad...

Tegan Walker:
Bad? Your ensemble looks bad. This is a disaster.

Casey Cartwright:
[about Frannie] She is delusional! Like Britney Spears in a barber shop!

Rusty Cartwright:
[after finding out Jen K wrote the article] Is Jen K really your name? Do you have an accent? I always thought you might have an accent.

Evan:
The Dean is so close to shutting us down and you're mouthing!

Cappie:
Would you quit your bellyaching Evelyn? Your parties are so lame anyway, what do you have to lose?

Jen K:
I was hoping you wanted this picture so you wouldn't forget me

Rusty Cartwright:
Forget you, I can barely remember anything before you

April:
I don't know. Some things just stop working. The funny thing is, as soon as we accepted it was going to be over, the fighting stopped. The pressure was off.

Casey Cartwright:
But you guys seem to really love each other.

April:
Isn't that worth fighting for? Not all relationships are meant to last forever, even when you're in love. Some love stories are short stories. But they are love stories all the same.

Ashleigh Howard:
What happened? Are you OK?

Rusty Cartwright:
Yeah. Evan's a jerk, but he stopped me from making a mistake.

Ashleigh Howard:
What do you mean?

Rusty Cartwright:
I looked into her eyes, like you said. I realized that I wanted a girl who spits her gum out accidentally, and wears a maxi-pad around her knee, and bakes really good maple bars just to make me feel cozy. A girl who that enough confidence to turn me down flat when I was dumb enough to overlook her.

Ashleigh Howard:
That doesn't even sound like a real person.

Rusty Cartwright:
It is. Katherine and I are a lot alike, that's true. But Dana gives me something more. She inspires me. She's proud of who she is. That's who I want to be. That's who I want to be with.

Ashleigh Howard:
Oh, Rusty! Is that from Adventures in Babysitting? It's not from anything.

Rusty Cartwright:
That's how I feel. But I already left Dana a message breaking our date. So it's too late.

Ashleigh Howard:
Maybe not yet. - I have one more movie idea. Come on!

Ashleigh Howard:
So, how are things with Cappie?

Casey Cartwright:
Well, we're not fighting anymore.

Ashleigh Howard:
Oh, great.

Casey Cartwright:
This whole time I've been trying so hard to get him to wake up and face reality. But really, it was me who needed to face reality.

Ashleigh Howard:
What do you mean?

Casey Cartwright:
Cappie and I aren't built to last, Ash. We work here, in college. And I don't think we'll work anywhere else.

Ashleigh Howard:
No. You can make it work. There's... there's gotta be like, a movie, or something. Why did I put all my DVDs away? Where's St. Elmo's Fire?

Ashleigh Howard:
No, it's OK. t's OK, Ash. Um I'm OK with it. Cappie and I aren't a movie. We're a short story. But a really good one.

Ashleigh Howard:
I'm sorry, Case.

Casey Cartwright:
I just don't get why someone as smart and amazing as Cappie would want to stay in college forever. I mean I understand wanting to party and screw around for a while. I've done plenty of that myself. But I can't help but wonder if maybe you weren't right, Ash. What if we are too different? And what if we're not going to last forever? No matter how much we try or how much we love each other.

Ashleigh Howard:
I don't want to be right about that, so you need to address this with Cappie, head-on.

Casey Cartwright:
OK, well, how do I address someone who says he might never want to leave college? He can't possibly mean that. That'd just be crazy, right?

Ashleigh Howard:
Would it? I mean, it's Cappie we're talking about here, and he definitely has his own way of doing things. And, didn't you kind of already know that when you got back together? So why are you trying to change him now?

Casey Cartwright:
You're right.I know. I love Cappie, and I don't want to change him. But if we're on completely different paths and he stays here forever we're never going to work, which scares the crap out of me.

Ashleigh Howard:
Then you need to make him understand that.

Casey Cartwright:
I always thought the hard part would be finding the right guy; but it turns out its not finding the guy that's hard, it staying on the same page with him. And right now, I feel like we're in different chapters.

Rusty Cartwright:
Well it's better than me and Jordan because right now we're in different books. And someone else is reading her book. Or her books in someone else's library... maybe...

Casey Cartwright:
Rusty!

Rusty Cartwright:
You know if you think about it, nothing happened this morning. Sure, something almost did, but it didn't, and you cannot feel guilty over almost.

Jordan Reed:
And I finally have my answer.

Rusty Cartwright:
For what?

Jordan Reed:
Whether or not it's worth risking eternal happiness in heaven for fleeting happiness on earth.

Casey Cartwright:
But Max, that's not fair!

Max Tyler:
It's not fair we started in different places? What would be unfair is if I expected you to be where I am now. Casey, I lost a girl once in my life. And I vowed that if i ever felt that way about someone again that I wouldn't take that lightly. I wouldn't lose them. I didn't want to lose you.

Casey Cartwright:
But were supped to be a couple, which means were supposed to be on the same page, meet in the middle, travel together down a shared path. And you're so far ahead of me, I don't even see you anymore.

Frannie:
[after finding out she can't go pre-med] But what about my dream of becoming a gorgeous but troubled intern in a hospital full of other gorgeous interns, discussing my love life while performing complex surgery, and hating my mother?

Cappie:
[when asked what he associates with the sound of a baby crying] Evan Chambers losing his allowance.

Jen K:
[about Dale] I know he has some issues...

Rusty Cartwright:
Some issues? He cancelled our cable after accidentally watching three minutes of a Dawson's Creek rerun.

Cappie:
Weekend with the senator's daughter...sounds kinky.

The Beaver:
I heard about the honors engineering floor, but I thought it was a joke.

Cappie:
Oh i know that feeling well, its torture, watching the girl of your dreams on the arm of some other guy.

Max Tyler:
Casey told me you two used to date.

Evan Chambers:
That's right.

Max Tyler:
Well, I gotta ask, how on Earth could you ever let her go?

Frannie:
Isn't Casey doing a great job?

Rebecca Logan:
Beats our last president.

Cappie:
Ok, so there's this all Greek ball this weekend... but we're not going.

Rusty Cartwright:
Yeah! No. Why aren't we going?

Cappie:
Listen to the name, Spitter. It's a ball, like a testicle. I don't wanna go to a testicle.

Heath:
[referring to the crank generator] So do you know how to work this thingy? I was kinda wondering when the cell service will be back.

Heath:
[Rusty cranks on it] Cool! It's like magic!

Rusty Cartwright:
Actually it's a simple crank generator that turns friction into electricity.

Heath:
Or magic!

Casey Cartwright:
How's the head wound?

Jen K:
I'm not showing any signs of a concussion so I should be ok.

Casey Cartwright:
Are you pre-med?

Jen K:
No, just clumsy.

Rusty Cartwright:
Beaver, the bathroom is that way!

The Beaver:
[Rusty points down the hall, away from Cappie's room] Man, why do they keep moving it?!

Rebecca Logan:
Spirit! Tell us who you are!

Casey Cartwright:
[the Ouija board spells out virgin] Virgin, I stand corrected, it's not Rebecca.

Rusty Cartwright:
[to Cappie] Hey, why the long face? This party's got your three favorite things. Beer, girls, and severe weather warnings!

Cappie:
She wasn't crazy, she was in love; there's a fine line between the two.

The Beaver:
[crickets are in the KT house] I hate crickets! Ever since Pinocchio. They're too bossy.

Evan Chambers:
Am I getting fired?

Cappie:
The opposite, actually. Let's think of this as... bringing another member into our team. Hm, she'll be working directly under me...

Evan Chambers:
When it comes down to choosing your friends or your brothers, you have to choose your brothers.

Cappie:
Yeah you've made your choice pretty clear.

Evan Chambers:
Wait, listen,listen, you have the perfect girl, guys who worship you. My house is all I have left.

Evan Chambers:
Well you're right about that.

Cappie:
Oh and if I were you I'd go out through the back gate.

Casey Cartwright:
Katherine?

Katherine Parker:
Hm? Oh, um, I'm so sorry, Casey.

Casey Cartwright:
I'm just a little distracted this morning with a personal dilemma. You see, I've taken a lover.

Katherine Parker:
I'm just a little distracted this morning with a personal dilemma.

Casey Cartwright:
- My, how classy.

Katherine Parker:
I've read enough Victorian literature to know that I cannot afford to be careless or the next thing you know I'll be out on the street begging for tuppence to feed my bastard love child.

Casey Cartwright:
So you and your stable boy need birth control?

Katherine Parker:
He's not a stable boy, Casey. In fact, he wants to be a kindergarten teacher.

Casey Cartwright:
Wait. Beaver?

Katherine Parker:
His given name is Walter, but yes. We made a connection during our night in Rio. But do not worry, we have been using condoms.

Casey Cartwright:
- Yay!

Katherine Parker:
- So many condoms.

Casey Cartwright:
The thing is, I would prefer to have a second layer of defense, one that I control.

Pharmacist:
Now, these pills take three weeks

Katherine Parker:
-To become effective. I've read all the literature online, I feel well-versed in the side effects. Thank you.

Pharmacist:
Wow. You're very prepared.

Katherine Parker:
Well, I'm also not an idiot. Like Whitney Houston, I believe that children are the future. It's just a far distant future after I've made partner. Am I right, Casey?

Casey Cartwright:
Yes, that is the plan. No, and our kids can have play dates.

Katherine Parker:
My God, I think my little Anastasia would love that.

Casey Cartwright:
Oh, my God!

Katherine Parker:
So I'll call you.

Casey Cartwright:
I'll pencil it in.

Katherine Parker:
Yes! Thank you for your help here today.

Casey Cartwright:
I'm gonna have so much fun tonight.

Katherine Parker:
Bye!

Casey Cartwright:
Ooh! Bye!

Cappie:
See, we used to date, and I'm trying to prove to her that I can be responsible.

Hailey Segal:
Oh, look, I get all my drama from One Tree Hill, OK? If you can't help, can you at least point me to the bathroom?

The Beaver:
Now I know I have a heart, 'cause it's broken.

Casey Cartwright:
I kind of like... Max.

Rusty Cartwright:
I should warn him.

Casey Cartwright:
What do you mean?

Rusty Cartwright:
Cause you date like Sherman marched, Casey. With scorched earth, and broken spirits left in your wake.

Casey Cartwright:
So, everything is history and relationships are just memories?

Cappie:
Greetings. Four score and seven years ago our fore fathers who art in Heaven hallowed be their name brought unto this continent Kappa Tau Gamma. Ye though we walk through valley of the shadow of death we fear nothing and neither will you. As tonight you all become men. But not the way you may be thinking we do not have hookers, which isn't to say we didn't try. Regardless you all have been brought here before us to participate in a ceremonial rite of passage it derives from the secrets of our rituals know as Crypteia where a boy is sent out into the wild to live off the land fight for his life while protecting his village if he wasn't devoured by those gnarly looking wolfie things then he returned to the village a man.

Rusty Cartwright:
Isn't that the beginning of 300?

Cappie:
We did it first! You must stay out here all night you can not sleep also the Spartan boys had to wear their battle clothes for 24 hours.

Rusty Cartwright:
They were out there for months

Cappie:
Silence! Oh yeah you guys gotta do some light gardening cause the weeds are getting a little bad back here and to be one with the earth which is something else they did back then. Alright see you guys in the morning when you're men. Be well.

Rusty Cartwright:
What's your major?

Ben Bennett:
Undeclared, I guess. Yours?

Rusty Cartwright:
Polymer Science.

Ben Bennett:
Bummer.

Casey Cartwright:
This is my room. And speaking of things that are mine, I found out you kind of had sex with Evan Chambers.

Rebecca Logan:
I did. Rush night. And it was amazing!

Casey Cartwright:
Ok, please stop talking. Here's the thing, Evan Chambers is my boyfriend.

Rebecca Logan:
Oh my God! How awkward for you.

Casey Cartwright:
[to Rusty after he's been hazed] People can see you! People can see you standing near me!

Rusty Cartwright:
I'm not homeless, I'm in a fraternity.

Cappie:
This is ridiculous. Can we be mature and just say what we're all thinking? [beat] How the hell could they cancel Gilmore Girls?!

Casey Cartwright:
Be realistic, Russ.

Rusty Cartwright:
Be my sister, Case.

Rusty Cartwright:
This is just kinda like ping pong. I was champion five years in a row at the Eagle Scouts.

Cappie:
Wow! You're in the Eagle Scouts...

Dr. Milton Hastings:
Damn frat boys! You almost killed me! What are your names?

Cappie:
We're very sorry, sir.

Dr. Milton Hastings:
What fraternity are you in?

The Beaver:
But sir, we're just -

Dr. Milton Hastings:
Names!

Cappie:
We're the Omega Chis. My name is Evan Chambers. And you're kinda being a pansy about all this.

Casey Cartwright:
Skank-monster pulled a Paris!

Dale:
No! You've ruined my future and my kids future and my grandkids future, you've disrupted the space time Continuum. You, you gotta fix it, you gotta build a time machine right now!

Cappie:
What kind of competition are we talking here? Who's got the most J Crew V-necks, wait, you might have us there.

Cappie:
Tonight, you all become men, but not in the way you might be thinking, we do not have hookers which isn't to say we didn't try.

[first lines]

Katherine:
So, Pan-Hellenic scholarship applications are due at the end of the month. Moving on. [bangs gavel] Tomorrow we start our annual dry weekend. This is a chance for CRU's Greek system to prove it can actually go 48 hours without alcohol.

Dr. Larsen:
'The Anchor', now that's an odd moniker.

Rusty Cartwright:
I come from a long line of seamen. Uh, that came out wrong.

[last lines]

Rusty Cartwright:
Does this mean we're a team?

Dr. Milton Hastings:
I'm already starting to regret it. Go.

Rusty Cartwright:
Right now it's like we're a boy band... and I'm the fat one.

Casey Cartwright:
[serious] It's pronounced fa-tone.

Rusty Cartwright:
These are my pledge brothers. Right now, it's like we're a boy band and I'm the fat one.

Casey Cartwright:
It's pronounced Fatone.

Rebecca Logan:
My answer is yes!

Cappie:
Was the question, wanna get naked?

Calvin:
What is she doing with him? She must like guys with personality.

Dale:
I don't know. He doesn't look that hideous to me.

Calvin:
Oh! So you find him attractive?

Dale:
Well, his got good bone structure.

Calvin:
Wait! It all makes sense!

Dale:
What?

Calvin:
Oh, Dale. Have you ever thought that the reason you're trying to turn me straight is because, deep down inside, you might be gay?

Dale:
That's ridiculous...

Calvin:
Just look at the evidence: you don't have sex with women, you like to knit, you appreciate the male form... and I've seen you run, it's a little bit squishy.

Dale:
I don't like what you're implying!

Dean Bowman:
Nothing teaches us more about who we are than seeing ourselves in the people we least expect.

Casey Cartwright:
So, where to?

Cappie:
Wherever you're going.

Jen K:
I'm Jen K. There are three other Jens in the ZBZ house. Jen R, Jen B, and Jen Y. Funny, huh? Jen Y? Like, Gen Y.

Cappie:
So you just have to avoid doing something embarrassing for 48 hours.

Rusty Cartwright:
I can do that!

Cappie:
Your fly's open.

The Campus Cop:
I need your noise permit for the Vesuvius party.

Cappie:
Are you yankin' me? Since when does that rule get enforced?

The Campus Cop:
Since I was hired.

Cappie:
Oh, okay. I get it. So, uh, Officer Huck. You look like you could use a little break. You wanna come in we'll set you up with a nice cold beer? That's what Officer Bob always did. Where is Good Old Bob anyway?

The Campus Cop:
Rehab.

Cappie:
Oh.

Casey Cartwright:
Oh is it too sexy? Too Angelina-homewrecker, not enough human ambassador?

Gladys:
That's a very jazzy jacket. No one wears madras anymore.

Cappie:
More's the pity! And might I say the same about your lovely sweater; why did they stop putting sequins on wool?

Rusty Cartwright:
I made it rain beer!

Ben Bennett:
So David got stoned with the Philistines, cool!

Dale:
No! No, ok, David smote the Philistine with a stone. Not smoked with the Philistines and got stoned, ok! It's totally different! You go to college?!

Dale:
[after stealing the module] Rusty, I can't go to jail! I have serious food allergies!

Casey Cartwright:
Like Derek, my high school boyfriend. His mom said I was the daughter she never had, and she had a daughter. It was so awkward.

Evan Chambers:
My life has been planed out for me since I was... before I was born. You-you are the first person that has ever made me think if I had to, I'd take a detour, I'd go all the way off the map for you

Jordan Reed:
How about talking to me about tonight?

Rusty Cartwright:
I can't believe that you're really going. I helped you, and I encouraged and supported you, and now... now you're just gonna leave?

Jordan Reed:
I'm sorry

Rusty Cartwright:
Well, I'm sorry too if this is how you get repaid for being a good boyfriend. You do stuff for someone because you love them, then they wake up one morning and then they say so long"

Jordan Reed:
Rusty, you've always known what you wanted to do and that's why I love being with you because you made me feel like one day I'd figure out my thing too. And it's because of you that I'm finally doing what's right for me.

Rusty Cartwright:
Well, excuse me if I'm not all smiley about it.

Jordan Reed:
Neither am I, because the one thing I don't want is for us to end. I don't think we have to. I mean, plenty of people do the whole long distance thing.

Natalie:
I just wanted to apologize. I went too far at the Student Union, and I'm truly, truly sorry. It's just, um The worst thing that ever has happened to me happened on Valentine's Day.

Ashleigh Howard:
Oh, God.

Natalie:
It was so horrible. It was Valentine's Eve. I was nine years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad still wasn't home. So Mom called the office and no answer. So the police began a search...

Ashleigh Howard:
-And four or five days later You tried to light a fire, and you noticed the smell, the firemen came and they pulled out your dead dad. Blah, blah, blah

Pete:
- Ash.

Ashleigh Howard:
- Pete. That story is from Gremlins. The only reason you're telling it is because you are one. So don't feed her after midnight or she'll turn uglier.

Casey Cartwright:
You were so right. It's really hard to buy a gift. And I totally cracked under the pressure. You are off the hook from this day forward.

Cappie:
Well, that's good, because I don't think I could top what I did this year.

Casey Cartwright:
Bringing me to the Quickie Mart?

Cappie:
It's not just any Quickie Mart. You and I came here once freshman year for snacks.

Casey Cartwright:
I thought it looked familiar.

Cappie:
You were buying all this food, and I was wondering if you got high when I wasn't looking. And when I asked you about it, you said: "I want to stock the fridge in your room," because you knew I was lazy about going to the cafeteria, and you didn't want me to go hungry.

Casey Cartwright:
Um Do you want food?

Cappie:
And you were at the register, paying. And you tucked your hair behind your ear, looked back at me and just smiled. Case This is where I first realized that I loved you. And I've loved you every day since.

Casey Cartwright:
Oh, Cap. Oh, my God.

Cappie:
That's my gift.

Casey Cartwright:
Oh, my God. It's perfect.

Rusty Cartwright:
The game's rigged. Old tests, pay tutors for cramming, drugs. College isn't about learning; it's a four year course on how to get buy and beat the system. It's supposed to be the last passion for education a place removed from society where you're inspired, not discouraged. A place where teachers teach and students learn.

Rusty Cartwright:
Casey got lavaliered by Evan.

Casey Cartwright:
Hey, that's supposed to be a secret.

Rusty Cartwright:
Why'd you tell me?

Casey Cartwright:
Good question.

Cappie:
Congrats, Case.

Casey Cartwright:
Thanks.

Cappie:
Your kids will be very... Aryan.

Cappie:
[as Keanu Reeves circa "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure"] Prometheus: a most historic Greek god dude who journeyed on a most excellent quest to bring fire to mankind only to incur the wrath of the odious Zeus who chained the dude on yonder mountaintop while an eagle egregiously scarfed the dude's liver up for, like, infinity. [beat] Yeah, I full-on read Campbell's book.

Casey Cartwright:
Since this morning? That's impossible.

Cappie:
A most bodacious masterpiece with many pages in which I forgoed an afternoon of non-bogus fun.

Cappie:
What's the harm in taking one little bite of an apple?

Rusty Cartwright:
So with almost everyone cheating is it really cheating if you cheat?

Ashleigh:
[about Travis] He's the best thing that's ever happened to me!

Calvin Owens:
So you said. Five times.

Rusty Cartwright:
Dale you gotta be careful drinking all that caffeine.

Dale:
No, my resting heart rate is...145, that's well within' tolerance

Rusty Cartwright:
Yea, for a humming bird!

Cappie:
[to Rusty and Casey] Oh! Look at this! The Cartwright kids! You know, you two should band together and solve mysteries, fight crime! You've got the perfect name for it, there's a sketchy janitor who I think is up to something...

Dale:
Okay, I need drugs. Who's got them? I'm not a narc. I'm just-I'm just a guy in a bind.

Cappie:
[after Rusty tells him that Evan is planning on giving Casey his letters] Congrats Case, your kids will be very Aryan.

Casey Cartwright:
I have plans, goals!

Cappie:
I know, I have them too!

Casey Cartwright:
Really? I know where I want to be in ten years, do you?

Cappie:
I want to be with you...

Cappie:
You know Fun, Ev's? F...U...

Evan:
...N?

Cappie:
Nope...That's It.

Cappie:
Have I walked into a transgendered Cathy comic?

Dale Kettlewell:
ACK

Casey Cartwright:
Hemingway, at Dobblers?

Cappie:
New book club selection, I'm behind. I keep finding myself preoccupied

Casey Cartwright:
We uh, we read that in my freshman lit class. Tragic love story... some would say

Cappie:
Yeah, they just couldn't seem to get the timing right.

Ashleigh Howard:
That's okay, you meant well and I kind of need my best friend back, especially since i just had my heart broken and all

Casey Cartwright:
You don't want me to get fat do you?

Rebecca:
Get?

Casey Cartwright:
Um, I think I want an iced coffee.

Cappie:
Might I recommend a Cappie-cino?

Evan:
Kappa Taus win. On a technicality. Shocker.

Cappie:
Don't worry, we'll beat you gals fair and square.

Evan:
Oh like you've ever beaten us at anything.

Cappie:
One word: Beer pong.

Evan:
You are a joke, do you know that?

The Beaver:
And you're a jerkoff.

Cappie:
No, it's all right Beaver. I mean, if Spitter can take him down with a paddle, I think I can take care of myself.

Evan:
Yeah, well, it's just too bad you couldn't take care of Casey.

Cappie:
Now why would you have to go and bring that...

The Beaver:
He took care of her. All night long during rush.

Cappie:
Down, Beav.

Evan:
I'll see you on the court.

Frannie:
Remember when Cheney shot that man in the face? He went underground for a couple days in a bunker, laid low, and before you know it the guy he shot was apologizing to him! Genius, right?

Cappie:
It's a big game, Spitter. It's bigger than all of us. It's a classic battle between good and Evan.

Frannie:
I just hope I haven't exposed myself to herpes for nothing!

[Heath tackles Calvin in floor hockey]

Calvin:
You can get off me now.

Heath:
Right. Sorry. Call me later?

Cappie:
If he's dead do we win automatically?

Cappie:
Oh, Rusty. If you get the ball go that way. [points]

Rusty Cartwright:
Please don't hit it to me.

Casey Cartwright:
[in the stands] Please don't hit it to him.

Casey Cartwright:
[to Rebecca] Where's Beaver?

Rebecca:
[to Casey] Where's Cappie?

Ashleigh:
[to bartender] Where's my drink?

Roger Owens:
What are you doing here?

Calvin:
Uh, I believe that's my line. I've been in college 4 weeks, are you suffering from invasion of privacy withdrawal?

Casey Cartwright:
[talking about giving drinks to the Kappa Tau's] How are we doing in here?

Ashleigh:
They're on their sixth round of cement mixers.

Casey Cartwright:
Just to be clear, we're trying to slow them down, not kill them.

Ashleigh:
Fine.

Casey Cartwright:
[to Rebecca] Um, I think I wanted iced coffee.

Cappie:
Might I recommend a Cappie-cino?

Cappie:
Can you see those huge guys out there with the sticks?

Rusty Cartwright:
Yea.

Cappie:
Good, cause I can't, which might be a sign of a concussion.

Cappie:
Drunk people don't feel pain. And neither do Scotsmen!

Cappie:
Spitter? Is that you?

Rusty Cartwright:
Yeah, hi! Do you think I can get a chance to play? I'm ready! I've been practicing!

Cappie:
Can you see those huge guys out there with the sticks?

Rusty Cartwright:
Yeah...

Cappie:
Good, 'cause I can't. Which might be a sign of a concussion. Wait... There they are! Be right back!

Rebecca Logan:
Here you go. Try this.

Casey Cartwright:
Um, I think I want an iced coffee.

Cappie:
Might I recommend a "Cappie-cino"?!

The Beaver:
Maybe we should call it Cap.

Cappie:
I'm over here, dude. Maybe we should throw in the towel.

Rusty Cartwright:
No you can't give up! Isn't this game bigger than all of us? Isn't this about kicking ass? Isn't this about good versus Evan?

Cappie:
He's right! You may not be feeling well. Some of you are even still drunk! But I see before me a team of Kappa Tau's, playing in defiance of tyranny. You've come to fight as free men, and free men you are. Will you fight? Ay, fight and you might die. Run and you might live, atleast for a while.

The Beaver:
It hurts real bad, Cap.

Cappie:
Drunk people don't feel pain! And neither do Scotsmen. We may be puking, but the Omega Kai's are not used to running on puke like we are! And Rusty here... Look at him, just a nice kid from Cleveland...

Rusty Cartwright:
Chicago...

Cappie:
And I know that when he's dying in his bed many years from now, he be willing to trade all his days from this day, for one chance...

Rusty Cartwright:
I'm actually fine...

Cappie:
Just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies, that they may take our lives, but they will never be able to take our freedom! Yeah!!

Rusty Cartwright:
Is it necessary to call him 'pledge'?

Cappie:
No, I just can't remember his name.

Dale:
A yankee and a heathen. I'm gonna pray for you, Rusty.

Casey Cartwright:
Now, what can you tell me about Ashleigh just from her appearance? Anyone? There are four things that I see right away. One: the stain on the right side of her theory shirt means she's sloppy. Two: her Marc Jacobs skirt looks brand-new but is last season, so I'm guessing clearance rack raid? Three: her Prada shoes, while quite nice, are too big for her feet, probably on loan from a friend with better taste and more money. Four...

Libby:
Oh! Oh, oh! The bags under her eyes. She's a party girl who's probably still drunk from last night.

Ashleigh:
That's all true!

Frannie:
Rush just makes me so rowdy!

Rusty Cartwright:
Where's your name tag?

Engineering Student:
I don't feel comfortable with strangers having access to personal information without my explicit consent.

Rusty Cartwright:
[laughs nervously]

Engineering Student:
I think we're done here.

Ashleigh:
"Laguna Beach" is so freakin' real.

Casey Cartwright:
I know, right?

Casey Cartwright:
You know Cap I hope I didn't hurt you when I ended things.

Cappie:
Who said it's over?

Dale:
[at the engineering party] Check out the hotties! And free Red Bull! I mean, we get a whole other week of this before classes even start. College rocks.

Rusty Cartwright:
You know, to be honest, I kinda expected...more...Our first college party.

Dale:
Like a fraternity party or something? I mean who would choose to hang out with a bunch of drunkards whose goal in life is to fornicate on as many vapid sorority girls as possible.

Libby:
Boy in the house!

Ashleigh:
Where's the fat guard?!

Rusty Cartwright:
I want to have fun!

Casey Cartwright:
You don't know how to have fun!

Wade:
We prefer virgins. Welcome to Kappa Tau.

Rusty Cartwright:
But she's my sister.

Evan:
We could be your brothers.

Cappie:
Hey Beav, didn't you take some pictures last night? That could jog our memories.

The Beaver:
All the pictures I took were of girls flashing their racks.

Cappie:
Hmmm. I'm gonna need to see those.

Dale:
I know that I may seem like just a Christian hick with a very bright future ahead of him, but can I give you some advice?

Casey Cartwright:
Last night was a one time thing.

Cappie:
Well, it wasn't just one time last night.

Rusty Cartwright:
[talking about Casey] How do you know her?

Cappie:
Uh, in the biblical sense.

Rusty Cartwright:
Oh, from Church.

Cappie:
Yea, you could say I've been in her church.

Cappie:
Give us a second, Pledge.

Rusty Cartwright:
Pledge? Is that a part of the whole hazing thing?

Cappie:
No, I just can't remember his name.

Rusty Cartwright:
Just keep in mind guys, this will not be a Kappa Tau party here tomorrow night, though. These are honors engineers, so no booze, no hot chicks, just... robots.

Rusty Cartwright:
[talking about love] How do you know when you mean it?

Cappie:
I don't know, I guess it's a kind of burning, itching sensation. But in a good way.

Rusty Cartwright:
I think I'm ready to use the L word with Jen.

Cappie:
That's a pretty bold move, what makes you think she's a lesbian?

Rusty Cartwright:
I think I'm ready to use the L-word with Jen.

Cappie:
That's a pretty bold move. What makes you think she's a lesbian, and is that a dealbreaker for you?!

Rusty Cartwright:
Not that L-word. I wanna tell her I love her.

Cappie:
Look, if you need to say "I love you", call your mom.

Cappie:
I had a little minx once. She was the fairest of all forest creature. But I let her get away. [slaps himself] Bad Cappie.

Casey Cartwright:
During rush, I was actually close to taking a bid out of Tri Pi, and Ashleigh found out that one of the girls hated me and was gonna dig me out two weeks later, and she keyed the girls car.

Evan:
You never told me that...Someone keyed my car this rush.

Rusty Cartwright:
I told Jordan I didn't want to be friend with her anymore. I want the whole bag of chips.

Casey Cartwright:
Oh, here, you can have this one.

Rusty Cartwright:
Andy broke up with her tonight.

Cappie:
Oh?

Rusty Cartwright:
Then they got back together.

Cappie:
Oh...

Rusty Cartwright:
And I was there for the whole thing. Trying to be supportive... trying to be her friend... I just couldn't do it. I wasn't there to be her friend. I was waiting. I can't wait around, that'll take forever. It easier for her to be friends because she's with Andy. But for me, I just can't sit around hoping she'll pick me.

Casey Cartwright:
Why can't you find someone else who's perfect for you?

Cappie:
Because no other girl in the world compares to you.

Casey Cartwright:
Oh yeah?

Cappie:
Kind of hard to believe, right?

Cappie:
Look, a few house of sleep isn't going to change anything.

Casey Cartwright:
It's old habits

Cappie:
Old habits, like having a great time together? Knowing each other better than we know ourselves? What does that tell you?

Casey Cartwright:
Well I guess it tells me that we can't be friends!

Cappie:
Fine. Then you're right, I guess I do need to move on. We'll see you around Case...

Casey Cartwright:
I just want to do what's right!

Cappie:
We can't be friends. That's what you're saying and I'm agreeing with you.

Casey Cartwright:
Then why are we shouting?

Cappie:
You started shouting!

Casey Cartwright:
I just want to not waste my time?

Cappie:
I get it. Well you're wasting my time now.

Casey Cartwright:
Wait what are we saying?

Cappie:
You said it all. There's the door.

Ashleigh Howard:
Do you think it's possible to meet someone and just feel that they are your soulmate?

Casey Cartwright:
Yes. But I have to believe we have many soulmates. If not, the world has a twisted sense of humor, right?

Rebecca Logan:
You got me to trust you. You told me that I deserved to be happy, and that we could be happy together. But you keep leaving me alone and making me feel crazy when I just want to know that you're there for me.

Casey Cartwright:
I'm sorry about all that stuff I said during our fight. But how could you think we're a college relationship? We're like Sex and the City. Yeah, I know it's a worn-out franchise, and they're not real people. But Carrie and Miranda and Charlotte and Samantha are each other's soul mates. And you'll always be mine. With or without Cappie.

Ashleigh Howard:
And you'll always be my soul mate. And it's not a worn-out franchise. I even liked the second movie.

Casey Cartwright:
Me, too!

Ashleigh Howard:
OK, good.

Calvin Owens:
You know, most people barely remember their 21st birthday. This will be one I will never forget.

Casey Cartwright:
Why are you so pissed at me? It was an honest mistake.

Cappie:
It's like there's this tractor beam that seems to pull me toward you no matter what I do, and I am trying to shut it down. I'm trying to make it go away. It's nearly...

Casey Cartwright:
-You think I planned this? You think I rigged the contest? So the KTs and ZBZs worked together, sabotaged the truck, then told Rusty not to answer his phone, got the girls drunk at the tailgate so they couldn't get me and forgot to call the Auto Club, so you could rescue me?

Cappie:
See, I don't want to wonder anymore about what you're thinking, what you're doing or who you're doing it with. You were right, Case, I need to move on, but I don't know if I can if-Unless you just stop.

Casey Cartwright:
Stop what? I'm sorry I called. I'm sorry I keep talking to you. I'm trying to do better. What else can I do?

Cappie:
I don't know! Just stop. Stop making me so crazy.

Casey Cartwright:
-Stop being so paranoid.

Cappie:
-Stop telling me what to do.

Casey Cartwright:
-Stop wasting your life on stupid things.

Cappie:
-Stop making me want your approval.

Casey Cartwright:
-Stop always being there when I need you.

Mechanic:
-Stop yelling at each other and tell me what's wrong with the damn truck!

Casey Cartwright:
It's the alternator.

Cappie:
-It's the carburetor.

Casey Cartwright:
My internship was a complete failure. The other interns came armed with years of political knowledge. I came armed with subtle highlights and the ability to make up a cheesy skit about almost anything. And, worst of all, they called me Elle Woods.

Katherine:
I watched 9 1/2 weeks, apparently men find it erotic when women wear dress shirts.

Evan Chambers:
Look all I'm saying is you know how it felt to lose her once, do you really want to go through all that again?

Rebecca Logan:
[Rebecca's Greek Goddess speech] Let's focus on that word. Hypocrisy. Here's an example. How girls are held to an impossible sexual standard, how a girl can be called a slut while a guy is applauded for his conquests. And when she wants to seem strong through the name-calling, she's a b*tch. And it's not just the guys who are saying this, ladies. But it's important to call out such hypocrisy. Because we're not actually gods and goddesses. We're humans who make mistakes. Hopefully we learn from them and move on, pulling ourselves back up. Recently, I made a mistake but there's only one person here who has the right to speak to me about it. As for everyone else, I'm Rebecca Logan and I'm a ZBZ. And I'm damn proud of both.

Cappie:
I have nothing, except for maybe a small case of revenge block.

Rusty Cartwright:
You didn't think that I could help you?

Cappie:
I didn't want to disappoint you. It had to be perfect, and I don't have perfect in me right now.

Rusty Cartwright:
But I know that. You're one of the biggest screw-ups in the school.

Cappie:
Well, thank you very much, my friend.

Cappie:
But I also know that if I have a problem I can always come to you. I just wish you felt the same. Quit being my hero and start being my friend.

Casey Cartwright:
Why would you want to put yourself out there like that?

Rebecca Logan:
Because I wanted to show everyone that I didn't give a crap about how people see me.

Casey Cartwright:
Everyone? Or Evan? I mean, do you still care about him?

Rebecca Logan:
Yes. And I hate that. I just thought that because he's different and messed-up, like me, that he'd get me.

Dale:
It's like I'm living ABBA!

Calvin Owens:
I'm just considering my options, all right? I'm getting a little tired of waiting to hear from you guys.

Trent:
Yeah, you're not going to. Hope you guys got plenty of cosmo mix for the fairy.

[Calvin rushes Trent and they fight while the others call out]

Calvin Owens:
I don't even like cosmos, b*tch!

Cappie:
Downstairs will be a once-in-a-lifetime down-and-dirty secret prohibition party - in our oh-so-humble grotto.

The Beaver:
A what party?

Cappie:
...a prohibition party, uh, a speakeasy.

[Beaver looks confused]

Cappie:
All right, look. Here's how it's gonna work. Upstairs is gonna be the authority-pleasing, yawn-inducing Great Gatsby party, but downstairs will be a delightful, delicious den of iniquity.

[Beaver looks more confused]

Rusty Cartwright:
You've heard of the 18th Amendment? You know alcohol was illegal in the 20s?

The Beaver:
No?

[Everyone laughs]

The Beaver:
Is that why they call it the Great Depression?

Cappie:
Second of all, you can always go back to your soul mate, that's what makes them a soul mate.

Rusty Cartwright:
I'm going to find my soul mate, someday...

Rusty Cartwright:
I've never been on a date before.

Calvin, Dale:
You haven't?

Rusty Cartwright:
What? Is that so weird?

[pause, then turns to Dale]

Rusty Cartwright:
Wait, Dale. You've been on a *date*?

Dale:
Hey, I'm a virgin. Not a leper.

Cappie:
Spitter, what are you so afraid of?

Rusty Cartwright:
Rejection. Humiliation. And clowns.

Cappie:
Well, those are scary things, but let's try and maintain perspective.

Casey Cartwright:
Have you forgotten about our first time? You can be as cocky as you want but it was more than just sex.

Cappie:
It was pretty amazing right.

Casey Cartwright:
No! It was awkward, uncomfortable and terrifying. But we were in love it was a perfect moment in time that I look back on with no regrets. Rusty deserves the same.

Ashleigh:
Pledge, let's go shopping.

Calvin:
Uh, I have a name, you know.

Ashleigh:
I'm sure you do.

Calvin:
So you need a date for Friday. I don't see what the big deal is.

Rusty Cartwright:
For the rest of the house it isn't, girls are all they talk about.

Calvin:
Oh man I am with you. I am so sick of hearing guys talk about getting laid.

Dale:
Calvin, I could not agree more. I mean, when is the Greek system gonna realize that sex before marriage is like slappin' God in the face?

Calvin:
[frowns] Not exactly what I meant.

Frannie:
The sluts at Tri Pi have been circling him like hyenas in heat; we cannot afford to lose him. [sighs] Oh come on Little Miss Mopey, it's not like I'm telling you to kill puppies!

Cappie:
It's simple. The secret to flirting, dating, and hooking up is all biology.

Rusty Cartwright:
Don't you mean anatomy?

Cappie:
Spitter, can't you see I'm in lecture mode? Where was I? AH! Biology. Okay, there's this guy named Chuck Darwin, now he proved that mankind has evolved over billions and trillions of years. Darwin showed that every aspect of human behavior has an evolutionary purpose. Right? Chatting up girls is in our genetic code, we're programmed to be able to do it. Why? So we can boink and make babies. It's survival of the flirtiest.

Rusty Cartwright:
So you're saying I'm becoming extinct?

Cappie:
No, no. I'm saying evolution has made us good at this. You need to get outta your head and just trust your instincts. The ability to attract a female is hardwired into your DNA.

Rusty Cartwright:
That actually makes scientific sense.

Cappie:
Of course it does, I was a Bio major once! Now let's go make Chuckie D proud.

Frannie:
Ashleigh, if I find one drop of paint on the floor, I'll gut you. [beat] Have fun!

Rusty Cartwright:
I need a favor.

Casey Cartwright:
It's happy hour; you'd better need a kidney.

Cappie:
Turning your brother into your boyfriend is kinda creepy, Case!

Casey Cartwright:
[talking about Rusty] He asked me for help!

Cappie:
And he looks like he's about to overdose on khaki.

Cappie:
In your virgin mind women are like these mythical creatures. Like unicorns. With breasts! But let me tell you something, that's a myth. Women are just normal people with breasts.

Evan Chambers:
Look, Rebecca, I made a huge mistake hooking up with you, okay? I love my girlfriend.

Rebecca Logan:
I got that sense when you were taking my bra off with your teeth.

Evan:
[to Casey] You wanna see if Frasier's on?

Rusty Cartwright:
I know you guys think virginity is like this precious gift, but you know what, it's not! It's a big fat burden, it's one that's making me feel like this lonely, awkward loser and I'm tired of feeling that way and tonight I have a chance to change that. So I'm gonna give my gift away. I'm gonna give it to a girl named Lucy ... or Laura, or something that begins with an L.

Casey Cartwright:
This is exciting

Rebecca Logan:
Do little cartoon birds hold up your robe for you every morning?

Rebecca Logan:
You're telling me college students are more into getting naked than voting? I'm shocked!

Rusty Cartwright:
Oh you mean Graduation.

Cappie:
Yeah that, I've personally never understood the appeal, my favorite coffee place is here, my friends are here, the weather never seems to change.

Cappie:
You're Casey Cartwright. You can do anything you want. That's how I know you're gonna go to Washington, and you're gonna be amazing.

Casey Cartwright:
OK, even if I could, what about us? What about...

Cappie:
-Graduation?

Casey Cartwright:
Oh, my God, he said it. You'll never leave here. You love it too much.

Cappie:
That's true, I do love it here. But I don't think I could be anywhere that didn't have you.

Cappie:
See that's the thing, she's not just some other girl. At least not to me. I had the opportunity to be with her and my "Friend" talked me out of it.

Rusty Cartwright:
Maybe this friend doesn't have your best interested in mind. You know maybe he's just looking out for himself.

Cappie:
Wait, wait! There's something I need to say... I've been thinking... about... stuff.

Casey Cartwright:
Really me too, like should I get my hair colored? Would I look good as a brunette?

Cappie:
I think you'd look gorgeous with any color.

Casey Cartwright:
Good to know, thanks...

Cappie:
So, anyway...

Casey Cartwright:
You've been thinking...

Cappie:
Yeah, yeah, I um, yeah I was just... I'm sorry I'm nervous, um, I really wish things worked out with us.

Casey Cartwright:
That was my wish too.

Cappie:
So your wish? Is that what you wished for on your wish... pretzel?

Casey Cartwright:
You know, I'm sorry I've been drinking, so, um, let's just talk tomorrow, OK?

Cappie:
No, no, let's talk now?

Casey Cartwright:
Cap, I poured my heart out to you at the End of the World Party, and you didn't come after me. You should've come after me!

Cappie:
I know. And I have no excuse. But I'm here now and I'm telling you that...

Casey Cartwright:
-Telling me what?

Cappie:
I want to try us again. I want to be with you.

Casey Cartwright:
I want to be with you too.

Joel:
The older you get, the more you realize some people should be around your entire life and others should just make an appearance.

Casey Cartwright:
We'll have to work harder to stay on the same page.

Ashleigh Howard:
We never had to work at it before.

Casey Cartwright:
I know. I know.

Ashleigh Howard:
So do you think that Sunny was right? We're only friends because of geography.

Casey Cartwright:
Maybe that's why we became friends, but I don't think it's why we stayed friends.

Ashleigh Howard:
So you don't think that we're growing apart?

Casey Cartwright:
I think we're growing up. Ash, I don't want to live in the past. Not with you. Because if we did, we'd still be...

Ashleigh Howard:
-In this laundry room? Well, I can still read your mind.

Cappie:
Don't you think you're giving Evan the wrong idea by keeping that when you don't feel the same way he does?

Rebecca Logan:
Evan knew how I felt about that stuff from the start. And I don't want to get so serious with him, or with anyone, for that matter. It's easier and I'm just not that kind of person. Why is it so hard to just keep everything casual and fun?

Cappie:
Nobody moves, nobody gets hurt.

Rebecca Logan:
I'm the one angsting here.

Cappie:
I'm just not sure I'm ready to graduate and leave here and become the Hilgendorfs. The whole idea is soul-sucking and kind of scary.

Rebecca Logan:
I hear ya. So, what about you and Casey ? I thought you didn't want to be anywhere she isn't.

Cappie:
Well, if she gets into CRU law, then it won't be an issue for a while.

Rebecca Logan:
And if she doesn't ?

Cappie:
I don't really know, but I can't figure it all out today, Becks.