Mystery of Mamo

Detective Ed Scott:
[opening narration] The Coroner's Report came through on the Telex from Transylvania. They had done an autopsy and claimed that there is no doubt whatsoever that the executed man was… the real, Lupin the Third. But… I was one detective who refused to believe it. I had to see for myself.

[Lupin, hidden behind a pillar, presents a rose for Margo]

Margo:
[gasps] Lupin? It's Lupin!

Lupin:
[melodramatic] You're so beautiful, Margo!

Margo:
[chuckling] Stop joking now, Lupin.

Lupin:
[walks out to her, wearing a formal dress suit] You think I'm joking? The soft breeze of Paris must have melted my callous heart. [smells the rose] I thought I made myself extremely conspicuous tonight.

Margo:
[chuckling] I can see that. You look very nice.

Lupin:
O, the fragrant flower! You are like a rose.

Margo:
How old-fashioned!

Lupin:
Even the pain of thy thorns gives great pleasure… to the love in my heart. O Margo!

Margo:
Enough of that stupid act. Let's get down to business now.

Lupin:
Can she be so hard! [throws the rose away] You really do have a lot of thorns, don't you?

Margo:
I am in a hurry. Or perhaps, Lupin, you mean…

Lupin:
Don't be hasty. Look here…

[Margo's eyes widen as Lupin presents her the Wiseman's Stone]

Samurai:
Once again, I cut a worthless object...

Lupin:
You think Detective Scott has Blood Type A?

Dan Dunn:
Probably Type O.

[Lupin and his gang have returned to their hideout to find it destroyed]

Dan Dunn:
The weapons and food are all gone.

Lupin:
Thanks a lot; I can see that.

Dan Dunn:
[kicking debris, grunting angrily] Lupin! Forget that woman. This is it. I've had enough; I've reached my limit! And it must have been Margo who told them about this place of ours! If you don't drop her, I'm getting out of this deal right now!

Lupin:
Oh, stop joking.

Samurai:
Joking? I thought you were the one who was joking! It was a mistake to take this job from a female. And then, out of sheer vanity, you decided to accept evil in return for good!

Lupin:
You mean all females have a wicked nature?

Samurai:
The thing I can't stand is that secret indecent intention of yours!

Dan Dunn:
So, this is the genuine American navy?

Samurai:
It's stupid. This is too unrealistic.

Dan Dunn:
You and me are the things that are unrealistic.

Gordon:
Stand up! Special Presidential Aide, Mr. Gissinger! [he presses a button, drawing down automated blinds]

Samurai:
What did he say?

Dan Dunn:
He said… this guy's the mastermind for the biggest man in the world! [Gordon plays a taped recording of a conversation between US President Jimmy Carter and the Secretary General]

Secretary General:
Mr. President. Do you really have good control of your government? Do you realize I'm being blackmailed?

US President:
Blackmailed?

Secretary General:
I am to supply all secret technical data on biochemistry, sitology, gene technology… and if I refuse, they'll attack with an atomic missile.

US President:
I've been threatened the same way. And to prove that they really mean it, they've already destroyed several of our communication satellites!

Secretary General:
I must remind you that it has nothing to do with us.

US President:
I do realize it.

Secretary General:
Then, do you think that man is…?

Mamaux:
That's right. It is I, Mamaux! [Gissinger stops the tape]

Gissinger:
It is not necessary to explain to you who these people are. We are interested only in the blackmailer who broke in on the hotline… When they were having a secret conversation. [he rewinds part of the tape, and continues playing]

Mamaux:
That's right. It is I, Mamaux! The greatest brain in the world. A prophet… or you may call me God!

US President:
God?! You must be insane!

Secretary General:
For one who calls himself God, your requests are pretty weird…

Mamaux:
Requests? This is an order. If you really know what is going on in the world right now, you should know better than this. [Gordon stops the tape]

[Mamaux shows Lupin and Margo surveillance footage of Dan Dunn and Samurai]

Mamaux:
[chuckling] I believe your friends have arrived.

Lupin:
Oh, it's them!

Mamaux:
And one more person…

[Detective Scott, with a picture of Lupin, is shown questioning Laozi of his location]

Lupin:
Even the old shamus! [laughs] This is getting crazier and crazier!

Mamaux:
The man who's entertaining him right now is an ancient Chinese philosopher.

Lupin:
You mean he's paranoiac and thinks he is…

Mamaux:
No, he's the real one!

Lupin:
You mean a real nut?

[Mamaux shows them images of the people he has cloned]

Mamaux:
Listen carefully. It took me 10,000 years to collect them. Politics, religion, philosophy, art. I preserved the most brilliant men in history from every field, and right now they still exist here.

[Detective Scott and his Police Commissioner are eating in a Japanese restaurant in Colombia]

Commissioner:
The reason I came such a long way to this little town in Colombia… was to order you to stop pursuing Lupin. He's got something to do with a very important man now. It's international… no, it… concerns the whole universe!

Detective Ed Scott:
I'm afraid… I don't quite get what you mean.

Commissioner:
Well, anyway, the Lupin case is way above our level. Oh, that's right! [hands a small document with Scott's "name" on it] Here's a special bonus for all the trouble you went through. [chuckles] You've been a way for a long time now, and your daughter has grown up. Now I came to take you back home with me.

Detective Ed Scott:
I happen to be the only one who can capture Lupin.

Commissioner:
Oh… I appreciate how you feel…

Detective Ed Scott:
[shouting] Commissioner, I won't give up!

Commissioner:
That's an order!

[Detective Scott angrily growls, and tears up the bonus. He kicks away the table he and the Commissioner are eating at]

Detective Ed Scott:
I resign! I'll go after him on my own! I'll get that Lupin! [he storms out of the restaurant to the surprise of the customers]

Commissioner:
Detective Scott!

[Dan Dunn tries to prevent Lupin from confronting Mamaux]

Dan Dunn:
Don't go, Lupin!

Lupin:
Well... you know, he stole my dream. I've got to get it back.

Dan Dunn:
You mean that woman, don't you?

Lupin:
You sure are the classic type - completely hopeless.

Detective Zenigata:
[opening narration] The Coroner's Report came over the Telex from Transylvania. They'd performed an autopsy on the prisoner they'd hanged. Fingerprints… dental records… the whole ball of wax. The report left no doubt whatsoever that the dead man was the real… Lupin… the Third. But I wasn't buying it… not until I'd seen his cold, stiff body with my own eyes.

[Lupin, hidden behind a pillar, presents a rose for Fujiko, who gasps]

Lupin:
[melodramatic , clears his throat] My love is like a red, red rose!

Fujiko:
Lupin!

Lupin:
[in a mock English accent] A rose is a rose by any other name would smell as sweet!

Fujiko:
What is this, English lit. 101?

Lupin:
[walks out to her, wearing a formal dress suit, clears his throat] How like a rose thou art? Oh, your beauty dazzles my eyes! Your thorns pierce my heart! [smells the rose, changes back to his normal accent] And that stuff didn't come out of any book, by the way. I made that part up all by myself.

Fujiko:
Don't give up your day job, okay? Shouldn't we get down to business?

Lupin:
[in an uncharacteristically deep voice] I long to undress thee Fujiko petal by petal…

Fujiko:
Great. Now it's getting obscene.

Lupin:
I long to plat thee in my garden of love, want to thee with my tears and fertilize thee with my dearest Fujiko!

Fujiko:
Enough of the fertilizer, Lupin. Get that bud out of my face before I plant it.

Lupin:
So typical of the materialistic modern woman. [throws the rose away] All they want is expensive jewelry.

Fujiko:
All I want is what we agreed to. [gasps] What are you babbling about? Did you find the gemstone?!

Lupin:
Does Santa Claus wear a red suit?

[Fujiko's eyes widen as Lupin presents her the Philosopher's Stone]

Goemon:
Once again... I defile my blade on an unworthy object.

Lupin:
Watch. This time, I'm gonna shake 'em… once and for all!

Jigen:
How many times have I heard that?

[Lupin and his gang have returned to their hideout to find it destroyed]

Jigen:
No weapons, no food, no nothing. They must have got here first.

Lupin:
No kidding. So you don't think it was termites?

Jigen:
[kicking debris] Look. It's obvious what happened. We know who must have told them about this place - a certain redhead with a motorcycle and a skin-tight black leather jumpsuit on! She's nothing but bad luck; either you dump her or you can count me out.

Lupin:
Will you give it a rest?!

Goemon:
It is you who should give it a rest, Lupin. This infantile need to prove your virility is humiliating to behold… and dangerous. Your lust for this creature has blinded you to her true nature.

Lupin:
[sighing] You're jealous. Both of you.

Goemon:
I warn you - abandon these indecent cravings for the sake of your soul.

Jigen:
All this just about the two of us. Boy, with the Cold War over, things must be pretty slow.

Goemon:
We can thank Lupin for getting us into this.

Jigen:
Life'd sure be dull without him, wouldn't it?

Gordon:
Stand up! You're in the presence of a very important government official! [he presses a button, drawing down automated blinds]

Goemon:
I stand for no one.

Jigen:
Me neither, not even for Heinrich Gissinger, Special Adviser to, and the brains behind the President of the United States. [Gordon plays a taped recording of a conversation between the US President and the Secretary General]

Secretary General:
Mr. President, my country's being blackmailed. I hope your government is not at fault.

US President:
Now calm down, Boris. That's ridiculous.

Secretary General:
Whoever it is demands that we hand over all of our secret scientific data on cryogenics and gene splicing. If we do not, he threatens to attack us with nuclear warheads!

US President:
Well, he's not one of ours. We've been threatened the same way. In fact, he's already knocked out two of our communication satellites!

Secretary General:
You do not think that we…

US President:
No, no. The Cold War's over, after all… isn't it, Boris?

Secretary General:
Oh… why, yes it is. Of course! But who is this madman?

Mamo:
If I may, gentlemen… I am Mamo. [Gissinger stops the tape]

Gissinger:
The first two voices will remain unidentified. They are of no concern. What we want is the identity of the man who broke in on their top-secret conversation… this blackmailer who calls himself "Mamo". [he fast-forwards part of the tape, and continues playing]

Mamo:
That's right - Mamo. Some have called me a prophet; others, a God.

Secretary General:
That is lunacy!

US President:
That's an understatement. You can't believe that we'll go along with this.

Mamo:
You have no choice! I know every more you make before you know it yourselves. Why, I even know about that little floozy you keep in the steno pool, Mr. President. How would you like the world to find out about her?

US President:
Oh… how dare you!

Secretary General:
Floozy? What is this floozy? [Gordon stops the tape]

[Mamo shows Lupin and Fujiko surveillance footage of Jigen and Goemon]

Mamo:
Ah. Must be friends of yours, if I'm not mistaken.

Lupin:
Yeah, we've crossed paths a couple of times.

Mamo:
And what's more, there's somebody else…

[Detective Zenigata, with a picture of Lupin, is shown questioning Laozi of his location]

Lupin:
Zenigata! [laughs] Well, he sure is persistent. I'll give him that.

Mamo:
The person he's talking to is Lao Tzu, the ancient Chinese philosopher.

Lupin:
You mean a paranoid schizophrenic who thinks he's Lao…

Mamo:
No, he's the real one!

Lupin:
You mean a real nut… am I right?

[Mamo shows them images of the people he has cloned]

Mamo:
I have populated my island with the most brilliant men and women in history. Geniuses from every field - Politics, philosophy, religion, art. It has taken me 10,000 years to collect them all. Superior, every one!

[Detective Zenigata and his Police Commissioner are eating in a Japanese restaurant in Colombia]

Commissioner:
Nothing personal. Actually… we're dropping the whole business. That's why I came to this Godforsaken town in Colombia - to find you and order you off the Lupin case. It seems our boy's involved with some pretty important people. It's a diplomatic affair, now… a lot bigger than you and me, Detective.

Detective Zenigata:
Would you repeat that? I think I'm still a little soggy.

Commissioner:
The Lupin case is finished. You got that? Forget about him. Oh! One more thing. [hands a small document with Zenigata's name on it] A little something in the way of a bonus for all your efforts. Oh, you'll be happy to get home after all this time, eh! Your daughter's all grown up. Well, your plane leaves in a couple of hours.

Detective Zenigata:
With all due respect, sir, I'm the only one who can catch him!

Commissioner:
I know how you feel…

Detective Zenigata:
[shouting] Chief, you can't do this!

Commissioner:
Wait a moment, now! It's an order!

[Detective Zenigata angrily growls, and tears up the bonus. He kicks away the table he and the Commissioner are eating at]

Detective Zenigata:
Well, now it's confetti! I resign, chief! I'll go after him on my own! [he storms out of the restaurant to the surprise of the customers]

Commissioner:
I'm warning you! Come back here at once!

[Jigen tries to prevent Lupin from confronting Mamo]

Jigen:
You're not going, Lupin.

Lupin:
He stole something that belongs to me. Now I want it back.

Jigen:
All this because of some damn woman.

Lupin:
Buddy, I feel sorry for you. You're completely hopeless.

Detective Zenigata:
[opening narration] The Coroner's Report came through from Transylvania on the Telex. There was a whole lotta bullshit about 'Transylvanian justice' and stringing people up. But here's the bit that interested me… 'There is no doubt whatever… that the man we executed… was, in fact… the real… Wolf the Third.' But I was one detective who wouldn't bet his trenchcoat on a Transylvanian Telex! I had to see for myself!

[Wolf, hidden behind a pillar, presents a rose for Fujiko]

Fujiko:
[gasps] Wolfie?

Wolf:
[melodramatic] The lovely Fujiko, unless I'm much mistaken!

Fujiko:
Flattery will get you anything you want… not.

Wolf:
[walks out to her, wearing a formal dress suit] Do not worry! How can you be so unfair, when the soft breezes of Paris have melted my icy heart? [smells the rose] I thought a little smooth dressing would set the tone for an evening of beauty that matches your own.

Fujiko:
[sighing] You quaint old-fashioned boy. However, I do get the message.

Wolf:
O, the beauty of this flower doth pale beside Fujiko.

Fujiko:
Wolf, cut the crap, eh?

Wolf:
O, there's pain in the prick of thy thorn, but that pain brings pleasure… onto my soul.

Fujiko:
Wolf, this is getting boring. So do me a favor, and let's get down to business.

Wolf:
Huh! How can somebody have eyes [throws the rose away] burning with such deep passion, but be so cold to me?!

Fujiko:
It isn't remotely difficult. Unless… you weren't asking me to marry you, were you?!

Wolf:
Don't be silly. But… see what I got?

[Fujiko's eyes widen as Wolf presents her the Wiseman's Stone]

Goemon:
I demean myself with my attention to this worthless object.

Wolf:
I wish he wouldn't take it quite so personally!

Jigen:
Yeah. Makes him pretty mean.

[Wolf and his gang have returned to their hideout to find it destroyed]

Wolf:
So much for my hideout…

Jigen:
No food, guns or ammo. No nothing.

Wolf:
Thanks, Jigen. I really hadn't noticed.

Jigen:
[kicking debris, grunting angrily] Wolf. I'm just a little pissed off. And I'm telling you you've gotta forget Fujiko. She must've shown the strong arms boys and the mob this place, and they did the rest! It's time to make some painful choices; it's either Fujiko or me!

Wolf:
Don't tempt me…

Goemon:
Wolf-San. A samurai warrior cannot work for a female. You accepted the commission to steal the stone for her only because you like the look of her ass. The wise man has said, 'nice asses turn men into asses.'

Wolf:
True - that sure was a wise guy.

Goemon:
Your degenerate mockery is getting dangerously irritating!

Jigen:
So, this is how Uncle Sam keeps the world safe for democracy.

Goemon:
All military might is an illusion.

Jigen:
Well, those planes look pretty real to me.

Gordon:
Tenshun! This is Special Presidential Adviser, Mr. Gissinger. [he presses a button, drawing down automated blinds]

Goemon:
What's special about him?

Jigen:
Have you heard his accent? Apart from that, he masterminds the world's number-one big bang show. [Gordon plays a taped recording of a conversation between the US President and the Secretary General]

Secretary General:
Mr. President. I want your assurance that the CIA is not responsible - I am being blackmailed.

US President:
Eh, how's that, Mr. Secretary?

Secretary General:
I am to hand over all secret technical data on biochemistry, sitology and gene technology. If I refuse, my country will suffer a nuclear attack!

US President:
Hey, I've been threatened the same way. And to prove they're serious, they've already destroyed several of our communication satellites.

Secretary General:
Well, it was not us, Mr. President.

US President:
I know that, Mr. Secretary. You couldn't hit one of our satellites if you tried.

Secretary General:
Now, wait! Only…

US President:
Joke's on you, Boris. The important thing is - to find out who's behind this.

Mamo:
I shall tell you. It is I, Mamo. [Gissinger stops the tape]

Gissinger:
I cannot reveal who the first voices we heard belong to, but it's the third voice, which is obviously the blackmailer's, that I am interested in. Who broke in on this secure hotline conversation? [he rewinds part of the tape, and continues playing]

Mamo:
I shall tell you. It is I, Mamo. The greatest intellect in the history of the world. Some call me a prophet; you may address me as God.

Secretary General:
God?! You must be insane!

US President:
Eh… if you're God, I gotta tell you, your requests are pretty unoriginal, not to say, venial.

Mamo:
Request? I'm giving you and order! And if you care about Main Street, cherry pie and dynasties as you always say, you'll jump to it! [Gordon stops the tape]

[Mamo shows Wolf and Fujiko surveillance footage of Jigen and Goemon]

Mamo:
[chuckling] Your friends have foolishly followed you here.

Wolf:
Hey! Watch out, guys!

Mamo:
And someone else is tracking them, apparently.

[Detective Zenigata, with a picture of Wolf, is shown questioning Laozi of his location]

Wolf:
Well, whaddya know! [laughs] The plot's thickening up very nicely!

Mamo:
He's cornered one of the greatest philosophers in the history of the world.

Wolf:
You mean some paranoid nut who thinks he is…

Mamo:
No I don't, he's real!

Wolf:
You mean a real nut?

[Mamo shows them images of the people he has cloned]

Mamo:
Try to listen carefully and see if your poor brain can grasp that I've gathered the most brilliant men in history; from the fields of art, religion, philosophy and politics here! Not as some sort of conjuring trick, but an actual fact!

[Detective Zenigata and his Police Commissioner are eating in a Japanese restaurant in Colombia]

Commissioner:
Zenigata, the reason I brought you to this Japanese restaurant, Colombia, was to tell you that the Wolf File is closed. I've been warned off by an important person in person. This case now has international, and quite possibly, interplanetary ramifications. I hope I make myself clear.

Detective Zenigata:
I don't get it. This case is all I live for!

Commissioner:
Come on, there are other hobbies for an experienced cop like you. But, we decided you… [hands a small document with Zenigata's name on it] earned yourself a little bonus for dedication to duty. [chuckles] You've been away from home a long while, and I was told - your wife's suing for divorce. So I'm here to take you back home.

Detective Zenigata:
But Commissioner, no one can catch Wolf, except me!

Commissioner:
Sure. I know how you feel, son…

Detective Zenigata:
[shouting] I refuse to give up!

Commissioner:
Don't you yell at me! That was an order!

[Detective Zenigata angrily growls, and tears up the bonus. He kicks away the table he and the Commissioner are eating at]

Detective Zenigata:
I resign as of now! I don't need a badge to go after that creep! [he storms out of the restaurant to the surprise of the customers, laughing manically]

Commissioner:
You'll never drive your squad car again!

[Jigen tries to prevent Wolf from confronting Mamo]

Jigen:
Hold it right there!

Wolf:
Y'know, Jigen… a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Mamo stole my dream.

Jigen:
Even the Samurai couldn't put it better. But I'm not going with you.

Wolf:
I'll be better off alone. I think it's a one man job.

CORONER'S REPORT:
An autopsy was performed on the executed prisoner who was without question the real Lupin the Third.

BUT… THERE WAS A MAN WHO REFUSED TO BELIEVE THAT LUPIN WAS DEAD…

[Lupin, hidden behind a pillar, presents a rose for Fujiko]

Fujiko:
[gasps] Lupin?

Lupin:
[melodramatic] Alas… only what's left of him.

Fujiko:
Hm. What exactly is that supposed to mean?

Lupin:
[walks out to her, wearing a formal dress suit] It means, my dear Fujiko, that you are a rose, and I have been pricked by the thorn of your indifference…

Fujiko:
The thorn of my indifference? Oh, brother…

Lupin:
[smells the rose] Fatally pricked, and now, almost completely wasted away, my darling.

Fujiko:
[chuckling] Fatally pricked, huh? You gotta love karma!

Lupin:
Yet, there is still one thing that could save me.

Fujiko:
What might that be?

Lupin:
If your petal-like lips would but caress my own unworthy sad ones, I might yet survive, my love.

Fujiko:
I would, but you know you'd just prick yourself all over again.

Lupin:
Boy, you're all thorns. [throws the rose away] And after all I went through to get you that damn Stone!

Fujiko:
Now, don't try to make me feel all… [gasps] are you saying you actually did it, Lupin?!

Lupin:
Why, of course. Here you are.

[Fujiko's eyes widen as Lupin presents her the Philosopher's Stone]

Goemon:
An unworthy target defiles the weapon.

Lupin:
Hey, you want a pillow back there, Goemon?

Jigen:
Just drive the damn car.

[Lupin and his gang have returned to their hideout to find it destroyed]

Jigen:
Food, weapons… whoever the Hell these guys are, they're real thorough.

Lupin:
Yeah, this wasn't any accident.

Jigen:
[kicking debris] Son of a b*tch! Look, I'm just gonna spit it out. There's no other possible explanation. Somebody had to have tipped them off, and there's only one person that that can be. This is it, man; you're just gonna have to choose between us and her!

Lupin:
Aw, c'mon, Jigen…

Goemon:
No, he's right. Bad enough that your infantile addiction to this woman has consistently rendered you an unreliable business partner. But even now, as she conspires with others to have us killed, you continue to defend her! It shows that…

Lupin:
Please. Go on. Shows what?

Goemon:
…that you are a weak man of no conviction and no honour.

Jigen:
US Navy. They weren't kiddin'.

Goemon:
Outrageous. They cannot do this to us.

Jigen:
You don't read the newspapers very much, do ya?

Gordon:
Stand up… now! This man is the Special Assistant to the President! [he presses a button, drawing down automated blinds] I said, stand!

Goemon:
Yes, we heard you.

Jigen:
Look. You guys went to a lot of trouble to get us here. Now why don't we just cut the crap, and get to the point. [Gordon plays a taped recording of a conversation between US President George W. Bush and the Soviet Premier]

Gordon:
[clears his throat] Yes, well…

Soviet Premier:
Mr. President, I must protest, in the strongest possible terms, the blackmailing of my administration by yours.

US President:
Mr. Premier, I'm afraid I don't…

Soviet Premier:
Please, don't insult us further. We've been threatened with nuclear attack if we don't hand over all classified research in biochemistry, sitology and biogenetics.

US President:
Mr. Premier, we just lost two communications satellites after receiving similar demands, and frankly, the capability for such strap…

Soviet Premier:
Mr. President, surely you're not accusing us.

US President:
Mr. Premier, I don't know what to think.

Soviet Premier:
What has your intelligence turned out?

Mamo:
Gentlemen, if I may interrupt…

US President:
Who's that?!

Mamo:
My name is Mamo. [Stuckey stops the tape]

Stuckey:
Now…

Jigen:
Yeah?

Stuckey:
The identification of that third voice is a matter of the utmost importance. Not only to this administration, but to the entire world. Please, listen carefully now. [he rewinds part of the tape, and continues playing]

Mamo:
My name is Mamo. I am the living embodiment of intelligence. A prophet… a God to you.

Soviet Premier:
You're a madman!

US President:
He's a terrorist! Whoever he is, what kind of a God threatens humanity with universal apocalypse if he doesn't get his way?!

Mamo:
I heard you weren't much of a student in your school days, Mr. President… but apparently, even the Bible you thump so shamelessly is the reader's digest edition. [Gordon stops the tape]

[Mamo shows Lupin and Fujiko surveillance footage of Jigen and Goemon]

Mamo:
[chuckling] Friends of yours, Lupin?

Fujiko:
Huh?!

Lupin:
How the Hell did they get here?!

Mamo:
Ah, but wait. There's more!

[Inspector Zenigata, with a picture of Lupin, is shown questioning Laozi of his location]

Lupin:
Zenigata! [laughs] He always said he'd follow me into the depths of Hell!

Mamo:
Look. He's interrogating Lao Tzu, the great ancient Philosopher.

Lupin:
Or some fruitcake who thinks he's Lao Tzu…

Mamo:
It is Lao Tzu!

Lupin:
Okeydokey!

[Mamo shows them images of the people he has cloned]

Mamo:
Laugh if you will, but this is the work of 10,000 years. A masterwork, if I say so myself. The leading lights of science, philosophy, art. All under one roof, and all are perfectly real!

[Inspector Zenigata and his Police Commissioner are eating in a Japanese restaurant in Colombia]

Commissioner:
I've been sent all the way down here to Colombia just to order you off the case. Lupin's gotten himself mixed up with some major players this time. I'm afraid it's way over our heads, Inspector. It's a matter for the diplomats at this point. Inspector…

Inspector Zenigata:
How can they… take me off this case?

Commissioner:
Well, as I said, the whole matter's completely out of my hands. Oh! By the by… [hands a small document with Zenigata's name on it] a little bonus pay for all your hard work.

Inspector Zenigata:
Uhhh…

Commissioner:
Token of our appreciation. What was your daughter's name again, Toshiko? All grown up now, hm? [chuckles] Good life waiting for you back at home!

Inspector Zenigata:
But I'm the only one in the world who can catch Lupin!

Commissioner:
[grunts apologetically] I'm so sorry…

Inspector Zenigata:
[shouting] That's not gonna cut it!

Commissioner:
Why, how dare you!

[Inspector Zenigata angrily growls, and tears up the bonus. He kicks away the table he and the Commissioner are eating at]

Inspector Zenigata:
Well then, I resign! I'll chase the guy as a private citizen! [he storms out of the restaurant to the surprise of the customers, growling crazily] Outta my way!

Commissioner:
Inspector! Get back here! Are you mad?

[Jigen tries to prevent Lupin from confronting Mamo]

Jigen:
Don't be a friggin' idiot.

Lupin:
That's just it… I'd be an idiot if I didn't go!

Jigen:
The world is full of women, Lupin.

Lupin:
It's lousy with women. But not with love.

Will love defeat an eternal evil?

Sometimes, being able to put together a world-class art collection takes a thief... this time it takes an extraordinary thief!

Lupin III vs. Clone! Who changes the world? Who?

Who is destroying the Earth? Mankind in peril!

The secret is hidden in a stone!

Mamaux calls himself God. Who is he?

What can Arsène Lupin's grandson do? Can he save the world? Lupin III can do anything!