Rupan sansei: Part II

[Reference to Wine Cellars and how they prevent aging]

Goemon:
Oh so this is where Dick Clark lives...

Goemon:
Goemon Ishikawa is in da house!

[When he watches Lupin try to hit on Fujiko]

Jigen:
Oh please somebody just give me a hose!

[Regarding Lupin the III]

Goemon:
I guess he is just trying to prove that he is the master of his own soul.

Lupin:
Excuse me, bikini inspector!

Lupin:
I always wanted to master the Funky Pharaoh.

[Lupin,Jigen,and Goemon are chasing someone in a boat]

Lupin:
I hope this isn't one of those three-hour tours you hear about on Nick-At-Night.

[repeated line]

Zenigata:
Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap!

Computer voice:
Please state first password.

Lupin:
To boldly go where no man has gone.

Computer voice:
Please state second password.

Jigen:
She can't take any more, captain.

Computer voice:
Please state third password.

Both:
Huh?

Jigen:
What third password?

Lupin:
Well, "he's dead, Jim" would be appropriate...

Computer voice:
[pause] Please state third password.

Lupin:
[growls and cries out in frustration] Crap!

Computer voice:
Correct. Please enter.

[a wounded Lupin is flirting with Fujiko]

Goemon Ishikawa XIII:
Disgust burns from within me.

Zenigata:
Laugh it up, Lupin, but where you're going, the only ones who will be laughing will be the worms!

Lupin:
Oh no, you guys, he's threatening us with 20 years up his butt!

Goemon:
This is the best thing on tv since "My Three Samurai"

Lupin:
[about to snag some cases of money] In the words of Regis Philbin: who wants to be a millionaire?

Jigen:
This is just like one of those quests by that greek guy. What was his name?

Goemon:
Odysseus

Lupin:
Gezhuntheit

Jigen:
Now what was his name?

Goemon:
Odysseus

Jigen:
You ok, Goemon?

Goemon:
No, I...

Zenigata:
[in response to finding Lupin, Jigen, and Goemon in prison] [Laughs] It's Christmas in July! [laughs] Everything I asked Santa for! [laughs] You look pathetic!

Fujiko Mine:
[scamming and romancing a Frenchman] But of course, "mein petite escargot".

Frenchman:
"Your little... snail"?

Computer voice:
Please state the first password.

Ars?ne Lupin III:
We don't like the Beatles.

Computer voice:
Please state second password.

Daisuke Jigen:
After all, Presley is still number one.

Computer voice:
Please state third password.

Both:
What?

Daisuke Jigen:
What third password?

Ars?ne Lupin III:
I didnt know there was one...

Computer voice:
State third password, please.

Ars?ne Lupin III:
[yelling, frustrated] There isn't one!

Computer voice:
"There isn't one" is correct. you may enter.

Goemon:
They will be fine-ish.

Lupin:
You, uh, you are a real doctor, right?

Doctor:
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's right.

[repeated line]

Zenigata:
You're under arrest, Lupin!

[changing behind a curtain]

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Sorry, but if you want to see more you'll have to pay in candy and cigarettes like everyone else!

Lupin:
[to security camera] Sorry, but if you wanna see me naked, you're just going to have to offer candy and cigarettes like everyone else!

Fujiko Mine:
Got a backup-backup plan, Lupin?

Lupin:
Oh, sure! Just turn around while I pull it out of the usual place!

[Lupin, Jigen, and Goemon have been tapping Morse Code to each other from their jail cells]

Jail Security Guard:
Hey, knock it off with that tapping in there! You're driving us crazy!

Lupin:
Oh, sorry. But you're not officially crazy until you go

[makes funny face]

Lupin:
BLEH! BLEH! BLEH!

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
I'm not giving up! I'll chase you to hell and back!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
We'll go broke if he keeps his mind on us...

[Zenigata is having lunch in Paris]

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
A big glass of cheap wine, bread you can break your teeth on and they call this eating! No wonder they can't win a war... [falls off his chair]

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
I'd kill for a double cheeseburger and some fries...

[Zenigata receives a letter]

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
What? A letter? Nice! I wonder if it's from Mother...

[checks the sender's name]

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
LUPIN?

[tears the envelope and reads the letter inside]

Ars?ne Lupin III:
"Hey, Pops, you know that famous bottle of wine that's going to Washington for the President? Well, it's not. Catch you later, Lupin. P.S. Don't you EVER take that coat off?"

[Zenigata storms around the room in a rage]

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
That no-good thief's just taunting me! Damn you!

[hurls the bread into a car, wrecking it]

[down in a cellar]

Fujiko Mine:
This would be real homey if I were a spider or a corpse...

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Actually, it's perfect for wine storage! You see, the coolness and the dark allow it to age without spoiling.

Goemon Ishikawa XIII:
So this must be the place where Dick Clark lived...

Daisuke Jigen:
Lupin, let's just grab this bottle and vamoose, okay?

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Sure, it's, uh, right over there. [points to a room full of wine bottles]

Daisuke Jigen:
Uh, could you be just a little bit more specific?

Fujiko Mine:
How in the world are we ever going to find it?

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Well, uh, I'm pretty certain the bottle's green. [all the bottles are green]

Daisuke Jigen:
[sarcastic] Well, that's a lot of help.

[note to Zenigata]

Ars?ne Lupin III:
"Dear Inspector: In recognition of your nearly successful efforts, here's some really cheap crap. HA!"

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Don't make me kill you. That wouldn't make either of us happy.

[spying on Conaiseau]

Daisuke Jigen:
It sounds like they're getting ready to hit the road. Yeah, you called it, Lupin.

Ars?ne Lupin III:
I still can't figure it, though. This guy's nuts. At least with Pops, it's all, you know, pretty damn... predictable.

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
[suddenly appears] Well, well!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Usually, anyway!

Daisuke Jigen:
[about Lupin] Everyone has an Achilles heel, and his just happens to be in his pants!

[chased by a mob of angry women]

Conaiseau:
That's no way to charm a lady!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Oh, like I'm gonna take lessons from you!

[about Lupin]

Goemon Ishikawa XIII:
He's got the attention span of a flea!

Daisuke Jigen:
And a horny teenaged flea at that.

Daisuke Jigen:
[looking through binoculars] Hang on a second. On that island up ahead, there's a sign. It looks like it says something like "Nature Camp."

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Nature what? Are you sure you got that right?

Daisuke Jigen:
[shocked] You're not gonna believe this... holy crap!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
What is it? What's the matter?

Daisuke Jigen:
Well, it's... you gotta see this. [Lupin looks for himself]

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Wha-wha-wowow! Now THAT's what I call a Nature Camp! Damn, I love my work! Wha-wha-hahaha-wowow! WE'RE GONNA SEE NAKED LADIES!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Hey, Pops! Nice of you to drop by. What are you in for?

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
Good gravy! Lupin, you're actually locked up!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Very good. So tell me, what eventually gave it away? Was it my handsome face?

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
Handsome? That monkey face of yours would even scare away other monkeys, you idiot!

Bonnie Parker:
Hey, Clyde, what in the hell's the matter with these guys? Ain't they never heard of the famous bank-robbing team of Bonnie and Clyde before? I tell ya, the school system in this country's going down the drain.

Daisuke Jigen:
Yeah, I heard of 'em. Did some real damage way back in the Depression - that is, before they got riddled full of holes by the Feds in a shootout.

Daisuke Jigen:
[to Clyde] Old man, let me give you a little piece of advice: from now on, just stick to mynah birds. They're a whole lot more reliable than women are.

[Lupin has successfully managed to get the two feuding sisters in the same room together naked]

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Illuminating tattoos!... Thanks a lot! [GTFO as fast as possible]

[an insomniac Fujiko bangs on Lupin's door in the middle of the night]

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Oh man, when the hell's this potion ever gonna wear off?... I'm too tired to appreciate the irony... [goes back to sleep]

Goemon Ishikawa XIII:
[Exiting a dragon's mouth carrying its liver] Wait a minute. Did I leave my wallet in there? Crap.

[During a firefight, Jigen gets his hat shot off]

Daisuke Jigen:
Damn it! [he tries to retrieve it but a hail of bullets keeps him away]

Goemon Ishikawa XIII:
Sorry, but you're going to have to finish this one without your hat! Now come on!

Daisuke Jigen:
They've got no idea what terrible fury they've just unleashed...

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
Hey, those were my cigarettes! It's a travesty! It's a sham! It's a travesty of a mockery of a sham!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Help! I'm being eaten by a quaint folk legend!

Daisuke Jigen:
Careful, Lupin! You nearly cracked my frigging skull!

Dr. Oz:
[to Jigen] I believe that beard disqualifies you from weighing in on matters of taste.

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
Nowhere to run, Lupin! It's the end of the line!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
You really need to think about getting a life, Pops.

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
Grr! Tell you what, Lupin, I'll get a life... as soon as you get life behind bars!

Goemon Ishikawa XIII:
Well, so much for the proverbial honour among thieves...

Fujiko Mine:
[about the golden van] Ooh, I just love the look of it, but I'm afraid a solid gold van might draw attention.

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Oh, no! Tell me we don't have to paint it now!

Fujiko Mine:
Only the gold part.

Goemon Ishikawa XIII:
So, Zenigata gets the gold and we get the girl.

Daisuke Jigen:
Ugh! Don't rub it in!

Lupin:
I should have listened to my dear old grandfather. He always used to say, "Stick to real women, sonny!"

Zenigata:
Damn good advice.

Lupin:
You know, another one of his favorite sayings was... [steps on Zenigata's toes] "Watch your step!"

[Zenigata is honored for stopping the doctor]

Daisuke Jigen:
We stopped that machine, we should get an award too.

Fujiko Mine:
Such an award isn't worth a penny!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Hey Pops, why don't you straighten out the Leaning Tower of Pisa?

[after a long chase from Onabes]

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Okay, you win! I give up! But pre-marital sex is out of the question!

Onabes:
As they say in my country, "dsjd, dspj! ndsfilajanpw!"

Ars?ne Lupin III:
What does that mean?

Onabes:
It means: "I want you, I must have you! Let me take you and start a family!" [a flabbergasted Lupin gets tackled by Onabes]

Onabes:
I absolutely refuse to let you off this liner unless you agree to marry me!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
WHAT? That's impossible! [gets kissed; he flips Onabes over in a judo grip]

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Snap out of it!

Onabes:
Oh yeah baby, treat me like a hamburger! [Lupin covers his mouth and flees]

Daisuke Jigen:
Yo, Pops!

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
Yo yourself, yah damn bastard ayata! [tackles Jigen]

Daisuke Jigen:
What the... hey!

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
What the hell kind of a partner are you anyway? How could you just let him walk inside like that?

[Upon hearing of Lupin's death, Goemon and Jigen have hysterics and run out of the house]

Daisuke Jigen:
LUPIN!... LUPIN! SHOW YOUR FACE, YOU SONOFABITCH! WHERE ARE YOU? [Jigen shoots out lamp bulbs, while Goemon strikes down every tree in his path. Both eventually break down crying]

[On hearing of Lupin's death, Zenigata goes insane with grief and rage]

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
LUPIN! I'LL GET YOU, YOU SONOFABITCH! [tears out of the house]

[Lupin's epitaph]

Ars?ne Lupin III:
"Here Lies Lupin, Fujiko-less / At least if she visits, he can look up her dress."

[driving down the road]

Ars?ne Lupin III:
[listening to rock] Grooving down the road, top down, cranking the good stuff: This is the reason God invented America!

Daisuke Jigen:
Oh, please! What are you, fourteen?

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Hey, I remember how we used to hit the clubs together every other night. What the hell happened, Jigen?

Daisuke Jigen:
Yeah, I used to suck my thumb too. Classical music is the ONLY stuff! [switches the radio to classical music, to Lupin's dismay; Goemon grabs the radio from Jigen]

Daisuke Jigen:
Huh? What're you... hey!

Goemon Ishikawa XIII:
Enka's the stuff! Listen to this... [switches the radio to Japanese blues, to BOTH Lupin and Jigen's dismay]

[seeing Zenigata rescue the same women Lupin rescued]

Daisuke Jigen:
Either that little blonde cupcake's having a real bad week, or something fishy's going on...

Daisuke Jigen:
Hey, I got an idea. Maybe I could dress up in a bikini.

Goemon Ishikawa XIII:
...And what? Scare them into submission?

Goemon Ishikawa XIII:
[to Jigen] Okay, bikini boy, cover me!

Daisuke Jigen:
Hey, I don't like the sound of this... And don't say anything. You know what I mean.

Goemon Ishikawa XIII:
That's cause I have a degree in Jigen-ese.

[after a reporter is found dead at the party]

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Look at these guys. I don't know who's colder, them or that body they just took away.

Fujiko Mine:
Think about it. A man drops dead at a party, the host implores everyone to just resume dancing, and they do.

Ars?ne Lupin III:
I know, I know. I never should've accepted that stupid invitation to begin with.

Daisuke Jigen:
It's frigging careless, Lupin. How many times do we have to frigging warn yah? But you had to impress frigging Fujiko, and isn't that frigging ironic now?

Ars?ne Lupin III:
You're right. I'm a frigging idiot. I was thinking with my frigging pants and now I'm in big frigging trouble!

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
Ha! Lupin, this is great! Never thought I'd show up, huh? Officer, arrest this man immediately!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
[disguise] Hey! I'm Zenigata! You're an impostor!

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
You liar! I'm the only inspector Zenigata in this room, dammit! I'm telling you that guy there is Lupin the Third!

Daisuke Jigen:
Ooh, a ballerina with balls. I like that...

Daisuke Jigen:
What's so great about the States, anyway?

[about to be blindfolded]

Daisuke Jigen:
You know where you can put that...?

[about to be executed by a Soviet firing squad]

Daisuke Jigen:
What a way to go out...

[last lines]

Daisuke Jigen:
[looking at his passport] Mr and Mrs Ivanov... [throws it in the air]

Daisuke Jigen:
Here's a divorce! [pulls out his gun and shoots through the passport]

Ars?ne Lupin III:
[in a note to his friends] "Hey guys, I don't know if you've heard about this or not, but the Sirloin is the first of an entirely new class of super-luxury liner. It's absolutely incredible. It makes the Queen Mary look like a minnow. Anyway, she's leaving for Lisbon on the 3rd for her maiden round-the-world voyage, and since it sounded like a great excuse for a reunion, I took the liberty of booking passage for all of us. So, don't have any regrets, just be there. Lupin."

[looking at a model of the boat and its many levels]

Daisuke Jigen:
Restaurants... plush theatre... pool... cocktail lounges... ski jump... football field... race track... state-of-the-art security... This isn't a boat, it's frigging Las Vegas with seagulls! Well, I say let the good times roll on!

[Jigen finds Goemon on the ship's deck listening to enka]

Daisuke Jigen:
I thought I'd find you here listening to elevator music! It's five years later, Goemon, and you're still listening to that crap!

Goemon Ishikawa XIII:
Yes, and five years later you still haven't quit smoking, have you, Jigen? Perhaps you need a little assistance. Here, let me help you...

[slices Jigen's pipe in half]

Daisuke Jigen:
Wow, you have a cigarette holder. Nice! I guess you must have stolen it from some other guy while you were holding his OTHER cigarette...

Fujiko Mine:
It's nice to see that your wit hasn't lost its edge in five years, Jigen.

[a plane flies overhead, and a man jumps from it... ]

Fujiko Mine:
[shocked] Somebody's committing suicide!

Daisuke Jigen:
Nah, the plane's too low, check out the attitude. Someone's gonna make a grand entrance!

[at dinner]

Ars?ne Lupin III, Daisuke Jigen, Goemon Ishikawa XIII, Fujiko Mine:
Cheers!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Sorry I'm late, I had a minor matter to attend to.

Daisuke Jigen:
Tell me about it, I'm guessing you had to lift a Van Gogh or even two to pay for all of our tickets!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Huh?

Daisuke Jigen:
Hey, whatever! Any guy who's willing to shell out this kind of cash to treat his old friends to a good time is aces with me!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Hey, wait a minute, what do you mean? Whoa, back up! What do you mean, treat you?

[Confused, Jigen, Goemon and Fujiko show Lupin the letters he sent them]

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Huh?... Well, I hate to break it to you guys, but I got one too!

[takes out a letter and gives it to Fujiko]

Fujiko Mine:
[reading the letter] "My darling Lupin, you've been in my dreams every night for five long years. Oh, darling, I can't bear being apart from you any longer, I simply have to see you immediately. Rendezvous with me at the Sirloin liner, and we shall be together forever. Your love, Fujiko." Oh, please! That doesn't sound anything like me!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Or smell like you!

[sniffs the letter]

Fujiko Mine:
What's that?

Ars?ne Lupin III:
There's not even a trace of Chanel No 5. Trust me, I nearly stuck the whole thing up my nose.

Daisuke Jigen:
So this is just a steaming pile of...

Goemon Ishikawa XIII:
Very bad karma.

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Exactly, my friends! We've all fallen into someone's very ingenious trap!

Daisuke Jigen:
Not you, though! You figured it out for a trap, Lupin, and you waltzed right into it anyway! What the hell's up with that?

Ars?ne Lupin III:
I don't know about it, Jigen, but I like to know who my enemies are, and the sooner they show their hand the sooner I can show them mine!

Goemon Ishikawa XIII:
We must remain as vigilant as the owl.

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Exactly...

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
[roar of triumph] I've got you cornered at last!

[runs towards Lupin's table]

Ars?ne Lupin III:
[excited, jumps up and kisses Zenigata] Zenigata! At last! Pops, it's been so long! Oh, I've missed you so much!

[sits down]

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Hey, I heard you were transferred to some pot-of-crap hole since the last time we slipped through your fingers! Pretty slow work for a fine investigative mind like yours, but I'm sure you didn't let the tedium get to you...

[Lupin imagines Zenigata going mad from boredom]

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
Oh, yeah? Well, here these are YOUR transfer papers, wise guy, straight from maximum security! Read it and weep!

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
Hold on now! Are you really Lupin?

Ars?ne Lupin III:
That's what my mother called me!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Sorry to disappoint you, but you don't ave any authority to arrest me on this ship, Inspector Zenigata!

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
Are you blind? I have a warrant right here!

[brandishes the warrant]

Ars?ne Lupin III:
I know, and it's a lovely one too, except for one little thing: There's no watermark. And as you know, without a watermark it's not considered legal in a court of law!

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
[examines the warrant] Huh?... It's a forgery! How in the world could that have happened?

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Well, what do you know? Looks like Pops here has been lured into the same exact trap as the rest of us!

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
[bursting into tears] No no no no no! It's not fair! It's just not fair!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Hey, take it easy Pops, there's not nuch any of us can do right now but hang around and wait. Have a drink, take a load off!

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
Huh?... Why should I, huh?

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Let's shake on it, huh?

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
You're nuts! Shake on what?

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Our temporary inter-alliance agreement! Here's the deal, listen up: Right now we join forces to defeat our mutual enemies, and after that I'm all yours! What do you say, Pops? Do we partner up or not?

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
Hmmm... well, all right. But how the heck are we supposed to smoke out these bad guys?

Ars?ne Lupin III:
By just sitting back, enjoying the cruise and playing dumb. Sooner or later they're bound to make their move and then we'll see what's what! So what do you say, Old Man, are you in or are you out?

[Zenigata considers this proposal]

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Deal? Come on, we'll seal it, the old-fashioned way!

[spits on his palm and hlds it out. aAfter a pause, Zenigata brusquely shakes it]

Daisuke Jigen:
Hey, either I'm really loaded, or the ceiling's getting closer...

[points upwards]

Daisuke Jigen:
These are hard times for innocent bystanders...

[last lines]

Fujiko Mine:
Though the ship was built for revenge, 1.2 trillion yen has gone into the ocean. Such a waste!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
You know what was a waste? That annoying Pops, who followed me everywhere, went down with the ship too. I feel so empty inside.

Daisuke Jigen:
Flowers fall in a storm. Farewells are a part of life.

Goemon Ishikawa XIII:
Rest in peace, Inspector Zenigata. [all four have a moment of silent prayer]

Ars?ne Lupin III:
[cries] Pops...

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
HEY! Wait, wait Lupin, wait! Lupin!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
[pleased] We thought you'd died, but it was like Sleeping Beauty! Now our eternal chase begins again! Let's go, guys!

Fujiko Mine:
[about the ruby] If diamonds are a girl's best friend, well then something that rare's got to be more like a lover.

Ars?ne Lupin III:
You're not fooling me! I saw "The Wizard of Oz" 100 times!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
I don't suppose there was anything in that local legend about a secret ski lift to the top of this thing, was there?

Daisuke Jigen:
There's got to be something we haven't thought of. I mean, it's not impossible. Whoever pinched that ruby figured it out.

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Sure, that's great, rub it in! Not only is it a personal failure, it's also a professional humiliation!

Daisuke Jigen:
Man, don't call me Shirley.

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
[talking in his sleep] Lupin! You sonofabitch! I swear I'll get you, if it's the last thing I...

Ars?ne Lupin III:
I'm always choosing! Sex and money, and money and sex! I'm only human!

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
LUPIN! You finally slipped up, you bastard, now you won't get away! [handcuffs his bedpost]

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
Everything's peaceful and beautiful now, I can dream of anything I want to, like Mama...

Goemon Ishikawa XIII:
Goemon Ishikawa is in da house!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
How dare you think of using my ruby and Fujiko for something like that!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
[fiddling with thumbcuffs on his hand] I don't dare set foot outside wearing this fleschuganah thing on my pinkie! I mean, what if it's some weird code that says I wanna get spanked by a skinhead or something?

Goemon Ishikawa XIII:
You promised me that there would be a Japanese restaurant here in Barcelona!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Look, I apologize...!

Goemon Ishikawa XIII:
An empty apology, for an empty stomach!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Goemon, I said I'd make it up to you! Now are you coming or not? [Goemon sits still while his belly rumbles]

Ars?ne Lupin III:
I'll take that as a no...

[a hungry Goemon slices a shooting star in half]

Goemon Ishikawa XIII:
Damn it!

[Zenigata chases Lupin, who is disguised as Zenigata]

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
All right, now, nice and easy, Inspector... grr, I mean, Lupin! Damn it! Now you got ME confused!

Fujiko Mine:
Lupin, it's a pleasure to see you. I assume you have something to share with all of us.

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Yep. Here it is. [hands Fujiko a small bag]

Fujiko Mine:
What? This is all of it?

Daisuke Jigen:
I don't get it. You're saying that's all there was? I mean, that won't even cover the truck rental!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Martino went nuts and I just, I don't know, you know, something hit me...

Daisuke Jigen:
You mean like on the head?

Fujiko Mine:
Well, I think he means somewhere else.

Goemon Ishikawa XIII:
Pity never did a man any good.

[Lupin and Zenigata disguise themselves as burkha-wearing women]

Vendor:
[to Lupin] Excuse me, is that your sister? I am very besotted with her, I would like to marry her very much! I will give you my donkey, and enough goat testicles to cater to a wedding feast! They are of the very finest qualiy...

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
[reveals himself] Yeah, well so are MINE!

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
Laura! LAURA!

[Zenigata dangles a frog in front of Fujiko]

Fujiko Mine:
EWWW! That's SICK! What's wrong with you?

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
You forgot how long I've been chasing you guys. I know everything about you, your greatest fears! [Zenigata moves closer to Fujiko with the frog; she screams and faints]

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
[on Pomade's death] Some millionaire bites the big one, so what? Would he have cared if I died?

[Lupin finds Zenigata in his bedroom]

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Contrary to what you might have heard, my bed is not a drive-through!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Whoa! Get a load of this! It's Pops, and he's being chased by somebody. And there's a girl with him, and she's hot! What the hell is wrong with this picture?

Daisuke Jigen:
Well, if you're right, it's the end of the frigging world!

Jigen:
[after watching two hitmen kill each other in a gang fight Lupin orchestrated] You know what? We really don't get nearly enough credit for all the good things we do in this world.

Goemon:
Umm-hmm. And after we die they'll all be wondering why things really suck.

Daisuke Jigen:
Hey, a little respect if you don't mind! I know these feet like the back of my hand, and when they itch like this something bad always happens! I'd be careful what I say around them, they're very sensitive soles.

Daisuke Jigen:
[about Lupin] The guy's obsessed, he could probably bench-press Shaq!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Love is a mystery, isn't it?

[at the museum]

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Well, they sure tightened up the security.

Goemon Ishikawa XIII:
No surprise there.

Ars?ne Lupin III:
It's okay. Tomorrow the whole exhibit hits the road again. That's even better in a way, right?

Daisuke Jigen:
[appears] Sounds like fun.

Ars?ne Lupin III:
You're in? What turned you into a sentimental fool all of a sudden?

Daisuke Jigen:
Nothing. I just figured the sooner we get this charity gig over with, the sooner we can get back to being selfish jerks again.

[the trio notice that the transmitter on the painting is still active despite the painting being buried with Sharaku]

Daisuke Jigen:
Hey, what the hell's going on? Weren't you supposed to take the transmitter off the real one?

Ars?ne Lupin III:
I guess I must've forgot. But...

Daisuke Jigen:
So that means Goemon's ancestor is walking around on its own.

Ars?ne Lupin III, Goemon Ishikawa XIII:
Huh?

[spotting two familiar faces at the museum]

Inspector Kouichi Zenigata:
Hey, wait a minute! I recognize them even from their backs!

[after tricking Fujiko]

Daisuke Jigen:
You know, I still say that broad ain't nothing but trouble. But little moments like these kinda make it all worth while somehow.

Ars?ne Lupin III:
[removes his disguise] I just paid a very high price for this, I have a feeling. But you know, I gotta admit it, fellas, it sure does feel good.

[Fujiko discovers the fake Sharaku tied up in the boot of her car]

Fujiko Mine:
I get it. They found you and you just sang like a canary, huh? Couldn't you have just improvised or something? I thought that was on your resume!

Ars?ne Lupin III:
I stole a WHAT? A CAT? That eats PENCIL SHAVINGS?

Ars?ne Lupin III:
Why would anyone want to steal something so stupid anyway?