The Royle Family

The Royle Family

The Royle Family was a British television sitcom produced by ITV Studios for the BBC, which ran for three series from 1998–2000, and specials from 2006–12. It centres on the lives of a scruffy television-fixated Manchester family, the Royles, comprising family patriarch Jim Royle (Ricky Tomlinson), his wife Barbara (Sue Johnston), their daughter Denise (Caroline Aherne), their son Antony (Ralf Little) and Denise's fiancé (later husband) David (Craig Cash). The series features simple production values and a stereotypical portrayal of working-class family life at the turn of the millennium. It therefore has something in common with kitchen sink drama. Almost all of the episodes take place in the Royles' home, largely in the telly-centric living room, with the humour derived from the conversations held therein. Aherne and Cash co-wrote every episode, along with Henry Normal (series one), Carmel Morgan (series two), and Phil Mealey (five Christmas specials). A sixth special episode was set to be written, but Aherne died on 2 July 2016, effectively ending the programme. In a list of the 100 greatest British television programmes drawn up by the British Film Institute in 2000 and voted on by industry professionals, The Royle Family was placed 31st. In a 2004 poll to find Britain's best sitcom, The Royle Family was placed nineteenth. The series has also won several BAFTA awards.

Year:
1998
18,557 Views

Jim Royle:
The Queen of Bloody Sheba has only stolen the batteries out of me bloody remote control!

Dave Best:
What for?

Jim Royle:
To fan her-bloody-self that's what for! So I've had to sit for an hour and watch 'Location, Location, Lo-bloody-cation'!

Dave Best:
Well, why don't you just turn it over at the telly?

Jim Royle:
Because that's what she wants, can't you see that? Me up and down like a blue arse fly! She's the puppet master! "pulling the strings, up and down up and down" You've got Barbra wiping her arse and plucking her bloody chin every half an hour, and everyone else has to empty her bag because she's too lazy top go for a bloody piss! And do you know what the crafty old cow's done now, the wicked old witch? She's stole the bloody battaries out of my bloody remote! Ya know what? Everything in this house revolves around her now!

Dave Best:
I've not noticed.

Jim Royle:
You've not noticed? Bloody hell lad, she's been lying on her back for the past six months where we used to sit and have our tea! And you haven't noticed? Bloody hell Dave! You go in that room and you tell Barbra I will not set foot in that room until I get me bloody batteries back in that!

Dave Best:
Barbra, Jim said "he's not setting foot in that room until he get's his batteries back"

Barbara Royle:
See what I mean Denise? Well you can tell him he can get off his big fat arse and go and get the batteries from the shop

Dave Best:
She said "you can get off your big fat arse and go and get the batteries from the shop"

Jim Royle:
Well you can tell her that if I do have to go to the shop and buy batteries, that have been stolen from my bloody remote, I won't be coming back!

Dave Best:
Barbra... hang on, what did you say Jim?

Jim Royle:
If I do have to go to the shop and buy batteries, that have been stolen from my remote, I won't be coming back!

Dave Best:
He says "if he has to got to the shop, he won't be coming back"

Barbara Royle:
Well you tell him if he thinks more of his remote control then he does of his own family he needn't bother coming back!

Dave Best:
She said...

Jim Royle:
I know what she said, I'm not bloody deaf Dave! I heard her you bloody great streak of piss! Go on, piss off!


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