Arthur, Season 4 (1999)

Francine steps into a boxing ring inside a large stadium. A microphone comes down.

Francine:
Presenting the main event! The champion, Arthurrrrr Read!

Arthur:
[walks to the ring while people cheer and throw flowers and climbs into the ring] I've been waiting for this fight for years. There's no way I can lose.

Francine:
And the challenger, Dora Winifred Read!

[D.W. rides down a ramp on her bicycle and does a somersault into the ring. She is wearing a bicycle helmet and has a unicorn on the back of her robe. Buster takes off Arthur’s robe. D.W. takes off hers and reveals a shirt with a picture of Arthur’s head with Xs for eyes. Buster puts Arthur’s gloves on. Nadine waves her wand and gloves appear on D.W.’s hands. Both Arthur and D.W. get mouth guards. Francine waves both to the center of the ring.]

Arthur:
(incoherent) Prepare to lose!

D.W. #1:
What?

Arthur:
(incoherent) I said PREPARE TO LOSE!!!

D.W. #1:
[points at the subtitles] This doesn't help. I can't read.

Francine:
Ge-e-et ready to fight!

[The two boxers circle each other]

D.W. #2:
Arthur!

Arthur:
[sees D.W. sitting in the audience eating snacks] (incoherent) Two D.W.’s?!

D.W. #2:
No, not two D.W.s. There's only one of me.

In the ring, the other boxer takes off a D.W. mask, revealing himself to be Binky. Arthur’s mouthguard drops out of his mouth.

Binky:
We figured you'd rather fight someone your own size.

Arthur:
You know. You're right. I would love to fight someone my own size. You wait here. I'll go find someone. [runs off, pursued by Binky, screams]

Binky:
[enraged] Come back and fight!

D.W.:
[laughs] Binky?!

Arthur sits at his desk with a model kit

D.W.:
[walks into his room] What kind of a game is that?

Arthur:
It's not a game. It's a scale model of a Bell X-1 Rocket Plane. The plane that broke the sound barrier.

D.W.:
The sound barrier must be pretty hard. [takes out some pieces] Because this plane is all smashed up.

Arthur:
It's not smashed. I'm gonna build it. [angrily screams at D.W. while snatching the pieces from her] Stop touching everything! You'll mix up the pieces!

D.W.:
I’ve never heard of toys that come already broken.

Arthur:
[angrily tries to strangle D.W. while glaring at her] No, it's not!

D.W.:
[backs up from her angrier brother] I'm going. Never say I don't go when you want me to go, because I'm going. Like that. [snaps her fingers] The minute you want me to go, I'm on my way out of here. No waiting.

Arthur:
[turns red with angriest and screams at D.W.] Go already!

D.W.:
And if you say please, I go even faster. Because when the...

Arthur:
[angrily growls at D.W. and kicks her out of his room] Go away!

The next day, Arthur paints the model in the dining room. D.W. suddenly appears beside him.

D.W.:
Is that the same broken plane you were fixing yesterday?

Arthur:
[furiously yells at D.W.] Don't do that! I need to concentrate!

D.W.:
That's a pretty color. [accidentally spills a paint bottle of orange paint over the building instructions which pisses Arthur off]

D.W.:
[nervous laugh] Bye!

Later, Arthur and Buster walk upstairs

Arthur:
I've been working the plane all week. It's hard, but I'm almost done. [They enter Arthur’s room and find D.W. holding the plane’s fuselage and Arthur gets pissed off and furiously screams at her] D.W., don't touch that!! The paint isn't dry! [angrily snatches the plane away and sees fingerprints all over it. D.W.’s fingers are colored orange]

D.W.:
Ew!! [runs out to tell her mom] Mommy, Arthur made my hands orange!

Buster:
I never thought about it before, but being an only child is nice.

Later, Arthur puts the finished model on a stool in his room.

Arthur:
It's the best thing I've ever made.

In his imagination, Arthur sits on a table on a stage. Beside him sits an astronaut.

Astronaut:
Arthur Read. You win the blue ribbon. [puts the ribbon on the model]

Arthur flies the Bell X-1.

The fantasy ends

Arthur:
This calls for a celebration snack! [walks downstairs with Pal]

D.W.:
[comes out of her room] Did I hear you say cookies? [sees the plane in Arthur’s room and foolishly sneaks inside]

Arthur:
[gives a dog treat to Pal] Good boy!

D.W.:
[runs around holding the plane] D.W. Read to headquarters! Sound barrier broken! What's my next mission, General? [sees the open window]

Arthur:
[pretends to be an airplane, makes airplane noises] Arthur Read, winner of 5000 blue ribbons, requesting landing coordinates! [makes airplane noises]

Outside the window, the model plane falls to the ground

D.W.:
[comes down] Arthur. You made that plane all wrong. It doesn't fly at all.

Arthur:
No, D.W. I made it exactly ri... [realizes what D.W. said] What?!

Outside the house, the sky has become gray.

Arthur:
[looks up at the open window, then down at his smashed plane, gasps, picks up the broken fuselage and looks shocked and terrified]

In his imagination, he flies the plane, but it suddenly falls to pieces. He hovers in midair for a second, then he falls, followed by his helmet and, finally, his glasses.

Arthur:
[screaming]

The fantasy ends

D.W.:
If it could break the sound barrier, falling out of a window shouldn't be able to break it!

Arthur:
[angrily confronts D.W.] I told you not to touch it!

D.W.:
You built it all wrong! Did you even read the directions? [Having enough of D.W., Arthur furiously grits his teeth and really tightly makes a fist] It didn't fly for one second! It's not my fault if you made a plane that can't fly!

Arthur:
[furiously] I told you... NOT TO TOUCH IT! [angrily punches D.W.]

D.W.:
[falls down on the ground and runs away, crying in pain]

Arthur bends to pick up the plane when he hears his mother

Mrs. Read:
Arthur Timothy Read, come here!

Arthur:
[apprehensive] Uh-oh. Middle name. [gets up]

D.W.:
[cries on the kitchen counter]

Her father gets an ice pack from the refrigerator

D.W.:
[crying] Are they gonna have to "amputake" my arm?

Mr. Read:
No, honey, it's "amputate," not "amputake."

D.W.:
[shrieking] They're gonna amputate?!

Mr. Read:
No. I'm in charge and I'm putting ice on you.

D.W.:
[screaming and crying]

Mr. Read:
What's wrong?

D.W.:
[crying] That's cold!

Arthur and his mother stand in the hallway

Mrs. Read:
Apologize to your sister.

Arthur:
No way! She should apologize to me! I worked all week on this! I told her a million times not to touch it!

Mr. Read carries D.W.

D.W.:
You're bad!

A while later, Arthur sits on a chair in the living room facing his parents

Mr. Read:
Arthur, this means no TV for a week.

Arthur:
[dismayed] What?! That is so unfair! [angrily turns away] You don't even care what she did to me!

Mrs. Read:
We'll deal with what she did, but what you did is wrong, too.

Arthur:
[angrily huffs]

The next morning, Arthur and Buster arrive at school

Arthur:
[sulking] So I missed Bionic Bunny last night, and I can't watch TV all week! Can you believe that?!

Buster:
No, I don't believe it. You hit your sister? That's terrible!

Arthur:
Oh, come on, like you never hit anybody!

Buster:
Nope.

Binky:
Did you hear that? Arthur hit his sister! I, for one, am shocked!

Dog Boy:
How could you be shocked about someone hitting someone?

Binky:
Why not?

Molly:
You're Binky Barnes, you always... You know, I can't remember the last time you hit anybody.

Binky:
Wh-what do you mean? [hears the bell ring] There's the bell! Ha, don't want to be late.

The Tough Customers corner Binky at his locker

Molly:
So, when was it, Bink?

Dog Boy:
Binky does not have to remind us of his past glorious fights.

Binky:
That's right.

Dog Boy:
That he is not afraid of no one is a well-established factoid.

Binky:
That's right.

Dog Boy:
And he can prove it easily by socking the very next kid who turns that corner!

Binky:
That's right. [shocked] What?!

Molly:
Go ahead, Binky. Sock him!

Binky:
[stubbornly] Maybe I don't feel like it.

Molly:
You better feel like it or you're out of the club.

Binky:
[enraged] I can't be out of the club! It's my club. I founded it!

Molly:
If you wanted everything your own way, you shouldn't have let anyone else join. The next time you see that kid, you sock him!

Binky:
[worried] The next time I see Arthur, I have to hit him. Oh, what can I do? [gets an idea] Hey! What if I never see him?

Arthur sits in the classroom with Buster, Francine and Muffy. Binky walks into the room while keeping his back turned to Arthur

Francine:
Arthur, why didn't you just apologize?

Arthur:
[still pissed off] Oh, come on! She wrecked my plane! Why can't anybody see my side of this?

Muffy:
Uh, because you're wrong.

Francine:
[turns to Binky at the next table] Hey, Binky. Did you hear that Arthur hit his little sister?

Binky:
Well, I haven't seen Arthur. As far as I know, Arthur isn't even here.

Francine:
Binky is so upset about what Arthur did that he won't even look at him.

Class has started

Mr. Ratburn:
When the day and night are of equal length, it's called the equinox.

The bell rings and Binky immediately runs out

Molly:
You socked that kid yet?

Binky:
Haven't see him. [walks away] I am so smart.

Binky:
[waits outside the school cafeteria] Psst. Hey, is Arthur in there?

Francine:
Yeah.

Binky:
I'll just eat outside then. [walks away]

Francine:
Binky won't even eat near Arthur.

Buster:
That's awful. We should bring them together. Arthur will thank us.

Shortly afterwards, Binky is having lunch on the lawn behind the school

Buster:
[drags Arthur out of the door] Binky's out here somewhere.

Binky:
Er.. oof! [jumps into a bush]

Sue Ellen:
I'll get it! Thanks. [stops and comes back] Binky? What are you doing?

Binky:
Avoiding Arthur. If I don't see him, I don't have to hit him.

Sue Ellen:
Oh. Why would you want to hit Arthur?

Binky:
I don't. That's why I don't wanna see him.

Sue Ellen:
Hmm... Boys. [walks away]

Binky:
[paces outside the boys’ room] Is Arthur in there?

Brain:
[shakes his head] No.

Binky:
[runs in, very relieved] Oh... Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you so much!

After recess, the kids come inside

Arthur:
[talks to Fern] She broke my plane!

Fern:
But she's just a little girl.

Arthur:
[angrily] Saying D.W.'s just a little girl is like saying a tornado's just a little wind.

Binky is hiding behind an ornamental plant

Buster:
[stands beside him] Hey, Arthur! Over here!

Binky:
Shh! [violently grabs Buster and angrily pulls him behind the plant]

Arthur:
Thought someone called my name.

The school bell rings and the kids leave the building

Binky:
[holds an open book around his head] I made it through one whole day. Now only... the rest of my life to go.

Binky, Molly, Rattles and the Dog Boy walk past the Sugar Bowl

Binky:
So I never saw that glasses kid again. Probably never will.

Arthur:
[runs after them] Hey, Binky! You dropped your pen when you ran out of school, kind of sideways, at the end of the day.

Molly:
Here's the chance you've been waiting for.

Dog Boy:
Show him, Binky! Pop him one!

Binky:
[evilly looks around at the Tough Customers who grin expectantly and sinisterly looks at Arthur, who holds the pen, and violently hits him in his arm]

Arthur:
Ow!

Molly:
Okay, you're right. He will hit anybody.

Dog Boy:
All right, Binky! You're still in the club! Binky? Where are you going? Hey, Binky!

The tough customers run after Binky

Arthur:
[holds his arm in pain] Ow!

Arthur:
[holds the ice pack on his arm] And the next thing I knew, I was on the ground. It hurt, and it was embarrassing, and...

Mr. Read:
Well, maybe that's how D.W. felt when you punched her.

Arthur:
Maybe. But what's that got to do with this? Binky Barnes is huge!

'Mrs. Read carries D.W. to the kitchen and his parents just look at him

Arthur:
[calmly] Yeah, I guess I get it.

D.W.:
[smiles]

Arthur:
[walks into the dining room where D.W. is waiting] I'm sorry I hit you.

D.W.:
And I'm sorry I broke your plane. But what kind of a stupid plane doesn't fly?

Arthur:
A model plane.

D.W.:
Well, I didn't know. I'm just a child. Give me a break!

At the park, Binky lies on a swing looking depressed. Arthur rides by on his bike

Binky:
Arthur! Hey, I feel rotten. I want to apologize.

Arthur:
I just wanna thank you.

Binky:
[gets up] You... you what?

Arthur:
Everybody told me I was wrong and I didn't get it. [feels his balls] But... you made me understand how bad I made D.W. feel.

Binky:
Well, you're welcome. But I wouldn't try to help you learn some boring lesson. It was an accident.

The other Tough Customers come

Dog Boy:
[points to Arthur] It's the kid who got hit by Binky and lived.

Molly:
You deserve to be in our club, kid.

Binky:
[walks to Tough Customers] There is no club. I founded it and I'm de-founding it. Any club that makes you want do something you don't wanna do is dumb. Anybody want to make something of it?

Dog Boy:
Um, no.

Binky:
Come on, Arthur. Let's go get a soda.

Molly:
Aw, man. Now we’ve got no club.

Binky:
[walks up to them] You guys wanna come with us? How about we form a new club with no dumb hitting and stuff? And if anybody breaks that rule, I'll clobber 'em.

Muffy:
We could write about things that really happened to us.

Francine:
There's only one problem. Nothing's ever happened to us. They start walking home.

Arthur:
Are you kidding? What about when we first had Mr. Ratburn? We thought he was a monster.

Buster:
Right. Or when I moved away.

Francine:
I guess you could do something about when I taught Arthur to play baseball.

Mr. Ratburn:
[enters the classroom] Sorry, I'm late. Let's jump right into work.

[Just then, the lights in the classroom go out]

Mr. Haney:
Bad news! The storm is getting worse, the buildings lost electricity, so the school is closed.

[Mr. Ratburn gasps while the class cheer]

Oliver:
I tried all night, but the plower's stuck. None of the roads can get plowed now.

Francine:
Daddy, look! It's too cold to write. I have to stop doing my report.

Arthur:
Good night, Mom! Good night, Dad!

Mr. and Mrs. Read:
Good night, Arthur!

Arthur:
Good night, Mr. Ratburn!

Mr. Ratburn:
Good night, Arthur! Good night, D.W.!

D.W.:
Good night, Mr. Ragberp!

Arthur:
Good night, Pal!

[Pal barks "good night"]

Mr. Ratburn:
Good night, Pal! Will there be more cake tomorrow?

Muffy:
[shocked and plugged the ears] What in the world is that?! Turn it off!

Arthur:
Mom says I'm watching the Dark Bunny after your baby show ends!

D.W.:
Mary Moo Cow is not a baby show!