Mad Men, Season 6

Roger:
[to his psychiatrist] I'm just acknowledging that life, unlike this analysis, will eventually end, and somebody else will get the bill.

Herb:
Hello, gorgeous.

Joan:
[uncomfortable] Hello, Herb.

Herb:
Did you get all gussied up for me?

Joan:
No. I had no idea you would be darkening my doorway.

Herb:
When are you going to come out to the lot? I told I'd let you have a Jaguar for as long as you want.

Joan:
I take the bus.

Herb:
I know there's a part of you that's glad to see me.

Joan:
[looking at his gut] And I know there's a part of you that you haven't seen in years.

Don:
[to Pete] I wish you would handle clients as well as you're handling me.

Trudy:
We're done, Peter. This is over.

Pete:
You want a divorce?

Trudy:
I refuse to be a failure. I don't care what you want anymore. This is how it's going to work: You will be here only when I tell you you can be here. I'm drawing a 50-mile radius around this house, and if you so much as open your fly to urinate I will destroy you. Do you understand?

Pete:
You know what? You're going to go to bed alone tonight, and you're going to realize that you don't know anything for sure.

Trudy:
I'll live with that.

[Harry storms into a partner's meeting to confront Joan over firing his secretary]

Harry:
"Broadway Joe on Broadway". Did anybody in this room think of that? I did.

Pete:
What the hell is that?

Harry:
It's $150,000 worth of incremental business I generated while solving a problem. And for what? So I can stand outside that door and watch you all in here?

Don:
What did Dawn do?

Joan:
Well, I'm almost positive...

Harry:
Just keep listening to her, because she's a partner! You know what, I'm sorry my accomplishments happen in broad daylight, and I can't be given the same rewards.

[Joan looks away, pained]

Pete:
What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Harry:
You know damn well! The next time this group is called to order, I expect to be sitting at this table. I've actually earned it.

Don:
The greatest thing you have working for you is not the photo you take or the picture you paint; it's the imagination of the consumer. They have no budget, they have no time limit, and if you can get into that space, your ad can run all day.

Peggy:
Don't do anything stupid.

Abe:
It's too late. I'm going to Harlem in a tuxedo.

Don:
I never wanted to be the man who loves children, but... from the moment they're born... that baby comes out, and you act proud and excited, hand out cigars... but you don't feel anything, especially if you had a difficult childhood. You want to love them, but you don't. And the fact that you're faking that feeling makes you wonder if your father had the same problem. Then they get older, and you see them do something, and you feel that feeling that you've been pretending to have. You feel like your heart is going to explode.

Megan:
[about Don] He's so far away. Sometimes when we're alone I feel like I'm making conversation.

Marie:
Darling, you have confounded everyone's expectations. And it is very hard to stand next to someone giving an autograph.

Megan:
He doesn't even care.

Marie:
Of course he does, but he may think that you belong more to other people than to him.

Megan:
[in French] Maybe.

Marie:
[in French] It's easily fixed. Don't dress like his wife. The only thought he should have at this meal is how quickly he can get between your legs.

Joan:
[to Don] Just once, I would like to hear you use the word "we". Because we're all rooting for you from the sidelines, hoping that you'll decide what's right for our lives!

Roger:
Come on in, Burt. Have a seat.

Burt Peterson:
[looking at Roger's modernist chair] What is this? A bed?

Roger:
Yeah. You might wanna lie down because here we are again.

Burt Peterson:
Well, I haven't forgotten anything. Not a damn thing.

Roger:
A lot of times in life you get to do something and you don't realize until it's over how much you enjoyed it. And you swear that the next time it comes around, you're gonna remember that.

Burt Peterson:
You're right. And I think I can work with you, too.

Roger:
Work? No Burt, I'm letting you go again.

Burt Peterson:
What the hell? You can't do that!

Roger:
It probably doesn't make a difference at this point, but no one fought for ya.

Burt Peterson:
Well we'll see what the folks at Chevy have to say about this!

Roger:
Remember Ken Cosgrove? Like a six foot version of Alan Ladd? He's touring the plant right now.

Burt Peterson:
You bastard! I've got four million in billings! What've you got?

Roger:
I was thinking you would feel that way, that you had more clients and that gives you a voice. I was imagining you talking over me in meetings. Now I don't have that problem.

Burt Peterson:
My clients will leave with me!

Roger:
No one will ever say you weren't funny, Burt.

Burt Peterson:
Well I'll tell you one thing, I'm expecting some kind of severance!

Roger:
Who knows? We're really hurting, we're having to cut back...well, obviously.

Burt Peterson:
You're a real prick, you know that?

Roger:
Dammit Burt, you stole my goodbye.

[Burt leaves. Bob Benson approaches him]

Bob:
Oh, hello, you must be Burt Peterson. I'm Bob Benson. I'm supposed to report to you.

Burt Peterson:
Well, as first order of business, I recommend you stick your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye!

Sylvia:
I think this is over.

Don:
It's over when I say it's over.

Sylvia:
I had a dream that you crashed in that plane.

Don:
But I'm back.

Sylvia:
I dreamed that I went to your funeral, and Megan cried on my shoulder.

Don:
Stop it.

Sylvia:
And then I went back to Arnold, and I made love to him, and I said, "I've been away, but now I'm home."

Don:
It means you missed me.

Sylvia:
No, it means it's time to really go home. This is over, and not just...this.

Don:
It's easy to give up something when you're satisfied.

Sylvia:
No, it's easy to give up something when you're ashamed.

[She turns to go]

Don:
[pained] Don't...

Sylvia:
It's time to go.

Wendy:
Don, ask a question. You can just think of it. You don't have to say it out loud... [Don says nothing] Perfect.

Wendy:
Does someone love me?

Don:
What?

Wendy:
That's what your question was.

Don:
Why would you say that?

Wendy:
That's everyone's question.

[Don strokes Betty's face]

Betty:
What are you doing?

Don:
Waiting for you to tell me to stop.

[They kiss]

Betty:
What did you think when you saw me?

Don:
That you are as beautiful as the day I met you.

Betty:
That poor girl. She doesn't know that loving you is the worst way to get to you.

Roger:
We're conquistadors. I'm Vasco de Gama, you're... some other Mexican. We're going to land, buy whatever they've got for the beads in our pockets. Our biggest challenge is to not get syphilis.

Private Dinkins:
Dying doesn't make you whole. You should see what you look like.

Pete:
[about Ted] Can you imagine what it does to his wife every time he takes that plane?

Peggy:
I guess so.

Pete:
You don't want me to to talk about his wife.

Peggy:
I don't know what you're talking about.

Pete:
But I do. I've seen that look.

Peggy:
[pause] I know. But nothing can happen.

Pete:
And he's in love with you, too.

Peggy:
You're the one who's in love with him.

Pete:
I could use an account, and he's been generous. At least one of us ended up important. [pause] Please tell me you don't pity me.

Peggy:
I don't.

Pete:
Because you really know me.

Peggy:
[smiles] I do.

[Pete thinks that his mother and her live-in nurse are having an affair; Bob is trying to calm him down]

Bob:
Can I ask you something? Did she seem happy?

Pete:
[admittedly] Yes, she did.

[Bob takes a drink and a deep breath]

Bob:
Is it really so impossible to imagine?

Pete:
What?

Bob:
Couldn't it be that, if someone took care of you, very good care of you... if this person would do anything for you... If his well-being was his only thought... that you might begin to feel something for him? [smiles at Pete] When there's true love, it doesn't matter who it is.

[Bob nudges his leg up against Pete's. After a very uncomfortable silence, Pete moves his leg away]

Pete:
Tell him I'll give him a month's pay, and tell him it's disgusting!

Bob:
[embarrassed] Of course.

Harry:
I wouldn't bother you at home, but I've got good news!

Don:
You finally found a hooker who'll take traveler's checks?

[Don has meddled in Peggy's ad and with her relationship with Ted]

Peggy:
I know what you did, I just don't know why you did it.

Don:
Calm down.

Peggy:
Wanna offer me a drink, pretend like you're helping me a little more?

Don:
Close the door.

Peggy:
Oh, of course, you deserve privacy!

Don:
Look, there's still enough money for the ad. We'll make it work.

Peggy:
Stop hiding behind the ad! I know what you did.

Don:
I saved both of you. How do you think it looks?

Peggy:
You hate that he is a good man!

Don:
He's not that virtuous. He's just in love with you.

Peggy:
Well, you killed him. You killed the ad. You killed everything. You can stop now.

Don:
I'm just looking out for the agency.

Peggy:
You're a monster!

Minister:
[to Don] What's your occupation, young man?

Don:
Staying out of people's business.

[Don has a crisis of conscience in the middle of a pitch to Hershey's]

Don:
I'm sorry... I have to say this, because I don't know if I'll ever see you again.

Hershey's executive:
What?

Don:
I was an orphan. I grew up in Pennsylvania, in a whorehouse. I read about Milton Hershey and his school in Torn Up Magazine, or some other crap the girls left by the toilet, and I read that some orphans had a different life there. I could picture it. I dreamed of it - being wanted. Because the woman who was forced to raise me would look at me every day like she wished I would disappear. The closest I got to being wanted was with a girl who made me go through her johns' pockets while they screwed. If I collected more than a dollar, she'd buy me Hershey bar, and I would eat it alone in my room with great ceremony. [choking up] Feeling like a normal kid. It said "sweet" on the package. It was the only sweet thing in my life.

Hershey's executive:
[aghast] You want to advertise that?

Don:
If I had my way, you would never advertise. You shouldn't have someone like me telling that boy what a Hershey bar is. He already knows.