WWE SmackDown!, 2005

Michael Cole:
The Bashams stole the damn titles!

Tony Chimel:
Here are your winners and the new WWE Tag Team Champions, the Basham Brothers.

Tazz:
JBL's co-secretaries of defense are now the new WWE Tag Team Champions.

Michael Cole:
You gotta be kidding me!

Tazz:
Oh, it's a reality, Cole.

Michael Cole:
The guts that Rey Mysterio showed in this matchup, and he was a split-second away from winning the thing and the Bashams pulled a damn switcheroo.

Tazz:
Well, shades of last week, they pulled that switcharoonie last week on Van Dam, Doug and Danny, they just did it tonight, and tonight they capitalized big time by getting the tag team titles.

[replay shows]

Michael Cole:
And look at Rey Mysterio, a moment away in my mind from perhaps keeping the tag team titles.

Tazz:
There's the switch. That was the switch right there.

Michael Cole:
But the Bashams with the switch and then the sit-out powerbomb. New tag team champions but you gotta give it up for Rey Mysterio. His partner injured and dragged out of the arena. Mysterio still tried to hang on.

Tazz:
Rey did. I mean, hats off to Rey Mysterio. Hope Van Dam's physical condition of his knee is OK. Rey was caught between a rock and a hard place, but at the end of the day...

[JBL and the Cabinet come to celebrate the Basham Brothers tag team championship win]

Michael Cole:
Oh, please. I'm gonna be sick.

Tazz:
Chief of Staff, look at this. Big party down, new tag team champs in the Cabinet. Wow.

Michael Cole:
So, JBL has the WWE gold. The Bashams, the tag team gold. Just what the Cabinet needs: more gold around their waist. Now we're gonna have to live with this.

[John "Bradshaw" Layfield and Kurt Angle have battled to a draw in a Last Man Standing match as Theodore Long watches backstage]

Theodore Long:
Thanks dog, for giving me the idea of this match. [Big Show is standing behind Long]

Big Show:
Kurt. JBL. Come on, wake up! Get up! Over here! Look over here! Kurt Angle, down and out. JBL, down and out. What was it you guys said a couple weeks ago? What was it? I love it when a plan comes together? Boys, I will be at the Royal Rumble. And believe me, I will be the next WWE Champion.

Kurt Angle:
Listen up, guys. This is a very big night for all three of us. My road to main event in my third straight WrestleMania begins right here tonight. When I make Rey Mysterio tap in this tournament match, and I will, I just wish someone here would've soften them up last week when I asked them to.

Mark Jindrak:
Look...

Angle:
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no excuses. Nonetheless, when I beat Rey Mysterio tonight, I'm going straight to the finals at No Way Out, baby, and thanks to my boys, you guys made sure there wasn't a winner in the Undertaker match, which means I don't have a semi-final match. I'm going straight to the finals. You guys make me proud, I love you guys.

Luther Reigns:
Look, Angle, what we did last week, that was nothing. I'm sick every time Undertaker's name being mentioned around here, all these punks bowing down. Well, Luther Reigns, he don't bow down to nobody.

Angle:
You damn right.

Reigns:
Hell, even that looney tune Heidenreich, he got a whacked out when he seen them caskets. I mean, he's already whacked out, what am I saying?

Angle:
Wacko.

Reigns:
Look, Angle, I've had my throat cut ear to ear. I've been shot. I've been stabbed in a prison riot. I was locked down 23 hours a day, 7 days a week for 5 calendars. 5 calendars, Angle. I've had so much blood on me, you couldn't even tell what color my skin was. I've stared death in the eyes more times than I can remember. So when it comes to the Undertaker, I ain't scared of no caskets, and I damn sure ain't scared of no deadman.

Angle:
Now, that's the intensity I want. That's the intensity that's gonna bring home the gold tonight. You guys are gonna go out there and you're gonna win the WWE Tag Team Championships from the Bashams. You got it? Now let's go do it!

Reigns:
Damn right.

Angle:
That's right, you're damn right.

Reigns:
Let's roll, Jindrak.

Michael Cole:
And look at this! [JBL whacks John Cena with the WWE Championship belt] JBL with the championship off the skull of John Cena! The referee never saw it! The damn champion with the title off the skull of Cena! [Orlando Jordan crawling to Cena to cover him] Orlando Jordan crawling toward the cover! Not this way! [the referee makes the count] Not this way! Dammit!

[bell rings]

Tony Chimel:
Here is your winner and the new United States Champion, Orlando Jordan!

Michael Cole:
You gotta be kidding me! This whole "Cabinet leaving" garbage was a damn joke!

Tazz:
Hooked us! Hook, line, and sinker! Hooked everyone, you, me, everybody here! JBL, like it or not, the man's a damn genius! We thought he split the arena! We thought he left!

Michael Cole:
Uh-uh.

Tazz:
A new United States champ? Wow!

Michael Cole:
A masterful plan, hatched by the champion, JBL, to take the United States Championship from John Cena. JBL and his Cabinet, with a diabolical scheme tonight, to take the title from Cena. Orlando Jordan is the new United States Champion.

JBL:
Every single week! Every single week, we have done something so freakin' awesome that we have to come out here and let you relish in our greatness! And this week is certainly no different. I never get tired of this. This week, we're gonna celebrate a man who exemplifies what the Cabinet stands for: greatness, dignity, courage, respect. A man who, last week, single handedly, by himself, one-on-one, mano y mano destroyed John Cena! That man is your United States Champion, the greatest athlete in SmackDown! history, Mr. Orlando Jordan!

Crowd:
[chanting] CENA!

Michael Cole:
The "Cena" chants begin.

JBL:
I understand Virginia is a little backward, but you're chanting for the loser. Chant the winner's name, OJ. You see, because there's a lot about OJ you don't know. OJ grew up with many brothers and many sisters. OJ grew up in the inner city. OJ realized at a young age that he could be like you people out here and that he could be paying to see me. OJ didn't want that, so he did the right thing. He turned his back on his family. He turned his back on his inner city. He wanted greatness in his life, and here he stands right now, your United States Champion, with you people out there, him in here! And tonight, you will see that greatness has no bounds. Tonight, you will see all the gold come to the Cabinet. You see, I'm a wrestling god, and gods must be adorned with gold. So tonight, Rey Mysterio, you and Eddie Guerrero... tonight, you will face the Cabinet. And tonight, you will see why we are successful and you are not, because we hold ourselves to a standard that you cannot possibly fathom! We hold ourselves to a standard that is so high, most of you never see it. Tonight, you will realize what is class and what is not, and why common people never stand here with championships.[Turns to Orlando Jordan] What is that thing you're carrying?

Orlando Jordan:
Why, JBL, I believe this is what John Cena used to call [spins the plate on the belt] his United States Championship title.

JBL:
Looks to me like some little bling-bling sideshow, like a hubcap that these kids, instead of putting money in their education, put on their cars. That, I find disgusting. That, for the time-honored tradition of sports entertainment, must be destroyed. The Bashams, the Secretaries of Defense, would you please do me a favor and get the trash can and the stairs, please?

[The Bashams bring the top half of the ringside steps into the ring and place a trash can in front of it]

Michael:
"Trash can and stairs"? What's going on?

JBL:
You people are about to understand why it is sometimes good for America that the rich keep the common down.

Michael:
Bashams brought stairs in the... now there's a trash can.

JBL:
That belt right there is everything I find reprehensible, everything I hate about John Cena! He has taken a time-honored tradition like the United States Championship and he has made it into a sideshow freak ride! For that, that must be destroyed, just like at WrestleMania, John Cena will not only be destroyed but he will bow at the feet of greatness! John Cena talks about street cred? I own the damn street! [Orlando hands the belt to JBL, who lays it into the trash can and takes a remote from Danny Basham] Just like your career, Cena...[JBL turns one switch on the remote] up...in...smoke.

[He turns the second switch, which triggers an explosion inside the trash can]

Tazz:
WHOA!

Michael:
You've gotta be kidding me. Cena's championship was in there.

JBL:
Orlando, that piece of trash was destroyed. I had something flown in from WWE Headquarters, the WWE Vault, worthy of you. [Doug Basham holds out a briefcase, which JBL opens and takes out the traditional United States Championship] Ladies and gentlemen, to a great American. To a man with class, something with class. The greatest athlete in SmackDown! history. [He hands the title over to Orlando] Give it up for Orlando Jordan, your United States Champion! [Orlando and JBL stand on the steps hoisting their respective titles high] Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you your United States Champion, Orlando Jordan, your future Tag Team Champions, and the WWE Heavyweight Champion, John "Bradshaw" Layfield!

[John "Bradshaw" Layfield and John Cena are having a debate with Theodore Long moderating]

John "Bradshaw" Layfield:
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Now Teddy Long, I want you to explain to him the rules you made last week are still in effect. If you touch me, you lowlife SOB, you lose your chance to face me at WrestleMania! Tell him Teddy! Tell him!

Theodore Long:
That's right, JBL. Now Cena, if you lay a hand on JBL, you will lose your opportunity to face JBL for the WWE Championship at WrestleMania.

Tazz:
That's not fair.

Long:
But however, JBL, if you physically provoke John Cena, then he has the right to retaliate.

Michael Cole:
Now that is fair.

Long:
Now, now what that means if you strike John Cena, then John Cena can strike back. Ya feel me? So it is time for the debate. Now there are three questions, and the first question is for you, JBL. Now, what makes you believe you're more qualified to be the WWE Champion?

JBL:
First of all, Theodore, I would like to thank you, and I would like to thank all of SmackDown!, and I would like to thank all of the great fans right here in Memphis, Tennessee, for holding this debate. Go Grizzlies! And I would like to answer the question. What makes me deserve to be a champion more than my opponent, John Cena. You see, America needs heroes, and I have filled that role. I have vanquished all my opponents, and I have become stronger by doing it. I am the ideal American success story from a great family, independently wealthy from a great school. I have a reason for all you people to look up to SmackDown! because of me. And I understand there's a champion on the other show that says that he is a ten-time world champion. What that means to me is, he lost nine times. I am the only champion in the history of professional wrestling that has never lost this championship! I have held this championship longer than anybody in over ten years! Including that same guy on the other show. That, Teddy Long, is why I deserve, and why I am what I say I am, a wrestling God.

Long:
John Cena, same question.

John Cena:
Before I can even answer that question, what makes me more qualified to be champ, I gotta turn that back around you, because you're, you're some sort of "wrestling God", I mean, you've been, you're the champ, nah, you've been champ for quite a long time. You're independently wealthy, a huge success story. Why would someone as successful as you drive to the ring in a broke-down [beep] limosuine?

Tazz:
What?

Cena:
Why? Why?

JBL:
There's nothing wrong with that limosuine!

Cena:
Hey man, hey don't sugarcoat it. Let's go take a look. [Cena gets out of the ring and approaches JBL's limosuine] I mean, uh, first things first homey. [Cena punches a spike into one of the limo's tires, flattening it]

Tazz:
Oh whoa whoa!

JBL:
TEDDY LOOK WHAT HE DID TO MY CAR!

Cena:
You got a flat tire. Huh? Huh, you the champ! How you gonna ride in a limo with a flat tire man?

JBL:
THAT IS VANDALISM! YOU SHOULD BE THROWN IN JAIL! TEDDY LONG, DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS, YOU'RE THE GENERAL MANAGER!

Long:
Hey! Hey, he's not touching you. He hasn't laid a hand on you.

Cena:
I'm just -- I'm, I'm just statin' the facts, playa! And, and the, the paint job, man. What's up with the paint job? Come out in this bust-[beep] limo with a flat tire and the scuffed up paint. I can't even believe you didn't catch that!

JBL:
There's nothing wrong with that paint job, Cena.

Cena:
Nah man, you ain't looking at it right. [pulls out a can of spray paint]

Cole:
Oh no.

Cena:
You see, when I look at it, [spray paints "JBL SUCKS" on the side of the limo]

Tazz:
Oh God, oh!

JBL:
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! You're a, you're a punk criminal!

Cena:
I see a limo that says JBL sucks! JBL sucks! Dude, JBL is you! You drove out here in a limo that says JBL sucks!

JBL:
THAT'S A $200,000 CAR!

Cena:
You know, [crowd chants "JBL sucks"] you know, between that limo fiasco and this hostile crowd here in Memphis, [crowd cheers] if I was you I'd, well I'd just do somethin' about that.

JBL:
You better show me some respect you...

Cena:
You gonna hit me?

Long:
Hey, JBL.

Cena:
You gonna hit me, you gonna do somethin'? Go on. Go on, throw a punch.

Long:
Hey.

Cena:
Go on, throw a punch here, big daddy! Come on!

Long:
You can do something if you want to.

JBL:
I'm ready for the next question.

Long:
Well, then let's move on.

Tazz:
JBL's holding his cool.

Long:
JBL, how important is one's social and economic upbringing in being a champion?

JBL:
Apparently it's real damn important! Look at what that criminal just did to my car! You see, there's a reason that punk criminals like him, the only way he makes it to my car, is if you drive me! There's a reason that people like you are kept down by the rich, 'cause that's what's better for America! You mock what you don't understand, and quite honestly, you're jealous, because the only way you know you'll have money like me is if you win the lottery, or you turn to crime! So I'll tell you what, at WrestleMania, I'm gonna turn to crime too. I'm gonna rob you of your dreams. I'm gonna rob you of your hopes, and I'm gonna rob you of your dignity when I make you, you Cena, BOW DOWN and worship at the feet of a wrestling God!

Long:
John Cena, you're up playa.

Cena:
Sounds like somebody crapped in your Cheerios this morning, homey. But, but you got a point. I mean, uh, this whole economic thing, maybe I, maybe I just lost my head. I guess what you're trying to say is I got, I got no respect, you know, for the championship.

JBL:
You got no class!

Cena:
I got no class, I mean, look at how I'm dressed, I guess. I mean, I mean I think I'm doing all right, are we good or what? [crowd cheers] But whoa wait wait wait, don't put your panties in a bunch. There're some people that think we should act a certain way, that we should dress a certain way, so, I'm a man of peace. I mean, we can probably solve all this if we just wore a suit and tie, right? [crowd boos]

JBL:
You would look a lot better in a tie. Right now you look like a piece of crap!

Cena:
Well, let me see, I'd look better in a tie. [takes out a pair of scissors] Let's just see if that works.

JBL:
Hey hey hey, Teddy! You can't touch me! You, you, WrestleMania. You lo-- [Cena touches JBL's tie with the scissors, then cuts the tie off his shirt]

Cena:
So a tie would look better huh? [puts the tie on] Oh no, I feel like a manger in this, this feel sucks! [throws the tie] Oh, but oh dog, that was, that was yours, and after the, after the car thing, oof! And the tie, you're probably pretty mad right now, huh? You probably wanna do somethin' don't ya? Maybe throw a punch? Maybe hit me? If I hit you, I can't go to WrestleMania, but uh, then again, I'm not the one looking like a total jerk so maybe, [JBL removes his jacket] you know maybe you wanna do something about it.

Cole:
Uh-oh.

Cena:
Maybe, maybe you wanna throw a punch. [closes his eyes and tries to get JBL to attack him, but JBL refuses]

JBL:
No. No, I'm not playing your games. You do not outthink the master. At WrestleMania, you will have all you want. But till then, son, play your stupid games.

Long:
John Cena, the next question is for you. Now, I wanna ask you this playa. What do you need --

Cena:
What do I need to do to get this punk [beep] over here to swing at me? Well now, that's an important question. And one I think we need to address. What if right here right now, I prove the wrestling God, the champion of champions, a man of class, JBL to be nothing but a liar?

JBL:
I don't lie!

Cena:
Oh hey hey hey, have faith in your boy, I can pull it off. Now, mon senior Theodore Long, watch closely. 'Cause I'm not gonna touch you, y'all.

JBL:
You better not touch -- [Cena removes JBL's hat]

Cena:
But I am gonna touch your ten-gallon hat. Oh yo, this is nice dude. This is-- [puts the hat on his head] No, this ain't exactly my style or nothing but I mean, you can tell the craftsmanship, everything is there is it? Is this Gucci?

JBL:
It's a thousand-dollar Stetson.

Cena:
Okay then we know that this is probably a ten-gallon hat right?

JBL:
I hate you.

Cena:
Uh uh.

JBL:
I hate you, you --

Cena:
I'll take that as a yes, ten-gallon hat. Well let's do something. Let's see how many gallons this hat's gonna hold. [grabs a pitcher of water]

Tazz:
That's a thousand-dollar hat! [Cena pours water into the hat]

Cole:
Oh my!

Long:
He's not touching you. [Cena grabs another pitcher of water and pours the water into the hat]

Cena:
Dude that ain't even close to one gallon. That means your [beep] ass is a liar. Oh by the way, I'm done with your hat, you can have it back. [puts the water filled hat on JBL's head, drenching him] Oh! Oh! OH NO! Look at you man, you look like you done had an accident all over yourself. They, they make diapers for that sort of stuff, I mean, you got problems with how they, oh look at you!

JBL:
I'm gonna kick your [beep] at WrestleMania.

Cena:
You gonna show me what you're gonna do at WrestleMania?

JBL:
At WrestleMania, I'm gonna --

Cena:
Then show me what you gonna do at WrestleMania! Come on! Right here, you throw a punch and I swear I will knock the hell out of you! [crowd chants "Cena" but JBL doesn't attack Cena] You ain't gonna do nothing are ya? [laughs] Just like I thought. But I bet you stand there thinking that you're uh, clever for not playing my games. You look ridiculous. And as clever as you think you are, [pulls out a can of yellow spray paint] well I think you're something else.

Cole:
Now what? [Cena goes behind JBL]

Cena:
[shakes the spray paint can] I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you. [spray paints a yellow line on the back of JBL's shirt]

Cole:
Oh my God!

Tazz:
This is ridiculous! [JBL angrily turns around]

Cena:
You know what? You know what? Seeing the world that I come from, and the world that we come from, there's people who talk about it, and then there's people who be about it. WrestleMania 21, [pulls out a can of red spray paint] let me give you a little preview of what's gonna happen to you. [spray paints "F-U" on the front of JBL's shirt] A-ha!

John Cena:
The champ...is here. JBL, Wrestling God, longest running WWE Champion in the last decade, has survived the Triple Threat match, the Fatal Four-Way match, has beat The Undertaker, beat Eddie Guerrero in a steel cage, and then again in a Texas Bullrope match, survived The Big Show in a Barbed Wire Steel Cage match. But the champ is here. [crowd chants "Cena!"] I'm supposed to be a thug. I don't talk like a champion. They say I don't, I don't fit the dress code, but I think I'm doing alright. It's been said that I'm not a superstar because I'm putting myself on the same level as the people I fight for. This one's good. I have no respect for this business and I have no respect for its championships. You see, when I uh, modified the United States Championship, apparently, wrestling traditionalists and JBL got a little offended. Well I got news for you. Take a look. Take a last look at your [holds WWE Championship] coveted prize, because if you think what we did to the U.S. title was disrespectful, hell you better lock the dog at the country club! Because the champ is here! [crowd chants "Cena" as Cena approaches the crowd] Listen. You hear that? I said, do you hear that? [crowd cheers as Cena walks into the audience] Look around! This is what we do! [crowd cheers] So it don't matter if you're Booker T, Kurt Angle, Big Show, JBL, hell it don't matter if you're the Brooklyn Brawler, Iron Mike Sharp, SD Jones or Steve Gatorwolf, our time is now! This is the Chain Gang! And we ain't hard to find. You want some, come get some, because the champ is here!

[Eddie Guerrero arrives and sits on a chair in the middle of the ring, one week after turning on Rey Mysterio]

Eddie:
You know...all over the country, people have been asking me, "Why, Eddie, why? Why did you do to Rey Mysterio, what you did to him, last week?" Plain and simple, I gave him what he wanted. He wanted a fight, I gave him a fight! I gave him the fight of his life! And do you think that makes me happy?? [looking at Rey's bloody mask which he kept from the previous week] DO YOU THINK THAT MAKES ME...HAPPY?! I didn't want to do it, Rey, WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO IT?! Por qué? It's your fault!! Es tu culpa, Rey! [the crowd starts an "Eddie sucks" chant] I never wanted to lay a hand on you! And look what you made me do! But you know what, Rey? Blessings come in disguises, ese. You see, I realized something last week, homes. My eyes were open. And I realized what you were doing. And not only you... [standing up and addressing the audience] ...ALL of these people. [the crowd boos] I realized, that each and every one of you, were living vicariously through me! You were stealing my passion, my love, my energy! You were stealing my Latino Heat! But as of last week...not anymore, 'cause I got it back! I got it ALL back! And I like it! I like what I'm feeling, Rey. [sitting back down in the chair] So I got a little piece of advice for you, homes. See, nothing and no one is going to ever, ever, take away my Latino Heat again! So I want you to listen, real close. [camera zooms in closer on Eddie] Come in, a little closer. LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!! Quiero que piensas, I want you to think, think of your family. Aalyah and Dominik, your son and your daughter. Don't make me...hurt them, Rey. Don't make me...hurt their daddy again, ese! Don't make me...take...away...their papá! 'Cause I promise you this, ese: you promised to make your return at Judgment Day...I advise against it. You return at Judgment Day, remember...right now, I have your blood on my hands. At Judgment Day, if you come back, I'll have your life!

[later on that night, after getting disqualified for hitting a brain buster on Jimmy Jacobs, whom Eddie made wear Rey's mask, on a steel chair]

Eddie [ripping Rey's mask off Jimmy and addressing it again]:
Judgment Day, it's mine, baby! You better not show up on Judgment Day, or your kids aren't gonna have a daddy! Órale!!

[Randy Orton has helped JBL defeat The Undertaker in a No Disqualification match]

Randy Orton:
Undertaker! Undertaker! Undertaker, you've just been RKO'd. You better get used to it, because the legend killer is officially on SmackDown!.

Theodore Long:
Last week, I made this SmackDown! championship match a six-man elimination match! Well, with The Big Show being drafted to Raw, you lose one and you gain one, playa. So the sixth man for this match will be the latest draft lottery pick. Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you, Christian! [Christian's music hits]

Michael Cole:
Christian?!

Tazz:
Christian? No!

Cole:
Captain Charisma?

Tazz:
[Christian comes out] Yeah there he is! Oh wait a minute! Christian!

Cole:
Got a shot at the SmackDown! championship here tonight on his first night on SmackDown!.

[JBL has defeated Booker T, Chris Benoit, Christian, Muhammad Hassan, and The Undertaker in a six-man elimination match, seemingly winning the SmackDown! Championship]

Theodore Long:
JBL, I've got some good news, and I've got some bad news for you, playa.

Michael Cole:
What?

Long:
Now, the bad news is, even though you won the match, you are not the SmackDown! champion.

Cole:
What?!

Tazz:
What the hell?

Long:
You know something playa? Recently, I found out that there's no need for a SmackDown! championship. Now the good news is, that you have earned the right to be the new number one contender to this man. Now ladies and gentlemen, everybody get ready to show your love for the final draft lottery pick and World Champion, Batista! [Batista's music hits]

Tazz:
What the hell?!!

Cole:
Oh, my!

Tazz:
Is this a joke? What the hell's going on here?

Cole:
No, it's not a joke! He's the, the, the latest draft lottery pick!

Tazz:
Where is he? I'll believe it when I see it [Batista comes out] and oh my God, I believe it! Holy...I don't, this is great!

Cole:
SmackDown! has hit the jackpot!

Tazz:
Holy cow!

Cole:
The World Heavyweight Champion has come to SmackDown!. Oh my God!

Tazz:
Batista! I can't believe it! Batista, the World Heavyweight Champion, on SmackDown!.

Cole:
This is the man who, who four nights ago, beat Triple H in Hell in a Cell! This is the man, who three times, beat Triple H! This is the man who won the title at WrestleMania, and Batista is on SmackDown!.

Tazz:
Shocking! Shocking! Amazing historic moment for SmackDown!.

Cole:
And I don't believe anybody is as shocked as JBL, who moments ago, was elated at winning the SmackDown! title, only to find out that he's the number one contender for that championship, the World Heavyweight title. Oh my! Batista has come to SmackDown!. Good night everybody, from a historic night in Anaheim!

Thomas Whitney (Muhammad Hassan's attorney):
My name is Thomas Whitney, Esq., and I am the legal counsel for Mr. Muhammad Hassan. Mr. Hassan has authorized me to read this statement on his behalf. Mr. Hassan has endured so much emotional distress as a result of the vitriolic hatred he has encountered over the last week. As a result, he has chosen to take a leave of absence from SmackDown!. I'd like to remind you that Mr. Hassan is as American as each and every one of you. He has the same rights and privileges under the First Amendment, including freedom of expression. And it is a sad day in America, in which someone like my client has found me to retain an attorney to protect his fundamental rights to freedom of speech, and freedom from discrimination. Like all other Americans, you should not be prejudiced against Mr. Hassan or his manager, Khosrow Daivari. Therefore, my client will never again appear here on SmackDown!, until such time as he defeats The Undertaker at a pay-per-view, ironically enough, called The Great American Bash. And furthermore, my client will no longer be appearing on -- [The Undertaker's music hits and The Undertaker makes his entrance]

Michael Cole:
It appears as though Thomas Whitney, esquire, Muhammad Hassan's attorney is about to personally meet The Undertaker.

Tazz:
This could be an interesting rebuttal, Cole. Well, law school ain't prepared for this.

Cole:
I, I don't think Hassan's attorney has, has any idea what to think about all this. [Undertaker enters the ring] In ten days at The Great American Bash, that man, The Undertaker will meet Muhammad Hassan for the opportunity to meet the World Heavyweight Champion. A number one contender's match at the Bash.

Tazz:
Think that attorney's got cottonmouth? [Undertaker approaches and corners Whitney]

Whitney:
Sir. Sir, I do not know your intentions. But sir, need I remind you, that I am not a wrestler, sir. I am an attorney. [Undertaker grabs Whitney by the throat]

Tazz:
Come on, Taker wait. No don't do this!

Cole:
He's an attorney! [Undertaker chokeslams Whitney] Oh man! Undertaker just chokeslammed Muhammad Hassan's attorney.

Tazz:
I, this guy's not a wrestler. I don't, [Undertaker signals for the Tombstone] Someone's gotta stop this man.

Cole:
Who's gonna stop him, Tazz? This is ridiculous. Undertaker may very well -- [Undertaker prepares to deliver a Tombstone Piledriver to Whitney]

Tazz:
Oh god, oh no no!

Cole:
Not the Tombstone Piledriver!

Tazz:
No Taker no! No no! [Undertaker tombstones Whitney]

Cole:
Oh my! I dare say Tazz, that the, The Undertaker's crossed the line here.

Tazz:
I don't think he gives a rat's you-know-what about crossing the line. I'll tell you Cole, I don't know how much money Muhammad Hassan pays his attorney, but it's definitely not enough.

Big Show:
Eddie was very, very spiritual. Um, a great, great dad. Um, every time I saw him around his kids, he was just...so full of life and so...just full of joy 'cause he was so proud of his family. Eddie was so thankful to God for all of it. Um, my only comfort in losing a friend...is knowing that he's with God now. And all the pain, and all the things that he endured, he's with God now, he's safe. He's loved. I know this is not right, but I can't believe Eddie's gone. I love you bro. And there'll be another one like you. You were awesome.

Randy Orton:
I didn't come out here to brag about what I did to The Undertaker. I don't need to. I'm, I'm not an arrogant man. What I did to Undertaker speaks for itself. [points to the SmackDown! titantron that was destroyed and is covered with tape] Any of you here coming to this arena thinking that there's just a small chance you might see Undertaker rise from the ashes, WELL GUESS WHAT, AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN! It's over, he's done! His legacy is dead. I killed him. I KILLED THE UNDERTAKER! [crowd boos] The only true phenom now in the WWE...is me. And I deserve something for what I've accomplished. I deserve the World Heavyweight Championship. You think I don't? Do you disagree with me?! [crowd cheers] You disagree with me?! Well guess what, the one man that three years in a row was the sole survivor at the Survivor Series match, you're looking at him! The youngest World Heavyweight Champion in history! You're looking at him! A third-generation superstar! Guess what, you're looking at him! [crowd boos] The man that killed the phenom, The Undertaker. You're looking at him. You people disagree? Well your opinions mean nothing to me, whatsoever. [crowd chants "asshole"] Batista! [crowd cheers] I'm calling you out. I want a World Heavyweight Championship match. And I don't want one at Armageddon. I demand one at Armageddon!

Tazz:
Wow.

Orton:
And I will become the World Heavyweight Champion. It's not arrogance, people. It's destiny.