Wikidude's Quotes Page #149

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

[re:
Airforce One]

Mike:
Isn't this plane amazing?

Ben:
Yeah, can we fly it into Danny Chung?

Veep, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Selina:
Can we say that it was just an error?

Dan:
No, ma'am, the entire world would notice that.

Ben:
Yeah, it's terrible PR. You might as well drive a suicide clown car into the fuckin' Lincoln Memorial. [into phone] Yes, I am still here.

Veep, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Sue:
We have to schedule calls for the UK Prime Minister, for China, and for the Vatican.

Selina:
It's like a Google Maps of ass-kissing.

Veep, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Kent:
The First Lady isn't in a good place.

Selina:
Oh. Hospital.

Kent:
Mentally. POTUS has decided that he wants to devote more time to looking after her.

Selina:
Yikes!

Kent:
At any rate... he's gonna resign.

Selina:
Uh-uh. [beat] What?

Kent:
Ma'am, you're about to become the 45th President of the United States. It's not a dress-rehersal, not a drill. You are going to be the president.

Veep, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Dan:
[to a reporter] You're asking a rhetorical question, and the answer's obviously No.

Veep, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Mike:
[trying to unlock a cellphone] It's password protected. Hang on. 0-0-0-1... 0-0-0-2... 0-0-0-3...

Selina:
You cannot be serious.

Veep, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Selina:
[regarding Quincy Carter] Oh my God, I cannot stand that affected butt-plug. If I could lift the fuckin' crate I'd beat him to death with it.

Veep, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Mike:
[regarding Selina's new campaign "platform"] She thinks it looks folksy, but she really looks like Dustin Hoffman on a crate.

Veep, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Amy:
Uh, ma'am? Quincy Carter, the editor of the New Hampshire Globe, is here to speak with you.

Selina:
Oh God, that Dickensian shit-stick?

Veep, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Doyle:
Now Maddox's daughter's gonna give him the bad news!

Furlong:
"Daddy, you fucking blew it!"

Doyle:
"Daddy, I've never been less proud of you!"

Veep, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Doyle:
I think I've endorsed a Nazi!

Furlong:
It'd explain the Hitler haircut!

Veep, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

[Selina's eye continues to twitch visibly on camera]

Amy:
Jesus, that is a wicked twitch!

Doyle:
I can't watch this.

Furlong:
Neither can she 'cause her fucking eyes don't work!

Veep, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Ben:
I hate confessions, unless they've been beaten out of someone.

Veep, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Chung:
Today, we're here to talk about records. And my record clearly shows that, unlike some of us, I have been tested.

Ben:
Here comes the burning tank story, where he saves the one guy, and the rest of us get fucking tortured.

Veep, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Gary:
What do you think of the new cut, huh? Do you like it?

Mike:
Of course I don't fucking like it! It's the worst use of scissors since my failed vasectomy!

Gary:
The elven look is in right now, I was reading about it.

Mike:
People don't elect elves, okay. They put them to work in grottos or get them drunk at frat parties so they can toss them.

Gary:
That's dwarves.

Veep, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Furlong:
[to Catherine, regarding Selina's new haircut] Just imagine, that's what you'll look like when you become a boy.

Veep, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Kent:
I know it's terrible that the First Lady tried to kill herself, but our carrying on is what she would have wanted—does want.

Veep, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Amy:
Okay, Thornhill knows how to throw a ball, Pierce may be a sitting fuck, but the main targets here are Maddox and Chung.

Ben:
Well hit Chung with inexperience and Maddox with resignation; actual and general air of.

Amy:
Yeah, I want their heads on my wall. Actual heads.

Furlong:
God, I love this kind of talk; gets me aroused. [beat] Sorry, I meant "roused". [beat] No, did I mean—I meant "aroused"! Aroused.

Veep, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Kent:
People are disturbed by your role—

Ray:
Yeah, they think folks that are physical can't be cerebral, they think those two things are separate, that they're not... symbiotic.

Kent:
No, no, no. You don't understand.

Ray:
No, I do! I do. Look, people think that, you know, the fitness guy, how can he know about politics? I get you, Kent.

Kent:
[groans in frustration] Again, I don't think you do. People think Selina's judgement is bad if she listens to people like you, whose beliefs are very stupid.

Ray:
Because I am people.

Kent:
Oh, you're not getting it.

Ray:
You know, the brain is a muscle.

Kent:
No, it isn't!

[later]

Kent:
You really don't get it, so I'm going to keep this very simple: you're fired.

Ray:
I get you. Very simple.

Kent:
Yes, it is.

Ray:
Great. I'm so pleased we had this talk. Let's see where we all are in a month or so.

Kent:
[astounded] This is amazing.

Ray:
Thank you.

Veep, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Robb:
Right, so unelected... loony has the ear and minge of the Vice President and he says that fat people——no, fat kids, fat kiddies have sinned in a past life!

Jonah:
Yeah. Do you know how upsetting that's gonna be to fat people? All of America is fat people, that's all we have! All of our children weigh 300 fucking pounds!

Robb:
Well we've got fat kids here—well I've got a fat kid, I don't see her very often but that's er, she's um... Right, we'll ambush the Vice President, we'll get photos of her being surrounded by fat kids dressed as devils.

Jonah:
Seriously?

Robb:
[nonchalantly] Yeah.

Jonah:
Oh, my God! You guys are fucking brutal!

Robb:
This calls for a celebration. Come on, I'll get you the first pint at least.

Veep, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Michael:
Do you mind if we talk about you breaking in with a knife, and not my eggs?

Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Lee:
It's not that you can't take life. I reckon you could take billions. But it would have to be necessary. Killing me just isn't necessary.

Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Becky:
You called Milner.

Ian:
It was a mistake.

Becky:
Was it? Was it, Ian? Are you that fucking stupid? Or... are you actually quite fucking smart.

Ian:
Your insults are getting increasingly cryptic, what the hell are you saying?

Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Lee:
What I like about you, Wilson is the amount of stuff you know, all of it fucking useless.

Wilson:
Knowledge is never useless.

Lee:
Wasn't much use when I got my spoon out, was it? Or when I killed your dad.

Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

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