Wikidude's Quotes Page #281

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Tasha:
Why is your friend at the lady doctor?

Karen:
Why does anyone go to any doctor? Fear and pills.

– Will & Grace, Season 9  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Grace:
Thank you so much for seeing me again, Headmistress Hinderhagen.

Headmistress Hinderhagen:
Of course.

Grace:
I know how important diversity is to this school.

Headmistress Hinderhagen:
It is. And your child would be diverse, how exactly?

Grace:
I'm just gonna bottom-line it: I don't know who the father is. So, girl to girl, tell me what diversity you're looking for, because I've probably slept with it.

– Will & Grace, Season 11  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

[Will and Grace have decided to buy a house together]

Grace:
Wait, wait - what if one of us meets someone?

Will:
We'll figure that out. And then, y'know, I'll move in with him.

Grace:
Why are you the one who meets someone?

Will:
It's not me, it's society. I mean, you're a gassy woman over 40 with a kid. The odds aren't great.

Grace:
This is Upstate New York - I'm, like, a 9 here! People don't even think I'm pregnant!

– Will & Grace, Season 11  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Jack:
You know, Blattsville Creamery named a flavor of ice cream after Karen.

Will:
Ooh, does it taste like gin, or blood?

Karen:
Both. It's a swirl.

– Will & Grace, Season 11  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Grace:
Look at me! I went as Lucy last year for Halloween.

Jack:
So did I.

Will:
Grace also attempted a "Slutty Lucy" in college that ended in tears.

Jack:
So did I.

– Will & Grace, Season 11  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Will:
I say this with love, but sometimes living with you is like being stuck in an episode of I Love Lucy.

Grace:
Well yeah, because I'm the kooky redhead everyone loves, and you're the guy who overreacts to every little thing I do.

Will:
If you're comparing me to Ricky, I'll take that as a compliment. He was always my favorite.

Grace:
That's because you had a crush on him.

– Will & Grace, Season 11  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Grace:
Hello, this is Grace Adler. I'm a patient of Dr. Sapirstein's and I'm calling to find out the gender of my baby.

Nurse Sheila:
Yeah, you're gonna wanna check between the legs. If it's an outie, it's a boy. If it's an innie, it's a girl. And if it's both, please take a picture and send it to me - I've always wanted to see one of those.

Grace:
No, I'm pregnant.

Nurse Sheila:
Okay, well then, you're a girl. Does that help?

– Will & Grace, Season 11  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Will:
Good morning. Welcome to our gender reveal breakfast. It's a big moment. We are one prick away from finding out on of the most important...

Jack:
Yeah, can we move this along? Lots to do today.

Will:
Sorry, we are two pricks away from finding out.

– Will & Grace, Season 11  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Karen:
I've gotta get my ring back. Stan gave it to me the night we bought our first election.

– Will & Grace, Season 11  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Jack:
Once again, it's my mother's birthday, and I have no idea what to get her.

Grace:
Just don't try to be cute. One year, I told my mother I was her gift, and she asked if I came with a receipt.

Jack:
You thought that was cute?

– Will & Grace, Season 11  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Grace:
Why would Phil go through all this? That's what I don't get.

Will:
The money. They're always after the money.

Grace:
Yeah, but he's so handsome, though. You'd think he could get money out of women without killing them. I mean, that body, after 40... I'd give him my debit card.

– Will & Grace, Season 11  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Dexter Murphy:
So, I'll get right to it, Mr. McFarland - how do you plan on keeping an iconic institution like CoCo's open without Coco?

Jack:
Oh, they'll still come. I'm not changing anything. We're just under new management. The bar is transitioning - like half our patrons.

Dexter Murphy:
[offended] Do you think people who are transitioning are funny?

Jack:
Oh, God, no! They have no sense of humor!

– Will & Grace, Season 11  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Karen:
Honey, thank God you called!

Grace:
Karen, what's wrong?

Karen:
I don't know where I am! It's so dark. I think I hear a seagull, and a foghorn...

Will:
Karen, hang on!

Will:
We're going to trace this call.

Karen:
Ha-ha, busted! Leave a message! [phone message beeps]

Grace:
I fell for that yesterday.

– Will & Grace, Season 11  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Phil:
Will, this is for you. [hands him a bottle of wine] Karen told me you were a big, bold, complex guy - like this Cabernet.

Karen:
Don't forget fruity and gives you a headache.

Phil:
And Grace. [hands her a bouquet of flowers] Here's something beautiful and delicate, like yourself.

Karen:
Don't forget slightly wilted and covered in bees.

– Will & Grace, Season 11  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Grace:
I am so, so sorry.

James:
No, I'm sorry. I got angry with you, but you were right, it was just an accident. So, I'm here to say... can we try again?

Grace:
[aghast] What? Are you out of your mind? I slept with your son and your father, and you forgave me. I pooped your apartment to death, and you forgave me. But now I violated a porpoise, got you fired, and ended a species!

James:
And I forgive you.

[she slaps him]

Grace:
What is wrong with you?

James:
I think I'm falling for you!

Grace:
Well, raise your standards, man! I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I can't be with someone who has such terrible taste in women.

– Will & Grace, Season 11  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Jack:
C'mon, I know just the place. Let's go.

Will:
Fine. I can't wait to see what filthy, depraved hellhole you're taking me to.

Karen:
As long as there's a drag queen calling out Bingo numbers, I'm happy.

– Will & Grace, Season 11  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Grace:
Oh, my God - you don't want a designer, you want my baby!

Marilyn:
Well, maybe if you don't over-react, they'll want both.

– Will & Grace, Season 11  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Will:
Karen, can you hear me? I just got in the locker room, and I gotta say, it's pretty cool. The bats and the balls and the cute, sweaty guys... throw in a bathtub full of poppers and a famous Scientologist, and it's every gay club in the 80s.

– Will & Grace, Season 11  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Karen:
I can't die in coach! They'll find my body with the poors, all mixed in with the Tater Tots and the Crocs!

– Will & Grace, Season 11  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Friday:
I think you're having a panic attack. I get them all the time, like during a power outage, or when my mom sends her dogs after me. It's my fault - you shouldn't assume you're invited to Thanksgiving.

– Will & Grace, Season 11  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Grace:
PostMates, EasyEats, GrubHub… it's the lazy, hungry person's Renaissance.

Karen:
Oh, Grace, you're a couch-toilet away from all your dreams coming true.

– Will & Grace, Season 11  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Jack:
[about Will & McCoy's baby] Wow, lucky kid - having two dads, just like Jesus.

Will:
And she'll have a Mary right across the hall.

Jack:
This one ain't a virgin.

– Will & Grace, Season 11  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Jack:
I used to love watching the guys play basketball in high school, especially when it was skirts and skins.

Will:
You mean shirts and skins.

Jack:
[pause] No wonder I got beat up so much.

– Will & Grace, Season 11  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Karen:
Silence! I need everyone's attention, because I've got big boobs... I mean, big news... but then again, look at 'em!

– Will & Grace, Season 11  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

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