North:
Hey, there he is! Jack Frost! [the guardians welcomingly look upon Jack Frost]
Jack:
Wow. You gotta be kidding me. [the Yetis grab him] Hey, put me down.
North:
[after Jack arrives at the North Pole] I hope the Yetis treated you well.
Jack:
[sardonically] Oh, yeah. I love being shoved in a sack and tossed through a magic portal.
North:
Oh, good. That was my idea! You know Bunny, obviously.
Jack:
Obviously.
North:
[offscreen] And the Tooth Fairy.
Tooth:
Hello, Jack. I've heard a lot about you. And your teeth!
Jack:
My-my what?
Tooth:
Open up! Are they really as wide as they say? Yes! [gasps] Oh, they really do sparkle like freshly fallen snow. [the Tooth Fairies chitter enthused by Jack's presence] Girls, pull yourselves together. Let's not disgrace the uniform. [she and her Fairies fly off]
North:
And Sandman. Sandy? [he doesn't wake up, he shoulder-bumps him] Sandy? WAKE UP! [he finally wakes up]
Jack:
Hey, ho, anyone wanna tell me why I'm here? [Sandy raises his hand and tries to explain the situation using sand pictograms, leaving Jack confused] Uh, that's not really helping, but thanks, little man. [freezes an elf] I must've done something really bad to get you four together... [brightly] Am I on the naughty list?
North:
Ha! On naughty list? You hold record. But no matter, we overlook. Now, we are wiping clean the slate.
Jack:
How come?
Bunny:
Ah, good question.
North:
"How come?" I'll tell you how come. Because now, you are Guardian!
[An extravagant ceremony starts]
Jack:
Hey, what are you doing? Get off me!
North:
This is the best part!
[As the ceremony continues, a Yeti gives North the Ceremonial Book of Guardianship, then Jack looks on dumbstruck until he stops it with an icy strike of his staff]
Jack:
What makes you think I want to be a Guardian?
[Beat, then North bursts into laughter]
North:
Of course, you do. MUSIC!
[Elves begin playing a fanfare]
Jack:
NO MUSIC! [An elf throws down its horn and stomps away. The Guardians stare at Jack in disbelief] This is all very flattering, but, uh, you don't want me. You're all hard work and deadlines, and I'm snowballs and fun times. I'm not a Guardian.
Bunny:
Heh! Hey, that's exactly what I said!
Tooth:
Jack, I don't think you understand what it is we do. [shows Jack the Globe of Belief] Each of those lights is a child.
North:
A child who believes. And good or bad, naughty or nice, we protect them. [hears Tooth looking at Jack's mouth] Tooth! Fingers out of mouth.
Tooth:
Oh, sorry. [to Jack, about his teeth] They're beautiful.
North:
Okay. No more wishy-washy. Pitch is out there doing who knows what!
Jack:
[laughs briefly] You mean the Boogeyman?
North:
Yes! When Pitch threatens us, he threatens them as well.
Jack:
All the more reason to pick someone more qualified.
North:
"Pick"? You think we "pick"? No, you were chosen, like we were all chosen...by Man in Moon.
Jack:
[looks at the Moon] What?
Tooth:
Last night, Jack, he chose you.
Bunny:
Maybe.
Jack:
Man in the Moon? He talks to you?
North:
You see, you cannot say "no", it is destiny.
Jack:
W-Why wouldn't he tell me that himself? [pause] Oh, after 300 years, this is his answer? To spend eternity like you guys, cooped up in some...some hideout thinking of-of-of new ways to bride kids? No, no. That's NOT FOR ME!!! No offense.
Bunny:
H-H-How is that not offensive?! Y'know what I think, I think we just dodged a bullet. I mean, what's this clown know about bringing joy to children, anyway?
Jack:
Uh, ya ever hear of a snow day? I know it's no "hard-boiled egg," but kids like what I do.
Bunny:
But none of 'em believe in you, do they? Y'see, you're invisible, mate. It's like you don't even exist.
Tooth:
Bunny! Enough!
Jack:
No. The kangaroo's right.
Bunny:
The what? What did you call me? I'm not a kangaroo, mate!
Jack:
[sarcastically] Oh, and this whole time I thought you were. If you're not a kangaroo, what are you?
Bunny:
I'm a bunny. The Easter Bunny! People believe in me.
[Sandy exhales and bumps North's leg with his hand]
North:
Jack, walk with me.
