The Vampire Diaries

Damon Salvatore:
I DO believe in killing the messenger. Why? Because it sends a message.

Damon Salvatore:
What an unexpected surprise.

Lexi:
Unexpected surprise? I think the wrong brother went back to high school.

Damon Salvatore:
I have a diabolical master plan.

Lexi:
What is it?

Damon Salvatore:
Well if I told you, it wouldn't be very diabolical, now would it?

Stefan Salvatore:
Lexi?

Lexi:
Hi.

Stefan Salvatore:
What are you doing here?

Lexi:
How could you even ask that?

Stefan Salvatore:
I missed you.

Lexi:
Happy birthday.

Lexi:
Ah. The famous Elena.

Elena Gilbert:
Towel girl.

Lexi:
I've been called worse. Here.

[Lexi hands Elena a shot of alcohol]

Elena Gilbert:
I didn't know that you guys could drink.

Lexi:
Oh, yeah. It helps curb the cravings. But... makes for a lot of lushy vamps.

Elena Gilbert:
You know, I've never seen Stefan drunk. He always seems so...

Lexi:
Uptight?

Elena Gilbert:
Yeah.

Lexi:
Yeah.

Elena Gilbert:
But not with you.

Lexi:
Well, that's the benefit of knowing someone for over a hundred years. You can just be yourself.

Elena Gilbert:
Yeah, he can't be himself with me.

Lexi:
Well, not yet. The first step was him telling you. The rest comes with time.

Elena Gilbert:
You seem so sure.

Lexi:
The love of my life was human. He went through what I imagine you're going through: denial, anger, et cetera. But at the end of the day, love really did conquer all.

Damon Salvatore:
Stefan smiles. Alert the media!

Jeremy Gilbert:
Wanna keep it down over there?

Jenna Sommers:
Why, what are you doing?

Jeremy Gilbert:
Homework.

Elena Gilbert:
Since when do you do homework?

Jeremy Gilbert:
I gotta finish this. I'm way behind, and I have a quiz tomorrow, so...

Elena Gilbert:
What do you think... alien?

Jenna Sommers:
Some sort of replicant.

Jeremy Gilbert:
He can hear you.

Stefan Salvatore:
Katherine and Elena may look the same on the outside, but on the inside they are completely different.

Lexi:
Oh, so Elena's not a raging b*tch then, huh?

Stefan Salvatore:
Elena is... Elena's warm. And she's... she's kind and she's caring and she's selfless... and it's real. And... honestly, when I'm around her... I completely forget what I am.

Lexi:
Oh my God! You're in love with her.

Stefan Salvatore:
Yeah. Yeah, I am.

Damon Salvatore:
Why are you so mean to me?

Lexi:
Uh, have you met you? You're not a nice person.

Damon Salvatore:
Because I'm a vampire.

Lexi:
But you're only the bad parts.

Damon Salvatore:
[teasing] Teach me to be good.

Stefan Salvatore:
[to Damon, after staking him and missing his heart on purpose] You saved my life. Now I'm sparing yours. We're even.

Damon Salvatore:
Stefan smiles, alert the media.

Stefan Salvatore:
He killed Zach, he killed Tanner, he turned Vikki. I have to kill him.

Jenna Sommers:
[plopping on the couch] You're wallowing.

Elena Gilbert:
So are you.

Jenna Sommers:
My wallow is legitimate. I was dumped.

Elena Gilbert:
Yeah... well. Logan is a jerk.

Jenna Sommers:
You didn't get a brush-off e-mail say: "I'm leaving town. See ya."

Lexi:
So this Elena girl. She'll come around. I'm sure of it. Have you had sex yet?

Stefan Salvatore:
No.

Lexi:
Sex always works. I mean you'll rock her world so hard with your vamp sex, she'll be yours forever.

Stefan Salvatore:
Yeah, but see, this isn't about sex or... or compulsion or any of our other tricks. She has to want to be with me on her own terms.

Lexi:
Wow. That sounded all mature and grown up.

Stefan Salvatore:
[smiling] I'm not getting any old.

Damon Salvatore:
Well, I guess I could rip out Dr. False-Accusation's throat. Or maybe her tongue. I could chew it up into tiny pieces and feed it to the squirrels. [imitates squirrel eating]

Damon Salvatore:
I saved your life last night. [whispered] You're welcome.

Damon Salvatore:
Dear Diary, a chipmunk asked me my name today. I told him it was Joe. That lie will haunt me forever.

Stefan Salvatore:
What do you want?

Damon Salvatore:
I was hoping we could hang. You know, a little brother bonding. I mean, I know we don't actually "hang out." We team up, we join forces, we activate our Wonder Twin Powers...

Damon Salvatore:
Hey, do you remember when we came back for Zachariah's funeral?

Stefan Salvatore:
Vaguely. Why?

Damon Salvatore:
Because if memory serves, he wasn't the first Founders' Council member killed that year, or even that month.

Stefan Salvatore:
Your point being?

Damon Salvatore:
I'm trying to remember what year it was.

Stefan Salvatore:
1912.

Damon Salvatore:
So much for "Vaguely."

Elena Gilbert:
You know, you could show a little compassion about Bonnie.

Damon Salvatore:
[sighs] I know. You're right. Her and her mom must be really hurting right now. Should I send lasagna?

Elena Gilbert:
Ok, now you're just being mean.

Damon Salvatore:
I'm mean. You hate me. The Earth is back on its axis.

Elena Gilbert:
You know, if you keep pushing people away, you're going to end up alone.

Caroline Forbes:
Don't you have a dying girl to go punish for all of her sins?

Klaus:
I do. But I won't... for you.

Caroline Forbes:
So you came all the way to Mystic Falls just to back off when I ask you to?

Klaus:
No. No. I came all the way to Mystic Falls to gloat over a corpse to be, as you so poetically put it, but I will leave minus the gloating in return for one small thing.

Caroline Forbes:
And what is that?

Klaus:
I want your confession.

Caroline Forbes:
My confession? I din't do anything... Confession about what?

Klaus:
Me. As soon as we're done here, I'm gonna walk away, and I'm never coming back. You'll never again have to look me in the eye and cover our connection with hostility and revulsion. You'll never have to loathe the darkest parts of yourself that care fore in spite of all I've done. I will be gone, and you will be free. I just... Want you to be honest with me.

Caroline Forbes:
[almost pleading] I'm in college. I'm building a life for myself. I have plans and a future and things that I want, and none of those things involve you. Okay? None of them.

Klaus:
I see.

Caroline Forbes:
No, you don't Because yes, I cover our connection with hostility. Because, yes, I hate myself for the truth. So if you promise to walk away like you said an never come back, then, yes, I will be honest with you... I will be honest with you about what I want.

Klaus:
I will walk away and I will never come back. I promise.

Damon Salvatore:
[pouring everyone shots for their drinking game] Rule number one, think of the worst thing Katherine Pierce has ever done to you. Rule number two, toast to the glory of her impending death. Rule number three, if you come across something that's worse - which you will - repeat rules one and two. She pretended to be buried in a tomb for 145 years while I waited for her lying ass.

Elena Gilbert:
I forgive you.ou weren't born evil. Your life made you that way. You lost everyone that you cared about way too young, and you didn't have a family that looked after you. Sound familiar?

Katherine Pierce:
[weakly] Is this the... 'We're not so different you and I'Doppelg?nger speech? Because I'd be happy to skip it.

Elena Gilbert:
I'll save it for the funeral we probably won't have for you.

Katherine Pierce:
Perfect.

Elena Gilbert:
I just wanted to get the forgiveness part out. It's part of me that I... I never want to lose.

Katherine Pierce:
Good for you. Now maybe you can help a girl out and give me one more syringe, and if anyone's gonna plunge a needle in me one last time, may as well be you. Symmetry and all that. Elena... Thank you for your forgiveness.

Damon Salvatore:
[sitting down at the bar, next to Alaric] Behold the teacher. Don't you have some papers to grade?

Alaric Saltzman:
It's, uh, more fun with a buzz.

Damon Salvatore:
Well, most things in life are. Sober's... depressing.

Elena Gilbert:
[sarcastically] He's fine.

Stefan Salvatore:
He's Damon.

Elena Gilbert:
Maybe this heartache will be good for him. It'll remind him that he has one, even if it doesn't beat.

Stefan Salvatore:
Won't hold my breath.

Stefan Salvatore:
There was a woman you may have known a few years back named Isobel. In North Carolina, at Duke.

Damon Salvatore:
You want to discuss the women of my past right now, seriously?

Stefan Salvatore:
You killed her.

Damon Salvatore:
What's your point?

Stefan Salvatore:
I just want to know if you remember anything about her.

Damon Salvatore:
It's like a needle in a haystack, Stefan.

Stefan Salvatore:
Well think hard, it's important.

Damon Salvatore:
[whispers in Stefan's ear] Nothing is important... not anymore.

Rebekah:
You're right. I do care. I want stupid koala corsages and a prom. I want to have kids with someone who loves me enough to stand outside my window with a stupid boombox. I want to be human.

Rebekah:
So is everything about the '80's so... excessive?

Stefan Salvatore:
It had it's charm. Say Anything, Lloyd Dobler standing outside of a bedroom window with a boombox over his head, desperately trying to get back the girl of his dreams. Princess Bride, Wesley slays giant rats for love. Breakfast Club, one detention turns a bunch of outcasts into allies.

Rebekah:
So it was a decade of sentimental drivel, as well?

Stefan Salvatore:
Well, I was gonna say love, friendship, possibility of anything happening. You would've loved it.

Rebekah:
And why is that?

Stefan Salvatore:
Because as much as we both hate to admit it, we care about those things.

Damon Salvatore:
If you're going to be bad, be bad with purpose.

Damon Salvatore:
Otherwise you're just not worth forgiving.

Rebekah:
[about to interrogate Elena, Stefan, and Caroline] Class is in session. You've all been compelled, you know the rules. Answer my questions honestly. No disobedience, no one leaves. April, my sweet, take notes. This is how you get answers in this town. Let's start with a little quiz. In the year 1114, my brother learned, thanks to yours truly, about about a brotherhood of vampire hunters with tattoos that grew with each kill. These tattoos revealed what, Elena?

Elena Gilbert:
A map.

Rebekah:
Which lead to, Caroline?

Caroline Forbes:
A cure for vampirism.

Rebekah:
Perfect. So, we're all caught up. Stefan Salvatore, the last time we saw each other, you had a vampire hunter, but in order to decode the map, you needed the location of the hunter's sword, which you got out of me using some very dirty tricks. Assuming you'd found the sword, you'd also have the cure, and yet you're all still vampires. Which means something went wrong. [to April] What are you doing?

April Young:
Oh, you asked me to take notes.

Rebekah:
I wasn't being literal, darling. But now that you mention it, a flow chart would be nice. Which means index cards and pushpins. Go and fetch.

Elena Gilbert:
April, what's wrong?

April Young:
Nothing. I'm fine.

Elena Gilbert:
But you're crying.

April Young:
It's just the whole mayor thing. You know? It's bringing up stuff with my dad. [pause] And I know you're a vampire.

Elena Gilbert:
Wait. What?

[Rebekah comes up behind Elena and snaps her neck; Elena falls to the floor]

April Young:
Was that necessary?

Rebekah:
No, but it was fun.

April Young:
How many times did you compel me? Don't, just don't lie. Rebekah says you lie.

Elena Gilbert:
Rebekah's not who you think she is, April.

April Young:
What, she's not a 1,000-year-old Original vampire?

Elena Gilbert:
Listen. We can figure this out, but we have to get out of here.

[Elena grabs April's arm and they walk around a shelf; the run into Rebekah]

Rebekah:
Sorry. Not allowed.

Rebekah:
Do you still love Stefan?

Elena Gilbert:
Yes.

Rebekah:
Are you still in love with Stefan?

Elena Gilbert:
No.

Rebekah:
[to Stefan] Did that hurt? Having someone you love drive a dagger through your heart.

Stefan Salvatore:
Go to hell.

Rebekah:
Did... that... hurt?

Stefan Salvatore:
Yes.

Rebekah:
Welcome to the last 900 years of my life.

Rebekah:
Why don't you just give me the cure so I can judge you silently elsewhere.

Elijah:
And what could you possibly want with the cure?

Rebekah:
I want to be human again.

Elijah:
How do you know that being human is the answer you're looking for? I mean, it's nothing but a romantic notion. The grass won't necessarily be greener, Rebekah.

Rebekah:
You might be right. But I don't care. I want to live a simple life as a normal person and when it ends, it ends. We've had 20 lifetimes together, Elijah. Isn't that enough?

Elijah:
I just don't understand. I mean, why must you always consider our family a burden? "Always and forever." I mean, those words are as important to me today as they, as they ever were.

Rebekah:
You will always be my brother and I will never stop loving you, but now it's time for me to live and die the way that I choose. Not the way you and Nik want me to. Please. Please just give me the cure.

Damon Salvatore:
This is even more pitiful than I thought.

Elena Gilbert:
There's still hope.

Damon Salvatore:
I've made a lot of choices that have gotten me here. I deserve this. I deserve to die.

Elena Gilbert:
[Elena moves to lay by Damon and hold his hand] No. You don't.

Damon Salvatore:
I do, Elena. It's ok. 'Cause if I'd have chosen differently, I wouldn't have met you. I'm so sorry. I've done so many things to hurt you.

Elena Gilbert:
It's ok. I forgive you.

Damon Salvatore:
I know you love Stefan. And it will always be Stefan. [Elena lays down on Damon] But I love you. You should know that.

Elena Gilbert:
[Crying] I do.

Damon Salvatore:
You should have met me in 1864. You would have liked me.

Elena Gilbert:
I like you now. Just the way you are. [She leans in and kisses Damon on the lips]

Damon Salvatore:
Thank you.

Elena Gilbert:
You're welcome.

Damon Salvatore:
You should want me dead. I'm the reason Jenna got killed.

Alaric Saltzman:
I don't blame you for Jenna.

Damon Salvatore:
Oh sure you do. Let's not forget I turned your wife into a vampire. You must really hate me for that one.

Alaric Saltzman:
Ok give me your glass. Neither one of us is drunk enough for this conversation.

Stefan Salvatore:
[First line] Thanks for coming Rick.

Damon Salvatore:
Can I get you something to drink, coffee, bourbon, bourbon and coffee?

Alaric Saltzman:
Why would I know anything about the Lockwoods?

Damon Salvatore:
Well you wouldn't, but your dead/not dead vampire wife might!

Alaric Saltzman:
[about Isbel's research] At the time I thought most of which was... fiction.

Damon Salvatore:
[about vampires existing] Like that amazing vampire story!

Alaric Saltzman:
Look Jenna, I know... er... things between you and I have been a little start and stop and I'm sorry for that, but maybe once I can...

Jenna Sommers:
Errr... no. Don't do that. Not the 'half maybe apology, you hope for the future' thing.

Damon Salvatore:
Sorry you can't come too Stef! [Looks over at Elena]

Stefan Salvatore:
[Ignores Damon and talks to Elena] Call me if you need anything.

Damon Salvatore:
Oh, I'll take *really* good care of her. [Stefan and Elena start to kiss, making Damon uncomfortable] Ok... time to go.

Damon Salvatore:
[to Elena] How you doing back there? You know this whole 'pretending to hate me' thing is getting a little silly.

Alaric Saltzman:
I don't think she's pretending.

Damon Salvatore:
Elena I saw the ring. Big tacky thing. It's hard to miss. [Rick lifts his ring up into shot]

Caroline Forbes:
So I don't get to choose the ring I have to wear the rest of my life?

Damon Salvatore:
[Damon, Elena and Alaric are looking at Isabel's belongings at Duke University. Damon realises Vanessa has gone] Where'd she go?

[She appears with a cross and arrow and fires it at Elena, but Damon takes the arrow and saves her]

Damon Salvatore:
Pull it out. I can't reach it Elena. Just pull the damn thing out. It hurts. [Exhales while Elena pulls the arrow out] That b*tch is dead!

Elena Gilbert:
Ah! You're not gonna kill her.

Damon Salvatore:
Watch me. [Smirks]

Elena Gilbert:
Right... I forgot that I was speaking to a psychotic mind who snaps and kills people impulsively. Fine. Go ahead. Do whatever you want.

Damon Salvatore:
You're trying to manipulate me.

Elena Gilbert:
If by 'manipulate', you mean, tell the truth, ok... guilty.

Elena Gilbert:
[to Vanessa] I'm Elena Gilbert, Isabel's daughter and a descendant of Katherine Pierce. And this is Damon who you just shot.

Damon Salvatore:
[to Vanessa] I'd be extra nice to me right now.

Caroline Forbes:
So what do I do when I see the rabbit?

Stefan Salvatore:
Chase it, catch it, feed on it.

Caroline Forbes:
Isn't killing cute defenseless animals the first step in becoming a serial killer?

Stefan Salvatore:
Well you sort of skip 'serial killer' and went straight for 'vampire'. Hey Caroline, if you're not serious about this then I think you should tell me.

Caroline Forbes:
No I am. Look, I swear that I am! Okay, but it's just I haven't been in the sun for days, and everyone's at the swimming hole having fun and Matt is there and he finally told me that he loved me but I've been blowing him off and now YOU want me to eat bunnies and I'm kinda freaking out ok? And now you're laughing at me.

Stefan Salvatore:
No, no, I'm not laughing. None of this is funny. Trust me. But it's just... uh...

Caroline Forbes:
What?

Stefan Salvatore:
When someone becomes a vampire, all their natural behavior gets sort of... uh... amplified.

Caroline Forbes:
What do you mean?

Stefan Salvatore:
I mean as a... uh... as a human I cared deeply for people, how they felt, if they were hurting I'd feel their pain and I'd feel guilty if I was the on who caused it and as a vampire all that got... magnified.

Caroline Forbes:
So you're saying that now I'm basically an insecure, neurotic, control freak, on crack.

Stefan Salvatore:
Well I wasn't gonna say it like that, but...

Elena Gilbert:
[Elena and Victoria go through some of Isabel's things. Elena can see Damon listening in so she hands Vanessa some Vervain] Here. Take this.

Vanessa Monroe:
Does vervain really work?

Damon Salvatore:
[From across the room] No. Not at all.

Vanessa Monroe:
[Leans towards Elena] Can he hear us?

Damon Salvatore:
[Whispering] No, that would be creepy.

Vanessa Monroe:
Can he read minds too?

Damon Salvatore:
Well, if you want to see me naked, all you have to do is ask.

Tyler Lockwood:
[to Matt] Is it me or did Aimee Bradley's ass get hot?

Caroline Forbes:
[Noticing Mason and Stefan looking at each other as Mason passes in his car] Why are you looking at him with your 'serious vampire' look?

Stefan Salvatore:
My wha... my 'serious vampire' look?

Caroline Forbes:
Mmm... it's different from your 'worried vampire look. Neither strays too far from your 'Hey, it's Tuesday' look.

Stefan Salvatore:
Oh, I get it. You think I'm a... you think I'm too serious. Is that it?

Caroline Forbes:
I mean, I wasn't going to say it like that.

Caroline Forbes:
[Sees Matt and Aimee talking] Matt.

Matt Donovan:
What the hell? I've been calling you.

Caroline Forbes:
I know. I got held up, [turns to Aimee] but I'm here now.

Aimee Bradley:
Hey Caroline.

Caroline Forbes:
Go find someone single to stalk Aimee.

Caroline Forbes:
Why is everyone sticking up for Aimee frickin' Bradley?

Caroline Forbes:
So now I have magnified jealousy issues too?

Damon Salvatore:
Any luck?

Elena Gilbert:
There's nothing in here about Katherine that we don't already know.

Damon Salvatore:
Aww man! You know it's a bummer that we aren't friends anymore because I can tell you what I know.

Elena Gilbert:
Now who's' manipulating who?

Vanessa Monroe:
There's no record of werewolf mythology in Mystic Falls, but here are some records of some of the lesser known legends. Everything from a Scandinavian Skin Walkers to the Marsh L'durets. 'Tu De Citli Mesli' which roughly translates into 'The Curse of the Sun and the Moon'

Alaric Saltzman:
It's Native American?

Vanessa Monroe:
Aztec. It explains one origin of the werwolf curse traced through Virginia. The short story, 600 years ago, the Aztecs were plagued by werewolves and vampires. They terrorized the countryside, made farming and hunting impossible, until an Aztec Sharman cursed them. Making vampires slaves to the sun and werewolves servants of the moon. As a result, vampires could only prowl at night and werewolves could only turn on a full moon. When the full moon crest is in the sky, whosever unlucky enough to fall under the werwolf curse turns into a wolf.

Damon Salvatore:
Can they control the transformation?

Vanessa Monroe:
If it were a choice, it wouldn't be called "a curse". Werewolves will attack humans, but instinct in centuries of rivalry have hard-wired them to hunt their prey of choice. Vampires.

[Everyone looks at her]

Damon Salvatore:
Well, if werewolves are hunting vampires, I would know about it.

Vanessa Monroe:
Not if there aren't that many werewolves left alive. Hundreds of years ago vampires hunted them to almost to extinction.

Elena Gilbert:
Why would they do that?

Vanessa Monroe:
To protect themselves. Legend has it that a werewolf bite is fatal to vampires.

Damon Salvatore:
Oh...

Elena Gilbert:
[about her likeness to Katherine] I just... I wanna know why we look alike.

Damon Salvatore:
Head scratcher isn't it?

Elena Gilbert:
Do you know something or are you just being yourself?

Damon Salvatore:
[to Elena about her hatred towards him] You know I chipped a little bit off your wall of hatred.

Damon Salvatore:
You and Katherine have a lot more in common than just your looks.

Katherine Pierce:
[Last line] We're gonna have so much fun together.

Anna:
You were basically using me to turn you into a vampire so you could be with someone else.

Jeremy Gilbert:
No, I wasn't using you.

Anna:
Really? Then, how would you like to define it?

Jeremy Gilbert:
[scoffs] I don't think it's any worse than becoming friends with me so we could give your mother my blood.

Anna:
How do you know that?

Jeremy Gilbert:
It's not important.

Anna:
Seriously, Jeremy. What do you know?

Jeremy Gilbert:
Everything. I know everything.

Anna:
You're missing Elena's introduction.

Jeremy Gilbert:
I don't care.

Anna:
So she has no idea you read her journal?

Jeremy Gilbert:
Well, she keeps things from me, I'm gonna keep things from her.

Anna:
What are you gonna do now? Now that you know everything she's been hiding from you?

Jeremy Gilbert:
I don't know. There's a part of me that's so angry. How she covered up what happened to Vicki and, and erased my memory, but there's also this other part that's glad. I... I don't wanna remember Vicki like that.

Anna:
As a monster?

Jeremy Gilbert:
No. As someone who wanted to hurt me.

Anna:
When I met you, you were just a part of my plan to get my mother back. But then things changed. All the time we spent together. I would never do anything to hurt you. Not now. You know that, right?

Jeremy Gilbert:
Yeah, I know that.

Anna:
Your uncle John wants us dead.

Jeremy Gilbert:
Oh, you don't know that.

Anna:
Yes, I do. He's a hater, Jeremy.

Jeremy Gilbert:
Well, I'm not.

Anna:
No. You're something else entirely.

Jeremy Gilbert:
Oh, yeah? What would that be?

Anna:
My weakness.

Stefan Salvatore:
[Damon on Elena's phone that Stefan has called] Yeah, I don't think she wants to talk to you right now

Damon Salvatore:
Damon, I swear if you touch her...

Stefan Salvatore:
You have a good day now, bye bye. [hangs up on Stefan]

Elena Gilbert:
[about her resemblance to Katherine] You could have told me.

Stefan Salvatore:
I wanted to tell you.

Elena Gilbert:
You said no more lies, only the truth. I can handle the truth, Stefan. As crazy as it is, I can handle the fact that you are a vampire, and you have a vampire brother, and that my best friend is a witch. I can accept the fact that the world is a much more mysterious place than I ever thought possible. But this... this lie, I cannot take. What am I to you? Who am I to you?

Stefan Salvatore:
You are not Katherine. You are the opposite of everything that she was.

Lee:
My girlfriend went to visit Stefan, and Damon killed her. Got it?

Elena Gilbert:
Lexi? Lexi was your girlfriend? She told me about you. She said that you were human.

Lee:
I was.

Elena Gilbert:
Lexi turned you?

Lee:
If you wanna be with someone forever, you have to live forever.

Elena Gilbert:
Why do I look like her? [Katherine]

Stefan Salvatore:
Elena, you've been through so much...

Elena Gilbert:
Why do I look like her, Stefan? What are you not telling me?

Stefan Salvatore:
It didn't make any sense to me. You were a Gilbert and she was a Pierce. But the resemblance was too similar. And then I learned the truth. You were adopted, Elena.

Elena Gilbert:
Am I going to be safe with you?

Damon Salvatore:
Yes.

Elena Gilbert:
Will you promise not to do that mind control thing with me?

Damon Salvatore:
Yes.

Elena Gilbert:
Can I trust you?

Damon Salvatore:
Get in the car. C'mon.

Elena Gilbert:
Let's just say that I'm descended from Katherine, does that make me part vampire?

Damon Salvatore:
Vampires can't procreate... but we love to try. No. If, if you were related, that would mean that Katherine had a child before she was turned.

Elena Gilbert:
Did Stefan think that he could use me to replace her?

Damon Salvatore:
It's kinda creepy if you ask me.

Damon Salvatore:
You okay?

Elena Gilbert:
Don't pretend to care. I know you're gloating inside.

Damon Salvatore:
It's not like we all hang out together at the vamp bar and grill.

Elena Gilbert:
This is kidnapping.

Damon Salvatore:
That's a little melodramatic, don't you think?

Elena Gilbert:
You're not funny.

Sheila Bennett:
I appreciate your help, Stefan.

Stefan Salvatore:
You're welcome... Sheila.

Sheila Bennett:
I wasn't sure you remembered.

Stefan Salvatore:
October, 1969.

Sheila Bennett:
I was barely a teenager.

Stefan Salvatore:
And you were leading what was probably the only anti-war sit-in within miles of Mystic Falls. You know, when you spoke, people were mesmerized. I know I was.

Sheila Bennett:
Until the cops showed up.

Bonnie Bennett:
We will have to make Caroline proud, or she will kill us. I don't know how she does this all the time.

Elena Gilbert:
Well, because she's not human. Obviously?

[Smiles]

Bonnie Bennett:
Obviously.

[laughs]

Jeremy Gilbert:
[to Elena] Yeah, yeah. Set up the goldfish toss, sell all three hundred goldfish. It's going to be epic.

Elena Gilbert:
I was just hoping that this carnival would reel him back into the land of highschool teenager.

Stefan Salvatore:
Oh. Is that what we were doing here?

Damon Salvatore:
Are you worried that one day, all the forest animals are gonna band together and fight back? I mean surely they talk.

Stefan Salvatore:
I'm just happy that's a blood bag and not a sorority girl supplying your dinner.

Damon Salvatore:
I like this. You... walking on egg shells around me because you think I'm going to explode. It's very suspensable. Is Elena worried too? I bet I'm your every conversation.

Stefan Salvatore:
Have you heard from Katherine?

Damon Salvatore:
[Ignoring the question] I think the Lockwood's have a family secret. 'Cause the Gilbert device effected them but vervain didn't, so they're not vampires, they're something else.

Stefan Salvatore:
Is this your new obsession?

Damon Salvatore:
Oh, you'd rather some unknown supernatural element running rampant in out town, Fine, I'll drop it.

Stefan Salvatore:
We haven't seen the last of Katherine. You do know that right? We have no idea what she's up to.

Damon Salvatore:
Sure we do. She came back to press her undying eternal love for you. So I'll let you deal with her, 'cause I have more important things to do like... explode.

Bonnie Bennett:
[to Elena] The ring toss is out of Bart and Homer dolls and Team Jacob Tees.

Damon Salvatore:
Jeremy! So good to see you alive.

Jeremy Gilbert:
Aren't you a little old for a high school carnival?

Damon Salvatore:
A hundred and fifty years too old. [Takes some of Jeremy's popcorn]

Caroline Forbes:
[about her biting the nurse] Urmm... oh, I'm so sorry. Ok. Now what's the story?

Nurse Haynes:
My husband likes to get kinky.

Stefan Salvatore:
[Finds Damon watching Tyler have an arm wrestle with a guy] Aha, you're lurking.

Damon Salvatore:
[Scoffs] I'm observing.

Stefan Salvatore:
More like obsessing.

Tyler Lockwood:
[Mason has just beaten him at arm wresting] Who wants to go next?

Damon Salvatore:
Wait, Stefan wants to go.

Stefan Salvatore:
[Looks at Damon] Yeah sure, I'll... er... give it a shot.

Damon Salvatore:
[shouts] Get 'em Stef!

Damon Salvatore:
[about the Lockwoods] What is up with that family? If they're not vampires, what the hell are they?

Stefan Salvatore:
Oh... urmmm... maybe they're... urmmm... Ninja Turtles.

Damon Salvatore:
[He turns around and sees Caroline standing behind him] Oh, hey Blondie. They let you out?

Caroline Forbes:
I remember.

Damon Salvatore:
What do you remember?

Caroline Forbes:
I remember how you manipulated me, you pushed me around, abused me, erased my memories, fed on me.

Damon Salvatore:
You're crazy.

Caroline Forbes:
Well the memories have been coming back. In pieces.

Damon Salvatore:
You can't remember. It's impossible. I mean unless you're were becoming a... [realises]

Caroline Forbes:
I've got a message from Katherine. She said 'Game On'.

Damon Salvatore:
Wait... [gets pushed by Caroline]

Caroline Forbes:
You suck. [Walks away]

Stefan Salvatore:
[about Caroline becoming a vampire] How did this happen?

Damon Salvatore:
Well, I fed her blood, Katherine obviously killed her and A plus B equals...

Damon Salvatore:
Your silence is deafening Stefan.

Damon Salvatore:
Wait. Wasn't there a school carnival the night you staked Vicki? Look at how the town repeats itself.

Bonnie Bennett:
I can't believe this is happening.

Damon Salvatore:
[Appears holding a shovel] Come on, don't pout about it. Got a body to bury.

Damon Salvatore:
[to Jeremy] Look, I don't do the 'Big brother' thing very well, so I haven't got any milk and cookies to offer you.

Elena Gilbert:
Stefan, what are we doing here? We're going to get caught.

Stefan Salvatore:
Well I compelled the guard to go on breaks so I could kiss my girlfriend, onto of the Ferris Wheel. [Ferris Wheel lights up]

Elena Gilbert:
Stefan...

Stefan Salvatore:
We have to take these moments Elena. Alright? What Katherine did to Caroline could just be the beginning and... and then there's things with Tyler's family which we don't even understand yet, I know there's always the D word but I came back to this town to start a life with you. We can't forget to live it.

Elena Gilbert:
[Smiles] Stefan, how are we going to get to the top?

Stefan Salvatore:
I guess you'll just have to hold on tight. [He wraps his arms around Elena before jumping up to the top of the Ferris Wheel]

Damon Salvatore:
If I see something I haven't seen before I'll throw a dollar at it.

Anna:
You just couldn't live without me, huh?

Jeremy Gilbert:
Well, I kinda miss my daily dose of cute stalker chick.

Damon Salvatore:
[about Stefan] There was a time that I trusted him more than anyone.

Elena Gilbert:
Trust breeds trust. You have to give it to get it.

Damon Salvatore:
Are you lecturing me?

Elena Gilbert:
Do you need to be lectured?

Damon Salvatore:
[referring to Katherine] I just want her back. I'm sure you can understand that.

Elena Gilbert:
I can understand that you would do anything for her, yes.

Damon Salvatore:
Then you understand what I will do if anyone gets in my way.

[Damon threatens to hurt Elena unless Stefan gives him their father's journal]

Stefan Salvatore:
You won't kill her.

Damon Salvatore:
[forces Elena to drink his blood] I can do one better. Give me the book, Stefan, or I'm snapping her neck, and you and I will have a vampire girlfriend.

Elena Gilbert:
[referring to the plan to open the tomb] Since when am I helping?

Damon Salvatore:
Well, Stefan's helping, and you've taken up residence in Stefan's bed. Ergo...

Elena Gilbert:
[to Bonnie] You're a powerful witch goddess. Seize the day, Brunhilda.

[Jeremy's cell phone rings; he doesn't answer]

Damon Salvatore:
Who are you dodging?

Jeremy Gilbert:
This girl, Anna. She can be, uh... persistent.

Damon Salvatore:
Is she hot?

Jeremy Gilbert:
Yeah... yeah, but she can be weird.

Damon Salvatore:
Hot trumps weird... trust me.

Alaric Saltzman:
I made a few discoveries about your town.

Stefan Salvatore:
So you show up like Van Helsing?

[Alaric tries to shoot Stefan with a wooden stake]

Stefan Salvatore:
I'm not gonna hurt you, unless you try that again.

Elena Gilbert:
You know, I really think that Damon believes that everything he's done, every move that he's made, he's done for love. It's twisted, but... kind of sad.

Stefan Salvatore:
There are other ways to get what you want. You don't have to kill people. Damon has no regard for human life. He enjoys inflicting pain on others. For a hundred and forty-five years, every single time that I have let my guard down and let Damon back into my life, he's done something to make me regret that. I'm not gonna make that mistake again.

Damon Salvatore:
[to Stefan and Elena, when they have agreed to help Damon with his plan] You know, I really like this whole menage-a-threesome team thing. It's got a bit of a kink to it. Don't screw it up!

[after Katherine drains her victims' blood in front of Damon]

Damon Salvatore:
What happens to the bodies?

Katherine Pierce:
I'll take them into the woods and the other animals will finish them off.

Jenna Sommers:
[whispering to Elena about Damon] He is ridiculously hot!

Elena Gilbert:
Shh! He's an ass...

Damon Salvatore:
If I see something I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it.

Stefan Salvatore:
If I let myself care, all I feel is pain!

Caroline Forbes:
One day, you're helping Lily, the next you're here being nice. Just pick a side, Enzo... Us or them.

Enzo:
Oh, God. You sound just like her.

Caroline Forbes:
That's because she doesn't trust you, and honestly, neither do I.

Rebekah:
There has to be more to this dress.

Klaus:
There's not.

Rebekah:
So, women in the 21st century dress like prostitutes, then. You know, I got dirty looks for wearing trousers.

Klaus:
You wore trousers so women today could wear nothing.

Caroline Forbes:
Please don't ask my mother for her opinions.

Stefan Salvatore:
You heard that?

Caroline Forbes:
Yeah. I've got superhearing. I hear everything.

Stefan Salvatore:
Only when you listen. [pause] Why?

Caroline Forbes:
Why was I listening?

Stefan Salvatore:
Why do you have a thing for me?

Caroline Forbes:
I don't.

Stefan Salvatore:
Ok. Um... Why did you have a thing for me?

Caroline Forbes:
We said that we would never talk about this again, so just...

Stefan Salvatore:
Look, Caroline, please just talk to me. Tell me how, tell me why. Please just make me understand how it is that I missed it.

Caroline Forbes:
What kind of a stupid question is that? Why did I have a thing for you? I don't know, Stefan. Maybe it's because I thought you worth having a thing for, because when I woke up as a vampire you told me that I would get through it and I did, because when I watched Elena move on with your brother I couldn't imagine why she would let anyone like you go, because you were practically my best friend, because I trusted you.

Stefan Salvatore:
I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not seeing it, I'm sorry for not...

Caroline Forbes:
Feeling it back?

Stefan Salvatore:
No. I didn't say that. I... I... Look. I don't know what I felt. You know, my head was all over the place, but I am incredibly sorry for the way that I treated you.

Caroline Forbes:
Yeah. Well I know what you felt, Stefan, because even if just a little tiny piece of you felt for me what I was starting to feel for you you wouldn't have walked away, and I don't hate you for that. I don't hate you for mourning your brother, I don't hate you for being the biggest jerk on the planet while doing so, and I accept your apology.

Stefan Salvatore:
But you do still hate me.

Caroline Forbes:
Yes. Yeah, I hate you because if I don't hate you for ruining our friendship, then I have to hate myself for ruining it, and I think that I deserve better than that.

Damon Salvatore:
What's so special about this Bella girl? Edward's so wipped.

Caroline Forbes:
You have to read the first book first, otherwise it won't make sense.

Damon Salvatore:
Uh, I miss Ann Rice, she was so on it.

Caroline Forbes:
Hey, how come you don't sparkle?

Damon Salvatore:
Because I live in the real world where vampires burn in the sun.

Caroline Forbes:
Yeah, but you go in the sun.

Damon Salvatore:
I have a ring, it protects me. It's complicated.

Damon Salvatore:
[after Stefan stabbed him through the t-shirt] This is John Varvatos, dude. Dick move.

Caroline Forbes:
Why don't you sparkle?

Damon Salvatore:
Because I live in the real world where vampires burn in the sun.

Damon Salvatore:
[looks at shirt] This is John Varvatos, dude. Dick move.

Elena Gilbert:
Who are you?

Anna:
I'm Anna. Your brother may have mentioned me. I mean, we're, like, practically dating.

Anna:
[explaining to Damon that Katherine is still alive] Last I saw her was Chicago, 1983. She knew where you were, Damon. She didn't care.

Damon Salvatore:
[to Elena] I didn't compel you in Atlanta because we were having fun. I wanted it to be real. I'm trusting you. Don't make me regret it.

Stefan Salvatore:
[trying to find where Anna took Elena] Please, just tell me what you know. It's Elena, Damon. If you know something, tell me!

Damon Salvatore:
I mean this sincerely: I hope Elena dies.

Anna:
[to Elena] Well, well. Elena Gilbert. You really are Katherine's doppelganger. You must have the Salvatore boys reeling.

[Anna catches Elena trying to escape after Ben's mind control doesn't work]

Anna:
Seriously?

Ben McKittrick:
I told her not to move. I did that eye thing you taught me!

Anna:
You forgot to listen about vervain. She dates a vampire, Ben. Duh!

Damon Salvatore:
I'm here to eat cotton candy and steal your girl.

Stefan Salvatore:
[last lines; voiceover] I felt there was hope that somewhere deep inside... something in Damon was still human, normal. But I was wrong, there's nothing human left in Damon. No good, no kindness, no love. Only a monster... who must be stopped.

Matt Donovan:
What am I supposed to do, Ty? She made her choice.

Tyler Lockwood:
Let her know she made the wrong one.

[throws a football at Stefan]

Elena Gilbert:
That throw was insane! I didn't know you play football.

Stefan Salvatore:
I used to, it was a long time ago.

Elena Gilbert:
So why don't you try out for the team?

Stefan Salvatore:
Yeah, I don't think so.

Elena Gilbert:
So you don't like football?

Stefan Salvatore:
No, I love football, I think it's a great sport but in this case, I don't think football likes me. You saw Tyler over there and we both know how Matt feels.

Elena Gilbert:
They don't know you. To them your just mysterious loner guy. Wouldn't hurt to be a part of the team, make some friends.

Stefan Salvatore:
Says the girl who spends her alone time writing in a cemetery.

Elena Gilbert:
Hey, come on, there's more to me than just gloomy graveyard girl. There's a whole another Elena you have yet to meet. She was into everything, very busy.

Stefan Salvatore:
Well, I look forward to meeting her, and when will that be?

Elena Gilbert:
Soon. She's working on it.

Elena Gilbert:
FYI, our team sucks. They could use you.

Stefan Salvatore:
Can't, am I loner.

Bonnie Bennett:
Seriously, where is Caroline?

Elena Gilbert:
I don't know, it's not like her.

Bonnie Bennett:
I'll try her again.

[Caroline turns up with Damon]

Bonnie Bennett:
That must be the mystery guy from the Grill.

Elena Gilbert:
That's not a mystery guy. That's Damon Salvatore.

Bonnie Bennett:
Salvatore? As in Stefan?

Caroline Forbes:
I got the other brother, hope you don't mind.

Damon Salvatore:
How were tryouts? You make the team? Very Emerson, the way you reveal your soul with so many... adjectives.

Stefan Salvatore:
What are you doing here?

Damon Salvatore:
I've come to apologize. I've been doing some thinking, some soul searching and I want us to start over. We need to put the past behind us. You're my little brother, and if you wanna live a normal happy human life, then I want that for you. Maybe I can do it too, that I can learn to be a non-living, living person. Maybe there's hope for both of us.

[He laughs after a pause]

Stefan Salvatore:
You know it doesn't have to be this way Damon

Damon Salvatore:
Course it doesn't. I saw Elena today, BTW - that means by the way. She was at cheerleading practice, she looked so perky in her little short shorts. Simmer down, I didn't go near her. I've got my own cheerleader now. Oh, that reminds me I've gotta run, got a date. Sweaty palms, wish me luck.

Bonnie Bennett:
Today I'm obsessed with numbers. I keep seeing 8,14 and 22. How weird is that?

Elena Gilbert:
Maybe we should play the lottery.

Damon Salvatore:
I like you, you know how to laugh and you make Stefan smile which is something I haven't seen in a very long time.

Elena Gilbert:
Earlier... did you mean Katherine? How did she die?

Damon Salvatore:
Fire, tragic fire.

Elena Gilbert:
Recently?

Damon Salvatore:
Seems like it was yesterday.

Elena Gilbert:
What was she like?

Damon Salvatore:
She was beautiful, a lot like you in that department. She was also very complicated and selfish and at times not very kind but very sexy and seductive.

Elena Gilbert:
So, which one of you dated her first?

Damon Salvatore:
Nicely deduced. Ask Stefan, I'm sure his answer differs from mine.

Elena Gilbert:
Look at you! You look hot in your jersey.

Stefan Salvatore:
What happened? No more cheerleader?

Elena Gilbert:
I quit, I'm a quitter.

Stefan Salvatore:
No, hey, you're not a quitter. You suffered a great loss, you're not the same person. You should be looking ahead, you should be starting over, OK? I hope you don't think this is too soon or to weird or whatever, but I wanted you to have this.

[Stefan gives Elena a locket necklace]

Elena Gilbert:
Oh my god, it's beautiful.

Stefan Salvatore:
It's something that I've had forever and I've never wanted to give it to anyone, until now. I'd very much like it if you'd wear it for me, for good luck.

Elena Gilbert:
Is that rose I smell?

Stefan Salvatore:
No, it's an herb. It's nice, huh?

Elena Gilbert:
I love it.

Stefan Salvatore:
And I wanted to thank you for pushing me to try out for the team. It feels really good.

Elena Gilbert:
We're a pair. I quit, you start.

Stefan Salvatore:
We're a work in progress. We'll figure it out.

Elena Gilbert:
Can I ask you a question and you give me a serious no joke response?

Bonnie Bennett:
Course. What is it?

Elena Gilbert:
The bad mojo when you touched Stefan and you got that reaction...

Bonnie Bennett:
Know what, forget I said that. Your little dinner party plot won me over.

Elena Gilbert:
No, Bonnie, seriously, what was it? Did you see something?

Bonnie Bennett:
It wasn't clear like a picture, like today I keep seeing those same numbers I told you about 8, 14, 22. When I touched Stefan, it was a feeling and it vibrated through me and it was cold and it...

Elena Gilbert:
And what?

Bonnie Bennett:
It was death. It's what I imagine death to be like.

Matt Donovan:
You going to be able to play?

Stefan Salvatore:
Oh, yeah, I'm good.

Matt Donovan:
What you did back there, you had Jeremy's back.

Stefan Salvatore:
He's a messed up kid, somebody's gotta look out for him.

Matt Donovan:
I know. This week at practice I was a dick.

Stefan Salvatore:
You had your reasons.

Matt Donovan:
No excuse. Good luck, we're lucky to have you.

[Matt and Stefan shake hands and Matt walks away]

Damon Salvatore:
Isn't that nice. Stefan joins a team and makes a friend. It's all so Rah-Rah, go team!

Stefan Salvatore:
Not tonight, I'm done with you.

Damon Salvatore:
Nice trick with Elena. Let me guess, vervain in the necklace. I admit I was a bit surprised, it's been a while for anyone to resist my compulsion. Where'd you get it?

Stefan Salvatore:
Does it matter?

Damon Salvatore:
Guess I could seduce her the old fashion way or I could just... eat her.

Stefan Salvatore:
No, you're not going to hurt her, Damon.

Damon Salvatore:
No?

Stefan Salvatore:
Because deep down inside there is a part of you that feels for her. I was worried that you had no humanity left inside you, that you had actually become that monster you pretend to be.

Damon Salvatore:
Who's pretending?

Stefan Salvatore:
Then kill me.

Damon Salvatore:
Well, I'm tempted.

Stefan Salvatore:
No, your not. You've had life times to do it and yet here I am, I'm still alive and there you are. You're still haunting me after 145 years. Katherine is dead and you hate me because you loved her, and you torture me because you still so. And that, my brother, is your humanity.

Damon Salvatore:
It's all so 'Rah, rah! Go team! Yeah!

Stefan Salvatore:
You hate me because you loved her and you torture me because you still do. And that, my brother, is your humanity.

Damon Salvatore:
How can you know so much?

Mason Lockwood:
There's not much to do on the other side but sit around and watch other people screw things up.

Jeremy Gilbert:
[about Anna] I can touch her, Elena. I can kiss her again. And I know it's wrong and I, I know that I shouldn't feel this way but I do. I love her. I've always loved her.

Elena Gilbert:
But it's not real. She's dead. Gone. Everything that you're holding onto is in the past, Jer. Are you gonna love a ghost for the rest of your life?

Damon Salvatore:
Greeting, Blondie... Witchie. I think you got your voodoo wires all crossed when you got rid of Vicki Donovan.

Bonnie Bennett:
What do you mean? Why?

Damon Salvatore:
Because I'm pretty sure I just got spit-roasted by Mason Lockwood's ghost.

Bonnie Bennett:
What?

Caroline Forbes:
And why would you think that?

Damon Salvatore:
Maybe because he chained me to a chair and shoved a hot poker in my chest. Let's just say I'm having deja vu.

Caroline Forbes:
I thought you said ghosts couldn't physically interact with people.

Bonnie Bennett:
They can't.

Damon Salvatore:
Yeah, well, I don't have time for a vengeful Lockwood. When I kill someone, they're supposed to stay dead. Whatever you screwed up, fix it.

Klaus:
[after telling Caroline Forbes that Tyler Lockwood may return to Mystic Falls] He's your first love. I intend to be your last, however long it takes.

Tyler Lockwood:
Screw you, dude.

Damon Salvatore:
Dude? Really? Dude?

Elena Gilbert:
Part of me wishes that I could forget, too. Forget meeting you, finding out what you are and everything that's happened since.

Stefan Salvatore:
That's what you want?

Elena Gilbert:
Yes, it is. Because I don't want it to be like this. I don't want to feel like this. But I can't. With everything that's happened, I can't lose the way I feel about you.

Elena Gilbert:
[about Jeremy] Can you make him forget?

Stefan Salvatore:
Elena...

Elena Gilbert:
Stefan, please. I don't know how he'll ever get past this. I just want him to forget everything that happened.

Stefan Salvatore:
If I did it, there's no guarantee that it would work... because of who I am, because of how I live. I don't have the ability to do it right.

Damon Salvatore:
I can do it. If this is what you want. I'll do it.

Vicki Donovan:
[grabs Elena by the throat] Let's get one thing straight, you perky little b*tch. You had my brother whipped for fifteen years. Fifteen years, and then you dumped him. When I look at you, that is all I see. Just so you know. And I'm gonna see Jeremy whenever I wanna see Jeremy, because I have some fun new toys to play with, and I won't think twice about ripping your little head of. You got it?

Vicki Donovan:
Why did you do it?

Damon Salvatore:
I was... bored.

Vicki Donovan:
You did this to me out of boredom?

Damon Salvatore:
It's one of the pitfalls of eternity.

Vicki Donovan:
[to Stefan] Ugh, does this sketchy feeling ever go away? It's like I have a massive hangover. And this daylight thing is a b*tch! I need more blood. Where's your bathroom, I have to pee. Why do I have to pee? I thought I was dead.

Elena Gilbert:
Is Stefan here?

Damon Salvatore:
Yep.

Elena Gilbert:
Where is he?

Damon Salvatore:
And good morning to you, little Miss I'm-On-A-Mission.

Elena Gilbert:
How can you be so arrogant and glib after everything that you've done?

Damon Salvatore:
And how you can you be so brave and stupid to call a vampire arrogant and glib?

Caroline Forbes:
I am gonna drink until someone is hot enough to make out with.

Damon Salvatore:
Your life is pathetic. Your after-life doesn't have to be.

Damon Salvatore:
[to Elena when she discovers the body of Vicki] You confuse me for someone with remorse.

Damon Salvatore:
Snatch, eat, erase.

Rebekah:
Okay, spill. Why are you being nice to me?

Matt Donovan:
I drove you home. You don't have a car.

Rebekah:
Not just that. I mean, helping me with the dance, and, and standing up to Caroline. I don't buy it.

Matt Donovan:
Buy what?

Rebekah:
The whole gentlemanly thing. There's everything my family's done to you. What are you up to?

Matt Donovan:
It's sad that you can't just get a ride home from school without thinking there's some ulterior motive.

Rebekah:
[laughs] You're right. I'm probably gonna organize the whole dance and then have to compel myself a date.

Matt Donovan:
[laughs] Let's not get crazy. Goodbye, Rebekah.

Rebekah:
Goodbye, Matt. Thanks for the ride.

Jeremy Gilbert:
So you traveled across the country to get me to talk to a dead vampire?

Damon Salvatore:
Dead vampire is redundant, but yes.

Jeremy Gilbert:
Can we do this later? My friend just got here- and yes, Damon, I actually have some.

Jeremy Gilbert:
Did you kill him?

Damon Salvatore:
No. But it'll give us a head start. Come on.

Damon Salvatore:
For the record, she's the one who wanted to stop at a motel, not me.

Damon Salvatore:
Alright, Whoopi. What do you need? Candles? Incense? Pottery wheel?

Jeremy Gilbert:
Alright, you, uh... You got a picture of her?

Damon Salvatore:
Picture? From what, our trip to Disneyland?

Damon Salvatore:
Come on, Rose. You're not actually gonna make us wait, are you? I know you're obsessed with me!

Damon Salvatore:
She spent her last day in paradise. Soaking in the sun and reminiscing about what it means to be human. And when death came, she didn't fear it.

Elena Gilbert:
I was with her on her last day, and she definitely wasn't in paradise.

Jeremy Gilbert:
It was in the dream he gave her. She's here.

Alaric Saltzman:
You think they've got Jeremy by now?

Stefan Salvatore:
They should. I haven't heard from them. Elena's worried about him. Now that she can't count on his ring anymore.

Alaric Saltzman:
Who knows? Maybe his alter-ego is a pot-smoking hippie pacifist.

Klaus:
[to Stefan] So, the fate of the entire vampire race depends on you finding a stake. [to Alaric] And to get it, we need you to pass out, which means that I feel totally justified doing this- [kills Alaric] There. Sleeping like a baby.

Elena Gilbert:
Why don't you let people see the good in you?

Damon Salvatore:
Because when people see good they expect good. And I don't wanna have to live up to anyone's expectations.

Damon Salvatore:
Next time we compel him, remind me to make him better at baseball.

Jeremy Gilbert:
So, where are we?

Damon Salvatore:
Corner of Somewhere and Nowhere where Kol can't find us.

Jeremy Gilbert:
I can't believe that Kol was a vampire.

Damon Salvatore:
Well, didn't you find it weird that you made a friend so fast? I mean, have you met you?

Jeremy Gilbert:
Alright, uh, tell me something about her.

Damon Salvatore:
Um... Well, she did this little thing with her tongue...

Elena Gilbert:
Something that matters, Damon.

Elena Gilbert:
Is she lonely on the other side?

Rose:
No. I enjoy it. I was running so much while I was alive, now I have the freedom to do whatever I want.

Jeremy Gilbert:
She says not to worry. She's happy.

Damon Salvatore:
Is she still hot?

Rose:
Tell him he's still dripping with sex, too. [Jeremy raises his eyebrows disbelievingly] Fine. Tell him I miss him.

Jeremy Gilbert:
She misses you.

Rose:
And tell him I'm rooting for him and Elena.

Jeremy Gilbert:
[Looks around] She, uh, she misses both of you.

Jeremy Gilbert:
She was sired by someone named Mary Porter.

Damon Salvatore:
Ugh. Scary Mary.

Damon Salvatore:
[Answering phone] There you are! Any sign of Evil-laric?

Stefan Salvatore:
Nope. Only Dead-Alaric.

Damon Salvatore:
What?

Stefan Salvatore:
Don't worry. He was wearing his ring. Klaus was here. Let's just say he's not very patient.

Elena Gilbert:
You weren't in class, I was worried.

Stefan Salvatore:
Yeah, I got your messages, and... sorry I didn't get back to you. But what I want to say shouldn't be said over the phone.

Elena Gilbert:
A simple "I didn't kill my brother" text would have sufficed.

Stefan Salvatore:
I didn't kill my brother... as much as he deserved it.

Damon Salvatore:
I got the town off our back, it was for the greater good, but I'm sorry. And to prove it, I'm not going to feed on a human for at least a... week. I'll adopt the Stefan diet, only nothing but feathers.

Stefan Salvatore:
Because I realize killing your closest and oldest friend is beyond evil and yet, somehow it's worthy of humor.

Damon Salvatore:
Are you mimicking me?

Damon Salvatore:
And I can go back to sulking and Elena-longing and forehead brooding. This is fun, I like this.

Stefan Salvatore:
Yes, Stefan. Now that the secret society of vampire-haters if off our back, I can go back to my routine of "how can I destroy Stefan's life this week?"

Stefan Salvatore:
And I can go back to sulking and Elena-longing and forehead brooding. This is fun, I like this.

Stefan Salvatore:
And I will finally reveal the ulterior motive behind my evil and diabolical return to Mystic Falls.

Damon Salvatore:
Yeah... I'm done.

Elena Gilbert:
I'm sorry, Stefan. I thought that I couldn't be with you, but I can. You don't have to push me away. I can do this.

Stefan Salvatore:
I can't. I... I have to leave, Elena. Too many people have died, too much has happened.

Alaric Saltzman:
[to Jeremy] You know that your old teacher had a jackass file? No joke. It's, uh, typed on a label. It has all the troublemakers in it. But really, it's just an opus to you.

Stefan Salvatore:
This isn't about love. This is about revenge.

Elena Gilbert:
I'm sorry for compelling away the memories. They were only half mine.

Damon Salvatore:
We'll make new ones.

Elena Gilbert:
What are you doing?

Damon Salvatore:
Waiting for you.

Elena Gilbert:
On the ground where we first met?

Damon Salvatore:
I'm feeling symbolic.

Elena Gilbert:
It's bad, isn't it?

Damon Salvatore:
I believe you owe me a dance Miss Gilbert.

Elena Gilbert:
Damon, just tell me. How bad is it?

Damon Salvatore:
Dance with me. Please.

Elena Gilbert:
You're going easy on me, come on. This is supposed to be a special moment.

Alaric Saltzman:
Yeah, look I can't do this.

Elena Gilbert:
Don't do that, don't give up like that.

Alaric Saltzman:
Why not? I have nothing left to fight for.

Elena Gilbert:
Here, say it.

Matt Donovan:
No, I'm not doing this.

Elena Gilbert:
Fine I'll say it. Here lies Elena Gilbert, the fun girlfriend and amazing friend.

Matt Donovan:
I'm glad one of us can find humour in this.

Elena Gilbert:
I have to find humour in this Matt because the alternative... the alternative would be to say goodbye and I'm just not ready for that yet.

Elena Gilbert:
Hang on, hang on. Wait I just need two seconds.

Stefan Salvatore:
Well you are the on who chose a five mile hike to say goodbye.

Elena Gilbert:
This isn't goodbye Stefan. Besides this hike is where I told you I didn't want to be a vampire. I thought it would be fitting, considering.

Stefan Salvatore:
Because you're a weak human again?

Elena Gilbert:
You knew that I never wanted to be a vampire. Even before we took our first steps off that mountain, you just wanted to hear me say it out loud.

Stefan Salvatore:
A lot of good that did.

Elena Gilbert:
I guess what I was trying to say is that you knew me better than anyone, you always have which is why you already know how impossible it is for me to find the words to say goodbye.

Stefan Salvatore:
Don't. I can't do this, not now, not ever.

Damon Salvatore:
Dance with me. this was supposed to be our big night.

Elena Gilbert:
Tell me Damon. I can see it all over your face, how bad is it?

Damon Salvatore:
Kai linked you and Bonnie. You won't wake up until she dies.

Elena Gilbert:
What?

Damon Salvatore:
He won Elena.

Elena Gilbert:
What are you going to do? Damon?

Elena Gilbert:
Take care of everyone while I'm gone, ok?

Caroline Forbes:
I will, I promise.

Elena Gilbert:
Promise me something, both of you. Write it all down. Everything you accomplish in your lives, every crush, when you fall in love, when you start a family, every time you fantasize about wanting to killing Damon. Write it down. So that one day when I wake up I can read all about my best friend's lives and feel like I was there.

Bonnie Bennett:
I'm so sorry, Elena I'm really... I'm so sorry.

Elena Gilbert:
This isn't your fault. Hey, we'll both get everything we want; we just can't have it at the same time.

Elena Gilbert:
Bonnie Bennett, you have spent your entire life making sacrifices for me, now it's my turn to do it for you.

Matt Donovan:
There I did it, you happy?

Elena Gilbert:
Very. Now it's your turn newbie.

Matt Donovan:
So I'm a cop huh?

Elena Gilbert:
That's my hope for you Matt. In our crazy lives together you've always stayed the same; human, loyal and good. My hope is that you spend the rest of your life fighting for people like you.

Matt Donovan:
You know there's a good chance that I'll never see you again.

Elena Gilbert:
Matt, look at everything the two of us have survived. I like our odds.

Elena Gilbert:
You're going to think that the pain will never end, but it will. But first you have to let it all in. You can't fight it, it's bigger than you. You have to let yourself drown in it but then eventually you'll start to swim and every single breath that you fight for will make you stronger. And I promise you you'll beat it.

Tyler Lockwood:
So, where are we in this vision of yours?

Elena Gilbert:
Not here, not in Mystic Falls. You need to get out of here Tyler. You need to figure out what it is you want to do, who you want to be and then just really fight for it. You're going to be fine Tyler, you're a wolf now embrace it, don't fight it. Let it be the light that makes you extraordinary.

Elena Gilbert:
Thank you for bumping into me that day in the hallway. I never thought I would be happy again and then I met you. You changed everything for me; you quite literally saved my life. I love you so much, which is why I can't wait to find out what new life you've chosen for yourself in 60 or 70 years when I see you again.

Stefan Salvatore:
I can guarantee it won't be high school.

Elena Gilbert:
Just be happy. I'll see you soon.

Stefan Salvatore:
I'll see you Elena.

Stefan Salvatore:
You think she'll be safe here? If word gets out that her body has the cure inside, every vampire who wants to be a human will come busting through that door.

Damon Salvatore:
Bonnie will spell it shut. We're under strict orders not to pen it for anyone.

Stefan Salvatore:
I guess that means...

Damon Salvatore:
It means it's time for me to say goodbye.

Damon Salvatore:
You could have just told me what to do.

Elena Gilbert:
I knew what you were going to do.

Damon Salvatore:
You knew that the evil, selfish Damon Salvatore would give up the love of his life to save her best friend.

Elena Gilbert:
I knew that the love of my life would stand by his best friend even if it meant having to life without me for a little while.

Damon Salvatore:
Things are going tp be awfully dull around here without you.

Elena Gilbert:
No they're no Damon because you're not going to sit around waiting for me.

Damon Salvatore:
Well I was thinking of doing the starvation diet, 'least desiccation makes the time go faster.

Elena Gilbert:
Damon, this isn't going to work if you just shut down. I need you to live your life, enjoy yourself. I want you to be happy, now how about that dance.

Stefan Salvatore:
Yesterday you told me that you had a list with all the ways that loving me has ruined your life and I get it. I haven't been easy on you but I made a list too, of all the ways that loving you has changed mine. You were by my side when I needed a friend, you made me laugh, you made me dance, you told me I would find love again and I understand if you need time to heal and to live your life without me. I understand if I have to wait for you and I will, I'll wait and when your ready for me I will be ready for you.

Elena Gilbert:
Are you ready for this?

Damon Salvatore:
Ready to spend the next 60 years of my life without you in it? Who's ever going to be ready for that?

Elena Gilbert:
I love you, Damon Salvatore.

Damon Salvatore:
I love you too.

Damon Salvatore:
I do believe in killing the messenger, you know why? Because it sends a message.

Rose:
Elijah was the Easter Bunny compared to Claus.

Damon Salvatore:
[to Rose] I was shaking. You've made your point.

Damon Salvatore:
[Whispers to Rose about Elena] She's in denial.

Stefan Salvatore:
Shut up Damon.

Elena Gilbert:
Tell everyone I wasn't feeling well and I went home from school.

Caroline Forbes:
Can't believe I'm agreeing to this. I'm a terrible liar.

Elena Gilbert:
I'll keep Stefan busy. I don't want him to know what I'm up to.

Caroline Forbes:
I'm even worse at duplicity... and you know this.

Elena Gilbert:
You managed to keep me occupied when Katherine payed Stefan a visit.

Caroline Forbes:
Yeah... cause she threatened me. Not that I'm saying you should use that a a tactic!

Damon Salvatore:
Alright Rosebud, I need some answers!

Damon Salvatore:
Please don't tell me you're crying cause your buddy trevor lost his head?

Stefan Salvatore:
Ok, how about this, today when we're fighting, if I say 'I can't do this anymore Elena' what I'm really mean is that I love you.

Elena Gilbert:
[Smiles] And when I say 'Fine Stefan. Whatever', what I mean is 'I love you too.'

Mason Lockwood:
Tell your brother to watch his back.

Stefan Salvatore:
Well I'm guessing that he only has to worry about that during a full moon, otherwise your not as strong. Am I right? Or you would have killed Damon by now. There's one of you, there's two if us. I think you're the one who has to watch his back.

Damon Salvatore:
[Appears behind Stefan] What are you doing?

Stefan Salvatore:
Negotiating peace on your behalf.

Damon Salvatore:
But I don't want peace!

Stefan Salvatore:
Well, consider it opposite then.

Damon Salvatore:
Stefan. Please tell me you don't seriously think a handshake just solved our problem?

Stefan Salvatore:
No actually, I think that the first chance Mason Lockwood gets he's going to drive a stake through your heart... and then through mine, all because you took it upon yourself to try and kill him. So thank you, because we don't have enough problems!

Sarah:
When did Jeremy Gilbert get so cute?

Damon Salvatore:
[Watching Elena and Stefan 'argue'] Relationships are about communication.

Damon Salvatore:
Hello Mason. Working hard?

Mason Lockwood:
Doing my part.

Damon Salvatore:
I heard you talked to Stefan.

Mason Lockwood:
Nice guy.

Damon Salvatore:
Yeah. a *lot* nicer than me.

Mason Lockwood:
Well, nice is overrated.

Damon Salvatore:
That's what I think.

Stefan Salvatore:
[Seeing Damon and Mason talking] Please tell me that you were just bonding.

Caroline Forbes:
[to Stefan] Hey. Get some bunny in ya?

Tyler Lockwood:
I almost killed a girl today.

Mason Lockwood:
What?

Tyler Lockwood:
It was an accident and I was being stupid. She's ok though, but there I was, you know just for a moment, for a split second I hoped she die. Look, whatever this is inside me, I don't want any part of it. I don't ever want to feel that way again. I won't. I can't.

Elena Gilbert:
[Damon is about to speak as he walks into the room] Caroline's sleeping on the couch.

Damon Salvatore:
I heard. And you?

Elena Gilbert:
I'm going home. [Walks past Damon and to the front door] What you did for Caroline's mom... that's the Damon who was my friend. [Opens the door and is about to leave]

Damon Salvatore:
Hey. Stefan didn't drink the people blood. If you're curious... but he needs to... and deep down you know that. [Elena and Damon look at each other before he walks away]

[after the vampire Caroline kills the two deputies and reveals herself to Sheriff Forbes]

Caroline Forbes:
[sheepishly] Hi, Mom.

Damon Salvatore:
Liz Forbes was my friend.

Damon Salvatore:
In her last moments she asked me to pass along a message to her daughter, but I cut her off before she could say too much, told her she could tell Caroline herself.

Damon Salvatore:
She didn't get that chance.

Damon Salvatore:
Your mom wanted you to know how proud of you she was, and she should be.

Damon Salvatore:
You're a beautiful, strong woman, a generous friend, and a bright light in a sea of dark.

Damon Salvatore:
She said you were extraordinary, and you are, and so was she.

Damon Salvatore:
Liz was a hero to this town, she was a hero to all of you, and she was a hero to me.

Damon Salvatore:
Goodbye, Sheriff.

Damon Salvatore:
You will be missed.

Jeremy Gilbert:
So, I have an answer.

Anna:
To what?

Jeremy Gilbert:
Why you should turn me.

Anna:
We're back to that?

Jeremy Gilbert:
Look. I wake up every day and I feel okay, but there's something missing. Like a... like a hole. Some people, they fit. In life or whatever. I, I don't.

Anna:
So, you want a pity turn. I don't think so.

Jeremy Gilbert:
No, you should turn me because I don't have anything else.

Anna:
Do you even know why we turn other people? It's not to give someone a one-way ticket out of lonerhood. Okay? One, we need someone to do our dirty work. Two, revenge. Three, boredom, but you know that never turns out well. And then, you know, there's the obvious one. You love someone so much that you would do anything to spend all of eternity with them. I'm sorry but you don't fit any of those categories yet.

Pearl:
Jeremy Gilbert? Is that what you've been up to?

Anna:
He's my friend. What's the big deal?

Pearl:
His family is the reason I was stuck in a tomb for over a century.

Anna:
That doesn't mean he'll make the same choices.

Pearl:
I want you to stop seeing him.

Anna:
I've been on my own for a long time, Mother. I can make my own decisions.

Pearl:
Then stop acting like a child. As soon as Jeremy finds out what you really are, he will turn on you.

Anna:
He already knows.

Pearl:
What did you just say?

Anna:
Jeremy knows. He likes it, and he likes me.

Stefan Salvatore:
I gotta get my strength back up.

Damon Salvatore:
I have two liters of soccer mom in the fridge. No?

Stefan Salvatore:
We'll talk when I get back?

Damon Salvatore:
All right. Give my regards to the squirrels.

Damon Salvatore:
[about Pearl] She's gonna help me get Katherine back.

Elena Gilbert:
Of course she is. Damon gets what he wants, as usual, no matter who he hurts in the process.

Damon Salvatore:
You don't have to be snarky about it.

Elena Gilbert:
I woke up this morning to learn that all the vampires have been released from the tomb. I've earned snarky.

Damon Salvatore:
How long are you going to blame me for turning your birth mother into a vampire?

Elena Gilbert:
I'm not blaming you, Damon. I've accepted the fact that you're a self-serving psychopath with no redeeming qualities.

Damon Salvatore:
[sarcastic] Ouch.

Jeremy Gilbert:
Come on, you can't keep saying no to me.

Anna:
Look, I'm not gonna turn someone who learned everything he knows about vampires from Netflix.

[Mayor Lockwood invites Pearl and Anna to join him and Tyler at the Mystic Grill]

Tyler Lockwood:
Be more creepy, Dad. Not like your son is standing right here.

Mayor Richard Lockwood:
Grow up. Elections are coming; she's a constituent. And a rich one from the looks of it.

Tyler Lockwood:
And you can tell all that by looking at her ass?

Damon Salvatore:
Teacher by day, vampire hunter by night.

Alaric Saltzman:
I have you to thank for that.

Damon Salvatore:
If I had a good side, not a good way to get on it.

Elena Gilbert:
What are you?

Stefan Salvator:
You know.

Elena Gilbert:
No. I don't.

Stefan Salvator:
Yes, you do, or you wouldn't be here.

Elena Gilbert:
It's not possible. It can't be.

Stefan Salvator:
Everything you know, and every belief that you have is about to change. Are you ready for that?

Elena Gilbert:
What are you?

Stefan Salvator:
[pause] I'm a vampire.

Stefan Salvator:
I will love you forever.

Katherine Pierce:
Forever is a very long time, you know.

Stefan Salvator:
Not long enough.

Vicki Donovan:
Why don't you have a girlfriend? You're like totally cool and so hot.

Damon Salvatore:
I know.

Vicki Donovan:
Don't you wanna be in love?

Damon Salvatore:
I've been in love. It's painful and pointless and overrated.

Vicki Donovan:
Except when it isn't.

Damon Salvatore:
I'm getting really bored and really impatient; and I don't do bored and impatient.

Stefan Salvator:
That's the thing about Damon. He doesn't get mad. He just gets even.

Elena Gilbert:
I gave you today just like you asked. And I understand that you would never to do anything to hurt me, and I promise I will keep your secret, but... I can't be with you, Stefan. I'm sorry I... I just can't.

Vicki Donovan:
I don't want this.

Stefan Salvator:
I know. You're gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay. I can help you.

Vicki Donovan:
Is it better? Is it better, will I be better?

Damon Salvatore:
Here. [Hands Caroline a glass of blood]

Caroline Forbes:
[She takes the glass from Damon] I'm still shaking.

Stefan Salvatore:
[He runs into living room where Caroline and Damon are] What happened?

Damon Salvatore:
[to Caroline] Go ahead. Tell. [to Stefan] You're gonna love this.

Caroline Forbes:
I saw Katherine today.

Stefan Salvatore:
Where?

Caroline Forbes:
At the grill. I just stopped by to gawk and... stalk Matt.

Damon Salvatore:
[Caroline is babbling on and is side tracking from the point] Skip the teen drama and get to it.

Damon Salvatore:
I'm going to go to the Masquerade Ball and I'm gonna kill her. Tonight.

Stefan Salvatore:
You're not gonna kill her.

Damon Salvatore:
Don't give me that goody goody crap.

Stefan Salvatore:
You're not gonna kill her.

Damon Salvatore:
Oh really?

Stefan Salvatore:
Because I am. [Damon and Stefan exchange grins]

Bonnie Bennett:
[Bonnie sees everyone doing things in the Salvatore house] What's going on?

Jeremy Gilbert:
[Jeremy appears from behind her] We're gonna kill Katherine. [Walks away]

Stefan Salvatore:
I can explain.

Bonnie Bennett:
Please.

Stefan Salvatore:
We're... gonna kill Katherine.

Damon Salvatore:
[Sarcastically] Yeah. Cold feet's a big no and I want this thing going wrong when someone chickens out. Caroline?

Matt Donovan:
[Thinking Katherine is Elena] Elena?

Katherine Pierce:
Matt? You look dashing.

Matt Donovan:
Err... I thought you said you weren't coming.

Katherine Pierce:
I couldn't miss it. You really are hot in a suit. I would love to just... [takes a deep breath]

Katherine Pierce:
God, you're hot... now go away.

Matt Donovan:
Thank you.

Elena Gilbert:
Where's Jeremy? Is he hungry?

Jenna Sommers:
He already left. For the Lockewood party.

Elena Gilbert:
[Looks behind her at Alaric before turning to Jenna] He went to that?

Jenna Sommers:
I'm glad. He needs to have more fun. Lose some of that 'emo' thing.

Katherine Pierce:
[about Jenna] How does one stab ones self?

Katherine Pierce:
[Sees Stefan holding a stake] You don't really think that you can kill me with that thing now, do you?

Stefan Salvatore:
No. [Looks behind Katherine and shows Damon holding a staking gun] But he can.

Katherine Pierce:
The three of us together, just like old times. The brother who loved me too much and the one that didn't love me enough.

Damon Salvatore:
And the evil slut vampire who only loved herself.

Katherine Pierce:
What happened to you Damon? You used to be so sweet and polite.

Damon Salvatore:
Oh that Damon died a looong time ago.

Damon Salvatore:
Sorry about your pet wolf. Maybe should have kept him on a tighter leash.

Damon Salvatore:
[Damon is in his own word before realising Stefan and Katherine are talking] What are you mumbling about over there?

Stefan Salvatore:
In 1864 you faked your death. Who were you running from Katherine?

Katherine Pierce:
In 1987, you were in Chicago. At a concert of all places with that wench Lexi. Come on Stefan, don't look so surprised. Of course I checked in on you over the years. You were standing in the front row, dancing all night, you were watching Bon Jovi and I was watching you.

Stefan Salvatore:
What were you running from?

Katherine Pierce:
[Mouths] I love you.

Katherine Pierce:
[Sees Damon pouring scotch into a glass] I'll have one of those.

Damon Salvatore:
[High voice] Right away Miss Katherine.

Damon Salvatore:
[Jenna gives Damon her shot glass. Everyone leaves but Mason] She doesn't like me very much.

Mason Lockwood:
We haven't met. Mason Lockwood. [He offers his hand to Damon]

Damon Salvatore:
[Damon takes Mason's hand before letting go] Oh sure hey, Damon Salvatore.

Mason Lockwood:
[Smiles ] I know. Heard great things about you.

Damon Salvatore:
[Looks surprised] Really? That's weird. 'Cuz I'm a dick. [Smirks]

Katherine Pierce:
Are we really gonna do this? We both know I can rip you to shreds and do my nails at the same time.

Stefan Salvatore:
Why are you back in town?

Katherine Pierce:
Three reasons. You, you and... you.

Elena Gilbert:
[Damon just appears] What do you want?

Damon Salvatore:
So this is where you spend your time when you're not stabbing people in the back.

Elena Gilbert:
I tricked you into telling the truth. That's not stabbing you in the back. It's using your own tactics against you.

Damon Salvatore:
Where are you going?

Elena Gilbert:
I've made myself clear Damon, I want nothing to do with you. [Leaves the table]

Damon Salvatore:
Ok. See you at Jenna's barbecue.

Elena Gilbert:
[Turns around surprised] How do you know about Jenna's barbecue?

Damon Salvatore:
It was my idea. Jenna went to high school together with Mason Lockwood, so I figured a social gathering would be a good way to get to know the guy. So I told Rick to tell Jenna and... [interupted]

Elena Gilbert:
Does Jenna know you're going to be there? 'Cause she's not exactly a fan of yours.

Damon Salvatore:
[to waitress with Damon's Peach Combo] Perfect. Thankyou. [to Elena] I'm hoping this Peach Combo will pave the way. [Gets up from table]

Elena Gilbert:
What are you up to?

Damon Salvatore:
I'm gonna put some silver into Mason Lockwood and prove that he's a werewolf. See you at the barbecue. [Smirks]

Stefan Salvatore:
[Walks into his house and spots Katherine reading his journal] Shouldn't read someone's journal.

Katherine Pierce:
I know. I'm sorry but it was too tempting all of your inner thoughts and feelings laying there on your desk for me to read.

Stefan Salvatore:
What do you know about werewolves?

Katherine Pierce:
I know not to pet one.

Stefan Salvatore:
So you're saying that all the Lockwood's are werewolves?

Katherine Pierce:
The Lockwood gene runs in the Lockwood family. Not that they're all wolves.

Stefan Salvatore:
How many other werewolves are out there? I mean is it just limited to the Lockwoods?

Katherine Pierce:
No. There are others. Not many. Practically instinct. They many exist in books and really bad movies.

Katherine Pierce:
I must admit I'm rather surprised that you've come looking for me.

George Lockwood:
Because you're the rope in the Salvatore brothers tug of war?

Katherine Pierce:
No. Because I'm a vampire who could kill you in your sleep.

Jenna Sommers:
Be nice when Damon learns to keep his paws of you.

Mason Lockwood:
Ah ha, good news, found the shot glasses.

Elena Gilbert:
That would be my exit. [leaves]

Jenna Sommers:
I'm here ten minutes and I'm back underneath the bleachers at the pep rally.

Mason Lockwood:
It's just like old times huh? Only I didn't swipe this bottle from my old man.

Jenna Sommers:
I have no secrets, only dirty shame. [Raises shot glass]

Alaric Saltzman:
To dirty shame.

Stefan Salvatore:
I know we've only known each other for a short while. And I know I'm in competition for your affections but, uh, I've never net a woman quite like you. I-I look at you and I see an angel. It's to a touch of skin, my entire body ignites. I kiss you and I know that I'm falling in love. [kisses Katherine] I am in love with you.

Katherine Pierce:
There is just so much you don't know about me Stefan.

Stefan Salvatore:
More to learn and love. [smiles]

Jenna Sommers:
Dress. Ballerina.

Caroline Forbes:
Puppy... Puppy... Puppy with a tutu.

Damon Salvatore:
No.

Jenna Sommers:
Puppy... Dog... Hound dog... something about a hound dog.

Mason Lockwood:
Dances with wolves

Damon Salvatore:
Mason wins. Again.

Jenna Sommers:
How is that a wolf?

Damon Salvatore:
Aunt Jenna is getting tipsy.

Elena Gilbert:
Will you stop plying her with alcohol?

Damon Salvatore:
Thank you so much for inviting me.

Jenna Sommers:
Did I have a choice?

Damon Salvatore:
I know what you must think about me... [interrupted]

Jenna Sommers:
No you don't. you have never dated you. I have dated many yous.

Damon Salvatore:
Well... I'm a working progress.

Jenna Sommers:
Mason was a catch. He had girls lining up.

Damon Salvatore:
[to Mason] Really? Huh, I pegged you for a lone wolf.

Mason Lockwood:
I'm sure I wasn't half the lady killer you were.

Mason Lockwood:
Jenna just brought out guitar hero. Might be time to mutiny.

Damon Salvatore:
Well I just happen to like guitar hero. So you my friend, you are barking up the wrong tree.

Mason Lockwood:
Ok. Enough with the innuendoes. You win. You're hilarious.

Damon Salvatore:
Thank you.

Mason Lockwood:
There was confusion. I could chain myself up in time. I have no control once I shift.

Damon Salvatore:
Aww. No obedience school?

Caroline Forbes:
Elena, do you really think that you will have a future with Stefan? Before you realize it, you're gonna be age 70 and in diapers and he will still be smoking hot.

Damon Salvatore:
You spent the last century and a half being the poster child for Prozac. Now you want me to believe this new you has nothing to do with human blood?

Damon Salvatore:
You seem awful chipper lately. Less doom and gloom, more pep in your step.

Klaus:
In what world do the words tell no one mean tell your brother and every teenage sycophant in town?

Stefan Salvatore:
The secret's safe. No one who knows about the cure will endanger us. Trust me, you know I want to find it more than anyone else.

Klaus:
Well then, I suggest you find some more vampires for Jeremy to kill before I'm tempted to offer you up as a victim.

Caroline Forbes:
It's just, as her best friend, it is my duty to warn her when she's making a giant mistake, right? And now she's taking Damon's side on everything.

Klaus:
So, being a vampire's changed her?

Caroline Forbes:
Being a vampire amplifies who you already are. It doesn't turn you into a completely different person.

Klaus:
It's very peculiar. [as he smiles knowingly to himself]

Caroline Forbes:
What's that look for?

Klaus:
It'll all make sense eventually.

Elena Gilbert:
[about Jeremy] Tell me that you haven't been making him kill vampires, Stefan.

Stefan Salvatore:
We need the map to get the cure.

Elena Gilbert:
[angrily] If getting my humanity back means stripping Jeremy of his, then I don't want the cure!

Stefan Salvatore:
He's the only way to fix all of this.

Elena Gilbert:
You mean me. The only way to fix me. You don't have to love me like this. This is who I am now. The old Elena died when she went off that bridge. Let her go.

Rebekah:
He's a vampire. We're a predatory species. We don't have time to care about humans and their silly, little lives.

Caroline Forbes:
[weakly opens her eyes to see Kalus in her room] Are you going to kill me?

Klaus:
[pained] On your birthday? You really think that low of me?

Caroline Forbes:
Yes.

Klaus:
[leans down to look at her werewolf bite] That looks bad. My apologies. You were just collateral damage, it's nothing personal. I love birthdays.

Caroline Forbes:
Yeah, aren't you like a billion or something?

Klaus:
You'll have to adjust your perception of time when you become a vampire Caroline. Celebrate the fact that you are no longer bound by trivial human conventions. You're free.

Caroline Forbes:
[rasping] No... I'm dying.

Klaus:
And I could let you, die, if that's what you want. If you really believe your existence has no meaning. I thought about it myself once or twice over the centuries, truth be told. But I'll let you in on a little secret, there's a whole world out there waiting for you, great cities and art and music, genuine beauty, and you can have all of it. You can have a thousand more birthdays... all you have to do is ask.

Caroline Forbes:
[tearfully] I don't want to die.

Klaus:
[bites his wrist as he picks Caroline up to give her his blood] There you go, sweetheart. Have at it. [she begins to drink] Happy birthday, Caroline.

Damon Salvatore:
Alright, Klaus has 6 siblings. Rebekah is now with Klaus. There was one dead kid in the old world, one dead kid in the new world, which leaves Elijah and two others. Three sleeping originals, four coffins. So, who is in the locked box?

Stefan Salvatore:
No idea. But whatever is in there, Bonnie seems to think will help us kill Klaus. So, the sooner she can get this open, the sooner we will know if she's right.

Damon Salvatore:
[doubtful] Oh, you think the spirits of a bunch of dead witches that can make the coffins invisible would have figured out how to open one.

Caroline Forbes:
[trying to walk away] I can't talk to you.

Tyler Lockwood:
I know you're upset, but...

Caroline Forbes:
[rattled] Upset? You almost got Jeremy killed! And before you ask me to understand, or to support you, can you at least tell me what you're planning to do about your sire-bond to Klaus?

Tyler Lockwood:
There is nothing that I can do about it, Caroline! That's the point. I just wanted you to know that I understand why you can't be with me. Even though I want to put you first, before anyone, I can't. I'll never be able to. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I just want you to know that.

Caroline Forbes:
[softening] I'm sorry too.

Tyler Lockwood:
[walking in, seeing the blood on the floor] You called? I'm here. What happened?

Klaus:
What happened is Stefan had two paths in front of him and he chose the one that made me angry. I need you to help me do something about that.

Tyler Lockwood:
Can't you just leave me out of it?

Klaus:
What would be the point of that?

Tyler Lockwood:
Seriously man, can't you just ask another hybrid to do your bidding? I lost my friends, my girlfriend.

Klaus:
Right, your girlfriend. About her... I need you to bite her.

Tyler Lockwood:
[not believing] What?

Klaus:
Don't make me repeat myself.

Tyler Lockwood:
A hybrid bite will kill a vampire.

Klaus:
Yeah, I know exactly what it will do. Stefan pushed me too far, so I'm pushing back.

Tyler Lockwood:
I'm not biting Caroline.

Klaus:
Tyler, I've been supernaturally blessed with the good fortune of a sire-bond to you. So, one could consider this me putting your undying loyalty to the test.

Tyler Lockwood:
What the hell is wrong with you? I'm not hurting Caroline!

Klaus:
Alright. Alright. I'm disappointed, but you know, it's your choice... free will and all that. I'll find another way to strike at Stefan.

Dr. Meredith Fell:
I'm glad to see you're still alive. A part of me thought you would have dropped dead in your sleep.

Alaric Saltzman:
Well, I guess I have nine lives.

Dr. Meredith Fell:
Not a bad thing to have in a town with a vampire problem.

Damon Salvatore:
Oh, please don't tell me you're gonna drink the Klaus Kool-Aid.

Sheriff Liz Forbes:
I'm not gonna let him hold this town hostage. But, I'm also not gonna let innocent people get caught in the cross-fire in a pissing contest between a hybrid and a vampire.

Sheriff Liz Forbes:
Liz, I'm impressed, you're all strong and sheriff-y.

Sheriff Liz Forbes:
I'm not kidding, Damon. Get Stefan to stand down from this one before someone gets hurt.

Tyler Lockwood:
I take it all back. Everything I said this morning. Klaus can't control me. Not when it comes to you. I won't let him.

Caroline Forbes:
Tyler, It's okay. Maybe we just weren't meant to be together. Maybe we just have to accept that and move on.

Tyler Lockwood:
I'm not moving on from anything. I love you.

Klaus:
[standing at the door] Tyler came to see me. Poor boy, he seemed quiet distressed, he said Caroline had a terrible accident.

Matt Donovan:
You made him do this to her. He would have never done something like this.

Klaus:
I'm here to help, Matt. My blood will heal her.

Damon Salvatore:
You know, Stefan won this round for us today. He pushed Klaus to the edge and Klaus blinked.

Elena Gilbert:
Well, his methods sucked!

Damon Salvatore:
Still, we needed it. Klaus has been calling all the shots, and Stefan beat him at his own game. He was the better villain.

Elena Gilbert:
Don't sound so impressed.

Damon Salvatore:
[smiling a bit] Well, I can't help but be a little proud.

Elena Gilbert:
I feel like, I've been holding on to the girl that was supposed to die here with her parents. The girl who had a normal life, and didn't fall in love with vampires.

Matt Donovan:
You're not that girl anymore. It's okay if you want to let her go.

Elena Gilbert:
Is it? 'Cause I feel like I disappointed her a little like, like I disappointed them. My parents.

Matt Donovan:
My two cents, as a guy who knew that other girl, you're doing a lot better than you think.

Bonnie Bennett:
[as they enter the crypt] This is creepy, even for us.

Elena Gilbert:
[taking out a cake] No, Caroline was right... technically, she's dead. Sorry. But you don't need a birthday, you need a funeral. You need to say goodbye to your old life, so that you can move on with your new one.

Caroline Forbes:
Okay... here lies Caroline Forbes...

Elena Gilbert:
[putting candles on the cake] Cheerleader, Miss Mystic Falls, third grade hopscotch champion...

Bonnie Bennett:
friend, daughter, overachiever...

Matt Donovan:
Mean girl... sometimes... no offense

Caroline Forbes:
[smiling] None taken.

Elena Gilbert:
She was 17, and she had a really good life. So rest in peace, so that she can move forward. That's what you really need. What we all really need.

Elena Gilbert:
Dear Diary, today will be different. It has to be. I will smile, and it will be believable. My smile will say, "I'm fine, thank you. Yes, I feel much better." I will no longer be the sad little girl that lost her parents. I will start fresh, be someone new. It's the only way I'll make it through.

Bonnie Bennett:
Hold up, who's this?

Elena Gilbert:
All I see is back.

Bonnie Bennett:
It's a hot back! I'm sensing Seattle and he plays a guitar.

Elena Gilbert:
You're really going to run this whole psychic thing into the ground, huh?

Bonnie Bennett:
Pretty much.

Caroline Forbes:
His name is Stefan Salvatore. He lives with his uncle up at the old Salvatore boarding house. He hasn't lived here since he was a kid. Military family, so they moved around a lot. He's a Gemini and his favorite color is blue.

Bonnie Bennett:
You got all of that in one day?

Caroline Forbes:
Oh, please. I got all of that between third and fourth period. We're planning a June wedding.

Stefan Salvatore:
Crow's a bit much, don't you think?

Damon Salvatore:
Wait till you see what I can do with the fog.

Bonnie Bennett:
So, where is he?

Elena Gilbert:
I don't know, you tell me. You're the psychic one, remember?

Bonnie Bennett:
Oh, right I forgot. Give me a sec, gran says I need to concentrate.

Elena Gilbert:
Wait, you need a crystal ball.

[hands her a beer bottle]

Damon Salvatore:
When was the last time you had something bigger than a squirrel?

Damon Salvatore:
I was impressed. I'll give it a six. Missing style, but I was pleasantly surprised. Very good with the whole face thing, it was good.

Stefan Salvatore:
It's all fun and games, huh Damon? But wherever you go, people die.

Damon Salvatore:
That's a given.

Stefan Salvatore:
Not here, I won't allow it.

Damon Salvatore:
I take that as an invitation.

Stefan Salvatore:
Damon, please, after all these years, can't we just give it a rest.

Damon Salvatore:
I promised you an eternity of misery, so I'm just keeping my word.

Bonnie Bennett:
You sober yet?

Caroline Forbes:
Nope.

Bonnie Bennett:
Come on, I need to get you home, I need to get me home.

Caroline Forbes:
Why didn't he go for me?

Bonnie Bennett:
I'm not touching that.

Caroline Forbes:
Why is it that the guys I want, never go for me? I try so hard, maybe because I'm inappropriate and I always say the wrong things and Elena always says the right things. I mean, she doesn't even try and he just picks her!

Bonnie Bennett:
Caroline, it isn't a competition.

Caroline Forbes:
Yeah, it is.

Stefan Salvatore:
I know it's late. But uh... I needed to know that you were ok.

Elena Gilbert:
You know, for months, that's all anyone's wondered about me. If I'll be OK.

Stefan Salvatore:
What do you tell them?

Elena Gilbert:
That I'll be fine.

Stefan Salvatore:
Do you ever mean it?

Elena Gilbert:
Ask me tomorrow.

Elena Gilbert:
It's warmer in the house. We can talk. Would you like to come in?

Stefan Salvatore:
Yes.

Elena Gilbert:
You know, you're kinda the talk of the town

Stefan Salvatore:
Am I?

Elena Gilbert:
Mysterious new guy, oh yea

Stefan Salvatore:
Well you have the mysterious thing going on too, with a twinge of sadness

Elena Gilbert:
What makes you think I'm sad?

Stefan Salvatore:
Well we did met in a graveyard

Elena Gilbert:
Right. No, technically we met in the Men's room.

Damon Salvatore:
Your hairs different, I like it

Damon Salvatore:
It's been 15 years, Damon

Damon Salvatore:
Thank god! Couldn't take another day of the 90's. That horrible grunge look did not suit you. Remember Stefan, it's important to stay away from fads

Stefan Salvatore:
What are you doing here?

Damon Salvatore:
I missed my little brother

Stefan Salvatore:
You hate small towns, they're boring there's nothing for you to do

Damon Salvatore:
I've been keeping myself busy

Stefan Salvatore:
You left that girl alive tonight. That was very careless of you

Damon Salvatore:
Yeah, that could be a problem... for you

Mr. Tanner:
The battle of Willow Creek happened right here in our very Mystic Falls. How many casualties resulted in this battle? Miss Bennett?

Bonnie Bennett:
A lot? I'm not sure, but like a whole lot

Mr. Tanner:
Cute becomes dumb in an instant Miss Bennett. Mr Donovan, maybe you can take this opportunity to over come your embedded jock stereotype

Matt Donovan:
That's OK Mr Tanner, I'm cool with it

Mr. Tanner:
Elena? Surely you can enlighten us on one of the towns most historic events

Elena Gilbert:
I'm sorry, i don't know

Mr. Tanner:
I was willing to be lenient last year, for obvious reasons, but the personal reasons ended with summer break

Stefan Salvatore:
There was 346 causalities, unless your counting civilians

Mr. Tanner:
That's correct, Mr?

Stefan Salvatore:
Salvatore

Mr. Tanner:
Salvatore? Any relation to the original settlers here in Mystic Falls?

Stefan Salvatore:
Distant

Mr. Tanner:
Very good, except that there were no civilian casualties in this battle

Stefan Salvatore:
Actually there were 27 civilian casualties. Confederate soldiers fired on the church believing it to be hiding weapons, but they were wrong. It's a night of great loss. The founders records are stored in civil hall if you want to brush up on your facts, Mr Tanner.

Stefan Salvatore:
I wanted to apologize for my disappearing act earlier, I know it was... strange.

Elena Gilbert:
No worries. I get it, blood makes you squeamish.

Stefan Salvatore:
Um, something like that.

Caroline Forbes:
Why didn't he go for me? How come the guys that I want never want me? I'm inappropriate, always say the wrong thing and Elena always says the right thing. She doesn't even try, and he just picks her. And she's always the one that everyone picks. For everything. And I try so hard and I'm never the one...

Caroline Forbes:
Elena, oh my God! How are you? Oh, it's so good to see you. [to Bonnie] How is she, is she good?

Elena Gilbert:
Caroline, I'm right here. And, I'm fine. Thank you.

Caroline Forbes:
Really?

Elena Gilbert:
Yes! Much better.

Caroline Forbes:
You poor thing. [hugs Elena] See you guys later? [walks away]

Elena Gilbert:
[to Bonnie] No comment.

Stefan Salvatore:
For over a century I have lived in secret, hiding in the shadows, alone in the world, until now. I am a vampire. And this is my story.

Stefan Salvatore:
I shouldn't have come home, I know the risk, but I had no choice, I have to know her.

Elena Gilbert:
Dear Diary, today will be different, it has to be, I will smile and it will be believable. A smile that will say "I am fine, thank you... Yes I feel much better." I will no longer be the sad little girl who lost her parents, I will start fresh, be someone new. It's the only way I can make it through.

Elena Gilbert:
Dear Diary, I made it through the day! I must have said "I'm fine, thanks!" at least 37 times, and I didn't mean it once. And no one noticed. When someone asks how are you, they really don't want an answer...

Damon Salvatore:
Tell me: when was the last time you had something stronger than a squirrel?

Stefan Salvatore:
[First line] You're staring.

Elena Gilbert:
[Laying by the side of Stefan in her bed] I'm gazing.

Stefan Salvatore:
It's creepy.

Elena Gilbert:
It's romantic. [Stefan puts the pillow he's laying on over his face] Hey! [Stefan takes the pillow off and Elena and Stefan start to kiss] Ohh... this is bad of us.

Stefan Salvatore:
Yes it is...

Elena Gilbert:
If Katherine finds out...

Stefan Salvatore:
Katherine won't. [They start kissing again as the image fades to Katherine and Mason]

Katherine Pierce:
[Mason and Katherine are kissing] Shhh... Miss. Flowers will think I'm a floozie if I have a man in here.

Mason Lockwood:
Why are you staying here?

Katherine Pierce:
Because I like this bed and breakfast, don't you?

Mason Lockwood:
I love it. [Kisses Katherine before the image turns to Stefan and Elena kissing]

Elena Gilbert:
Ok... I... uummm... I need to be in the shower.

Stefan Salvatore:
Love it. Let's go. [Smiles]

Elena Gilbert:
[laughs] No, just me. I'm late. I'm decorating at the Lockwood charity thing.

Stefan Salvatore:
What do you know? So am I.

Elena Gilbert:
You think that's really a good idea to be at their house today? Mason Lockwood tried to kill you.

Katherine Pierce:
[Turns back to Katherine and Mason kissing] Where's the moonstone?

Mason Lockwood:
Somewhere safe.

Katherine Pierce:
Don't you trust me?

Mason Lockwood:
I don't trust anyone. [Turns back to Stefan and Elena]

Stefan Salvatore:
I don't trust Mason. I want to be there today to keep an eye on him.

Elena Gilbert:
Ok, but then we can't touch, or talk. And now lingering stares.

Stefan Salvatore:
No. None of that.

Elena Gilbert:
Hmm... what do you think will happen if Katherine finds out that we were fake fighting?

Katherine Pierce:
[Turns back again] Are you scared that I'm gonna kill you?

Mason Lockwood:
[Smiles] No, you won't. [They kiss before Katherine starts kissing his neck] Oww Kath, easy!

Katherine Pierce:
Did I hurt you? Sorry. [She smiles before the image changing back again]

Elena Gilbert:
[Pricks her finger with a pin] Oww.

Stefan Salvatore:
Did it hurt?

Elena Gilbert:
It's ok. A little bit every day to make you stronger right? [Stefan takes Elena's blood before the image moves back again]

Mason Lockwood:
What happens once I give you the moonstone?

Katherine Pierce:
We'll live happily ever after. I promise.

Mason Lockwood:
I'll bring it tonight, I promise. [Moves to Elena and Stefan]

Stefan Salvatore:
I promise you. We're gonna get through this.

Elena Gilbert:
I love you Stefan. [Turns again]

Katherine Pierce:
You know I love you.

Mason Lockwood:
I love you too. [Turns to Stefan and Elena kissing and then back again to Katherine and Mason kissing]

Jeremy Gilbert:
[Knocks on the Salvatore brothers door before Damon answers] I need to talk to ya.

Damon Salvatore:
And when I need to talk to you? [Tries to close the door on Jeremy]

Jeremy Gilbert:
Tyler Lockwood has to kill someone to activate his curse. He's not a werewolf yet.

Damon Salvatore:
[Sarcastically] Wow, fascinating. Not enough. [Tries to close the door again on Jeremy, but Jeremy pushes it open]

Jeremy Gilbert:
But Mason Lockwood is, and he's looking for a moonstone. A special rock connected to the werwolf legend. That's why he's here.

Damon Salvatore:
A moonstone?

Jeremy Gilbert:
And I know where it is.

Damon Salvatore:
And you're bringing me this, why?

Damon Salvatore:
What does your sister say about this little discovery? [Sees Jeremy's unease] Oh, you haven't told her, have you?

Jeremy Gilbert:
Elena doesn't want me to get involved in all of this.

Damon Salvatore:
And you're a Gilbert. You just can't help yourself.

Damon Salvatore:
[to Jeremy] Wow. Your search for lives purpose is as obvious as it is tragic.

Jenna Sommers:
Stefan. Hey.

Stefan Salvatore:
Hey.

Jenna Sommers:
I'm cooking dinner tonight. Rick will be there. You should come.

Stefan Salvatore:
Oh... ummm... you know Elena and I were kinda taking a... a pause.

Jenna Sommers:
Really? Cause that's not what it sounded like this morning. [Smiles] Light sleeper.

Damon Salvatore:
Mmmm... Vanessa, the hottie!

Alaric Saltzman:
[Talking about the curse] Since then... err... werewolves can only turn on a full moon and vampires are... weakened by the sun.

Damon Salvatore:
[Waves his hand with his ring on it] Most of them anyway.

Damon Salvatore:
Who has the stone now?

Jeremy Gilbert:
Tyler.

Damon Salvatore:
Can you get it?

Jeremy Gilbert:
Yeah.

Damon Salvatore:
See, now your life has purpose.

Alaric Saltzman:
Maybe Mason Lockwood believes he can use the moonstone to break the curse.

Damon Salvatore:
If we start believing in some supernatural witchy-woo legend from a picture book, we're idiots. Who has the stone now?

Jeremy Gilbert:
Tyler.

Damon Salvatore:
Can you get it?

Jeremy Gilbert:
Yeah.

Damon Salvatore:
See, now your life has purpose.

Jeremy Gilbert:
So you do believe it?

Damon Salvatore:
It's the same book that says a werwolf bite kills a vampire. Ignoring it would make me an even bigger... idiot.

Mason Lockwood:
[Sees Stefan after thinking he was killed] Hey Stefan.

Stefan Salvatore:
Hey Mason.

Mason Lockwood:
Wasn't expecting you here... or anywhere.

Elena Gilbert:
Damon. What are you doing here?

Damon Salvatore:
Looking for my baby bro. Speaking of... you need to tell yours to stop following me around.

Elena Gilbert:
What's going on?

Damon Salvatore:
Ask 'Eager Beaver'.

Elena Gilbert:
[to Jeremy] Ah! No, no way, no, no, no, no... there's no Damon and you. There's Damon and there's whoever Damon's using. And those people? They end up dead.

Stefan Salvatore:
[Talking about Damon including Jeremy in the things about werewolves] Why would you involve Jeremy? [Slaps Damon on the arm]

Damon Salvatore:
He's playing 'Indiana Jones'. He involved himself.

Bonnie Bennett:
What do you want?

Damon Salvatore:
A favour.

Bonnie Bennett:
Like that's gonna happen!

Damon Salvatore:
So predictable!

Stefan Salvatore:
[to Bonnie] I know how you feel about helping us out, but since you're the one who linked Mason to Katherine, we finally have an opportunity to get an upper hand on both of them, so just hear us out.

Damon Salvatore:
Pretty please.

Stefan Salvatore:
Can you play nice? Please?

Damon Salvatore:
Yes.

Damon Salvatore:
All you have to do is touch Mason Lockwood again, see if he gave Katherine the moonstone.

Bonnie Bennett:
My visions don't work like that. I don't get to ask questions.

Damon Salvatore:
How inconvenient!

Damon Salvatore:
[about Bonnie's power on hurting vampires with her mind] Is a vampire specific?

Bonnie Bennett:
It would work on anyone with a supernatural healing ability.

Damon Salvatore:
Good. Good, good.

Bonnie Bennett:
Damon, I'm not gonna help you hurt him.

Damon Salvatore:
Mason Lockwood is a werewolf, Katherine is evil, they're the bad guys. Really? You're gonna play Morality Police with me right now?

Bonnie Bennett:
Damon, I'm not gonna help you hurt him.

Damon Salvatore:
Mason Lockwood is a werewolf, Katherine is evil, they're the bad guys. Really? You're gonna play Morality Police with me right now? Lets put it to you another way, they're a threat to Elena, but you witch are gonna get over yourself and help us. [Stefan walks over]

Stefan Salvatore:
Yeah, he meant that as a question, with a please on the end.

Damon Salvatore:
Absolutely.

Caroline Forbes:
[about her being a vampire and her instincts which come with it] I'm getting better at it. I'm better than Stefan. He's a... bit of a problem drinker. A bloodaholic.

Damon Salvatore:
She seduce you? Tell you she loved you? You're supernatural, so she can't compel you. I'm sure she used her other charms. Katherine's good that way.

Mason Lockwood:
[Talking about Katherine] She's going to use it to lift the curse.

Damon Salvatore:
Of the moon? So why would a vampire help a werewolf break a curse which keeps them from turning whenever they want?

Mason Lockwood:
So I wouldn't have to turn anymore!

Damon Salvatore:
Why?

Mason Lockwood:
Because she loves me.

Damon Salvatore:
[Chuckles] Now I get it. You're just stupid! Katherine doesn't love you, she's using you, you moron!

Damon Salvatore:
You know, I look at you and I see myself. A less dashing, less intelligent version.

Stefan Salvatore:
I'm so sorry.

Elena Gilbert:
We were stupid. Sneaking around, thinking we weren't gonna get caught.

Stefan Salvatore:
I know.

Elena Gilbert:
We did this. Stefan, Jenna's in the hospital and Jeremy could be next. All because, we didn't... we didn't listen to her, because... because we are together. Stefan...

Stefan Salvatore:
I know what you're going to say to me.

Elena Gilbert:
Then let me say it. I've been so selfish because I've love you so much and I know how much you love me... but it's over. Stefan, it has to be.

Stefan Salvatore:
Elena...

Elena Gilbert:
No stefan. It has to be. [She gives him a kiss before walking away]

[last lines]

Damon Salvatore:
Elena.

[Elena stops from opening the door]

Damon Salvatore:
I'm the one who helped Katherine on. I wasn't thinking, I didn't think!

Elena Gilbert:
It doesn't matter. Damon... she won. Katherine won.

[She opens the front door and walks out]

Damon Salvatore:
I just have to say it once. You just need to here it. I love you, Elena. And it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you... I don't deserve you, but my brother does.

Damon Salvatore:
[about Taylor and Caroline helping Taylor] Yeah, I don't understand that. Guy's a tool.

Damon Salvatore:
Oh, teens today and their underage drinking. Tragic.

Stefan Salvatore:
This has Katherine written all over it.

Damon Salvatore:
Katherine's in the tomb. Trust me. I'm the one that shut her in.

Stefan Salvatore:
Did you?

Damon Salvatore:
Did I what Stefan?

Stefan Salvatore:
Well I know the hold that Katherine has on you.

Damon Salvatore:
She's in the tomb. Period. End of story. But she did say some thing to me, right before I shut her in. I thought she was lying.

Stefan Salvatore:
What did she say?

Damon Salvatore:
Elena's in danger.

Stefan Salvatore:
What? And you didn't think to ask her to elaborate?

Damon Salvatore:
But everything she says is a lie. How am I supposed to know she start spouting out the truth?

Stefan Salvatore:
Call me with whatever you find.

Jeremy Gilbert:
No No, I'm coming with you.

Stefan Salvatore:
No Jeremy. You're not.

Jeremy Gilbert:
I'm not just gonna sit here while she's hurt or worse. What if she's...

Stefan Salvatore:
She's not. You two go back to your house incase and I'll call you the minute I find her.

Jeremy Gilbert:
Well, you can't do this alone.

Damon Salvatore:
[Walks through the door] He's not. Let's go.

Stefan Salvatore:
You coming with me?

Damon Salvatore:
It's Elena.

Damon Salvatore:
Alaric sure likes his weapons. What the hell is that?

Stefan Salvatore:
Oh, it's a vervain bomber grenade launcher or something like that.

Damon Salvatore:
Weird.

Stefan Salvatore:
Thankyou. For helping me.

Damon Salvatore:
Can we not do the whole roadtrip bonding thing? The cliche of it all makes me itch.

Stefan Salvatore:
Thankyou. For helping me.

Damon Salvatore:
Can we not do the whole roadtrip bonding thing? The cliche of it all makes me itch.

Stefan Salvatore:
Aww, come on Damon. We both know you being in this car has absolutely nothing to do with me being in this car anyway.

Damon Salvatore:
The elephant in the room lets out a mightily roar.

Elena Gilbert:
Tell me more.

Trevor:
Captivity's made her pushy eh? What do you want to know doppelicous?

Bonnie Bennett:
It's hard you know, my Grams is gone and my dad he doesn't want to know what I am. He hasn't since my mom left. I'm all alone in this.

Jeremy Gilbert:
That's how I feel a lot of the time. Alone.

Damon Salvatore:
[Takes from behind the his seat of the car a blood bag and starts to drink it] If you want some, just ask.

Stefan Salvatore:
I want some.

Damon Salvatore:
Aww, that's so sweet. Want to be all big and strong, save your girl. Well, don't worry, I've got your back, you'll be fine.

Stefan Salvatore:
I'm not joking. I've been drinking a little everyday and slowly increasing my intake and building up my strength. [Damon hands him the blood bag]

Damon Salvatore:
Elena know you're drinking blood?

Stefan Salvatore:
[Hands bag back] I've been drinking hers.

Damon Salvatore:
Hmm... how romantic. [Drinks some blood]

Damon Salvatore:
Since we're roadtrip bonding, remember the days when all you lived for was blood? You were the guy who ripped someone apart just for the fun of it.

Stefan Salvatore:
You mean, when I was more like you?

Damon Salvatore:
Yes Stefan, exactly! Back when you put blood into me so I could be a big, bad vampire. I wonder if Elena would be so quick to open her veins to that guy. Tell me, what happened to that guy 'cause he was a hoot?

Damon Salvatore:
Whoever has Elena is probably who is after Katherine in 1864 and before that.

Stefan Salvatore:
And?

Damon Salvatore:
And it puts them at 500 years old and strong! Are you sure you want to do this?

Stefan Salvatore:
Yes I'm certain I want to do it.

Damon Salvatore:
'Cause if we go into that house, we may not come out.

Stefan Salvatore:
Alright, then I won't come out.

Damon Salvatore:
[Sarcastically] So noble Stefan.

Stefan Salvatore:
Hey.

Damon Salvatore:
What?

Stefan Salvatore:
I'm sorry.

Damon Salvatore:
About what?

Stefan Salvatore:
For the guy who made you turn 145 years ago.

Damon Salvatore:
Enough Stef, it's late. No need to rehatch that.

Stefan Salvatore:
You know, I've never said it out loud. I guess I need to say it and you need to hear it. I'm sorry. What I did was selfish and I want to be alone. I guess I just needed my brother.

Caroline Forbes:
[to Tyler] You know this sounds crazy, but... alcohol helps... or at least it helps me.

Damon Salvatore:
Cute pj's.

Elena Gilbert:
I'm tired Damon.

Damon Salvatore:
Brought you this. [Holds out her necklace]

Elena Gilbert:
I thought that was gone. Thankyou. [about to take necklace but Damon pulls away] Please give it back.

Damon Salvatore:
I just have to say something.

Elena Gilbert:
Why do you have to say it with my necklace?

Damon Salvatore:
Because what I'm about to say is... probably the most selfish thing I've ever said in my life.

Elena Gilbert:
Damon. Don't go there.

Damon Salvatore:
I just have to say it once. You just need to hear it. I love you Elena. And it's because I love you that... I can't be selfish with you. And why you can't know this. I don't deserve you... but my brother does. [Kisses her on her forehead] God, I wish you didn't have to forget this... but you do. [Compells her]

Damon Salvatore:
I just have to say something.

Elena Gilbert:
Why do you have to say it with my necklace?

Damon Salvatore:
Because what I'm about to say is probably the most selfish thing that I've ever said in my life. I just have to say it once. You just need to hear it. I love you, Elena. And it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you, why you can't know this. I don't deserve you, but my brother does. God, I wish that you didn't have to forget this, but you do.

Caroline Forbes:
What are you doing here?

Tyler Lockwood:
I know.

Caroline Forbes:
Breaking and entering the sheriff's house? That move will win you an award.

Tyler Lockwood:
Go ahead, keep dodging. Keep changing the subject. But I know. You're just like me, aren't you? Keep it up, but I'm not buying it. I saw how strong you were with me earlier. I'm not leaving here until you tell me the truth.

Caroline Forbes:
Tyler...

Tyler Lockwood:
You're a werewolf. Say it.

Caroline Forbes:
[giggles] What?

[Tyler suddenly shoves Caroline against a wall]

Tyler Lockwood:
Stop lying!

Caroline Forbes:
I'm not lying!

Tyler Lockwood:
Just say it!

[Tyler restrains Caroline with an arm hold and his eyes turn yellow. Caroline suddenly grabs Tyler by his collar and shoves him back against the wall and her eyes turn black and her fangs procure as she shoves him to the floor as she growls, and then her fangs retract and her eyes return to normal. Tyler backs away panting and in shock]

Caroline Forbes:
[casual tone] I'm not a werewolf, okay? I'm a vampire.

Rebekah:
Where is it? The cure. I know someone has it.

Damon Salvatore:
Yeah, someone. Katherine.

Rebekah:
Katherine? The doppelganger?

Damon Salvatore:
Yeah, sneaky little b*tch must've been spying on us for weeks. She killed Jeremy. Or somebody did. He killed your brother. Let's not with the fake sad face.

Rebekah:
I didn't say I was going to miss him. But I'm not heartless. He was Elena's only family.

Damon Salvatore:
Good. Well, you can send flowers. After you help me find Bonnie.

Rebekah:
We need to find Katherine.

Damon Salvatore:
If there's one thing that's a guarantee in this miserable little world, it's that Katherine Pierce is gone. We need to find Bonnie. Oh, and beware of the immortal Silas. He was asleep in that cave; he's awake now.

Alaric Saltzman:
I am every parent's worst nightmare. I'm the chaperone teacher from hell.

Damon Salvatore:
I love high school parties.

Alaric Saltzman:
Isn't Andie supposed to be coming?

Damon Salvatore:
10:00 broadcast. She'll be here in a little bit. [to Elena] Hello, birthday girl.

Elena Gilbert:
Drink. [takes Damon's glass] Jeremy's smoking again.

Damon Salvatore:
Is his stash any good?

Elena Gilbert:
You're an ass. [to Alaric] Talk to him, please. He looks up to you.

Damon Salvatore:
[to Alaric] You're screwed.

Alaric Saltzman:
Ohhh... Vampire for sure.

Damon Salvatore:
It's Stefan for sure.

Alaric Saltzman:
How do you know?

Damon Salvatore:
It's his signature. There is a reason they called him the ripper. He feeds so hard he blacks out, rips them apart, but then when he's done, he feels remorse. It's the damnedest thing. He puts the bodies back together.

Damon Salvatore:
Andie wants me to pick her up.

Alaric Saltzman:
Your fake, compelled girlfriend wants you to be a chivalrous boyfriend?

Damon Salvatore:
Well, it's a complicated dynamic. Hold the fort down, will you?

Alaric Saltzman:
You mean the fort full of my drunk history students?

Damon Salvatore:
Drink more. It'll feel less weird.

Elena Gilbert:
All summer, every single time I came to you with a lead, you made me feel like an idiot for having hope.

Damon Salvatore:
You were an idiot. We both were.

Elena Gilbert:
Tell me what you know, Damon.

Damon Salvatore:
I know you need to get back to your party, Elena.

Elena Gilbert:
We're supposed to be in this together. Why didn't you tell me you've been tracking Klaus' victims?

Damon Salvatore:
Because they're not Klaus' victims, Elena, they're Stefan's!

Elena Gilbert:
What?

Damon Salvatore:
He's left a trail of body parts up and down on the eastern seaboard.

Elena Gilbert:
No. You're wrong.

Damon Salvatore:
I've seen it happen before. He's flipped the switch, full blown ripper.

Elena Gilbert:
Stop it, Damon.

Damon Salvatore:
No, you stop it, Elena! Stop looking for him. Stop waiting for him to come home. Just stop! Stefan is gone and he's not coming back. Not in your lifetime.

Klaus:
You're back.

Stefan, Salvatore:
Did you doubt me?

Klaus:
Not for a second. I knew you'd pass the test. You still care for your brother, for your old life.

Stefan, Salvatore:
I don't care about anything anymore.

Klaus:
You put on a good show, Stefan. I almost believe you. Let's hope, for your brother's sake, he does. You never stop caring about family, do you? But every time you feed, the blood makes it easier to let go.

Damon Salvatore:
You want a love that consumes you. You want passion and adventure, and even a little danger... I want you to get everything you're looking for.

Elena Gilbert:
That's what love should be. You should love the person that makes you glad to be alive.

Rebekah:
[in tears, about Klaus] He's gone, Elijah. There was nothing I could do to stop it.

Elijah:
[shaken] Tyler Lockwood is dead, but the rest survived. You said that Niklaus turned their bloodline. [referring to Caroline, Damon, and Stefan]

Rebekah:
I thought he did.

Elijah:
It wasn't me. It wasn't Kol.

Rebekah:
It wasn't me, Elijah. It was Niklaus! I'm sure of it.

Elijah:
[deeply perplexed] Then how are they still alive?

Elena Gilbert:
Jeremy locked himself in the bathroom again. Does he think we don't know what he's doing in there?

Jenna Sommers:
He's 14. They don't think.

Jeremy Gilbert:
[over the phone] I took her to the hospital. When you find your sister unconscious, you call 911.

Damon Salvatore:
Not when you have a parade of vampires at your disposal.

Stefan Salvatore:
Every remaining Original is gonna want Elena dead to stop Alaric. She's a sitting duck in there.

Jeremy Gilbert:
Well, Meredith wants to keep her here for observation.

Damon Salvatore:
Jeremy, get Elena home. We're on our way.

Elena Gilbert:
[waking up] Where is everyone?

Matt Donovan:
Tyler and Caroline got a call from their moms. What were you dreaming about?

Elena Gilbert:
Sophomore year.

Matt Donovan:
Seems like forever ago.

Elijah:
All we need is to take that stake away from him. Once it's been disarmed, the weapon's in my possession, my family will scatter to the ends of the Earth and Alaric will follow us.

Stefan Salvatore:
And you'll just run?

Elijah:
We've done it before. Klaus and Rebekah spent the better part of a thousand years evading my father. What's another half century while Elena is able to live out the rest of her natural life?

Elena Gilbert:
[about Klaus] We've finally stopped him, Elijah. After everything that he's done to us, I can't just let you bring him back.

Elijah:
I give you my word, Elena. I will not revive Klaus within yours nor even within your children's lifetimes. Perhaps that will finally teach him some manners.

Matt Donovan:
Why should she trust you? All you've done is screw her over.

Elijah:
And for that, I am deeply ashamed. But know this, she could have been dead the instant I walked through that door tonight, so Elena, I leave it to you to make the decision whether to trust me or not.

Damon Salvatore:
I'm lost. I have a secret, a big one. But I've never said it out loud. What's the point? It's not gonna change anything. It's not gonna make me good, make me adopt a puppy. I can't be what other people want me to be. What she wants me to be. This is who I am. You are my existential crisis. Do I kill you or do I not kill you? But I have to Jessica, because I'm not human. And I miss it. I miss it more than anything in the world. That is my secret. But there is only so much hurt a man can take.

Damon Salvatore:
It came to me in a dream. I was naked. You would have loved it.

Damon Salvatore:
You know you were dreaming about me. Explains the drool.

Damon Salvatore:
It came to me in a dream. I was naked, you'd have loved it.

Damon Salvatore:
I'm shocked! Stefan's not a virgin?

Elena Gilbert:
Where were you in the 1920's? Paving the way for women's liberation?

Damon Salvatore:
I was around. Chicago's a big city. Stefan was a cocky ripper douche. But i could avoid him and still indulge in a few Daisy Buchanan's of my own.

Elena Gilbert:
Ugh. Where are you going?

Damon Salvatore:
His old stomping ground.

Elena Gilbert:
I'm coming with you!

Damon Salvatore:
No. You stay here and whip an actual plan. I'll come back when I find him.

Stefan Salvatore:
Such trouble to trust him up in your Red Room of Pain.

Elena Gilbert:
Are you sure that you're okay with this?

Bonnie Bennett:
If I could spell you out of wanting blood, I would, but I can't, so better you learn this now than at freshman orientation.

Elena Gilbert:
Something tells me that college isn't in my future anymore.

Damon Salvatore:
Oh, stop with the pity party. If I can go to college, you can go to college.

Bonnie Bennett:
You went to college?

Damon Salvatore:
Sure. Plenty of times. I always had a thing for sorority girls.

Bonnie Bennett:
You're disgusting.

Damon Salvatore:
[whispers] I know.

Elena Gilbert:
You've been dodging my calls.

Damon Salvatore:
Busy day. Dead fake girlfriend and all.

Elena Gilbert:
Yes, I worry about you, why do you even have to hear me say it?

Damon Salvatore:
Because when I drag my brother from the edge and deliver him back to you I want you to remember the things you felt while he was gone. Good night Elena.

Matt Donovan:
Uh, hey, April. We don't open til eleven.

April Young:
Uh, sorry. I wasn't, like, trying to scare you or stalk you or whatever. I just... um, I came to ask if you've seen Rebekah.

Matt Donovan:
Why would I have seen Rebekah?

April Young:
Oh, I just assumed. I mean, aren't... aren't you guys kind of like a thing?

Matt Donovan:
[laughs] Rebekah and I are not a thing.

April Young:
Well, I, I, I mean I'm worried about her. She said she'd help me find stuff out about the fire that killed my dad and then she just disappeared.

[Connor walks out holding a knife on Jeremy]

Connor Jordan:
Trust me. That's the least of your problems.

Damon Salvatore:
You need to listen to me and prepare for what I'm about to say. Bonnie had to die. Klaus using Alaric's body was a total surprise. She wasn't prepared for that. And he wasn't going to stop and we weren't going to be able to stop him until he knew she was dead. He had to believe it. She cast a spell, Bonnie's okay.

Elena Gilbert:
Let's get one thing straight Damon. Bonnie will not die for me, I will not let that happen.

Damon Salvatore:
We need to kill Klaus, Elena. Real Klaus. Who will probably come pay you a visit soon, now that he knows that Bonnie's dead. She's the only one who can do it.

Damon Salvatore:
Let me be clear about something. If it comes down to you and the witch again, I will gladly let Bonnie die. I will always choose you.

Damon Salvatore:
I can't lose you.

Elijah:
She'll never forgive you. And 'never' for a vampire... It's a very long time.

Dr. Jo Laughlin:
Why don't you just compel me out of the way? Look don't you think it's about time we level with each other?

Alaric Saltzman:
[deadpan] Okay, how's this: my best friend, he just came from the dead but now i have to save him from a vampire hunter before he's driven across an anti-magic border and killed... again. So here's some friendly advice: it's probably a good idea to stay as far away from me as possible.

Caroline Forbes:
So am I your last stop on the Stefan Salvatore apology tour?

Elena Gilbert:
I want my memories back.

Alaric Saltzman:
[to Damon, about Elena] She loved you too much and it was killing her.

Alaric Saltzman:
Damon is going to kill me.

Elena Gilbert:
You're un-killable.

Alaric Saltzman:
Don't mean he won't try.

Damon Salvatore:
[to Elena, through the door] You have no idea how long I wanted to hear you breathe.

Damon Salvatore:
[to Stefan] Well you didn't think I was gone 'gone', I promised you an eternity of misery.

Stefan Salvatore:
[about Damon] Look. He's been trapped over there alone for months. He just wants to see you.

Elena Gilbert:
Look. I get how I'm supposed to feel, but I know how I actually feel and I'm happy now. What if I look at him and my old feelings break through the compulsion.

Stefan Salvatore:
Well, they won't, but even if they did, is that such a bad thing?

Stefan Salvatore:
I keep trying to start over but I can't get anywhere.

Damon Salvatore:
My best friend compelled my beautiful and lovely girlfriend to forget that she ever loved me.

Stefan Salvatore:
We need to keep Klaus separate and occupied. Caroline?

Caroline Forbes:
Why do I always have to be Klaus bait?

Damon Salvatore:
Because he's obsessed with you.

Damon Salvatore:
No last minute attacks of pity for any of them.

Elena Gilbert:
Don't worry about me. Not after what happened to Bonnie's mom.

Damon Salvatore:
Barbie?

Caroline Forbes:
Oh, I'm ready. Anything that will free Tyler from his sire bond to Klaus.

Damon Salvatore:
Lost boy?

Matt Donovan:
Do I have a choice?

Damon Salvatore:
Good point.

Alaric Saltzman:
[Damon is hiding his stake in the firewood] I mean, did you learn nothing from the moonstone in the soap dish?

Damon Salvatore:
Why? Where'd you put yours?

Damon Salvatore:
[to Stefan] Great gal, she's got spunk. You, on the other hand, look pooped.

Vicki Donovan:
I know you.

Damon Salvatore:
Well, that's unfortunate.

Elena Gilbert:
Stefan never mentioned he had a brother.

Damon Salvatore:
Well, Stefan isn't one to brag.

Damon Salvatore:
Have you been eating bunnies?

Elena Gilbert:
This is your living room?

Damon Salvatore:
Living room, parlour... Sotheby's auction.

Stefan Salvatore:
How long was Elena here?

Damon Salvatore:
Were you worried, Stefan? Afraid we might be doomed to repeat the past? Isn't that why you play your little game "I'm a high school human"?

Bonnie Bennett:
I was talking to Gram, and she said that the comet is a sign of impending doom. The last time it pasted over Mystic Falls there was lots of death, so much blood and carnage it created a bed of paranormal activity.

Caroline Forbes:
Yeah, then you poured Grams another shot and she told you about the aliens.

Jeremy Gilbert:
[Aunt Jenna throws an apple at the back of Jeremy's head] Ow! Why, why did you do that?

Jenna Sommers:
Listen up! Quit ditching class or you're grounded, no discussion.

Jeremy Gilbert:
Parental authority, I like it. Sleep tight.

Elena Gilbert:
It's Ok Stefan, I get it. You have no idea how much i get it. Complicated brother? Check. Complicated ex? Check. Too complicated to even contemplate dating? Check. We met and we talked and it was epic, but then the sun came up and reality set in.

Elena Gilbert:
Timing is wrong anyway.

Bonnie Bennett:
When is it ever right?

Elena Gilbert:
I'm not ready, Bonnie.

Bonnie Bennett:
Who is?

Elena Gilbert:
At least I put myself out there.

Bonnie Bennett:
Is that what your calling it?

Elena Gilbert:
What do you mean?

Bonnie Bennett:
All I'm hearing is reasons why you can't.

Elena Gilbert:
[Walking past Jeremy's room] Jere?

Jenna Sommers:
Nope, it's me, the hypocrite patrol.

Elena Gilbert:
What are you doing?

Jenna Sommers:
I've become my worst nightmare, the authority figure, who has to violate a 15 year old's privacy.

[She finds Jeremy's pipe]

Jenna Sommers:
Jackpot!

Damon Salvatore:
It's good to be home. I think I might stay awhile. This town could use a bit of a wake up call, don't you think?

Stefan Salvatore:
What are you up to, Damon?

Damon Salvatore:
That's for me to know and for you to dot dot dot.

Damon Salvatore:
You have two choices. You can feed, and make her forget, or you can let her run screaming vampire through the town square.

Stefan Salvatore:
That's what this is about? You wanna expose me?

Damon Salvatore:
No! I want you to remember who you are!

Stefan Salvatore:
Why? So what, so I'll feed, so I'll kill, so I'll remember what it's like to be brothers again? You know what, let her go. Let her tell everyone that vampires have returned to Mystic Falls, let them chain me up and drive a stake through my heart, 'cause then at least I'll be free of you.

Vicki Donovan:
I don't want anyone to find out about us.

Jeremy Gilbert:
Well, you gotta get over that.

Vicki Donovan:
Tyler's finally starting to show some interest.

Jeremy Gilbert:
You gotta get over that too! I mean, do you see Mr. Concern?

[pretends to look under bed]

Jeremy Gilbert:
Hello? Tyler, you under there? No.

Vicki Donovan:
It's not cool for people to know. I'm older than you. Matt and Elena would freak.

Jeremy Gilbert:
Why wouldn't I be concerned about you? I was the one who found you.

Vicki Donovan:
You were?

Jeremy Gilbert:
Yeah, I carried you out of the woods.

Vicki Donovan:
Thank you.

Elena Gilbert:
I went home tonight planning to write in my diary, which I've done every day since my mother gave me one when I was 10. It's where I get everything out and it all goes in this one little book, which I keep on the 2nd shelf behind this really hideous ceramic mermaid. Then I realized I would only be writing things I should probably be telling you.

Stefan Salvatore:
What would you write?

Elena Gilbert:
I would write, Dear Diary, Today I convinced myself it's ok to give up. Stick with the status quo, now just isn't the time. But my reasons aren't reasons, they're excuses and the truth is, I'm scared Stefan. I'm scared that if I let myself be happy for one minute, that the my world's going to come crashing down and I don't know if I'll be able to survive that.

Stefan Salvatore:
Do you want to know what I would write? I met a girl, we talked and it was epic. Then the sun came up and reality set in. Well, this is reality, right here.

[Stefan kisses Elena]

Damon Salvatore:
That's for me to know and you to dot, dot, dot.

Klaus:
[lamented] For a thousand years, I lived in fear. Any time I settled anywhere, our father would hunt me down and... chase me off. He made me feel powerless and I hated it. This town was my home once. And in my absence, Marcel has got everything that I ever wanted. Power, loyalty, family. I made him in my image and he has bettered me. I want what he has. I want to be king.

Elijah:
And what of Hayley and the baby?

Klaus:
Every king needs an heir.

Elijah:
[reasoning to his brother] Family is power, Niklaus. Love, loyalty, that's power. This is what we swore to one another 1,000 years ago before life tore away what little humanity you had left. Before ego, before anger, before paranoia created in this person before me someone I can barely even recognize as my own brother. This is us, the Original family. And we remain together, always and forever.

Marcel Gerard:
How's the family?

Klaus:
Those who live hate me more than ever.

Marcel Gerard:
Forget 'em. If your blood relations let you down, you make your own, huh? You taught me that.

Elena Gilbert:
[about Rebekah] I hate her. I didn't think I was capable of hate, but I hate her and I hate that I hate her.

Rebekah:
I'm surprised you came to my party.

Matt Donovan:
Well, I thought about it. You explained why you ran me off the bridge, so the least I could do is explain how I feel. The truth is, Rebekah, I think you're amazing. You've had a thousand years to learn, to grow, and to start fresh. And somehow you've managed to throw it all away. Now you're alone. You're compelling your friends. Your brother hates you. You whine about not finding love. The reason you don't find love is because you don't deserve it.

Damon Salvatore:
I'm going back.

Katherine Pierce:
You're gonna get yourself killed! The Damon I remember wouldn't have been that stupid.

Damon Salvatore:
I wouldn't have done it for you.

Elena Gilbert:
Where were you, Damon?

Damon Salvatore:
I shouldn't have left. I promise you, I will never leave you again.

Klaus:
The only thing stronger than your craving for blood is your love for this one girl.

Klaus:
There's my girl.

Elena Gilbert:
Klaus.

Klaus:
You are supposed to be dead. What are we gonna do about that?

Rebekah:
You two are adorable.

Caroline Forbes:
Uh, do we know you?

Rebekah:
You're Caroline, Elena's friend, which makes you Tyler, the werewolf.

Caroline Forbes:
And who are you?

Rebekah:
I'm the new girl.

Klaus:
I'd like you all to meet my sister, Rebekah. A word of warning, she can be quite mean.

Rebekah:
Don't be an ass.

Damon Salvatore:
If I do this, you and me, call it a truce?

Bonnie Bennett:
No. But you'll do it anyway. [Smiles] For Elena.

Damon Salvatore:
[about his kiss with Katherine, thinking she was Elena] Hey, if you wanna forget it happened, fine... but I can't!

Damon Salvatore:
[His realisation that Katherine's back] Oh! You've gotta be kidding me!

Elena Gilbert:
[Seeing Stefan hurt on the floor because of Katherine] Stefan. W-What happened?

Damon Salvatore:
Katherine happened.

Damon Salvatore:
[about Katherine] Well she certainly knows how to make an entrance.

Stefan Salvatore:
She-She fooled one of us. What does that mean?

Damon Salvatore:
She pretended to be Elena too when I showed up earlier tonight.

Elena Gilbert:
[Walks in] I told Jeremy. I can't lie to him anymore.

Stefan Salvatore:
[Walks over to Elena] You alright?

Elena Gilbert:
No, I'm not alright. I thought with all the tomb vampires gone, thinks would get better.

Stefan Salvatore:
I know. We all did.

Elena Gilbert:
Katherine was in this house so she was invited in. What are we gonna do?

Damon Salvatore:
Move.

Stefan Salvatore:
What happened tonight when you thought she was Elena?

Damon Salvatore:
It's risking another frown line encroaching on a very crowded forehead. We... kissed.

Elena Gilbert:
And you thought it was me?

Stefan Salvatore:
What do you mean you kissed?

Damon Salvatore:
Well... you know, when two lips pucker and they go [makes kissing noises] .

Damon Salvatore:
I've got a better idea.

Elena Gilbert:
What's that?

Damon Salvatore:
[about Katherine] I'm just gonna ignore the b*tch.

Stefan Salvatore:
Yeah... then what?

Damon Salvatore:
Stake her, rip her head off... something poetic.

Tyler Lockwood:
[Seeing his uncle for the first time in years] So the black sheep returns.

Mason Lockwood:
Tyler?

Tyler Lockwood:
Yeah.

Mason Lockwood:
What happened to you? In my mind you're twelve years old.

Tyler Lockwood:
Well that's two years older than the last time you saw me Uncle Mason.

Stefan Salvatore:
[Elena leaves John and Stefan alone in John's hospital room] You may be ok with dying but I have a better plan for you. [Bites his wrist and places it on John's mouth] You now have my blood in your system, all I have to do is kill you. Now take my advice, leave town, Elena doesn't want you here. It's about twenty four hours before the blood leaves your system, that's enough time to disappear or so help me God, I will turn you into a vampire and I will watch you hate yourself more than you already do. [Lets go of John and walks to the door] The clock starts now.

Elena Gilbert:
How did you leave it in there with John?

Stefan Salvatore:
I... er... asked him to leave town.

Elena Gilbert:
Asked? You threatened him?

Stefan Salvatore:
Yes. I threatened him.

Bonnie Bennett:
[Asking about the Mayor being effected by the device] Do you want to know why?

Damon Salvatore:
Yes Bonnie, I would love to know why a non-vampire was tortured by the vampire torture device that you let John Gilbert use against us.

Damon Salvatore:
Speaking of your guilt, how's Caroline?

Bonnie Bennett:
She's much better.

Damon Salvatore:
You're welcome.

Bonnie Bennett:
No, you're welcome.

Damon Salvatore:
Why am I welcome?

Bonnie Bennett:
You live to see another day.

Damon Salvatore:
No good deed goes unpunished with you does it?

Katherine Pierce:
[Speaking to Bonnie after Bonnie sees who she really is] We haven't officially met. I'm Katherine.

Stefan Salvatore:
What game are you playing?

Katherine Pierce:
Why, you want to play with me?

Stefan Salvatore:
I don't know. How can I play if I don't know the rules?

Katherine Pierce:
No rules Stefan. Don't you remember? No rules. [Walks away]

Elena Gilbert:
Hey. How you doing?

Damon Salvatore:
[Sarcastically] Great Elena. Walking on sunshine, thanks for asking.

Elena Gilbert:
Damon.

Damon Salvatore:
Elena.

Elena Gilbert:
We should be able to talk about this. Damon, we're close enough now. I really want to know how you are doing.

Damon Salvatore:
I kissed you.Though you kissed me back. Doppelganger high jinx ensued. How do you think I'm doing?

Damon Salvatore:
You think Katherine's gonna send me off the deep end don't ya? I don't need her for that.

Damon Salvatore:
I kissed you.Though you kissed me back. Doppelganger high jinx ensued. How do you think I'm doing?

Elena Gilbert:
I think that you're hurt.

Damon Salvatore:
Mmm... no I don't get hurt Elena.

Elena Gilbert:
No, you don't admit that you get hurt. You get angry, cover it up, then you do something stupid.

Damon Salvatore:
You're scared. You think Katherine's gonna send me off the deep end don't ya? I don't need her for that. You know what? Why is it such a surprise that I would kiss you?

Elena Gilbert:
That's not a surprise. I'm surprised that you thought I would kiss you back.

Damon Salvatore:
Now I'm hurt.

Jeremy Gilbert:
Look, I'm sorry about your dad.

Tyler Lockwood:
Today's been a big day of sorry's from people who really don't give a crap.

Jeremy Gilbert:
I remember when my dad died, I had a houseful of strangers telling me what a great guy he was. Anyway I know how hard all this is.

Tyler Lockwood:
Difference is in your case it was true. My dad was a dick.

Stefan Salvatore:
Don't flirt with me Katherine. I'm not Damon. I haven't spent a hundred and forty five years obsessed with you.

Katherine Pierce:
Yeah... based on your choice in women, I'd say otherwise.

Stefan Salvatore:
I'm not gonna fight you.

Damon Salvatore:
Why? I'd fight me.

Damon Salvatore:
[after kissing Katherine] Wait... brief pause. I have a question answer it and it's back to fireworks and rockets and back to the glare, answer it right, I'll forget the last one hundred and forty five years I've spent missing you. I'll forget how much I loved you, I'll forget everything and we can start over. This can be our defining moment, see we have the time, it's the beauty of eternity. I just need the truth, just once...

Katherine Pierce:
Stop. I already know the question and it's answer...

Elena Gilbert:
[Walks from the bathroom and sees Damon sitting on her bed] Oh God! You scared me.

Damon Salvatore:
Just doing my part in neighbourhood watch.

Elena Gilbert:
Thanks... for... uh... looking out for us. For me.

Damon Salvatore:
That's me. Your trusty bodyguard, calm in a crisis.

Damon Salvatore:
Upset is an emotion specific for those who care.

[last lines]

Caroline Forbes:
Elena?

Katherine Pierce:
[Pretending to be Elena] Hi Caroline.

Caroline Forbes:
What are you doing here?

Katherine Pierce:
My name is Katherine. I was hoping you could give the Salvatore brothers a message for me.

Caroline Forbes:
What are you talking about? What message?

Katherine Pierce:
Game on.

[Katherine places a pillow over Caroline's face until she stops moving]

Elena Gilbert:
[about Jeremy after taking the pills and drinking Anna's blood]... he looks fine, but then again, so do you...

Damon Salvatore:
Come on, we're leaving.

Elena Gilbert:
No.

Damon Salvatore:
I said we're leaving.

Elena Gilbert:
I'm not going with you.

Damon Salvatore:
You do not get to make decisions anymore.

Elena Gilbert:
When have I ever made a decision? You and Stefan do that for me now. This-this is my decision now.

Damon Salvatore:
Who's going to save your life while you're out making "decisions"?

Elena Gilbert:
Damon, you're not listening to me. I don't want to be saved. Not if it means that Klaus is going to kill every single person that I love.

Damon Salvatore:
Get your ass out the door before I throw you over my shoulder and carry you out myself. [pauses then grabs her arm]

Elena Gilbert:
[Struggles] No. [Raises fist in attempt to fight him]

Damon Salvatore:
[Stops punch mid-swing. Leans in as if to kiss her, but instead whispers... ] Don't ever do that again.

Alaric Saltzman:
Well... I'm naked. So I'm gonna go.

Klaus:
It's time.

Elena Gilbert:
Go to Hell.

Caroline Forbes:
You shouldn't leave again.

Tyler Lockwood:
You're kidding, right? This is the second time I've tried to kill you.

Caroline Forbes:
Well, no friendship is perfect.

Matt Donovan:
[to Caroline] I get it, this is your life now. But you know what my life is, Car? My life is an absentee mom, and a bunch of bills to pay, and school, and a job, and it sucks sometimes, but it's my life and I think that I just want to live it without all this.

Katherine Pierce:
One hundred and forty-five years and no last goodbye?

Damon Salvatore:
You don't get a goodbye.

Katherine Pierce:
Don't-don't leave mad.

Damon Salvatore:
Us ending up on good terms is not exactly on my bucket list, Katherine.

Katherine Pierce:
Klaus made me call Jenna to lure her out, there was nothing I could do, I didn't have a choice.

Damon Salvatore:
That's why I gave you the vervain, so you *had* a choice.

Katherine Pierce:
It was her or me, I chose her.

Damon Salvatore:
I helped you, you owed me. Now when Klaus dies, you're going to walk out of here without a scratch, and Elena's aunt dies. Sometimes you're the only one that wins, how'd that happen?

Katherine Pierce:
I didn't let love get in the way.

Damon Salvatore:
Enjoy eternity alone, Katherine.

Elijah:
You're very honorable.

Stefan Salvatore:
Are you? Because this plan is contingent on your honor, Elijah.

Damon Salvatore:
Her soul? Really? You're going to put some faith in some act of God mumbo jumbo?

John Gilbert:
I refuse to let Elena become the thing I spent my life protecting her against, and you can call that God, or mystical energy, or whatever you want, but yes, I'm putting my faith in it.

John Gilbert:
You ruined her life. You know that, right?

Damon Salvatore:
I know that, John. I took her choices, destroyed her future, I get that.

John Gilbert:
[John's final letter to Elena] Elena, it's no easy task being an ordinary parent to an extraordinary child. I've failed in that task, and because of my prejudices, I've failed you. I'm haunted by how things might've played out differently if I'd been more willing to hear your side of things. For me, it's the end. For you, a chance to grow old and someday do better with your own child than I did with mine. It's for that child that I give you my ring. I don't ask for your forgiveness, or for you to forget. I ask only that you believe this; whether you are now reading this as a vampire or as a human, I love you all the same as I've always loved you, and always will.

Damon Salvatore:
You have to be invited in.

Logan Fell:
I live alone.

Damon Salvatore:
That sucks.

Logan Fell:
Why am I so overly emotional? All I can think of is my ex-girlfriend. I want to be with her and bite her, and stuff.

Elena Gilbert:
I don't wanna talk about my future, Stefan. Because everything you're saying makes it perfectly clear you aren't gonna be in it.

Elena Gilbert:
I know you say you don't want to be in my life because you bring all the bad stuff... But I already had the bad stuff. I was buried in it.

Elena Gilbert:
If you walk away, it's for you. Because I know what I want. Stefan, I love you.

[Stefan steps up and kisses her]

Damon Salvatore:
I don't side with anyone. You piss me off. I want you dead.

Damon Salvatore:
I was ambushed. I was shot. Now, I'm vengeful.

Bonnie Bennett:
She needs someone nice like him, as opposed to a homicidal vampire like Damon.

Damon Salvatore:
We're a team. We could travel the world together. We could try out for The Amazing Race!

Stefan Salvatore:
You don't have any friends, Damon.

Damon Salvatore:
You're right, Stefan. I only have you.

Alaric Saltzman:
You look like a full-grown, alpha male douchebag.

Jeremy Gilbert:
I actually have to write another paper. I was thinking about squeezing in one more out on the vampires of Mystic Falls.

Anna:
Really? Haven't you exhausted the subject?

Jeremy Gilbert:
No. No, I wanna go deeper, you know? I wanna understand why people were labeled as vampires back in the day. I mean, maybe there is such a thing as vampires. They're just different from the way we always thought they were.

Anna:
What do you mean?

Jeremy Gilbert:
Well, uh, maybe they're normal... and good. Just outsiders, you know? Um, misunderstood.

Jeremy Gilbert:
Why didn't you... kill me?

Anna:
I don't know. Maybe I'm a sucker for guys like you.

Jeremy Gilbert:
Like what?

Anna:
Lost. But why would you confront me about it? Why would you risk it?

Jeremy Gilbert:
Because if it was true, maybe... I don't know. Maybe it's true about Vicki. And also because... I want you to turn me.

Stefan Salvatore:
Damon hasn't said a word to me. Every time I try to talk to him he shuts me down.

Elena Gilbert:
Do you think he's still trying to find Katherine?

Stefan Salvatore:
I don't know. He waited a hundred and forty-five years, only to find out that Katherine could not care less. I mean, it's gotta hurt, right?

Elena Gilbert:
And it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

Stefan Salvatore:
This is all kind of new to me. I usually keep to myself, I don't always fit in.

Matt Donovan:
That's because you're that guy.

Stefan Salvatore:
What guy?

Matt Donovan:
The guy who seems like he has everything so the people who don't kind of run the other way.

Stefan Salvatore:
Is that what I seem like?

Matt Donovan:
Pretty much.

Stefan Salvatore:
Hmm. What a dick.

Stefan Salvatore:
Have you thought any more about what you're gonna do?

Elena Gilbert:
About what? Isobel, my vampire birth mother, who's related to my vampire ancestor, Katherine, who screwed over your vampire brother? Nah. Haven't thought about it at all.

Elena Gilbert:
Have you ever even been on a double date before?

Stefan Salvatore:
Oh, absolutely. Uh, '72. Hef and the twins.

Elena Gilbert:
What?

Stefan Salvatore:
Yeah. Playmates. I got Miss June.

Stefan Salvatore:
You know, I liked you better when you hated everybody.

Damon Salvatore:
Oh I still do, I just love that they love me.

Damon Salvatore:
You wanna hear the bad news, or the really bad news?

Stefan Salvatore:
Actually, I don't want any news Damon.

Damon Salvatore:
Okay, let me rephrase. Do you want to hear how the council is back in vampire mode, or how I just killed Uncle John Gilbert?

Stefan Salvatore:
What?

Damon Salvatore:
Great party by the way, huh?

Damon Salvatore:
Have I entered an alternate universe where Stefan is fun?

Jeremy Gilbert:
Why does she hate you?

John Gilbert:
We used to slept together.

Jenna Sommers:
I'm standing right here!

Elena Gilbert:
Oh, good. You're here.

Damon Salvatore:
You ask, I come. I'm easy like that.

Damon Salvatore:
No, Elena, I will not go to your bedroom with you. [Jeremy rolls his eyes]

Damon Salvatore:
[Entering Elena's bedroom] Ah. Just like I remembered.

Elena Gilbert:
Stop messing around.

Damon Salvatore:
[Flops down on Elena's bed and begins playing with her teddy bear] You know, did you know that your uncle's been kicking it with the founder's council?

Elena Gilbert:
What?

Damon Salvatore:
Yep.

Elena Gilbert:
Perfect. We'll just add it to the growing list of how everything's falling apart.

Damon Salvatore:
[Pointing with teddy bear's arm] What happened right there?

Elena Gilbert:
Uh, nothing. [Damon give suspicious look] Look, Damon, I'm worried about Stefan. He says that everything's ok, but he's clearly struggling. How long is it going to take before he's back to normal?

Damon Salvatore:
[Still playing with teddy and lounging on Elena's bed] A few days, give or take.

Elena Gilbert:
It's been a few days.

Damon Salvatore:
Give, then. I don't know. What's the big deal? [Gets up and hands teddy to Elena]

Elena Gilbert:
He's not himself, Damon.

Damon Salvatore:
[Digging through Elena's drawers] Well, maybe his problem is he's spent too long not being himself. [Pulls a bra from Elena's dresser and examines it]

Elena Gilbert:
[Taking bra away from Damon and returning it, closing drawer] Please don't make me sorry for asking you.

Damon Salvatore:
[Snatches photo from Elena's mirror] It is what it is, Elena. The Stefan you know is "Good-behavior Stefan." "Rein-it-in Stefan." "Fight-against-his-nature-to-an-annoyingly-obsessive-level Stefan." But if you think there's not another part to this, then you have not been paying attention.

Elena Gilbert:
[Taking back picture] He's not you. Not even close.

Damon Salvatore:
Well, he doesn't want to be me, but that doesn't mean, deep down, that he's not. [Approaches Elena and smirks] Mm-hm. [Walks away]

Stefan Salvatore:
I'm gonna go find Elena.

Damon Salvatore:
Don't embarrass me, young man.

Stefan Salvatore:
I'm really sorry that it won't be of any help with your diabolical plan: the sequel.

Anna:
Hey, um... do, do you wanna do something later, maybe?

Jeremy Gilbert:
Oh, sorry, I'm stuck on punch duty at the school dance.

Anna:
Oh. How'd you get stuck with that?

Jeremy Gilbert:
Well, I'm failing English, so I copped a plea.

Bonnie Bennett:
You just found out your boyfriend is a... vampire, so unless your birth parents are aliens, how bad could it be?

Stefan Salvatore:
He posed as a pizza delivery boy last night.

Damon Salvatore:
Well, he gets points for that.

Damon Salvatore:
I think we need a fresh start.

Bonnie Bennett:
You tried to kill me.

Damon Salvatore:
But I didn't. And if I wanted to I would have. Does that not count for anything?

Bonnie Bennett:
You know I can start fires with my mind. Fires kill vampires, right? Just stay the hell away from me!

Stefan Salvatore:
I'm talking about Atlanta.

Damon Salvatore:
Oh yeah. Elena and I had a blast!

Stefan Salvatore:
I get it, you're just bitter because one of us gets to be with the person we love and poor Katherine is just out of reach. Unless there's another way to get to the tomb. Is that what Bree said?

Damon Salvatore:
You're pathetic when your fishing.

Stefan Salvatore:
And you're transparent when you're deflecting.

Bonnie Bennett:
What's Damon doing here?

Elena Gilbert:
He wanted to come. I promise, he'll behave.

Caroline Forbes:
So what, is this like a threesome now? You and the Salvatore brothers?

Elena Gilbert:
No, but if I'm gonna be with Stefan, then I have to learn to tolerate Damon. It's not like I can kill him.

Bonnie Bennett:
There's a thought.

Caroline Forbes:
Mmm. I'll help.

Damon Salvatore:
I'm not some drunk sorority chick. You can't rufie me.

Elena Gilbert:
Dear Diary, I'm not a believer. People are born, they grow old and then they die. That's the world we live in. There's no magic, no mysticism, no immortality. There is nothing that defies rational thought. People are supposed to be who they say they are and not lie or hide their true selves. It's not possible. I'm not believer. I can't be. But how can I deny what's right in front of me? Someone who never grows old. Never gets hurt. Someone who changes in ways that can't be explained. Girls bitten. Bodies drained of blood.

Elena Gilbert:
[to Stefan] What are you?

Vicki Donovan:
I think you might be in trouble.

Jeremy Gilbert:
What'd you do?

Vicki Donovan:
Elena saw me.

Jeremy Gilbert:
I'm a drug-using delinquent. A girl in bed doesn't really rank, sorry.

Stefan Salvatore:
During the Dark Ages, when a vampire's actions threatened to expose or bring harm upon the entire race, he would face judgement. They sought to reeducate them rather than to punish them.

Damon Salvatore:
You know what will happen if I don't feed on blood.

Stefan Salvatore:
You'll grow weaker and weaker, and eventually you won't be able to move or speak. In a week, your skin will desiccate, and you'll mummify. A living corpse, unable to hurt anyone... ever.

Damon Salvatore:
So what, you just going to just leave me in the basement... forever?

Stefan Salvatore:
I've injected you with enough vervain to keep you weak. Once your circulation stops, I'll move you to the family crypt, and in a 150 years we can reevaluate.

Damon Salvatore:
[Stefan has locked Damon up] You won. Now nothing can come between you and Elena. Except the truth. The lies catch up to you, the longer you keep lying to yourself about who you are.

Stefan Salvatore:
The beauty of you in there and me out here... is that I can walk away.

Zach Salvatore:
You don't visit, Damon... You appear. Periodically. Reminding me that this isn't my house, that you're only allowing me to live here... allowing me to live.

Damon Salvatore:
Someone had to mow the lawn.

Elena Gilbert:
I think my paranoia has turned into full-blown hallucinations.

Stefan Salvatore:
Part of your charm.

Elena Gilbert:
Dear diary, I'm not a believer. People are born, they grow old and then they die, that's the world we live in. There's no magic, no mysticism, no immortality. There is nothing that defies rational thought. People are supposed to be who they say they are and not lie or hide their true selves. It's not possible. I'm not a believer. I can't be. But how can I deny what's right in front of me? Someone who never grows old. Never gets hurt. Someone who changes in ways that can't be explained. Girls bitten. Bodies drained of blood.

klaus:
In my long life I've met no shortage of people who would presume to speak of good and evil such terms mean nothing people do what is in their best interest regardless of who gets hurt is it evil to take what one wants even if doing so will cause another suffering what some would call evil I would believe to be an appropriate response to a harsh and unfair world.

A chipmunk asked me my name today, I told him it was Joe, that lie will haunt me forever.

I love damon Salvatore

"No elena i wont go to your bedroom with you"

Dear diary , a chipmunk asked me my name today..... I said it was Joe, that lie will haunt me forever....