Wikidude's Quotes Page #245

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Dave:
(to Larry) Now, look, Heidi was Mike's first girlfriend, so stop teasing him.

Mike:
Ha!

Dave:
(to Mike) And for all we know, Heidi could be Larry's last girlfriend, so you lay off.

Larry:
Ha ha! Hey, wait, what?

The War at Home, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Dave:
Just relax, okay, my plan is working.

Vicky:
Oh, you mean the plan you pulled out of your ass?

Dave:
Yeah, that one.

Vicky:
Okay, well, keep pulling. Maybe we can get your head out of there.

The War at Home, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Dave:
It's a fact of life. We all lie. Husbands lie to wives, wives lie to husbands, parents lie to kids and the President lies to everyone. And then, of course, there is the most popular lies: the lies we tell ourselves. (holds up cup that reads "World's Best Dad")

The War at Home, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Larry:
(about Tiffany) You shouldn't judge a book by its cover. You should judge it by its smokin' hot body!

The War at Home, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Dave:
So... Tiffany's, uh, quite the young lady.

Bob:
Oh, please. She's a nightmare. I want to drop her off in a field, then move, then kill myself to make sure she doesn't find me.

The War at Home, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Dave:
You know, that son of yours just cursed at me.

Vicky:
Wow, you actually stopped yelling at Larry long enough for him to swear at you?

Dave:
Hey, you know, when I was a kid, I never would have talked to my father that way. I did it behind his back as a sign of respect.

Vicky:
Well, what did you do to him?

Dave:
What's that supposed to mean?

Vicky:
Well, just that he's a pretty sweet-natured kid. You must have done something to piss him off. Come on, Dave, can't you just try to get along?

Dave:
For your information, Vicky, I was trying. I sat down with him to watch TV, we talked about "The Lord of the Rings" which he loves so much, and then, out of nowhere, he opens his big mouth and curses at me. I mean, what kind of **** is that?

The War at Home, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Dave:
Hey, what's going on? What are you two doing?

Larry:
We're just playing this really cool computer simulation game, where you get to interact with thousands of people in a virtual world. You can earn virtual money and buy virtual property, and...

Dave:
Oh, yeah, yeah, I heard about this game. I heard it's so realistic that you guys can't get dates there, either.

The War at Home, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Dave:
Kenny, come out of the closet right now!

[cut scene]

Kenny:
If only it were that easy.

The War at Home, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Hillary:
You've never liked any boy I've ever brought home.

Dave:
Oh, that's not true.

Hillary:
You know what, why don't you just pick my next boyfriend?

Dave:
No, no, no, no. I don't pick out. I kick out.

The War at Home, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Dave:
What are you talking about? We do a lot of fun things together.

Vicky:
Oh, yeah, we have a ball. There's nothing better than sitting on the couch watching TV, bitching about our kids during commercials.

Dave:
Come on, that's not all we do.

Vicky:
That's true. Sometimes we bitch about our jobs, too.

The War at Home, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Dave:
Think, Fink. This is your opportunity to be rid of Hillary Gold once and for all. And if I were you, I'd be attaching a rocket to her ass and shooting her out into space. I mean, seriously, do you really want this girl in your school a minute longer than necessary.

Principal Fink:
You know, I never quite thought of it like that. Okay!

The War at Home, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Dave:
I don't know about you two, but I'm sick and tired of working for that douche bag. I mean, when's it going to be my turn to be the boss and have people call me the douche bag?

Joe:
Apparently, a lot of people around here already think you're the boss.

The War at Home, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Dave:
Hey, look, I found my old notebook with all my old rhymes in it.

Larry:
You held on to that, and yet you threw away any picture of me before the age of ten.

Dave:
I was doing you a favor. You were not a photogenic child.

The War at Home, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Dave:
You have no idea what it's like to have an unsupportive father like that.

Larry:
I'm sure it could cause some real damage.

Dave:
You have no idea, freak show. No idea.

The War at Home, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Larry:
Yeah, but I thought Mom and Dad were happy.

Hillary:
Really? Douchebag and Skank never struck you as odd pet names?

The War at Home, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Vicky:
We need to choose somebody who would have guardianship over the kids.

Dave:
Look, I don't care that much about them now, all right? You think I'm going to care about them when I'm dead?

The War at Home, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Dave:
What the hell are you doing sitting by the trash cans?

Larry:
Just hanging out.

Dave:
Oh, I know I told you you were garbage before, but I didn't mean it literally.

The War at Home, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Dave:
(after sees Taye & Hillary kissing) Yo! Father in the room! Hey, Taye, let me tell you something. The only thing you should be kissing in this house is my ass.

The War at Home, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Mike:
Alright, I've been up all night brainstorming, and I think you're both going to be very pleased.

Larry:
Wow, you know, this is the first time I've ever been excited about having a little brother since they brought you home from the hospital and I realized that no one would pay any attention to me ever again... (pauses) So what do you got?

The War at Home, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Debbie Thornberry:
"Argh! (to the animal) What did I ever do to you? I don't even know what you are! (The animal is backing away from Debbie) Okay . . . if I was an antenna, and I wasn't destroyed by a . . . thing, I'd be . . . in the closet!" (The animal looks towards the camera)

The Wild Thornberrys, Season 1 (1998-99)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Rat:
(about Debbie) "What's her problem?"

Eliza Thornberry:
"She doesn't get out much, can you tell me where the water's coming from?"

Rat:
"Through that hole."

Eliza Thornberry:
"Thanks. (to Debbie) Debbie, come on, there's water up here."

Debbie Thornberry:
(Scoffs) "Like I'm thirsty."

The Wild Thornberrys, Season 2 (1999-00)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Lyrebird:
"Lyrebird."

The Wild Thornberrys, Season 2 (1999-00)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Rosie:
"Atta-girl, Eliza!"

The Wild Thornberrys, Season 2 (1999-00)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Darwin:
"I'm always the royal pet chimpanzee." (sighs)

The Wild Thornberrys, Season 1 (1998-99)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

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What TV show has the quote "man hands on misery to man it deepens like a coastal shelf"?
A Prince of Peroria
B Greenhouse Academy
C The Inbestigators
D A Series of Unfortunate Events