Wikidude's Quotes Page #401

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Fozzie Bear:
  [yelling up after having fallen down an elevator shaft]  I think something's wrong with the elevator.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Bobo the Bear:
  I was a mechanic back in the service—

Kermit:
  Mm-hmm.

Bobo the Bear:
  —and if you think about it, elevators and helicopters are basically the same thing.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Gonzo:
  So, Kermit, we got a great sketch for Patrick Dempsey.

Kermit:
  Oh, no, Dempsey's out.  We're going with a big block of butter.

Rizzo the Rat:
  Okay, we'll just tweak it.  Piggy's having a dream where she's making out with a big block of butter.

Kermit:
  Hmm?

Rizzo the Rat:
  Huh, it's actually funnier.

Gonzo:
  Yeah.

Pepe the King Prawn:
  And more realistic.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Kermit:
  Okay, okay, listen.  Somebody help the chef get this butter on ice and could we plea—  For Pete's sake, Animal, could you play any louder?!

Animal:
  Louder?  Okay!

Kermit:
  [stumbling on his words]  No, not, just—

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Kermit:
  [to Miss Piggy]   What took you so long!?  I ate so much sushi, they named a roll after me.  It was eel and cream cheese, it's awful!

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Floyd Pepper:
  [to Dr. Teeth]  You know what your problem is?  You think the whole world revolves around you, but it doesn't! It revolves around the moon, which is why we have winter!

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Janice:
  Your van?  Last I checked, this van belonged to the universe.

Dr. Teeth:
  Oh, is that so?  Well, maybe next payday, the universe can cut you a cheque.

Zoot:
Wait, what?

Animal:
You guys get PAID?!

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Kristin Chenoweth:
  Uh, question—about my seat belt.  I think it's just a guitar strap, uh, connected to—nothing.

Janice:
  Everything's connected to something, if you think about it.

Kristin Chenoweth:
  Okay, I would just feel safer if mine were, uh, you know, connected to the van in some way, and not just air.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

[Kermit has completed a plate featuring him and Denise on their first date]

Scooter:
So you went to the zoo on your first date?

Kermit:
Uh, no, it's a coffee shop.

Scooter:
Oh. Uh, why is there a hippo?

Kermit:
That's a table.

Scooter:
Oh, it was a safari-themed coffee shop! Got it. I guess that explains the giraffe.

Kermit:
[looks at plate That's Denise!

Scooter:
Why is her neck so long?

Kermit:
Scooter, necks are HARD! I... [sighs] Whoopsie Bin?

Scooter:
[takes plate] Yep.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

[Scooter and Kermit are at Color Me Mine]

Scooter:
You're gonna start with orange?

Kermit:
What's wrong with orange?

Scooter:
  Nothing, uh, orange is great if you're painting a, um…a, um…a, um…an orange.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Reese Witherspoon:
  [to the camera]  I'm not afraid of Miss Piggy.  She doesn't know what she's up against.  I mean, did you see my movie Wild?  I did all my own walking in that movie, so…

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

[Fozzie has just discovered that Statler tricked him and was not really injured. He is now driving in his car]

Fozzie Bear:
Every forest ranger will tell you the same thing. Most bear attacks do NOT happen because of hunger. They happen because some bear had his feelings hurt.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Ed Helms:
  [to Piggy and Scooter]  Uh, excuse me, I don't know whether or not you folks have considered whether or not you should keep believing, but I say [sings] don't stop believin', hold on to that feelin'…

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Kermit the Frog:
Welcome to the Morning Meeting, everybody... or should I say the "Whenever You Decide to Show Up" Meeting?

Floyd Pepper:
Uh, is that the official name now? That works a LOT better for us...

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Kermit the Frog:
  Okay, okay, look.  You guys all had your fun but now it's time to work.

The Swedish Chef:
  [mocks Kermit in a Swedish accent]

Kermit the Frog:
  Who said that?  Which one of you said that?

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Kermit the Frog:
  [to the camera]  So, big guest tonight on Up Late: we have Reese Witherspoon for the first time, but, uh, honestly, I'm a little nervous.  Y'know, but, nerves are good; they keep you sharp.  My cousin, Albert, used to tease me about it, then a hawk carried him off, which, uh, simultaneously proved my point and ruined our camping trip.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Miss Piggy:
  I know what it's like to work with my hands: I grew up on a farm.  I built cows and milked fences.

Reese Witherspoon:
  I think you mean—

Miss Piggy:
  No, that's what I did!

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Miss Piggy:
  [on Up Late with Miss Piggy to Reese Witherspoon]  And I have a couple of words to say to you.

Kermit the Frog:
  [offstage, to himself]  Oh, please let those two words be "I'm sorry."

Sam Eagle:
  [with his wing above a red buzzer]  I'm ready to bleep if they're not.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Gonzo:
  Oh, what about a scale?  That would be thoughtful.  Girls are always asking if they look fat; with a scale, they can know for sure.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Kristin Chenoweth:
  How long have they been married?

Janice:
  Oh, wow, like, how can you measure the intertwining of two souls?

Kristin Chenoweth:
  In years.

Janice:
  Oh, then forty.

Floyd Pepper:
  Aw, come on, Chenoweth, sing at the party!

Animal:
  Yeah, yeah!

Floyd Pepper:
  Look, my parents mean so much to me, without them, I don't even think I'd be here.

Kristin Chenoweth:
  [giggles]  Okay, I had so much fun with you guys and I'm open tomorrow so, yeah, let's do it.

Zoot:
  Well, thanks for nothing, Kristin Chenoweth; your selfishness just broke and old couple's heart.

Janice:
  [whispering]  She said "yes".

Zoot:
  Withdrawn.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Animal:
  Oh, oh!  Animal always want to perform with live snakes, but Zoot big baby.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Kermit the Frog:
My life is a bacon-wrapped Hell on Earth.

Sam Eagle:
Can't say "Hell."

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Miss Piggy:
  [sobbing]  I'm so embarrassed!  How could something like getting-revenge-on-a-person take such a dark turn?

Kermit the Frog:
  Okay, look, don't-don't worry, I'll, uh, I-I'll put out a press release to explain your behavior.  Are-are you more comfortable with sun poisoning or demonic possession?

Miss Piggy:
  [stops sobbing]  No, wait, there is only one way out of this.

Kermit the Frog:
  Delusional dehydration?  That sounds like a thing.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Kermit the Frog:
  This thing with Reese is everywhere; it's a P. R. nightmare!

Miss Piggy:
  [irritated]  Not now.

Kermit the Frog:
  It's the only video North Korea's allowing it's people to see—other than the one of the Supreme Leader swimming.

The Muppets, Season 1 (2015–16)  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

We need you!

Help us build the largest authors community and quotes collection on the web!

Quiz

Are you a quotes master?

»
Who said: "Love the life you live. Live the life you love."?
A Estee Lauder
B Socrates
C Marilyn Monroe
D Bob Marley