Wikidude's Quotes Page #5,774

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Freud:
And so, Ted's father's own fear of failure has caused him to make his son the embodiment of all his deepest anxieties about himself. And hence, his aggression transference onto Ted.

Ted:
[sits up] Whoa....

Freud:
Okay, Ted?

Ted:
Yes... Thank you very much, Sigmund Freud...

Freud:
Bill? [motions toward the couch]

Bill:
Nah. Just got a minor oedipal complex.

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Bill:
You know how to play, Rufus?

Rufus:
I play a little.

Rufus does a solo of complex guitar riffs

Bill:
Most outstanding, Rufus! Let's jam!

[the boys and princesses prepare to jam]

Ted:
Bill, my friend?

Bill:
Yes Ted, my friend?

Ted:
This has been a most excellent adventure.

Both:
1! 2! 1-2-3-4!

[The band start playing, very badly]

Rufus(to the camera):
They do get better.

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Veronica Vaughn:
Who would steal 30 bagged lunches?

[The scene cuts to show the bus driver, Jack and Frank eating the kids' lunches]

Old Lady:
I'll tell you who took those lunches. That damn Sasquatch!

Billy Madison  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[Billy is faking sick so he can skip school. He lays in bed with a mouth thermometer he heated with his desk-lamp]

Billy:
I swear to God I'm sick. I can't go to school.

Juanita:
If you're gonna stay home today, you can help me shave my armpits! (laughs)

Billy:
[disgusted] Oh, my God! I'll go to school!

Billy Madison  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Bus Driver:
Get on the bus here. Move it. Get up there. Kyle. 1, 2, 5, 7. Move it or lose it. Get on the bu-s Hi, Ms. Vaughn. Nice to see ya. [stops Billy] That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ass. I know from experience, dude, if you know what I mean.

Billy:
No, you don't.

Bus Driver:
Well, not me personally, but a guy I know ... him and her got it on! Whoooooo-eeeeee!

Billy:
No, they didn't.

Bus Driver:
No, no, no they didn't. But you could imagine what it'd be like if they did, right? Huh? Huh? [Billy gets on the bus] Everybody on? Good. Great! Grand! Wonderful! [closes the door, yelling]: NO YELLING ON THE BUS!

Billy Madison  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Dan:
[stuttering while reading] Wa-wa-wa-once th-th-th-there wa-wa-wa-was a-a-a-a g-g-girl ... who wa-a-an-

Billy:
Pffft! Kid can't even read.

Ernie:
Cut it out dude, you're gonna get us in trouble.

Dan:
An air-air-air-p-p-p-p-plane f-f-flying t-t-t ...

Billy:
T-t-t-today, Junior! Ha-ha-ha!

[Veronica Vaughn sends Billy out of the classroom, the kids laugh]

Billy:
[overreacting dramatically] OW!! YOU'RE TEARING MY EAR OFF!!

Veronica:
Making fun of a little kid trying to read! Are you psycho? Do you not have a soul?

Billy:
I'm sorry I can't hear you, I've been physically abused in the ear.

Veronica:
You keep your mouth shut for the next two weeks or I'm gonna fail you. End of story. [leaves]

Billy:
[under his breath] I see your lips moving, but I can't make out the words. I'm deaf! Ohh, Veronica Vaughn. Soooo hot! Want to touch the hiney! [howls]

Billy Madison  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

3rd Grader:
Hey, look everybody! Billy peed his pants!

Billy:
Of course I peed my pants! Everybody my age pees their pants; it's the coolest!

3rd Grader:
Really?

Billy:
YES! You ain't cool, unless you pee your pants.

3rd Grader:
Hey, look! Ernie peed his pants, too. All right!

Old Lady:
If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.

Billy:
Oh! That was the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life! LET'S GO!!!

Billy Madison  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Scotty:
Mortal Kombat on the Sega Genesis is the best video game ever.

Billy:
I disagree. It's a very good game, but I think Donkey Kong is the best video game ever.

Scotty:
Donkey Kong sucks!

Billy:
You know somethin'? YOU SUCK!

Billy Madison  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Lunch Lady:
Have some more Sloppy Joes. I made 'em EXTRA sloppy for yous! Ha, ha, ha! I know how yous kids like 'em sloppy! [laughs evilly]

Billy:
Lady, you're scarin' us!

[Everyone including Billy burst out laughing]

Billy Madison  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Billy:
H-hey! Look at all this milk! You want some of this milk?

Veronica:
That milk belongs to that classroom.

Billy:
Oh, they don't gots to know about it. It could be our milk.

Veronica:
No milk will ever be our milk.

Billy:
Ooh, that wasn't very nice. How 'bout you, Sideburns? You want some of this milk?

Janitor:
I'd rather have a beer.

Billy Madison  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[first lines]

Billy:
[singing while relaxing in his pool] Suntan lotion is good for me; you protect me, tee-hee-hee! Oh, the sun tries to burn me, but YOU WON'T LET IT! WILL YA?!?! Ultraviolet rays: bad! Lotion: good! [makes a smiley face with his sunblock] Smiley!

Billy Madison  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Veronica:
You know some people have no will power, no ambition. They just drift through life like lumps of crap.

Jack:
What is she talkin' about?!

Billy Madison  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Frank:
Well, this is great! When I graduated 1st grade all my dad did was tell me to get a job! Hey, you wanna feed that donkey some beer? Get it all messed up?

Billy:
Maybe later.

Frank:
I'll go put some beer in a bucket.

Billy:
Okay.

Billy Madison  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Brian:
Oh Billy, Billy boy, when are you going to find whatever it is you're lookin' for?

Billy:
Here's a nice piece of shit! Old man Clements hates shit! He's gonna freak, when he realizes it's shit!

Billy Madison  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Brian:
Billy, it wasn't just high school. Do you remember that spelling bee you won in the 1st grade?

Billy:
Oh, no you didn't.

Brian:
Rock ... R-O-K.

Billy:
Yeah, so what's your point?

Brian:
R-O-C-K!

Billy:
The 'C' is silent, ha-ha!

Billy Madison  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Billy:
Man, why did I have so many drinks? I can't remember! What's today?

Frank:
October?

Billy:
It's Nudie Magazine Day!!

Billy Madison  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Principal Anderson:
[on TV] The statement I made about Billy Madison was and is completely untrue.

Eric:
No.

Principal Anderson:
I know now that shall never escape my fate as the Revolting Blob.

Eric:
No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! [angrily throws a stapler, and it hits his secretary, accidentally knocking her out]

Principal Anderson:
It's something I must learn to live with.

Eric:
Joyce?

Brian:
What a mess. First, this psycho goes on TV, lies, then retracts it, and now Eric's secretary is in a coma. Carl, has anyone been able to find out anything about this Max guy?

Carl:
No, sir. He's vanished.

Eric:
[to Brian] I believed in Billy all along.

Billy:
[to Eric] Oh, cut the horseshit! I know you blackmailed Max.

Brian:
Take it easy, Billy. Things were going along great, until this wrestling freak messed things up. Billy should get another shot at high school.

Eric:
Hey, rules are rules. Billy was supposed to finish each grade within the 2 weeks, or I get the company. He didn't finish 9th grade.

Carl:
Eric, certainly there are extenuating circumstances.

Eric:
Extenuating, exshmenuating! We had a deal. A signed, written deal. Each grade, 2 weeks, or I get the company.

Brian:
Well, technically, you're right, but--

Eric:
Oh, shut up, Brian! I've had to listen to your jawing for too long. [mimicking Brian] "Well, technically, mmeh-mmeh-mmeh--" [normal voice; loudly] Just SHUT UP! [gets up] Are you ready to hand the company over to me now?

Brian:
No!

Eric:
Then I'll see your ass in court.

Brian:
Good.

Eric:
Nice talkin' to ya, shitheads. Hhhheh-heh-heh-heh-heh!

Billy Madison  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

12th grade O'Doyle:
[after stuffing Billy's locker with manure] O'Doyle rules!

Billy:
O'Doyle, I got a feeling your whole family's going down. But for now, I gotta study.

Billy Madison  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Dan:
Hey, I dare you to throw your sandwich at the bus driver. Do it. Come on.

[Kyle throws his sandwich at the bus driver]

Bus Driver:
HEY!

Veronica:
Hey, who threw that?

Bus Driver:
I'll turn this damn bus around. That'll end your precious little field trip pretty damn quick, huh? You little...

Billy Madison  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Knibb High Principal:
Mr. Madison, what you've just said was one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Billy:
Okay, a simple "wrong" would've done just fine. [sits back in his seat]

Knibb High Principal:
[to Billy] You remain one point ahead. [to Eric] Mr. Gordon, it is your turn. [to Billy] Mr. Madison, choose the topic.

[Billy examines the topic chart]

Billy:
I choose "Business Ethics".

Knibb High Principal:
[draws a question card] Mr. Gordon, the American business environment has fundamentally changed, following the insider trading and savings and loan scandals. Explain business ethics and how they're applied today.

Student in the audience:
Booo!

[Eric gets out of his seat and approaches the microphone]

Eric:
The, uh... ethics of, uh... business can be summarized in...

Student in the audience:
Booo!

Eric:
See, ethics are, uh... Y'know, the... the thing about ethi-- [completely loses it] GAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

[Eric whips out a revolver in a fit of rage and kicks down the microphone. Everyone panics and flees]

Eric:
[angrily] That question was not fair! That was not in the reading! I demand a new question.

Billy:
[smugly] Take it easy, psycho. You blew it, you lose.

Eric:
[turns to Billy] I oughtta blow you away, you miserable...

Billy:
Well, go ahead and do it!

Billy Madison  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Osman Ali Atto:
I see not catching Aidid is becoming routine.

General William Garrison:
We're not leaving Somalia until we find him. And we will find him.

Atto:
(scoffing) You've been here, what, six weeks. Six weeks, you tried to catch the General. You put up reward posters. $25,000. What's this, gunfight at K.O. Corral?

Garrison:
It's O.K. Corral

Atto:
Don't make the mistake of thinking because I grew up without running water I am simple, General. I do know something about history. See all this? It's simply shaping tomorrow. A tomorrow without a lot of Arkansas white-boys' ideas in it.

Garrison:
Well, I wouldn't know about that. I'm from Texas.

Atto:
Mr. Garrison, I think you should not have come here. This is civil war. This is our war, not yours.

Garrison:
Three hundred thousand dead and counting. That's not a war, Mr. Atto. That's genocide.

Black Hawk Down  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[Troops are having an impromptu barbecue with a wild boar killed by Hoot.]

Captain Steele:
Sergeant, what's going on here?

Hoot:
Oh, just some aerial target practice, sir. Didn't want to leave it behind.

Steele:
I'm talking about your weapon. [points to Hoot's slung M4] Delta or no Delta, that's a hot weapon. You know better than that. Your safety should be on at all times on base.

Hoot:
[holding up his index finger] Well, this is my safety, sir. [bends finger and walks away]

Sanderson:
Let it go, sir. The guy hasn't eaten in a couple of days.

Steele:
You Delta boys are a bunch of undisciplined cowboys. Let me tell you something, Sergeant. We get on the five-yard line, you're going to need my Rangers. So you all better learn to be team players. We're done here.

Sanderson:
[stares at him] Enjoy your meal, Captain. [walks away]

Black Hawk Down  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[The Rangers make last-minute preparations for the mission; Grimes is filling a canteen.]

Nelson:
You're not gonna need that, dude. We're not out there long enough. [Grimes sets aside the canteen and starts to pack his NOD night vision goggles.]

Twombly:
You're not gonna need that, either. Might as well take dope and beer instead.

Grimes:
What?

Twombly:
Ammo, dude. Take ammo.

Black Hawk Down  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Nelson:
The Humvees ain't coming back, dude.

Twombly:
What? Were we supposed to go to them?

Nelson:
I thought they were supposed to come to us.

Twombly:
I think we're supposed to go to them.

Nelson:
Shit.

Twombly:
Okay, let's go to the crash site.

Nelson:
Okay. Just don't fire that thing so close to my head. I can barely hear as it is.

Twombly:
[sees a group of Somali militiamen closing in on them.] Shit! Get down! [fires a long burst inches above Nelson's head.]

Nelson:
What did I just tell you? I swear to God if you do that again - [Twombly fires on another group of armed Somalis] AAAAHHH!

Twombly:
You okay? Nelson, you all right?

Nelson:
WHAT?

Black Hawk Down  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

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Barbra Streisand's first line in her first movie was...?
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B "Papa, can you hear me?"
C "Hi, I am here!"
D "Hello gorgeous!"