Hawaii Five-0, Season 5

[Steve and Danny are being interviewed as part of their yearly psychological evaluations.]

Danny:
So, uh, we have been together for 3 years.

Steve:
4.

Danny:
See, this is specifically what I'm talking about.

Steve:
I was correcting you.

Danny:
Okay, 4.

Steve:
Three years, eleven months, three days. Exactly.

Danny:
You're done? [Steve gives him a "duh" look.]

Psychologist:
Detective Williams asked you a question.

Steve:
What?

Psychologist:
He asked if you were going to allow him to finish his thought.

Steve:
Who's side are you on?

Psychologist:
I don't take sides, Commander. I'm an objective observer. You know the Governor asked me to oversee the annual psychological audit of personnel and I was concerned by what Detective Williams had to say.

Steve:
Okay, yeah, fine. So we don't agree on a few things but I don't see why that's such a big deal.

Danny:
[interrupts] "A few things"? A few things?! We don't agree on anything.

Steve:
You wanna know why you spend so much time in the passenger seat?

Danny:
[sarcastically] This should be fantastic.

Steve:
You wanna know?

Danny:
Yeah.

Steve:
I get carsick if I don't drive. [Danny scoffs and starts laughing] And he laughs.

Psychologist:
So five people make up the Five-O Task Force.

Steve:
Yeah, but we're more than a task force you see. We're ohana.

[Danny looks away wistfully]

Psychologist:
Why the look, Detective Williams?

Danny:
Oh, no, no look. I guess I was just agreeing with him. For the first time. [smiles]

Steve:
I think we're good. [smiles]

Vice Admiral Graham Rhodes:
Now, you know I can't confirm whether Lieutenant Larkin's on a mission, Commander. What I can tell you is, there have been no security breaches on any of our current ops.

Steve:
Okay, um, sir, Lieutenant Larkin's daughter was kidnapped just two hours ago, all right? We believe that the mission that he either is or is not on could be the key to getting her back.

VAdm Rhodes:
That may be so, but I'm telling you, it's got nothing to do with our ops. You're just gonna have to take my word on that.

Steve:
Yeah, with all due respect, sir, we've, uh we've been down this road before, you and I, and oh, you owe me.

VAdm Rhodes:
[chuckles] Well, you did save my ass with that Chinese satellite. That much is true.

Steve:
You're welcome.

VAdm Rhodes:
But, unfortunately, I've said all I can on this matter.

Steve:
What about his files? Can you give us access to his files?

VAdm Rhodes:
I can do that.

Steve:
Okay. If his daughter's kidnapping has anything to do with his service, there'll be a list of suspects there.

Danny:
Uh, one more thing, I'm sorry-- um, Angela, his wife, uh, has been trying to get in touch with him. Is there any way we could make that happen? That would be nice.

VAdm Rhodes:
I'm sensitive to the situation, Detective. Truly, I am. And I'm sure as soon as Lieutenant Larkin is available, he'll contact his wife.

Steve:
Let's go. Thank you.

[Later in the car]

Steve:
[sighs] We take an oath, Danny.

Danny:
I understand that. But this is about the guy's family.

Steve:
You don't think he's got a right to know? Of course he has a right to know, all right? But right now his team needs him focused and ready to lead. You tell him about his daughter, you could put all their lives in danger and compromise the entire mission.

Danny:
Well, let me tell you something that you don't know, okay? As a parent, when your child is in trouble, you can sense it. You know about it. Like right now, Lieutenant Larkin, he knows that. He doesn't know why, but he knows it. Don't you think that puts him and his team in just as much danger?

Jerry:
[watches Chin run facial recognition software on a suspect] Facial recognition. Total violation of our First Amendment rights.

Danny:
Drop the weapon. Drop the weapon, Jason. You got to drop that weapon right now. We know about the accident. We know it wasn't your fault. You got to drop that weapon right now.

Jason:
Do you have any idea how it feels to lose someone you love? To live with the guilt that it's your fault?

Danny:
No, I can't imagine what that must feel like.

Jason:
No, you can't.

Danny:
Listen, no parent should have to go through what you went through.

Jason:
What do I have to live for?

Danny:
Listen to me, there's a family out there right now and they want to see their daughter. I know you don't want to put them through the pain of having to bury that kid. I know that's not what you want, right?

Lou:
Where's the brains?

Steve:
What are you talking about?

Lou:
Williams. He's the brains. You're the brawn.

Steve:
Okay. What does that make you?

Lou:
Me? Come on, man. I'm the pretty face.

[Kono holds up a bright red bikini and stares at Lou after being told she is to go undercover as a surfer]

Kono:
You're joking.

Lou:
Hey, don't look at me-- this is McGarrett's idea.

Kono:
[clears throat] Huh...I'm not wearing this.

Steve:
These girls are surfers; we know where they hang out. The only way we're gonna find them is if they don't see us coming. What's the problem?

Kono:
Okay, then it falls on me?

Lou:
Well, you're the surfer, ain't ya?

Steve:
Yeah. Plus, you're the only one who can walk down on that beach without broadcasting "cop". Hey, listen, we need eyes out there, okay? Somebody on that beach must know who these girls are, plus, the alternative is Grover in a Speedo.

Lou:
Hey. Couple of years ago, I could've pulled it off, but...[looks down at his belly] Well, you know.

Kono:
[sighs] Fine. But I pick the suit.

Lou:
[knocks down a suspect who tried to run away] Didn't your mother tell you to look both ways?! [handcuffs suspect] Come on. Let's go to jail.

Kono:
[voice-over] Those girls had no idea what they were walking into when they got onto that bus. For them, life as they knew it was simple. It was waking up every day with a desire to catch a better wave than the day before. The adrenaline you feel paddling out knowing that at any time you could get the ride of your life. And then there's the rush of walking on water. Only gods do that. Everything they did was to preserve that life. To surf is to get up every day with a desire to battle something greater than yourself. And those girls just wanted to ride that wave as long as they could. And now their endless summer is over.

Detroit PD detective:
[telling Five-O about their suspect Mercer] He's a world-class house painter whose expertise is the "€œWhite Death",€ that is, making people disappear. [...] You just know he's been there because his victims are never seen or heard from again. On the street, they call him "€œValentine".

Lou:
Oh, that's cute.

Chin:
Why Valentine?

Detroit PD detective:
Because people who know him say he doesn't have a heart.

[Ron Mercer has been caught for shooting Steve Stegner, AKA Gordon Bristol. Five-0 asks why he killed him]

Ron Mercer:
Sometimes things happen that change a person's perspective on life.

Steve:
Well, that's that's some deep and soulful stuff for a man who's killed over a hundred people.

Mercer:
[laughs] Two years ago middle of a thunderstorm, I got into a head-on with a moving van with bad brakes. Doctors said I suffered a traumatic ventricular failure. That there was a 100% certainty I would die if I didn't get a new heart.

Steve:
Okay, how'd you get to the top of the list?

Mercer:
You gentlemen forget who I work for. Men like Albert Bagosa doesn't get wait-listed. I needed a new heart. He got me one. Not that he had any great affection for me. He just needed me to get back to work. I was told that my heart belonged to a very special young man. He taught at about the worst school in the city. Served meals at the local soup kitchen. Built houses for the homeless during his summer break. Then one day, this solid citizen, this man who lived to make a difference, got hit by a drunk driver while crossing the street. And it was the luckiest thing that ever happened to me. 'Cause I got a piece of him. After that, things changed. Went about my business the way I always done it, but when it came to the moment of truth, couldn't go through with it. Just couldn't pull the trigger. And it kept happening contract after contract. Something happened when I got that new heart. I began thinking of the people I was asked to kill. Their loved ones. Their families. What did they do to deserve me?

Steve:
Okay. Well, if your story's true, that can't have made Mr. Bagosa happy.

Mercer:
I never told Bagosa. Every contract I got, I pretended to fill it.

Chin Ho Kelly:
So, what about all the people you're supposed to kill? What happened to them?

Mercer:
I found a safe place to hide them.

Chin Ho:
You created your own witness protection program.

Mercer:
That's right. An entire community made up of people that didn't deserve to die - but somehow Bagosa found out.

Chin Ho Then how is it that you're still walking around?

Mercer:
I'm that good.

Steve:
That's why Bagosa sent Stegner to Hawaii, huh? To kill those people that you've been hiding?

Mercer:
Those people are innocent. I couldn't let Stegner end their lives. You think I'm lying?

Lou:
I think you just told a really great campfire story. The only things missing are the marshmallows.

Jerry:
How can I help?

Steve:
So, listen, if somebody wanted to live off the grid, Jerry, and I'm talking like Big Brother-fearing, income tax-avoiding, way, way off the grid, where would they go?

Kono:
We're talking no phone service, no nosey tourists, no contact with the outside world.

Lou:
What they're trying to say is where do your like-minded friends all live? How many people we looking at? Maybe a dozen, possibly more.

[Danny's incensed that his brother Matt is dead and stored in an oil drum when he and Steve came all the way to Colombia to bring in Reyes' money in exchange. He and Steve take out the guards before facing Reyes again]

Danny:
[Punches Reyes and shoves him back to a table] What'd I just tell you, huh? What'd I say? Huh? What'd I tell you? Huh? Huh? What'd I say? [points pistol at him] Okay. Look at me. You look at me, look at me, look at me. That's it. [fires]

Steve:
[at his father's grave site] Hey, Dad. Spoke to Aunt Deb last week. Looks like she's gonna give chemo a shot. She, um she said to me, "The McGarretts are fighters." And Mary, Mary's good. You wouldn't believe it, Dad, but she has, uh she's become such a strong woman. And she's such a great mother to that little girl. She sends me videos, like, every other day. I'm getting to watch Joanie grow up. It's amazing. Kid's starting to take her first steps. I really wish you were here for all of this. I think you would have liked being a grandfather. [kisses a quarter and puts it on the plaque] I miss you, Dad.

Kamekona:
You know what your problem is, brah? You're the hoarder.

Jerry:
Yeah, a hoarder of truth.

Dr. Mindy Shaw:
Jerry, compulsive hoarding is a symptom of OCD. Have you ever been diagnosed?

Jerry:
Oh, yeah, Dr. Shaw? Hanging out with dead people all day could be considered borderline necrophilia. Have you ever been diagnosed?

Dr. Shaw:
Denial is another symptom.

John McGarrett:
[in flashback, to a teenaged Ellie Clayton] I've, uh I've got a daughter about your age. When things get tough, I say to her you need to be strong. You need to be brave. And if you can do that, then you're gonna be okay.

Chin:
Your dad had some regrets. But you know what I think his biggest one was? Sending you and Mary away when you thought your mother had been killed.

Steve:
I mean he had to, he did that for our safety.

Chin:
Yeah, he did. But I think he came to believe it would have been better for you if he hadn't. That he should have kept you close, been in your lives every day.

[Jerry goes to his basement and is surprised to see Thomas Farrow, the bookshop owner-cum-counterfeiter he has been tracking]

Farrow:
Hello, Mr. Ortega.

Jerry:
What are you doing here?

Farrow:
Returning your book. Did you ever read it?

Jerry:
No.

Farrow:
There's a passage in here that warns of the perils of meddling in someone else's affairs. "He who does will face retribution."

Max:
[hands Chin and Lou coats as the victim is in a freezer] Gentlemen, the good news is our homicide victim is well-preserved. The bad news, it's below zero in there.

Lou:
[scoffs] You know what we call below zero in Chicago? April.

Jerry:
Whatever happened to "immunity and means"? Since when does Five-O need a warrant?

Steve:
Since you decided to conduct your own illegal surveillance operation, Jerry.

Jerry:
[about Thomas Farrow] My money's on him being an MI-6 bad-ass. That's British Secret Intelligence Service.

Danny:
I know. I've seen James Bond.

Jerry:
Hey, can you guys manage here without me? [Steve glares at him]

Danny:
[facetiously] No.

Jerry:
Well, you're gonna have to. I have a British source. He's kind of my one-stop-shop for all Brit-related intel. We also watch Doctor Who together.

Steve:
You're a murderer. Five innocent Iraqis died as a direct result of your orders.

Farrow:
I'm a soldier.

Steve:
No, you're not. You gave up that privilege when you crossed the line.

Farrow:
What line? Warfare's messy. It lives in the gray. Always has.

Steve:
[to Sang Min about Lou] He's with us now, so he's got the right to slap you around, knock your teeth out if you get out of line.

[In the alternate universe. Danny has shot Victor Hesse' knee to get him to confess, shocking Steve.]

Steve:
What kind of cop are you?

Danny:
The kind of cop that gets things done.

[In real life, Wo Fat has Steve tied up in the chair and injected with truth serum]

Wo Fat:
You know nothing about the real Doris McGarrett.

Steve:
Do you? I know that she was assigned to kill your father. But instead your mother died in that op.

Wo Fat:
Yes. And she never forgave herself for murdering an innocent woman who had just become a new mother. That pain and anguish caused her to do something quite remarkable. She took in that child and raised it as her own for several years. Until her superiors discovered this and forced her–

Steve:
They forced her to abandon that child. That was you.

[Aunt Deb's boyfriend, Leonard Cassano, asks her about breaking some news, but Steve overhears]

Steve:
What news?

Aunt Deb:
Short version. Leonard popped the question and I said yes. [shows her engagement ring]

Steve:
You're engaged?

Deb:
Yeah.

Steve:
You've been dating for a couple of months. What's the rush?

Deb:
[slaps Steve on the arm] Oh, my pragmatic nephew. Never one for romance or the grand gesture. Honey, you know the country western song "Live Like You Were Dying"?

Steve:
Yeah.

Deb:
Well, makes more sense when you're actually dying.

Danny:
[to Steve] You know what you are? You're like a big marshmallow filled with testosterone.

[Leonard talks to Steve about representing a client Five-0's been going after]

Steve:
I got no issue with you being a lawyer, Leonard.

Leonard Cassano:
You just don't like my client. I worked for Gino Leone, yeah, but I felt like my real job was to keep the government accountable. There were times they overreached trying to put Gino behind bars.

Steve:
Yeah, because they knew he was guilty.

Leonard:
But if Gino Leone doesn't have the same right to privacy and self-incrimination as the rest of us, sooner or later, none of us will have those rights. So I gave him my best defense.

Steve:
Apparently, you gave him a little more than your best defense. The word is that you helped him bury evidence. I checked you out.

Leonard:
I knew you would, that's why I brought this. [picks a box wrapped in brown paper out of a bag] One morning, an envelope was dropped at my office. Inside was a key to a locker in the Penn Station and a note that read, "Destroy anything you find." This box was in the locker.

Steve:
What's in it?

Leonard:
I don't know. If I had opened this box and there was evidence, morally I would have been compelled to share it with the prosecution. So I didn't open it, but I didn't destroy it either. I would never do that.

Steve:
What do you want me to do with it?

Leonard:
Do whatever you think is right. I ended my treatment the day before Deb and I got on the boat. There's nothing more they can do. I'm feeling pretty good right now, but in a month or so, I'm going to take a turn for the worse. All I really want to do is spend whatever time I have left making your aunt the happiest woman in the world. We're getting married tomorrow, but I know it wouldn't feel right to her unless you were there and I appreciate you hearing me out. [leaves]

[Leonard and Deb say their wedding vows]

Leonard Cassano:
My beautiful Deb. I can't believe that a diagnosis of stage IV cancer could make me the happiest man in the world, but it's.. it's true. You held my hand through chemo, but you were my real treatment. I can't even remember my life before you came along and changed everything. You are my angel, my one in a million and all I want is to be your husband. To cherish every moment we have together. I love you.

Deb McGarrett:
I love you. I don't have a way with words the way my darling Leonard has, so, uh, I've chosen to rely on the Gershwin brothers. [sings 'S_Wonderful with Kamekona and Flipper providing the background music]

'S wonderful, 'S marvelous,

You should care For me..

'S awful nice 'S paradise 'S what I love To see

You've made my life so glamorous

You can't blame me for feeling amorous

Oh, 's wonderful, 'S marvelous

That you should care For me.

[Harry Brown, a former HPD officer turned PI, reflects on a mission to recover an old friend's daughter]

Harry Brown:
No matter what they tell you, time doesn't heal all wounds. When someone you love is ripped from your life, that scar stays with you forever. But the one bright light in all the darkness is knowing that men like Steve McGarrett are out there, making sure the good guys always come out on top.

[HPD Officer Kai Pua is assigned to review all security camera footage at the Honolulu Marriott and his long-time crush, Kono, visits him]

Kai Pua:
Officer Kai, back in the saddle. I told Gene here I used to work this gig over at the Marriott. He was kind enough to let me take the wheel.

Kono Kalakaua:
Well, you still got the touch, I see.

Kai:
Indeed, I do. But, full disclosure, your window of opportunity has finally closed. I've been in an exclusive relationship for three weeks.

Kono:
Really? Hmm, well, who's the lucky girl?

Kai:
Her name is Brenda. Met her at a karaoke bar. My rendition of "Love Is a Battlefield" closed the deal.

Kono:
Bold choice. I'm sure you hit those high notes.

[Having learned that Kamekona's taking on Hawaiian food expert Sam Choy at Shrimpalooza, Iron Chef Masaharu Morimoto agrees to help him prepare, but a sample of his dish does not pass muster]

Kamekona:
It's the pressure. It's affecting my game.

Masaharu Morimoto:
Problem is, you are cooking from here. [points at temple] You should be cooking from here. [points at Kamekona's heart] To be your best, you must search within yourself. Rediscover your passion.

Kamekona:
That's heavy.

Morimoto:
Tell me- who did you train under?

Kamekona:
Trigger Mike.

Morimoto:
I'm not familiar with Chef Trigger Mike.

Kamekona:
I should hope not. He ran the mess up at Halawa Correctional. Gave me my first job in a kitchen. I became pretty good at it, too. My butter shrimp were so famous, the night guards used to sneak in the fresh catch. I used to grill 'em up in my cell on a hot plate that ran off a car battery. Some of the best meals I ever cooked.

Morimoto:
Show me that.

Kamekona:
Hai. [sets up his makeshift stove and cooks his butter shrimps. He completes enough for one plate and has Iron Chef Morimoto taste it]

Morimoto:
[eats one slice and lights up upon discovering how good it is] This is how you will beat Choy. Now we just work on your technique.

[Max talks to Steve, Grover, and Chin Ho via videoconference about the supposed fate of four students at the Waimea Reform School]

Max:
Commander, after a thorough examination, I've determined that each of our young victims were suffering from acute dehydration and starvation in the days leading up to and at the time of their deaths.

Chin Ho Kelly:
Take a look at this. [taps screen for news clipping] The week they disappeared was one of the hottest on record for Oahu. Daytime temps hovered in the mid-90s for five straight days.

Max:
And this is the basement that the school used as solitary confinement. The same one that Tahni saw the boys being led into the night they returned.

Lou Grover:
No windows, no ventilation. Must have been unbearable down there.

Max:
In that kind of heat, left in a poorly ventilated space, without food or water for a significant amount of time would be equivalent to leaving an infant in a car with a rolled-up window in the middle of the summer. As a result of all these findings, I'm listing the official cause of death as homicide.

[Steve talks with Nahele Huikala, the youth identified as having stolen his Mercury Marquis]

Steve:
You know what that is? That's a criminal complaint for felony grand larceny auto, charging you with the theft of my car.

Nahele Huikala:
I-I understand, sir, and when I get out of jail, promise I'll pay you back -

Steve:
Hold on, hold on. I'm not done. The only thing missing from this is my signature. I'm gonna make you the deal of a lifetime. All right? This is what's gonna happen. First, we're gonna go to all the body shops, get back all the parts you sold off. And then you and me, we're gonna put my car back together exactly the way it was before you took it. As long as you keep your nose clean, this complaint stays [pushes file in drawer] in my drawer, unsigned. You understand?

Nahele:
Yes. Thank you.

Steve:
Don't thank me yet. I got eyes and ears all over this island. If I hear one incident, you step out of line one time for the smallest thing, I don't care what it is, I'm gonna find you and I'm not gonna be the nice guy sitting across the desk from you today. Do you understand?

Nahele:
Yes. Thank you.

Steve:
This is your second chance, Nahele, all right? Could be, could be your last chance. Don't blow it, buddy. Take advantage of it.

[Lou Grover and his daughter, Samantha, talk over her nightmares involving Ian Wright]

Lou Grover:
Hang on a second, Samantha.

Samantha Grover:
What is it, Dad?

Lou:
Sweetheart, you know I love you, right?

Samantha:
Of course I do.

Lou:
All right. And you know that if I could have, I would've done anything in the world to keep that stuff from happening to you. I'm afraid there's nothing I can do to change that now. The only thing that can change now is you. And that's gonna take time. Just like your body had to heal, your mind has to heal, too, and you might have another bad night or two. I'm not gonna promise you you're gonna forget all about this one day, but I can promise you it's gonna get easier. You know, I can promise you that we will get through this as a family. Your mother, your brother, me and you. And I want you to know that whether I'm in the next room or not, I'm always there for you, little mama. Always.

Samantha:
All right. [father and daughter embrace]

Lou:
You hungry?

Samantha:
I'm starving!

Joe White:
You know, Steve, if I didn't know better, I would swear there was something on your mind.

Steve:
[sighs] You want to do this with me? You want to talk circles with me, huh? You know I got questions.

Joe:
And I'm not gonna duck them anymore. You want answers- I'm here to give you answers. Fire away.

Steve:
Did you know about my mother's relationship with Wo Fat?

Joe:
I knew that she took care of him after his mother was killed, until the CIA found out about it and they forced her to abandon him.. and I promised her I would never tell you that.

Steve:
So why are you telling me now?

Joe:
Because you deserve to know the truth.

Steve:
Okay. Here's the thing, Joe-- I already got the truth, and I got from the person I least expected it from.

Joe:
Wo Fat?

Steve:
Yeah.

Joe:
And I bet that pissed you off.

Steve:
Well, I put a bullet in his head. What do you think?

Joe:
Steve, I believe that your mother always did what she thought was right.

Steve:
What my mother did was self-serving, and it was all to cover up the murder of an innocent woman. Wo Fat's mother was an innocent woman.

Joe:
Doris had an assignment- that death was collateral.

Steve:
She covered it up, and that is a crime.

Joe:
So I tell you where she is, and what-- what are you gonna do then? Are you gonna go arrest your own mother?

Steve:
Are you gonna tell me where she is? You just finished telling me you're done ducking my questions. [gets startled by wrecking ball broadsiding the car]

Kelly:
It's gonna take more than a wrecking ball to stop Steve.

[one of Dr Rennick's assistants talk with Danny and Kono about the potential of a weaponized H5N4 virus]

Assistant:
You do understand that if there's a widespread outbreak of this virus, we'd be looking at a slate wiper.

Danny:
Slate wiper?

Assistant:
From all the projections we've done, a weaponized H5N4 would decimate the population.

Kono:
Of Oahu?

Assistant:
The world. [they see a computer simulation where Oahu is gradually swamped with red dots indicating cases and the world turns red as well]

[Taking JC Dekker's advice over her feelings for Adam, Kono decides to meet him at his yakuza meeting. He excuses for a moment.]

Adam Noshimuri:
Kono, you okay?

Kono Kalakaua:
Yeah, I'm good. I look worse than I feel.

Adam:
Come here. What happened?

Kono:
It doesn't matter. What matters is I love you. And I can't imagine my life without you. [Adam is nonplussed] I want to be your wife, Adam.

Adam:
Really? [Kono smiles and they kiss]

Danny:
[walks into Steve's house] He's dead. He is dead. [walks into kitchen]

Steve:
Good morning to you, too.

Danny:
I swear, I think that I am gonna kill this little punk. [sees Steve making coffee] Nice.

Steve:
Okay. Who we killing?

Danny:
This, uh, kid in Grace's math class, his name is 'Apane, and he's been texting her nonstop. Text, text, text, text, text, text.

Steve:
How do you know he's been texting her?

Danny:
Because I bought her a new cellular phone and somehow in the family cloud share plan, whatever you call it, it got mixed up and I'm receiving all of her text messages.

Steve:
So you've been spying on her.

Danny:
I'm not spying on my kid. What'd I just say? Number one. Number two, it's called parenting, so you know.

Steve:
It's also spying.

Danny:
You know why you think it's funny? Because you don't understand subtext.

Steve:
Subtext. They're two kids talking about candy the day before Valentine's Day. Romance is in the air, Danny.

Danny:
Romance is in the air?

Steve:
Romance is in the air.

Danny:
No, romance is not in the air. You know why? Because she's twelve. There should not be any romance in her airspace, period.

Lou:
Anybody bringing a camera to a gunfight got my respect.

Steve:
You know, I got to know some of these embeds when I was downrange. I got to tell you, they're a special breed. I mean, they're driven and they're committed, but they're crazy.

Max:
And may I ask what Cupid has in store for you?

Dr. Mindy Shaw:
I have a date with my Kindle and a nice bottle of Cab.

Max:
Ah, how wonderfully pathetic.

Dr. Shaw:
What's pathetic is a made-up commercial holiday dedicated to the patron saint of not only love, but of epilepsy, fainting and the plague.

Max:
Well, romantics, such as myself, view Valentine's Day as a perfect opportunity to express our true feelings for the one we love.

Dr. Shaw:
Saint Valentine was brutally murdered by a Roman emperor.

Lou:
Raising kids is a lot like grilling burgers.

Danny:
Uh-huh.

Lou:
You can't poke them and prod them too much. All you can do is just watch them closely and be there when the flames jump up.

Danny:
That's it! There you go. That's fantastic.

Danny:
Steve?

Steve:
Yeah?

Danny:
You got to hear this. Grover is comparing, uh, raising children to, uh, making hamburgers.

Lou:
What's the matter with that?

Steve:
I like it.

Danny:
You like it?

Steve:
I like it.

Danny:
Right. 'Cause the analogy is free, like, uh, the-the booze is free. The beers are free. Everything is free.

[Lou is trying to teach Steve how to play golf. Steve takes a swing.]

Lou:
[sighs in dismay] Brother, you're playing what we like to call military golf. Left, right, left, right.

Steve:
What am I doing wrong?

Lou:
Well, for starters, you're swinging like a gorilla. Don't you remember what I said in the parking lot? This is a game of finesse. The easier you swing, the further that little white ball goes.

Steve:
Okay, that doesn't make any sense to me.

[Former U.S. Women's Open champion and Honolulu native Michelle Wie stops by to say hi and greets a star-struck Lou]

Steve:
You guys know each other?

Lou:
Please ignore my ignorant friend. He just crawled out from under a rock this morning, with a driver in his hand.

[...]

Michelle Wie:
[to Steve] If you don't mind, I just want to give you a tip. I just saw something from back there.

Lou:
Oh, I would yes, please. By all means, yeah, especially if it's free. His motto is, "If it's for free, then it's for me."

[After saving Amber Vitale from her exhusband Frank Simpson, Danny hears her true story]

Amber Vitale:
I didn't have much of a family as a kid. And when I was 19, I met Frank. And he was older and charming and he was the first man who ever made me feel special. A year later, we were married, and everything changed. He wanted to control every aspect of my life. And when I stood up for myself, he got violent. One night, he, uh, he almost killed me, so I-I left the city and ran as fast and far away as I could. And then I met you.

Danny Williams:
I got lucky, huh? [laughs] Right, babe?

Amber:
I wouldn't call it lucky.

Danny:
No?

Amber:
No. I-I mean, I was, I was afraid you would think I was damaged goods. That you wouldn't want me with all that baggage.

Danny:
Baggage? Look, I got, um, I got plenty of baggage my-my-myself, you know? I think between the two of us, we may be able, be able to open up a luggage joint one day, you know?

Amber:
Yeah.

Danny:
Look, um I say that-that that part of your life is over with now. You know, it's finished. I mean, we we can start over right now. What do you say? Hmm?

Amber:
Yeah.

Danny:
Yeah.

Amber:
Yeah? Be good? I'm Melissa Armstrong.

Danny:
Melissa Armstrong? [chuckles] Oh Melissa Armstrong, I'm, uh, Danny Williams; nice to meet you.

Amber:
It's nice to meet you.

[The Five-0 team successfully take down a serial arsonist]

Kathy:
You know, I spent the last two years of my life just existing. I think it's time to start living again.

Steve:
You know don't look back, okay? Just don't look back, whatever you do. You can't change the past. Trust me on that.

Steve:
Take, like, a domesticated canine, you put it in the wild. Okay, but a cat-- they never forgot how to hunt and kill.

Danny:
Well, I guess that's why you two get along then. That's why you like cats.

Steve:
Yeah.

[Steve microwaves an egg omelet cooked earlier]

Danny:
Aw, that smells disgusting, Steve. Who microwaves an omelet, huh?!

Steve:
The body needs protein. When you're not sleeping, it needs it even more. What is that? What are you doing?

Danny:
I'm doing a little, uh, quiz out of this book: uh, "how well you know your partner?". It asked me to list something you were very passionate about.

Steve:
Oh, yeah? What'd you write?

Danny:
Protein.

Danny:
[to Steve] I have seen you personally put yourself in every conceivable life-threatening situation without batting an eye, like it's nothing. But when it comes to talking about your feelings, forget about it, you'd rather chew cyanide.

Steve:
[to Danny] Look, man, I was raised differently than you, okay? I wasn't raised in a house with a supportive family encouraging me to share my feelings. And in your case, every feeling. The McGarrett men are a different breed. To them, showing emotion is like showing weakness, you know? I mean, it's stupid, but it's just the way it is.

[Danny and Max are at Grace's school for career day]

Danny:
So like, uh, like I said, our job is to uphold the laws of this great country. Without policemen, without policewomen, uh, there'd be no order. And order is, um it's the backbone to any civilized society. And, yes, I like doughnuts very much. If anybody has any questions, uh, please, you can ask them now. [points at a boy raising his hand] Yes.

Boy:
What's it like cutting up dead people?

Danny:
I don't do that.

Boy:
[refers to Max] I was asking him.

Max:
The vivisection of a once-living organism as a scientific necessity can be quite rewarding if it yields forensic results.

Boy':
Is it yucky?

Max:
Quite the opposite. Thank you for asking.

[at an HPD Internal Affairs safe house, Gabriel Waincroft talks to IA official Rex Coughlin about the $5.5 million he gave Chin to add to Danny's ransom for his brother]

Rex Coughlin:
That's a lot of money for a change of scenery.

Waincroft:
True, but being the brother-in-law of a cop didn't make me very popular in Halawa. So what it came down to was that money or my life.

Coughlin:
And you'll testify to that?

Waincroft:
And see that hypocrite go to jail? Absolutely. But you're gonna need to sweeten the deal.

Coughlin:
I'm listening.

Waincroft:
I want a sentence reduction.

Coughlin:
You're a cop killer. That's not gonna happen.

Waincroft:
Then I guess you won't be getting Chin Ho Kelly.

Coughlin:
I can try to get you a commuted sentence. Submit a petition to the governor.

Waincroft:
I have a better chance of winning the lottery.

Coughlin:
How does minimum security sound?

Waincroft:
Not good enough.

Coughlin:
That's all I got.

Waincroft:
I want that in writing.

Coughlin:
I'll have it drawn up.

[Steve and the team head to Colombia to assault a refinery where Marco Reyes' cocaine stash is located. One of Joe's contacts will use a vintage Super Stallion to fly them there]

Kono:
What's with you and salvage?

Frank Bama:
Kid, this is a perfectly good example of vintage aviation.

Lou Grover:
Uh-uh. It's a washing machine with propellers.

Frank:
Big man, you're not exactly paying top dollar here. In fact, you're not paying anything at all. So if I were you, I'd grab a double-wide seat and keep a bag handy.

Lou:
Hang on a second. I know this old hippie didn't just call me fat.

[Steve and Joe corner the US Marshal who arranged Danny's voluntary extradition to Colombia]

Sam Alexander:
You like to make a dramatic entrance, don't you?

Steve McGarrett:
Yeah, well, uh, we found your coke.

Alexander:
Where is it?

Steve:
Well, it's gone.

Alexander:
What do you mean, gone?

Steve:
I mean, uh, we destroyed it. [shows phone cam footage of the team burning the coke stash]

Alexander:
You realize you just signed your friend's death warrant, right?

Steve:
I don't think so. You see, at the same location, we didn't just find the drugs. We found Reyes' books. [shows USB drive] This, right here, is everything to do with Sandpiper. Including all the payoff accounts. Hey, see, Marco Reyes was, uh, he was paying money to a bunch of different people-- various Colombian generals, politicians, government officials - and one American.

Joe White:
You.

Steve:
You never cared about justice; you never cared about the law. All you wanted was your piece of the action.

Alexander:
You are meddling in international affairs, Commander.

Joe:
Just shut up and listen.

Steve:
This is what's gonna happen. You're gonna have Detective Williams returned to U.S. soil with all charges dropped. And the second his plane touches down in Oahu, you're gonna resign, you're gonna collect your pension, and then you're gonna disappear. And if you don't, this gets released.

Odell:
[as he is cutting Steve's hair] The barbershop is an important social institution in this country. It's a community gathering place. Oh, my customers-- they come here, they hang out, they talk story. No one's ever in a hurry to leave, and you know why? It's one of the last bastions where a man can truly unplug from the world. You know, even if it's just for a trim and a shave.

[Odell is frantically making a molotov cocktail to deter the gunman]

Steve:
So you're a barber, you're a lawyer, and you're an explosives expert?

Odell:
Yeah, my Grandpa Jack was a barber stationed in England during World War II. Uncle Sam liked the boys cleaned up before heading to the front lines. He was assigned to the Combat Demolition Unit. One of his regulars taught him how to make a Molotov Cocktail using hair dye and aftershave. Jack always said, "A piece of knowledge is better than a good tip."

Steve:
Good thing you were paying attention, huh?

Odell:
There we go. Done. [to Steve, seriously] I'm a pacifist.

[Danny and assistant medical examiner Dr. Mindy Shaw are stuck in the elevator with the deceased victim.]

Danny:
I've heard of stories of people getting stuck in elevators for days-- days.

Dr. Shaw:
I really don't think that's gonna happen.

Danny:
My cell phone doesn't work, your cell phone doesn't work, the alarm doesn't work. Okay? No one's coming to look at office space because this guy, the office manager, is dead. We have got to be proactive.

Dr. Shaw:
Or we can conserve energy.

Danny:
We got no food, we got no water. Oxygen level in here is getting very low.

Dr. Shaw:
There's plenty of oxygen.

[Danny is hyperventilating due to his claustrophobia]

Dr. Shaw:
Listen to me. Everything is gonna be okay.

Danny:
Yeah?

Dr. Shaw:
Okay, right now, neurotransmitters in your brain have sent the wrong signal Uh-huh? activating your sympathetic nervous system. You just need to ride this out until your parasympathetic nervous system can restore your body to a normal state. That's good.

Danny:
Can you do me a favor and speak English, please? Okay.

Dr. Shaw:
Your body is lying to you. It's telling you you're in danger, but you're not.

Danny:
You're not. So it's like a glitch.

Dr. Shaw:
Exactly! It's a glitch.

Danny:
Uh-huh.

Dr. Shaw:
That's all. Just a glitch. There's no danger.

Danny:
No danger.

Dr. Shaw:
There's no there's no threat, okay? You're completely safe.

Danny:
Absolutely.

Dr. Shaw:
Now just breathe. Just relax. Breathe. There you go. You got it.

Danny:
Thank you.

Dr. Shaw:
You're welcome.

[The Five-0 team study the evidence from Diane's clothes and Lou still doubts that her husband killed her]

Chin Ho Kelly:
You know, Lou, a lot of guys in my old squad believed IA when they said I was a dirty cop. When I asked them why, they said it was just something they could feel. They went with their instinct, and they turned their back on me. But they were wrong.

Lou:
I'm not wrong.

Chin:
How can you be so sure?

Lou:
You know, one night when we were at the academy, one of our training officers busted me and Clay trying to sneak back on campus after lights out. Now, as violations go, it was pretty serious. Absolute grounds for expulsion. So the TO- he sits us down. Now, this guy was a human lie detector. Never met a suspect he couldn't break. So he says to us, "You two birds better have a damn good reason for breaking curfew. Otherwise, I'm shipping your sorry asses out on the next bus." Now the truth is: we were at a ball game. Went to a White Sox game. The thing goes extra innings, and now we're late. But Clay looked that TO right in the eye and without missing a beat, he says, "I'm sorry, sir. But my cousin he's shipping off in the morning to the Gulf for Desert Shield, and the kid's nervous. He's scared. So Lou and I just figured we'd just take the kid out, show him a good time, you know, get his mind off things. And that way, at least he gets a proper send-off, you know?" The TO looks into Clay's eyes, and after a couple of seconds, he says "Okay. Don't let it happen again." And that was that. I never seen anybody lie with such confidence, such conviction. If you would've hooked Clay up to a polygraph right then and there, I'm telling you, he would've passed it. But it ain't even so much the lying. Clay knew how to play on this man's emotions. This morning, I'm sitting on the bench outside the ME's office, and I'm listening to him tell me how this went down. And he's talking to me, and he's looking at me, and he's looking me right in the eye, and I'm going for it, until my wife shows up. And I get up and step back, and I watched him handle my wife. And that little voice popped into my head saying, "This guy is playing you." He did this. Now, I can't prove it, but I know. And I'm telling you, I know like I know whose name is on my driver's license! He did this. I know it.

[Grover is incensed that a close friend of his in the force may have killed his own wife and tries to insist on why would he do that]

Lou Grover:
Oldest reason in the world, brother. Oldest motive. Love. [shows a pic on Clay's cellphone] LeAnn Stockwell. One of your trainers at the gym. One you've been having an affair with for over a year. Aw, those photos? Yeah, these photos. The photos you took on your phone and deleted them. I got teenagers, man, and you know what my teenagers taught me about technology? Nothing gets deleted. Nothing ever goes away. I talked to LeAnn, Clay. She told me you wanted to leave your wife and be with her.

Clay Fields:
So, what, what? I'm-I'm a killer because I lied to some piece I had on the side? Is that's what you think?

Lou:
I think you wanted to start all over with some fine young thing that just adored Clay. Then you did the math. And you sure as hell didn't want to live your retirement out on half your pension in a small rented apartment on the South Side of Chicago. You know, I really don't even think it was the money. I know how much you love people thinking you're such a good guy. "Aw, that Clay-- he's a great guy! Stand-up guy!" You just didn't want anybody to know that you're the kind of guy who'd step out on his wife after 20 good years. I'm done with you.

Clay:
You know, that's a great story, Lou. The thing is you can't prove it.

Lou:
Not yet, but you're gonna spend the night in a cell. And I'm gonna spend the night on a plane back to Chicago, and I'm gonna talk to LeAnn in person. And then I'm gonna search your house. And I'm gonna search your car. And I'm gonna search your locker. And I'm gonna talk to your friends. I'm gonna talk to your neighbors. I'm gonna talk to your pastor. I'm gonna talk to everybody you know down to the guy who shines your shoes! And anything you think I can do to help you, Clay-- [gets closer to him] any favor I could call in, any length that I could go to, any power or influence I might have-- I'm gonna use all of that to lock your ass up! Smoke on that.

[Lou laments on the cold shoulders he got from his visit to Chicago PD]

Lou:
Well, look on a positive note, the trip was not a total bust. I did manage to score myself six deep-dish pies from Malnati's. Renee and the kids are about to welcome me home a hero.

Steve:
[looks at Lou] I'm sorry, did you say that you just flew ten hours straight with a bunch of pizzas in your suitcase? Is that what you said?

Lou:
[grins] You're damn right.

Steve:
[speechless] Mm.

Lou:
And today is your lucky day, because as a result of this unexpected, pleasant little pick-me-up at the airport, I'm gonna cut you in on a slice.

Steve:
Yeah, I'm, uh, I'm kind of a thin-crust guy myself, but thank you all the same.

Danny:
[sees Kono and Chin arriving at the crime scene] Hey. Welcome to the, uh, freak show. We got 17 Elvises, all of them potential suspects or witnesses.

Jerry:
Actually, the correct terminology is "Elvii." But you can also call them ETAs. Elvis Tribute Artists.

Barry Burns:
[relieved after being rescued by Steve and Danny] Oh, thank God. Thought I was gonna die in there.

Steve:
Like, a couple more hours, you probably would have.

Barry:
[glances at his ankle monitor] This thing saved my life.

Danny:
Oh, yeah? How's that?

Barry:
'Cause that-that maniac was gonna shoot me in the head, and I said, "Hey "the cops are gonna be alerted right away if this monitor stops registering a pulse."

Steve:
You know, it doesn't actually work like that, you know that, right? [Danny is laughing at the side]

Barry:
It doesn't? Good thing I didn't know that.

Lou:
Oh, Jerry, by the way, I've been meaning to ask you. You're not one of those nuts that thinks Elvis is still alive, are you?

Jerry:
Of course not. No sane person believes he is. Elvis died years ago. Almost as long as Paul McCartney.

Chin:
What? He's one of the two Beatles who actually is still alive.

Jerry:
Nope. Died in a car crash in '67. Replaced with a look-alike.

Kono:
One very talented look-alike.

Steve:
Come on, Jer, everybody knows that's an urban legend.

Jerry:
What?

Steve:
What "what"?

Jerry:
Have you listened to "Strawberry Fields"? The evidence is all there. John confessed.

Lou:
[deadpan] Oh sure. And I suppose Ringo shot Kennedy.

Lou:
I'll have a strawberry daiquiri.

Steve:
Did you say strawberry daiquiri?

Lou:
I'm comfortable with my manhood, brother.

Steve:
[chuckles] Oh, yes, you are. And deep dish pizzas, strawberry daiquiris. Man, you like the finer things in life.

Lou:
I'm a connoisseur.

Jerry:
You know how many dead bodies I saw before I started hanging out with Five-O? That would be none. Nada. Zero. And the fun doesn't stop there. I mean, let's not forget being accused of robbery, being abducted, having my life's work stolen, and, oh, yeah, then there's that Chinese spy who broke into my house and tried to off me.

Chin:
Yeah, we appreciate everything you've done for us, Jer.

Jerry:
So where's the love? The aloha? A badge would be nice.

[Danny is questioning a suspect]

Nolan:
We came over here for a boys' weekend, all right? You got to believe me, man, we're good guys.

Danny:
[laughs] "Good guys"? Good guys? You're a bunch of married, 40-year-old guys come all the way to Hawaii for spring break to hit on college girls. I mean, you must have very understanding wives.

[Chin and Jerry are watching a FBI television broadcast about their suspect, a fugitive wanted for trafficking]

Jerry:
I always thought these shows were scripted propaganda created by huge media conglomerates to brainwash the L.I.V.'s. [Chin looks at him blankly] Low-information viewers. They scare the unwitting public into demanding more police on the street and then use it as an excuse to raise taxes to feed the beast that is Uncle Sam.

[the gang sees off Kono on her solo wa'kaulua voyage, but her parents make it in time]

Kono Kalakaua:
Dad? [runs up to them] I didn't think you were coming.

Ke'ano Kalakaua:
You know she wouldn't have missed this for the world.

Chin Ho Kelly:
[to Dr. Shaw] Her mother had an aneurysm a few years back.

Ke'ano:
She's beautiful, isn't she?

Kono:
[kneels and faces her mother Nani] I'm doing it, Mom.

Ke'ano:
She's very proud of you.

Kono:
Malama pono.

Ke'ano:
Aloha Au Ia 'oe.

Kono:
[to Nani] Malama pono.

[Kawika blows his conch shell to signal her launch]

[former meth cook Maka'i Akana is stunned that his recently-arrested son plotted to kidnap him and force him to work again]

Maka'i Akana:
My son made up this threat to force me to cook again?

Chin Ho Kelly:
He called it his inheritance. That, as far as he was concerned, you were dead to him.

Maka'i:
So, what happens now?

Chin Ho:
Your son's gonna go to prison. You're gonna walk away from this with your parole intact, no more prison time.

Maka'i:
Doesn't really matter. [sighs] When I was in Halawa, there was only one reason to get out. Carter. That second chance kept me going. And now I've got nothing.

Chin Ho:
Maka'i, I know what it's like to have your family turn their back on you. Let me give you a little bit of advice. Keep moving forward, because you still have a shot at redemption. If not for your son, then for yourself. I'll get you out of here.

[flashback of young Kono practicing her surfing]

Nani Kalakaua:
You did good, ku'uipo.

Kono Kalakaua:
I fell.

Nani:
You're going to get knocked off your board many times, Kono. The only thing that matters is that you get back up.

Steve:
[glances at a glum-looking Danny] You do something wrong? What'd you do wrong?

Danny:
I don't know. I've been thinking about it. I'm wracking my brain. I can't figure it out. But Rachel's definitely upset about something.

Steve:
You think it's Amber-related?

Danny:
Melissa.

Steve:
Oh, that's official now?

Danny:
Well, yes, it is her name, so I think it's official.

[Danny's ex-wife Rachel tries to tell him that her son, Charlie, is suffering from HLH and needs one of his parents as a bone marrow transplant donor]

Danny:
Why are you telling me this? [catches on and looks at Charlie] That's my kid? [sees Grace staring at him] How long have you known this, Rachel? You've always known.

Rachel:
Danny, I...

Danny:
Why would keep something like this from me?

Rachel:
Because your life, from the chances that you take.

Danny:
The chances I take?

Rachel:
See, if anything ever happened to you, I didn't want two kids growing up without a father.

Danny:
You had no right to do that. You understand that? You had no right to keep that from me, that I got a son. [looks away despondently]

Rachel:
I know that you hate me right now, and I don't blame you for hating me, but I am telling you now. We have a son, and there is something wrong with him, something that could kill him. He needs our help.

Danny:
Okay. Okay, so what? So, what happens now?

Rachel:
You need to take a blood test. It won't take long, only a few minutes... 24 hours to get the results, and then the doctors can decide how to proceed from there.

Danny:
And then, they set everything up then?

Rachel:
Yes.

Danny:
What about Stan? What does he know?

Rachel:
He knows now.

[Danny and Steve discuss the situation with Rachel and Charlie]

Danny:
Do you know how many times that I've dropped Grace off? You know how many times I've picked her up, and that kid's been sitting in the room? Rachel, too, sitting there?

Steve:
Danny, no matter how misguided this was..

Danny:
(angry) Please, don't. Do not say anything that sticks up for this woman, okay? What she did is unforgivable, and that is the bottom line. And because of what she did, I missed out three years of this kid's life. Huh? What about that?

Steve:
(bringing Danny back from his anger) So what happens now?

Danny:
Now. Now, I.. I take care of the kid. (frustrated) But Rachel - I don't know what I'm gonna do. No way I get past this.

Steve:
You're right, man.

Danny:
I know I'm right. Thank you.

Steve:
Do me a favor, listen to me for a second, all right? These feelings that you're having, this anger.. you got to put it aside, that's all I'm saying. (Danny turns his head to listen) How many decisions are you guys gonna have to make, from here on in? And you and Rachel, you got to make the decisions together. Danny, it's not gonna do Charlie any good having his parents fighting. That's all I'm trying to say.

Danny:
I know that. You're right.

Steve:
All right?

Steve:
Sir, please. I understand wanting vengeance. I swear to you, I do- but killing Pelham, it'll feel good for a moment, but that's it. Now, we got enough evidence to put this bastard away. I want him in a prison cell, sir, not you.

Mr. Leddy:
What makes you think I'm going to prison? When you get here, you're gonna find two bodies.

Steve:
Think about Jenny. Would she really want this? You're not a killer.

[Chin confronts Adam Noshimuri over meeting Yakuza oyabun Goro Shioma]

Chin Ho Kelly:
It's a one-way plane ticket to Tokyo. Leaves tonight. If your relationship with Shioma is so complicated that you can't explain it, I can't let you marry my cousin tomorrow.

Adam Noshimuri:
[sets aside ticket] I'm not going anywhere, Chin.

Chin:
Then you better convince me why I should let you stay.

Adam:
[sighs] Okay. Goro Shioma was my father's mentor. They were as close as brothers. When my father started his business, Goro was the one who staked him the money to get it off the ground. He's made millions off that initial investment and continues to. Look, you don't just walk away from someone like Goro. It had to be done the right way - face to face.

Chin:
So what happened?

Adam:
I offered to buy him out, but he wouldn't accept. Said the only way out was to leave the same way my father came into the business. With nothing.

Chin:
Adam, are you really willing to give up all of this for Kono?

Adam:
[chuckles] Yeah, Chin. You know your cousin. She was never one for material things anyway.

Max:
Good morning. I have a tuxedo fitting, so I'll be making this quick.

Danny:
Oh, what are you doing? You doing powder blue, or, uh, crushed velvet?

Max:
While both are valid choices, I will be attending Kono's wedding in a more traditional palette.

Danny:
Pea soup green?

Max:
Unlike you, Detective Williams, I have no insecurities when it comes to bold colors.

Danny:
Insecurities?

Steve:
He's right-- you hate color.

Danny:
I hate color? I don't hate color. I like color very much.

[Steve and Danny are discussing the case when Catherine walks in wearing her dress]

Catherine:
Hey.

Steve:
[looks Catherine up and down] Wow.

Catherine:
So, you approve?

Danny:
Yeah, no, I think, I think what, uh, my ape-like friend meant to say is that you look, uh, fantastic, right?

Steve:
[grins] Wow.

Danny:
He said it again. All right. Well, I'm gonna let you two talk. And maybe he'll come up with more than one syllable.

[Steve and Danny are interrogating Josh Bennett to find out where the warhead is]

Bennett:
You remember where you were when 9/11 happened? Remember what followed? Cause and effect, Commander. We had a chance to neutralize the threat, but we took our boot from off of their throats and now we don't feel safe anywhere. Airplanes, movie theaters, shopping malls... How are we supposed to raise our children in a country when they're constantly looking over their shoulder?

Steve:
So what are you gonna do? Kill thousands of innocent people to make that point?

Bennett:
It's a small price to pay to ensure the future of this country. Think of all the lives that were lost before Roosevelt finally got us into World War II. And that all started right here, on this island, at Pearl Harbor. What's done is done. By this time tomorrow, we'll be dropping bombs all over the Middle East. Only this time, we're not gonna stop until we turn that place into a parking lot. [Steve is speechless and walks away in anger]

Danny:
You know what? The military was right. You are insane. Okay? You're insane.

Bennett:
That's been said about a lot of great patriots who had the courage to stand up for what they believe in.

[Steve and Danny are flying out to release a W80 warhead underwater]

Danny:
Fantastic. Well, I guess the good news is that dying would be better than looking at your bald head for the rest of my life.

Steve:
What are you rambling about?

Danny:
I got a nuke at my foot, okay? What am I rambling about? If we don't die, which is a gigantic if, I'm gonna be microwaving eggs with my finger, okay?

Steve:
Nobody's gonna die, Danny.

Danny:
Oh, really? Look, it's, uh, it's Dr. Strangelove-- he's back. Aren't you the one who said that residual radiation is-is not so bad, but it's the direct contact that is?

Steve:
No, I didn't say that exactly.

Danny:
Oh, well, you implied it. You basically said ...

Steve:
Listen to me, just listen to me.

Danny:
that I'm standing on the thing.

Steve:
Listen to me, all right? One kid is one thing, Danny, but two kids is something else, all right? And g-guess what, you got two kids now. You got two kids now, and one of them needs you to go home and do something really important for him, all right? So you don't get to die today, even though it would make my life a lot quieter.