Wikidude's Quotes Page #262

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Frank:
Lunch at one?

Geraldine:
Can we have it just a little bit earlier?

Frank:
Like when?

Geraldine:
Like in about five minutes.

The Vicar of Dibley, Season 1  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

(Geraldine has eaten three Christmas dinners and is at home, exhausted. The doorbell rings.)

Geraldine:
I swear, if these are Jehovah's Witnesses I'm joining. Anything to get out of this village! You try to be nice to people, they turn you into the EC turkey mountain.

The Vicar of Dibley, Season 1  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Frank:
Isn't there something we can do to help? After all, we are the three wise men.

The Vicar of Dibley, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Jim:
No, no, no, we are the kings.

The Vicar of Dibley, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Jim:
Most kings are brain-dead, inbred cretins.

The Vicar of Dibley, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Geraldine:
This Christmas is quite special this year.

Jim:
Is Carry On Camping going to be on the telly?

Geraldine:
No, no!

Owen:
Is Jesus coming back to get rid of all the bad in this sick world?

Geraldine:
Not that either, although it would be good to have someone new presenting Songs of Praise! But no, the reason that this year is special to me is that it is my tenth year in Dibley.

Frank:
Here is a woman, who could have done anything. Gone anywhere! And yet you have chosen to waste the best ten years of your life stuck with us morons!

Geraldine:
... Yeah. Thanks for that!

The Vicar of Dibley, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

[Geraldine is drunk in front of her parishioners]

Geraldine:
[To woman in the crowd] Hello you! I haven't told anyone about your boob job!

[Winks at her, then looks at David]

Geraldine:
And you! You think no one notices that you're.. bald. I mean everyone is looking at you, and thinking "My goodness. Why does this man have a massive egg for a head". CRACK ON!

The Vicar of Dibley, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Geraldine:
[Geraldine giving her Christmas sermon while heavily drunk] On this day, many many years ago, a child was born. And his name was ummm... his name was... gosh, I know this... it's in that book. Ummm... [looks at Alice for answer].

Alice:
[Whispers, trying to hint the name] J.

Geraldine:
Jeremy! No, that's not it.

Alice:
[Whispers louder than before] J-esus.

Geraldine:
Jesus - no that's not right either. Doesn't matter, what's in a name? Important thing is... he was a very, very nice guy... apparently. (laughs) Two important things to remember about him. ONE, he loved all of us and he had a nice fluffy beard , and three, two, one - THUNDERBIRDS ARE GO!!! [She collapses and falls off the pulpit. The congregation applauds].

The Vicar of Dibley, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Owen:
[Reading his letter to the Prime Minister] Dear Prime Minister...

Geraldine:
Good Start!

Owen:
Listen up, you stupid P**ck...

Geraldine:
Smell a tiny problem there...

Owen:
Yes, well, I thought he must get a lot of letters and that I should grab his attention right from the beginning.

Geraldine:
Yeah, good point, I think that might be a little bit counter-productive, but let's see how we continue...

Owen:
Dear Prime Minister, listen up, you stupid P**ck...

Geraldine:
Yes...

Owen:
Yours sincerely, Owen Newitt.

The Vicar of Dibley, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Alice:
I'm reading that fantistic new book from the bible!

Geraldine:
[Hesitates] ...What new book from the bible?

Alice:
The Da Vinci Code

The Vicar of Dibley, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Harry:
[moves a large box] Sorry it's a bit of a mess. I just moved out of a student big flat in London it's gonna be a bit of a squeeze squeezing it all in so uh, well if you see anything you like the look of just steal it I'll never know.

Alice:
Really?

Geraldine:
[to Alice] No, not really.

Harry:
Oh, I'm Harry by the way. Sorry. All over the shop today.

Geraldine:
[shaking Harry's hand] Oh, right and I'm Geraldine. I just live down the lane.

Harry:
Excellent.

Geraldine:
Yeah.

Alice:
And I'm Alice.

Harry:
[shakes her hand] Splendid! Well, what a surprise so I actually receive a visit from a neighbour. I lived on the same street in London for 15 whole years and the bell never rang once.

Alice:
Oh, we had a bell like that... We wired it wrong...

The Vicar of Dibley, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

David:
Yes well, there is one little thing: I brought along a bottle of champagne, because although she may not realize it, the Vicar last weekend did her 100th Wedding while she's been here.

[everyone cheers and David pops the cork off the bottle as Hugo brings glasses to the table]

Geraldine:
[surprised] Really? 100? Goodness me. So that's 100 happy-in-love brides and grooms and... and I'm always the Vicar... I'm never the bride...

[Geraldine starts to break down]

Geraldine:
I'm alw-I'm always in the cassack... I'm never in the lovely big white frocks...

[Geraldine starts crying]

David:
Somebody cheer her up.

Owen:
I'll marry you, Dollyknockers!

Geraldine:
Shut up!

The Vicar of Dibley, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Geraldine:
Everyone is welcome here in the bosom of my bosoms.

The Vicar of Dibley, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Geraldine:
[writing in a notebook] Right, so just her first and last name then.

Harry:
Well...

Geraldine:
Come on Harry. You shouldn't be marrying someone if you don't even know their name.

Harry:
[slowly] Well... obviously it's... Geraldine...

Geraldine:
[writing] Geraldine...

Harry:
Granger.

Geraldine:
[writing] Grange...

[Geraldine turns around]

Geraldine:
[shocked] Pardon?

Harry:
Geraldine Granger... I'm asking you to marry me, Geraldine Granger.

The Vicar of Dibley, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Geraldine:
What about-What about that other one you've been living with? Rosie the pretty one -

Harry:
-My sister?

Geraldine:
-WHAT?!

The Vicar of Dibley, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Geraldine:
Right, Owen, you said you'd delight and surprise us.

Owen:
Yes, I'm not so sure about the delight bit any longer.

Geraldine:
... right, well fire away.

Owen:

The Vicar of Dibley, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Geraldine:
So Frank, how many verses?

Frank:
108. It's quite a controversial thesis and it took a little bit of time to formulate my... peroration.

Geraldine:
Right, well, would you forgive us if we didn't hear all of the verses?

Frank:
I could drop 1 or 2 in the middle.

Geraldine:
Fire away!

Frank:

The Vicar of Dibley, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Geraldine:
You say it.

Alice:
Next.

Frank:
(walks away mumbling sadly)

The Vicar of Dibley, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Geraldine:
Can I just say, before you start, that all my hopes for this competition - indeed, all my hopes that after 10 years there is one shred of talent or sanity in this village are resting entirely upon you?

Jim:
No... No-no, no-no, no worries. I was trying to work out which bit of the nativity story was never done.

Geraldine:
Good.

Jim:
Then I realised... the actual birth.

Geraldine:
Bad. And so it goes?

Jim:

The Vicar of Dibley, Season 3  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Trampas:
"No need to push me, Mister. If you're planning on making a move, make it."

The Virginian  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Morgan Jones:
Bites kill you. The fever burns you out. But then after a while...you come back.

The Walking Dead, Season 1  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Rick Grimes:
What's the difference between men and women?

Shane Walsh:
Is this a joke?

Rick Grimes:
No, serious.

Shane Walsh:
Never met a woman who knew how to turn off a light. Born thinking the switch only goes one way: on. Come home, house all lit up, and my job, you see, apparently because my chromosomes happen to be different is that I gotta walk through that house and turn off every single light this chick left on.

Rick Grimes:
Is that right?

Shane Walsh:
Yeah, baby. Oh Reverend Shane is a-preachin' to ya now, boy. Then this same chick, mind ya, she'll bitch about, uh, Global Warming. This is where Reverend Shane wants to quote from the Guy Gospel and say, "Uh, darlin' maybe if you and every other pair of boobs on this planet could just figure out that the light switch, see, goes both ways, maybe we wouldn't have so much Global Warming?"

Rick Grimes:
You say that?

Shane Walsh:
The polite version. Still, that earns me this look of loathing you would not believe and that's when the Exorcist voice pops out "You sound just like my damn Father! Always yellin' about the power bill and tellin' me to turn off the damn lights!"

Rick Grimes:
What do you say to that?

Shane Walsh:
I know what I want to say. What I want to say, "Bitch, you mean to tell me you've been hearing this your entire life and you are still too damn stupid to learn how to turn off a switch?"

The Walking Dead, Season 1  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Trampas:
"The Virginian can track a rabbit all the way to St. Louis."

The Virginian  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Trampas:
Now wait a minute. What did you expect me to do, tie him to the horse? Well, you can be sure of one thing. Whatever happens, I'll be blamed for it. I tried. I tried!

The Virginian  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

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