Selina:
Who do you think you are? Gary Antoinette? Did somebody make you First Lady, because I don't remember marrying you, Gary! I don't remember fucking you in Niagara Falls! I think I'd remember that!
Gary:
Ma'am, I'm really sorry for the painting, and I'm really sorry for the spending, but you have to understand—
Selina:
Oh, shut up! Just shut up! You are unimportant! And you have suckered onto me like some sort of a car window Garfield!
Gary:
That is not true, ma'am.
Selina:
You think you're some sort of a big shot here? Oh, my God, you are not a big shot here, Gary! You're a middle-aged man who sanitizes my tweezers! God!
Gary:
You're wrong.
Selina:
Excuse me?!
Gary:
When's Catherine's birthday?
Selina:
June 8th—
Gary:
Ninth.
Selina:
Ninth!
Gary:
Which senator's daughter's in rehab?
Selina:
You're out of line, missy!
Gary:
Geldray. What are you wearing tomorrow?
Selina:
I don't know!
Gary:
I do, I'm your calendar, I'm your Google, I'm your Wilson the volleyball!
Selina:
No you're not!
Gary:
Yes I am!
Selina:
NO YOU'RE NOT!
Gary:
I have broken my body for you!
Selina:
Oh, come on.
Gary:
I've let myself be laughed at, I've let myself be humiliated, but I'm happy to do it! Most times, you don't even know that I exist, BUT I AM FUCKING EVERYTHING TO YOU!
Selina:
Oh, I am so happy to find somebody else to get me my hand cream!
Gary:
Okay, go!
Selina:
Yeah!
Gary:
Can you find somebody else who did what I did?!
[Long pause]
Selina:
You mean on Labor Day?
Gary:
I didn't say that.
Selina:
Yeah you did, you ju— you just said "Labor Day".
Gary:
I said I would never mention that ever.
