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[War plans have been made and flag officers are cracking open champagne and partying, supremely confident in their short victory over the Central Powers] Colonel Volkov: This one cannot get to the colors fast enough! [Partying is momentarily halted when the Tsar enters room. The flag officers stand at attention] Grand Duke Nicholas: Your Majesty, may I present the head of the Foreign Ministry, Minister Sazarov. Minister Sazarov: Gentlemen, at ten past seven, Germany declared war on Russia. Tsar Nicholas II: May God save Russia! Flag officers [in unison]: God save the Tsar! – Nicholas and Alexandra Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[First World War. Colonel Volkov is reviewing the Imperial Army, which has in its ranks every man it can acquire, from teenage boys barely finishing adolesence to white-bearded old men. Colonel Volkov's mood is significantly less cocky from the 1914 party when he believed it would be a short war] Colonel Volkov: The men have orders to be at the front lines by tonight. Do we have any horses or motor transport? Russian Major: No, sir. None are available. Colonel Volkov: Very well, they have to walk. Russian Major: Right face! [Russian soldiers turn to their right] Russian Major: Forward march! [The Major leads the soldiers in march towards combat zone. Colonel Volkov walks in opposite direction and reclines under a tree. He takes one last look at the sky as he unholsters his pistol, sticks it in his mouth, then squeezes the trigger] – Nicholas and Alexandra Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Empress Dowager Marie: You have to stop being out here on the front lines and get back to Tsarskoe Selo, where you belong! Rasputin is in Saint Petersburg, running it all into the ground! If you do not act now, we will be ruined and madmen will come! Tsar Nicholas II: What should I do? Empress Dowager Marie: Hang him! Send him to the gallows! I do not wish ill on any man, but so many Russians are going to die if you do not! Tsar Nicholas II: I cannot. Empress Dowager Marie: Then send him to Siberia! Get back home, send Alexandra to Livadia and take charge of everything! Tsar Nicholas II: Rasputin lives in Siberia. Besides, what am I to do when my son has a hemophilia attack and Sunny needs Rasputin's help? Empress Dowager Marie: Do you believe that? Do you honestly and seriously believe that? Millions of Russians are going to starve to death and be murdered, and all because you cannot say no to your wife! In that case I ask you, Nicholas, what can you do? Tsar Nicholas II: Just what I am doing. Empress Dowager Marie: I wish your father were still alive. He would know what to do! Tsar Nicholas II: Don't you dare throw him in my face! Empress Dowager Marie: Why shouldn't I? He would have burned Vienna down, bombarded the Germans, hung the rebels, shot the strikers, anything to give Russia peace! And he would certainly know what to do about Rasputin! Your father knew how to be a Tsar! – Nicholas and Alexandra Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[Members of the Duma are applauding and patting each other on the back to celebrate Rasputin's death] Duma Member #1: The beast is dead! Duma Member #2: His killers are heroes! Duma Member #3: Russia is saved! [The only members not hooting are Alexander Kerensky and another unnamed member, both of whom roll their eyes and give the impression of "don't party just yet". The ribaldry dies down and the Duma returns to talking shop. Kerensky has the floor] Alexander Kerensky: One madman has been eliminated and you guys are dancing in the aisles! The German Tsaritsa is still running the country. The Central Powers have been winning victory after victory. The Army is in disarray. One-third of our soldiers go without food, medicine or boots. Entire battalions are defecting! Agricultural production has been sapped and civilians lack meals. The Tsar needs to stop hiding with his troops at the front lines and get back to Saint Petersburg where he belongs. Chaos is coming to Russia, and he needs to be here to deal with it! – Nicholas and Alexandra Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
General Alexiev: Your Majesty, I have an urgent communique. A riot in Saint Petersburg! Tsar Nicholas II: Riot? This cannot be, we are at war! This must be some joke! General Alexiev: No joke, sire. Workers are on strike and people are raiding warehouses. The Army refuses to open fire on them. Tsar Nicholas II: Telegraph this to the Military Governor. All riots are to be stopped at once. Martial law is to be declared. The Duma is to be dissolved. I return to Saint Petersburg immediately. General Alexiev: I only hope there is someone in Saint Petersburg to read our orders. – Nicholas and Alexandra Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[The Tsar is having coffee with a medical officer; contemplating abdication] Tsar Nicholas II: Tell me, Dr. Federov, if my son, as the future Tsar, were to stay behind to be educated in Russia while my family traveled abroad, how much longer would he be likely to live? Doctor Federov: Deprived of your love and care, it is hard to say. There are no real statistics on this. It is a matter of luck and chance, Your Majesty. One could hope he could live a long and normal life, as we do for everyone. However, given my speculation on his medical issues, I would say...twenty would be a good age. – Nicholas and Alexandra Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[The tsar is teaching gardening to his children.] Tsar Nicholas II: In a few months, these will be turnips. Grand Duchess Anastasia: [giggling] They are carrots. Tsarevitch Alexei: And when they grow, will we still be around to eat them? – Nicholas and Alexandra Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Tsar Nicholas II: All we do is dream of England. We have been very happy there. Alexander Kerensky: England will not accept you. Tsar Nicholas II: Won't accept? King George is my cousin! Alexander Kerensky: He does not seem to want you, either. He has got his own station to worry about. Tsar Nicholas II: Yes, I must not make trouble for... Alexander Kerensky: Neither will the French. They are at war to save liberty. You were an autocrat. Tsar Nicholas II: Damn it! I am a father with a family! Is there not any way? How about Finland? It is only thirty miles away! Alexander Kerensky: I would never get you out of Saint Petersburg alive. Are you aware that I am all that stands between you and the block? You will be safe under my administration, you have my promise on that. There is blood enough on everybody's hands; I will not have yours on mine. A fine mess Russia in in. Treasury is empty. The Radicals want this, the Socialists want that, the Kadets want the other thing. The Bolsheviks want this, the Mensheviks want that. I could not throw them in jail even if I wanted to! You had power but no laws; I have laws but no power. Tsar Nicholas II: I wish I could help. Alexander Kerensky: You had your chances. I sure hope I get mine. – Nicholas and Alexandra Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
British Ambassador to Russia: Is Russia committed to the war effort? Alexander Kerensky: Indeed. French Ambassador to Russia: There is talk about Russians demanding Russia's withdrawal from the war. Alexander Kerensky: That is the mostly the Bolsheviks. But do not worry about that; the Bolsheviks only have six seats in the Duma, nobody takes them seriously. U.S. Ambassador to Russia: Washington is prepared to grant a loan of several hundred million rubles to aid your fledling government, but that is contingent upon Russia's military involvement. No war, no loan. [Kerensky is annoyed by the use of American taxpayers' money to sway Russian opinion] Alexander Kerensky: You cannot buy Russia! We will fight! But not to get your tax money. We have lost so much already. U.S. Ambassador to Russia: If I were you, I would put this Lenin quietly in jail. Alexander Kerensky: I cannot do that just because there has been a bad history in Russia about that sort of thing. It is has been far too easy for the leaders to throw people in jail. U.S. Ambassador to Russia: I have read his speeches. Surely you have to. Alexander Kerensky: I cannot throw a man in jail for what he thinks! Of all the people of the world, you Americans should understand that best! It is in your Bill of Rights. U.S. Ambassador to Russia: Lenin wants to overthrow the government by force. We Americans call that treason. – Nicholas and Alexandra Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[Royal family is being prepared for their exile into Siberia] Grand Duchess Marie: Look! I found Tobolsk on the map! Count Fredericks: Now remember, girls, you are princesses. You are to carry yourselves as such at all times. If I hear of any misbehavior, I shall be deeply upset. Grand Duchess Tatiana: Do not worry, Vladimir, we will be good. [Count Fredericks tries to put on a brave face as he is aware of the possible final fate of the Romanovs. The Tsar's daughters give him a group hug] Count Fredericks: Help Mama and Papa. Alexander Kerensky: I have assigned Colonel Koblinsky to watch over you until I can arrange for a way to safely exile you. His orders carry all the weight of mine. Tsaritsa Alexandra: Nicky, this is horrible! I want my clothes, I want my cosmetics, I want my jewelry! [The Tsar holds his wife and admonishes her to be strong] Tsar Nicholas II: Dear, those are only things. Things get broken, they get mislaid, they get dusty. The important fact is we have each other. Alexander Kerensky: Frau Romanova, you have kept your head. I recommend you show gratitude for that. – Nicholas and Alexandra Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[German Embassy to Switzerland. Lenin, who is handcuffed to a chair, is being interrogated by a German consul, who is reading a dossier] German Consul: Ah, let us see. Name: Vladimir Ilich Ulyanov. Born in Simbirsk in 1870. Attended the University of Kazan but was expelled for participating in anti-monarchist protests. Older brother hanged in 1887 for the attempted assination of the present Tsar's father. Married, no children. Does not smoke, and does not allow his colleagues to smoke either. [The Consul blows a ring of cigar smoke in Lenin's face] Lenin: The Tsar should have had your secret police. My party will make a study of your methods. German Consul: This dossier failed to mention your sense of humor. Let us stop and think of the absurdity of your idea. You want the German government, which is at war with Russia, to smuggle you into your native country which banished you, because you claim you can single-handedly end the war? Lenin: My government will immediately make peace with Berlin. German Consul: I never knew you had so much authority. Lenin: There is power just lying in the streets, up for grabs! Kerensky won't last, he is too busy continuing Russian involvement in the war and the people are desperate for peace! I shall give them peace. With Germany finished with the Eastern Front do you know how many regiments you could transfer to the Western Front? German Consul: And now you are asking me for classified information. A Marxist wanting to use the Kaiser? Are you aware that Germany has locked up more Bolsheviks than any other country in the world? But then again, war causes strange alliances. Perhaps the Kaiser...could use a Marxist. – Nicholas and Alexandra Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[October Revolution. Bolsheviks make plans to capture infrastructure and government buildings. Kerensky and his staff are trapped inside their boardroom] Alexander Kerensky: They captured the police station? Exactly how powerful are the Bolsheviks? Government Official: Quite. We made a serious mistake in heeding our allies and continuing the war. The citizenry wanted out of this war. Lenin offered them peace. Alexander Kerensky: What would it require to smash them? General Alexiev: One battalion, sir. But I do not know if I have that many soldiers. At least not ones I can trust. Russian Lieutenant: Look out the window! [Provisional Government peers out window to a nearby naval base where a cruiser is shining its lights directly on their building] Russian Lieutenant: The cruiser Aurora. And she has her guns aimed directly at us! – Nicholas and Alexandra Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[Duma. It is now entirely full of Bolsheviks and has been renamed the Politburo] Lenin: The Provisional Government has fallen! We now have power! At long last, we will build our new world order. [Freeze frame as Lenin's face changes into a bust and the Soviet anthem plays] – Nicholas and Alexandra Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Larry: [noticing that it's almost morning and sighs as Teddy approaches his inanimate horse and turns to face him] I guess this is it. Teddy: Indeed. And I know young Nick will do great things. Larry: Yeah, he's uh... Ready to take on the world all by himself. Teddy: Then you've done your job. You've done your job. It's time for your next adventure. Larry: [feeling uneasy] I have no idea what I'm gonna do tomorrow. Teddy: How exciting. Larry: [smiles sadly as he watches Teddy mount his horse] Bye, Teddy. Teddy: Farewell, Lawrence. [draws his sword; it looks as though he's gone dormant, and then shouts at Larry, who jumps, causing Teddy to laugh] Bully! Gotcha! [laughs] Smile, my boy. [looks out at the illuminated window] It's sunrise. [Larry looks at the window as Teddy returns to his usual pose, and looks back just in time to see Teddy go dormant permanently, marking the end of him and the other exhibits coming to life at night] – Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Mrs. Claypool: Mr. Driftwood, three months ago you promised to put me into society. In all that time, you've done nothing but draw a very handsome salary. Driftwood: You think that's nothing, huh? How many men do you suppose are drawing a handsome salary nowadays? Why, you can count them on the fingers of one hand, my good woman. Mrs. Claypool: I'm not your good woman! Driftwood: Don't say that, Mrs. Claypool. I don't care what your past has been. To me, you'll always be my good woman. Because I love you. There. I didn't mean to tell you, but you...you dragged it out of me. I love you. Mrs. Claypool: It's rather difficult to believe that when I find you dining with another woman. Driftwood: That woman? Do you know why I sat with her? Because she reminded me of you. Mrs. Claypool: Really? Driftwood: Of course, that's why I'm sitting here with you. Because you remind me of you. Your eyes, your throat, your lips! Everything about you reminds me of you. Except you. How do you account for that? If she figures that one out, she's good. Mrs. Claypool: Mr. Driftwood. I think we'd better keep everything on a business basis. Driftwood: How do you like that? Every time I get romantic with you, you want to talk business. I don't know, there's something about me that brings out the business in every woman. – A Night at the Opera Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Driftwood: Could he sail tomorrow? Fiorello: You pay him enough money, he could sail yesterday. How much you pay him? Driftwood: Well, I don't know... [muttering to himself] Let's see, a thousand dollars a night... I'm entitled to a small profit... How about ten dollars a night? Fiorello: Ten? Ten dolla— ha ha ha ha ha! I'll take it... Driftwood: All right, but remember, I get 10% for negotiating the deal. Fiorello: Yes, and I get 10% for being the manager. How much does that leave him? Driftwood: That leaves him— uh, $8.00. Fiorello: Eight dollars, huh? Well, he sends a five dollars home to his mother... Driftwood: Well, that leaves him $3.00. Fiorello: Can he live in New York on $3.00? Driftwood: Like a prince. Of course he won't be able to eat, but he can live like a prince. However, out of that $3.00, you know, he'll have to pay an income tax... Fiorello: Ah, there's income tax... Driftwood: ...there's a federal tax, and a state tax, and a city tax, and a street tax, and a sewer tax. Fiorello: How much does this come to? Driftwood: Well, I figure if he doesn't sing too often, he can break even. Fiorello: All right, we take it. – A Night at the Opera Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Fiorello: Hey, wait, wait. What does this say here, this thing here? Driftwood: Oh, that? Oh, that's the usual clause that's in every contract. That just says, uh, it says, uh, if any of the parties participating in this contract are shown not to be in their right mind, the entire agreement is automatically nullified. Fiorello: Well, I don't know... Driftwood: It's all right. That's, that's in every contract. That's, that's what they call a sanity clause. Fiorello: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! You can't fool me. There ain't no Sanity Clause! – A Night at the Opera Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Henderson: Hey, I think these fellows are phonies! Driftwood: What's that you say? Henderson: You heard me. Driftwood: Did you hear what he said? He said you boys are imposters and you absolutely don't belong here at all. Fiorello: Did he say that about us? I've never been so insulted! Driftwood: [to the Mayor] Do you hear what they say? They say they've never been so insulted in their life and they absolutely refuse to stay here! Mayor: No, no, please. He didn't mean it. Tell them he didn't mean it. Driftwood: [confers with the aviators] Of course, you know this means war! Mayor: [to Henderson] Now see what you've done! – A Night at the Opera Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Henderson: You remember me. I'm Henderson, plain-clothesman. Driftwood: You look more like an old-clothes man to me. Henderson: Oh! A wise guy, huh? Nice place. Driftwood: Well, it's comfortable. Henderson: You live here all alone? Driftwood: Yes. Just me and my memories. I'm practically a hermit. Henderson: Oh. A hermit. I notice the table's set for four. Driftwood: That's nothing; my alarm clock is set for eight. That doesn't prove a thing. – A Night at the Opera Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Henderson: Who are you talking to? Driftwood: I was talking to myself, and there's nothing you can do about it, I've had three of the best doctors in the East. Henderson: Well, I certainly heard somebody say something. Driftwood: Oh, it's sheer folly on your part. Henderson: What's this? Driftwood: Why, that's a fire escape. And, uh, that's a table, and this is a room, and there's the door leading out, and I wish you'd use it, I... I vant to be alone! Henderson: You'll be alone when I throw you in jail. Driftwood: Isn't there a song like that, Henderson...? Henderson: What became of that fourth bed? Driftwood: What are you referring to, Colonel? Henderson: The last time I was in this room, there were four beds here! Driftwood: Please! I'm not interested in your private life, Henderson. Henderson: Oh-h-h. [He barges into the living room] Say! What's that bed doing here? Driftwood: I don't see it doing anything. Henderson: There's something funny goin' on around here, but I'll get to the bottom of it. [going back to the bedroom] Hey, you! Driftwood: Coming! Henderson: Am I crazy, or are there only two beds here? Driftwood: Now, which question do you want me to answer first, Henderson? – A Night at the Opera Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Craig: So hey, let me ask you something. How long have we been friends? Steve: All seven years of high-school. Doug: Yeah, at least. Craig: That's why I gotta be real with you right now and I’m not going to sugarcoat it. Look this is aprofessional trainer, guys, I'm a little worried about your triceps. i mean you guys aren’t going all the way down and it's called full extention. And I'm not seeing it. Doug: Craig, you're right. We actually had a long talk about that the other night. Steve: Looong taaalk. Craig: I just don't want you guys to cheat on yourselves. And I'm sorry to come down here like this but ... pfff ... in a weird way it's my job. Steve: Hey, that's why we love you and we hate you. Craig: So, still friends? Doug and Steve: You know it! Craig: I'm glad we had this talk. – A Night at the Roxbury Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Doug: About the store? You sit around thinking about the store? You're supposed to be thinking about ... (sees two hot ladies) Hey what's up? (to the ladies) Steve: You want some of this? Doug: Or a little of that? – A Night at the Roxbury Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Doug: Why go out for burgers when you have steak at home? Steve: You're right, we should go out for lunch after this. – A Night at the Roxbury Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Bouncer: Nobody gets in unless they talk to the list. Doug: We're on the list. Bouncer: Name? Steve: Steve and Doug Butabi. Bouncer: You're brothers? Doug: No...? Steve: YES. Doug: Man, works every time. Bouncer: That's very funny. Steve: Yea, Doug's hilarious. – A Night at the Roxbury Movie Quote	added 5 years ago

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