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Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

[Monique, Phileas and Passepartout are disguised as women in India]

Phileas Fogg:
I feel faint.

Monique La Roche:
Phileas, women are not that weak.

Phileas Fogg:
No, but I am.

Around the World in 80 Days  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Chained Agent:
Give me the Jade Buddha!

Passepartout:
Okay, okay...What's Budd-air? [knocks the agent out]

Around the World in 80 Days  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Phileas:
They'll check all trains heading east. Even if we could make it to the coast, we can't sail into Singapore or even Hong Kong, as they're both British colonies.

Monique:
Does England own everything in Asia?

Passepartout:
Not China. Not yet.

Around the World in 80 Days  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Monique La Roche:
[just after Philieas has discovered the truth and is leaving] Don't let him go. He'll be lost by midnight. Go.

Phileas Fogg:
[outside, surrounded by thugs with swords to his neck as Passepartout finds him] More of your relatives, I suppose?

Around the World in 80 Days  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[A man is screaming in Chinese in the jail cell with Fogg, Passepartout and Monique who are also locked up]

Phillias Fogg:
What's he saying?

Passepartout:
He's saying "please let me go, I'm bored".

Phillias Fogg:
Why is he in prison?

[Passepartout asks the man the question in Chinese, The man replies in Chinese]

Passepartout:
Urinating in public.

Phillias Fogg:
Charming. At least he had the decency to be forthcoming about it. Is there anything you've told me that's even remotely true?

Passepartout:
I really can sing. [sings Frere Jacques]

Around the World in 80 Days  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Phileas Fogg:
Alms? Alms for the poor?

San Francisco Hobo:
Arms? You've already got arms. It's money you need.

Phileas Fogg:
Wonderful; I can't even scrounge properly.

Around the World in 80 Days  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Passepartout:
[in the warehouse, seeing the Statue of Liberty under construction] That's a big man.

Monique La Roche:
It is a lady. A French lady.

Phileas Fogg:
[turning to see General Fang and her henchmen] She looks like an evil Chinese warlord to me.

General Fang:
Your journey has caused quite a stir, Mr. Fogg. But I'm afraid it ends here.

Passepartout:
Leave them alone, Fang. This has nothing to do with them.

General Fang:
On the contrary, Lau Xing. Lord Kelvin and I have made new arrangements to conquer Lanzhou. Unfortunately for Mr. Fogg, they entail his... permanent detour.

Around the World in 80 Days  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Colonel Kitchener:
It's Inspector Fix! My goodness! He made it round the world before Fogg!

Inspector Fix:
[with a battle-weary voice] I came back from India the short way, you ninny!

Lord Kelvin:
I take it you don't have Phileas Fogg in that valise?

[Inspector Fix looks in his bag, then shakes his head]

Lord Kelvin:
A little Jade Buddha, perhaps?

[throws Inspector Fix out of the window with his luggage.]

Around the World in 80 Days  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Inspector Fix:
Out of me way! I used to be somebody important!

Lord Kelvin:
Should've thrown him through a higher window. [walks down to Fix and two more officers] Get rid of this buffoon!

Fix:
[fed up] Buffoon, eh? Is that the thanks I get for GOING HALFWAY AROUND THE WORLD TO STOP FOGG FOR YOU, EH?!!

[everyone gasps after hearing this]

Monique La Roche:
He also sent an evil Chinese warlord to kill Phileas Fogg!

Fix:
That's right! He did!

[Everyone gasps again]

Kelvin:
LIES! ALL OF IT!

[everyone scoffs at this]

Kelvin:
Kitchener!

Colonel Kitchener:
Yes?

Kelvin:
TELL THEM!

Kitchener:
Uh, well...the thing of it is–

Kelvin:
You mumbling moron! Salisbury, please translate Kitchener's incoherent blather.

Lord Salisbury:
I...he...I... Yes, yes.

Kelvin:
Rhodes!

Lord Rhodes:
Uh, the thing of it is, I don't want to make a fuss about it...

Kelvin:
YOU SPINELESS CRETINS!!

[Kightener, Salisbury and Rhodes are finally fed up with Kelvin's bullying nature]

Kitchener:
[steps forward] That man stuck me with quills! BUNCHES OF THEM!!

Salisbury:
YES! Lord Kelvin's a bully!

Rhodes:
It's true! I hate to admit it, but I'm a battered Lord.

[Everyone gasps again]

Kelvin:
[scoffs] Oh, boo-hoo! So what if I did try to kill Phileas Fogg? What are you gutless peons going to do about it?! I hold all the power! I run everything! So which of you halfwits is going to stop me?! You?! You?! You?!

Young girl:
The Queen!

Kelvin:
The Queen? [laughs] Oh, the Queen! That inbred, antiquated, old cow!

[Queen Victoria shows up behind him, looking unamused.]

Kelvin:
The only way she could stop me is if she sat on me! With her big, fat, royal bottom! [laughs again, then looks nervous] She's behind me, isn't she? [turns around and bows] Your Majesty, I have just apprehended the culprits who robbed the Bank of England.

Monique La Roche:
[outraged] No, majesty, no!

Inspector Fix:
[outraged] Rubbish!

[Everyone starts protesting.]

Queen Victoria:
QUIET!

[Everyone stops.]

Queen Victoria:
I love being able to do that. So, Lord Kelvin: unsportsmanlike conduct, attempted murder...trading my arsenal for Buddhas.

Kelvin:
How did you know about that?

[The Queen looks up and winks. One of Kelvin's aides, revealed to have snitched on him about his deal with General Fang, winks back and waves.]

Queen Victoria:
Admit it – you've been a very naughty boy, haven't you?

[Everyone nods while Kelvin shakes his head in fear.]

Kelvin:
Your Majesty, I assure you there is an explanation for all of this. What it was...I was...I was simply...

[runs away]

Queen Victoria:
[scoffs] Why do they always run? Arrest him!

[Kelvin runs into several Scotland Yard officers, who place him in a police wagon.]

Kelvin:
Get out of my way, you fools! UNHAND ME! DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I'll kill you!! I'LL HAVE YOU FOR THIS, FOGG!!!

[The wagon drives away]

Around the World in 80 Days  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Monique La Roche:
I'm sorry, Phileas.

Phileas Fogg:
Don't be, my cheri. I saw the world. I learnt of new cultures. I flew across an ocean. I wore women's clothing. [The crowd murmurs in amusement] Made a friend. [Passepartout smiles] Fell in love. [Monique smiles] Who cares if I lost a wager?

Queen Victoria:
I do! I've got 20 quid riding on you!

Phileas Fogg:
Your Majesty, it has gone 12 noon.

Queen Victoria:
[smiling] Correct. Which gives you 24 hours remaining.

Monique La Roche:
Could we have miscounted?

Passepartout:
No. I moved Mr. Fogg's watch ahead one hour as we passed each time zone.

Phileas Fogg:
The international date line. We set our watches forward at 24 time zones, so... here, it's still day 79.

Monique La Roche:
So we've...

Phileas Fogg:
[amazed and delighted] WE'VE WON!

Around the World in 80 Days  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Dr. Einstein:
At least people in plays act like they've got sense.

Mortimer:
Oh, you think so? Did you ever see anybody in a play act like they got any intelligence?

Dr. Einstein:
[agonizing] How can anybody be so stupid!

Arsenic and Old Lace  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Mortimer:
Yeah, yeah, I know that bromide. Something borrowed, something blue - old, new! Rice and old shoes, carry you over the threshold, Niagara Falls — all the silly tripe I've made fun of for years. Is this what I've come to? I can't go through with it. I won't marry you and that's that!

Elaine:
[adoring] Yes, Mortimer.

Mortimer:
What do you mean, "Yes, Mortimer"? Aren't you insulted? Aren't you going to cry? Aren't you going to make a scene?

Elaine:
[adoring] No, Mortimer.

Mortimer:
And don't "No, Mortimer" me either! Don't... Don't you see, marriage is a superstition, it... It's old-fashioned, it's... I... Ohhhh...

[He kisses her and hauls her into the marriage license office]

Arsenic and Old Lace  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Teddy Brewster:
I must be catching cold.

Abby Brewster:
No, dear, it was Reverend Harper who sneezed.

Arsenic and Old Lace  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[after finding the dead body in the window seat]

Mortimer:
But — what happened to him?

Martha:
[cheerfully] He died.

Arsenic and Old Lace  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Teddy:
Mr. Witherfork!

Mr. Witherspoon:
Spoon!

Mortimer:
[hands him spoon] Oh, here you go.

Arsenic and Old Lace  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Mortimer:
[Speaking of a character in a play he has seen] He just sits there waiting to be gagged and tied — the big dope! [Jonathan sneaks up from behind and bounds Mortimer up with rope and a mouth gag]

Dr. Einstein:
You know, you were right about that fellow. He wasn't very bright.

Arsenic and Old Lace  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Cab Driver:
I knew this would end up in the nuthouse.

Mr. Witherspoon:
[offended] We like to think of it as a rest home!

Arsenic and Old Lace  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Mortimer:
Teddy's killed a man, darlings!

Martha:
Oh, nonsense!

Mortimer:
But there's a body in the window seat.

Abby:
Yes, dear, we know.

Mortimer:
You know?

Martha:
Of course.

Abby:
Yes, but it has nothing to do with Teddy.

Mortimer:
But...but...

Abby:
Now, Mortimer, you just forget about it. Forget you ever saw the gentleman.

Mortimer:
Forget?!

Abby:
We never dreamed you'd peek.

Arsenic and Old Lace  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Jonathan:
Tonight, we are taking care of Mortimer. And just for him we'll have something special. I plan on using the Melbourne method.

Dr. Einstein:
[cringing] No! Not the Melbourne method, please! Two hours!

Arsenic and Old Lace  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Arthur:
Have you ever been on a yacht?

Linda:
No, is it wonderful?

Arthur:
It doesn't suck.

Arthur  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[in a department store, Arthur and Hobson see Linda putting a tie in her bag]

Arthur:
Hobson, did you see that?

Hobson:
Yes.

Arthur:
She stole that tie! It's the perfect crime; girls don't wear ties! Although some do; it's not a perfect crime, but it's a good crime.

Hobson:
Yes; if she murdered the ties it would be the perfect crime. Why are you so happy about all this?

Arthur  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Arthur:
He's taking the knife out of the cheese!

Linda:
Oh, my God!

Arthur:
Do you think he wants some cheese?

Linda:
No, I think we're gonna die!

Arthur  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

Simon Bishop:
Have you seen Verdell?

Melvin Udall:
What does he look like?

Simon Bishop:
My dog. You know, my dog with the adorable face? Don't you know what my dog looks like?

Melvin Udall:
Oh, I got it. You were talking about your dog. I thought it was the name of that colored man I've been seeing in the halls.

Simon Bishop:
Which color was that?

Melvin Udall:
Uh . . . like thick molasses, with a broad nose. Perfect for smelling trouble and prison food.

As Good as It Gets  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

[Frank Sachs knocks on Melvin Udall's door.]

Melvin Udall:
Oh, now I'm pissed! Now, I am really pissed!

[Melvin jerks his door back open. Frank immediately grabs Melvin by his shirt and jerks him forward.]

Melvin Udall:
Oh! Don't touch! Don't touch!

Frank Sachs:
Sh! Sh!

Melvin Udall:
Don't touch.

Frank Sachs:
Shut up!

Melvin Udall:
Don't.

Frank Sachs:
You think you can intimidate the whole world with your attitude, but you don't intimidate me. I grew up in hell, home boy! My grandmother had more attitude.

[Melvin calls for help.]

Melvin Udall:
Police! Donut-munching morons! Help me! Help me!

Frank Sachs:
[to Melvin Udall] Sh!

Melvin Udall:
Help me!

Frank Sachs:
[to Melvin Udall] Stop it! Sh!

Melvin Udall:
[to Frank Sachs] Assault and battery, and you're black!

Frank Sachs:
I like Simon! I like him enough to batter you unrecognizable if you verbally abuse him or so much as touch that dog again. Meantime, I'm gonna think of some way that you can make it up to him.

[He is suddenly loud.]

Frank Sachs:
I hate doing this! I'm an art dealer.

[There is a beat.]

Frank Sachs:
Have a nice day.

[He runs off.]

Frank Sachs:
Okay! Party!

As Good as It Gets  Movie Quote

added 5 years ago

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Who said: "Why don't you come up and see me sometime?"
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D Betty Boop