Wikidude's Quotes Page #5,732

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Champ: What's this? Wes: Well, well, well. Ron Burgundy and the Channel Four News team. Ron: Hello, Wes Mantooth. Hello, Evening News team. Wes: Hey, nice clothes, gentlemen. I didn't know that the Salvation Army was having a sale. [Wes and his news team laugh, and Wes flicks his cigarette at Ron.] Wes: Am I right? Am I right? Look at these guys! [They continue laughing.] Brick: Hey! Where did you get those clothes? At the toilet store? We: What are you doing on our station's turf, Burgundy? You're about to get a serious beat down. Champ: I will smash your face into a car windshield and then take your mother, Dorothy Mantooth, out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again! [Wes's colleagues are forced to restrain an enraged Wes while Brick restrains Champ. Ron puts himself between Champ and Wes] Wes: Dorothy Mantooth is a saint! You understand me? Dorothy Mantooth is a saint! Ron: Hey, leave the mothers out of this. All right? [Ron adjusts Champ's collar while Brian makes fighting motions at the Evening News team.] Ron: It's unnecessary. Besides, I'm sure Wes here is just upset about finishing second in the ratings again. [Brian winces.] Brian: Ooh! [He laughs.] Wes: That's completely uncalled for, Burgundy. You know those rating systems are flawed. They don't take in account houses that have, uh, more than two television sets and other - other things of that nature. Ron: I guess I have to take you at your word, number two. [Ron, Brian, Champ, and Brick laugh at this, and Brian holds up a number two sign on his hand.] Ron: You have a great day, fellas. We'll see you around the bend. [They walk off while Wes hits his news team's van.] Wes: Son of a bitch! Brian: Excusez-moi, numéro two. Wes: Hey, Burgundy. You know those sample audiences aren't big enough! Stop hiding behind those phony numbers, Burgundy! I'm coming after you! I hate you, Ron Burgundy. I hate you! [to his news team] Can't say - can't say one word? Even the guy who can't think says something! You just stand there? Come on! – Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[Champ walks up to Veronica Corningstone's desk.] Champ: Let me just grab this. [He pretends to grab a pencil but tries grabbing her breast instead.] Champ: Oh, sorry about that. Whammy. [He starts walking away.] Veronica: Hmm. Uh, Champ? Champ: Yeah? Veronica: You're trying to touch my breast, aren't you? Champ: What can I say? I like the way you're put together. What do you say we go out on a date? Have some chicken, maybe some sex. You know, see what happens? Veronica: Oh, let me get this over here. [She punches Champ in the groin, causing him to groan in pain.] Veronica: Oh, sorry. [She grabs a tape dispenser.] Veronica: There it is. – Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Ron: Let's go to Brian Fantana who's live on the scene with a Channel Four News exclusive. Brian? Brian: Panda Watch! The mood is tense. I have been on some serious, serious reports but nothing quite like this. I, uh, Ching King is inside right now. I tried to get an interview with him, but they said "No, you can't do that, he's a live bear, he will literally rip your face off." [to the Panda] Hey, you're making me look stupid. Get out here, panda jerk! Ron: Great story. Compelling and rich. Well, that's going to do it for all of us here at Channel Four News. You stay classy, San Diego. I'm Ron Burgundy? Ed: Damn it! Who typed a question mark on the teleprompter? For the last time, anything you put on that prompter, Burgundy will read! – Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Brian: Well, I'll give this little cookie an hour before we're doing the no-pants dance. [Brian and Ron.] Brian: Time to musk up. [He opens the door to reveal different types of colognes.] Ron: Wow. Never ceases to amaze me. [He laughs.] Ron: What cologne are you gonna go with? London Gentleman or . . . wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard's Delight? Brian: No. She gets a special cologne. It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries. Yep. It's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good. Ron: It's quite pungent. Brian: Oh yeah. Ron: It's a formidable scent. [He cringes while Brian daubs the cologne on his neck.] Ron: It stings the nostrils. [He laughs.] Ron: In a good way. Brian: Yeah. Ron: Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you. That smells like pure gasoline. Brian: They've done studies, you know? 60% of the time, it works every time. Ron: That doesn't make any sense. Brian: Well, let's go see if we can make this little kitty purr. [Brian growls, leaves the office, and approaches Veronica.] Brian: Hey, sweet cheeks. Got an invite I'd like to extend your way. Veronica: My God. What is that smell? Oh! Brian: That's the smell of desire, my lady. Veronica: God no, it smells like - like a used diaper filled with Indian food. Oh! Excuse me. Brian: You know, desire smells like that to some people. [Other people start reacting to the cologne.] News station employee: What is that? It smells like a turd covered in burnt hair! [Another woman passes by Brian and reacts in disgust.] Woman: It smells like Bigfoot's dick! [Almost all of the employees flee the office to avoid the smell, and a woman starts screaming. Brian looks at his watch.] Brian: Oh. [The smell is so strong that it sets off the fire alarm. Brian tries acting casual and walks away.] Brian: Oh, what's that smell, huh? [The scene cuts to Brian being jet-hosed in the parking lot.] Hoser: This is worse than the time the raccoon got in the copier! – Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[Brick makes a fake cough.] Brick: Cough. Look over here. Excuse me, Veronica. Veronica: Yes, what is it, Brick? Brick: I would like to extend to you, an invitation to the Pants Party. Veronica: Excuse me? Brick: The party, the pants, party with the pants? Veronica: Brick, are you saying that there is a party in your pants and that I'm invited? Brick: That's it. Veronica: Mm. Did Brian tell you to say this, Brick? Brick: No, yes, he did. Veronica: Okay. No, I don't want to go to a party in your pants. Brick: Very well. [He turns to Ian.] Brick: Ian! Would you like to go to a party in my pants? Ian: No, Brick. Brick: All right. Let's go! – Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Champ: [on Veronica Corningstone] I'm telling you, she is a real ball-buster. [Brian laughs.] Brian: A real ice queen. [Brick drinks some coffee.] Brick: Mm. I just burned my tongue. Ron: The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show. [He holds up his arms and kisses each one.] Ron: Let's see if she likes the goods. – Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Ron: I friggin' love you! Veronica: I friggin' love you back! – Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Ron: Look, the most glorious rainbow ever! Veronica: Oh, do me on it! – Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Ron: Veronica Corningstone and I had sex, and we are now in love! Did I say that loud? Brian: Yeah, you pretty much yelled it. Ron: Well, I don't care. It's fantastic! Champ: What's it like, Ron? Ron: The intimate times? Outta sight, my man! Brian: No, the other thing. Love. Brick: Yeah. What is that? – Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Brian: I think I was in love once. Ron: Really? What was her name? Brian: I don't remember. Ron: That's not a good start, but keep going. Brian: She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a K-Mart, and we made out for hours. Then, we parted ways, never to see each other again. Ron: Brian, I'm pretty sure that's not love. Brian: Damn it! Brick: I love carpet. [Ron nods understandingly.] Brick: I love desk. Ron: Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them? Brick: I love lamp. Ron: Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying that because you saw it? Brick: I- I love lamp! I love lamp. – Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Ron: You really want to know what love is? [Champ nods his head.] Champ: Yeah. Brian: Yes! Tell us! Brick: More than anything in the world, Ron! Ron: Well, it's really quite simple. It's kinda like... [He starts singing "Afternoon Delight".] Ron: "Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight, gonna grab some afternoon delight. My motto's always been 'when it's right, it's right', why wait until the middle of a cold dark night?" [Champ, Brian, and Brick join in.] Everyone: "When everything's a little clearer in the light of day. And, we know the night is always gonna be here anyway!" Brick and Brian: "Thinking of you's workin' up my appetite, looking forward to a little afternoon delight. Rubbing sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite, and the thought of loving you is getting so exciting, sky rockets in flight. Afternoon delight." [Ron stops singing.] Ron: You guys have it. [Everyone sings.] Everyone: "Afternoon delight!" [Champ, Brian, and Brick stop singing.] Champ: I dunno, Ron. That sounds kinda crazy. Brian: Sounds like you have mental problems, man. Brick: Yeah, you got mental problems, man. Brian: Yeah, it really does. Brick: Man. [Everyone sings.] Everyone: "Afternoon delight!" – Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Champ: The bottom line is you've been spending a lot of time with this lady, Ron. You're a member of the Channel Four News team. Ron: That's a given. That's a given. Champ: We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you. I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. [He laughs brokenly.] I miss your scent. I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together! Brian: Take it easy, Champ. Why don't you stop talking for a while? Ron: Yeah, sit the next couple plays out, if you know what I mean. – Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Motorcyclist: What do you love? Ron: I love poetry and a glass of scotch, and, of course, my friend Baxter here. Motorcyclist: Well, now, guess what, this is happening. [He grabs Baxter.] Ron: Excuse me, excuse me, what are you doing? [The motorcyclist punts Baxter over bridge.] Motorcyclist: That's how I roll! Ron: Baxter! [gasps.] NOOOOOOOO!!!! – Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Brian: Where are you, Ron? Ron: I'm in a glass case of emotion! – Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
[Veronica picks up the phone.] Veronica: Veronica Corningstone. Ron: Hello. This is your doctor. I have your pregnancy results here, and guess what? You, you got knocked up, so you should probably get out of news. Veronica: Who is this? Ron: This is Dr. Chim. Dr. Chim Richalds. Richalds. Veronica: Is this you, Ron? Ron: I'm a professional doctor. You saw me. You don't remember. You were drunk. You should - you should go, you should get out of news. Veronica: This is pathetic. Ron: You're pathetic. [He hangs up.] Champ: How'd it go? Ron: I think she bought it. – Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
BBC Anchor: Wait! Here's a headline for you: "Moronic Yank Wank-orman Gets a Bloody Good Hiding From Newsreader From a Superior Country." For we are the BBC News Service! [BBC news team shouts] Ron Burgundy: Oh, not now! Jack Lime: [To his news team] Fall back, fall back. [MTV news team rappels down] Wesley Jackson: If y'all gonna get down, then Wesley Jackson and the MTV news crew want in! Brian Fantana: What's "MTV"? Ron Burgundy: I think it's a venereal disease. Wesley Jackson: The most requested video of the day: A new band called "Burgundy sucking chest wound"! [MTV news team shouts] [Entertainment News team arrives on a dune buggy] Jill Jansen: It wouldn't be a battle without Jill Jansen... Wendy Van Peel: And Wendy Van Peel, from Entertainment News. BBC Anchor: Entertainment News is an abomination! Wendy Van Peel: Who are you wearing today? Oh, look, it's your own blood! Jill Jansen: Today's celebrity birthdays: None. Today's celebrity deaths: All you dick-licks! Brian Fantana: I like how they're put together. Champ Kind: I like fighting girls. Jill Jansen: I like to cunt-punt cowboys. Wendy Van Peel: You eat pussy? Jill Jansen: You're gonna. Scott Riles: HEEEEYYY! There's not gonna be any fight without Scott Riles and the incredibly polite Canadian News Team. [Canada News Team shouts] Quebec News Anchor: What about the French-speaking Quebec News? The real voice of Canada! Scott Riles: Give it a rest, eh? Champ Kind: Give me a break! They can't have news. Nothing happens in Canada! Scott Riles: We're gonna mop the floor with ya! We're gonna put the boots to ya! Sorry. Quebec News Anchor: Sorry. We're gonna gouge yer eyes out, and kick yer head in! Scott Riles and Quebec News Anchor: Sorry! Brick Tamland: ...I like your ginger ale! [ SportsCenter theme plays] Jeff Bullington: Jeff Bullington, ESPN, all sports. Tonight's Play of the Day is me, extracting your spine from your dead body! Brian Fantana: Holy shit, there's a lot of news! Ron Burgundy: It's true, the market has become saturated. History Network Host: Hey! The History Network wants in on this. We're news too! Only news told much, much later! [History Network team shouts] Ron Burgundy: Wait a minute, is that the ghost of Stonewall Jackson with you? History Network Host: Yes, it is. And the mighty minotaur! Jack Lime: Eh, I don't know about this, man. The minotaur isn't even history. It's mythology! Ron Burgundy: Hey, let's not downplay the fact that that's the ghost of Stonewall Jackson! Ghost of Stonewall Jackson: May the Lord anoint this hallowed field of battle. Mack Tannen: You guys got room in this battle for an old war horse? Ron Burgundy: Mack Tannen? What are you doing here, you're too old for this! Mack Tannen: Well, you see, there's the thing: When there's an early moon, I almost feel like a stallion again! Champ Kind: He's on our side, right Ron? [Tannen transforms into a werewolf] Ron Burgundy: He's a were-hyena! Wesley Jackson: I'm gonna call Michael Jackson, I got a video idea! Ron Burgundy: Alright, everyone, listen up! By virtue of being on this battlefield, there is no return! People will die! Jill Jansen: [Quietly] I'm so horny right now. Ron Burgundy: Some will be disfigured! In some cases, lasting friendships will be made! And as usual: No touching of the hair and face! Scott Riles: C'mon! What do we look like, rookies? Scott Riles and Quebec News anchor: Sorry. Ron Burgundy: When El Trousias, Maiden of the Clouds, blows the battle horn, let the battle begin! El Trousias: I am El Trousias! Hear my sirens song! [Blows her horn] Jeff Bullington: El Trousias...the juiciest, hmm! El Trousias: [Finishes blowing her horn]...That means you can start. – Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Ron Burgundy: Brick, what the hell is that? Brick Tamland: It's a gun...from the future. Wesley Jackson: No fair, he has a gun from the future! Ron Burgundy: Where did you get it from? – Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Bobbi Campbell: Well, you know, if the gay community doesn't start raising hell, do you think Reagan is going to do a damn thing? The Choreographer: I wish I had your courage. Bobbi Campbell: Courage... no. I'm scared to death. I just have this self-determination to live. Don't you? – And the Band Played On Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Eddie Papasano: Let me tell you people something, no matter what happens here today, if you try to close my joint, I 'll sue the ass off you. Dr. Don Francis: Doesn't it bother you knowing that the people who have sex in your bath-house are playing Russian roulette? Eddie Papasano: Please just cut out this bullshit. We're all in this for one thing: money. I make'em when the guys come in. You doctors, you make'em when they go out. – And the Band Played On Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Bobbi Campbell: Now for years and years and years people in my hometown were telling me I was a freak because of my sexual orientation, until I came to San Francisco, and I found a community of freaks just like me. We stood together. We stood together! And it took a long time. But we finally forced this one tiny spot of the universe, the Castro, to realize that how we choose to have sex, and where, is our own damn business. Which to all other people who haven't gone through what we've gone through sounds funny and they may laugh, but I know speaking for most of us, I would rather die as a human being than continue living as a freak. Dr. Mervyn Silverman: Clearly there's a lot of strong feeling on the subject... Voice in the crowd: What good is all the gay rights in the world if we are all dead? – And the Band Played On Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Blood Bank executive: Is the CDC seriously suggesting that the blood industry spends $100M a year to use the test for the wrong disease because we have a handful of transfusion fatalities and eight dead hemophiliacs? Dr. Don Francis: How many dead hemophiliacs do you need? How many people have to die to make it cost effecient for you people to do something about it? A hundred? A thousand? Give us a number so we won't annoy you again until the amount of money you begin spending on lawsuits make it more profitable for you to save people than to kill them. – And the Band Played On Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Dr. Robert Gallo: All right, explain one thing to me. Ten times ten times ten, my name is in every book ever written on the human retrovirus. Why would you get in bed with the French instead of me? Dr. Don Francis: Is it you against the French? I thought we were all against the virus. If you go to court now, everybody loses. You, the people who die while you quibble... Dr. Robert Gallo: [Interrupting] What do you want? Dr. Don Francis: I want to stop you from turning a holocaust into an international pissing contest! – And the Band Played On Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
(as Catch looks at Sharon) Sharon: What?! Catch: Oh, I was trying to picture you without your clothes on! Sharon: (surprised) Excuse me?! Catch: Oh, not like that; I mean I'm trying to picture you without your uniform, on your day off... with regular clothes. – Angel Eyes Movie Quote	added 5 years ago
Robby: So I take it your little date sucked? Sharon: I just don't have to tell my life story to a total stranger. "What do you do?" and "Where are you from?" It's endless. Robby: No, I think the problem was you didn't wanna clean his little bitty pipes too soon. Sharon: No, the problem is that all I wanted to do was clean his pipes. It was the conversation that was ticking me off. Robby: Well, baby girl, if it's servicing you need... Sharon: Shut the hell up. – Angel Eyes Movie Quote	added 5 years ago

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