Hacker:
Are you telling me Humphrey that the BES contract was won by bribery?
Sir Humphrey:
Oh Minister, I do wish you wouldn't use words like bribery.
Hacker:
What would you like me to say? Slush funds, sweeteners, brown envelopes?
Sir Humphrey:
Oh Minister these are extremely crude and unworthy expressions for what is no more than creative negotiation. It is the general practice.
Hacker:
You do realise what you're saying don’t you, Humphrey? I ratified that contract, didn’t I? In good faith!
Sir Humphrey:
Yes indeed, Minister.
Hacker:
And in that communiqué I issued to the press, I announced a British success won in a fair fight!
Sir Humphrey:
Mm, yes, I did wonder about that bit.
Hacker:
Now you're telling me it was got by bribery.
Sir Humphrey:
No, Minister.
Hacker:
Oh, it was not got by bribery?
Sir Humphrey:
That is not what I said.
Hacker:
What did you say?
Sir Humphrey:
I said I'm not telling you it was got by bribery.
Hacker:
Well how would you describe these payments?
Sir Humphrey:
How does the contract describe them you mean? Oh, well, that's really quite simple. Retainers, personal donations, special discounts. Miscellaneous outgoings, agents' fees, political contributions, management expenses.
Hacker:
And how are these payments made?
Sir Humphrey:
Well anything from a numbered account in a Swiss bank, to a fistful of used oncers slipped under the door of the gents.
