Ms. Bennett:
Do you recall a document shared on the J-drive titled "the Jonad Files?"
Dan:
Uh, no. No, ma'am.
Amy:
No. That doesn't ring a bell.
Ms. Bennett:
So it's not a word combining "Jonah" and "gonad?"
Dan:
Not to my knowledge.
Jonah:
I can confirm that that is exactly what it is and Mr. Egan knows that.
Mr. Rakes:
In fact, Mr. Egan, I was told that you encouraged staffers to add to this glossary of abuse.
Dan:
I do not at this moment in time recall the action nor the document in question.
Mr. Rakes:
Okay, maybe this will jog your memory. We have some extracts. "J-Rock, Jizzy Gillespie, Jack and the Giant Jackoff, Gaylien, Tinkerballs, Wadzilla, One Erection—"
Jonah:
Do we have to go through all of these?
Mr. Wallace:
I'm not sure that I see the relevance.
Mr. Rakes:
The witnesses claim they held their former colleague in high regard and I am attempting to prove otherwise.
Mr. Wallace:
Okay, yeah, sure. No, you can proceed.
Mr. Rakes:
"The Pointless Giant, The 60-Foot Virgin, Gimpanzee, Jonah Ono, Hagrid's Nutsack, Scrotum Pole, Transgenderformers, 12 Years a Slave to Jerking Off, Benedict Come In His Own Hand, Guyscraper, The Cloud Botherer, SupercalifragilisticexpialiDickCheese, Teenage Mutant Ninja Asshole, Spewbacca."
Jonah:
My college friends called me Tall McCartney. I preferred that, that's a good nickname.
