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Search results for 'love' Page #1,012

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Medurat Hashevet [2004]

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iZombie [2015]

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Strange Magic [2015]

[Susan has removed the lock from the bathroom door, and doesn't understand why Steve is so upset about it]

Susan:
Men and toilets, the love that dare not speak its name. What's that about?

Steve:
[slams hand down] We are men! Throughout history, we have always needed, in times of difficulty, to retreat to our caves. It so happens that in this modern age, our caves are fully plumbed. The toilet is, for us, the last bastion, the final refuge, the last few square feet of man-space left to us! Somewhere to sit, something to read, something to do, and who gives a damn about the smell? Because that, for us, is happiness. Because we are *men.* We are different. We have only one word for soap. We do not own candles. We have never seen anything of any value in a craft shop. We do not own magazines fill of pictures of celebrities with all their clothes *on*. When we have conversations, we actually take it in turns to talk! But we have not yet reached that level of earth-shattering boredom and inhuman despair that we would have a haircut *recreationally*. We don't know how to get excited about... really, *really* boring things, like ornaments, bath oil, the countryside, vases, small churches. I mean, we do not even know what, *what* in the name of God's *ass* is the purpose of pot-pourri! Looks like breakfast, smells like your auntie! Why do we need that? So please, in this strange and frightening world, allow us one last place to call our own. This toilet, this blessed pot, this... fortress of solitude. You girls, you may go to the bathroom in groups of two or more. Yet we do not pass comment. We do not make judgment. That is your choice. But we men will always walk the toilet mile... alone.

[audience applauds]

Susan:
Would you like me to put the lock back on the toilet door, dear?

Steve:
Would you mind?

Susan:
You should have asked.

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Coupling [2000]

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Bereavement [2010]

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Heroes [2006/II]

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Vibes [1988]

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Delocated [2008]

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Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman [1993]

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The Cult of... [2006]

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Hannah Montana [2006]

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Tom's Midnight Garden [1999]

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Great Canal Journeys [2014]

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Seinfeld [1989]

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Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman [1993]

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The Petrified Forest [1936]

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Phoenix Nights [2001]

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Rose and Maloney [2002]

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The Tube [2012]

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The Immortal [2000]

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Hung [2009]

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La otra conquista [1998]

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Queer as Folk [2000]

[Ted is explaining his idea for a new TV series which features twin brothers who are civil engineers]

Elliot Nichols:
You're on slightly shaky ground here, son. Who play the brothers?

Ted:
How do you mean?

Roland:
What actors are you proposing?

Ted:
Actors? I dunno. I haven't really thought about actors. The brothers' characters...

Phil Parish:
Ted, Ted, love, with respect, sod the characters. What you have to...

Ted:
But the whole story revolves around...

Roland:
Sod the story. Who are the stars? The big names.

Elliot Nichols:
That's the bottom line. If you want to get your series on TV, 1: get your stars; 2: make it about police, detectives or doctors. OK?

Phil Parish:
These twin brothers, Ted. Which one's gay?

Ted:
They've got girlfriends.

Roland:
Are *they* in the police?

Ted:
No.

Phil Parish:
And one of *them's* gay?

Ted:
No.

Roland:
It's no good for Channel 4, then.

Elliot Nichols:
So hang on. Let me get my head around this? Who's shagging who? Is one of the brothers shagging the other brother's bird?

Ted:
No, there is no shagging.

Roland:
No good for ITV, then. Or the BBC. Or Channel 4. Or Five.

Phil Parish:
[Phil's watch alarm bleeps] Ah. I better go. Busy busy. I hope that's helped.

Ted:
The brothers are building this bridge, right. You see the thing about this bridge is...

Roland:
Ted, TV is quizzes or cooking or gardening or DIY or drama. And drama! is either handcuffs or stethoscopes. Not about building bridg! es. Your idea's a bit too avant-garde.

Elliot Nichols:
And it'll still need stars, detectives and doctors.

Roland:
And shagging.

Elliot Nichols:
And shagging. Never underestimate the intelligence of the viewing public.

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Ready When You Are Mr. McGill [2003]

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