Search results for 'love' Page #946

[Col. Jessup chuckles while on the witness stand]

Kaffee:
Is this funny, sir?

Col. Jessup:
[face falls to a look of disgust] No, it isn't. It's tragic.

Kaffee:
Do you have an answer to the question, Colonel?

Col. Jessup:
Absolutely. My answer is I don't have the first damn clue. Maybe he was an early riser and liked to pack in the morning. And maybe he didn't have any friends. I'm an educated man, but I'm afraid I can't speak intelligently about the travel habits of William Santiago. What I do know is that he was set to leave the base at 0600. Now, are these the questions I was really called here to answer? Phone calls and foot lockers? Please tell me that you have something more, Lieutenant. These two Marines are on trial for their lives. Please tell me their lawyer hasn't pinned their hopes to a phone bill.

[Kaffee hesitates, dumbfounded]

Col. Jessup:
Do you have any more questions for me, Counselor?

Judge Randolph:
Lt. Kaffee? [pause] Lieutenant, do you have anything further for this witness?

[Jessup defiantly gets up to leave the courtroom]

Col. Jessup:
Thanks, Danny. I love Washington.

Kaffee:
Excuse me. I didn't dismiss you.

Col. Jessup:
I beg your pardon?

Kaffee:
I'm not through with my examination. Sit down.

Col. Jessup:
Colonel.

Kaffee:
What's that?

Col. Jessup:
I would appreciate it if he would address me as "Colonel" or "Sir." I believe I've earned it.

Judge Randolph:
Defense counsel will address the witness as "Colonel" or "Sir."

Col. Jessup:
[to Judge] I don't know what the hell kind of unit you're running here.

Judge Randolph:
And the witness will address this court as "Judge" or "Your Honor." I'm quite certain I've earned it. Take your seat, Colonel.

[Col. Mustard grabs Mrs. Peacock]

Col. Mustard:
But I love you! Does that count for nothing?

Mrs. Peacock:
It's not enough for me, Mike. There are richer fish in the sea, and I intend to catch one. Of course you can reapply... when you're rich.

[Col. Potter bids farewell to Hawkeye and B.J]

Col. Potter:
Well, boys, it would be hard to call what we've been through fun, but I'm sure glad we went through it together. You boys always managed to give me a good laugh, right when I needed it most. Never forget the time you dropped Winchester's drawers in the O.R. 'Course I had to pretend I was mad at you but, inside...

[emotionally]

Col. Potter:
I was laughin' to beat all Hell.

Hawkeye:
Yeah. I'm laughing just thinking about it.

B.J.:
I love a good laugh like this.

[Confident Nygma talks to Nervous Nygma over the death of Miss Kringle]

Edward Nygma:
[nervous Nygma] What are you doing here? I banished you for good.

Edward Nygma:
[confident Nygma] Almost. Love of a good woman and all of that. Though, we both know how that turned out. Yikes.

Edward Nygma:
[nervous Nygma] That was an accident. I'm not that man. I'm gonna make this right.

Edward Nygma:
[confident Nygma] See, I knew you'd wake up all boo-hooey. You probably have half a mind to turn yourself in. Luckily, I have the other half. You like magic tricks?

Edward Nygma:
[nervous Nygma] What?

Edward Nygma:
[confident Nygma] Of course you like magic tricks. After all, I do. Well, guess what? I can make a body disappear.

[confident Nygma gasps, as the nervous Nygma see's that Miss Kringle's body is gone]

[Connie comes into the office that she shares with Elliot]

Elliot Hope:
Connie. I've just got the email. It's not *true*, is it? I mean, why on earth would you... ?

Connie Beauchamp:
My dad - he needs my full attention. And I need a break.

Elliot Hope:
But your work. Everything. Darwin. We need you.

Connie Beauchamp:
I'm sure you'll find another bossy woman.

Elliot Hope:
Who are you going to find to give you fashion tips?

Connie Beauchamp:
Or financial advice.

Elliot Hope:
Or guidance on rearing children. Who's going to scatter your papers exactly as like them scattered?

[Connie is struggling to hold back tears]

Connie Beauchamp:
I'm really sorry if I behaved badly recently.

Elliot Hope:
I'm sorry. I have, of late, wherefore I know not, lost something of my mirth.

Connie Beauchamp:
I suppose the angina can't have helped.

Elliot Hope:
Oh the angina's fine.

Connie Beauchamp:
Do you not think you could do with a mid-cap?

Elliot Hope:
Possibly.

Connie Beauchamp:
I you keep it quiet, I'll do it for you.

Elliot Hope:
I would like to get back in the groove. Regain my mojo. D'you think it would work?

Connie Beauchamp:
Oh I think we'll get you through the assessment for occupational health. That's if you stick to the lifestyle changes.

[Connie points to a slice of cake. Elliot picks it up and eats it]

Elliot Hope:
Call me old-fashioned, but I love stollen. So did you stick it to him? Give him one from all of us?

Connie Beauchamp:
I insulted his height and listed his nicknames.

Elliot Hope:
So you took no prisoners, then!

[consoling a grieving Bannister]

Cally Oaks:
You know, my father used to say that the three primary colors of grief are despair, pain, and anger. But that it's the nature of crystals to scatter light so that in all of our grief there are other spectrums, other colors. Like the color Courage, the color Strength, and the color Love. He'd try and put physics over a sentence.

[continued from above conversation]

Mr. Jingle:
Watch his looks... his whispers. He'll sit next to her at table. He'll flatter her and cut you.

Rachel Wardle:
Cut me?

Mr. Jingle:
Dead... you'll see for yourself.

Rachel Wardle:
I will indeed!

Mr. Jingle:
You'll cast him out?

Rachel Wardle:
I will!

Rachel Wardle:
You'll take another?

Rachel Wardle:
Yes!

Mr. Jingle:
You shall. I shall be that man! A worship from first... devoted slave... in a torment... sleepless nights... fortune of my own... [examines the jewel on her finger] love you for yourself... death do us part... dare I hope.

Rachel Wardle:
Oh, Mr. Jingle. [she faints in his arms]

[Cora has put an end to Regina's love]

Cora:
You have to trust me, Regina. I know best. Love is weakness, Regina. It feels real now. At the start, it always does. But it's an illusion. It fades, and then you're left with nothing. But power - true power - endures. And then you don't have to rely on anyone to get what you want. I've saved you, my love.

[Corbett enters Dylan's room where Jeff is holding one of Dylan's shirts]

Corbett:
I'm sorry, daddy.

Jeff:
You know I love you, don't you?

Corbett:
Mm-hmm.

Jeff:
What do you think Mommy would say if she saw us like this?

Corbett:
I'm going to go get ready for school.

[Corbett leaves. Jeff puts the shirt in a closet and shuts the door, revealing a figure in a pig mask behind it]

[Flashback ends]

[Craig kisses Ellie]

Craig Manning:
I love you, Ellie.

Ellie Nash:
[delighted] I love you too.

Craig Manning:
So don't make me stop. Please. I need it. Don't call Joey.

[Ellie pushes Craig away]

Ellie Nash:
[furious] You bastard. How could, how could you play with me like that?

Craig Manning:
Ellie, I'm, I'm sorry. What do you want me to say?

Ellie Nash:
Nothing. It's all gonna be lies. You'll say whatever it takes to get your hands on this, won't you? God!

[Ellie leaves. Craig prepares another line of cocaine]

[Curzon has admitted his love for Jadzia]

Odo:
[as Curzon] So, now that you know, you can see that it's best for both of us that I stay here, in this body.

Lieutenant Jadzia Dax:
Why, because you loved me?

Odo:
Because I still love you.

Lieutenant Jadzia Dax:
There's no shame in that, Curzon.

Odo:
Yes, there is. And if we rejoin, you'll feel it too.

Lieutenant Jadzia Dax:
No, I won't. Because I love you. You're a part of me, and I want you back. That way Jadzia and Curzon can be together the way they should be. Through Dax.

[Cut back to the forest]

Chuckie Finster:
Do you think we'll still be able to find the lizard's house, Tommy?

Tommy Pickles:
Sure, Chuckie. Long as I got my sponsatility, we'll never be losted.

Phil DeVille:
Which way are we apposed to go?

Tommy:
[uses his watch to find his way] Um...uh...um...that way.

[The babies follow a trail. Time passes and a view shows the babies circling a large tree]

Chuckie Finster:
Hey, lookie, footprints. Maybe there's other babies around here.

Lil DeVille:
Those are our feetprints, Chuckie.

Phil DeVille:
You're leading us around and around, Tommy.

Tommy Pickles:
But it was working before.

Lil DeVille:
I don't think it ever worked. I think your sponsatility's broke, just like your brother.

Tommy Pickles:
My brother is not broke!

Lil DeVille:
He pulled the lever!

Phil DeVille:
He tried to send us into the big Jacuzzi!

Lil DeVille:
We could have been drowned.

Chucklie Finster:
[as he covers his ears to avoid the argument, he spots something and points in fear] Hey, you guys! Clow-clow...

Lil DeVille:
What is it, Chuckie?

Chuckie Finster:
CLOWN!! [points to a rail car with a clown's face painted on it]

Phil DeVille:
What's a train doing in the middle of the forest?

Lil DeVille:
Maybe some giant baby losted his choo-choo.

[The door of the rail car slowly opens. A figure, which looks like some sort of mysterious person, appears. In reality, it was actually 3 monkeys hiding underneath the clothes. From here on, a sense of mayhem prevails while Devo's "Witch Doctor" plays over]

Circus Monkeys:
[singing] Ooh, eek! Ooh-ahh-ahh! Ting, tang, walla walla bing bang! [4 more monkeys emerge from the top of the car. One of them is wearing a yellow hat, another is wearing a pink dress and carrying a parasol, and the 3rd monkey is an infant wearing a diaper] Ooh-ee! Ooh-ahh-ahh! Ting, tang, walla walla bing bang!

[The top monkey, the one with the starry hat, blows a raspberry. The babies try to run away, but found themselves surrounded by a circle of six monkeys]

Devo:
[singing] You want to learn something that I can teach to you. You want to know a secret that I swear is true. [a monkey holds onto Chuckie while another monkey, in a tree, pulls by its tail] Monkeys, we have more fun than humans ever do!

[The monkey swings from the tree and crashes through a picture of a palm tree. He, then, crashes back through the picture, banging on a drum. A compartment opens, with another monkey, with another drum. In that drum, yet another money with yet another drum exits, though this time, it's an upright snare drum. A fourth monkey burst through the top of that drum and "drums" on the 3rd monkey's head]

Circus Monkeys:
[singing] Ooh, eee, ooh ahh ahh! Ting, tang, walla walla bing bang! [a monkey takes Tommy away in a trike. 2 more monkeys, one of them with a bow on her head, walk on their hands while Phil and Lil ride on their feet. They crash down] Ooh, eee, ooh ahh ahh! Ting, tang walla walla bing bang!

[Chuckie and another monkey are up in a tree. The monkey steals his glasses, causing Chuckie to fall down. The monkey with a wizard's cap pulls put a pillow to catch Chuckie, but them pulls away. As Chuckie is about to crash, a monkey in a tree being held by its tail by another pulls Chuckie back up, tosses Chuckie up in the air, and lands in the arms of another monkey, which gave back Chuckie's glasses]

Devo:
[singing] We learn to climb and swing before we learn to run. We like to party and there's room for everyone. Come by and see if you really wanna have some fun.

[2 monkeys fight in front of the Reptar Wagon, they run away after Dil bonks them on the snout with his bottle]

Circus Monkeys:
[singing] Ooh, eee, ooh-ahh-ahh! Ting, tang, walla walla bing bang. [the parasol monkey parachutes off the top of the car, with her baby holding on. Phil and Lil follow with a skeleton of a parasol, but crashes] Ooh, eee, ooh ahh ahh! Ting, tang, walla walla bing bang!

[A monkey in a tree wearing tennis shoes peels bark from a branch and eats the bugs inside. 4 other monkeys line up behind him, eating the bugs off each other’s backs. Lil takes a bug off the 4th monkey's back, but Phil swipes it from her, then eats it. He licks his lips in satisfaction, much to Lil's annoyance. She scowls at him and he smiles at her]

Devo:
[singing] You'll never see us tired 'cause we're way too smart for workin'. A monkey knows a lot more than a man. [3 monkeys hold onto Chuckie as he dives down; his glasses land onto Dil's head. The monkey with a parasol swipes the glasses and Dil's bottle, and feeds it to a baby monkey] We love swinging in the trees and eating our bananas. Don't you know we never need a plan?

Dil Pickles:
Mine! Mine!

[Instrumental portion of song plays under while the Rugrats continue prancing with the monkeys. Tommy hops on one foot, until he hears and sees Dil crying]

Tommy Pickles:
What? What do you want?

Dil Pickles:
Hungry, hungry.

[Tommy goes to tend to Dil as the song continues; Chuckie slides to the ground off a monkey’s back and lands on the back of another monkey. The monkey rides Chuckie off somewhere]

Circus Monkeys:
[singing] Ooh, eee, ooh ahh ahh! Ting, tang, walla walla bing bang! Ooh, eee, ooh ahh ahh...

Tommy Pickles:
Oh, but I really wanna go play with the monkeys. [digs in the duffel bag, grunts, and opens a jar of banana baby food. He gives it to Dil]

[The monkeys catch a whiff of the banana aroma and smile]

Dil Pickles:
[eating the banana baby food] Hungry, hungry. Oh, boy. [giggles, and makes a mess of himself]

[Dil eats the banana baby food and makes a mess of himself. He licks the mashed bananas off himself. Tommy tosses the jar away and is about to get another one when 3 monkeys run across the Reptar Wagon. 2 of them steal the diaper bag, which Tommy attempts to tug back, but loses his grip. Many of the other monkeys follow]

Tommy Pickles:
Watch my brother! I gotta get the diapie bag! [leaves]

[2 monkeys start to lick Dil, who is now covered with creamed bananas]

Chuckie Finster:
Hey, leave him alone. He's not a nanner. [tries to pull Dil away from the monkeys] Oh, no! Hey, guys, help! There's a monkey who's trying to take Tommy's brother!

[The twins just stare]

Phil DeVille:
So?

Chuckie Finster:
Oh, just help me, okay? [to the monkeys] Don't touch my hair! Hey! [Dil flies into Phil and Lil's arms, but a monkey in a tree tries to steal him. Meanwhile, he tries to take his glasses back from the baby monkey]Let go!

Phil and Lil:
[mishearing] Okay. [both let go of Dil's legs. Lil shrugged to her twin brother]

[The monkey takes him away. The other monkeys follow. The baby monkey takes off Chuckie's glasses and tosses them to the ground]

Chuckie Finster:
[ambles around near him] Oh, this is just great. I tell you, it can't get any worser than, [accidentally steps on his glasses, cracking the lenses] this. [puts it back on]

Phil DeVille:
Well, at least the monkeys are gone.

Lil DeVille:
Yeah. And they took baby Dil with them.

[Chuckie gasps in horror and watches as the monkeys climb a tree with Dil]

[Cut to black, then fade to the exterior of the Pickles' house at night. Dil cries. Caption:
"Four O'Clock In the Morning"]

Stu Pickles:
[exhausted] Oh, for the love of Pete. What do you want from us? What? What? [lays on the floor with Dil]

[An American flag is waving on the TV. Didi looks in the Lipschitz book]

Didi Pickles:
Oh, there must be something in here we missed. Somewhere, somehow, something!

Stu Pickles:
There must be. Let me see here! [grabs the book from Didi and looks inside] Cats, colic, Creole baby food. Uh, oh yeah, here it is. Crying... [we skim the text of the book as he reads it. After the second "infant", we cut to his blood-shot eyes, then to an exhausted him and Didi on the couch] Although a baby's crying signifies a disruption in the infant-parent matrix, the good-enough parent pacifies the infant during this period of primary narcissism, foregoing their own needs, sublim-, sublimating, sublimating all their own needs too.

[Stu and Didi fall asleep. Dil stops crying, only to see a giant Dr. Lipschitz rotating up from behind the couch. Two babies, with books for wings, fly off of the doctor, as he is lit up. He starts to sing]

Dr. Lipschitz:
[singing] Raising a baby is a serious venture. [Stu and Didi "wake up"; one of the winged babies take away the Lipschitz book, while the other baby picks up Dil and takes him away] Not to be embarked upon by the faint of heart. [plops dunce caps on Stu and Didi] Parents must make choices that are perfect and wise, / For you're doing something wrong when the baby cries. [a book on top of a pile of books opens, and he picks up the couple and drops them into some sort of netherworld. In that world, Stu and Didi races up a "staircase" of books] You must consider, the psychology of an infant, [Stu and Didi then appear as small babies - Stu in diapers, and Didi all wrapped up, sucking on a pacifier] Nature vs. Nurture, / Feed the ego; starve the mind. [Twin Lipschitzes appear on either side of the crib. They embrace each other, then turn into a Rorschach print, which he holds, while sitting in a chair] You must anticipate each crisis sure to arise, / For you're doing something wrong when the baby cries. [a saw saws a hole underneath Stu & Didi, then, they fall through. They are picked up by a giant stork by its claws, holding him inside its beak, while flying with a flock of storks. Cut to a puppet theater, with puppeteer Lipschitz holding Stu and Didi puppets. Tommy and Dil snatch the puppets from him, and fight over them] Don't forget the older when attending to the younger, / Sibling rivalry can damage all of you. [the Pickles' house plops on top of them. As its walls bulge, Stu & Didi rush out with Dil, dodging falling giant baby items - rattle, baby bottle, safety pin] Be a mother, don't smother, / Why do you want a neurosis? [Dil grows unbelievably large, crushing Stu & Didi] Failure to oralise can lead to toilet training disturbances. [Dil's diaper bulges, then explodes. Cut to Stu, changing Dil's diaper. He pops out of a diaper pail, yelling] Wrong! [cut to Didi, rocking Tommy & Dil to sleep. They start to cry when he rolls up a window and shouts] Wrong![cut to Stu, strolling Dil with Tommy on his back. He looks with a magnifying glass, as Drew, Betty and Charlotte look on] Careful, now! [cut to Dil crying, in an auto carrier. Stu and Didi rush to his aid, when he, with Chaz, Lou and Howard looking on, opens the roof and says] No, no, no! Bad parents! Bad parents! [cut to Stu, Didi and Dil rushing through the city. The winged babies picked them up and flew them to a temple of justice. He appears as a "lawyer"] Raising a baby is a complicated venture. / Not to be embarked on by a weaker constitution. [then appears as a giant baby, standing on the table, between Dil and Tommy] It's really something different, from what we fantacise, / You are doing something wrong when the baby cries. [leaps to the couple. Then, he goes to a jury of Dils, which gives "thumbs down". The couple magically appears in prison garb, and a ball and chain] It's really very different, from what we fantacise, / You are doing something wrong when the baby...starts to...cry!

[Tommy plops a giant book on top of the couple. The dream ends, waking up the couple. They look at each other as Dil cries]

[Cut to exterior of the "Lipschitz Maternity Arts Building", 3 cars race to the front entrance. Cut to interior, looking at a bank of monitors with Dr. Lipschitz's image on each monitor]

Dr. Lipschitz:
[on monitors] Welcome to the Werner P. Lipschitz Center for Holistic Birthing, offering the modern parent the state of the art in primitive birth alternatives.

[While Lipschitz speaks, a statue with Lipschitz holding several babies comes into view. Then, cut to a board that displays the names of mothers giving birth, in a fashion of the "Arrivals" and "Delays" board at airports. The gang arrive at the reception desk]

Nurse:
Oh, Mrs. Pickles! You weren't due till next week, now, dear. Geez, well, I guess we could try and squeeze you in somewhere, huh?

Didi Pickles:
But Dr. Lipschitz promised us the all-natural Zen experience in the Tibetan terrace room!

Boris Kropotkin:
In my day, a woman just dropped her baby in the potato field and kept going.

Nurse:
Ah, yes, the old country room. [opens door to a room that has maternity equipment in a middle of a potato field, complete with cows and a farmer]

Didi Pickles:
Do you have anything a little cleaner?

Nurse:
Well, we could try the aquatic immersion room.

[The gang looks at a window of a tank that has fish, a sea turtle, dolphins, and ruins, plus the pre-requisite maternity gear. The new mother pictured is in scuba gear, while her doctor is in an old-fashioned sea diver's outfit]

Minka Kerpackter:
She's having a baby, not a gefilte fish!

[A couple of doctors enter; one of them is Dr. Lucy Carmichael]

Lucy Carmichael:
Oh! Stu, Didi, Randy called to say you were on your way. [laughs] I didn't realize you were bringin' the whole party! How far apart are the pains, hon?

Stu Pickles:
Oh, they're... [Didi squeezes his hand very tight] pretty much constant.

Lucy Carmichael:
Okay, Didi, let's go and get you settled in, huh?

[The babies are placed in a playpen]

Lou Pickles:
Here you go, sprout.

Didi Pickles:
[to Tommy] Don't worry, sweetie, mommy's going to be okay.

[Grown-ups leave; Didi continues her breathing exercises]

Chuckie Finster:
Oh, gosh, Tommy, your mommy sure seems upset.

Lil DeVille:
Maybe your baby sister really is losted.

Tommy Pickles:
Whoa! Maybe we can buy her a new one.

[Tommy pulls out his chocolate coin]

Chuckie Finster:
Where're we gonna find a baby in a place like this?

[Pull away to reveal several doctors walking around, carrying babies. The babies, in the usual fashion, break out of the playpen, and crawl out without being caught by Lou and Boris, who are too busy playing "Fish"]

Lou Pickles:
You got any queens?

Boris Kropotkin:
Go fish.

[The babies enter the newborns' nursery]

Phil DeVille:
Hey, a baby store.

Lil DeVille:
Nice and wiggly.

Tommy Pickles:
You guys, help me pick one my mom will like.

[The song "This World is Something New to Me" begins as babies cry and Chuckie steps on one of the light switches on the floor. For your convenience, the newborns' lines will be identified by the artist singing it]

Lisa Loeb:
[singing] Where am I?

B-Real:
[singing] How did I get here?

Patti Smith:
[singing] Things look different than yesterday.

Lou Rawls:
[singing] So this is the world?

Laurie Anderson:
[singing] I miss my old womb.

Gordon Gano:
[singing] The wallpaper here just ain't the same.

Fred Schneider:
[singing; hides under a blanket] This world is something strange.

Lisa Loeb:
[singing] I'm wet.

Phife Dawg:
[singing; wrapped in a blanket] I'm cold!

Lenny Kravitz:
[singing; waggles his diaper] I need a change!

Chorus:
[tossing their blankets in air] This world is something new to me.

Phife Dawg:
[singing] Oh, my head! What is this? I can't take it!

Dawn Robinson:
[singing; on an adjacent monitor] Me either!

[Robotic camera zooms in on next baby]

Beck:
[singing] I'm hungry.

Lou Rawls:
[singing] I'm tired.

Jakob Dylan:
[singing; pounds a crib floor to make a pacifier bounce] I'm irritated!

Lou Rawls:
[singing; moves his legs] But I love the extra leg room.

Patti Smith:
[singing; points to her bellybutton] Man! They cut my cord!

Iggy Pop:
[singing; looks in his diaper] Ohoho, consider yourself lucky!

B-Real:
[singing] This world is way too big!

Iggy Pop:
[singing; baby points at Chuckie, who's pressing his face against the glass] And populated by fuzzy pigs.

Chorus:
This world is something new to me.

Fred Schneider:
[singing] This world is such a gas. [farts, causing his diaper to inflate]

Kate Pierson and Cindy Wilson:
[singing] P.U., where's your class?

Chorus:
This world is something new to me.

[2 baby carriers collide with each other as the Rugrats push them around]

Beck:
[singing] Quiet! Can't a guy get some shuteye?!

[The camera zooms in on his eye]

Patti Smith:
[singing] It's so noisy in here!

Iggy Pop:
[singing] I can barely hear myself suck! [grabs a bottle from Chuckie and chugs it down]

Jakob Dylan:
[singing] The food here tastes pretty good.

Phife Dawg:
[singing] My compliments to the chef.

Dawn Robinson:
[singing] And you gotta holler to get fed.

Lou Rawls:
[singing] But I could get used to that.

[The babies cry, Chuckie falls on floor onto a light switch]

Lisa Loeb:
[singing] This world is way too bright.

Beck:
[singing] Can't somebody turn down the light?

Gordon Gano:
[singing; looks inside his diaper] So that's what that thing looks like.

Jakob Dylan:
[singing] All things here are meant for play,

[Throws a pacifier; robotic camera follows it]

Fred Schneider:
[singing] It's gonna be a real cool day.

Chorus:
This world is something new to me. [one of the newborns screams Ba-da-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu. Baby boy; "Real cool", while another one says, "La-la-la-la!". As a rainbow forms from the "fountain" at the circle-shaped light] This world is something new to me.

[Robotic camera retracts and monitor shuts off as number ends. Lou and Boris enter the nursery]

Lou Pickles:
There you are!

Boris Kropotkin:
Oy, gevalt! You kinder gave my ticker such a scare!

[Lou pick up the babies and he, Boris and the babies leave the nursery. As they leave, they shut the lights out and the rainbow from the musical number fades away]

[Cut to Tommy's room, which was remodeled for the new baby. One side is blue, for Tommy's side, which has a Dummi-bear bed, a "Smile!" poster and a trunk with smiles painted all over, The new baby's side is pink, with a crib festooned with balloons and an "It's a girl!" banner on the wall. The babies enter the room to their amazement]

Rugrats:
Oh!

Chuckie Finster:
Tommy, somebody's been coloring your room.

Tommy Pickles:
Yep, it's for my new sister.

Phil DeVille:
How are we gonna find her, Tommy?

Chuckie Finster:
Yeah, we don't even know what she looks like.

Lil DeVille:
Well, she's a girl like me, so we know she'll be prettyful.

Angelica Pickles:
[enters, carrying a big bunch of cookies using the lower part of her dress] Oh, brother! You dumb babies got a lot to learn about the facts of lice. [shoves babies en route to table] Now, get out of my way. [dumps the cookies on the table] I gotta get back to the dessert table before the grownups get all the good stuff.

Tommy Pickles:
Angelica, can you help us find my baby sister?

Angelica Pickles:
I wouldn't be in such a big hurry if I was you, Tommy. 'Cause when the new baby gets here, she's gonna gets all the toys and the love and the attention. And your mommy and daddy will forget all about you. It'll be like, "Look, Deed...there's that little bald kid in the house again."

Tommy Pickles:
My mommy and daddy won't forget me.

Angelica Pickles:
That's what Spike said before you were born. Back when his name was Paul.

Tommy Pickles:
Paul?

Angelica Pickles:
Yeah, but, then you came along and they put him out in the rain and he turned into a dog.

Tommy Pickles:
That's not gonna happen to me, Angelica. My mommy and daddy will love me no matter what!

[Susie is heard outside, singing to the tune of the first couple of lines of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star", "The ABC Song" and "Baa, Baa, Black Sheep". Boris accompanies her on accordion]

Susie Carmichael:
[singing] A baby is very neat, a baby is a special treat.

Angelica Pickles:
[looks on from Tommy's room]Ugh! Who does Susie Carmichael think she is?

Susie Carmichael:
[singing] A baby has lots of toes, a baby has a tiny nose. [Angelica leaves while the other babies watch from inside. Cut to outside. All are singing, unless specified] A baby is a little dickens, a baby is a cuddly chicken. [Angelica is next to Didi's belly, chuckling, as she plans to make her move] A baby is lots of joy.

Angelica Pickles:
[singing; barging in] A baby will get all the toys!

Susie Carmichael:
[whispers] What are you doing? [continues singing] A baby has a smiley face...

Angelica Pickles:
[singing] A baby is from outside space!

Susie Carmichael:
[whispers] Angelica!

Angelica Pickles:
[whispers] Susie!

Susie Carmichael:
[singing] A baby is extra fancy.

Angelica Pickles:
[singing] A baby poops in his pantsies! [laughs]

Susie Carmichael:
Cut it out!

Angelica Pickles:
No!

[Music switches to a Tejano beat, using different arrangement. The babies climb outside to watch]

Susie Carmichael:
[singing] Like a birdie, singing in a tree!

Angelica Pickles:
[singing] More like Reptar, screaming in your ear!

Both:
[singing] A baby is a gift, a gift from a Bob! A baby is a gift from a Bob, Bob, Bob! A baby is a gift.

[Angelica does a gagging gesture]

Susie Carmichael:
[singing] A gift from a Bob!

[Cut to under a table, where the Rugrats have crawled underneath. Tommy and Chuckie are talking, while music continues under]

Chuckie Finster:
Do you really think babies are a gift from a Bob?

Tommy Pickles:
I don't know. Why?

Chuckie Finster:
Because if Bob bringed a gift, it's probably one of them. [points to the baby shower gifts on a nearby table]

[Return to Angelica and Susie, music reverts to "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star", though the Tejano flavor remains]

Susie Carmichael:
[singing] A baby is very special!

Angelica Pickles:
[singing] A baby is, is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!

[Song ends, Angelica's screaming has induced Didi's labor]

Didi Pickles:
[painfully groans in discomfort] Oh! Betty, it's time!

Betty DeVille:
It's time? Oh, boy. Everybody to your stations, people! Howard, get Stu. Charlotte, call the hospital. Deed, start your breathing. Come on, good girl.

[Didi begins her rhythmic breathing. The other grownups pick up the babies]

Lou Pickles:
[picks up Tommy] Up we go, sprout. We got a Pickle to deliver.

Howard DeVille:
[picks up his twins] Let's go to the car, kids.

[During the rush, the goat has broken loose and is destroying the party. While the goat destroys things, it sets off the sprinkler system]

Charlotte Pickles:
Would somebody turn that sprinkler off?!

[The goat comes inside, dragging a chair on his leg. Lou and Tommy look on]

Lou Pickles:
Now, that's what I call a "baby shower!"

[Cut to Tommy, holding the lead connecting the Reptar Wagon]

Tommy Pickles:
Forward, march! [pulls the wagon up the hill, while Chuckie, Phil and Lil push from behind. Dil is inside the wagon, drinking his juice box. They sing in an army chant] We are going up the hill!

Lil DeVille:
We go back there without Dil!

Tommy Pickles:
But you guys, he's not so bad.

Chuckie Finster:
A frighty thing, he needs a bath.

Tommy Pickles:
Nah-uh!

Rugrats:
Uh-huh!

Tommy Pickles:
Nah-uh!

Rugrats:
Uh-huh!

Tommy Pickles:
Sometimes, he is lots of fun.

Phil DeVille:
He's a big pain in our buns!

Tommy Pickles:
Chuckie, do you think so, too?

Chuckie Finster:
I just got a big boo boo!

Tommy Pickles:
Nah-uh!

Rugrats:
Uh-huh!

Tommy Pickles:
Nah-uh!

Rugrats:
Uh-huh!

Tommy Pickles:
He's just a baby, don't you see?

Lil DeVille:
We love to leave him in a tree!

Tommy Pickles:
He'll get better when he's grown.

Phil DeVille:
We'd like to feed him to a toad!

Tommy Pickles:
Don't you think he's kind of sweet?

Lil DeVille:
All he does is poop and eat!

Tommy Pickles:
Chuckie, don't you like him too?

Chuckie Finster:
[takes off his right shoe and pulls out a rock] I got a rock inside my shoe!

[The babies continue towing the wagon while Chuckie puts his shoe on]

Tommy Pickles:
Nah-uh!

Phil and Lil:
Uh-huh!

Tommy Pickles:
Nah-uh!

Phil and Lil:
Uh-huh!

[The babiess reach the top of the hill, they struggle to put the wagon there]

Tommy Pickles:
Nah-uh! Nah-uh!

Phil and Lil:
Uh-huh! Uh-huh!

Tommy Pickles:
Nah-uh! Nah-uh!

Phil and Lil:
Uh-huh! Uh-huh!

[Dil squeezes his juice box; the sides burst open and squirts Phil & Lil. Song ends]

Phil DeVille:
Hey! Stop squirting. [he Lil fall to the ground. Tommy lets go of the lead. The wagon rolls down the hill, narrowly missing Chuckie] Oops.

Lil DeVille:
[waves] Goodbye, baby.

[The wagon crashes in some bushes. Dil looks around, then sucks his thumb]

[cuts to Jordan having intercourse with Naomi]

Jordan Belfort:
I love you so much.

Naomi Lapaglia:
I fucking hate you, Jordan! Get off me!

Jordan Belfort:
No, baby. Don't do that. You know how much I love you, right? Stop that sweetie, please?

Naomi Lapaglia:
[pauses] You wanna fuck me, Jordan? You wanna fuck me? Good. Go at it. Go ahead and fuck me. I want you to fuck me real hard. I want you to fuck me like it's the last fucking time. Come on.

Jordan Belfort:
Babe, why you doing it like that?

Naomi Lapaglia:
Because I want you to come for me, baby.

Jordan Belfort:
Come on, baby.

Naomi Lapaglia:
Come for me, baby. I want you to come for me like it's the last... fucking... time!

Jordan Belfort:
Yeah?

Naomi Lapaglia:
Yeah! Come on, baby. Come for me. Come on, baby.

Jordan Belfort:
Yeah? Want me to come for you?

Naomi Lapaglia:
Yeah.

[Cybil has detained Harry in her police cruiser]

Harry Mason:
Anything happens to my daughter, I'll hold you responsible.

Cybil Bennet:
She's not in the Stewarts' house.

Harry Mason:
How can you be so sure?

Cybil Bennet:
I've been a cop for twenty years and all twenty of them in this town. I know the place and I know the people. I know the Stewarts haven't kidnapped your daughter.

Harry Mason:
They're in my house.

Cybil Bennet:
Says your ID. You're sure that's your house? Just how well is your head working, Harry?

Harry Mason:
I haven't forgotten anything. Some things are fuzzy, but the rest, I know. I know that was my house.

Cybil Bennet:
What else? What else do you know?

Harry Mason:
I'm Harry Mason. I love my daughter very much. I live in Silent Hill. I write for a living, crap pretty much.

Cybil Bennet:
Conspiracy thrillers? Murder mysteries?

Harry Mason:
Sometimes. Whatever they pay me for. I work for hire. My stuff is big in libraries, never sees hardcover.

Cybil Bennet:
Real life's a lot more boring than your stories. We'll find your daughter, Harry.

[D discovers Leila is next to him, taking refuge from the rain]

Leila:
[points a gun at him] Don't get any ideas!... Hey, I'm just trying to stay dry here. If there was any other place to go, believe me, I'd be there. As soon as the rain lets up, I'll be gone from here and from you.

D:
I think I can guess your problem. Your family was the victim of vampires.

Leila:
You don't know what you're talking about. You don't know anything about it.

D:
All right. Perhaps I don't.

Leila:
[removes her earpiece] This stupid thing, it bothers me... You really are a weird one, you know that? In spite of being a dunpeal hunter and all that that entails. How did you know about my mother?

D:
You called her name, remember?

Leila:
She was kidnapped by vampires. My father went after her and was trying to rescue her, so they killed him. And after a while my mother returned, but she wasn't my mother anymore; she'd been changed. The people in the village stoned her to death while I watched. After that I left home. I met the Marcus brothers and joined with them. I wanted to be a hunter to avenge my parents' deaths. I've seen many terrible things since then: lives destroyed, families devastated, hopes crushed... everytime, it seems avampire is to blame.

D:
I can understand why you'd choose to do it. But the life of a hunter is no kind of life.

Leila:
It's the only life I'm any good for now. And it looks like it's the only life you've ever known. So I suggest we make a pact, since we're both in it for the long haul: whoever dies first, the other one can come and bring flowers to their grave. How's that?... It's the rain, makes me sentimental. I don't know why I should care about that - it's just I love flowers. And I don't think I'll be getting any, I'm all alone after all. We have that much in common, don't we? That we're both hunters and we're both alone. Oh well, I'm being silly, doesn't really matter...

D:
I'll do it. I'll bring you flowers if I survive this... but I don't expect to.

Leila:
Stop, I didn't really mean it when I said that. And anyway, I don't really understand why you should keep on doing this.

D:
Because I'm a dunpeal. I don't get to have a life, not like you.

[Daffy drops dynamite into Bugs' borrow and hides behind a tree. However, the borrow moves and Bugs puts the dynamite behind Daffy and moves away without him noticing]

Daffy Duck:
[looking out from behind the tree] I love doing this, especially because I DESPISE him! [Daffy pushes the T-shaped handle down and the dynamite explodes right behind him] I think I'm going to cry.

[Dan is told to "apologize" on the air for belonging to an organization that supports the legalization of marijuana]

Dan Rydell:
You think I should apologize?

Isaac:
No. But you're going to anyway.

Dan Rydell:
Why?

Isaac:
Because this is television and this is how it's done.

Dan Rydell:
Yeah, well, sitting in the back of the bus was how it was done until a forty-two year old lady moved up front. I'm not very impressed with how things are done, Isaac.

Isaac:
Be that as it may. We'll do it tonight. That's all, we're done.

Gilbert:
You know, you might...

Isaac:
We're done, Stanley.

Dan Rydell:
Well that was a lot of fun huh?

Isaac:
Yeah. Take thirty seconds before the second commercial break, then get us right back into the show.

Dan Rydell:
You know, I don't have any idea what I'm gonna say.

Isaac:
You'll think of something.

Dan Rydell:
I don't know what I'm supposed to say.

Isaac:
Apologize.

Dan Rydell:
To who?

Isaac:
Who cares? [pauses] Danny?

Dan Rydell:
Yeah?

Isaac:
You know I love you, don't you?

Dan Rydell:
Yeah.

Isaac:
And because I love you I can say this: no rich young white guy has ever gotten anywhere with me comparing himself to Rosa Parks. Got it?

Dan Rydell:
Yes sir.

Isaac:
Good.

[Dana Barrett and Peter are playing with Peter's ESP cards]

Dana:
Do you know what this is?

Peter:
... Lines. Two... no, three... wavy lines.

[Dana reveals the card]

Dana:
That's amazing.

Peter:
You're amazing, with your ability to... flood my psychic powers.

Dana:
I can't believe you used to shock your students.

Peter:
Between us, I only zapped the guys.

[Dana zaps Peter, Peter shouts in pain]

Peter:
For science. I know that now. I admit that.

Dana:
Ready? Try this one.

Peter:
... Uh...

Dana:
Take a moment.

Peter:
Uh... It's a five-pointed star... yes?

[Dana reveals the card]

Dana:
How are you doing that?

Peter:
Some believe that true love imbues the subject with the ability-

[Dana shocks Peter again]

Dana:
Did you mark the cards?

Peter:
Haha... no.

Dana:
You did, didn't you?

Peter:
[Nods before speaking] Yeah.

[Dana shocks Peter again]

Dana:
It works well!

[Daniel calls Miranda as several undesirable applicants for the housekeeper position]

Miranda:
[answers as she is driving] Hello? Are you calling in response to the ad?

Daniel:
[in a monotone feminine voice] Uh-huh.

Miranda:
Tell me, who was your previous employer?

Daniel:
I was in a band. Severe Tire Damage.

Miranda:
In a band?

Daniel:
I just want to know one thing: are your kids well-behaved, or do they need like a few light slams every now and then?

Miranda:
Um... I'll have to get back to you on that.

Daniel:
Wow! [Miranda hangs up]

[Cut to Daniel calling Miranda while taking a bath]

Daniel:
[in a German accent] Ja, my name is Ilsa Himmelman, and I want to know how many children do you have?

Miranda:
I have two girls and a boy.

Daniel:
Oh, a boy. I don't work with the males because I used to be one.

Miranda:
[hangs up in shock] Yikes!

[Cut to Daniel calling Miranda later that night]

Miranda:
Hello?

Daniel:
[screams; in a Southern accent] Layla, get back in your cell! Don't make me get the hose! [in a soft voice] Hello? [Miranda hangs up in shock again. Daniel calls her again in a Spanish accent] I. Am. Job.

Miranda:
Do you speak English?

Daniel:
I. Am. Job.

Miranda:
I'm sorry, the position has been filled. [hangs up] Oh, what a nightmare!

Daniel:
[as he dials Miranda's number one last time] Let's go in for the kill.

Miranda:
[answers the phone] Hello?

Daniel:
[in a feminine English accent] Hello. I'm calling in regards to the ad I read in the paper.

Miranda:
Yes. Well, would you tell me a little bit about yourself?

Daniel:
Oh, certainly dear. For the past 15 years, I have worked for the Smythe family of Elbourne, England. That's Smythe, not Smith, dear. And for them, I did house-cleaning, cooking, and took care of their four glorious children. Oh, I grew quite attached to them after 15 years, but they grew up, as children tend to do. Oh, but listen to me, I am going on when you should be telling me about your little ones.

Miranda:
Well, I have two girls...

Daniel:
Oh, two precious gems. No doubt, the jewel of your eye.

Miranda:
...and one boy.

Daniel:
Oh, the little prince. How wonderful.

Miranda:
I must tell you, there would be a little light cooking required.

Daniel:
Oh, I don't mind that dear. I'd love some heavy cooking, but I do have one rule: They'll only eat good, nutritious food with me. And if there's any dispute about that, it's either good, wholesome food or empty tummies. That's my rule. I hope it's not too harsh for you, dear.

Miranda:
No. Um, would you mind coming on an interview, say, Monday night at 7:30?

Daniel:
Oh, I'd love to, dear.

Miranda:
Wonderful. I'm at 2640 Steiner Street.

Daniel:
Steiner. Oh, how lovely.

Miranda:
Could you tell me your name?

Daniel:
My name? I thought I gave it to you, dear.

Miranda:
No.

Daniel:
Oh! [sees a newspaper headline that reads, "Police Doubt Fire Was Accidental"] Doubtfire.

Miranda:
I beg your pardon?

Daniel:
Doubtfire, dear. Mrs Doubtfire.

Miranda:
Well, I look forward to meeting you.

Daniel:
Oh, lovely, dear. Me, too.

Miranda:
Bye-bye.

Daniel:
Ta-ta. [hangs up; in his normal voice] Showtime. [chuckles]

[Daniel walks into the holding room]

Young Jack O'Neill:
Daniel, will you tell them who I am? Please?

Dr. Daniel Jackson:
Okay, love to. Who are you?