Wikidude's Quotes Page #136

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Julian: J-Roc, where's this guy at anyway? J-Roc: Chill out, Julian. Cyrus'll be here in a minute, ya know what I'm sayin'? Julian: Cyrus?! Ricky: What the fuck are you doing working with Cyrus? Cyrus: Well well well. If it isn't the big, tough Julianne. The Hubble Bubble Telescope. And Helmet Head. Bubbles: Fuckin' call me a telescope. Cyrus: Ladies! The boss is home. It's been a long time no see, dick weeds. (pulls a gun) Ricky: Why don't you take your little gun and fuck off, Cyrus? Cyrus: (chambers a round) Why don't we fuck on? Cory: (walks out of the trailer) Julian, where's the hand cream? Cyrus: (takes a man's bag of chips out of his hand) I know one of you dickheads did this to my car, cuz you're the only ones who know I failed Grade 10. T: You failed Grade 10? Cyrus: (points his gun towards the Roc Pile) Fuck off! (points to his vandalized car) And what's this, "I'm a fuckhead"? Huh? Ricky: Actually, it says "I'm fucked in the head", 'cause you are. Sarah: Ricky, where the fuck are Cory and Trevor? I said I wanted them back an hour ago. Ricky: I don't fucking know, they went home two hours ago. They told me. Sarah: Well, I don't have them, you must still have them. Donny: GET YOUR HANDS OFF IT! I PAID FOR A LADY, NOT FUCKING CORY AND TREVOR! – Trailer Park Boys, Season 4 (2004) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Julian: What do you think, Bubs? Bubbles: Well, I don't know much about this stuff, Julian. DVS: They're good hos, man. They're good hos, I'm tellin' ya. Bubbles: What other choice do we have? He says they're good hos. Julian: All right, all right, done. Three o'clock. DVS: I'll see you then. I'll be waitin' here, with the hos, homie. J-Roc: Peace out, sling blade! Bubbles: It's not a sling, J-Roc, it's duct tape. Just get the hos. – Trailer Park Boys, Season 4 (2004) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Bubbles: Boys, I feel like I got hit by a fuckin' dump truck. How much would a massage thing cost me, do you figure? Julian: Massage. Ricky: Look, Julian, I know I'm dumb as fuck and stuff, but why can't we just steal more furniture and fill up these trailers with furniture and fuckin' open like a used furniture store or some shit? Bubbles: Used furniture store's not a bad idea, Julian. Keep Lahey and Randy distracted, make a few bucks. Ricky: Exactly. Get two birds stoned at once. Julian: We're gonna fill the trailers up with furniture all right, boys, but we're gonna rent them out by the hour. Bubbles: Aw, that's greasy. Ricky: That's really fuckin' greasy. Julian: Yeah, it's greasy. Bubbles: Gree-hee-hee-heasy. – Trailer Park Boys, Season 4 (2004) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Ricky: How's it going, Randy? Did you get everything done? Randy: Almost. Are those my burgers, Ricky? That's my burger, right? Ricky: No, Barb made these for me. Randy: I want my fuckin' burger, Rick! Ricky: Randy, I'll get yours later. You didn't finish your job. [Randy tries to take the burger out of Ricky's hand] Ricky: Fuck off Randy! Randy: Fuck you! Ricky: You get the fuckin' chicken chips- [Randy grabs the burger and tries to eat it as Ricky starts choking him] Ricky: Fuckin' asshole! Give me that back you fuckin' dick! Let go of it! Stop grabbing it! [Jim sees Ricky from his back view, making it look like Randy is trying to perform oral sex on him] Ricky: Get your hands of it! Get your fuckin' hands of it! Randy: IT'S MINE!! Jim: Smokey! [Lahey trips and accidently shoots the arrow towards Ricky and Randy] [Ricky gets shot in the back of his shoulder with the arrow] Ricky: [in pain] Fuck!!! What the fuck?! Ah, Jesus Christ! [Ricky takes out his gun and starts shooting aimlessly] Donny: WHAT IN THE FUCK?! Julian: What are you doing?! Give me that! Ricky: I'm trying to shoot whoever fuckin' shot me! Jim: Randy, how could you do that? Ricky: Jesus Christ!!! Randy: Do what? Jim: What you were doing with Ricky? Randy: I wasn't doing anything with Ricky. Ricky: Is that a fuckin' bow and... You fuckin' shot me! Jim: It was an accident, Ricky. I was trying to shoot a blue jay. Ricky: I'll show you a fuckin' blue jay! Julian: Ricky, it was an accident! Listen, you can call the cops on Lahey for getting shot with an arrow, but he can call the cops on you for firing a handgun out in the trailer park. They cancel out. Ricky: That doesn't even make sense, Julian. Julian: It's even, Ricky. Ricky: I don't have the right people words to make you understand the way it means to me, but something's fucked up here! Bubbles: Hold still, Ricky. [Bubbles lightly tries to pull out the arrow] Ricky AGHHHH!!! FUUUCK!!! Julian: Get outta here! [Julian pushes Ricky away as he grunts in pain] Randy: Ricky, you owe me two double cheeseburgers for cleaning up Julian's trailer! Ricky: I never said doubles, Randy! I never said fuckin' doubles! Where's my chocolate milk and chicken chips?! Julian: Rick, go home! Ricky: (to Randy) Fuck you and fuck your cheeseburgers! Bubbles: Everybody calm down!! For fuck's sakes! Is this all about cheeseburgers?! Randy: Yeah. Bubbles: Well, Randy, I've got burger meat and cheese at my shed. I'll cook some up for you on the barbeque if that'll diffuse the situation. – Trailer Park Boys, Season 4 (2004) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Ricky: You gotta come back to the trailer park right now. I got a job for you, it's gonna be perfect: Assistant Trailer Park Supervisor. Julian: (laughs drunkly) Assistant. Ricky: That's right, buddy. 4600 bucks a year. Bubbles quit and I could use a hand. I'm gonna straigten all the shit out man, things are gonna be cool. [Randy overhears] Randy: Hey Ricky, I'm looking for work! Bubbles: Fuck off, Randy! – Trailer Park Boys, Season 4 (2004) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Julian: You're not prostituting yourself for cheeseburgers again, are ya, Randy? Randy: Man's gotta eat, Julian. – Trailer Park Boys, Season 4 (2004) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Ricky: Here's a little piece of hash, go to the stove, do some hot knives, get stoned, and get to work. Randy: I can't get stoned, Ricky Ricky: What do you mean? It's shitty work, everybody does that, all right? Carpenters, electricians, dishwashers, floor cleaners, lawyers, doctors, fuckin' politicians, CBC employees, principals, people who paint the lines on the fuckin' roads. Get stoned, it'll be fun, get to work. – Trailer Park Boys, Season 4 (2004) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Jim: Are you really this fuckin' stupid? George: Let's talk about stupid, Jim. I'm gonna put this in a way that even someone like you can understand. Remember the story of the little boy who cried wolf? In case you forgot, he was a little boy who cried for help because he said there was a wolf after him. Each time the people of the village came running, and each time there was no wolf. Eventually they got really tired of it. So when he calls for help because there's a real wolf after him, nobody takes him seriously. Nobody comes, because nobody cares. Do you see where I'm going with this, Jim? Jim: George, I know it looks like I'm off the. [George interrupts him] George: Listen. What we have here, Jim, is a shit wolf. Do you know what a shit wolf is? You never seem to have that crucial little thing called evidence. But each time you cry shit wolf, and each time I come running. No more, Jim. Never again. Jim: J... George: Now, I want you to tell me what the moral of the story is. Jim: George. George: No. Say it Jim. Say it. Jim: Never cry shit wolf. George: That's right. Now get your sorry ass out of here or you're spending the night in the drama tank. – Trailer Park Boys, Season 4 (2004) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Ricky: (honks horn) Get over here you little f... NO NO NO NO NO! Don't throw bottles at me! Don't throw bottles at me ever, OK? Now listen up. I want you to hit lot 423, hit it hard, OK? You guys know what flaming shit bags are? Good. Throw some of those in the mix. I got two big bags of chips. I'll give you one now and one when you're done. Move it out, boys. (bottle kids run off) He can stick his Grade 11 up his ass. – Trailer Park Boys, Season 4 (2004) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Jim: Look, you might have my job now, Ricky. But I got something you'll never have. Ricky: Yeah? What's that, Lahey? Jim: My Grade 11. – Trailer Park Boys, Season 4 (2004) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Bubbles: Julian, I'm craving some Chalet take-out. Come on, my treat? Julian: All right, all right! Bubbles: And then we're gettin' drunk, all right? Julian: Okay, thank you! Tyrone: Man, Bubbles, man, I would like some chicken, man. Get me a quarter chicken dinner, extra gravy. DVS: Fa sho'. Quarter chicken dinner, french fries, onion rings. J-Roc: Chicken-rib combo, extra roll, B. Bubbles: Boys, boys, come off it! This is distraction chicken I'm buying Julian! J-Roc: Oh, so now I'm like, 'you got my whip,' you know what I'm sayin', 'but I ain't got no chicken!' – Trailer Park Boys, Season 4 (2004) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Bubbles: J-Roc! Listen, Julian got out of jail early, he doesn't even know we're growing weed. I gotta create a distraction, J-Roc. Can you please let me say we got this car for him as a present? J-Roc: Bubbles, this is my brand-new whip, ma-fucka! Don't do that to me, you know what I'm sayin'? Bubbles: Come on, J-Roc! I'm in a jam. I got an idea... Two grams of blonde Lebanese hash? J-Roc: Let me check this shit out... Bubbles: (drops the hash) Shit! (hands J-Roc the hash) Check that out. J-Roc: Bubbles, that ain't even blonde, you know what I'm sayin' ma-fucka... (smells the hash) Bubbles: It's dirty blonde, though! Look, it's got blonde streaks into it, it's Lebanese... J-Roc: All right, Bubbles. Don't say I didn't have your back, you know what I'm sayin'? – Trailer Park Boys, Season 4 (2004) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Jim: My god! It's Ricky! [Ricky smashes the Boom Gate] Jim: Yeah, we got a 10 72 at the Sunnyvale Trailer Park. Thank you very much. Well Ricky, it looks like you shit goose this time. Ricky: Fuck you, fuck you, fuck your gay. Jim: Willful destruction of property, theft under a thousand dollars, trespassing, dangerous driving. You're goin' back to jail, boy. Ricky: Good. Did you call the cops yet? Jim: Yeah I did. Ricky: Good. I want to go back to jail. Jim: You wanna go. Ricky: Hey, Trin. Trinity: Hi. Ricky: Where did you get this rim? Trinity: I borrowed it, daddy. Just like you taught me to. Merry Christmas. Ricky: Like I taught you to? What do you mean? Jim: Apples don't fall far from the tree. Do they, Rick? Ricky: Lahey, I got a lot to deal with before I go back to jail. I don't have time for your shit right now so fuck off. Jim: Speaking of shit, Rick, which you were. When a shit apple falls from a tree and grows up in a field of shit. It doesn't have any choice. Just like Trinity. She's gonna grow up to be a shit apple tree. Just like her father. Have fun in jail, Rick. Trinity: I wanna go to jail. Ricky: Trinity, don't ever say that again. Okay? Don't joke around. Trinity: I wanna go to jail. Jail, jail, jail, jail. Ricky: Trinity, stop it! I'm serious. Don't ever joke about that. You're never going to jail, okay? Jim: Oh yes she is, Rick. Ricky: No she's not, Lahey. So fuck off. – Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
[Ricky is honking his horn] Bubbles: Thanks for the milk shake, Julian. It's delicious. Heh heh heh heh. Ricky: HIGH! IN DRUNK! AS FUCK! DRUNK AS FUCK!! (Throws a glass bottle at Julian's car) Julian: Is that Ricky? Bubbles: I Would say it is, Julian. – Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Cory: Hey, everybody! How you doin'! This is my friend Mr. Gun! My special guest Smith and Wesson says get your ass down and give some quarters! This is a stick up, real deal, real gun, full cooperation and no one gets done! Yeah! So listen to me cuz that's what I say when I rock hip uh... Trevor: Stop fuckin' robin, man. This is a real thing. Cory: Down please miss. Down. Down. Alright, you just keep doin' what you're doin'. You're cool, that's alright. Tall boy, get down! Don't make me fuckin' get up there! Trevor: Come on, we want your change. Cory: Down! Trevor: Give us your change now. Cory: Dude, just take the fuckin' quarters! Trevor: Please get on the ground! Aw, man. Look at these little things of detergent. (Trevor takes the detergent) We should take some of these too. Cory: Thank you very much. Thank you. – Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Ricky: The fastest way to get money is steal a bank machine. It doesn't take rocket appliances to realize. All you gotta do is take a fuckin' chain, hook it up to the truck and yank the fuckin' back machine out of the store. – Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Ricky: What's wrong, sweetie? Trinity: You're always in jail for Christmas. Ricky: I'm gonna do my best to stay out of jail this year. That what the cruise all about. We're gonna go on the cruise instead of go to jail. I'll tell you what. I got a great idea. Why don't we have Christmas today? Trinity: Really? Ricky: To make up for all the Christmases I was in jail drunk. We'll have real presents and everything. Trinity: Cool! Ricky: (Gets out of the paddle boat) Come on out. [Trinity also gets out of the paddle boat and Ricky throws a glass bottle and a bag into the lake] Trinity: You're allowed doing that! That's littering! (Cuts to Ricky sitting on his car) Ricky: I've notice that if you throw something into a water. Body like a lake or an ocean that the next day you come back and it's gone. So somehow it takes it away and filters it through and just cleans it up like a garbage compactor or whatever. So it's not really littering if you ask me. (Cuts back to Ricky hanging out with Trinity) Ricky: That's fine. The water's gonna wash it all away, sweetie. Aw shit! We're gonna have to borrow a tire from somebody, Trin. – Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Ricky: What in the fuck? Are you dressed up like a bumblebee for? And why do you look like Indianapolis Jones? Jim: It's none of your goddamn business, Ricky. If you must know, Randy and I were rehearsing for a play for the Blandford Recreation Centre next Thursday. Randy: No! Mr. Lahey, we weren't rehearsing for a play. Jim: We were practicing, Randy. Randy: It's not Halloween, we're not doing community theatre. Jim: Randy. Randy: We're consenting adults. And what we do in the privacy of our own home is. Is fine, Mr. Lahey. Jim: Randy, please. Randy: And I don't care. I don't care if the whole world knows that we like to dress up, that we like to have some fun. And that, we're a couple. Hey everybody! We're gay! Ricky: (shocked) What? Randy: Say it, Mr. Lahey. It feels great. Jim: Alright Randy. We'll do it your way. Everybody. I'm gay. [The camera leans to a shocked Bubbles, who awkwardly turns away] – Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Jim: Julian, I'm collecting paperwork and when I get enough, I can evict anyone in this park. You, Ricky, even little Bubbles here. And you know why? Cuz you all signed on the dotted line. I'm watching you, Julian. Like a shit hawk. Like a shit hawk. Come on, Randy. Bubbles: Julian, what's a shit hawk? Some kind of a shitty bird that swoops down and puts poop onto ya or somethin'? Julian: Bubbles, shit hawks don't exist, okay? He's just drunk. Don't listen to him. Bubbles: Well, can he boot us out of the park like he said he could? Julian: No, he's just being a dick. Listen, man. There's no way this operation's gonna draw heat, okay? I promise you that. Everything's gonna be cool. Just keep up the good work, man. Don't worry about him. Bubbles: Yeah, everything'll be cool. Just like it's cool every other time you promised me and you go back to jail and I'm left here by myself with shit hawks flyin' around, shit ropes comin' after me. Shitty this and shitty that. – Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Julian: Randy, a lot of barbecues look alike. You're probably on drugs or confused or something like you usually are. – Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Jim: Yeah, Julian? Jim Lahey here. Yeah, Public Idiot No. 1 has gone one step too far. We're in the eye of a shiticane here, Julian. Ricky: (attempts to take the phone out of Jim's hand) Give me the fuckin' phone. Jim: Ricky is a low-shit system. (Ricky takes the phone out of Jim's hand) Ricky: Julian, this is Ricky. Lahey's snooping around my fuckin'- Ah, this fuckin' thing. (throws the phone) – Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
[Alex is in his dressing room, playing Red Barchetta] Ricky: What the fuck are you doing wearing my clothes? Alex Lifeson: Oh, not this asshole again! What are you doing with my clothes?! (to Julian) I thought we had a deal here! No cops? Ricky: Just give me back my fuckin' clothes. [Randy walks into the room and sees Ricky, Julian and Bubbles] Randy: Alex, we're on in four... Alex Lifeson: Oh, great. Randy: I'm friggin' tellin'! [Randy runs out of the room] Ricky: You fuckin' asshole! Randy: Mr. Lahey! Bubbles, Julian and Ricky snuck back in! Ricky: Fuckin' dicks... Alex Lifeson: Guys, please. Gimme a break, here. I gotta get back on stage, I gotta get out of these stupid track pants and into my clothes right now! Ricky: What the fuck's wrong with track pants? – Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
[The boys walk to a manhole wearing garbage bags] Ricky: This is fucked up, Julian. Julian: Look boys, I'm sorry, alright? The security's a little tight. This'll be fun man. Bubbles: This is not fuckin' fun, Julian! This is bullshit! Julian: You wanna see Rush, Bubbles? Bubbles: Yes, I wanna see Rush! Julian: Get down there. You want me to go next? Bubbles: Please. What if something gets me? Bubbles: Ah! Something licked me on the knee! Something licked me! [Julian lifts up a grate] Bubbles: We did it Julian. Was that the Alex Lifeson? Julian: Shh! Bubbles: That is him! Ricky: Shh! Alex Lifeson: Sorry, Randy? I got this t-shirt for you to wear tonight on stage during the guitar changes. Randy: No thanks, Alex. I don't wear shirts. Alex Lifeson: Oh, no. You gotta wear a shirt. Please. Randy: Never do. Jim: Randy doesn't wear shirts, Mr. Lifeson. That's just the way it is. Alex Lifeson: Well, Mr. Lahey, maybe you can talk him into wearing this shirt. Jim: He doesn't wear shirts, not even in the winter time. [Notices Ricky, Julian and Bubbles walking towards them] Jim: How did you idiots get in here?! Bubbles: Hi, Alex. Ricky: Don't worry about it, Lahey. Hey, I know this guy! Randy: How's this shit? Bubbles: See this, Randy? When somebody like Alex Lifeson gives you a fuckin' t-shirt to put on, you're puttin' the fuckin' thing on. I don't care if you don't wear shirts. Randy: I don't wear a frig! [Bubbles attempts to put the t-shirt on Randy] Jim: Randy doesn't wear shirts! [Bubbles struggles to get Randy to wear the t-shirt while the other try to pry him off] Jim: [To the security guards] Take the garbage downtown, boys. [The guards drag the boys away] Donny: WHAT IN THE FUCK?! [The boys get out of the cab] Bubbles: This is fucked! Ricky: Fuckin' believe we gotta go down the same! Julian: Boys, it wasn't that bad. – Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
[Julian walks Alex out to a cab] Julian: I'm sorry about all this shit, man. Alex Lifeson: OK. It's all right. Ricky: Fuck that! Don't even worry about him! [Julian pushes Ricky back while Alex tells the cab where to go] Ricky: Fuckin' shove me... Alex Lifeson: I'm going downtown. Ricky: You got enough money? Here's another dollar thirty-six there, dick tree. [Ricky throws the coins at his feet, Julian helps him pick them up] Alex Lifeson: I can't believe I'm picking this stuff up! Ricky: Just get the fuck out of here, would ya? He's kind of a dick. Julian: You fucked up big time. [Alex Lifeson gives Ricky the middle finger as the cab drives off and Ricky gives Alex Lifeson the middle finger] Julian: Ricky, Ricky, don't be giving him the finger. Ricky: He fuckin' started it. Julian: No, you fucked up big time this time, man. You wanna go back to jail? Because it looks like you do. Huh? Ricky: Julian, look. I fucked up and I'm sorry, alright? You got a better idea? – Trailer Park Boys, Season 3 (2003) Show Quote	added 7 months ago

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