Wikidude's Quotes Page #15

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude — There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Ben: It's a matter of public record that Dan Egan was fired because of his relation to the data breach. I mean, you could have Googled that. Mr. Rakes: That's not my question. Was he responsible? Ben: Well, Washington needed a sacrifice. So we all ran and got out our pitchforks, and we set fire to the Wicker Dan. Mrs. Brewer: Okay, so why did he deserve to go if he was innocent? Ben: You make it sound like there's a correlation between what should happen and what actually happens. I mean, life is chaotic. And it's often unfair. I know it is for me. Dan Egan deserved to go. So, he went. – Veep, Season 4 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Mr. Rakes: So Jonah Ryan wasn't sent here to defend the bill to deliberately undermine it? Ben: No. No. Read my luscious lips: no. – Veep, Season 4 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Ben: Hey, Dan. Dan: Thought you resigned. Ben: I guess the president changed her mind. It's a fickle world, my friend, and you've just been fickled. [beat] Dan: No. No, this is not—this is not real. Ben: No, you're right Dan, it's a dream. And me and Kent are about to turn into two horny cheerleaders and start making out. Dan: So am I fired? Please Ben, don't say that I'm fired. Ben: You're not fired... Dan: Oh, thank fuck for that. Ben: ...because you've just resigned. Kent: It's a perfect fit. Worked on the Families First Bill, and handsome. Therefore, guilty looking. Dan: No, no. No! I know about the targeting of bereaved families and the use of federal data! Ben: You listen to me, you little fucking turd's assistant, you don't threaten the administration, because we will fucking destroy you! We'll skin you like a squirrel, clean you out like a dirty fucking chimney, and wear you like a glove puppet with my fingers sticking out of your dead fucking eyeballs!! [beat] Kent: I cannot endorse that message, but I do acknowledge it. – Veep, Season 4 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
[re: Senator Doyle floundering during his speech on supporting LGBTQ people in sports] Bill Ericsson: Sounds like he's learning a sex alphabet. Ben: I've seen a salmon in a grizzly's mouth look less panicky than that! – Veep, Season 4 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Chung: Today, we're here to talk about records. And my record clearly shows that, unlike some of us, I have been tested. Ben: Here comes the burning tank story, where he saves the one guy, and the rest of us get fucking tortured. – Veep, Season 3 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Ben: I hate confessions, unless they've been beaten out of someone. – Veep, Season 3 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Robb: Right, so unelected... loony has the ear and minge of the Vice President and he says that fat people——no, fat kids, fat kiddies have sinned in a past life! Jonah: Yeah. Do you know how upsetting that's gonna be to fat people? All of America is fat people, that's all we have! All of our children weigh 300 fucking pounds! Robb: Well we've got fat kids here—well I've got a fat kid, I don't see her very often but that's er, she's um... Right, we'll ambush the Vice President, we'll get photos of her being surrounded by fat kids dressed as devils. Jonah: Seriously? Robb: [nonchalantly] Yeah. Jonah: Oh, my God! You guys are fucking brutal! Robb: This calls for a celebration. Come on, I'll get you the first pint at least. – Veep, Season 3 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Kent: People are disturbed by your role— Ray: Yeah, they think folks that are physical can't be cerebral, they think those two things are separate, that they're not... symbiotic. Kent: No, no, no. You don't understand. Ray: No, I do! I do. Look, people think that, you know, the fitness guy, how can he know about politics? I get you, Kent. Kent: [groans in frustration] Again, I don't think you do. People think Selina's judgement is bad if she listens to people like you, whose beliefs are very stupid. Ray: Because I am people. Kent: Oh, you're not getting it. Ray: You know, the brain is a muscle. Kent: No, it isn't! [later] Kent: You really don't get it, so I'm going to keep this very simple: you're fired. Ray: I get you. Very simple. Kent: Yes, it is. Ray: Great. I'm so pleased we had this talk. Let's see where we all are in a month or so. Kent: [astounded] This is amazing. Ray: Thank you. – Veep, Season 3 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Amy: Okay, Thornhill knows how to throw a ball, Pierce may be a sitting fuck, but the main targets here are Maddox and Chung. Ben: Well hit Chung with inexperience and Maddox with resignation; actual and general air of. Amy: Yeah, I want their heads on my wall. Actual heads. Furlong: God, I love this kind of talk; gets me aroused. [beat] Sorry, I meant "roused". [beat] No, did I mean—I meant "aroused"! Aroused. – Veep, Season 3 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Kent: I know it's terrible that the First Lady tried to kill herself, but our carrying on is what she would have wanted—does want. – Veep, Season 3 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Teddy: [to Jonah] Hey, I Am Groot, stop swapping spit here with Pretty Woman, and get me Brock and Hunter! – Veep, Season 4 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Dan: Sir? Ben: Yes? Dan: The HIV girl. Ben: Yes? Dan: The one that the president mentioned in the CBS interview. Ben: Yes? Dan: Alright, well, some people on Reddit put the details together and now the whole town knows who she is. Ben: Fuck! You know, I preferred when the Internet was just AltaVista and that little Star Wars kid! Did we definitely out this girl? Dan: Yeah. Ben: Shit! Dan: Only her doctor and her principal knew, now parents are keeping their kids home from school 'cause they don't want them to, quote, "catch AIDS." Ben: Oh, there's a town with no Gay Pride parade or a goddamn library! Bill Ericsson: Where did this data come from? How did we get her medical records, and why didn't we ask her parent's permission? Ben: Oh thank you, Question Man! You've just saved the entire city! Or did you? Mike: This is catching fire like a gas station in a Michael Bay movie. Dan: What's our line here? Do we tell the president? Ben: No! She's gonna panic! We gotta find out more facts, aright? Bozos, disassemble! – Veep, Season 4 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Selina: Who do you think you are? Gary Antoinette? Did somebody make you First Lady, because I don't remember marrying you, Gary! I don't remember fucking you in Niagara Falls! I think I'd remember that! Gary: Ma'am, I'm really sorry for the painting, and I'm really sorry for the spending, but you have to understand— Selina: Oh, shut up! Just shut up! You are unimportant! And you have suckered onto me like some sort of a car window Garfield! Gary: That is not true, ma'am. Selina: You think you're some sort of a big shot here? Oh, my God, you are not a big shot here, Gary! You're a middle-aged man who sanitizes my tweezers! God! Gary: You're wrong. Selina: Excuse me?! Gary: When's Catherine's birthday? Selina: June 8th— Gary: Ninth. Selina: Ninth! Gary: Which senator's daughter's in rehab? Selina: You're out of line, missy! Gary: Geldray. What are you wearing tomorrow? Selina: I don't know! Gary: I do, I'm your calendar, I'm your Google, I'm your Wilson the volleyball! Selina: No you're not! Gary: Yes I am! Selina: NO YOU'RE NOT! Gary: I have broken my body for you! Selina: Oh, come on. Gary: I've let myself be laughed at, I've let myself be humiliated, but I'm happy to do it! Most times, you don't even know that I exist, BUT I AM FUCKING EVERYTHING TO YOU! Selina: Oh, I am so happy to find somebody else to get me my hand cream! Gary: Okay, go! Selina: Yeah! Gary: Can you find somebody else who did what I did?! [Long pause] Selina: You mean on Labor Day? Gary: I didn't say that. Selina: Yeah you did, you ju— you just said "Labor Day". Gary: I said I would never mention that ever. – Veep, Season 4 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Furlong: [to Catherine, regarding Selina's new haircut] Just imagine, that's what you'll look like when you become a boy. – Veep, Season 3 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Dan: [to a reporter] You're asking a rhetorical question, and the answer's obviously No. – Veep, Season 3 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Dan: You could just hit the fucking gas, Jonah. Jonah: Dan, I'm not getting a ticket, okay? That's the sort of thing that comes back to bite you when you run for office. Dan: Yeah, that's what's gonna hold you back. Jonah: Okay, new rule in the cube: if your name begins with "D," you need to shut the fuck up immediately! Richard: I'm fine because my name begins with an "R." Dan: Not if we shorten it to "Dick." – Veep, Season 4 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Kent: Ma'am, my brain is at your service. Selina: We'll see. – Veep, Season 2 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Selina: I'm taking these people back to dial-up, you know what I mean? They think they're kings of America. Kent: Well, in a way they are. Selina: No, they're not! Kent: Okay, I take your point. Selina: I know you're walking around here like you're C-3PO with a big brass shiny erection, but I've got news for you, this is kindergarten for cyber-brats. And I'll tell you something else: if you're over 30, check it out. [indicates an elderly cleaner nearby] That's where you're headed my friend, if you work here. I gotta go to the bathroom. Do they have a bathroom here, or do they put their turds up in the cloud? Kent: Down the hall, to the right. Selina: I hate this fucking place. – Veep, Season 3 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Gary: She's gonna ask you for a chamomile. She doesn't want chamomile; she wants peppermint. Okay? She gets a little confused, but do not point it out. – Veep, Season 3 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Kent: You are going to change America in a way that usually only war and fluoride can. – Veep, Season 3 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Dan: Thanks for sending me the speech, Mike. It's perfect- Mike: Great. Dan: -ly shit. – Veep, Season 3 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Amy: Sorry to interrupt, um, there's been a shooting across the street. Selina: Oh. Amy: Yeah. Three people died, one of them was Emily Lafuente. Selina: Emily Lafuente, the journalist? She was a vicious bitch and a fucking drunk. That's sad news. – Veep, Season 3 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Minna Häkkinen: I'm sorry to say, in your country you have too many guns. Selina: Way too many. But I think we have a little problem, and it's called the Second Amendment. People think it's their birthright, you see. Minna Häkkinen: To give guns to babies? Selina: Well, only in Arizona. – Veep, Season 3 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Minna Häkkinen: I would like you to understand that in my country, politics is a lot more honest. Selina: In your country, people fuck snow. And I hope you understand that I say that with the utmost respect. – Veep, Season 3 Show Quote	added 7 months ago

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