Adult Sheldon:
Fun fact: The first time I almost died was at the age of nine. The murder weapon: A Jimmy Dean sausage.
[In the flashback, Sheldon chokes and clutches his throat, his blue eyes wide with distress]
Missy:
Mom, Sheldon's making faces at me.
[Mary sees Sheldon clutching his throat and struggling to breathe]
Mary:
Sheldon?! Honey!
Adult Sheldon:
In fairness to Mr. Dean, this one morning I decided to forego my normal twenty chews per bite, as prescribed by the American Medical Association.
Mary:
George, help!
George:
[bending Sheldon over his knee] Come here, boy. We got it. We just got to smack it out. [He smacks Sheldon on the back]
Adult Sheldon:
To further complicate matters, in any real life crisis, my family's default mode is mindless panic.
Missy:
[from the comfort of the breakfast table] Sheldon's gonna die! Sheldon's gonna die!
Adult Sheldon:
Or heartless apathy.
[Georgie bites into a slice of toast and watches. George picks Sheldon up by his legs and shakes him]
George:
Here we go. This is how you do it. Here we go. And shake.
Adult Sheldon:
It's interesting, the things you think about when life is ebbing from your body. For instance, linoleum. What is it, really? Plastic? And if so, how is it from Formica?
Mary:
I'm calling 911.
[While being shaken, Sheldon's gaze turns to the cereal box on the table]
Adult Sheldon:
And what about Count Chocula? How is he a count? Did the title come with land?
Mary:
George, Heimlich! [George puts the boy on his feet and does a heimlich maneuver] Don't hurt his little ribs!
Adult Sheldon:
They say in the final moments, your life passes before your eyes. All I saw was my brother licking jelly off the knife, and putting it back in the jar.
[Sheldon's windpipe is freed from obstruction]
Mary:
Okay, it's better now. Sheldon! Honey, are you okay? Can you breathe? Say something!
Sheldon:
You have to... throw away... that jelly!
