Wikidude's Quotes Page #18

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude — There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Alasdair: Christine, you know that producers' books about ettiquette and manners? Well, what does it say about that green slime they're always dumping on us? Christine: Ah, you almost caught me. You almost got me, but I'll look it up in the book. [She looks through the pages.] Christine: G, okay. Garbage, gobbledygook, gag-- green slime. Okay. [reads] "I don't know." [Slime falls on Christine. She slams the book closed.] Christine: You know, they're getting sneaky about this green slime stuff. – You Can't Do That on Television, Season 4 (1983) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
[At Barth's] Kevin: You know, Barthy runs a pretty clean place here. Alasdair: Clean? You call this place clean? Why, even the rats wouldn't be caught dead here. Christine: Yeah, and if they did, they'd end up in the burger mix, anyway. – You Can't Do That on Television, Season 4 (1983) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
[Lisa is interrupting Mrs. Prevert's story at the dinner table.] Mrs. Prevert: Lisa, how many times do I have to tell you, dear? It is impolite to interrupt. You must wait your turn. Lisa: But when does my turn come? Mr. Prevert: Here. [He takes a card from a stand on the table.] Take a number. Lisa: 3,796?! Mr. Prevert: Yep. Lisa: What's your number? Mr. Prevert: [holding up his card] 2. [Lisa throws away her card in frustration.] Mrs. Prevert: So, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted... – You Can't Do That on Television, Season 4 (1983) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Kevin: [leaving Blip's Arkaid] Oh, uh, Blip, thanks for taking me. Blip: Don't you mean "Thanks for having me"? Kevin: No, I mean thanks for taking me for every cent I've got. Blip: Oh, no trouble. Any time you've got a pocket full of loose change, drop in. – You Can't Do That on Television, Season 4 (1983) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
[Christine enters the studio] Kevin: Where do you think you're going? Christine: To do the introduction to the show. Lisa: You can't do that on television! Christine: Yeah, that's the show, alright. – You Can't Do That on Television, Season 3 (1982) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Announcer: "Fred Sanford, The World's Best Dressed Man" will not be seen at this time in order that we may bring you the following tasteless program. – You Can't Do That on Television, Season 3 (1982) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Jermaine: [After Jack gets the Manchurian Musca] Yo, Omi, you must be trippin'. Omi: I am not taking a trip! Jermaine: Your hotdogging cost us a Shen Gong Wu! Omi: Are you saying it is BECAUSE OF ME?! Jermaine: I'm saying, some poser may need a refresher course on how to be a Xiaolin warrior. Omi: A refresher course!? I should be TEACHING the refresher course! Jermaine: Man, you got an ego bigger than that dome of yours. Omi: Nothing is bigger than my dome! And I thank you to leave my dome OUT OF IT! Jermaine: Can you believe this guy man? Dojo: Hey, there are three things I've learned not to talk about. Religion, politics and Omi's head. – Xiaolin Showdown, Season 2 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Dojo: No winner!? What a rip-off! You wouldn't see this in the old days! – Xiaolin Showdown, Season 2 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Dojo: Boys and girls, let me tell you a story about these two dragon buddies. Always seen together, like peas and carrots. Raimundo: Is this story gonna be long or short? Dojo: It'll take as long as it takes! Clay and Kimiko: Long story. Dojo: One day, they have this spot. Angry wicked words were exchanged. Words? That could never taking back. And when it was old...these two friends...would never...speak..again. [sobs] It's funny. But I know even remember what the fight was about. [pause] Oh, wait. Now I remember. Chuck wanted to borrow my yo-yo. My favorite yo-yo. The treasure family yo-yo! I politely told Chuck know. But didn't live it that. NO! He snacked to my room and too many away! And then...he lost it. LOST IT! Well, they played dumb. Never set a word. Until one night I caught a talking asleep! The only time that scoundrel couldn't tell them truth! And he's gone. GOOD RIDDANCE TO YO-YO THIEF! [spits on Clay's dinner] Clay: Dojo, why'd you spittin' my food? Dojo: Oh. Sorry. – Xiaolin Showdown, Season 2 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Omi: I order you to spill your internal organs right now! Jack: [screamed] What kind of sick people are you!? Raimundo: I think he means spill your guts. – Xiaolin Showdown, Season 2 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Jack: Hey, I want my stuff back. Tubbimura: No, I will keep everything. Jack: Think again, bubba. I press enter and doggy breath is a UFM. Unidentified flying Muffinface! Tubbimura: No! Not my Muffinface! Ok, ok, I will return your stuff. – Xiaolin Showdown, Season 2 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Jack: Worm-Bots, get your worm-butts back in line! – Xiaolin Showdown, Season 2 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Master Fung: [As the temple collapses] Remember, the fate of the world rests with you! Raimundo: Is it me or does the fate of the world rest with us a lot? – Xiaolin Showdown, Season 2 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Jack: What do you think the spiders want with us? Raimundo: Dude, we're in their web. Take a guess. Jack: [Understanding] I DON'T WANT A SPIDER TO EAT ME! Clay: Chill, evil partner! Spiders don't eat people! They desiccate you, suck out all your fluids until nothing is left. [Clay dried up and the others staring at him] What? Can't a cowboy have a hobby? Jack: I don't want to be...what he said! – Xiaolin Showdown, Season 2 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Omi: Hurry, everyone! Take my hand! Jack: I have a better idea! I'll take the Golden Tiger Claws! Kimiko: Jack, you jerk! Jack: Too late, Xiaolin has-been! – Xiaolin Showdown, Season 2 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Clay: Get a move on! They're gaining on us! – Xiaolin Showdown, Season 2 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Jimmy: You must be in university by now. Lilly: Oh, I was going to go, but they pointed out that university is just a place wankers go to study poetry and fist themselves. – You're the Worst, Season 2 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Jimmy: Did you know my entire childhood was spent with the lot of you incessantly mocking me. The first time I learned to ride a bicycle and fell into that pile of loose lead. [The family laughs] My phase of wearing Mum's high heels. And, yeah, the famous Shitty Jimmy incident, which, if you remember, only happened because Fi pushed me! Fiona: In my defense, I only pushed you so you'd fall in shit! Jimmy: And now you've come to cow me again? Well, it will not work. Do you know why? Because I understand that you're not the sisters I looked up to, or the father whose... or the father whose approval I desperately wanted. You are just unhappy, uneducated garbage! And I want you out of my house! [They laugh more] It's not funny! – You're the Worst, Season 2 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
[Opposite sketch. Nasti the dungeonkeeper is chained in the dungeon.] Nasti: Okay, Alasdair, I guess you finally got your revenge. Alasdair: Not exactly. Maestro, if you please? [There is a brief piano scale, then...] Alasdair: [singing loudly and off-key] ONE MILLION BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, A MILLION BOTTLES OF BEER... Nasti: [as Alasdair continues to sing] What? 999,000? No, don't! Please! I can't stand it! It'll take forever! [moans] – You Can't Do That on Television, Season 6 (1985) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
[The classroom. Justin is passing a note to Lisa.] Mr. Schidtler: Justin! Lisa! [he grabs the note] Passing little notes again. How many times have I warned you? Well, I'm gonna fix you two. I'm gonna read this little love note to the entire class. [Everyone else in the class cheers as Schidtler opens the note.] Mr. Schidtler: "Class dismissed." [The students cheer as they run out of the classroom and Schidtler protests against it.] – You Can't Do That on Television, Season 6 (1985) Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Jimmy: Day drinking's the best. Gretchen: Day drinking is the best! Aren't we lucky we're both in professions where we can day drink? Jimmy: Are you in a profession where you can day drink? Gretchen: They all are if you want it bad enough. – You're the Worst, Season 1 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Dojo: You know, I can still fit into the same swimming trunks I wore 1500 years ago! Kimiko: [giggles] You mean your old toga? – Xiaolin Showdown, Season 2 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Omi: Dojo, are you alright? Dojo: [Annoyed] I'm sitting in a pot of soup, what do you think?! – Xiaolin Showdown, Season 2 Show Quote	added 7 months ago
Wuya: What are you doing!? Jack: Do you have to sneak up on me all the time? Wuya: Would you prefer I did this?! [she flies through Jack's face] Jack: Whatever you do, PLEASE? Don't do that. Wuya: You're here looking for Chase Young. Jack: Could it be that one certain disembodied floating headed is getting...jealous? Wuya: Don't be ridiculous! [laughs] What's so special about Chase Young anyway? Jack: He's only the world's most skill master of Tai Chi. You know that's how you get to be a best. Hanging with the best. – Xiaolin Showdown, Season 2 Show Quote	added 7 months ago

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