Wikidude's Quotes Page #204

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Cne [2.9]:
Dr. Michael: Hey Mayor, your boyfriend's getting out of control.

Tom Goes to the Mayor, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Cne [2.9]:
Tom: Hi, I'm Tom Peters and for years I've not been able to control my unpleaseant and embrassing CNE but thanks to taking Provolanaproxalidamine-C, five times per day. My sheets, my bed, and my wife are all dry again.

Tom Goes to the Mayor, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Cne [2.9]:
Doctor: Well there's really two ways to treat CNE. The first and easist is the simply examine your relationship with your wife.

Tom Goes to the Mayor, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Cne [2.9]:
Mayor: It's what we like to call Irritable Semen Syndrome. That would explain the burning and the rash.

Tom Goes to the Mayor, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Mayor:
Okay lets see... party is a category C, small child, .. surprise party oh i love those! accessories... no. party for..? gibbons!? GIBBONS!!!!!!!!!!!

Tom Goes to the Mayor, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Gibbons:
That sword is soooo awesome. Pretty good bargain for $800. nnaaaaaannnd I'm pretty sure it comes with an emerald sheath. _________________________________________________________________________________

Tom Goes to the Mayor, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Mayor:
Sorry, Buddy...

Tom Goes to the Mayor, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Tom:
What about my family? My friend said something about life insurance?

Tom Goes to the Mayor, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Saxman [2.6]:
Tom: Tom Peter's phone.

Tom Goes to the Mayor, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Saxman [2.6]:
Tom: Ok here we go. Alright let's take it from the top. 1,2,3,4 (singing) You're guaranteed to sleep. If we don't ask for you customer code, your second mattress is half-

Tom Goes to the Mayor, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Mayor:
I think I liked you better dead Jeffy

Tom Goes to the Mayor, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

(Gasps)

Saxman:
Hey

Tom:
Oh geez Saxman, you scared me. Oh man what um why aren't you outside in your pup tent?

Saxman:
Oh it's so cold out there brother. It's frosty.

Tom:
Wait a minute Saxman, what's that on your legs there?

Saxman:
I found these tiny pants in this totally fun room.

Tom:
Those are Brendin's Saxman. My son's that's my step-son's room your fiddling around in.

Saxman:
Whoa whoa man, dude. Chill out, where's the anger coming from?

Tom:
I'm sa..

Saxman:
Is this the way you treat a partner?

Tom:
Just really stressed out, got our concert tomorrow and and you know. I'm not exactly getting the luck of the draw with these lyrics here.

Saxman:
I have just the thing to calm you down my brother. (He pushes Tom down into the bed with his foot) Yeah get all snuggled down there. Tom: Saxman.. h-hold on a second-

Saxman:
Shhhhh. Let my sax notes massage your soul brother. (he plays his Soprano Sax in Tom's face, a colorful sleeping gas billows out) Sleep baby.. sleep.

Tom Goes to the Mayor, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Saxman:
Half off.

Tom:
Right. Maybe you-

Saxman:
Half off..

Tom:
can do a C sharp

Saxman:
See, you're a half step off on the half off. (laughs)

Tom:
Just trying to-

Saxman:
Half off.

Tom:
Yeah you're probably right. Uh, let me just make a note of that here. Ah, shoot I'm working on the bass cleft here. You know what Saxman? Let's take five. Um, there's actually something I wanted to get off my chest since this morning. Did you and your friends happen come in the house and have some kind of jazz jam last night?

Saxman:
What in how? No I slept like a baby right out there in my pup tent.

Tom:
Uh, that's weird. Just, uh, it's nothing.. There's just..there's some piles of BM in my bedroom and just uhh, something I don't know. You know what? Forget it. Let's take it from the top. 2,3,4. If we don't ask for your customer code...

Saxman:
Cut cuuuut. It's not working man. It's just not working.

Tom:
Aww, we'll get there, come on. You know we just need to rhyme some of these words. I haven't (sighs) Let's see what rhymes with consumer price rebate.

Saxman:
No no. It's not that your rhyming like diamond. It's just that, my lips are all chapped. I need to wet 'em up. Darn!

Tom:
What is it?

Saxman:
Well the best way is to kiss something for a while, you know. Just to moisten up my lips.

Tom:
Ooh..kay..?

Saxman:
Oh Tom, I wouldn't ask you if I knew another way, but you know we're burning studio time here.

Tom:
Oh I see your sayin'. You wanna ..wanna kiss me?

Saxman:
Well it's not so much that I want to but it's my chops, you know they need to touch another man's lips to bring them back to life.

Tom:
Oh, alright. I guess a kiss on the mouth between friends can't hurt. (Tom and Saxman ease in slowly for a kiss)

(As soon as their lips touch, Joy and her children burst through the front door, witnessing the event)

Joy:
Ahhhh!!

Tom:
Joy! You're back!

(Brindon takes several photos)

Brindon:
My step dad, and some man in our kitchen.

(He places the photos in "Brindon's Memory Book")

Tom Goes to the Mayor, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Mayor:
Tom, it's me. Where the heck are you?

Tom:
Uhhh I'm at home, I..I got grounded.

Mayor:
Ooo that sucks. I wish you could have seen The Saxman he was great.

Tom:
Oh

Mayor:
Yeah

Tom:
He made it

'Mayor:
haha

Tom:
I didn't know if he was going to make it.

Mayor:
He sold about...eight or nine cd's. I mean he made a huge profit out of the show.

Tom:
Oh..well we're not really working together anymore. Joy doesn't really want me, you know, hanging around with him, so.

Mayor:
Well that's a bummer. How long are going to be grounded for?

Tom:
Uh..uh probably a couple of weeks.

Mayor:
Ehh

Tom:
Hows the..hows the grand opening. Everything.

Mayor:
Yeah it was great Gimball Twins are playing now.

Tom:
Oh, uhh no I wish I could see them. I love the Gimball Twins.

Mayor:
Yeah they're hilarious.

Tom:
So umm. Well I should probably get off the phone.

'Mayor:
Can you use the internet?

Tom:
No, not really,br> 'Mayor: Mmm, alright well.

Tom:
I'll talk to you later.

Mayor:
Ok you can call later.

Tom:
bye.

Tom Goes to the Mayor, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Joy:
Well that's not going to happen.

Doctor:
And the other alternative is to perform emergency testicular surgery which would be quite intentsive and painful. I'm talking balls painful.

Tom Goes to the Mayor, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Tom:
Uh, first off, it's Tom Peters here, and I'm.. I'm sorry did you say you had access to my medical records?

Mayor:
Of course he does Tom, Michael is a medical doctor. He's also the official rep for Provo-C.

Tom:
Uh, I'm just not sure what, you know, what that is.

Tom Goes to the Mayor, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Joy:
GET MY BOYS TO BASS FEST ..... NOWWWWWWWWWW!!! (room shakes from her thunderous voice)

Tom Goes to the Mayor, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Tom Peters:
To The People Of The Future...Shoot.

Tom Goes to the Mayor, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Saxman [2.6]:
Tom: Great set man, cool really cool.

Tom Goes to the Mayor, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Saxman [2.6]:
'Mayor: Wow Tom this is really what I had in mind. Great video, great directing.

Tom Goes to the Mayor, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Saxman [2.6]:
Tom: (sighs) Alright here we go again. Now Saxman just try and focus with me here. Action!

Tom Goes to the Mayor, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Saxman [2.6]:
Mayor: Wow Lou, I gotta tell you this is just one heck of a.

Tom Goes to the Mayor, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Coach Harris (played by Gary Bucy):
I have never seen a more pathetic display of female cowardice and womanly stupidity!!

Tom Goes to the Mayor, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Elevator:
Welcome, CEO Tam Pietress

Tom Goes to the Mayor, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

We need you!

Help us build the largest authors community and quotes collection on the web!

Quiz

Are you a quotes master?

»
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
A Oppenheimer
B Charles Dickens
C Albert Einstein
D Joseph Stalin