Wikidude's Quotes Page #324

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Ben:
Ma’am, you’re gonna be drowning in money so dark it could get shot entering its own apartment.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Kent:
Ma'am, we're scrapping tomorrow's schedule. You're making an appearance at the Iowa State Fair.

Ben:
Block and tackle retail politics. Eat a few corn dogs...

Selina:
Last thing I need is my picture being taken eating dick-shaped food. I'd rather eat a food-shaped dick.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Teddy:
Jonah, we focused tested the ad, and most people are uncomfortable watching a white man kick a black woman in the vagina.

Jonah:
Hey, I don't see vagina color.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Abortion protester:
Think of the innocent children!

Amy:
Oh, you want me to think about the children, you hog-fingering fucks? Well, guess what? I did think about this. I considered it, and I cried, and, yeah, suck my cock, I even prayed a little. And here I am. So you can back the fuck off, you hypocritical cunts, before I show up to the piss puddle that is your house and protest your husband whacking it to your daughter's seventh grade yearbook! That sign's misspelled.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Catherine:
This is a pretty good turnout for a dog funeral. Even the governor's here. Who are all these people?

Richard:
Novelty mayors are Iowa's number one form of tourism, after tornado chasing and coming into town to buy Sudafed.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Selina:
God bless America for hating women almost as much as I do!

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Kent:
"Man Up" continues to resonate in all four quadrants.

Selina:
It's universal: Men hate women, women hate themselves.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Dan:
Ma'am, the new anti-Kemi ad pieces came in. [hands her the ad]

Selina:
What the tragic mulatto fuck! Kemi looks like an albino, and I'm so black people are gonna start calling me "articulate".

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Marjorie:
[about Richard] I've never been more proud that I taught that man to ejaculate into a cup.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Selina:
So, how's the turnout?

Ben:
Well, much like my prostate, mostly black and much larger than we'd like.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Ben:
Ma'am, I warned you, you cannot trust the Chinese. I've married enough of them to know that.

Selina:
Isn't your wife Korean?

Ben:
Maybe. Fog of war.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Selina:
Okay Gary, you need to spend every dime in the space-based...

Kent:
Faith-based.

Selina:
Mmm-hmm. On religious shit, ASAP.

Gary:
I don't know how to do that. I don't even know how it got in there.

Selina:
Just give it to one of those gay-converting Baptist colleges to fund a statue of a gold-plated Jesus fucking a Triceratops.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Amy:
Your particular brand of crazy is polling very high here in Florida, especially with melanoma-ravaged swamp fuckers, storm-ravaged climate deniers, and deadbeat dads... and deadbeat moms.

Jonah:
Those are my peeps.

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Furlong:
Well, we gotta go. Will's got a full day ahead of him. Tell 'em what you gotta do, Will.

Will:
Well, I was hoping to finally finish my passion project.

Furlong:
Which is?

Will:
Rerouting my urethra to behind my balls so that I have to sit to pee, like a real girl.

Furlong:
Ha!

Veep, Season 7  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

[Tom and Rosie begin slinging nonsensical insults at each other]

Tom Grape:
Hey! What'd you do that for?

Rosie Grape:
I didn't do it! You did, ya big possum head!

Tom:
I did not, you taco salad rabbit nose!

Rosie:
You did too, casserole-head, pimento-loaf, iguana boy!

Tom:
Pa!

Pa Grape:
[gets out of the car] Now, Rose, apologize to your brother.

Rosie:
Huh? What for?

Pa:
Well, you know he just turned 18 years old.

Rosie:
Yeah, so?

Pa:
So that would make him a casserole-head, pimento-loaf, iguana man!

Rosie:
Oh, yeah, sorry about that, [under breath] cabbage-nosed Elvis puppy.

Tom:
Yeah, and don't you forget it!

VeggieTales  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

[Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber crash through Junior's ceiling.]

Junior:
Aah! Who are you?

Bob:
I'm Bob. I'm a tomato, and I'm here to help you.

[Junior's toy chest starts rattling]

Junior:
There's something in my toy chest! It's a- It's a- [Larry pops out with a bonnet on his head] ... baby pickle?

Bob:
It's a cucumber.

VeggieTales  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Bob the Tomato:
Look up at that window. What do you see?

Junior Asparagus:
My curtains.

Bob:
No! Out the window, up in the sky.

Junior:
I see lots of stars.

Larry the Cucumber:
God made all those stars out of nothing, he just went, [razzes], and there they were.

VeggieTales  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Narrator:
[while Daniel is praying] And so the next day, just like every other day, Daniel prayed and thanked God for the sunshine and for all his friends. He also thanked God for giving him the courage to do what was right, even when he knew it could get him in trouble.

Daniel (Larry):
[opens one eye] Did you say "trouble"?

[The Scallions open the door and catch Daniel in the act.]

Scallion #1:
Ah-ha!

[The Scallions approach Daniel.]

VeggieTales  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Scallion #1:
Daniel, because you violated Section 4219 2R9-4000 6 dot 1 dash 7, B, of the code of Babylon, forbidding prayer to anyone but King Darius- you are hereby sentenced to be consumed by the lions. Goodbye!

Daniel (Larry):
Hey, didn't get I get a phone [The Scallions tosses him in] caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllll!

[Daniel lands on the ground with a thud. He gets up dizzily. The scallion wisemen call down to him.]

Scallion #2:
Hey, Daniel! We know you're gonna have fun down there! We're not "lion"!

Scallion #3:
Uh, yeah, you better be "lion" down, because those lions are gonna... lie... on you!

Scallion #2:
[to Scallion #3] Mine was funny, yours was... goofy. Lions are gonna lie on him? They're gonna EAT him! They're not gonna LIE on him!

Scallion #3:
Well, maybe they'll lie on him first, and then eat him... or maybe one will lie on him while the others eat him... or maybe they'll take turns between lying and eating-

Scallion #2:
Yeah, you think the lions are gonna cooperate and say "Hey, I'll eat him, you lie on him"? Come on, we're the ones who are lyin', not the lions. [seals the den up]

VeggieTales  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Daniel (Larry):
[singing in fear] Oh no, what am I gonna do? It looks like I'm gonna end up as lion stew!

VeggieTales  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

[last lines of "Daniel and the Lion's Den"]

Darius (Archibald):
I've got it, a new law! From this day forth, everyone will pray only to Daniel's God, no more of this silly praying to me business. But who's idea was that anyway? Oh, yes, I remember.

Scallion #1:
[whispers to Scallion #2] I hear they're looking for wisemen down in Egypt. Been fun, got to go now!

Scallion #2:
Yeah, see ya! [The Scallions runs off]

Darius (Archibald):
[angrily; he and Daniel start chasing The Scallions] Where do you think you're going?! Come back here, you scoundrels! You scallywags! Not so fast! Stop! I'm the King, you must stop now! Come back here! Stop it!

Daniel (Larry):
Hey guys, come back! There's some pizza left!

VeggieTales  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Bob the Tomato:
God made you special, and He loves you very much. [closing line of most episodes]

VeggieTales  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

Archibald:
I wonder where the skipper is.

Lovey:
Who?

Archibald:
You know, dear, the bright, red, round fellow.

Lovey:
Oh, yes. Where is he, anyway?

Archibald:
I don't know. That's what I was wondering.

Lovey:
Oh, I see.

Bob:
Has anyone seen Larry?

Archibald:
Did you say something?

Lovey:
No, it was that tree over there.

Archibald:
Really? Well, what did it say?

Lovey:
I believe it's looking for Larry. ...Who's Larry?

Archibald:
Oh, you remember. He's the chap who smashed the boat.

Lovey:
Oh, and ruined our vacation?

Archibald:
That's the one.

Lovey:
Oh... Well, I hope that tree gets him. Serves him right.

Archibald:
Here, here.

[Bob is high up in the tree.]

Bob:
Hello! People! Have you seen Larry?

Archibald:
Oh look, Lovey! It's the skipper!

Lovey:
I didn't know tomatoes grew on trees.

Archibald:
Well, actually... Oh, never mind. [to Bob] Skipper, what are you doing up there?!

Bob:
I'm looking for Larry! When I woke up this morning, he was gone!

VeggieTales  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

[Inside one of the huts, Bob and Larry are laying in their beds]

Larry:
Gee, it's kinda nice out here. Maybe this isn't so bad after all, Huh Bob?

Bob:
[still annoyed] Not so bad? What do you mean "Not so bad"?! Our boat is at the bottom of the ocean and we're stuck on this island, in the middle of nowhere, with no way to get home!

Larry:
I said I was "sorry". At least you could forgive me.

Bob:
Well it's just that we're... Well, can't you see we're... I just... I just... can't! [turns away] Oh!

Larry:
I said I was "sorry".

Bob:
Well, that's just not good enough. Good night. [turns to sleep]

Larry:
Not good enough? Not good enough?! He means-He means I'm not good enough. They all think I'm not good enough. I bet they be happier if I just left. So that's what I'll do. [climbs out of bed] I'm just gonna-gonna take my things and just go away, Yeah. [looks for those, but didn't see them] I don't have any things, so I'll just go. With just my hat. [hops out] Goodbye, Bob. I hope you find a first mate that's good enough. [he sadly hops away]

VeggieTales  Show Quote

added 9 months ago

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