Wikidude's Quotes Page #331

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Ben:
You know what's gonna happen to me tomorrow?

Selina:
No.

Ben:
Yeah. My good friend POTUS? My Gamma Chi brother? He's gonna summon me to his office, he's gonna show me a sword, and he's gonna tell me to take the sword and slide it down my throat until it comes out my ass!

– Veep, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Larry:
You know those dreams where your football coach is, like, screaming at you, you look down, you're dressed like Shirley Temple and all your teeth fall out? That's like a Disney version of the Congressional Committee!

– Veep, Season 1  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Selina:
[to Mike] Did you find out who the President's playing golf with? [off of Mike's expression] Golf! You know, men walking around with sticks, talking about their careers.

– Veep, Season 1  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Amy:
You know, I saw a guitar in there. You play the guitar, right?

Dan:
Not in this situation!

Amy:
Yes! Yes!

Dan:
No, my guitar is for seduction, not crowd control. Granted, on a good night that's one and the same, but still.

Amy:
No, we're finding the guitar. That's what we're doing.

– Veep, Season 1  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Selina:
Dan? Did your boyfriend know anything about this?

Dan:
I was trying to use Jonah for intelligence!

Selina:
That's like trying to use a croissant as a fucking dildo!

Dan:
I thought—

Selina:
No, no! Let me be more clear: it doesn't do the job, and it makes a fucking MESS! Get out of my office.

– Veep, Season 1  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Amy:
Hi, Sidney. How are you?

Sidney Purcell:
Oh, you know, full of free shrimp.

Amy:
Hey, here's the thing: Clean Jobs...

Sidney Purcell:
Clean Jobs, yeah. What's going on there? You guys got a name yet? You too afraid of wrecking the Earth's resources to print up a press release?

Amy:
I was actually gonna run a name by you...

Sidney Purcell:
Don't say Chuck Furnham. [sees Amy's expression] Do not say Chuck Furnham! If you say Chuck Furnham, I will go into anaphylactic fucking shock.

Amy:
I'm saying Chuck Furnham—

Sidney Purcell:
FUCKING HELL!! Are you kidding me? Chuck Furnham, that's fucking official?!

Amy:
Chuck is oil.

Sidney Purcell:
No. No, no. Hey, I'm sorry, no. He's not oil. He's a fucking fossil but he's not oil. We need somebody who is plugged in. The only thing Chuck is plugged into is his fucking piss-bag.

– Veep, Season 1  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Jessica:
Are you scared, Becky?

Becky:
Yeah. Sort of terrified. But I know it's what I want.

Jessica:
And you think this is right? For him, I mean? Have you ever looked into the eyes of someone you love who's dying? It's not something that leaves you.

– Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Michael:
Wilson, trust me, listen. Don't--don't do this. Please. This is not you.

Wilson:
No. I don't think I am me. Not any more.

– Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Jessica:
He's going to release the virus now.

Leah:
It would appear so, dear.

Jessica:
Call me "dear" again and I'll cut your face off.

– Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Wilson:
How could you do that? How could you shoot at people you love?

Anton:
World's full of love. Billions of people loving billions of others. All that love will turn to dust when our resources die. I've seen what people are capable of when they feel they're losing everything. Look around.

– Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Becky:
Oh, and don't start calling them "The Three," okay? It's not Lord of the Fucking Rings and you're not a hobbit or a fucking space goblin, right?

– Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Becky:
You get out that way and you avoid all the security. I'll be waiting and if no one kills us, then I think we should be fine.

– Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Michael:
Do you mind if we talk about you breaking in with a knife, and not my eggs?

– Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Becky:
What the fuck are you doing here?

Ian:
I--I've come to find you.

Becky:
Why?

Ian:
What do you mean, why?

Becky:
I mean, why have you come to find me?

Ian:
Why do you think?

Becky:
I don't know. That's why I'm fucking asking you.

Ian:
Jesus, this is not at all going how I imagined it would.

– Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Ian:
I missed you. I fucking missed you. I used to check CCTV feeds. Missing persons. I'd walk out the office int he middle of a meeting just in case you happened to be passing. Every second I missed you. And what do you say when you see me? "What the fuck do you want?"

Becky:
Right, well, when you put it like that...

– Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Becky:
I can't explain that. All right--all right, I can explain it. I slept with him. Once. I just found out I had Deel's, he knew all about it, I was on a very low ebb. It--it will never happen again. And just thinking about it makes me want a vagina transplant, so I'm just fucking telling you, all right?

– Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Lee:
Oh, look. It's that one-eyed freak who shot me in my lung.

Wilson:
Yeah, well, you put my eye out.

Lee:
Just doing my job. Besides, you got a nice new pirate-y look out of it. All I got was partial paralysis.

– Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Lee:
What I like about you, Wilson is the amount of stuff you know, all of it fucking useless.

Wilson:
Knowledge is never useless.

Lee:
Wasn't much use when I got my spoon out, was it? Or when I killed your dad.

– Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Lee:
It's not that you can't take life. I reckon you could take billions. But it would have to be necessary. Killing me just isn't necessary.

– Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Becky:
You called Milner.

Ian:
It was a mistake.

Becky:
Was it? Was it, Ian? Are you that fucking stupid? Or... are you actually quite fucking smart.

Ian:
Your insults are getting increasingly cryptic, what the hell are you saying?

– Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Milner:
Are you asking me, "Am I a killer", Michael? Yes, I am. I didn't want to be. It's just the way it turned out. Like Churchill or Lincoln.

Michael:
Or Hitler.

– Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Becky:
Ian, what are you doing?

Ian:
I'm getting Grant back.

Becky:
What? Are you trying to find a weapon? Is that it?

Ian:
Right.

Becky:
Well, that's a curtain pole, Ian. You've got a curtain pole.

– Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Marius:
What's going on?

Grant:
Becky found a way to speak to Anton. Through twatface.

Marius:
Is twatface me?

– Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Jessica:
Look, find out where they have them. Take a mobile, the GPS.

Michael:
They search me. They fucking search me. How do I get a phone in there?

Jessica:
Shove it up your arse. No, I'm serious. You have to shove it up your arse. It's the only way. Don't use a big one.

– Utopia, Season 2  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

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Quiz

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In which movie does this quote appear: "This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time."?
A Men in Black
B Double Impact
C Way of the Dragon
D Fight Club