Wikidude's Quotes Page #333

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude  —  There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Bert:
I did a sloppy job on the fireworks. I should have worked harder on everything!

Melissa:
You just worked too hard on too many things Bert.

Bert:
Yeah, and I let all my friends down.

Ralph:
Bert, we are your friends, and that's what makes it alright to say no to us.

Melissa:
We don't expect you to be a superman.

Ralph:
We understand.

Bert:
Gee, thanks guys.

The Raccoons, Season 5 (1990-1991)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Narrator:
Sometimes, trying to help out our friends, we make all sorts of promises. But the best promises of all are the ones we can keep.

The Raccoons, Season 5 (1990-1991)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Computerised Cyril:
(Responding to a phone call) Listen Leech, if I do not see some cold hard cash pronto, you will hear from so many lawyers that latin will become your second language!

The Raccoons, Season 5 (1990-1991)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Pig Three:
There's no one here!

Cyril:
I've been kept waiting for nothing! Who does this guy think he is?

Pig Three:
Maybe he just stepped out to, er, freshen up before your meeting!

Cyril:
I want to buy his company, not go out on a date with him!

The Raccoons, Season 5 (1990-1991)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Schaeffer:
Alright class, we shall begin at the beginning; breathing.

Bert:
Ha ha ha! Ah, come on Schaeffer we know how to breathe already! We've been doing it for years!

Schaeffer:
You must be the advanced class, heh heh heh!

The Raccoons, Season 5 (1990-1991)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Schaeffer:
I'm not teaching you boys how to fight. Martial arts teaches self-defense, and there's a big difference. Do you understand?

The Raccoons, Season 5 (1990-1991)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Bentley:
You're the best, sweetest, most understanding parents in the world! That's why you should let me have a puppy!

Nicole:
Bentley, for the last time you cannot have a puppy, until, you've proven you're responsible enough to take care of it!

Bentley:
I just DID the dishes, didn't I? And you didn't even have to ask me! I AM responsible!

Nicole:
Uh-huh. And what happened to your goldfish?

Bentley:
But I was just a kid then! If I had a puppy, I'd walk him, and feed him, and be the best friend a puppy ever had!

George:
You heard your mother, Bentley.

Bentley:
Fine. I guess I'm just gonna be a lonely boy without a dog... for the rest of my natural life. Sheesh.

The Raccoons, Season 5 (1990-1991)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Pig One:
"Where no man has broadcast before..." Boys, I've got it! This is gonna be a Mother's Day Mom will never forget!

The Raccoons, Season 5 (1990-1991)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Ralph:
Okay Schaeffer, how about this? If we change the ice hockey game to the football game, that means we can watch the baseball playoff, and still catch the golf tournament!

Schaeffer:
Not bad, but, what about the snooker challenge?

Ralph:
Oh yeah. Wait! It's on during the baseball game! We could flip between innings!

Melissa:
Ralph?

Ralph:
Hi Melissa. Oh hi Nicole. Didn't hear you come in.

Melissa:
Look what we've got! Tickets for the ballet for Wednesday! We stood in line for two hours but...

Ralph:
Wednesday... Wednesday... Ah, here we are! Oh, gee! Not a chance, Melissa! We've got to watch the divisional synchronized swimming finals on Wednesday!

Schaeffer:
And third round sumo wrestlings on right after.

Melissa:
Oh well, you couldn't miss that, could you?

The Raccoons, Season 5 (1990-1991)  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Todd:
Wait a second! Riley, did you just con me into buying your dumb jerky? That is so... Impressive! I never thought you had it in you.

Riley:
Well, it is for a good cause.

Todd:
That you're lying for! How can I help?

The Replacements  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

[last lines in the series]

Stimpy:
Aw, raggy!

The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 5  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Stimpy: Tive uma nota brilhante pelo Stimpy maltês! Isso diz: "Tenho um nilhaão de lolarés, wE os leões são como escrúplados! Then lock your two knocks on the doors by the docks, And we'll unlock our locks on that spot for a talk!" Say Sam, you look fraught?! Please say you are not! Ren: 'Thought your wad'd be shot, When you got to the spot, 'Bout the docks and the knocks And the locks and the talks, Eet's made me quite rought, Seence you've talked quite a lot, Yet meessed not a jot Nor got caught een meed-thought! I do not like theese ransome plan! I do not like eet, Sam I am!"

The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 5  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Stimpy:
My atomic wave projector will increase the yield of these sugar frosted lumps a thousand fold! Who knows where this could lead?

Ren:
Anyone who's read the title "Dogzilla" has a pretty good idea, I theenk.

Stimpy:
This could be a boon to mankind, you know!

Ren:
You wouldn't say that eef thees story was called "CATZILLA"!

The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 5  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Ren:
We're ready to order, miss. One big bacteria, two moldfurters, an acteev culture shake, and--

Stimpy & Svën:
NO, WAIT!

Stimpy:
I want a turkey nut yogurt cane!

Svën:
Und an order of lactose-on-a-stick, yew betcha!

Ren:
Eexcuse me. That weel be one turkey nut cone, one lactose-on-a-steeck, one one moldfurter, and--

Stimpy & Svën:
NO, WAIT!

Ren:
What ees eet NOW?

Stimpy & Svën:
We're not hungry.

Ren:
[steaming] Not... hungry. Fine. No problem.

The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 5  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Future Ren 1: Hey. buddy! Yeah you, pal! Look at you, when I'm talkin' to me! Ren: ? Future Ren 1: Leesten up! Your plan... eet steenks! We must do sometheeng about these time-holes before eet's too late! Ren: Ah, but I am doing sometheeng! I'm geeving them a whole new speeffy look! You're just jealous that you deedn't theenk of eet! Future Ren 1: (grinding his teeth) But I deed theenk of eet... when I was you! Eet was stupeed then, and eet's stupeed now! And--and--and GRRRRR!

The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 5  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Stimpy:
Oh, Re-en! Before we go Yaksmas caroling, I have something for you!

Ren:
What are you up to?

Stimpy:
Nothing. It's a present!

Ren:
A present?

Stimpy:
Well, I couldn't afford to buy you a Christmas present. So I made you one!

Ren:
Aww, thanks, l. You know, Stimpy, it's the thought that counts. And besides, if you made my present, that makes it all the more special!

Stimpy:
Okay, Ren! Here's your present! [barfs up hairballs] HWARRRF!!!

Ren:
CAT HAIRBALLS!?!?!

The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 5  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

(About the Jerky)

Dick Daring:
You want me to be your celebrity spokesperson? Ha ha, I'm honored!

C.A.R.':
(Clears Throat Loudly)

Dick Daring:
Yes?

C.A.R.:
Aren't we going to try it first?

Dick Daring:
Did I ask for your opinion?

C.A.R.:
No. Just like you didn't ask my opinion about your jet-powered pogo stick!

(Shows Hole in Roof)

Dick Daring:
Well it can't hurt to taste it first I suppose.

The Replacements  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Beth:
[about the Fifth Amendment] It doesn't apply!

Jim:
What do you mean, it doesn't apply? It's in the Constitution!

Beth:
It doesn't apply in this case, Jim. I told you the judge wouldn't buy your privileged argument! He read the questions the grand jury asked you, and he read your answers, and he said you waived your rights.

Jim:
You want to know what I think?

Beth:
I know what you think and I agree with you, only there's nothing I can do about it.

Jim:
I don't even know Frank Sorvino, I don't even know what they're trying to prove, whether I kidnapped him or snuck him out of the country? The federal prosecutor is playing Clarence Darrow like he's got a whip and a chair!

Beth:
Gary Bevins, he's bucking for the Attorney General.

Jim:
And he'll probably make it too. It's his show all the way, no attorney for the defense, you gotta go take a hike to find a judge, it's just Bevins and his merry band of men!

Beth:
Now look, Jim...

Jim:
Oh yeah, yeah, and the jury foreman? He has a gavel! Now since when do they give gavels to jury foremen?

Beth:
They don't, only it's not unusual for the average citizen to sort of get caught up in the role and...

Jim:
And then ask for one.

Beth:
No, I think they buy their own.

Jim:
Oh, come on. Beth, how soon can you get me out of here?

Beth:
I don't think I ought to try.

Jim:
Try? Hey, even murder's bailable!

Beth:
So is civil contempt, if I can convince the judge you got grounds for appeal.

Jim:
Then convince him!

Beth:
It's not that simple, Jim! You can go out one day and come back the next, you can't take this thing all the way to the Supreme Court!

Jim:
You mean I'm going to be eating cream chip beef on toast till they decide to let me out of here?

Beth:
Not exactly, you stay in jail until you agree to testify.

Jim:
Well, I'm not going to testify! Bevins is a one-man lynch mob!

Beth:
Or until the expiration of the current grand jury term.

Jim:
When is that?

Beth:
About nine months.

Jim:
Nine months? Oh, that's a pretty stiff sentence!

Beth:
That's why they made it civil contempt. If they'd made it criminal contempt, and asked for a sentence of more than six months, you'd have had a right to a trial by jury.

Jim:
Nine months...

Beth:
But, when the new grand jury is impaneled, if you're called again and you refuse to testify, again...

Jim:
Then it's back to the old slammer.

Beth:
Until their term expires, eighteen months. Then...

Jim:
And then they impanel another jury and the whole thing starts all over again. I haven't been charged with anything, I haven't been convicted of anything, you know, with a deal like that, do you realize how long I could be in here?

Beth:
Theoretically? The rest of your life.

Jim:
Yeah.

The Rockford Files, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Jim:
I've testified before this grand jury on two prior occasions. As a result, I've been imprisoned twice, I've been very nearly killed, and I've been subjected to the most flagrant abuse of power...

Bevins:
Mr. Rockford, You are coming dangerously close to contempt of court again.

Foreman:
Mr. Bevins, can't Mr. Rockford finish? We are interested in what he has to say.

Jim:
Thank you, Mr. Foreman. See, it's been quite an education, Mr. Bevins. I've not only been cited with contempt, but I've been treated with contempt. And with a total disregard for my rights guaranteed to me under the constitution. I've been guilty of nothing except ignorance of the fact that the man that I knew as George Catman was in fact Frank Sorvino. And with the ignorance that in a proceeding of law you could slander and threaten and try to intimidate me with impunity. Well, Mr. Bevins, I want an apology. And I want it now.

Bevins:
The grand jury has no apology to make. You've been treated with scrupulous regard to your rights. The abuse of power to which you refer is the power conferred upon this body.

Jim:
I wasn't referring to the grand jury, Mr. Bevins.

Bevins:
The witness is excused.

Jim:
I read an article in a recent legal publication. I'd like to introduce it into the record, if that's all right? (Foreman nods) Thank you. It said, "There is no such thing as a small injustice. There is no such thing as a minor abridgement of rights. That if even one citizen is so deprived, make no mistake, we all suffer."

Bevins:
Stirring, Mr. Rockford.

Jim:
Thank you very much. That was part of a summation of a case that attracted quite a bit of attention a few years back. The client had been subjected to harassment, illegal search and seizure, a series of injustices in the name of justice.

Bevins:
Mr. Rockford, would it be too much to hope that there's a point to this rather lengthy reminiscence? The term of the current grand jury expires in nine months.

Jim:
Oh, I think you'll want to hear how it ended. It's a real Cinderella story. You see, the defense attorney not only won an acquittaI for his client with this impassioned outcry, but that very attorney was plucked from private practice by no less than the Attorney GeneraI of the United States, and appointed as an Assistant Federal Prosecutor.

Bevins:
And, I trust, lived happily ever after.

Jim:
I hope not, Mr. Bevins. I sincerely hope not. You don't remember the words, do you, Mr. Bevins? Because they're your words. As you said before, the grand jury has another nine months to serve here. I'd like to think that the grand jury will remember your words. Thank you, Mr. Foreman.

The Rockford Files, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Bevins:
Now, then, Mr. Rockford, what was the nature of your relationship with Frank Sorvino?

Jim:
I refuse to answer on the grounds that it might tend to incriminate me.

Bevins:
Of all the constitutional amendments, that seems to be your favorite. Isn't that correct, Mr. Rockford?

Jim:
I refuse to answer on the grounds that it might tend to incriminate me.

Bevins:
Not the First, not the Sixteenth, but the Fifth. It seems to be a universaI favorite among felons.

Foreman:
Mr. Bevins, we're all interested in the truth, but is it necessary to badger Mr. Rockford?

Bevins:
I'm sorry, Mr. Foreman, but this witness has steadfastly sought to withhold evidence that is vital to this inquiry.

Jim:
Mr. Foreman...

Bevins:
However, rather than burden the grand jury with another appeaI to Mr. Rockford's sense of civic duty and responsibility, Mr. Foreman, I will, instead, ask that the witness be excused, and file an appeal with the Department of Justice for a grant of immunity. When such grant is forthcoming, this witness will be recalled.

Jim:
Mr. Foreman, may I make a statement?

Foreman:
To what purpose, Mr. Rockford?

Jim:
To clarify a situation that could use some clarification.

Foreman:
All right, Mr. Rockford, a brief statement.

Jim:
There's an old saying, you never buy a pig in a poke. Well, I bought one when I walked into this courtroom the other day. I thought I was walking into a court of law, not an inquisition.

Bevins:
Mr. Foreman, I protest.

Jim:
No, Mr. Bevins, I protest. I'm a citizen of the United States. And, as a citizen, I'm guaranteed certain rights under the constitution. When I try to avail myself of those rights, I'm jailed, I'm threatened, I'm subjected to the worst kind of intimidation...

Bevins:
Mr. Foreman, this witness is trying to impugn the character and reputation...

Jim:
What character?

Foreman:
Mr. Rockford, I must warn you that you can be held in contempt for such statements.

Bevins:
The character of decent citizens who have been impaneled for the purpose...

Jim:
I'm not indicting the grand jury, I'm indicting Mr. Bevins. For misusing and manipulating...

Foreman:
(bangs gavel) Mr. Rockford, I warn you.

Jim:
I told you the truth, and you called me a liar. You paraded my prison record before these jurors, and ignored the fact that I was pardoned. Well, Mr. Bevins, you have less respect for the law than any of the men I ever did time with.

Bevins:
Mr. Foreman!

Jim:
I haven't done a damned thing. I have been subjected to harassment, character assassination, and your presence. Let me tell you, Mr. Bevins, you go ahead and get your grant of immunity, and you stick it in your ear!

The Rockford Files, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

(Beth got Jim released on a technicality, that his name had been miswritten)

Jim:
Neither one of us knew it was gonna be a kangaroo court.

Rocky:
Yeah, I don't understand it! You told them the truth!

Jim:
Yeah, and they didn't buy it. Hey look, I'm out, right?

Beth:
Temporarily. They're gonna hit you with another subpoena, Jim.

Jim:
Well, let them. This time I go in knowing the ground rules. I give them my name and I take the Fifth Amendment all the way.

Rocky:
That's what I'd do. Well, they think you're guilty anyway.

Jim:
Look, I can use the Fifth Amendment, can I? I mean, they haven't repealed the law or anything?

Beth:
No, sure, you can take it, and they'll dismiss you, it will just be postponing the inevitable. Gary Bevins will apply to the Department of Justice for a grant of immunity, then you'll be recalled and you'll have to testify, or be held in contempt of court, again. This time they're gonna get your name right, my love.

The Rockford Files, Season 3  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

(About the New Coach)

Riley:
(To Todd) Todd, this is terrible! This man is a tyrant. He has to go.

Coach Spike:
Riley! You'll be batting first.

Riley:
On the other hand, let's not be hasty.

The Replacements  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Riley:
OK, this is not working for me.

Sierra McCool:
Ya, neither is your hairstyle!

(Gives jerky to pack of wolves and they start to smell it)

Wolves:
We're hungry, not desperate!

(They start to eat from a garbage can)

The Replacements  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

Fat oaf: So let me get this straight. You're a CIA agent sent by the Queen of America to deliver this top-secret scooter to the West Pole? Stimpy: "Eh, that's right. To the big chief spy himself, Stinky Wizzleteats!"

The Ren & Stimpy Show, Season 5  Show Quote

added 7 months ago

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