Wikidude's Quotes Page #5,247

Here's the list of quotes submitted by wikidude — There are currently 140,397 quotes total — keep up the great work!

Capt. "Trapper" John Francis Xavier Mcintyre: [As a helicopter attempts to land on the helipad where they are standing] I wish they wouldn't land those things here while we're playing golf. – *MASH** Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Capt. "Trapper" John Francis Xavier Mcintyre: Well, you know, Man o' War, after they retired him from racing, they put him out to stud. And he had, on an average, uh, about a hundred and twenty, a hundred and thirty foals every year. And he lived to be thirty-six. And then when he died, they did an autopsy, and they found out that he was a raving queen. – *MASH** Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Capt. Augustus Bedford "Duke" Forrest: Oh, now damn it, Henry. Frank Burns is a menace! Every time a patient croaks on him, he says it's God's will or somebody else's fault. – *MASH** Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Capt. Augustus Bedford "Duke" Forrest: [Watching Frank Burns leave] Fair is fair, Henry. If I nail Hot Lips and punch Hawkeye, can I go home? – *MASH** Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Capt. Augustus Bedford "Duke" Forrest: Take care of the squirrels. – *MASH** Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Capt. Walter Koskiusko "Painless Pole" Waldowski: If a man isn't a man anymore . . . what's he got left that he should be living for? – *MASH** Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Capt. Walter Koskiusko "Painless Pole" Waldowski: I'm a fairy. A victim of latent homosexuality. I've turned into a fairy. – *MASH** Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Capt. Walter Koskiusko "Painless Pole" Waldowski: [During football game] All right bud, your fucking head is coming right off! – *MASH** Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Major Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan: [to Hawkeye] I like to think of the army as my home. – *MASH** Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Major Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan: [in the middle of sex] Oh, Frank, my lips are hot! Oh, kiss my hot lips! – *MASH** Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Major Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan: [in the middle of sex] Oh, Frank, strangle me! – *MASH** Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Major Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan: [to Henry] This isn't a hospital, it's an insane asylum! – *MASH** Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Lieutenant Colonel Henry Braymore Blake: [to Brigadier General Charlie Hammond] Ever since the dark days before Pearl Harbor, I have been proud to wear this uniform. – *MASH** Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Lieutenant Colonel Henry Braymore Blake: Alright men, we're not here to sell lemonade, we're here to practice! – *MASH** Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Lieutenant Colonel Henry Braymore Blake: How do ya like them apples, Charlie? – *MASH** Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Ho-Jon: Hawkeye? Duke say you better haul ass home quick. We got new chest cutter in our tent. – *MASH** Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
P.A. Announcement: Attention. Captain Banning - er, Captain Bandini. [Exhales forcefully] Attention. Captain Bandini is now performing a femoral pop—a popli—a p-- a femoral P-O-P-L-I-T-E-R-A-L artery expli - exp - - exploration and possible graft. – *MASH** Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Capt. Murrhardt: Painless is a dentist, and a dentist shouldn't read. That's his whole problem. – *MASH** Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Capt. Bandini: Something in a marshmallow? – *MASH** Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Pvt. Seidman: [Singing for Painless the Theme Song] Suicide is painless / it brings on many changes / and I can take or leave it / if I please – *MASH** Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Principal Dwight: Just by a show of hands, how many people have a test that starts with the question, "True or false: Principal Dwight has three nipples"? [students laugh] Well that's a lot of you. Well it's false. Put false. I was born without nipples for your information, and it looks beautiful! – Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
[first session with a marriage counselor] John: Ok, I'll go first. let me see... um... We don't really need to be here. See, we've been married for five years. Jane: Six. John: [chastened] Five or six years. – Mr. & Mrs. Smith Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
[at the counselor's office] Counselor: How often do you have sex? Jane: I don't understand the question. John: Yeah I'm lost, is this a one to ten thing? Jane: Yeah, is, like, ten nothing or one? 'Cause tech- technically speaking, zero would be nothing. [after a long pause] Counselor: How 'bout this week? [another long pause] John: Including the weekends? – Mr. & Mrs. Smith Movie Quote	added 2 years ago
Jane: There's this huge space between us, and it just keeps filling up with everything that we don't say to each other. What's that called? Marriage Counselor: Marriage. – Mr. & Mrs. Smith Movie Quote	added 2 years ago

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